Michelle Duggar, 45, has suffered a miscarriage of what would be her 20th baby. Her children range in age from two years (littlest Josie’s birthday is tomorrow) to 23. When I first heard this news I was hoping that it was an early stage miscarriage, and that she had made the announcement of her pregnancy relatively early. Sadly, she was in her second trimester and was at the doctor to learn the sex of the baby when she was told that the baby’s heartbeat could not be found. The family is now preparing to have a funeral. That’s very sad.
At a routine check-up Thursday to find out the sex of their 20th child, their doctor was unable to find a heartbeat and told the couple they had miscarried in the second trimester.
“After the appointment, we came back home and told the children,” says Michelle, 45.
“We had just been talking about baby names last night and they were getting excited about naming a boy or a girl. It has been a real sad disappointment.”
She says the family will select a name after they know if the baby was a boy or girl, and then plan to have a funeral service.
“I feel like my heart broke telling my children,” says Michelle. “They have all been so excited about this baby and looking forward to April coming around and having a new little one in our arms. That was the most difficult. The Lord is the giver of life and he can choose when that life is ready to go on and be with Him.”
The stars of TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting previously weathered a medical ordeal with their youngest daughter, Josie, who was born in December 2009.
This was their second miscarriage; Michelle lost her baby during her second pregnancy. She was taking oral birth control at the time and cites this as one reason the couple together decided to leave the number of children they have “up to God.”
[From People]
Michelle and Jim-Bob started having babies just about every year after she suffered a miscarriage while taking birth control. At that point they “decided to allow God to determine the number of children” they would have. I’ll kind of leave it there. It’s always very sad when someone suffers a miscarriage. Condolences to Michelle and the family.
I guess its one less child that the older ones will have to care for.
That’s a bit harsh.
I’m sorry that their baby died. You know that a lot of people were thinking that, though, since the older ones have to raise the younger ones so that she and he can go on creating more.
Condolences to them. <3
I don’t think its harsh at all lilibet, in fact the poster was quite nice. I wouldn’t be so tactful. It is beyond selfish having that many children because the oldest children are the ones who do the parenting. The oldest children who had no say in their birth are the ones who are left to look after the younger ones and forgo a social life. It robs them of their life. Michelle is selfish beyond belief and I know it would definitely be a relief to the overworked older ‘parents’ (children). It is so so wrong, and so so very selfish to do this to older children because THEY pay for their *parents choices*. They become nothing but cheap labor for the younger ones. It makes me so mad and I could go on and on, the poster was far too nice I’ll end with that.
That is a horrible thing to say about such a loving and wonderful family. They are good people who actually raise their children with love and teach them respect for themselves and for one another. Very balanced and smart and well behaved children. You will never see them planted in front of a tv or a Nintendo….they are playing and learning and surrounded by people who love them and influence them in a wonderful and positive way. A lot more than can be said for many other parents of much smaller families that can’t seem to handle a couple of children.
I’m not sure I like the wording “They have all been so excited about this baby and looking forward to April coming around and having a new little one in our arms.”
I bet that is not the “whole truth” of the reality in this situation.
I feel badly for her in the way that it is unfortunate to lose a child. Other than that, she needs to take a serious scientific look at what these pregnancies can do to their family. She’s nearly died before.
I don’t believe we have the reality of the situation, either. People keep saying she was 20 weeks along, but I haven’t seen them say it. Honestly, I think it was like her 13th week or something and she had a miscarriage. Now ordinarily, I’d feel sympathy for anyone, but I just think that they’re being cagey about the dates in order to make it seem like she was farther along. I don’t believe they waited til 12 weeks to announce; I am open to being corrected on that.
As an older mother, the doctors take endless tests and ultrasounds on you (been there, done that). The first thing they do is to check for downs syndrome and that involves an ultrasound and blood draw. You would also have to sit through numerous ultrasounds and heartbeat tests – in her case after the preeclampsia they would have put her on that.
So yes, I believe there is more to this story than what they are letting on.
The ultrasound where the doctor looks at the organs and is able to determine the sex is the 20 week ultrasound, so it makes sense that she was that far along if they were going to find out the sex.
I attended a funeral for a baby who died in utero at 22 weeks. One lady carried in the casket. It is horrible. Prayers to the Duggar family.
Um, I’m confused. The doctor told them at the appointment that there was no heartbeat, and that she had miscarried. When did the miscarriage happen? And why didn’t the Duggars know? I think you’d be aware if you miscarried a 2nd trimester pregnancy….
You can miscarry anytime and unless the baby is big enough to feel moving, you would have no clue that the baby died if the fetus is not expelled from the uterus(sorry to be graphic).
In this case the heart stopped beating so she had no idea. I think at this stage she probably had to undergo actual labor. I may be mistaken but I think that’s how it works.
This is sad. I think she should stop now. Having 19 kids should be enough. Losing a baby I can imagine must be extremely heartbreaking. She has grandkids now that she can focus on.
no, a fetal death doesn’t cause the mother to go into labor. In this case, since the doctor notified them of the fetal death (she didn’t go into pre term labor), she’d have to have a D & E to remove the baby
Anything over 20 weeks is a stillbirth anything under 20 weeks is a miscarraige. Last year at 35 weeks, my baby’s heart stopped beating and I had to deliver my sleeping daughter. Losing a child no matter what stage of pregnancy is hard. Nobody should ever have to bury a child, never!
Yes, that is some strange wording. A “miscarriage” involves the body expelling a fetus. A second trimester-sized fetus would be large enough to cause notice — whereas a first trimester miscarriage can be mistaken for a very heavy period (in a way, that’s exactly what it is). This sounds more like in-utero death. Like Mrs. Duggar is still carrying the deceased fetus in her body, which hasn’t yet gotten the message to expel.
Ug, I feel sad after typing that. Regardless of how irresponsible and frankly insane I think these people are, I feel sad for them. I hope they will take stock of the beautiful, living children that they do have, and realize that “God” has given them enough.
Loss of a fetus after 20 weeks is technically called a stillbirth, maybe they called it a miscarriage because the fetus measured less than 20 weeks and wasn’t alive during the 20 week check up? My mom had 5 miscarriages and a stillbirth (at 24 weeks). The doctors performed D&E’s for the miscarriages; which involves dilating the cervix, then removing the contents of the uterus via suction and curettage.
