For the most part, I’m happy to ignore Michael Lohan. I wish he didn’t exist, and he’s completely worthless (at best) and (at worst) a violent, abusive, vagina-kicker. But Michael Lohan does exist, out there in the world, when he’s not in jail for DUIs or kickin’ vadges. For more than a year, Michael had an on-and-off relationship (that’s seriously the best way I can say it) with former Star Magazine reporter Kate Major. Major also had a brief affair with Jon Gosselin, and after Gosselin dumped her, Major started up with Michael Lohan. It’s not like Major and Lohan have some great love affair or anything – she’s called the cops on him, he’s called the cops on her, she’s given interviews about his physical abuse, and CB is sure that Kate has a drinking problem to boot. Michael has substance abuse problems as well, just FYI. The last time CB wrote about Major was January of this year, when Major was arrested in Florida (where else?) for beating the crap out of her neighbors and being a violent, racist, crazy bitch.
So you know where this is headed. This delicate flower and her immortal beloved have made a baby together.
There’s going to be a new addition to the Lohan litter — but fear not … it’s not Lindsay who’s preggers. TMZ has learned Lindsay’s gonna have another sibling, courtesy of Kate Major and Michael Lohan.
According to our sources, Kate is in her first trimester. But get this … the restraining order she had against MiLo was lifted lifted only a few weeks ago … so the act of conception was illegal.
Our sources say Michael has not told Lindsay or any of his other children the happy news yet. So Lindsay, we’re pleased to inform you you’re gonna have a brother or sister to whom you can teach the ropes.
A rep for the couple confirms the pregnancy, but wouldn’t comment further.
So… yeah. This is probably happening. Only Michael Lohan would get a woman pregnant WHILE SHE HAD A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST HIM. So trashy. So typical. I’m going to light a candle for this poor baby.
Kate Major has a Twitter too – she hasn’t confirmed the news yet, but she has been tweeting about going to church and being on a “health kick”. So…I don’t even know.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
I hate knowing that wonderful, loving, responsible couples have a hard time conceiving but this bag of dicks not only sharted out the genetic material for the Cracken but also impregnated an equally deplorable waste of space. Just sad.
ah hahahaha completely agree and reading your comment just made my morning
+1. Couldn’t say it any better myself.
I’m one of the unable to conceive. Whilst watching Teen mom shows become popular, reading stories in the news about abuse daily, caring for my niece whose mother uses her as a pawn in order to get taken care of by her elderly parents… This world:( I worry for the poor child. Will probably be born with done sort of drink-related syndrome right out of the gate. The gate being her bruised vagina.
Great! Another Lohan offspring. Just what the world needs.
Not so fast! What if it’s not his? (A baby can dream…)
I don’t think the mother is such a great catch either
but…what if this new version of Lohan REPLACED the old, scrappy Lilo?
assuming that Linds has got…well, a limited contract on her life! Lohan version 7.0 could be the Lohan Messiah of sorts and bring good to all the garbage karma that her predecessors brought onto the world
Okay, he is the most ridiculous idiot. But this makes her the most ridiculous idiot x 1000.
She was already that, times a million. She is just as sick and behaviorally twisted and addicted as he is.
These two together is a giant mistake and now they have made another irretrievable mistake. And the way these two do things, I would bet she got pregnant on purpose so she could keep up the shenanigans.
Because crazy behavior including police several times a year is completely normal and equals eternal LOVE, right? Right?
Agree! I’m quite sure that their reasoning would be that they are “passionate”….Yeah, for tabloid attention….
GAG GAG GAG.
That poor baby did not win the gene pool lottery. I can only hope it’s the wake up call that at least gets her sober and healthy, if not him.
He was sober for a long time, wasn’t he?
I can’t remember if either one of them actually got sober and I saw them on Dr. Drew. Everytime anything happened, he’d jump up, start yelling at everything and refuse to calm down, and then with his mantra: I HAVE CHEST PAINS! OH MY GOD I HAVE CHEST PAINS.
