Just so you know, this is my new favorite gossip story EVER. I read the headline and I couldn’t stop giggling to myself. So… you know how that S&M novel, Fifty Shades of Grey, is like the newest “Must Read Book” amongst the mommy-set? I’m sure non-mothers are reading it too, but the book is getting crazy buzz as the must-get book-p0rn of the year, and now Hollywood is going to adapt it for the screen. The basic plotline is that Christian Grey is a billionaire and a “dominant” – meaning he’s a sadist who is looking for a woman who will be his submissive. He finds Anastasia Steele, a young, virginal woman in her early 20s, and she becomes his submissive. Apparently – I haven’t read the book yet, just FYI. I’ll get around to it! Anyway, if this story feels familiar, it’s because you’ve seen 9 ½ Weeks. Also: it’s based on Twilight fan-fiction. FOR REAL. And now people are discussing whether Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson should be cast as Christian and Anastasia. FOR REAL.
Since the adult erotic novel began as a ‘Twilight’ fan fiction, it makes sense for Rob and Kristen to star in the film version of the book!
Fifty Shades Of Grey — the popular mommy porn that has hit Amazon’s best-seller list — is being turned into a movie. Deadline.com reports that Universal and Focus Features acquired the rights to the novel for a cool $5 million. Now that we know it will hit the big screen, it’s time to turn our attention to casting the big roles — and of course we think that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart would be perfect!
Fifty Shades is the story of billionaire Christian Grey and recent college grad Anastasia Steele who fall in love despite Christian wanting Ana to be his “submissive” in a Bondage-Discipline/Dominant-Submissive/Sado-Masochistic relationship.
However, the novel originally began as an adult, alternate universe Twilight fan fiction, with Edward as the billionaire and Bella as the virginal Anastasia. But the names were changed when it was published. And although Fifty Shades is devoid of vampires and werewolves, fans of both will recognize the similarities between the two stories — including Christian’s adopted family and Anastasia’s best male friend Jose.
Since Robert doesn’t have any work lined up yet, and everyone is dying to see more steamy sex scenes between him and K-Stew, these two should definitely think about these roles.
[From Hollywood Life]
Oh. My. Gawd. Can you imagine? From what I know of Sparkles, that boy would simply have a full-blown nervous breakdown if he had to “dominate” a woman, even if it was just on screen. As for Kristen… well, do we really need to see her lip-biting and eye-rolling her way through a sex-heavy role? That image is what is cracking me up so much. Like, Sparkles tying Kristen to a bedpost and Kristen rolling her eyes and looking bored. I need to stop. I’m laughing too hard.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Ew.
Hell. To. The. No. Not to mention that the movie is going to have to be cleaned up severely if it ever wants to hit theathers, raising the chances that this film adaptation will suck. Sometimes books should just remain books!
I agree totally! I like my smut stashed away, like a guilty pleasure should be, so TIRED of Hollywood and the pervy media working overtime trying to make pron mainstream, glorifying prostitution and vicarious rape scenes conveniently categorized under “S&M.”
Anyway, if they were do a movie (wouldn’t surprise me, Amanda Seyfried is starring in “Lovelace,”) i see Kristen being the dominatrix and Robert being walked all over…but she’d have to take off those Converse and put on some spikes to do it.
Hahahahahah No.
Ah hahahahahaha, hell no.. that would be 2 hours of absolute awkward..
I started reading in when it was twilight fanfiction (don’t judge, please!I’m fanfiction fan since x-files shippers,when I was like, 13), and I was sad that it was BDSM, bc that’s just not my thing, so I couldn’t read on.
I don’t think Kstew would be the submissive type, I think he’d be more appropriate for that role. 😉
Worst.Casting.Ever.
Seriously. Are there two worse actors out there? Both are awful… Just awful.
Okay, I’ll guiltily admit I’ve read the trilogy of these books and — FRANKLY — the (particularly UNSKILLED) writer keeps painting the Christian character as this God Among Men, the “BestLookingThingAnyWomanHasEverSeen,” has this animal charisma that the ladies are powerless against….and, uh: that ain’t R-Patt. By ANY stretch of the imagination.
It would have to be this like….Fassbender/Jon Hamm/David Gandy/Jason Statham hybrid of a creature for me to buy it.
Any yep — there’s no way they could make this screen worthy AND keep half of what makes the book interesting.