Mort, that is so sad. Your mom must be an incredibly tough and resilient woman to go through all of that.
@MJ, she is. My dad once told me that, a couple months after one of the miscarriages, they were doing some kind of exploratory exam and discovered she was pregnant again. However, whatever they were doing induced miscarriage. The OB had to inform her that she lost the baby she didn’t know she was carrying due to the procedure. All in all, It took her 11 years to have me but she never gave up.
Morticians: My mom had a similar story. Four 2nd trimester miscarriages. Docs told her she’d die if she had another pregnancy. Her next preg was little me and she held on. Barely. I was a premature and she hemorrhaged so badly she flatlined and had to be “brought back”. But we made it! Tough lady.
@Trillion, omg! That is terrifying, but think of where we’d be if our mothers had listened to the doctors that told them they shouldn’t/wouldn’t have children.
For those of you who were saying this sounded suspicious, and that she would have noticed, etc…I can tell you first hand that you don’t necessarily notice. I had this exact same thing happen to me. I was in my 2nd trimester, shy of 20 weeks, but went in for the ultrasound to determine sex, only to find out the baby had died. Words can’t explain how horrible that feels!!! Devastating doesn’t even begin to describe it. And knowing you are carrying a dead child inside you is difficult as well. I was sent home and told if I didn’t go into labor in a few days, I would need a D&C….I went into labor about 48 hours later, and birthed our angel-daughter Mia at home. Labor/birth is difficult enough when you are excited and looking forward to meeting your living baby….it is emotionally and physically awful knowing you are delivering a baby that has already died. My heart breaks for them. I hope the public will cut them some slack and keep any negative opinions to themselves because now is NOT the time!!!
When my baby had passed at nearly 20 weeks in utero, it was called a miscarriage. The night before I found out I was having what felt like some of the worst gas in the entire world, woke up to a bit of blood in the toilet early the next morning and lost my mind. Went to the ER, had an ultrasound to be told he was gone but my body had yet to go into labor to “dispose of the fetus.” I was then sent home and told if my body didn’t go into labor within the next 3 days, to come back to have a D&C because there would be risks of infection. The next day I went into labor and lost him at home. There was lots of blood and I was so scared and had no idea what to do, my partner at the time was just as scared. I went to another ER where I was told my uterus wasn’t doing something properly and wouldn’t stop bleeding because of it and had to have an emergency D&C. I don’t know why I’m typing all of this, I feel like I have to let it go, though.
Yes, it was called a miscarriage. It was devastating and truly life altering.
This story bothers me, bothers me to the core. I feel like her need to get pregnant outweighed the pros and cons of her doing so, like she was so desperate to have another child, that she didn’t care to factor in the risks to herself or the child. Using God as an excuse is just horrible. I’m so upset that this happened to her, I am when it happens to anyone, but I just wish she would have f*cking looked at science and reality before this. I feel like to her that losing a baby was worth the baby or her dying, and the baby did die. I’m so disturbed by it I can barely put words together, maybe I will try to explain more later.
Derpy, I am so sorry for your loss. I’m afraid I don’t have any words of wisdom…just condolences for you.
Derpy I am so, so sorry for all you lost and endured. I hope you have found something like peace after that horror.
Derpy,
My deepest sympathies. There’s not much else to say because you’ve stated my feelings about this latest pregnancy perfectly.
Derpy, I’m so sorry for your pain and lost. That sounds horrible. I too think that Michelle continues to take chances with her health and pregnancy by CHOICE. There is no need for her to keep getting pregnant after she has been gifted with so many children. Those children need her more than any potential new children.
Derpy, your words are perfectly cogent and compassionate. I’m so sorry for your loss and I also wish that people like the Duggars would accept that scientific knowledge is a God given gift as well.
@derpy @itsjustmel, my sincerest sympathies and thank you for sharing your very difficult experiences.
She can’t keep putting her body through this year after year. It’s not healthy for her, it’s not fair to the rest of the family, and it’s quite frankly selfish. With the last baby being dangerously premature, and this one dying in utero, it’s time to shut down the factory.
As sad as this is, I hope she’ll take this as the sign from God to stop…
My thoughts exactly. But unfortunately I doubt it.
She wont. I can already see the headline now on People, “We’re not going to give up trying”.
My heart aches that they have to go through this, but it makes me so much sadder that this very well might not be the last time.
But then what interesting “big events” could they promote their show with???
Blech.
You worded your statement perfectly. It may seem insensitive but it is exactly what she needs to do.”Shut down the factory”. She was basically manufacturing babies. Now she has her oldest son married off, she can have a steady flow of baby grandchildren to mother instead.
I’m wondering if she has some need to be pregnant. If so then the grandbabies won’t cut it.
But she is not the one who mothers these babies the older childern are!! It is sad that anybody loses a baby but I hope to “God” that this nonsense ends!
But she wouldn’t be the one giving birth and getting attention. I’m sorry what she is doing IS selfish in relation to her family. She has reached this point where her entire purpose in life is having babies. Without that she will lose her identity. Sad but true.
Insensitivity isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and I’ve yet to meet or hear from a single person (sane or otherwise) who would hold a cocktail party to celebrate the enervating trauma of miscarriage/stillbirth. I don’t understand or agree with pretty much anything this family does, but I’m not a monster and neither are the other people who share my view. The fact that we preface our opinions with a hearty dose of humanity–even if it’s tinged with cynicism–proves that, I’d say.
I’m not saying some papparazzo has to hunt her down and do something overly cruel like put up a Uterus Fail sign in front of her home, but something always has to give. Do you really want to be the one who wakes up the sleepwalker? Nope, but you have to prevent him from strolling into traffic or experiencing some kind of Ambien freakout. For all the love in the world, at some point, the parents were procreating against better medical judgement (and possibly personal, to a degree), so when the external forebodings didn’t have the desired effect, it fell upon God, it fell upon her own body to stop the presses. It’s sad, but inevitabilities are infrequently paired with unfettered glee.