So that everybody would freak out and call the EMTs. The guy had a heart condition but everything that comes out of his mouth is suspect. I feel like he used that just to get the others onto his manic platform so they’d all be on the same crazy page. It never worked.
Their MAIN issue is simple immaturity. It leads to all the other crazy.
No! She has been in rehab a few times too. What a mess. I really hope this isn’t true.
I really hope that this is not true…I can’t think of two more unfit people to have a baby.
Neither can I. 🙁
I feel sorry for this girls parents. SMH.
Am I the only one who thinks Kate Major is pretty ?
Yeah?
Lol 🙂
Ummm….yeah, probably.
Yes you are.
Whoa there’s another Lara on here who thinks this woman is pretty? Quickly run off and change my name….
haha yes, she is so bloated and busted. the bloat is from her drinking problems or her pill problems or both.
I think it was celebrity rehab where he was talking about how hard it was for him to stay sober when she was constantly pilled up on Xanax and Oxys. She’s so nasty.
have you seen her insides???
Yes.
Gross!!! That poor baby doesn’t stand a chance. Hopefully these 2 morons keep up their antics and the baby gets taken away.
Michael Lohan continuing to spread his seed (shudder) is a TRULY horrifying thought.
Can’t we require mandatory sterilization for people like this? Eww.
my thoughts exactly!
It’s a great thought, but unfortunately if we did it for them we would have to do it for so many others and the list is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long!
Oh my god, this is really the worst.. just thinking about that poor baby makes me wanna beat those two up.
Figures, he/she’s gonna be a mess. Either way I’ll pray for his future too.
so sad, the people who are least fit to have a child always have one.
They’re going to use this poor baby as their favorite pawn to hurt each other with. This is really a bad, bad, bad idea.
Kate looks like a burnt out club slut. Kind of like Lindsay. Im going back to look @ Hugh coming out of the surf. Maybe that will get the image of ML impregnating her out of my mind. Yuck!!!
Nice try Aussie girl but I think even the lovely Hugh Jackman can’t override such mental trauma.
It’s time someone invented mind bleach. To the laboratory!
She is looking fatter these days.
I haven’t read the article yet but c’mon is this really the first person I have to start my morning out with? Yuck. Off to the article.
Article read and we all know he is the lower than the lowest life form on earth, but I get this dirty old man vibe from him as well. He is just a nasty, horrible form of a human.
Wait! Didn’t Michael take pics of her naked while she was passed out then sell the photos?
So, now she’s pregnant. I didn’t think this love story could get any better.
Pool kid is gonna be so pimped out if the kid survives having these two for parents. So sad!
Wonder how long before they have another huge bust up and he get’s another restraining order. He managed to get her pregnant time around. That family need to learn some family planning can you imagine Lindsay babysitting?
Oh the other Lohans are not going to like this. Just wait for the first 911 call that he is hitting his pregnant girl friend. These people make hill people (sorry to all the hill people) look very sophisticated. If these fools get a reality show out of this my television is going to the land fill!!!!!
The poor child. I just feel sad for the baby, who is more or less doomed.
Give the child to wolves, they’ll do a better job raising him/her.
No kidding eh?
Cheers Ms Mort! 🙂
Hi Skuddles!
Hope all is well with you!
Life is swell Ms Mort (aside from a bad case of the swampboobs thanks to this constant humidity). 😀 Hope things are all good in your world too!
Cheers m’lady, clink!!
Ooops duplicate
I can never understand why women date those men who are violent and abusive. I know nobody knows if the guy they are dating is violent or not until they actually live with them but here it is Michael Lohan. Everybody knows about his behaviour still women date him. Uhh!
Ugh! Poor poor baby 🙁
Tho to be fair, all babies are born innocent so pls pls pls don’t let this one become another Lohan screw up
Tho what happened to his other daughter, the one born to some other woman b/wn Ali and Cody? Anyone know??
