Finally! Here’s the sanctioned and official photo shoot from W Magazine’s August cover story, featuring Charlize Theron and Michael Fassbender promoting Prometheus, because it’s not like that movie didn’t come out seven weeks ago. Oh, wait. I previewed the photo shoot yesterday, and last week I wrote an open letter to Charlize telling her to BACK OFF The Fassbender. Did she listen? Of course not. Now, I get that a lot of you Charlize-loonies think that she and Fassy are hot together and you think they’re boning of course, because how could ANY dude not want to hit it with your ice queen? But I’m still of the opinion that Charlize has an uncomfortable, one-sided attraction to Fassy and she’s really trying to make it happen, and he’s just not into it. You know what it reminds me of? The way Julia Roberts was (and probably still is) with Clive Owen. Julia is ALL ABOUT Clive and he’s like, “Eh, she’s nice. But does she know I’m married?” Anyway, some highlights from W’s interview (you can read the full piece here):
Charlize on her Young Adult character and Michael’s Shame character: “I would like to see a romantic comedy between those two characters.”
Fassy on the first Charlize Theron movie he ever saw: “The Devil’s Advocate. I knew nothing about it before I went, and during the movie I thought, Well, who’s this person? I had no idea what the movie was about.
Charlize on her first Fassy movie: “Hunger. A friend said, “You have to see this movie. It’s the best thing I’ve seen in my entire life.” I thought, Just chill out, okay? But I was absolutely blown away by it. It was, like, all bets are off from now on. This is the guy.”
Fassy on how he dies in so many movies: “I try to die in most films I do. In 300 I was killed by arrows. In Inglourious Basterds I got my testicles blown off through my ass… I had two exit wounds sewn into my pants: one on each butt cheek. It was a great death.”
Fassy on sex scenes versus death scenes: “I don’t know. Sex scenes sound like more fun than they are. Death scenes are easier, really. Maybe because I’ve died so many times. I’ve had a lot of practice. In my movies, I’m often naked or dying.”
A funny exchange:
W: What’s harder to do? A death scene or a sex scene?
CT: It depends on who you’re doing the sex scene with. I don’t have issues being naked [pauses]. That sounds very slutty.
MF: Kind of. I didn’t want to say anything, but yes.
CT: What I mean is, I’m not hung up on my body, and I’ve been lucky to work with people I’ve been really comfortable with. I’ve had maybe two occasions where…
MF: It’s been uncomfortable.
CT: And Michael’s one of the two who did not make me feel very comfortable [laughter].
MF: I was a robot!
I like where he (jokingly!) slut-shames her. I would imagine he’s friendly and nice to all of his costars and SOME of them just read it the wrong way and convince themselves that Fassy is their immortal beloved (coughCharlizecough). Now, I completely understand how that can happen, which is why I haven’t issued a Fassy-fatwa on Charlize. I can’t hate her too hard because WE ARE THE SAME. I too could easily convince myself that Fassy is my immortal beloved and perhaps if I just organize a sketchy, leather-clad photo shoot and shove his face into my biscuits while he’s hanging upside down… maybe THEN HE WOULD LOVE ME.
Photos courtesy of W Magazine.
WTF!! these pictures are awful and make no sense! And they are not hot at all.
that’s what I said yesterday! lol peeps were all like these pics are giving me life, and I am like…noooooooo, these pics are ruining my sexy fassy for me!
To be honest, maybe it’s because of the make up or the lighting, but I almost didn’t recognized her in most of the pics.
I dont feel any romatic chemistry between them! those pics just look uncomfortable.
It’s W. They’re all about the ahht, dahling.
They wish. They’re just trying to call dibs on the “hey we photographed two celebrities!” schtick, like Interview is all about “hey here’s Jack Nicholson interviewing January Jones”.
These pictures would had about the same effect (meaning not very much) with models. Seeing photos of these two interacting naturally would have been much more interesting… photo assumption and all…
Also, these faux “couple” photos just needlessly aggravate the female/gay fans. I always loved Rebecca Hall until they posed her rubbing up on Jon Hamm (and until she apparently skeeved with that fugly Mr. Winslet fellow). Anyway, hands off the Hamm/Fassy/etc.!