Wakeup calls aren’t meant to be empathetic, they’re meant to be effective. That’s just how it goes, sometimes. I hope they take the medicine from this experience and become content with what they have–which is a whole hell of a lot and to my mind passed into greed a while ago, but I digress–and let’s hope Jim leaves her the flip alone for like, two freaking seconds and their their kids are given the right to put their relentless smile muscles to bed for a bit.
Maybe he should grow his own cervix if the crusade is so bloody paramount. I’m sure he wouldn’t last half as long if the only reason he ever to lay down was so some dude could put a baby in him.
God to Michelle Duggar – “Can you hear me now??!!”
I do truly feel bad for women who lose a baby and those that cannot get pregnant, but this is a woman that pops out babies like she is a factory, without any regard for the rest of her children. At some point she has to realize that just because she “can” get pregnant, doesn’t mean she should.
Am I allowed to write that her hair looks infinitely better than it has in the past?
First thing I noticed.
She hasn’t changed it one iota. It’s still permed everywhere but on the bangs.
It looks way better now. It’s smoothed out and she finally lost the chola-wind-block bangs.
Why are we still talking about this nut job family? Please make them go away….and take Rick Perry with them.
don’t forget, gays serving in the military is much worse than celebrating a religious holiday in public school.
ummm…separation of church and state? how about just not being a royal asshat and discriminating against people because of who they choose to spend their life with? UGH PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD.
Perry is a monster, without a doubt.
I also wanted to say that I honestly DO think these people should be able to live their lives how they wish-because ultimately it doesn’t affect me one way or the other what they do. My issue is more that they have a television show that essentially promotes this shit, whether that is the intention or not. It’s not like they’re off in the woods, quietly living their lives in private. So yeah, just like the Kardashian Clan seems to promote a superficial, vapid life of excess and insipid nonsense-these people do the same-different topics, but still upsetting to people. Different lifestyle but same shit. That being said, for the sake of full disclosure-I don’t watch either show because I choose not to support people who make money off of exploiting their family. I do read Celebitchy though and find the commentary pretty enlightening…
I don’t know, I think I have to respectfully disagree. Having 20 kids is just irresponsible when you consider the world’s population and our inability at some point to sustain it. Scary thought but I’m afraid it’s true.
Azurea,
No you are not always aware of a miscarriage. A baby can die in the womb and remain in place with no sign that something is wrong.
While I do feel sad for anyone who miscarrys, Ms. Duggar has to know that her uterus is not meant to bear 20 children and be cut open multiple multiple times. At her age, and with her history of preeclampsia, Id be very surprised if she carried to term again.
If the baby is still in the womb, she has not miscarried. She will have to actually be induced & give birth to the fetus. This is usually done by the means of a saline abortion.
I’m well aware of how it works since it happened to my sister.
At the same appointment as Ms. Duggar. In the same week of pregnancy.
It’s still called a miscarriage even though it requires a D&C.
There are different ‘types’ of miscarriages. One doesn’t have to expel the fetus for it to be considered one.
From the library of medicine
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002458/
D&C (dilation and curettage) can be suction and/or scraping. That is what we use for first trimester and some early 2nd trimester losses.
D&E (dilation and extraction) is used for 2nd trimester losses where bones are formed. It’s more difficult technically than a simple D&C.
I wasn’t aware of the difference between d&c’s and d&e’s, so I looked it up. I thought they were used interchangeably, but apparently not. My mom apparently had both d&c’s and a d&e
@Morticians: I can’t imagine what your mother went thru. 🙁 What an incredibly tough woman she must be to have survived losing so many babies.
A co-worker of mine just went thru exactly the same thing–went into her 20 week appointment to have an ultrasound thinking they were going to find out if they were having a boy or girl and found out that their fetus had died instead (she had to have a d&c a couple days later). I can’t even imagine going from such excitement to devastation like that.
Losing a child at all is devastating, but I do hope that the Duggars’ finally realize that just maybe it’s time to stop instead of potentially putting their entire family thru this kind of thing again. Be grateful for the children you ALREADY have instead of continuing to risk your life for the ones you COULD have.
@scarlet, so sad for all the women who lose babies. I’ve struggled with infertility, but was lucky enough to have two healthy boys (with the help of clomid). I consider myself lucky that I didn’t have to suffer through what my mother and other women have because I don’t know if I could handle it with the grace and courage that they’ve demonstrated. I’ll keep your friend in my thoughts and I hope she goes on to have a healthy baby at some point in the near future.
I am sorry for the Duggars and with their Faith they surely must know this was God’s will. I believe they do have love in their hearts for more children and so why not adopt at this stage? There are plenty of children out there who need loving homes which this couple can provide. I believe with God having sent her this message that attempts to bear further children should be curtailed and they should look to those out there around the world who need a loving home.
Thats what I dont understand about them. They love God, and part of faith is charity-so why not adopt….Their ways are selfish to me. I would have more respect for them if they took in 50 children instead of trying to give birth to 80.
But that won’t sell on TLC.
I disagree-I think it would be a huge boost for ratings. e.g. Look how kind the duggars are! They are opening up their home to orphans!
Not necessarily true. When I was growing up PBS documented this family (for the life of me I cannot remember their names, it was De something. DeVoigt?). They had their own children and adopted a lot of other children with special needs or were refugees.
It made for interesting tv. Sure it’s not messy like what the reality shows have now but it was a good show.
I don’t believe that you or I are qualified to tell them what God is telling them to do. Allow them the opportunity to have their own conversation with God. Each one of is called to do something different, whether or not we agree with them.
Agreed!
Nobody should tell anybody else how to live, but it’s pretty clear that God is throwing bricks at them trying to get them to listen to Him and stop the mass production.
