It’s time for one of my rare pro-Jennifer Aniston stories. I know sometimes it seems like Aniston can never do anything right in my eyes, but that’s a damn lie! I like/appreciate her sometimes. Occasionally. And sometimes one of the tabloids will have an Aniston story that actually elicits genuine sympathy or an Atta-girl. This is one of those times. Star Magazine claims that Jennifer’s friend and long-time body double Ashley Cusato is dating Mel Gibson. Which is true – Ashley and Mel went public in October, and multiple outlets reported on the new couple. Ashley is 38 years old, and you can see her IMDB here. Aniston, according to Star, is all “GIRL, NOOOOOoo.”
From racist rants to violent outbursts, there’s no shortage of reasons to steer clear of Mel Gibson. But Jennifer Aniston’s pal and body double Ashley Cusato is getting a stern reminder from her A-list friend.
“Jen respects Mel as an actor, but he’s not the type of guy she’d want her friends to date – he’s a heartbreaker,” stated an insider, adding that Jen was stunned when Ashley broke the news that she’s been dating Mel for the past month. “Ashley insisted that he’ll be different with her, but Jen didn’t buy it.”
Reminding her friend that cheating men don’t usually change their way, Jen also underscored Mel’s temper tantrums.
“Jen wants to be supportive, but she fears it won’t be long before Ashley is crying on her shoulder.”
[From Star Magazine, print edition]
Let me fix a few things. One, “he’s not the type of guy she’d want her friends to date – he’s a heartbreaker drunk, racist, anti-Semitic woman-beater.” Two, “she fears it won’t be long before Ashley is crying on her shoulder… because Mel threatened to choke her to death and bury her in his backyard.” I mean, of course no good girlfriend would be jazzed about her friend dating Mel Gibson. But I dislike the reasons given for WHY Aniston would have a problem with it. Mel is not a “heartbreaker” and his rage spells are not “temper tantrums”. He’s a violent misogynist, a paranoid stalker, a raging alcoholic and a brutally offensive racist. This isn’t a case of, “Oh, my new boyfriend has a DUI, is that a dealbreaker?” This is a case of “His last long-term girlfriend taped his stalking, harassing phone calls in which he verbally threatened to kill her if she didn’t blow him in the Jacuzzi.” DEALBREAKER.
Here’s Ashley Cusato:
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.
Maybe he really IS the greatest actor ever, and it’s all just a ploy. Either that or he just fed her a line about how that woman put a spell on him and he’s different now.
Sociopaths can put on a charming act for a while. Ugh.
Sociopaths DO. It’s part of their shtick; in their “repertoire;” a piece of their puzzle; their most charming mask.
Most abusers are sociopaths. I mean, you can’t just walk up to someone and punch them and expect them to fall in love with you.
Abuse is insidious, and evil, and it takes awhile to break down our inherent “self-protection” barriers.
That’s why it starts with emotional abuse. Isolate from friends and family; make her (him) believe they are the ONLY in his (her) life; and once the emotional health is sufficiently beaten to a pulp, then starts the physical.
Been there; survived that.
+10000000
Amen to that. I was just about to say I can see what Mel Gibson has that puts some kind of a spell on women (apart from fame) – he has a certain “charm” about him…then when somebody mentioned a sociopath…everyting clicked. I remembered my own experience with one, how he “charmed” me into his web first, emotionally degraded me, isolated me,etc. etc. until he felt safe enough to reveal his true self in staggered intervals. Absolute nightmare. yet in between it was like he could click his fingers and I would come running back. These people are absolute nightmares because they are not the clear cut “bastards”, they have the charm that beguils the mouse into the cobra’s nest.
Agreed! And good for you!!!
Very well said, I have worked in the ‘helping’ industry for twenty years, and have dealt with countless abused (mostly) women. They invariably say, ‘but he was so nice.’
OF COURSE HE WAS NICE, as the Original said, you can’t just walk up and punch someone in the face! Charles MANSON was nice at some point!