I’m not feeling the vibe between these two. These pics are awkward at best.
They should have incorporated a third girl into the mix and styled her as an “android” and made it into a “love triangle” themed shoot instead. That would have been more interesting.
Theron + Fassy = BORING!
I don’t get their hype.
im not seeing any chemistry in the pics.
I was thinking the same thing! They seem kinda stiff together…right?
Maybe the photographer wanted her to be sensual and him to be robotic?
Next time, I hope they remember to install “David’s” emotion chip before the shoot starts! GHAH!
Sorry these two are not doing it for me.
They just look like they are trying hard
to be sexy but Fail.
Not liking those pictures, he looks alright but she looks pretty bad. The dress is pretty awesome though..
Also, am I the only one who didn’t realize he was in either of those movies?
You’re not the only one. I did’nt know who he was till yesterday when i asked who he was on this site! Had to watch X-men last nite to see!
Those leather pants on Fassy are not working for me.
She’s so aggressive…in one interview together I thought she was going to jump the poor guy.
You can tell she wants his d*ck really bad but he’s scared of her lol
He just doesn’t seem into her at all.
Well, in my experience the amount of aggressiveness in courtship is not something you can do much to change.
I tend to be fairly aggressive with guys I don’t really care about emotionally. I tend to get extremely shy with guys I have crushes on. And I tend to be extremely friendly and nice to pretty much everybody, and get mistaken often (more like all the time, what is it with guys that makes them think when you smile at them, you’re interested?!), so I can relate to both of them.
Srsly, Zuckenberg had quite the thinking there when he invented the “relationship status” and “interested in” thing.
I’m the same with crushes. Because of my shyness I usually attract guys I don’t want. Meh, practice makes perfect, I’ll get over it some day.
The same for me! I’m open and chatty with men I don’t care for and guys always think I’m flirting with them (I’m not, it’s called being nice!). But guys I like, I clam up, though I’m getting better at NGaF and having confidence no matter how pretty they are.
I don’t think she’s the kind of guurl to take “no” for an answer. Especially since probably 99 % of the men she’s after will jump at the opportunity. Unfortunately for her, as luck will have it, Fassy is in the improbable 1 %.
Just youtube the Oscar Roundtable with Charlize, Fassy, Clooney and others – she is all but SITTING on him.
She irritates me at times, but I tend to agree – I can’t blame her. And it’s horrible when you’ve got your eye on someone who really doesn’t think the same way as you.
We have to handed it to her though. She’s not afraid to come off as desperate. But what’s with Fassy’s slut-shaming? For someone who has done quite audacious photo shoots for Shame, this seems a bit hypocritical doesn’t?
Charlize + Fassdong = Unsexy.
This is such a goofy W spread, it looks like a parody of a W spread.
That is too funny….and I absolutely agree!
if someone told me they had pictures of an erotic photoshoot of fassy and charlize theron i would expect a little more than those shitty pics.
What in tarnation kind of pose is that?
if you’re referring to #3…i call that ’69 in-a-cradle’.
i’m feeling pretty slutty today myself. 😉
Yes,i’m talking about that one,now,if she only put her face straight to his peen ,then it would look more interesting than that,rather than shying away from it,you know she wants it!Then i’ll feel more slutty too!lol!
who knows, perhaps there was a smell.
maybe Fassy needs to give his undercarriage a lil ‘hows ya father’. 😀
***
trivia: what’s ‘the’ best 69 scene in a film hands down?
Viggo Mortensen & Maria Bello chowin’ down in
‘A History of Violence’.
don’t even get me started on the stairs scene!
*feel-in’ slutterific* 😉
This isn’t working, no chemistry.
I’d rather they made a photoshoot with Michael and Noomi or Noomi and Logan Marshall-Green. They were lovely in Prometheus.
For shizzle!
Rapace and Fassbender played well off of each other there at the end.
Honestly, nothing against Ms. Theron, but her character’s development in Prometheus seemed forced and kind of haphazardly thrown into the plot. They could have cut her character out for all I cared.
And the ship’s captain reminded me of Chef from South Park. I made mention of this observation to my husband while in the theater and thereafter, whenever the captain said his lines on-screen, my husband would lean over and whisper in his best Chef voice, “you got to find the clitoris”. I was laughing so hard at one point, I almost had to leave the theater.