Because there’s a chance that adopted babies wouldn’t be WASPs. It isn’t as if the babies of the moment are flying off the shelves with the general public, either. It either has to look exactly like you and be four months old, or come from trendy adoption spots, before it was China it was Romania. A lot a gay couples or single gay individuals try to reach out to these kids who are pretty much considered urban leftovers by everyone else, but since there are so many barriers preventing that, it’s clear that if legislation X or agency Y doesn’t think you’re good enough to deserve it, you aren’t allowed to give or receive love. So we all benefit. If you think that this movement is predicated upon expanding the membership of the Lord’s Army to include all of His children and not just the super-special white ones who could be dropped into a Lawrence Welk performance at the drop of a hat, come along with no baggage or need to know how their hair works or have any special needs issues, well… I can sympathize for the loss, but I do have the brain cells required to recognize their mindset’s darker purpose, so to speak. Really now, do you want our brave new well to be comprised with taint of lower stock? Keep smiling, if no one acknowledges it it doesn’t exist, right? Now there’s an Arcadia: today for eternity only, ladies are free to get banged or get double bangs…it’s wide open.
In my Heaven, Kody’s directing a buddy comedy in which a persecuted man if forced to leave his home–because of intolerance–and relocate to Nevada under the auspices of being surfer instructors, or whatever. They are just catnip to the female element over there (which, due to regional dialect is called ‘pus– ah, ha!) As script editor, I’m sorry to relate that we’re a little behind schedule, since the man in charge is preoccupied a lot of behind–for peace and Jesus, ahem. But, you’ll be happy to know that I’ve come up with a tagline for this as of now untitled romantic tolerance comedy project:
Brigham Young Or Bring ’em Old, Just Bring It!!
Crud, someone’s all up in the pregnant, again. New wife ‘Bro-sephone’? We’ll resume in 2016.
About time God did something about that. She has already well enough kids.
Oh snap
I don’t believe in the same god they do, but my gods tell me they need to start listening to body of life they have.
Life, to me, is about what you have, not coveting that which you have not.
I like that sentiment. It’s pretty awesome.
This won’t stop them. Nothing short of menopause will stop them. They’re too far down this reality TV road to turn back. God “took” this one and will “give” them another pregnancy. Just watch. Which is exactly the point, isn’t it?
this woman will keep going till she dies giving birth, i am afraid
I am having mixed feelings on this. When I first saw the story, I felt no surprise, and although I do feel empathy for the feelings and circumstances that she has to go through, I don’t feel sorry for her or her family.
As harsh as this sounds, I feel no pity for her or her man. They’re making stupid decisions on another persons chance at life in the name of their god.
The only empathy I feel at all is for what that baby may have been and for the sadness her kids must feel.
I really don’t feel bad for them, either. The last kid almost died. Will Michelle have to die before they get the hint to stop trying for more kids to exploit?
I’ll save my sympathy for people who don’t have babies just to have them, and then foist them off on their older siblings, and for people who aren’t able to carry pregnancies to term or conceive at all.
This is exactly how I feel.
/ducks
Why are these hypocritical whackjobs sad again? According to their own “logic” (snort), this was “God’s way of determining the number of children they should have.” Or is it only “God’s way” when you get what you want? Ugh.
Totally agree!
Hmmm. Valid point.
I know it is sad having a miscarriage that far along into the pregnancy but I think in some twisted way this family is just as bad as the Kardashians, using their kids for the sake of a show
Oh yes! I totally agree.
They’re disgusting. Just because their kids are (for now) polite and well mannered, doesn’t mean they’re not sleazeballs for exploiting their family for money on a stupid reality show.
I really don’t mind the Duggars at all. I think they live their truth, not mine, not yours but theirs. Unlike other families that are on television I believe their kids are the most real and certainly the most happy. And television and the opportunities it has afforded them have NOT changed them much since day one. I like that. I do believe that this was nature’s way of telling Michelle that the time to have babies has passed her by, her body needs a rest for heaven’s sake. Again, this family could be very entitled and snobbish like other so called reality families Gosselins and the Kartrashians come to mind, but they aren’t, they have remained true to who they are. So condolences to the Duggars on their loss, it can’t be easy no matter how many children are already there.
Will someone please go kick “Jim-Bob” in the nuts……it’s God’s way.
AMEN!
um if she was passed 20 weeks which she was it’s a still born or will be not a miscarriage the family spokesperson gave incorrrect terminology to try and give them privacy to grieve and it’s not Michelle’s first pregnancy loss she miscarried between their oldest son Joshua and their first set of twins Jana & John David because she didn’t stop taking Birth Control in time My heart goes out to them no parents ever deserve to lose a child at any stage
Not if it can be determined that the fetal death actually occurred prior to 20 weeks, then it is still a miscarriage, not a stillbirth. It’s doubtful the fetus actually died at her 20-week appointment, likely several days or a week or more prior. So the terminology used is absolutely correct, it was a late miscarriage.
The fetus died before the appointment which could have been a few weeks ago. It’s a miscarriage. The fetus wouldn’t have been developed enough to be a still born.
God steps in.
I too suffered a miscarriage nearly into my second trimester and it was 2 weeks before Christmas. I had no idea and only found out when the doctor couldn’t find the heartbeat. It required a D&C and it was one of the most emotionally painful experiences of my life. I wouldn’t wish the loss of a child on anyone.
That being said, I do hope Michelle & Jim Bob do some serious praying and come to the conclusion this was God’s way of telling them it’s time to stop, enjoy the children they already have as well as the grandchildren that have joined the family and the ones to come.
So sorry for your loss and I sincerely hope you go on to have as many healthy pregnancies as you wish. Thank you for sharing your story and be well.
If you don’t like the family -don’t watch the show. If you don’t like their values, beliefs or way they are running their lives – guess what we are Americans and that is what our country is built on – Freedom of Choice. You choose your life let them chose theirs. Loss of a child is sad whether for a family of 19 or a family of none.
Sorry, but anybody who profits off of a reality TV show opens themselves up for criticism-this family is no exception. Interesting you should reference *freedom* in your post. Yes, they have the freedom to have dozens of children, as we have the freedom to criticize them for a lifestyle that appears cruel to many. Maybe you are familiar with the First Amendment? Commenters here are exercising free speech-if you don’t like what they have to say, perhaps you should take your own advice and just not read the comments?
This type of loss is sad – Michelle and Jimbob have the freedom to keep trying to have more babies; however their kids don’t seem to have been given the freedom to have lives outside of their parents religion and the responsibilities of raising their siblings.
I’m not a fan of this family at all, but this is still sad. Miscarriage is just a sad thing. The rest of it is things most of us always say or think about them, but still..losing a baby is just heartbreaking.