Not to get toooooooo detailed, but some people have been willing to look past the (completely LAME) writing and suggest it’s actually a very accurate depiction of a woman’s psychological journey into submission and all of the self-doubt that accompanies. That INTERNAL struggle would be pretty tough to translate onto the screen.
I agree that the premise of a woman entering into a BDSM relationship would definitely be an intersting story/movie.
Unfortunately that’s not really what this is.
Watch the movie ‘Secretary’ with Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader. It is very good. In it, the man struggles with feelings of shame and guilt. Not so, for the female character. Very refreshing.
@Jackie, oh my god yes, that movie is so good. And very hot!
Judging by the reviews on Amazon, this just sounds like Twilight fanfic ripping off the plot from the Story of O. Only, badly. Does anyone know?
David Gandy, I dont think I’d care how bad the acting was-plus it’s the only way I’d see the movie!
Oh, hell yes!!
Watch the Bel Ami sex scene with Kristen Scott Thomas, I think he could pull it off.
But I don’t think they would touch this in a million years. I just can’t even imagine how they are going to make a movie out of this – if you take out or soften the sex scenes, there is not much story left.
i could see it if he was the submissive and her the dominant.
yeah, that is what I was trying to say. 😉
He doesn’t look like he’d be much fun to dominant.
Haha! He’s just a turn off for me.. Submissive nor dominat, meh.
“do we really need to see her lip-biting and eye-rolling her way through a sex-heavy role?”
Considering the Anastasia character in this criminally-bad fanfic-turned-criminally-bad-ebook-turned-somehow-million-dollar-property CONSTANTLY bites her lip and “cocks her head to the side” and has inner turmoil with her “inner goddess” I don’t think K-Stew would be so bad.
God, I hate everything to do with this terrible “book”
and the eye rolling. there’s LOTS of eye rolling.
Yep, I could buy her as the obnoxiously “obstinate” brat, but not him…..
And I COULD NOT AGREE MORE on the “criminally bad” aspect. If this moron could convince a publisher to crank out her “OMG/HOLY COW/OH WOW” brand of dialogue, I should be the next flipping Hemingway.
Yup, to add, I would think that so many of you who don’t like her would want to see Kristen in this role… the female character gets spanked in punishment every time she rolls her eyes at the guy.
The character traits and types are very similar to the characters in the Twilight books. Christian /Edward are the best looking-hottest man creature in the world; Anna/Bella are these ingénues who by some miracle have no idea that they are beautiful and that every guy wants them. That alone is a stretch for any actor, let alone rational thinking person. But it makes for good fantasy for some.
The delusional Hollywood Life writer cracks me up. As if they could get any big name actors to appear in this film! You know the level of actor they could actually get? Lindsay Lohan. If in a few month’s time the Cracken will be trying to start rumours that she is up for playing Anastasia Steele as a part of her “comeback”, then remember that I called it first.
That is actually a pretty accurate prediction. I’m with you on the quality of actors who would be willing to star in this. To make it completely gross let’s envision Mickey Rourke as Christian.
Both actors would be all wrong for the movie.
Cruise and Swift?
On another note, do you mean while my colleagues and I are working an extra fifteen hours a week to help cover the moms who need to go home, they’re actually relaxing with porn? Not baby toes and all that?
That’s exactly right. Moms who leave work earlier are either (a) playing with their babies’ toes or (b) getting off on bad novels.
They certainly couldn’t be rushing to get to daycare before it closes, trying to feed their child a decent meal before he falls asleep in the highchair, wrangle the child through a bath and get him to bed at a decent hour. That never happens.
We’re having an f-ing ball.
Ok thanks for clarifying. We were all hoping it was for baby toes and daycare reasons; that we could support. Now that you made it clear it is not for that, we must think twice. Especially when we are growled at after pitching in for busy moms.
Glad to help enlighten. But you should be warned that sometimes, when not overwhelmed with exhaustion from the drinking and masturbating, we work from home after the baby’s asleep. Shhhh! Don’t tell.
Our numbers fiend tells me our tiny exhausted team (me plus 3) logged 400+ unpaid hours and gifted away twelve vacation days in the last few months to help out the two moms with tiny ones, to make sure they weren’t attacked by our vile and useless Sr. VP. We would do it all again. When the moms come in they joke about skiing and Bliss facials. Key word: joke. We all have friends exhausted by child-rearing. Our ex-Seal even told the VP to be mindful. Ok? Hopes someone where you work helps you out too.
I am so sorry that such advantage was taken. It sounds like a tough work environment and you were stellar to step up.