She is draining the hot right out of him it’s like she is a sexiness vampire!
Hilarious!
W Magazine has not had a HOT cover spread in forever.
I don’t like these pictures. It just feels so TRY TOO HARD. Both of these people are attractive, but that doesn’t mean there is going to be chemistry. I don’t see any chemistry. And this spread does not fit Charlize. I don’t see her in a bondage situation. I think this is more for her next movie then anything else.
Sexy doesn’t have to be so in your face. It simply is. You don’t have to have two people all tied up and in awkward poses to say sexy.
And obviously Charlize is trying to add to her image. The man is not into her. he has a girlfriend and is not into her at all. It is a bit much that she keeps pushing it. And yes men jokingly say things but sometimes the joke is speaking the truth. she needs to bark up another tree.
You can totally tell that Fassy isn’t into it…Charlize is a bit too pale for him. It probably pisses her off to no end.
Hey @mln76…I just finished typing my comment, & just saw yours. Yes…we are in agreement here, right?
I agree, both look they are trying very hard to be into each other. Also, she has a child now and I don’t see Fassy dating women who have children, probably isn’t his thing to be Uncle Mike.
Totally agree…for a woman that looks like Charlize that’s really got to burn though.
What is that? 50 shades of grey ten years after??
50 shades of unsexy
Does he get so many questions about sex, sex-scenes, type of women he likes, his peen, sex,… ets., ets. because he talks happily about it?Or he talks about it anyway?
I’m getting sort of “try hard” vibe from him.Not really sexy.
It reminds me of Askars: people always asks him about nude scene, how he is confidente with being naked…meh.
Sooo, ASkars isn’t afraid to get naked on screen…and same with Charlize..hmm interesting. WHY isn’t there a sex tape?!
He doesn’t bring the topic up. He’s asked about it and then answers frankly, which encourages more reporters to ask more questions. I wouldn’t say he’s try-hard at all, just not very savvy about celebrity “journalism” and how to deflect.
I think they are both incredibly attractive people. However, this pics are corny and they have no chemistry at all, or maybe the facial expressions or so overwrought that I just can’t buy them!
Michael Fassbender’s “type” is women of color….NOT causcasian women. I’m surprised Kaiser didn’t mention this when writing an article mentioning attraction/chemistry and Michael Fassbender.
Yes, it seems kind of obvious to me Charlize has “made herself available” & has been politely rebuffed by Fassbender….just my impressions. And…this has occurred on such a public forum (a magazine interview/article no less)…maybe Charlize should just move on…..God knows if I had done/said what Charlize did….and was politely rebuffed…that’s what I’D DO….for sure!
I’m a bit surprised Charlize didn’t already know that (Fassbenders “type”), but maybe she did, and her attraction was so strong she thought she’d just go for it???
Yes, I think Charlize is gorgeous…but you know, it’s NOT ALL ABOUT LOOKS. There’s so much more at play when it comes to attraction. Honestly, I think when it comes to sexual attraction/chemistry, it can all boil down to A MOLECULAR LEVEL….& despite how good one looks/appears….that may not “do it” for the other person.
Kaiser has mentioned about 1,000,000 times that Fassy *seems* to prefer dark-skinned women. It kind of grates on me when people make blanket statements that he *ONLY* dates brown-skinned women as if he has some sort of fetish. Personally, I’ve dated black guys in the past and my boyfriend now is black (I’m white) but in between that I’ve dated dudes of all different colors-white, brown etc. Sometimes you just fall in love with who you fall in love with and it has nothing to do with a “type” or a skin color preference. *shrugs*
+1
ITA. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again awful pictures. Can we please stop with the ‘Shame’ stuff editors, the poignancy of that film seems to be lost on them.
Yes, yes and…YES!! I’m a black woman and I agree. No need to point out his so-called “type” anyway as if we need validation. Love to get to the point where it’s just not a big effing deal!!
@Kimbob…do however agree with your comment about it being “molecular”. Clearly attraction is just energy doing its thing! 😉
+2
Fassy has dated Asian, White, Black, Mixed race women. Tall, medium and short women. Every type under the sun. Dating one Black woman doesn’t mean that is the only type of woman he will date from now to eternity anymore than dating an Asian woman means he only dated Asian women from then on. Difference between a fetish and dating based on shared interests.