Right. I don’t agree with their whole God’s-plan-for-a-million-babies worldview, but this is very sad regardless.
terrible tragedy for any woman, BUT maybe God is telling them to stop!! last baby was sickly, now this, take the hint and close the legs or get a vasectomy!!!!
“take the hint and close the legs or get a vasectomy!!!!” Has the husband ever explained why he didn’t get a vasectomy?
““decided to allow God to determine the number of children” they would have. I’ll kind of leave it there. ”
…the implications of this are unpleasant, So I don’t blame you. But Mrs. Duggar is okay, so that’s good
Miscarriage is terrible. It is awful and sad & after my little boy, I can say unequivocally say that I’d be devastated in a way I couldn’t imagine before I had kids. I would love to have a million more. I would NOT however continue to test the strength of my body and the will of God to continue procreating far beyond a point that is medically advisable. She barely got through the pregnancy and birth of her last child. God is telling you to stop. What happens to the other 19 children when she dies as a complication of the 20th? I think it it reckless not to think of all of the other children versus the “will of God.” She knows her body cannot support another pregnancy, yet they continue. Damn it, Jim Bob, put a condom on it.
I think plenty of women without kids, those who want them and can’t have them, those who have suffered the loss of a much-wanted pregnancy and don’t have other kids, can understand perfectly well and perhaps more acutely than does a mother of 19, the pain of losing a baby in utero.
“The Lord is the giver of life, and he can choose when that life is ready to go on and be with Him.”
Then please explain to me, Michelle, why you didn’t let Him take care of little Josie with whatever plan he had, and instead you decided to keep her in the hospital so doctors and medical science could keep her alive? You can’t say one thing then turn around and do just the opposite, it makes you look like a hypocrite.
I’m very sorry for the loss of this baby, it’s truly agonizing I’m sure, but maybe this is a sign from above to stop.
There are plenty of reasons to criticize what the Duggars believe, but this one makes no sense. They have never said they don’t believe in medical treatments. Trying to save a sickly child from dying is not the same thing as having a miscarriage/stillbirth.
What she said is a platitude that many people say when faced with tragedy. This is a tragedy, it doesn’t matter how many children she already has. This was a wanted child, a hoped for child. It is now dead. Period.
Refusing medical help for a child would have been hypocritical. In any context, religious or not, it would be a complete disregard for human life.
Being born prematurely isn’t a sign of not being meant to be here. If it was, I would have died despite hospital efforts, too.
I can empathise but I can’t find much sympathy. I have a hard time that even she’s that delusional to go with the God factor. She must want to be pregnant on some level because I believe with a little restraint it would be really easy to take steps to ensure no pregnancy. Though obviously her husband is too hard to resist for a couple of nights in a row 🙂
If only she could understand the hints “God” is sending now, first a premie and now a late miscarriage. Time to hang up the stirrups.
Look people! It’s not your body it’s hers, why are you so worried about someone other than yourself?? She can do whatever she wants to HER body, and have as many kids as she wants. They are good ppl, mind your own business and let them mourn the loss of their child without all the negative feedback. God bless you Duggars! Many prayers sent your way!
It’s not just a matter of “her body”. This earth is already way overpopulated. I’m all for having a family, but 20 children is ridiculous. It all appears to be the result of selfishness and perhaps some kind of mental illness. She doesn’t seem to take care of her younger children, she has the older ones do it. Shame on them. Take care of the ones you already have, Duggars, and stop putting a strain on them in the name of your own notoriety.
Because they have decided to make it OUR business by having a t.v. show with every part of their personal life exposed. What did Daniel Craig say: you can’t have the cameras showing your births then ask for privacy later. Second people like them also like telling other women who use birthcontrol or have abortions that it’s THEIR business to dictate what they should do with their body. The show is never pretty on the other foot. No woman likes any one telling when what to do with her uterus whether it’s abortions or making multiple babies. In this situation we are talking about danger to the health of this woman and any babies she is trying to make.
I’m pretty sure she knows all the risks she doesn’t need to hear it from anyone else. Since when is having lots of children a danger? Wether You have 1 child or 20 there can always be risks. And you NEVEr see them judge other ppl for their beliefs, why judge them?
While I would normally agree with you about it being her decision and her business, the dynamics change when older kids have to take care of the younger ones, and when she put her life on display.
The older children certainly didn’t get to have a say in her decision. And I guess the only say we get to make is to not watch their show.
And what do you think will happen if she dies from another pregnancy because it is HER body and HER decision?
Let’s hope menopause sets in soon. She will most likely try again even after this.
I feel bad for the family, but she really needs to shut down the baby mill before she endangers her health any more.
I’m with some others on this in that while I feel this is sad news, it isn’t unexpected. I think when she announced this pregnancy I posted here predicting that she wasn’t done with pregnancies, but she may not successfully have any more kids.
I feel sorry for their loss, especially for their kids, who aren’t responsible for the amount of risk-taking that is going on. Jim and Michelle, not so much. I feel sorry for them but they kind of piss me off at the same time!!
I’m no fan of this family, and I only watch their show when nothing else is on. But I am sad for them, a loss is a loss whether it’s your first pregnancy or your 20th pregnancy. My condolences
Nature is putting a stop to these ridiculous people, since they won’t stop themselves. It’s a sickness, apparently.
“Damn it, Jim Bob, put a condom on it.”
Exactly. I also question how much choice Michelle has in her reproduction. Aren’t these quiverfull women “helpmeets” and basically at the beck and call of the man? Isn’t he supposed to protect them in return?
Protection, buddy. Get some.
Didn’t her last pregnancy almost kill her, and/or the baby? Don’t they believe that sometimes God gives people signs? What kind of parents would try for a 20th child because they “couldn’t stop on an odd number”? And what kind of mother is willing to literally DIE to have that 20th child, leaving 19 other child without a mother, including the premature 19th child who is still very young?
I think either (1) they need mental help. The hoard babies like crazy people hoard cats. Or (2) they continue to add to an already over-populated world for tv ratings. Or possible a combination.
I’m sorry she lost the baby. But would have been better if she died instead, which after her last scare she said she’s willing to do? What about the other kids?