If (s)he punches, slaps, verbally abuses or uses (S)HE IS DANGEROUS!!!! Step away, and do not poke the bear. The payday cannot be worth it!
Bella et al: Beautifully said. The fact that this cretin can still get women is beyond my comprehension. But like mice to the cobra (great analogy!) they go.
Yes there is a huge difference between your average jerk and a sociopath…a sociopath can convince you of anything for a short while as long as they have their charm fixed on you….hopefully Jen really is watching out for her friend and this isn’t some BS to save her rep in the tabs (the girl is friends with Joe Francis who is also a sociopath)
She’s friends with Joe Francis? Since when? I’ve never seen a single picture of them together. Ever.
Pretty sure she just rented his house in Mexico years ago. The same house Jack Nicholson and Orlando Bloom also rented. That doesn’t make them friends, but don’t let that stop you from spreading that around.
@ kosy
+1 — you are correct.
@ Cosy AND Spinner-
Jennifer met Joe Francis over 10 years ago through Matthew Perry. She has been a REPEAT guest at his Casa Aramara house in Mexico. She spent time there with Vince Vaughn AND she spent time there with John Mayer. She has also visited there without either of them. In fact, CB covered this with Aniston’s famous ass and cooch show for the paps in a black bikini. Joe lists her as his friend. In fact, recently, she was used as a witness as part of his defense in a recent lawsuit, against which he lost a 7.5 Million judgement.
Prior to this, Joe was already convicted for child abuse and prostitution in March 2008. He has frequently been charged with being verbally, emontionally and physically abusive to women.
This guy is pure slime. He obviously treats Aniston nicely because she has money.
Josephine, I think you are wrong. Jennifer is not friends with him (that I can find on Google) and never appears to have been.
He rented his Mexican property to her, (and John Meyer, Orlando Bloom, Vince Vaughn, and Jack Nicholson) and he used all of their names in his defence to prove that the estate in question was an investment property frequently leased to wealthy tenants and, as such, certain business tax deductions were warranted. She was not called as a witness, nor did she defend him as a friend.
Now I agree that he’s revolting, but I see no evidence that they had/have any relationship other than a professional one, so I won’t crucify her by association. I think it’s just an excuse to rag on her (“Aniston’s famous ass and cooch show for the paps in a black bikini”?) but please feel free to prove me wrong. Perhaps pictures or direct quotes?
@Kosy – nice detective work!
No, this is about you trying to rationalize Aniston’s never-ending poor decison capabilities while she is in her 40’s. And yes, I am raggin’ on her because she is the gift that keeps on giving.
A photo? You mean as in participating in a photo with ANOTHER nasty specimen of a human being called Terry Richardson? Oh, she is not IN the picture with him but he took it, so according to you it’s all good.
He is a convicted criminal…why would someone support his business in any fashion?
Read my first few lines. She is a REPEAT customer to his guest house. There exists a few websites where he DOES claim her as a friend. If you provide patronage in a repeat fashion to anyone’s business, you are supporting their business and no, you are definitely not a foe. You mean to tell me she does not have the deference to choose another spot in Meh-hee-co?
How many times do we slam politicians/corporations for “investing” or place an embargo upon morally corrupt countries/organizations?
It is interestingly enough that two of the persons who are equally at fault for providing patronage are two of the men she chose to date– Vince Vaughn and John Mayer.
If there other celebrities that rented his house, scumbag Joe did not list them as “witnessess.”
BTW, Chelsea and Joe would make a great couple and should marry.
Good luck with that honey. Mel’s issues aren’t exactly a secret. I’m guessing Ashley knows about his a- hole reputation & doesn’t care because he’ll make her famewhore dreams come true. I doubt she’ll listen.
Oh wow. I hope she makes it out intact.
Abusive relationships are SO damaging to the emotional, physical, and psychological being.
Run, girl. RUN.
