I went to bed last night and when I woke up several of my dreams came true! The Dems captured the House in the US and Britney filed for divorce from K-Fed. She’s now a size six and she made a TV appearance after submitting to the skills of a makeup artist and halfway decent stylist. She wasn’t even chewing gum. I thought that was a big step for Britney, but she had a bigger surpise in store for everyone.

Sources say that K-Fed didn’t have a clue that the axe was coming and that Britney slapped the divorce papers on him unexpectedly! What’s more is that Britney might not even have to give K-Fed 1/2 a million according to their prenup. It’s a good f’in day!

Just a week after Kevin Federline told a Boston radio audience that he and Britney Spears “have a wonderful relationship,” the fading pop princess shocked the world and filed for divorce from the ne’er-do-well rapper.

Spears, apparently K-Fed up with her layabout spouse, sought to dissolve her marriage in Los Angeles County Superior Court yesterday, citing “irreconcilable differences.”

And just hours before kicking K-Fed to the curb, Britney flaunted her newly svelte form in a suprise appearance on the “Late Show with David Letterman” Monday night. Just to make sure her soon-to-be-ex would know what he’s going to be missing . . . .

The 24-year-old singer requested both legal and physical custody of their two sons, Sean Preston, 1, and 2-month-old Jayden James. She offered K-Fed reasonable visitation rights.

However,the Chaotic end to their two-year union was complicated by the fact that Federline was in Toronto promoting his debut rap album and Spears’ legal papers cited Monday as the date of their separation. Leaving many celeb pundits to wonder whether K-Fed was privvy to his wife’s decision to pull the plug on their merger.

Just last week the 28-year-old rapper assured WAAF’s Greg Hill that the Spederlines “were very happy and have a wonderful relationship.”

“I’m in mourning for K-Fed,” Hill told the Track yesterday. “But Kevin said he never reads any of the press about their marriage and doesn’t listen to what anyone says. So maybe he doesn’t read divorce papers either and doesn’t know about it yet.”

In fact, the “Britney and Kevin: Chaotic” star seemed clueless to any marital strife, according to Canada.com.

Sources told the Web site that Federline was overheard yesterday saying he hoped his wife would come to Toronto and surprise him.

Well, she probably surprised him all right!

Debra Birnbaum, editor and chief of Life & Style magazine says while K-Fed probably saw a split in their future, the timing may have been an unexpected blow.

“It couldn’t be worse timing for K-Fed,” Birnbaum said. “We’ve reported that he’s been trying to negotiate more money in their prenup for some time now. And his CD has not exactly been doing too well.”

But Spears’ decision to lose her trashtastic hubby has been a long time coming, Birnbaum added.

“I think the second pregnancy was a complete surprise to them and they decided to try and work it out for the sake of the kids,” she mused. “She’s ready for a comeback and I think she finally realized he’s a laughingstock – to be polite. She can’t succeed with Kevin attached to her.”

Birnbaum added that the couple’s recent sojourn to New York City to promote K-Fed’s CD seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Britney is said to have been photographed breaking down several times while in NY with K-Fed, and Life & Style says that the pictures will be in their upcoming issue.

In the divorce papers, Britney lists October 8, 2004 as the date of their marriage, not their big wedding day of September 18th. She has also hired divorce lawyer Laura Wasser, who has represented Angelina Jolie and Nick Lachey.

Remember how I said I needed a gossip boost because I was getting burnt out? This will do quite nicely. Plus we have two new contributing writers. Thanks to Lady Licorice and Celebrity Baby Scoop for helping out. Visit their excellent sites and give them some love.

Britney is fulfilling her destiny as laid out in our Fantasy Celebrity Futures wish list.

Here are tons of pictures of Britney in NY. She looks so happy. Thanks to BreatheHeavy.com and Splash News for these pictures.