They’re sick.
Well, if she doesn’t understand now that she’s going against ‘G-d’s will’, I imagine that makes her a major sinner.
I feel badly for all their kids and potential kids.
There’s also something sick about a person willing to commit suicide by baby.
You’re right. I forgot that one of the reasons they wanted another baby was because they wanted an even number of babies and that she said she wouldn’t mind dying to make sure of that.
That just shows how selfish they are and how they think of their kids as collectible items instead of human beings with feelings and needs – they need SANE parents.
Given how they think about having kids, they shouldn’t have given names to their kids, instead they should have tattoo’d numbers on their heads.
And on the 8th day God said, “Thy should not use thy uterus as a clown car.”
I feel sorry for the family but I’m not in the least bit surprised. If they began having so many children due to a miscarriage, maybe they’ll take this one as a sign to STOP ALREADY.
Part of me wonders if there isn’t something psychologically wrong with her, aside from the whole “Quiverfull” thing. It’s like she NEEDS to be pregnant. Once the kids are out they don’t seem to be the “point”– they get handed off to the older kids.
“And on the 8th day God said, “Thy should not use thy uterus as a clown car.””
Amen.
I’m sorry she lost the baby, but miscarriage is a natural common occurence and she’s been warned that at this point getting pregnant is a stupid thing to do, both for her and the child. If these people really believe their god is making this happen, this would be the time to finally get a clue. The world is full of 7 billion human people already. Stop using your religion as an excuse to be selfish, reality t.v. famewhores.
I know that this family is controversial and everything, but when a miscarriage occurs it’s nice to respect their suffering and avoid bashing them.
I think you handled this very well CB. Good for you.
My thoughts go out to them. But I can’t help but think that is nature’s way of telling her that she has put her body through enough childbirth.
Although I do feel sorry for her, I think she is totally tempting fate, especially with all the problems she had during her last pregnancy. Her doctor is nuts if he/she hasn’t advised her NOT to get pregnant again.
When you get preclampsia and they have to do an emergency c-section, it’s a serious thing. That should have been it, but instead, she got pregnant again. C r A z Y!!! Unfortunately, I don’t think they will accept this as a wake up call or sign from God that they should stop. I don’t think Mr. Duggar wants to be Mr. Mom and it’s not fair that the other kids should be either, so I hope they get a clue and stop now. It’s her son and daughter-in-law’s time to have kids, NOT hers and she needs to accept it. She needs to mother the kids she’s already got.
The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.
Stop Procreating!
Its awful to lose a baby but there is a reason it happens. Maybe the Duggards should take it as a sign from their God that he doesn’t want them to have any more babies!
I’m sorry I have a real hard time being sympathetic with them.
Youre a bad person. I had an 18 week loss when I was 23 years old. First baby of mine and I was perfectly healthy. Do you think God was telling me to “stop having babies”? I’m sickened by your insensitivity.
I’ve had five miscarriages. One was actually after we saw a heartbeat, but all were in the first trimester, and The grief was almost more than I could bear. I cannot imagine the pain she is feeling. I’m glad they are having a funeral- it’s important to memorialize their loss.
My deepest sympathy. I hope you go on to have as many healthy pregnancies as you choose (if you choose to do so at all). Be well.
Thank you so much. I have now been lucky enough to have TWO boys. I went through lots of treatment with a reproductive immunologist. I still can’t believe I’m blessed enough to have two. Thank you again.
And I just read your earlier posts. Your story – your mom’s – is remarkable and heartbreaking. Before I found my reproductive immunologist, the reproductive endocrinologist just told us to keep trying, that nothing was wrong, since I could get pregnant. Thank the gods I didn’t listen to him.
Im so glad to hear you were finally able to have two healthy babies! Like you said, Drs sometimes give up when they don’t have the answer. So it was smart of you to take matters into your own hands and seek out the immunologist.
I truly think miscarriage is a terrible thing. But at the same time I hope she takes this a sign that her body cannot handle having any more babies.
Yes. I feel badly for her and family. But this is probably Gds way of telling her to close the baby factory.
Time to put the womb away Duggars – Mother Nature knows best.
Maybe Michelle will FINALLY listen to what God is saying to her and stop pushing her luck?
I gave birth prematurely in the 25th week (placenta abruption), nearly bled to death and my child was 1 lbs, 10 onz.. 1 point in the Apgar scale, close to death. I did not dare to get pregnant again for another 6 years after this trauma. My daughter is an adult now and perfectly fine but she needed A LOT of care and attention as a child (the second child was fine, full term). Same thing with little Josie.. The Duggars should be concentrating on her and other kids (who, no doubt, got little attention during Josie’s hospital stay) instead of getting pregnant again. I’m sorry for their loss but listen to what God and your body is telling you, Michelle!
Wow, it’s really rare for Apgar 1 babies to survive at all, much less without disability. I was a 2, and had a rough first year.
yes, when she was born, she had a very slow heartbeat.. got 1 point for that but I was sure the child was dead :(. After a few minutes the medical team got her to 4 points. The fact that she has no lasting damage is amazing but we went through a lot of ups and downs before we were sure she was fine. She just graduated from college in London. 🙂
I don’t care that it’s the crazy Duggars – it’s still horrible. To lose a baby at 5 months along is devestating.
Sad story but seriously woman…..STOP
I’m with the whole sad it happened but this is probably her God’s way of telling her she’s had too many as is.
However let’s be real here. If she died Jim Bob would probably go out and find some younger woman to have 19 more kids with. These people are part of that “quiver” movement aren’t they?
That’s just sad. I can’t imagine what people go through when they lose a baby after the three “scary” months are over. You think you’ll be fine and then the doctor pours that news over you when you are anxiously awaiting the hearbeat. Arrrh, shivers down my spine…
I detest the way they live their life, but this is still sad news.
Exactly. I was trying to find the respectful way to say that. I really hope that mother nature strikes soon and the woman reaches menopause already.
My sincerest sympathy to all of you on this thread who have gone through this, or whose mother, sister or other loved one has. I am not going to minimize the devastation Michelle Duggar must feel – but I hope to God that she stops putting herself AND HER FAMILY through this kind of emotional wringer. Enjoy the children you have – why aren’t they ENOUGH for you?!