Bella I know from previous posts that this is something you’ve experienced personally, but can I ask something? I understand that it is a pattern of abusers to behave differently behind closed doors and to not show their true colours straight away. Thing is with Mel it’s not like this isn’t information that’s wildly available, I’m not saying for a second that if something happens she deserves it but am I just being in sensative/naive by feeling like she’s walking into this with her eyes open? I’m not saying it’s her fault if he abuses her but knowing that a lot of women and men find themselves trapped in situations like this, a lot of times with children, I can’t help but having limited sympathy knowing that she has knowingly put herself in a dangerous situation.
Miss Kiki – We all think we’ll be the exception to the rule. I don’t know why. I don’t know WHAT possesses us. But for some reason, we do.
Until one has survived abuse (as have I), the inclination is not to run. It’s “Oh, well she was just a bitch” or “Oh, well, he’d NEVER do that to me” or some such nonsense.
I wish I had a better explanation, but I don’t. Believe me, if I could write a handbook on how to avoid it, I would.
I’m with you here. Ashley’s case is not: I met this cute guy who in just six months turned out to be a monster. I had a very short spell with such a character, but I extricated myself pretty fast, though even today I wonder how could I’ve been so stupid. Ashley knows very well what he’s capable of. And if a sane, mature, and informed woman enters willingly such a relationship, well, you deserve what you’re going to get. And if you think you’re somehow better than the ‘bitch’ before, you’ve started your own isolation process.
+1 @ ViDeli.
Is that bad that I don’t have that much sympathy for her? Don’t get me wrong I hope she gets out soon but it’s Mel freaking Gibson his issues are well documented .
Don’t stress yourself!
I don’t have much sympathy either.If I accept it’s a dumb decision of 38-years-old! to date him I most certainly HAVE TO cut 22-yeras-old KStew slack for her dumb decision.
I’m not willing either way, sorry.
No. It’s very hard to understand. We all think we’re the one to “change” him. As I’ve said, abuse is insidious. And I MEAN insidious.
It starts small, little things, like “you’re wearing that?” (Jealousy is a tell-tale sign.)
It progresses from there: I don’t know your friends; they want to hang with other guys (girls); they don’t know you like I do; no one understands you like I do.
From there, it goes to “No one will ever love you like I do” and “Who else could love someone like you?”
Once the self-esteem is sufficiently destroyed, and isolation from friends and family has been established, the physical abuse starts.
It’s a nasty, vicious cycle. It takes a LONG time to recover. And it. is. HARD.
I’ve never been in an abusive relationship, so probably my views are naive.
But somehow I think that a woman in her age has substantial level of self-esteem. Given she hasn’t suffered in childhood or had other emotional trauma. She as her life, job, friends and whatever makes her happy.She as proven herself and knows her own value.
Why should she fall for such tricks?
I pesonally hope that my friends understand me but my emotional happiness is not dependant on that. I’m happy when I don’t have to compromise my own rules and standarts.
If I guy stats telling me the things you listed above I get immedeately “weirdo” vibe and will end whatever’s there right away.
I think it comes with age. Am I that wrong?
Micki, sweetie, it is NEVER that simple. I applaud you for your values and your sense of self worth. Don’t EVER let a man destroy that. (I had AWESOME self-esteem! I was GORGEOUS! Guys DROOLED over me! I was one of those “well, if a guy ever hits me…” girls. But self-esteem destruction is not an age-related sport.)
But there are men, very charming men (sociopaths), who will pretend to be your friend and see you through a rough break-up (under the guise of friendship) and take care of you, and make sure you eat, and take you out for social activities, and take you out on nice dates, etc…
And then they pounce. It’s their MO. It’s how they operate.
I wasn’t an adult when we became friends. We were co-workers. We attended company functions. We went to parties (he was older). We had fun. And when I was down, he was there.
And then he was the ONLY ONE THERE (by his design). And it all goes downhill from there.
Ah, Bellaluna,
my sense of self-worth is a hard earned shit.I was born with a heart failure. Had my OP with 17.Till then I was isolated from many school activities because of it and branded myself a “weirdo”
I learned to be self-sufficient.That’s my luck probably.
