Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels in 2007
The last time Melissa Etheridge’s ex, Tammy Lynn Michaels, complained about Melissa only paying $23,000 a month child in support payment, people didn’t have much sympathy for her. Melissa and Tammy have six year old twins, a boy and a girl, and they finalized their separation settlement in June after about two years of haggling. (They had a commitment ceremony in 2003, but were never officially married under California law.) Tammy’s $23,000 a month is about 13% of what Melissa reportedly makes, $178,000 a month. It’s still a ton of money and it doesn’t seem like Tammy is ready to downsize her lifestyle or get a job. Earlier this week she wrote one of her long rambling blogs in which she seems to be complaining that Melissa’s check wasn’t in the mail this month and Christmas will have to be cancelled. I’m going to quote Radar here because they do a great job of decoding Tammy’s writing. You can read the original post on Tammy’s blog.
As part of the couple’s post split settlement, Melissa is obligated to pay Tammy a cool $23,000 per month, but Tammy complains on her blog site, Hollywood Farm Girl that the checks are very slow to arrive and her lack of funds might affect the Christmas presents she can buy the children.
Tammy often takes to her blog to cryptically rant about her lack of finances and rail against her famous ex, and this time she’s focused on not being able to afford presents, but at the same time vows she will teach her children that the Holidays are about way more than just materialism.
“Fascinating you know— secrets, they are. People, places, things and accounts, houses, waived rights AND relationships, money —-secrets are sick—a sign of an illness within—disease,” Tammy writes.
“Playing games with money—phoney baloney—hide and seek—can you find the ball under the clam shell? —christmas is coming—chase the check—chase the check —chase the check—can’t —catch it—oh watch the girl go—empty stockings and tiny boxes—-don’t worry– —i’ll teach them what’s important.”
Tammy goes on to claim that despite her frequent griping, the money actually isn’t that important to her, and that as “narcissistic” as it sounds, she may be the only one with a moral compass!
“Nothing close to —what i have to chase in the stupid mail box—but rather—what is in the heart—which could never–never never ever be found in a mail box anyway…………… millionaires in their mansions—-tricking with trusts—-hiding money from Paul behind Peter—–just to steal from the minor in the end—-integrity is a mystery in—-the town of gold dust—-pyrite—fool’s gold —-at times i do feel——as narcissistic as this sounds—that i might be the only —one—with a moral compass —-this side of the Indiana State Line. —tell me it’s not true—-no—-show me—-show me—-someone show me it’s not true.”
So Tammy has been getting $23,000 a month since at least this spring, along with 50% of the royalties from songs Melissa wrote when the two were together. She should have taken in well over $200,000 this past year. I get that lawyer’s fees may have taken a large chunk of that, (I can’t figure out if Melissa was ordered to pay Tammy’s lawyer’s fees, this story is a mess) but couldn’t she have moved out of her mansion at least? She may have done that, but if so I expect she would have written something about trying to manage, as if it were a great hardship. Granted she might not be able to go back to her career as an actress, but surely now that her kids are in school she could try to do something for money, or at least try to live within her new means. I do think Melissa was in the wrong for cheating on Tammy and then shafting her on child support. (Which is extremely relative to Melissa’s income, of course.) But if you look at how much money Tammy is raking in, it rings hollow when she says she’s going to have to cancel Christmas. Then again, when you read her blog you wonder if she has the life skills to balance a budget. I know that’s bitchy, but her writing style is so off-putting. She seems to be stuck in permanent victim-hood.
Tammy and Melissa in 2005:
Melissa performing in August:
Melissa with her new girlfriend, Linda Wallem, in May:
photo credit: WENN.com
I distinctly remember Melissa fighting like hell for her right to legally marry this woman …. I wonder how she feels about that now?? LOL … NoH8 LOL … If it were not for them having children together she would bot have been entitled to anything at all … another case of baby mama drama …. smh grow up people and be parents to these kids …
I sooooo thought it would be easier just to be with another women. This just makes me realise that it’s all the same. Lol!!! Yes it’s a jested xxxx
I sooooo thought it would be easier just to be with another women. This just makes me realise that it’s all the same. Lol!!! Yes it’s a jest xxxx. Just a realisation that the grass isn’t always greener!
A golddigger is a golddigger is a golddigger.
Not the best night for me! Seem to be posting comments twice. Sorry to all xxx
Re : for a straight woman, it looks easier to be with a woman than a man
I remember an episode of Malcolm in the Middle where his mom has this fantasy about how everything in her life would be perfect if only she had 4 daughters instead of 4 sons. But even the fantasy turns out to be a bust as all 4 of her fantasy daughters turn out to be high maintenance headaches who steal each others’ boyfriends. It was a hoot. But I get what you’re saying. Sometimes I think the same thing – and then I see stories like this and think “maybe not”!