I think ML announced that he had taken a paternity test for he Maury Povitch show. He must be the girl’s father or else I am sure he would have announced his innocence to the world.
Hey Ruby, Bess
That ‘other’ kid is definetly a ‘Lohan’, she looks just like him, unfortunately!
Thanks Bess, Mads – guessing she’s not a famewh0re like the other Lohan girls so maybe she has very few of his genes (apart from looks then) – fingers crossed!!
1) Better than Dina
2) This is not good for Lindsay
3) Furniture is meant to be hauled into womens faces
4) Sex -> cops -> balcony = same shit different day
Who am I ?
a) Michael Lohan
b) not Michael Lohan
c) Lohan, any
It’s wonderful that they will be bringing this child into such a stable and loving home.
I’m a bit jaded, but I’m thinking it’s a publicity thing and it’s not true, and I’m waiting for the miscarriage announcement in 3…2…
Stupid is as stupid does, I guess.
Belle, READ YOUR EMAIL.
Mail call for Mort & Bess too!
LOL
Best headline – ever.
I’m ready to contribute to the kid’s therapy fund. Poor little thing.
I’M willing to contribute to the Sterilise Michael Lohan Fund.
Castration may be a better idea with a similar result………..
🙂
I think Kate should pull a Lorena Bobbit on him – and dammit Kate, hide that thing but good lest they find it and reattach it! 😉
This awful to say, but I hope he isn’t the father. One crappy parent is enough, two is a crime against nature. Especially if your last name is Lohan.
Great. Another child for him to f-ck up. Just what the world needs is another Lohan spawn.
Wait — she dated Jon Gosseling AND Michael Lohan??? I’m pretty sure that’s enough legal evidence to commit this woman to a mental institution.
Ahahaha!! LOVE it.
I think these two look good together maybe the baby is a second chance for them to fix their lives and have a normal happy life. It is possible…if they truly want to.
50 year old men don’t change. She might have a small chance of getting her shit together; but unless he develops alzheimers or some other profound brain disease his personality is what it’s always gonna be.
Almost like a modern day Romeo and Juliet aren’t they?
Taylor Swift should sing about this epic love story.
Weren’t these two gems on Celebrity Rehab together?? EEKS. 🙁 Poor Baby.
this poor, poor baby. the world sure can be unfair sometimes.
Daily Mail has some pictures of her. He belly is pretty big for someone in her 1st trimester. If she really is in her 1st, she is going to be GIGANTIC by the end. I say this because I was huge at 40 weeks (& 6 days)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2174413/Shes-definitely-pregnant-Kate-Major-reveals-baby-bump-time-announces-shes-expecting-Michael-Lohan.html
This is the worst possible news.
please Holy Saint Angelina, come rescue the child and enlist her/him in your childarmy to take over the world!
These people are both vile and morally bankrupt. Michael especially should know to not have more children, as it’s clear he’s passed on his addiction issues to at least one of them already – and probably triggered them by being such a crappy father. If Kate had two brain cells to rub together, she’d take this wake up call as an opportunity to leave Michael for good. Sadly, I don’t see it happening. I’m sure she thinks she has the next Cracken movie star baking in her oven and wants to keep everyone aware that her baby is LiLo’s half sister.
Speaking honestly and seriously:
I hope that baby will be taken away from both of them.
Seriously.I know this isn’t possible, but what IS is the lethal, idiotic, toxic, DANGEROUS, abusive, illegal, addictive condition of both of these…’people’
A uterus does NOT a mother make and a penis is just as useless. we can only pray that both of these criminal loons will get into serious trouble (gauranteed) repeatedly (guaranteed) and that finally, the child will be taken and put into the foster care and/or adoption.
And for all the women out there who FIGHT their infertility and psycho’s procreate, keep fighting cause we need all the good mum’s out there we can get.
God.