We both have cildren and I know it’s politically incorrect but children and teenager can be cruelest beasts. If my self esteem was dependant on others I wouldn’t survive.
Didn’t want to oversimpify my responce, just don’t know how much time I have left for CB.(baby sleeping)
I commend you for your courage to break free and keep on on your own.
After reading other responses I don’t think I explained myself very well. From what I can see a major factor of abusive relationships is that the abuser never reveals their true colours straight away, my issue in this specific case is that with Mel Gibson it’s no secret, everyone knows what he’s like so whilst trying my hardest not to be judgemental I don’t know how much sympathy I can have for her.
Micki – I understand where you’re coming from, because that is how I used to feel. Then I was unfortunate enough to find myself in the crosshairs of a sociopath. I was a strong and independent woman (and thanks to loads of time, therapy, and forgiving myself, I am again a strong and independent woman). I didn’t have a history of abuse in my life, and my parents have an incredible relationship. An amazing amount of women in my survivors support group are the same. However, everyone has weak spots, no matter how strong the person or how high the self esteem. Sociopaths know how to find them and manipulate them for their own use. By the time the physical violence started, I was already too ashamed of myself to speak up. I also knew that other people thought that women who let men hit them were pathetic, so I was right in thinking all those bad thoughts about myself. I remember having the thought, “Well, I guess I just have to learn to accept that I’m trash.” When I finally got out and started on the path to recovery, I also had to learn to accept that other people WILL think I’m pathetic if I tell them my history. It’s not just your abuser telling you you’re weak and pathetic, it’s everyone. People who truly know and love me have had to heal from their own misconceptions. I’ve also lost so many friends who can’t give up their misconceptions. I now understand that we live in a culture that supports abusers and silences victims. I’m not weak and I’m not pathetic. I’m strong and so proud of myself for surviving not just the abuse, but the aftermath of it as well.
bellaluna – Big hugs from a fellow survivor! Thanks for speaking up. It made me feel comfortable enough to do so as well.
Oh, chordy, I’m giving you big hugs right now. You’re amongst friends here.
You’re not weak or pathetic. I think you’re GLORIOUS and BRAVE!
It makes people (especially our loved ones and friends) uncomfortable (pained) to know what we went through. They’re wondering what they could have done or how they could have been there to make a difference, that’s all.
They don’t realise that there is nothing, NOTHING they could have done. (One of my most painful memories is of my parents sitting me down at the dining-room table and telling me “We know he hurts you. We’ll do whatever we can to help you. JUST TELL US.” And I had tears running down my face and said “I CAN’T. He’ll KILL you.” because I truly believed he would.)
And Sweetheart, if we don’t speak up, who will? I’ll suffer the humiliation of sharing my story if it keeps even ONE woman or child alive.
Thanks, bellaluna! It seems strange, but some days I’m glad I went through what I went through so that I can be a good advocate for other survivors. I lived far away from my family when I was with my abuser, so it was so easy to hide it from them. I didn’t see or speak to my parents for over a year. When I left him, I ran right back to my parents. I lived with them for almost a year after. It was the BEST thing that I could have done. He tore me down and built me into what he wanted from me. Being with my family reminded me of who I am. My first week back, I couldn’t speak a word. It was the first time I felt safe in 2 years, and the reality of what I’d been through hit me so hard it literally took my voice. The unconditional love and patience my parents showed me brought me back and taught me how to be loved again. There was nothing more empowering than discovering that despite what I’d been through, I was still ME!
I try to share my story at the right times and in ways I hope will be healing for other survivors. I still suffer from PTSD, so I have to keep an eye on my triggers. My greatest hope for survivors in the future is that we can create a world that’s safe for them to heal. The worst part of abuse is not the physical torture, it’s the overwhelming torture of shame, and that’s a wound I’ll have with me for the rest of my life. I just know how to live with it now.
You are a beautiful and strong woman, bellaluna! Thanks for opening the discussion!
@Chordy:
I think you tried to read too much in my comment.
I never meant to imply I’m too awesome to be caught in an abusive relationship.