As creepy and disgusting as I find this family, I’m very sorry to hear she miscarried, particularly at this stage. I’ve suffered a miscarriage before, and though mine was earlier than hers, the loss is still one I can identify and understand.
Condolences and good energy to the family in their time of loss.
So sorry for your loss as well.
This is sad and I feel bad for them but she’ll be pregnant again by June and making an announcement next summer.
MARK MY WORDS!!!!
I don’t like how the Duggars put God on the spot for whatever messed-up thing they do to their kids. This is the 2nd baby they put in harm’s way (if not counting the 1st miscarriage). The previous baby was born with all sorts of ailments. Do the Duggars even realize what the pain of that must feel like for baby? And now this baby went thru the pain of dying! And yet, the Duggars with their selfishness couldn’t give a damn about how both their babies and their other 100 children feel?
Maybe instead of being so unsympathetic towards the feelings of their kids, they should start considering what’s best for their kids, born & unborn. Maybe they should stop getting pregnant just to make themselves better. Maybe they should stop putting the responsibility on God and start accepting responsibility for their own decisions!
Idiots! I really think the Duggars think of their kids as objects rather than as equals in being as human as themselves.
These people don’t believe in abortions because they say it’s against God, but with their high risk pregnancies, her getting pregnant again is nothing but essentially an abortion in her stomach!
She’s going to give birth to her own uterus if she keeps this up. Either that or a white flag asking for surrender and mercy.
funny how people like to use the word choice and reproductive rights when they want people to leave them alone about aborting a baby, but when someone CHOOSES to continue to have children who are responsible and well behaved and NOT a drain on society, the public is “outraged”. ridiculous that any of you would take a time that is heartbreaking and use it to criticize this family.
I agree with you completely that being pro-choice should mean that Michelle Duggar has every right to have as many babies that she wants and I feel for her loss. It is terrible to lose a child through miscarriage or still birth. However, she seems to be almost hell bent on having more children regardless of the fact that at her advanced reproductive age, she is taking a great risk for her child and herself. She almost dies having Josie and Josie almost died as well because of her Mother’s health. Having a large family is one thing, being a pregnancy martyr is another. She has repeatedly said she is willing to lay down her life for another pregnancy. She already has 19 children including several toddlers. Surely they are worth staying alive for. Recklessly risking the life God gave you doesn’t make much sense from someone who claims to be pro-life. It should include her own life as well.
the children are not born all nice and well behaved, she is their mother, she should be with them, educate them, nurture and love them, not trying at all costs having another and another child because the factory will be open until it breaks down… I somehow can see them/her taking progesterone and others to keep her hi risk pregnancies (at her age they are, despite having been a mom already)
I know a bit, I have tried for years to have at least one, and trust me, in my case, if I had already one, I would not risk my life and leave him/han orphan, because I know what is to be an orphan.
She might not feel that their children will be left alone, since they have a buch of sisters that will take care of the younger ones , to me, that is very, very selfish. She is the mother, and even when the children are adults, they need their mother too.
How old are the younger ones, and the little one with special needs? selfish, selfish.
My heart goes out to you. *big hug*
´tnx spinner. I saw a dear friend losther 2 girl before term, it is appalling, the tiny caskets, both of them had to be in special units in the hospitals since they were so little. She wouldn’t dare get pregnant again fear of making the babies suffer and risk her life too, in the process.
ilse, I agree with you completely. When I went through the trauma of premature birth (described above) and both of us survived, I didn’t want to push my luck and endanger myself as well as neglect my fragile infant by getting pregnant again so quickly. I think that Michelle is plain irresponsible and selfish, possibly addicted to being pregnant.
Look, I’m a feminist and I’m pretty committed to women’s reproductive freedom, and to the right of all women to exercise control over their own bodies and reproductive practices.
But just as we commonly criticize women who have more than one abortion, or are perceived as being irresponsible (the accusation that some woman is using abortion as birth control, etc.), it is not out of the ordinary for a woman like Michelle Duggar to get flak for her reproductive choices.
Will I fight to the death for her right to have reproductive freedom? Hell yeah. Will I fight to the death to educate anyone I can about the damaging and negative consequences (both for her and for her older daughters who are condemned to a life of servitude and religious brainwashing) of her shit-tastic choices? Why, yes. Yes I will.
This is one of the times when Celebitchy is more that just a gossip blog.It can also be a place where people could relate not only to the story but also to one another.Even though sympathies at the time of such loss and sadness may seem empty I would like to say from the bottom of my heart that I truly am sorry for what you and you family have experienced and I thank you for sharing something so personal.
She’s so close to menopause age I doubt her hormones are stable enough to nuture a baby to term. Usually the FSG count is low by that age and while she can keep getting pregnant she won’t have the right hormone levels to maintain the pregnancy. I imagine she’ll keep right on getting pregnant though. No matter what it does to her family, her emotions and her body.
I thought similarly. And if that is indeed the case with her body, and if she does keep on getting pregnant and not carry to term, will that situation bother her conscience? I realize it’s a hypothetical, but I am curious about it.
I wonder if her “need” to keep having children at this point has anything to do with her age or fear of aging. I just ask this because at 36, with just two children, I find myself on occasion in panic about getting closer and closer to the time when I won’t be able to have children. I start thinking, “Maybe I should get pregnant now before it’s too late and I’m officially old!” Then I let logic take over, as that is a horrible reason to have a child.
I have a difficult time swallowing her stated reasons for not using birth control. Does her God not allow free will? Anyway, regardless of my feelings toward her and her husband, my condolences do go out to them in their time of grief.
I think after having #19 premature and #20 miscarrying..she has not been listening to God hard enough. She is nearly 40 its time to stop, put a glove on it already!
Michelle is actually 45, not nearly 40. She was born September 13, 1966.
I feel bad for her BUT she is to old to have more children.
