I kept forgetting that it was Halloween yesterday. I’ve become like the Ebenezer Scrooge of Halloween – for too many years, I dutifully bought candy for the neighborhood children, only to get absolutely no one knocking at my door. They all go to Halloween parties at their churches or schools these days. And it’s even worse this year because of the awful Frankenstorm Sandy. So, when I saw these photos of Jessica Simpson all dressed up for Halloween, my actual response was “Bah humbug!”
Upon closer examination, I’m still failing to see what Jessica is supposed to be. Did Jessica and Eric Johnson so couple’s costumes? He’s Braveheart and she’s… Braveheart’s wench? In Braveheart’s time, did they have corsets and bustiers? Other sites are going with “sexy milkmaid” but I’m not even seeing that. I think people just look at Jessica’s boobs and think of milk, you know? Oh, and everyone is making a big deal about Jessica showing off her weight loss in this costume. Sure. She does look very slim, slimmer than she’s looked in months. Look at the tops of her legs! She’s been walking/running a lot, I bet. Still, the corset is doing some of the work. Let’s be real. Now, I do think Maxwell looks adorable. That baby-chicken costume is wonderful.
In People Magazine’s coverage of these photos, they mentioned Jessica’s parents’ divorce and how it’s affecting her. A source tells People: “She’s going on with everything. She’s sad, but she’s okay.” But how does she really feel about her father taking his cut of everything she does so that he can fund his boy-toys?
photos courtesy of Jessica’s Twitter and Fame/Flynet.
She looks like a slutty Dolly Parton in that corset and her boyfriend/ Fiancé looks awful
She looks like WILLAM from RuPauls Drag Race. It’s not a joke. BTW We all know that she is lazy and I wonder how many lipos she had in last few months.
She does look like Willam. You nailed it. ahha
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OMG! I THOUGHT IT WAS JOE SIMPSON DISGUISED AS JESSICA, WITH FAKE TRIPLE X BOOBS, FOR A HALLOWENN COMING-OUT BASH WHILE TRYING TO HIT ON ERIC JOHNSON! TEEHEE!!! I feel bad for hat “chiken mcnugget” though…money can’t buy you love or a decent family.
Wow, why with the hate?
I sort of get it, I have long been weary of Jessica Simpson this, Jessica that. But I’ve got to give the girl real kudos for working out and looking that great so soon after having a baby. Granted, she has a trainer and an endorsement to back her up. Most women aren’t lucky enough to look like that so soon after birth. But I think she and her family look adorable.
And that baby…AWWW! If I ever got a hold of baby chicken-Maxwell, she’d be in serious danger of me smooshing her to death. Cuteness overload!
Me, too. I think she looks gorgeous.
That baby is adorable. Why is Kato Kaelin holding her?
Thank you, Jessica looks great! Such haters. I need to stop reading this blog for a while. It can be so negative sometimes. Body shaming, judging and jealousy.
Manly Jessica Simpson has been morphing into her dad Joe Simpson, same broad husky horse face, same tree trunk legs. Ugh.
Baby chicken!!!!!
omg this baby is so cute! I am loving Jessica’s weight loss progress…really rooting for her!
She looks awesome! Getting her body back!
She looks like something out of Zena warrior Princess but I think her face looks beautiful. I like it.
Look at her waist and legs! She looks fabulous…good for her 🙂
And her baby…what a cute little doll!
Yes. Even with the help of the corset, she looks good. And that baby is such a cutie. 🙂
Think they’re supposed to be Hillbillies? Think it makes a cute family picture and she’s done really well on the weight front.
Joe Simpson’s boyfriend looks so much like Jessica, I thought this was him at first, dressed up as a medieval drag queen.
Eeewww….you are SO right! WOnder if THAT will come up in any counseling sessions!!! bahahaha!!!
OMG the baby in the chicken costume!!!
Gah!
I don’t really understand why they would want to dress up as William Wallace and his lady?
Baby is adorable though. That pic of them looks so funny because they are a bit mismatched!
I don’t get how the chicken works into the costumes. And her legs are stumpy.
Maybe they are going to eat the chicken for supper?
Does it have to tie-in? That baby chicken is so ridiculously cute that I think they should dress her in it until she claws her way out. Having expressed that, I did not dress my own chubba bubba for Halloween.
The baby costume doesn’t have to tie in. But it’s clear they are in the Highlands, and, after narrowly escaping being captured by the English army, they stole a chicken from a nearby cottage. It is, indeed, for supper. 🙂
He’s Kato Wallace and she’s Oktoberfest wench.