I’ve dated Black and Latino men doesn’t mean I have some kind of fetish for only Black and Latino men. I date White men too. Would date an Asian man if we connect. Someone needs to tell that woman the ‘once you go Black you never go back’ rule is just a joke.
Meh, I don’t think she’s interested in him at all. I think they’re just good mates, get on really well and are very comfortable with each other. That’s what I get from any interviews they’ve done together. If anything, I think she’s just enjoying the fact that she knows he’s hot property and gets to tease people a bit with the relationship they have. And really, slut-shaming? To me, and I would guess most (certainly British/Irish) people, that’s just playful banter, and these two playing off each other.
But I don’t like this shoot at all. It’s way too contrived.
+1
CT just seems like a guy’s gal and completely comfortable with herself.
+3
Charlize it seems is misunderstood at times. She has an outrageous, uproarious personality. You can’t believe everything she says. She’s taking the piss most of the time.
It seemed like she was having fun playing up Fassbender’s sexy image, thanks to some of his films, comments.
The flirting and ribbing was much more intense w/ Will Smith on the Hancock press tour. And I think she really did have the hots for Smith – her words.
But I doubt she had sex with him.
Finally, this cheesy photoshop crap has to go. And Kaiser just get a tan, you can still have the Fassy.
“And Kaiser just get a tan, you can still have the Fassy.”
Kaiser is dark-skinned, I believe. She has said she has Indian heritage many times.
Yes! The Hancock press tour was Will and Charlize all over each other. There was definitely off-screen chemistry there.
+1
These pictures are incredibly UNsexy.
Oh hurry up.. this place is dank and hard, the clothes to pose in photographers..
Huh, well don’t complain, Heidi posed on a mound of real scissors..
Yeah well..
This was awesome. Thanks, Kaiser. This is the charming Fassy we know and love. I love Charlize to death but she doesn’t have a chance in hell with him. Her comment about her YA character and his Shame character starring in a rom com cracked me up.
But yeah, these photos are terribly unsexy and try-hard. They’re both gorgeous people but this spread really shows some serious awkwardness and lack of chemistry IMO.
Kaiser-you make us Fassy fans so happy! Thanks again!
Kitty!!!!! Yes I love love love Michaels wittiness in his answers, you know there is a bit of truth behind each of his answers that just makes him that much more irresistable! YUM
@Kaiser. I am having a really shitty week and the Fass coverage … the top picture with Fass and ME superinposed over CT bitch … and I feel immediately better~ THANK YOU
Sorry to hear about your week, Chat. Hope eveything is ok-at least it’s almost Friday! 😀
I know right? He’s one of the few dudes that I gush about. He’s just so funny and seems so genuine. Fassy love fest!
PS-I like to just block Charlize out with my hand. Next step is to just straight-up crop her ass out of the pic altogether.
Ah Kit, just one of those crap weeks where nothing seems to go right and everything bothers you and I can’t even blame it on PMS!
Hell, at this point, I’d cash in my 401K to buy him for a weekend at my shore house! I know, I sound as cheap as CT BUT I DON’T CARE…
LOL! My IRA probably wouldn’t even buy me a few hours 🙁
Yes but I am older then you so I’ve had longer to save. 🙂
And for Matt Boner I’d sell the shore house for a weekend … anywhere!
What does this say about me…Fassy likes darkskin women and Matt has a same sex life partner (although HE is my age)? 🙁
I think the best line of the article is at the end:
I too could easily convince myself that Fassy is my immortal beloved and perhaps if I just organize a sketchy, leather-clad photo shoot and shove his face into my biscuits while he’s hanging upside down… maybe THEN HE WOULD LOVE ME.
Kaiser, you had me laugh so hard with that line I almost peed my bed >.<
Those pictures suck. She looks like hell, especially in that ugly dress. My Fassy should know better than to wear leather pants, they don’t look good on him at all.
+ 1
this lady needs a better vibrator -_-
lol what
I bet they have made out before and it was HOT as hell
It doesn’t look like a very comfortable place to have sex. That metal floor would be murder on your back and knees.