This is Gods way of telling her that she should be thankful for all the kids she does have and its time to focus on them now.
gee the last one was preemie and almost died then you miscarry ,may be a sign that your to oldddddddddddddd and have had enough babies don’t you think? Time to hang up the uterus ! and raise the 19 you already have 🙂
rbb- when your last baby is born premature, with MANY major health problems to this day, perhaps its time to stop being selfish and realize that having babies at her age puts the babies in harms way. She deserves criticism as does her husband for knowingly having babies when it is unsafe for the baby. If she REALLY loved babies she wouldnt even think of putting one thru this!
They always say they listen to God and will follow His will.
But I have long suspected they are the type of Christians who crow long and loud about following God’s will when it happens to also be THEIR will.
Now that they had a micro preemie who nearly died and may very well have long-term health problems, and now a late miscarriage, will they really do what they have always claimed to do and follow God’s will? Because to anyone with basic observation skills and two brain cells to rub together, it’s clear as day that He’s saying, “Enough.”
Jeanette: she’s 43.
Michelle is actually 45, not 43. She was born September 13, 1966.
Maybe this is a hint from God to cap it.
Don’t care for this family and their crazy beliefs but I would like to post a big virtual hug to all Celebitchy followers who suffered the loss of a child.
Escapism can also be empathetic.
My condolensces to everyone who has lost a child and to the Duggars as well. I’ve had it happen recently to a close member in the family and it was heartbreaking. I don’t agree with this family but I’d not wish that on anyone. Hope the mother and family recover soon.
Oh man, I had no idea how common stillbirths were. I’m going through my second ectopic right now, and I’ve been feeling pretty sorry for myself, but so many of you ladies have been through so much worse. I actually can’t imagine anything more painful and frightening than giving birth to a baby that had already passed. To all of you who shared your stories, I am so, so sorry.
I don’t think God had anything to do with this. I think that like most women who conceive at age 45 or older, her chances of losing the pregnancy were high, and she is simply among the women this happens to. I’m sure they’ll try again, and the odds will be even higher that she’ll miscarry, because she’ll be even older next time. I am sure that Jim Bob will continue to knock her up and she’ll continue to suffer heartbreaking miscarriages until she simply doesn’t get pregnant anymore. I just don’t think they’ll be announcing any more pregnancies to Ann Curry.
Mrs.Odie: I was being sarcastic.
Classy write-up Celebitchy. Well done.
Dear Mrs. Duggar,
Your uterus is not a gumball machine, please stop treating it like one.
I feel sorry for her but at least she can’t blame this one on birth control. Would that she hadn’t let guilt drive her reproductive decisions. Also, those who are trying desperately to have even one child to love don’t need this fanatically fertile family thrust in their faces.
I’m sorry to those who are posting their losses, I hope one day you have the blessings of parenthood…
That indeed is a reason Jim Bob and Michelle do not practice any form of preventing pregnancy. They blamed the loss of their second child (the one they were expecting after Joshua and before the twins Jana and John-David) on contraceptives (although I don’t understand how they came to that logic–was it an accidental pregnancy or were they trying and weren’t using anything to prevent pregnancy and still blame contraceptives?).
Now with the loss of this child that would have been their 20th they cannot put the blame on contraceptives. I wonder if they will look to other reasons why than Michell’s age of 45 which is pretty much the start of perimenopause if not menopause in a lot of women. What Michelle went through with Josie at age 43 should have been a clear indication it was time to close the baby factory.
I think the reason they are being cagey is because they had to do a d&c or put another way, a late term abortion. Despite the fact the fetus is dead, there are a lot of people who feel that no one should have the option to have a late term abortion. If she did have a d&c that would, most likely, really conflict with their religious views. That’s why they prefer not to say much more.
1. A D&C is not an abortion
2. If the fetus is dead, it cant be aborted…
@Minx2 – That’s so great to hear! 🙂 I actually needed heart surgery before I was a year old, but the scar from that is the only lasting ‘damage’ I have from that time.
When you need a fisheye lens to get a picture of your family, you’ve had too many children.
There is something troubling and disgusting that anyone would want 20 kids. She is 45 and was pregnant with her 20th child. There is something mentally unbalanced with someone like this. I am not sympathetic at all for her…it was a mercy death.
Miscarriages are always sad, but a woman who’s 45 and has already had 19 kids — as much as she may want another one — has to consider the possibility (to put it lightly) that her body just isn’t capable of carrying a baby healthily to term anymore. She has to consider the health of her potential children in addition to her desire for another kid.
All of these comments are just horrendous. First of all, she did not have a miscarriage. She was 6 months pregnant so she will be having a stillborn. There is a huge difference. Secondly, it does not matter if she had 1 child or 100, a loss is a loss and it is horrible. I am very sad for her loss. People are very ignorant and these comments are disgusting.
Michelle was not 6 months (aka 24 weeks) pregnant. She was 19 weeks pregnant. It was a miscarriage because at 19 weeks the foetus is not viable outside the womb. A stillborn birth would be when a foetus would have survived outside the womb but for whatever reason died in the womb. Remember Josie was born at 25 weeks and that was pretty critical. At least that’s my interpretation of miscarriage and stillbirth.
RIP Jubilee Shalom Duggar.
I have had two miscarraiges and then recently, I carried a baby almost to term. She was stilborn 6 weeks early. I can tell you a miscarriae is NOT like a still birth. Yes, it is a horrible thing. It is terribly heartbreaking. But when you have this perfect, beautiful little baby laying there and you count fingers and toes, dress it and sing to it…then the person from the funeral home takes it away, Then you pick out a casket, decide what clothes to bury the baby in, that is VERY different from a miscarriage. I don’t care if she has 50 kids, it is a heartbeaking thing. And, I had a child at an early age, so I have a grandbaby. While it is an awesome experience, it’s not like having your own. People, we aren’t raising these kids, so lets live and let live.
I really empathize for the Duggars on the loss of this child. However, I can’t help but feel that they are ignoring the very obvious evidence that her 45 year old body is pretty much done having babies. They had a severely premature baby who just barely made it and now the loss of this most recent pregnancy.
If they are worried about using oral contraceptives, maybe it’s time for Jim to get a vasectomy (much less risky than Michelle having a hysterectomy).
Have they ever considered the consequences of Michelle dying during child birth ? 19 children would then be left without a mother.
It seems very possible that Michelle may have a psychological disorder as she is so obsessed with having children that she is overlooking all the risks involved.