But there are different characters that react differently to same things.
Example:The mother of my ex said once pointedly that they expected to have healthy grandchildren and asked whether he’s sure I can have them. Do you think I broke down and cried? No, I simply said that I didn’t imagine to have a moter-in-law with kidney problem and a father-in-law with high blood pressure and an ulcer.Was that awesome? No, it was a nasty answer to a nasty comment.
Was that abusive? Am I “slutshaming” myself for “jumping into a relationship” with this man?
No, he was and still is a good man and husband and father (just not for me).
But you’ll always meet people that want to take you down and kick your weak spots.
My comment wasn’t about for how long you and Bellaluna knew these men but that they haven’t had a tag “abuser” like Gibson. You haven’t known their “true colours” even if they were not complete strangers. But this woman in the post KNOWS beforehand.
Thats about your first and second points.
I don’t see how my having luck in such case implied that you’re pathetic?
Why are you so defensive?
I may lack understanding because of unexperience but where is yours then?Or do you imply I have to revere because you had it hard? I’m sure you’re not the only one.
About the third:How have I excused Gibson actually?How have I implied the victum deserved it?
@Chordy:
I don’t think I’ve called anyone on CB pathetic and I’m not going to start now.
I feel sometimes disappointed with the choices that people make but as I don’t know them I try not to bitch too much.
I’ve stated already that I don’t have experience with such form of abuse. My husband says that I am a very “shut” person. I’d call myself a “distant” one. It’s either my luck or my diffused coldness that have preserved me I guess.
You and Bellaluna talk about a builing relationship with someone you don’t/didn’t know too well.
Miss Kiki talked about well documented abuse history.I think it’s a great difference to start with.
I don’t know the history of that woman but I feel that her life experience should be her best protection.She enters this relationship with open eyes and ears.
There is also another side. I am a minority here but I think it’s possible that Oxana was the one person to bring all the worst in Mel Gibson on the surface. I find it strange that she made 15!! tapes of verbal abuse before going to police.Why not after the second one? I don’t contest all bad sides of Gibson, but I also remind myself that we all have dark sides that we probably are ashamed of. I do.
So, all in all I respect the right of Anniston’s friend to date whomever she choses but I won’t tend to show Übercompassion if she gets burned.
Sorry if that disappoints you.
Micki – We were actually co-workers for over a year, and friends for over 7 months prior to our involvement. I’d actually known him for two years at the time we got involved.
And yes, certain people can be toxic together, and bring out the worst in one another. But that is never an excuse for abuse.
1. Neither bellaluna nor I made a statement about how long we knew our abusers before we got into relationships with them, nor should it matter. Don’t most relationships start with someone you don’t know very well? You get to know them by, you know, having a relationship – romantic or not. I smell a whiff of slut-shaming in the implication that bellaluna and I earned our abuse by jumping into relationships.
2. Peripheral “disappointment” in someone’s behavior is a value judgement, and you’re certainly implying that you are far too awesome to end up in an abusive situation. I wasn’t accusing you of actually saying I’m pathetic before, but now I am.
3. You are full on victim blaming Oksana with that. Just because someone is a crazy b!tch, doesn’t mean they earned their abuse.
Micki-You should scroll down and read HannaF’s comment but mainly, I think you should reserve judgement about the individual experiences of abuse victims.
It’s so much more complex than you or I will ever hope to understand. I think by saying it would never happen to you that you’re implying that there is something inherently deficient about those that DO end up in abusive situations. In that way, you are unwittingly “blaming the victim”.
I do think you made some interesting/valid points but you lost me when you started in with the judgement….
@Chordy:
My answer got mixed up and is comming above.
@Kitten: I’ve read Hanna F.
I also bought the book “The sociopath next door” several months ago but had no time to read.
I am sure I’ve written word “luck” several times in my post.
I don’t call myself imune or demostrate inhumane character strenght and it hasn’t been my intention.