I can’t understand why people keep saying that her legs are “stumpy”?!?
If you measure her by artschool/biology standards, she is fully proportionate – actually her legs are on the long side… (if we’re using the 1.4 longer than body length ideal)
Her legs are muscular…thick – but strong. They are not chopsticks with gristle stuck to them like a waif and they are not short and coated in cottage cheese. Everyone’s cup of tea is different. sigh.
I hear ya 😀 I’m a short lady myself. A lot of hatred of petite ladies comes from the brainwashing standards of beauty. But just like plus-size ladies finally got their respect, we’ll get ours too!
As a short girl myself with athletic legs, I take offense to the word stumpy. She can’t help her height and her body type. Some people have naturally muscular calves and thighs. I have starved myself down to 90 lbs in order to fit the standard of beauty because I looked “stumpy” but it wasn’t sustainable and I realize I’m never going to have thin legs naturally. And I am going to rock my shorts and skirts no matter what because shapely legs on short people is just as beautiful. Sorry for the rant but it really pisses me off when people are blamed for their height!
I bet you’re gorgeous! I have really, really, REALLY skinny legs and I hate it! I’ve always wanted shapely legs. Even skinny jean/leggings/jeggings are never tight enough on me!
Lol I would say I want your skinny legs because its hard to find boots that fit my calves. I guess we want what we don’t have.
And boots always look messed up on me! I’m always up in the gym trying to plump up these legs!
She looks great. Always such a natural beauty until she opens her mouth sometimes and ruins it. I am so sick of some of the celebs big fake teeth, that I love her natural toothy smile. Her smile is infectious.
I really feel for her right now. It means a lot as a daughter to have a father to look up to. To have your fifty-four-year-old father, not be exposed as gay, but to find out he is a middle-aged man, living the large life, screwing a 21-year-old (who was a friend of your own friend) and being his sugar daddy for a year and spending his and mom’s money on him until Joe was caught is sad. This is the man who as a preacher preached to her for years about morals, blah, blah.
Preach it, sister!
Oh for heavens sake, a corset can’t do THAT much work! Believe it or not she actually succeeded in her weight loss. Good job, Jess!
I cannot stand her…her very existence annoys me. However, love the baby costume. The baby looks awesome.
her existence annoys you? wow!
it makes me wonder why you clicked on this topic at all? and am no fan of her.
Anyways, Max is gonna be one tall girl, so cute!
Fun fact of the day (it really isn’t all that fun). One of my ancestors was the bishop of Glasgow during the Scottish wars for independence. He was a big ol’ supporter of William Wallace and Robert Bruce.
And what is up with her body? Wasn’t she a lot heavier just a week or two ago? Multi-layer spanx? Lapband? Sudden epiphany?
Or…anorexia brought on by daddy’s coming-out party and exposing of said boyfriend? Thats enough to make any girl lose her appetite. Like, her dad was never the man she thought he was. It’s gotta be messing with her in all sorts of ways. I can only imagine. Love Jess, always have. She is starting to look normal again. However she did it, doesn’t matter. If I had her money I’d get it sucked out & chopped off too! But I do think she has lost her appetite as well. & just lately.
that is the cutest baby costume i’ve ever seen. and jess looks great.
Maybe next year her boyfriend can dress up as someone who has a job.
Baby chicken is super cute though.
Ha, good one.
Maybe they’re dressed as the cover of a bodice-ripper romance novel. Or just generally “people from ye olden Scottish days.” C’mon, we all know Jessica has only the vaguest concept of history.
But they all look cute and like they’re having fun and that’s what Hallowe’en is about!
Is the baby a chicken or is she a fish? I mean, can Max be chicken of the sea?
I absolutely adore baby Maxwell costume! Lovely!!
The baby chicken outfit is pretty darn cute! Definitely generic Scotsman/slutty Scots lass. At least she’s not a sexy cat, it’s vaguely creative.
She looks like a pornstar. Makeup and mouth breathing pose are awful. And historically accurate, no– she just wanted to wear a corset.
That is the cutest baby costume I have ever seen. No exaggeration. Cutest ever. I want to hug that feathery baby so hard (and she’s going to need a lot of hugs once she realizes her name is ‘Maxwell’.)
Jessica’s mouth-breathing is gross, even if she is convinced it’s sooooooo sexy. She’s passed that trait on to the baby. Maxwell always poses with her mouth open, too.
People need to stop with the bathroom pics. Jess included…
She looks great. Trampy, but great. And, really, isn’t that what Halloween is all about? the excuse to look trampy?