That was nice of you and the co-workers! When my son got sick and I had to miss time from work, I was SOL. Wish I worked with you guys.
But I wouldn’t trade the baby toes part for the world 😀
Hahaha. Wow. Thanks for the first laugh of the day.
Fan fiction is just that—fans of a fictional story, with over-active imaginations that think they can write, but are only capable of pulling from the original story’s canon, and therefore, aren’t creative enough to come up with anything new.
The author of the book seems to be a bored housewife who needs to stick to reading only and away from writing.
Have read some of 50 Shades and it was so poorly written that the hype surrounding it just infuriated me.
NO, to Sparkles and K-Stew in a movie version. He’s got more potential than that, and Christian Grey needs to be older and more worldly than Rob is. To automatically start thinking about these 2 in the Grey/Ana roles is making the same leap as the writer of this dreck—unimaginative and dumb.
PRECISELY — It infuriated me, too.
Every last sentence was like something a high school girl with a crush on the principle cranks out between classes. I read them. And hated myself afterward that millions of women are willing to suffer through ABHORRENT writing for the sake of some lame soft core scenes.
I’ve read my fair share of romance novels, and every single of one of them managed better than describing orgasms as “coming undone” time after time after time. Ugh.
@chickie baby: thank you for explaining. I couldn’t understand what ‘fanfiction’ actually meant outside of fans writing letters to their favourite stars in any given medium.
i’ve certainly learnt something new today.
Thank you so much. With all the hype surrounding this poorly written trilogy, I thought I was the only person in the universe who felt that way.
NO!
Just NO!
I hope they don’t tone done the book for the cinema. Hope it get’s rated R… or NC-17:)
Ugh…just ugh…
I hate the book. I hate the whole silly trend, I could never see Sparkles or Daft act believably in it and God…a small part of me hates you for making me read the title of this post. lol, jk. (about the hating Kaiser part, not everything else).
Maybe its just me but there’s something sad about the fact THIS was the book that took off. This and Twilight makes me wonder why being helpless and controlled by men are what seems to appeal so much to such large groups of women.
Call me when we move up from that cheesy level of kinky.
I am not really sure how many people are “into” 50 shades.
It is just so laughable.
But then I also found Twilight to be hilariously poorly written.
Unfortunately it’s a huge bestseller. Hence the movie deal, seems like Hollywood can’t come up with new ideas anymore. I am saddened/infuriated/bewildered that such trash is so popular, what does it say about us?
Considering everyone is suggesting Fassbender for the role, I really, really need to read this book.
Read the trilogy then decide. This is not movie material but HBO/Cinemax type of series (if anything). If I did the series I would pick Lily Collins as Ana and Dustin Clare for Christian. For Mrs. Robinson it would be Madeleine Stowe…for starters.
Really, you don’t. I downloaded the link from ONTD and am either rolling my eyes from the sheer badness of it, or laughing my *** off. So much fontrum.
I’m on the second book, and I’m not sure if I have reality goggles on or what, but Robert Pattinson is not the described Christain Adonis. NO NO NO. The chemistry between him and Kirsten Stweart is so cold they can reform glaciers. I don’t buy it. Don’t ruin this movie for me. Even thou I know it will be in order to even get an R-rating.
I hate myself for knowing this but she did write it with him in mind. I was able to make it through about half the story, I refuse to call it a book.
I knew that it was for the Twilight Fans. I’ve read both and well honestly, I’m not sure how this is a fan fiction of this particualr Twilight. Am I missing something? Well other than the eye rolling, lip biting. I’m not imagining Bella-esque or Sparkles-esque. I enjoyed the first book, the second thus far is in need of serious help, but I’ll finish reading them. You can only go on with so much sex even I have to think “Jeez even in fantasy books, they can’t even screw this much”. Really, I’m not sure what man or woman can. I just don’t know, well except two things. 1-no way on the two proposed to play these two characters and 2-this movie should not be made at all b/c it’s going to become a bad romcom that J-LO/Kate Hudson will put a comedic spin on it, and lose what little intrigue it has.
I have been reading you for a while now and have yet to comment which I rarely do. But the visual you gave me of “kristen eye rolling looking board tied up” part actually left me in absolute stitches. YOu are a classic. I love sparkles name and cracken and goop and the rest. I cant stop reading you. I have not walked away from this blog without at least one belly laugh.
The books are okay. Lots of flaws that kind of dragged me away from the story, so it’s hard for me to want to see it as a movie. The author bases the book around Americans in their 20’s, but they talk like 40 year old British women to me. I saw the Twilight aspects in the characters, so I think it’s silly to do a movie on it. If they to, it will tank.