What I obviously poorly tried to explain was that I had to chow my way up to confidence through years of verbal abuse.It could have ended both ways and I had luck. Nowhere do I state I’m better person because of it or else the others are defficient in something because they got trapped in abusive relationship.
Sorry if my post appeared too judgemental, it got way too far from the mark and point that Miss Kiki tried to make.
Micki – I’m not getting any “judgement vibes” from you. And I totally agree that, at this woman’s age, you’d think her life experience and self-confidence would hold her through.
Unfortunately, that’s not the case. As I’ve said, abuse is insidious and sneaky; it undermines ALL of our experiences and self-confidence, and makes us question and doubt ourselves. It drives into the very core of ourselves, and turns everything wonky. (I really can’t explain it. There really are no words.)
It’s very difficult to explain to someone who has never been in that position (and thank goodness you’re there) and been through it. But no one is immune (or “too awesome” – not being bitchy here) from a potentially abusive relationship.
It just takes the “perfect storm” of circumstance and sociopath.
And BAM!!!!! Abusive relationship.
@Bellaluna:
Thanks for the kind answer. I usually have to force myself to share something and didn’t expect the storm I guess. I realize I try to dissect and evaluate with my head and not with my heart.
We don’t even have an argument because we don’t approach the subject from different sides. I guess I’ll always be OFF in a way because I haven’t been through it but I’m glad my comments haven’t offended you.
Seems like she was being diplomatic. Surely women don’t worry about Mel Gibson breaking their hearts anymore! I think they worry more about him breaking their jaws.
After all, Aniston prefaced the whole thing with how she respects him as an actor, so maybe she’s trying not to alienate her friend nor make a vicious enemy out of Gibson. Which is actually a pretty smart way to proceed if your friend is suddenly dating a violent nutcase.
Exactly! She was being diplomatic. She can’t come out and say what an ass he really is.
Yes, she has to be diplomatic. She can’t exactly come out and say that one of Hollywood’s richest and well-connected actor/directors is the misogynist, racist, ego-maniacal, POS that we all know he is. I sure hope her friend wises up.
What a cynical take! I think it’s more likely that if she says he is awful and an abuser, then Ashley will be too embarrassed to come to her for help when she is proven right.
Kaiser-everything you said in this post was awesome. I was kind of floored by “heartbreaker” being the reason that she would warn her friend not to date him. I’m pretty sure Aniston didn’t phrase it like that and this is Star being generous.
I can’t imagine why any woman would want to date to Gibson, much less one as beautiful as Ashley. He is such an ugly monster, inside and out.
Don’t even start with this shit. Please, just DON’T.
Backing up Harper …
The woman ‘does’ have a pattern with rich older male actors. She did something similar with Timothy Dalton … and also had a child with him.
“Lying” doesn’t merit physical violence.
@Harker
Abusers don’t abuse everyone they are with. And to act as though they do, is contributing to the culture that allows intimate partner violence to be diminished in how serious and dangerous it is.
For example many of Charlie Sheen’s exes, say he never hit them. However he has a criminal record regarding having abused other women.
Don’t perpetuate the myth that an abuser is going to hit every single person that he or she dates.
When you are a 55 year old male actor insisting to only date girls in the age range as your children you have a personality problem and probably other creepy issues as well. Nobody would give this guy a second look if he would not be stinking rich.
I was married to a sociopath who’s gone on to hurt a lot of other people; it’s not worth it. I don’t know that Jen should be giving relationship advice to anyone but better safe than sorry.
A drunk, a racist, Mel is Jennifer’s type.
What the Hell? That is probably the dumbest comment I have seen here. And trust me, I have made many stupid comments all on my own! 🙁
Chelsea Handler. JAniston like Handler (and like Gibson) is a big drinker, and Handler is a racist who mocks asian and black children, and JA supports it. If you don’t ‘get it’ then that is truly beyond dumb. 🙁 It should be self-explanatory that JA is attracted to alcoholics (her being one herself) and racists (she supports one). Are you slow. smdh 🙁 Don’t follow the news on JA much, do you?
