Jake Gyllenhaal has 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one

These are photos of Jake Gyllenhaal from two nights ago, at a benefit for the late Paul Newman’s A Hole In The Wall Camps. Jake is really letting his beard grow out, isn’t he? I mean, it looks trimmed and everything, but this boy can really grow some burly facial hair. And the big beard makes his blue eyes stand out even more, which is nice. Jake has pretty eyes. Anyway, I read this funny little item about Jake this morning, and I just had to share it:

Jake Gyllenhaal has been turning heads — or “spinning” them — by popping up on the “instructor’s bike” at SoulCycle in Union Square. The “Source Code” star cycled on a stage next to an instructor Monday in full view of an afternoon spin class.

He even mouthed the words to a Jay-Z song playing on the soundtrack while wearing “a black tank top, shorts and full beard dripping in sweat,” a spy said, adding Jake even lip-synced, “I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one.”

[From Page Six]

Does that make you like Jake more? I like him more, knowing that he loves a good spin class and he knows the words to Jay-Z songs. I’ve been listening to Jay-Z and Kanye’s “N—gas in Paris” while I work out, but I make a concerted effort to not mouth the words. Because… well, people might get offended. But this bitch isn’t offended that Jake has 99 problems and a bitch ain’t one. What would you do if Jake showed up in your spin class?

One more Jake story – Ellen Pompeo recently told a story about Jake hitting on her before they were famous. The problem is that she’s told this story several times, because I distinctly remember the line Ellen claims Jake used on her: “He told me I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.” Um… I’m not putting that on Ellen. That’s Jake’s line. And it’s cheesy as hell.

Jake Gyllenhaal

Jake Gyllenhaal

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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41 Responses to “Jake Gyllenhaal has 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one”

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  1. Rhea says:

    He looked like the skinnier-more trimmed-version of the guy in the Hangover… you know, the one with the beard… 😀

  2. Jackie says:

    great title! makes me laugh.

  3. Marjalane says:

    He needs to get himself a nice beard and settle down with a family; I don’t think he’s going to age particularly well.

  4. backwards says:

    I can be his 100th problem.

  5. Mitch Buchanan Rocks says:

    It would be interesting to see Jake get with Jennie Garth.

  6. Sasha says:

    Why does it look like him and Christian Bale are merging into the same person? I can’t tell the apart anymore!

    • Julie says:

      I know. Both completely lipless. It freaks me out. I mean how do they make out and isnt there surgical help for that? Like maybe grafting skin from wherever to construct friggin LIPS? The beard helps though.

  7. keira says:

    There was a cute article in the NYT before the Oscars re how to wear a tuxedo…and how several celebrity men don’t wear them “correctly” (i.e., Brad and his puddling pant legs). There’s a photo diagram featuring Jake and how excellently tailored his suits and tuxedos are, evidenced by your photo above, too. He has a great posture.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/23/fashion/formal-wear-tips-from-mens-fashion-experts.html?_r=1&ref=georgeclooney

  8. sup says:

    king of fugz. and those are so obvious contact lenses. there are a few celebs who wear a similar shade. like the girl who played rory gilmore.

    • Cait says:

      Nah, I don’t think he wears colored contacts.

      • sup says:

        really? i always thought his eyes were of some darker hue. i would have noticed if they were this light in colour? well doesn’t matter anyway

  9. grace says:

    There were pictures of him in NYC a few weeks ago with a girl with blue hair, and they seemed pretty close. Does he have a new, low-key relationship?

  10. kibbles says:

    Ugh. I hate that song.

  11. SallyJay says:

    This site makes my life.

  12. Hautie says:

    I really love that song! (99 Problems) it is one of my… get me out of a bad mood songs…. I play in my truck after a particular ugly day at work.

    I also love “Gold Digger” by Kayne.

  13. Samigirl says:

    Jay Z is a guilty pleasure of mine. Whenever my husband starts picking on me, I tell him I’m about to only have 99 problems 😉

    I like that he likes him. I won’t hate on it.

  14. Nessa says:

    That beard needs to go! It covers his beautiful face.

    And I hate that people still pick on him for being gay. He clearly is not!!! (not that there is anything wrong with that)

    • Iggles says:

      Um, let’s agree to disagree on his sexuality ..

      Now I fully agree that no one should “pick on him” for being gay! I don’t get why some people have issues with others’ orientation. Why can’t we all live and let live?

  15. francesca says:

    “A Hole in the Wall”. Nice.

  16. tango says:

    Dump any and all beards Jake. Literally and figuratively .

  17. the original bellaluna says:

    Meh on the beard; love his eyes; recently watched Prince of Persia while I was up with insomnia. What a turd-fest that movie was!

    • Calli P says:

      Yes, but zomg- he was so freakin’ beautiful in that flick (took my kids when it was in theaters, heh, heh)- a real biscuit- tingler, and that’s how I will always visualize him. Sooo yummy.

      God, he looks so old,tired,& unhappy in these pics.

  18. Cait says:

    I like facial hair sometimes, but he looks better clean shaven.

  19. strah says:

    I kind of hate it when people sing or mouth along with a song that’s playing. It just bugs me.

  20. Rachel says:

    He can come to my spin class! I teach Tuesdays and Thursdays, Jake!

  21. novaraen says:

    He looks pale and tired and sad. 🙁 He needs to just get real, shave the beard, stop dating beards and just be his regular ol gay self. Closeting because you’re afraid it will hurt your career is sad and ridiculous these days…be yourself and don’t be ashamed.

  22. Mamahawk says:

    My new/old catch phrase for the day. Love it!

  23. buckley says:

    He has really good hair.

  24. Francesca says:

    It is totally his problem; he is just doing ‘affirmations’.

  25. Jordan says:

    I miss Jake in good roles in movies. He was great in The Shoes video and I wish he was offered those kind of movie roles. He would knock it out of the park. It’s like, just b/c Ted had a wet dream while Jake was doing Brokeback Mtn. and went on the attack, studios don’t want to take the risk w/ him anymore. Yet people like Justin Timberlake keep getting roles b/c his loyal fanbase and not b/c he can actually act. Jakey, do more indie films.

  26. fran says:

    love Jake , hate the beard and stash , it makes him look like a old man.

  27. Ashton Martin says:

    He looked a tad strange without the beard. Now he just looks like a strange form of chia pet.

    Oh well, at least his sister Maggie can act.

  28. Clara says:

    Jake Gyllenhaal for ALL THE THINGS. [tosses confetti]