THANK YOU (apparently I’m into commenting on this thread today).
When I realized the writer was a 40-something British woman trying to write like 20-something Americans it made more sense.
“Anastasia, you are going to UNMAN me” was the line that made me physically set the book down. UNMAN? Meaning blow early? Show me a 28 year-old dude who talks like that.
As much as the dialog is really crazy, with the UNMANNING and the Mr. Grey and Ms Steele, I didn’t mind it to much. It’s a romance/fantasy book. How much reality is going to be in it? I’ve been able to detach myself from bad writing and dialog and go with the story and let my mind wonder. I’m more mad they bought the rights and suggesting these two cold dead actors.
Wait! That pervy scabby old photographer and LowLungs? If she can play Liz she can certainly play an eye-rolling virgin?
I don’t think anyone really wants to see these two hobos get down. So awkward.
Kaiser, I was just reading your Twitter, and yes, Fassbender would be so perfect for this! And I haven’t even read the book, but from what I’ve heard…oh, god. The thought is giving me shivers.
And the name of the author is what?
No to Robsten. And they’d say it themselves too.
No, no and no.
No to making a movie out of the book, unless they can turn dreck into a semi-decent movie. This is some of the worst writing I’ve ever read in any book. I cannot for the life of me understand why people think Stephenie Meyer, Suzanne Collins and E.L. James are capable of writing anything above the level of a junior high school newspaper. Their writing skills are dreadful.
No to Pattinson as the S-half of an S-M movie.
No to Stewart as half of anything. She’s a total nothing as an actress.
They wouldn’t do it but I could totally see them doing highly sexual roles.
As for the casting for 50 shades I’d hope they pick less obvious actors. No Fass or scarjo
Cillian Murphy for Christian, who – for the uninitiated – was physically modelled after Rob.
Oh Kaiser, I needed that laugh right now. As if Rob would touch this disaster in the making! The original story was written with him in mind btw, so I don’t see the problem there. He could easily pull it off, but never would want to.
I don’t care if you keep on calling him Sparkles until the end of times, but at least be up to date movie wise. David Cronenberg’s Cosmopolis will premiere at Cannes in May. Buzz for that one is already building, solely based on the recent teaser trailer. And it’s more out there then your beloved Fassy’s Shame. Sparkles will prove you QUITE wrong, sparkling all the way while doing it…
Cosmopolis teaser:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8fAtVDeK3Y
Can we please keep the rabid fangirling to an absolut minimum?
My thoughts were on cosmopolis and bel ami when she mentioned Rob not being able to play a dom. Both roles show him playing that side.
I hope not. I love this book . I think they both look to young. I know in the book Christian is in his late 20’s and Ana’s in her early 20’s but No NOT thse two . Please !!
I do think that Michael Fassbender ( who I love) would be the PERFECT Christian . But I don’t wanna Type cast him either .
I’m sure Stewart and Pattinson would be the first to say they should/would never do it. Primarily because this is rooted in Twilight. I am sure they are ready to be done with that.
But aside from that, I think Pattison would provide some pretty self-deprecating humor when asked if he could play this role. And you know that as soon as he begins to do press for Cosmopolis or Breaking Dawn Pt 2, he is going to be asked. Should be funny.
I thought the same thing! Can’t wait to hear his comments when he is asked about this.
I think Jonathan Rhys Meyers would be perfect for this role. He is so naturally sexy, intense and mysterious. Not sure who the female should be but no Twighliters please.
Definitely agree on John Rhys Meyers. I sense a strong sado streak in him. I don’t know why people are so infatuated with Michael Fassbender. I saw him in “Jane Eyre” and thought he was terrible.
I’ll bet money this movie never gets made. They bought the rights but how mamy studios do this with a book, only to have it stall somewhere at some point when a hot new book doesn’t stay hot for very long?
This is a third rate fanfiction story. It’s a rip off not only of twilight, but of other fanfictions before it. I think Stephenie Meyers as well as Lionsgate will have a lot to say in court in terms of intellectual property ownership before it can even be developed.
Huh, I never realized this before but Kaiser really does pick the most unflattering pics of the celebs she does not like. I rememember seeing those pics when they first came out and there were plenty with her smiling and him not looking like such a doofus …yeah, these two are probably pissed that that this film is being made since they wanted to distance themselves from twilight.