Lana no one “deserves” that. That wasy point. I have never heard her say anything racist and because she drinks she is an alcoholic? You sound like you think you know her personally. It always makes me laugh when people act like because you read it somewhere it is gosspil. I am not here tro argue though, so enjoy your day sweetie. 😉
I mean, come on…Mel Gibson comes complete with his own warning label. Jennifer is wise to warn her friend, diplomatically, but the decision to move forward with Mel rests squarely on Ashley’s shoulders. Mel is probably dangling an assortments of carrots (including the one in his pants) in front of her.
He needs better bait than his wrinkly old “carrot”. Sorry, but Ashley needs her head examined.
Why, spinner, why?? Now I need to erase the horrifying association between beautiful, crisp organic carrots and Gibson’s leathery ballsack.
There, there Cirque28…Didn’t mean to traumatize you. Perhaps a nice visit to Farmer’s Market will erase this image for you. hee hee.
😀
Perhaps Jennifer should concern herself more with her own relationship and less with that of others.
Justin Theroux is also a recovering alcoholic and heroin addict.
Furthermore Theroux’s first inclination was to attempt to create barriers between Jennifer and her closest friends.
What? Where did you get the “recovering alcoholic and heroin addict” from? Do tell. Sounds very interesting.
Kaiser, totally agree with you. Gibson’s behavior isn’t a series of ” tantrums” by a “heartbreaker”. It’s a series of sociopathic outbursts by a violent alcoholic racist. (Nice shout-out to 30 Rock with “Dealbreaker”!)
Well, Jen has been described as a “sad spook” herself, slurred her way through interviews and award shows, and look who her BFF friend is….Chelsea Handler- drunk, racist. stalker, and bytch!
At least, Gibson has talent but he sure cannot pick women beyond the first one.
No. Just…no. (Take a looksie up-thread.)
Funny how a commenter like Micki can make some interesting/excellent points but instantly loses all credibility with me once he/she starts with the victim-blaming.
How can a person give Gibson a HUGE benefit of the doubt with “we all have our dark sides” and then in the next breath judge how a victim of abuse handles their situation?
I guess the abuser is deserving of Micki’s empathy but not the abused.
*sigh*
Thankfully, I’ve never been in an abusive siuation, therefor I choose to STFU as far as commenting/judging women who have been there. It’s about respect, ladies.
AWWW, OKitt, I love ya!!! 🙂 Such a fine line to tread, is it not?
I still get nauseous at the thought of my abuser and what he did to me (which is between me and God). My panic attacks have (THANKFULLY!) waned when I see someone who looks like him or a truck that looks like his. (Living 800+ miles away helps. A LOT.)
Hubs has assured me that he’ll be shot on sight if he shows up on our property.
Given how very, very public all of his problems are, I truly don’t understand any woman going near him.
Jen would look good with her body double’s color hair. Maybe just a smidge lighter.
ooooh…I agree.
Mel needs an Australian woman. They’re solid and don’t take crap. He’s been too long away from home IMO.
Being Australian has nothing to do with it. I’m Australian yet wouldn’t touch that racist mass of issues Gibson. No self-respecting woman, Aussie or not, would. Don’t confuse being tough and not taking crap with accepting racism and putting up with physical abuse.
If Australia is willing to take him back, I’ll pay for the shipping. In my opinion his place is on raft in the middle of the Pacific, surrounded by solid sharks.
I think we’d ALL love to deport the bastard.
Totally agree with everything you say, Kaiser!
I wanna go back to the days of Lethal Weapon 2and 3, before we all realized what a sociopath Mel was and could just sigh over his yummy-ness. Now there’s no going back, and the worst part? I can’t even watch those movies anymore without thinking how God damn crazy he is. Completely ruined all his movies for me.
Yes, I miss the movie Mel, too. I absolutely won’t watch anything he does any more, in the theater or on TV. When I get tempted, I just remind myself that he doesn’t deserve to have any woman’s hard-earned money.
I’ve mentioned before that I’m a family law attorney and I come here for some light hearted entertainment to balance the drama in my work–not sure why I looked at this thread.
