I had this story in the links yesterday, but I just had to talk about once I saw this amazing ad. I was going to start the story with “LUBE, there it is!” (sung to the tune of “Whoop! There It Is”). Tasteless? Probably. As you can see, Kris Jenner is now the face of vadge dryness. Arid, powdery biscuits. Kris was named the spokeswoman for Zestra Essential Arousal Oils, which is just a fancy name for lube. Life & Style (who broke the story) claims that Kris felt a kinship to the company because she’s 56 years old and still very sexual. A source says: “She’s tried it and uses it. She wants to promote great sex.”
After nearly 21 years of marriage, Kris Jenner still has the hots for her husband Bruce — but that doesn’t mean they don’t need a little assistance in the bedroom.
The 56-year-old mother of Kourtney, 32, Kim, 31, and Khloe Kardashian, 27, is now the celebrity spokesperson for Zestra, a brand of arousal oils that vows to “help women get in the mood and ready for romance in minutes.”
“You can’t always plan a romantic dinner or wait for a vacation to have amazing sex, so you have to take advantage of those moments of mutual intimacy,” Jenner says in her testimonial. “For me, [Zestra provides] instant gratification. In a busy, complicated, hectic life, you can still fit in the time for sex, and you know it’s going to be enjoyable.”
The E! reality star believes Zestra can “add a little excitement” to any woman’s love life.
“Relationships have ebbs and flows and ups and downs that you just have to go with. You have to find simple ways to spice it up — to keep feeding the fire and keep monotony out of monogamy,” Kris says. “All of us have those moments when we look at our partner and think to ourselves, ‘Seriously? Not you again.’ And, then other times, they are the cutest thing in the world. Try something new and keep an open mind.”
Asks Jenner: “Why wouldn’t you want to try something that makes sex feel amazing and works in minutes?”
[From Us Weekly]
The thought of Kris and Bruce Jenner getting dirty with each other is all the birth control I need, but I do think it’s kind of nice (?) that Kris is representing women “of a certain age” who are still very much sexual. Of course Kris is a horrible person, etc, etc. But it’s nice that there’s at least one over-50 cat-face who is talking about her healthy sex life, you know? I can’t believe I’m defending her.
Here’s Kris being interviewed on Extra yesterday. Mario Lopez is human Zestra (for Kris).
Ad courtesy of Us Weekly, additional pics by WENN.
Lube there it is! LMAO!
I am laughing out loud AT WORK!!! All the birth control I need!! I LOVE IT!!!!
Well.
She certainly doesn’t embarass easily, does she?
“For me, [Zestra provides] instant gratification”
I thought the following words usually did it for her:
“Kim is dating a new ball player”.
My first response was eeeeew, eeew, gross, but now that I’m thinking about it- I guess this is the female equivalent of old dudes bragging about their viagra use, right? And no one’s really condemning them. So let’s give Kris some credit for putting this issue -50something ladies who still want to enjoy sex and need a little help with it- out there.
Although I’m pretty sure that’s not the reason why she’s doing this ad. It’s just that she’s completely without shame and would promote ANYTHING if you pay her enough.
ditto. Couldn’t have written it better myself.
Zestra….tried it, it works……kinda gives you the “tingles”….
Now that ^^ would make me buy it. Not Pimp Mama Kris.
Oh well *now* I wanna try it.
There simply is NO line this family won’t cross. Her name should be will do Anything for money. What a bunch of crass, useless millionaires! What a messed up country we live in that make the trash it creates into millionaires. Soon their dirty little empire will be worth billions and they are all simply a-moral whores and sluts. It would be funny but…it is sad.
You said exactly what I wanted to express. There is NOTHING these people won’t do for a buck. So disgusting.
Blame it on the recession? Even if they have money, they’re saving up for a saggy day. I would, too, if i could. Sometimes even i feel like i’d do anything for a buck, except of course, hook or flip burgers. So, hawking Zestra? Eh, not so bad. And i’m glad she’s getting the word out that women over 50 still do the deed. If you don’t buck the system, the system will buck you.
Now-now Dawn, to be fair, you have to look at it as all these years, they have been trying everything, to FINALLY find their niche!
No matter how hard they tried to get away from selling sex, after Kim’s first feature, they always come back to what they are best at.
And this, I would buy. It is honest, it is selling what their brand was meant to sell.
Beg your pardon on my vulgar meaning in advance. But I think Kim should be making a “how to tape for Dummies”… or in this case “Maproad for Attention Whores” on how to control your gag reflex. This, I would so definitely believe a lot more than “Bible Study”.