First I wanna start by saying I love Michael through thick and thin no matter what to the ends of the earth . I would be on my knees for him in a micro- second. But I wish interviewers would STOP asking him about sex and his penis. There is way more to this man then just sex. I do realize that sex sells but I want more of him . This was just my rant for the day . 😀
+1,000,000
Save the sex questions for the boring actors like A. Pettyfer.
Fassy is actually interesting and funny and can bring so much more to the interview than just dong-talk.
I don’t really mind the dong-talk but what I really want is to have a face to face with his dong! LOL
LMAO! THIS is why I love you, Chat 🙂
Yes, a face-to-face would by ideal. Maybe have your people call his dong (does his dong have “people”?) to arrange a “meeting”? 😉
Well if anybody’s dong should “have people” it’s Fassy’s! Yes, I’ve been “shamed” (meaning I’ve seen the movie) 🙂
LOL!!! Okay Kitty and Chatty!! You two are officially my favorite posters on this blog!!
I sprayed my carpet with my juice when I saw these comments…
Hi Girly! Yes we are a bit Fass’atical here…because he is simply Fass’tastic.
The things I would discuss with this man…the things I would do with this man are simply Shame’ful 🙂
Oh, and for some reason I’ve been humming the tune of “Ding DONG the witch is dead” all day today…and I ain’t thinking about any witch that is for sure!
@Chatty! LOL!! Love it when a hot guy inspires that kind of PASSION…
Okay really…you should write a romance novel starring you and the Fassman! Make it for Kindle and I’ll be the first to buy it! Until then, I’ll be looking for your comments on future Fassy posts…
Hmmm.
You have to understand the psychology behind this. Charlize Theron is VERY much into Fassbender. You can see it in all of their interviews, all of their public appearances, etc. Look at her body language. She wants him bad. She is desperate. Charlize Theron is also aware of the fact that Fassbender will be starring with Noomi Rapace in Prometheus 2 (and probably 3) while Theron’s character, Meredith Vickers, died in Prometheus.
So the only opportunity she got now to getting close to him is making Fassbender do a hot photoshoot with her. And oh how convenient, they both have been in W Magazine before. So my guess is that:
1) Charlize Theron talks W Magazine into it.
2) Fassbender says yes. NOT because he REALLY wants to do it, but because of the fact that she is Charlize “Academy Award Winner” Theron. It’s good for his acting career. It gives that extra boost. Besides, it makes more fangirls swoon and keeps him on the Top Sexy Male Actors list.
3) Look at the energy behind this photoshoot. Charlize Theron is very aggressive, dominating. While Fassbender is not really emotionally involved and seems to be doing it without big enthusiasm. He is actually almost scared of Charlize Theron’s energy.
We have to keep in mind that Fassbender has a girlfriend and that makes Charlize Theron probably more desperate, knowing that he is taken. And remember Charlize Theron’s speech where she said that she “want to work with Fassbender’s d**k”? Well, there you have it.
They both did a very good job in Prometheus. But I like the characters, not the actors behind them.
….and WHYYYYY no one noticed that CT and MF had a Sex Scene (David/Vickers) in Prometheus? It was probably cut (will hopefully be in the extended edition Prometheus DVD) – but LOOK they are totally spilling it in this interview:
“MF: It’s been uncomfortable.
CT: And Michael’s one of the two who did not make me feel very comfortable [laughter].
MF: I was a robot!”
Another day another photo. These just leave me cold. i hope Fassy is’nt becoming “Hollywood” he says he does’nt like it but everything points to selling out.
He is sexy without all the whips, chains, limpet women, leather pants.
I fear he is going to do that 50 shade movie and become another Gerard Butler..in rehab and in portapotties.
The Fassy love is fading fast….Cumberbach tumblr here i come.
Okay, at the risk of running into the “G-Butler” firing squad…let’s not dump on the poor guy. I certainly can’t defend his actions but my heart still stands with the man.
Fassbender and Butler, given their sexy, Irish, Alpha Male connection are in different leagues…
These two are as sexy as a cold cup of coffee together. The pics are way to contrived and there’s absolutely no chemistry between them. Pass.