Here’s my two cents: when I started taking domestic violence cases I couldn’t understand how these women could get themselves entangled in such situations and not leave. I was given a book called “It could happen to anyone.” (Or something close to that) in essence, while we ALL say that I would be gone the first time he touched me it is not that simple. There is no personality type who falls prey to abusers. No one knows how they would react until they are in that situation.
I have two cases where the guys have moved on. Their New partners know about the restraining orders, etc.but they buy into the story that my clients are raving bitches who manipulated the system.
Kudos to those who left their abusive relationships. It is extremely difficult. At one point I had 2 DV cases that I filed on the same day. These women came from different socio-economic situations, one was not married, etc. They each had kids. They were still in contact with the abusers beyond the parameters of the restraining orders while I was moving forward with the legal mechanisms to protect them and their children. The guys were still being emotionally abusive. We were well into the process of permanent restraining orders and child custody/visitation when within a day of each other they each had an a ha moment and finally realized completely that this guy was bad news and was never going to change. I think that you can realize something intellectually but realizing it on an emotional level takes more time. I hope this makes sense–my tablet makes things wonky!
Jennifer dated John Mayer.
That says all I need to know about her.
Too true, IGTGuam, too true.
…and in addition to, John dated Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly, Taylor Swift & Katy Perry. I’m sure I must be missing someone…
And he was a low point for all of them.
Not only John Mayer, but also Vince Vaughn and Gerard Butler. Justin Theroux doesn’t look so hot either with his treatment of Heidi Bivens, manorexic makeover and leggings. I don’t know if I would want to take relationship advice from miss pity party, but if there is an expert on dating losers it is certainly Aniston.
Exactly. And there is no media spin to your words. Sobering words (pun intended) and no need to dress it up or water it down.
Maybe Aniston’s friend suffers from the delusion that she will be the one to “fix” Gibson?
Why is there always this shock that certain men can find women to date. There are mass murderers that get women falling all over them.
It is the flaw of womenhood. I’m not surprised Mel has no problem getting women. Is he the blame. it is clearly out there what he is or perceived to be. So as a grown woman she made her choice going in.
“Why is there always this shock that certain men can find women to date. There are mass murderers that get women falling all over them.”
Arg, yes. Let’s not forget all the women who become enamored with the worst of the worst in prison and develop romantic relationships via letters. What IS behind THAT dynamic?? *off to google*
I’m on mobile view so am late to the conversation with micki. I get what she’s saying… That it’s understandable when women with high self esteem fall into relationships with abusers who have hidden their dark side from the public eye. No blaming there..it’s like a butterfly running into a spider’s invisible web. But what micki is saying is that in this case, the web has been revealed and highlighted with police tape, the guy is publicly known as a spider and yet this woman walks willingly into the web. It’s not exactly blaming the victim, it’s a wtf moment.
But it doesn’t matter, see? The thing about sociopaths and abusers is that they convince you that you’re the exception to the rule, that you’ll be the one to change them, to make them a better man/woman.
Haven’t we all seen this or done this? You fall for a jerk, and you think to yourself “well, he’s less of a jerk to me than he is to some people, I bet he’s got a heart of gold deep down!” so you go forward with a relationship with this guy who is actually pretty unpleasant, because you believe he’ll change, just for you. It doesn’t matter how many hearts he’s broken, how many girls he’s jilted or dumped just as they were getting serious – you’re special, so he’s not going to do that to you, right? Sociopaths take that same moment of misjudgement and run with it.
We all tell ourselves we’re smart enough not to fall for it. But it’s not about being smart. It’s not about being strong. It’s about being human, and that’s something none of us can avoid.
At this point all Jennifer can do is warn her friend and then be there for her as friend… People have to learn things the hard way at times.
How many times have we warned a friend who didn’t listen but was there for them when they need a shoulder to cry on.
How is this jerk still finding women who will even date him?
Time for women to stop being idiots! Mel Gibson, really???
Get a clue.