Snort, get real!
Dawn said it perfectly, said it all.
They’re all just ignorant white trash who know NOTHING about proper grammar or how to complete a sentence without sounding like aging valley girls.
Kris, we know how you love to write and talk about being a slut, as well as acting like one, but I do NOT want to hear about your sex life. Gawd, please take that image of her holding Zestra from my brain.
KJ was on E! News last night and when G asked her about Kylie/Kendall whichever one’s tweet she just laughed and said “Oh, she’s got a great sense of humor and thought it would be funny” then pointed to Alex, who was with her. She certainly didn’t deny Alex was Khloe’s father.
Wouldn’t Kris Jenner promoting a brand scare people away more than make them buy their product? It would for me.
Betty White is much sexier than Kris Jenner. Anytime of the day. Even early morning before her fard and blow-up. The woman is 90, quick as a whip with her sexual innuendo.
Would buy a brand that has Betty’s face one it, before anything that Kris’s face on it.
All that’s left to sell is stool softeners. Laugh if you want, but it’s coming. Watch.
I dont know. Maybe something that removes the urine smell from clothes and hair? There’s always that.
I would be dry too if I had to fuck with Bruce Jenner.
brilliant!
But how could she market and sell a product called, “Bruce Jenner makes me lose all thoughts of sex?”
That’s hilarious!!!
Damn, she has HUGE ear lobes!
KJ is so pathetic. I bet she would endorse land mines for school yards for a dollar.
There’s making money then there’s personal pride. Obviously these people opt for option one.
I really, really hate the biscuits analogy.
Cosign. It doesn’t even make any sense. Also hate “dong” with a passion!
She really takes the cake. This woman would endorse suppositories for a buck, cause we all know she is full of shit.
Word……..did anyone else notice KJ used the word “monogamy” in the article? Reckon she knows what it means?
The only one who thinks about Kris Jenner is Kris Jenner.
I love Kris Jenner.
Sorry, but she seriously needs to ditch the total black hair thing…gettin’ too old to pull that off anymore — makes her look older than she really is….too, too dark. Lighten up a bit on the hair color and eye make-up, woman! Startin’ to look “hard”!
And bangs hangin’ in her face?!? Ack!
Bwahahahahaha! I’ll be 60 this year and my honey is 45 – we certainly don’t need any stinkin’ LUBE – especially one endorsed by this trash. Love the comment about how f-ing Bruce Jenner would make one dry too. Totally agree. Pussy whipped men turn me off.
No.
I’m all for anything that helps women, especially older women, enjoy the electric slide more, but this woman turns my stomach with her willingness to pimp ANYTHING. Considering her facelift and Bruce’s, all I can imagine is frozen, botoxed skin and stitches rubbing together!
“…frozen, botoxed skin and stitches rubbing together!”
My God. I’ll need some serious eye bleach to wipe that horrifying image from my mind.
Once again, Kris Jenner is 61…NOT 56.
I don’t understand people giving her hell for this one. There’s nothing wrong with women having a healthy sexual appetite. There’s SO much more we can call her out on for having no pride or standards. Wanting good sex is not one of them.
That’s not the point…the point is that she will do ANYTHING for the almighty dollar.
She’d make a deal with the Devil himself for $$$. She has no conscience, no moral compass, no sense of decency or of crossing the line…she’s a white trash, uneducated, money-grabbing whore.
My protest is that she is disgusting, and that she is NOT appetizing in ANY product’s favor.
Ain’t nuthin’ wrong with healthy sexual appetite. Just sumthin’ wrong with choosing an appetite killer to promote one’s product.
I agree that her shilling a product isn’t going to make me go out on buy it, but pretending like THIS is a low blow for her is just silly. I think it’s surprisingly age-appropriate and one of her least bothersome moves.
I like the fact that they chose an older woman. But Kris Jenner? Really?
Didn’t this bitch claim on the krapdarshian show to scott dickit that she and jenface haven’t had sex in over a year? Does this money grubbing whore really believe everyone is as stupid as she is? Maybe she should hawk memory boosting products instead.
My impression of Kris has always been that she likes money and sex and fame. So I think that this is the perfect gig for her. Aint nothing wrong with playing your strengths.
Nothing could kill the mood faster for me than anything that might remind me of this woman or her offspring. Just sayin’.
I’m wondering if she bothers to be in the same room with Bruce after application …