Lol! and so true (y)
Wow, these comments are slightly cray cray. And I can’t get on board with Fassy the person. I like Fassy the actor. But the person may or may not be guilty of domestic violence. And if it weren’t for all the critical acclaim and the shadowy girlfriend, this bit of news would have been a much bigger ordeal.
As for Charlize, I think it’s funny that people are trying to create an argument that Fassy doesn’t want her or that there is any sort of wanting on either end. Charlize is without a doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. She doesn’t need this dude. Creatively, sure. But physically, she can do much better. Sorry Kaiser, much love <3.
ITA with you about Charlize. I don’t think she’s the “most beautiful woman in the world” but I really don’t see her crying into her pillow at night over Fassy. It seems like she had some fun flirtation with him and that’s it.
As far as Fassy The Woman Beater. Personally, I give people the benefit of the doubt when it’s a case of being convicted in the “court of public opinion”. It was her word against his and charges were dropped. This is not like Chris Brown where we had pictures of a brutal beating or Mel Gibson’s constant rage-capades captured on audio. Sorry, but it’s just unfair to crucify a guy’s reputation based on one isolated incident that was never proven.
That being said, if he has another “questionable” incident with domestic violence, I think most Fassy fans will dump him because where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
This.
It’s so strange how gossip sites constantly imagine women are panting after men who don’t want them. That’s not the way the world works. And Charlize Theron? Who could get just about anyone she wanted? She’s far too good for Fassbender, who even if he isn’t an abuser, is nothing special.
well then, we were all born sluts because we were born naked and happy.
These pics are boring and unsexy.
I love how there is a little bit of Fassy crack in that one pic!!!
I think people are desperate to have a new Hottest guy and the next hottest couple.
Thing is hot couples just happen. It can’t be predicted or invented. I just think Fassbender is unfortunately falling into a niche in his interviews. It works on women, but I don’t know if he has that much needed male audience yet. And in my mind that is necessary for longevity. Women fawning all over him is not what he needs. Sorry women’s taste change so much. Now it is Fassbender until the next guy comes.
Agreed. He is going for that much needed audience by doing Assassins Creed. This link from a Canadian Men’s Mag includes an interesting essay:
http://sharpformen.com/culture/fassbender-on-fassbender/
They are both so beautiful and sexy, but this photo shoot really is awful. They have no chemistry in these pictures. For a contrast, I’d like to point everyone to this picture of Joseph Gordon Levitt and Claudia Schiffer (who I would never have thought to put together but HOT DAMN):\
http://28.media.tumblr.com/jCcfUD4Nmhjdy8fgC8KhbSGko1_500.jpg
Isn’t Charlize a new mom? Shouldn’t she be focusing her energies on her son for a few months before trying to jump someones bones? I know people are going to disagree with me but I just can’t imagine wanting to run around with guys when I have my adorable bundle at home. I know there comes a time when single moms want to date and maybe have their hookups but geeze can’t she lay off of it for a few months.
OMG, its so 50 shades of boring.
He’s a good actor but he’s trying way too hard to be sexy/cool/funny. Such a turn off.
Stop bitching about Charlize! Just accept that she has a bit of a crush on him, and they are friendly. Charlize kicks ass hard whether she is kind of pathetically into Fassbender or not. She’s talented, hot, and funny. You guys make it sound like she’s a mousy wallflower who just got stood up for prom.
I’m not bitching about Charlize…I am complete f*cking jealous of her! I mean did you see picture #1…I want my hands to be where her’s are damn it!
I am talented, hot and funny in my own way so why can’t I pose in leather with him huh? Some damn women get everything. Hmph.
Charlize knows how to pose people…what are you talking about…her face is incredible… That Fassbender guy is ruining the pictures…He’s couldn’t be more wrong. Charlize on the other hand needed to be photographed solo!
Charlize’s comment about how they should make a romantic comedy with her character in “Young Adult” and Fassbender’s in “Shame” was funny and clever. Good sense of humor.
Oh, no. I actually laughed out loud at the butt cleavage photo.
It’s like a “sexy” Scientology photo session.
A little of my Fassy lust has died with this shoot. I think Fassy’s getting bored talking about himself. With all who have pointed out how unsexy these photos are.