OMG! I TOTALLY thought that was Dean McDermott (Tori’s hubby)!!!
Even though I don’t care for her costume I think Jessica looks pretty! And that chicken costume is adorable!
I did, too.
I thought that was Christina Aguilera!
And I also thought that was Dean McDermott at first!
So did I!!! I was trying to figure out what happened to Tori’s face, and where were the rest of the kids! 😀
I think she looks fantastic. Like said, very trampy, but considering that less than a year ago people were making fun of how huge she was, her weight loss is impressive. i doubt it’s only weight watchers and exercises, but still. the baby is adorable !
K-fed #2 looks like Kato Kaelin.
I wish they had put yellow tights on the baby! Definitely Scotsman and his wench.
Their costumes look ridiculous, but the chicken baby is adorable!
her BF just bugs me, there is something so ‘off’ about him but I cant put my finger on it. he just seems like such a shady guy.
Hello photoshop. We all saw her last week: her legs just are not skinny at all and nor is her waist, thus the giant bag as security blanket she’s been rockin since giving birth.
The Enquirer has a story from a male prostitute who passed a lie detector test. He says Joe Simpson paid him for his “time”.
This one looks like Jessica too, but not as much as the first one.
http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/2012/10/joe-simpson-hired-gay-escorts.html
Whatever it is she looks hot.
“I think people just look at Jessica’s boobs and think of milk, you know? ”
😀 Understandable.
Poor girl gets so much hate. She’s always seemed like a genuine sweetheart to me.
Remember the movie Rob Roy? I think they are Liam Neeson and Jessica Lang from that movie.
I thought the same thing.
lol @ people praising her waist. It’s called a corset.
the baby has the best outfit
+1
I think she is wearing her Dad’s old costume from last years West Hollywood Halloween Party.
What do women make this face? I don’t understand how/why it is considered sexy. To me it always looks pre-sneeze.
has anyone else noticed that everything on and around JS gets bigger as she is not really getting smaller. her hair is huge, her make-up must weigh 3 pounds by itself, her outfits are always kinda hugh-ish, but her face looks oddly small.
Well slutty DOLLY PARTON & she would take that as a compliment & Jessica are very good friends. Its a great pic I think & sure the corset helps but the weight loss is there. she does not have much further to go. I think these pics are properly done. There are so many zoom lenses used these days that exaggerate everything & we know the agenda on Jessica is to have her look her worse at all times & then post them. Jessica generates hits for sites as long as she looks bad. That is what the paps get paid for. You look at any site & see who gets the majority of comments & Jessica will be at the top of that list or close by the top.
Maxwell is a very cute baby & she looks to be tall & lean like her dad. I think ERIC is probably her best relationship to date. He keeps Jess very grounded. There are many men these days that have stepped back in favour of there spouses. Why is it women can do that but men can’t… Think Cash Warren. he stepped back for just about a year & had HONOR constantly while ALBA furthered her Career. There are so many doing the same. Just because you dont know what ERIC does does not mean he does nothing. Have you heard of any art that Barreymore’s husband has dealt but said to come from a great family & its what he does. REALLY? Jessica is probably the most grounded she has ever been & that speaks to something right?
I agree. All true.
She looks great whomever she is. This outfit is a great example of how to hide problem areas, not this exact outfit maybe…a little too showy for the office.
WHY CAN’T SHE CLOSE HER MOUTH? That’s just not sexy. I’m sorry. I just can’t even with that face.
Well she IS slimmer though, I was watching an old ep of “Newlyweds” the other day, and I couldn’t get over how small she was!
In the header pic she reminds me of a classic 70s bombshell but I can’t think who. Something about the pout and the blonde hair. I just can’t place it. Gah, that’s gonna drive me crazy all day!
Her freeloader looks like Tori Spelling’s husband to me. Do they make trophy husbands in the same factory or something?
I dont reallylike her costume but her body looks good ,she looks very slim and has lost all her baby weight, her baby is very cute, she makes a very cute baby chicken
Is it me or do all these gold-digging dudes look alike… Tori Spelling’s doofus, Jessica Simpson’s, Britney Spears’… they look like they were all produced in the same Mattel knock-off factory.
It’s not just you! They all do look eerily similar!
You are right..they all do look alike and none of them are particularly outstanding looking. Same goes for JLO’s gold digging BF. You would think the main criteria for gold digging men would be that they are devastatingly handsome but that’s so not the case with Jessica, JLO, Tori and Britney.
Wow, this comment sounds awfully familiar, Ally8!
Mannish Jessica Simpson looks like a drag queen. Jessica has the worst legs on the planet.