This came out Friday afternoon, but I didn’t feel like doing some breaking news coverage because at the end of the day, Justin Timberlake is still a douche-wang. As we discussed last week, Justin’s “friend” Justin Huchel made a mock video thing in which Huchel paid homeless people $40 each (if that?) to say prewritten lines like “Hey, I’m sorry I can’t make it to your fancy Italian wedding that costs $6.5 million, because I’m like homeless and stuff, and this is super-funny” (I’m paraphrasing). The story came out the same day Justin’s wedding photos debuted in People Magazine, so it was not only embarrassing, it was just awful timing for him. But Justin owned the situation (not really) and issued an apology letter (eh). I might need a stiff drink to get through this:

AN OPEN LETTER:

To my family, friends, and fans:

The last time I wrote a letter like this, it was when I had the good fortune of attending a once in a lifetime experience by sharing an evening with some of America’s finest at the Marine Corps Ball about a year ago. I was so moved by that night, I wanted to share it with everyone. Unfortunately, this letter holds a different kind of weight for me.

Normally, as some of you know, I am (by nature) a pretty private person. So, I don’t really take it upon myself to comment on things that so often go misunderstood or something that has even shed any kind of dark light on what was and will always be one of the most special weeks of my life. But, in light of the recent events, I can’t fight the urge to clarify my thoughts and feelings on what has been a very upsetting portrayal of the people closest to me and myself. It’s not who I am as a professional or as a man.

I can’t help but think of one of the many great life lessons my Grandfather has taught me… He told me when I was younger that “Sometimes, you are confronted with challenges in life that perhaps are not your own. And, when those moments arise, the right thing for a man to do is accept that responsibility, whatever it may be, and face it with honesty and humility.”

So, I’m taking his advice. If for no other reason, than to clear the air so no one has to ever wonder how I feel about it.

I’d like to start off by saying that I don’t live my life making fun of people (unless, of course, I’m making fun of myself on SNL)… Especially, those who are less fortunate or those in need. I grew up with a family and community that instilled ideals in me like hard work, honesty and empathy. As a matter of fact, growing up in Tennessee, I was always taught that we as people, no matter what your race, sex, or stature may be, are equal. We have a saying there that “Everyone puts their pants on the same way(maybe this saying doesn’t apply to guys who wear kilts. Although, I’m sure they put theirs on the same way too…)”

As it pertains to this silly, unsavory video that was made as a joke and not in any way in mockery:

1. I had no knowledge of its existence. I had absolutely ZERO contribution to it.

2. My friends are good people. This was clearly a lapse in judgment which I’m sure no one who is reading this is exempt from. But, I don’t believe it was made to be insensitive. More so, I think it was made as a joke on me not having that many friends attending my own wedding (which IS kind of funny if you think about it).

3. Like many silly rumors that I have been made aware of about the week: It was NOT shown at my wedding.

4. I think we can all agree that it was distasteful, even though that was not it’s intention.
Once again, in the world that we live in where everyone thinks that they know everything, I want to be very clear… I am NOT defending the video. I agree with the overall consensus. But, to use another “pants” analogy… It seems that these days, misconception gets around the world before the actual truth even wakes up and gets it’s pants on.

I want to say that, on behalf of my friends, family, and associative knuckleheads, I am deeply sorry to anyone who was offended by the video. Again, it was something that I was not made aware of. But, I do understand the reaction and, by association, I am holding myself accountable.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my thoughts. It really is a blessing to be able to speak directly to my true fans so that you can know exactly where I stand.

-Justin

P.S. You can bet your ass that I’m having my friend do at least 100 hours of community service… Boom.

[From TMZ]

A few points I’d like to make:

1. When issuing a public apology in the form of an open letter, get someone to proof said letter. The its/it’s error is common enough, and many people make it, but it says to me “Justin is a guy so full of himself that he thinks he knows better than Spellcheck.”

2. Does anyone think the most “for real” moment is when Justin basically admits that he has very few friends? I think it was supposed to be a “joke” (like the homeless video), but it seemed the most authentic part of the letter.

3. I hate that we have to go nine or ten paragraphs before we get to the meat of the apology. I’m glad that he offered an apology, though. At least he owned it partially and with a lot of other bullsh-t thrown in.

4. I do believe that it wasn’t his idea, and that he didn’t contribute anything to it (as in, he didn’t ask for a video and he wasn’t like, “Dude, that would SO funny.”). That being said, this is one of his closest friends, right? That STILL speaks volumes about who Justin chooses to hang out with.

5. The P.S. is crap. Justin sounds like an arrogant douche who “orders” his friends around. BOOM.

Photos courtesy of WENN.