Hey if you like 50 Shades may I suggest an author who is even better (IMO) have all of her books, I think she is that good.
Hardcore but good.
Annabel Joseph. Check her out my faves are her latest Cirque du Minuit, Mercy and Comfort Object about actor who is into BDSM.
http://annabeljoseph.wordpress.com/
I’ve read a little of 50 Shades and liked it.
But no really don’t want those two from Twilight to play the roles from Shades.
Oh, just what we need. Yet ANOTHER movie/book/”romance” tale showing women as nothing but submissive sex toys for their man. Seriously~we have GOT to stop allowing this paradigm of women as inferior helpless submissive property of the men who control them to be perpetrated over and over again. It is long since past time to put that mode of thought to rest. Women currently have more opportunity than at any other point in history to be equal to, if not superior by their own merit than. men do. We can have our own families, our own households, our own careers, and our independence. WHY oh why are we letting this destructive stereotype continue to exist?
50 Shades of Grey . . . perfect choice, as they are both 50 shades of zip.
From Amazon summary: “Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.”
OMG, it’s a TRILOGY! ROTFL
wait, isn’t this the plot line of The Secretary with maggie gyllenhaal and that guy from boston legal? i liked that movie, it had depth and was funny in a quirky, dark way.
Yes! Secretary was an amazing film…this won’t be fit to lIck Secretary’s shoes
I’ve read the stories and I keep picturing christian bale as the lead
Christian Grey is Christian Bale, no doubt about it – if you Google Image Christian Bale, it could be any one of those photographs – as Bruce Wayne, Patrick Bateman, shirtless, you name it. Kristen Stewart or Amanda Seyfried would make a good Anastasia. And for people who haven’t read the books but think they are anti-women – READ THE BOOKS. Then decide. And by the way, I’ve read plenty of erotica in my life – there is something about the way the author writes the scenes that immediately stoke the libido. I’ve got all the women at my work reading them and guess what? Our sex lives are INCREDIBLY MORE AWESOME. My husband LOVES me reading these books.
Ha ha! Awesome. I just can’t imagine this as a movie. Also. JOSE?! Ha ha. Gave me a good laugh … thanks.
NO GOD PLEASE. I need both of them and twilight to go away forever after the last twilight movie comes out. I Do not wanna see their shitty acting in any more movies. And i Do not want to hear about any more “robsten” bs.
Amen!
well… i don’t want to discuss whether or not it should be rob and k-stew. there are to many points both pro this idea and against it.
but the whole story (or at least most of it) is based on their sexual relationship. that might be a problem. but there are possibilities they could integrate those scenes without showing to much and without screwing the hole film. i was keen on how they solved the problem in “queer as folk” where there are so many sex scenes without being too open or too cheap and stuff. And so the film could eventually get an 16-certification…
Jonathan Rhys Meyers would be perfect for the role. Sad, beautiful, tortured but the sado violent streak in his gaze.
Are u all crazy??? CILLIAN MURPHY most definitely!!!!! Christian needs to be hot, in a scary, beautiful, intense, troubled kind of way…. Pls watch incpetion and look at CILLIAN MURPHY!!! He is P E R F E C T
I,think Robert and Kristen were made to do 50 shades of gray.After Braking dawn.They were wonderful. This is what they both need to reel them back in.Robert your looks is what got you in
Twilight,you and Kristen , are both hot
so let it work for you.Look at Brad pitt, he is making crazy movies now. but look at himin TROY and BEN.Button. he is a good actor and so is Robert,and they are both are hot, Robert and Kristen, you were born that way let it work for you. your fans made you. get out of the movies if you want to be poor and not take picture
Robert need to support Kristen, if she wants to do 50 shades of gray.She support you in Bel Ami and cosmopolis.
I READ BOTH BOOKS Bel Ami , would have been ok if it had not been cut so
much.Cosmopolis, I COULD NOT UNDERSTAD.
Fifty shades of gray, is just what you both need.Iam a true Fan I, BELIEVE in
both of you. 50 shades will let the world know that you two are good actors
The movie’s are all FX ,there are stunt people and doubles for stars .Robert you did a poto layout for
Fanity Fair.There were women with just there panties, on no Bra. sitting in your lap.Sitting on your Shoulder with ther legs, laying on your chest.taking bubble bath with your hand in the tub
while sitting on the floor.then you said that you were allegic to Vaginas.
the fan made50 shades have you and Kristan in it and it done very good
you want do 50 shades,I saw the fan made
50 shades anoit is good.