Oh, Gwyneth. She’s gives us so much pain, so much joy, so much laughter and so many tears. After taking a “Goop holiday” (Goopiday?) for three-and-a-half months, Gwyneth’s little Goop blog is back. The Goop site got a complete redesign (which isn’t all that user-friendly, honestly), and Gwyneth is now offering a “Goop Collection” which consists of a pair of $200 jeans, a $90 white t-shirt, and a new addition: bikinis. All of which are offered in no size larger than 8. Anyway, this week’s Goop-letter – her first since the first week of April – is all about “travel”. Here’s what Goop has to say:

A little trip away in the summer is exciting and rejuvenating, especially if you can’t take all of August off like the Italians/French do. Always looking for a new idea or two, we asked some cool travel experts to point us in the right direction.

Love,
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[Via Goop]

Is it just me or is that carefully worded? “A little trip away in the summer is exciting and rejuvenating, especially if you can’t take all of August off like the Italians/French do.” Gwyneth usually takes August off, like an Italian or a Frenchwoman too. I get the feeling Goop is not in her wheelhouse with this one, this whole idea of a “short vacation” or a “little trip” – it’s such a peasanty-y concept, don’t you know? The elites get to take vacations for the whole summer. Anyway, the rest of the Goop-letter just reads like a travel brochure, as Gwyneth offers suggestions and advice for where peasants should go for their “little trips”.

In other Gwyneth news, she’s in talks to take another lead role in a film. Because Hollywood doesn’t understand that America is no longer interested in seeing Goop carry a film, I guess. But don’t think that Goop will be going old-school and doing some costume drama (how gauche!). No, Goop is in talks to play… a CHEF! She might take the lead in the film adaptation of Gabrielle Hamilton’s 2011 “foodie memoir” Blood, Bones & Butter. THR says, “Like Paltrow, Hamilton is something of a jack-of-all-trades. The owner and chef of New York’s Prune restaurant also is a trained writer with an MFA from the University of Michigan. The book chronicles Hamilton’s unconventional background — she is the youngest of five siblings born to a French mother and an artist father who made the sets for the Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey Circus — as well as her unorthodox trajectory to becoming a chef.” Well, the actual woman sounds very interesting, but I can’t say I’m all that interested in seeing Goop simper and smug her way through a movie about any of this.

Photos courtesy of WENN.