Robert Klein did a stand-up show in South FL a few years ago, and he did a hilarious song about the subject of marriage equality. He put it best when he said all couples “should have the right to be miserable too.” LOL
Tammy and Melissa’s relationship would make a great Lifetime movie.
Melissa-Lindsay Lohan
Tammy-Amber Heard
That I would watch! Lol!
Until Amber refused to kiss Lilo 😉
there is a way to shoot an kiss that in reality isn’t at all and the two mouths are not close together. It’s about body positioning, camera angles and clever editing.
So Amber could refuse to kiss Lilo, but be filmed appearing to do to.
LOL! That will be a riot once again, reading live tweets on Twitter.
Awesome! They should have made that instead of Liz & Dick!
Of course Melissa should be paying the money she is obligated to pay, but come on. That should not be the factor in ruining x’mas for Tammy. That is just a cop out. It’s time for Tammy to get on with her life, and time for Melissa to do the right thing.
Happy HOlidays to all!
So she basically had children for the sole reason of getting a regular check without having to work? Get a job, you no-talent slag. Your “poetry” sucks and people who are struggling are sick of your whining. Kmart has layaway. Use it.
+1.
Child support is called child support for a reason: it is for the children. It is not there so you can sit on your arse.
+100 Deb
While I do think that Tammy is a vindictive b*tch not unlike her brief character on the L word, there is a reason that child support payments are relative to income. In theory, the children’s lifestyle should not be dramatically altered as a result of the split and you have to imaging that cutting down the monthly income from 175,000$ for 4 people to 23,000$ for 3 people would change a lot.
Melissa fought for the right to marry Tammy, had Tammy nurse her back to health when she was diagnosed with cancer, had Tammy give up her career to have their children and then cheated on her after all that. And then she argued that because they were never married, she shouldn’t have to pay! Thanks for selling out your family and the rest of the gay community in an attempt to save some money!
The children deserve more and regardless of the amount, the cheque should arrive on time. But I do agree that Tammy is full of sh*t too. Many people have to adjust, get a job, downsize. I maintain that Melissa is the larger evil in this situation, but Tammy needs to learn how to be an adult and take her lumps like the rest of us. Not to mention, she needs to stop airing her dirty laundry in public. Her poor kids are going to be the ones hurt by that in the end, not Melissa.
I totally agree. Ofcourse she should pay for her children. She is a very rich woman and I don’t see why her kids and the woman who takes care of them should not be a part of her lifestyle jyst because she found someone else. She made a choice to have those kids and to take care of them.
@Lee – This exactly!!!
Victimhood has worked all to well in Hollywood after a break up or divorce. (sad to say) it has kept many quite relevant.
Tammy is getting more in month then most spouses/partners get in a year. But then Melissa is famous and Tammy got use to a certain lifestyle.
I hate that the new trend is to air every aspect of your personal life for public consumption. Nothing is off limit. Nothing is in bad taste or bad form anymore. I miss those days.
*** on a superficial note. Melissa needs to wear her hair short always. She looks way better with shorter hair.
+1
“Tammy got use to a certain lifestyle.”
I hate it when they use that excuse. They can get unaccustomed to that lifestyle. When my income changed, I stopped eating out and started shopping less. That is what happens to normal people when their lifestyle changes.
That annoys me no end. Many times in your life you have to adjust your lifestyle. When I retired, I went from $60K to $15K. Adjusted my lifestyle big time. And this b**ch can’t make it on $23K a MONTH? Please.
You know, she also gets half the royalties from the songs Melissa wrote during their nine years together. Most people could scrape by on that alone.
@andy: The problem with you is that you are intelligent and responsible in your personal finance and that kind of resilience and self-sufficiency tells me that you will never have a future on ‘Bring And Buy At The Slag Drive’. Is that *really* how you want to live your life? Do any of the dignity-loving and clear-headed subversives here have any idea of what message you’re sending to the children? What if one of them opens a savings account and what if they don’t even court the idea of filing for bankruptcy every so often so that their ‘wellness’ is cast into oblivion because you’re spending all of that rejuvenation time on changing your life for the better (if patience and non-inherited success are what you even call success) without a single bill, debt dodge or be-cracked pants denial?
You can’t sling bone china, stem cells and merlot at the help if you have neither. Yeah.
Do you see how my analysis works? I’m a laser!
@ JoMama
Holly crap – did you really have to adopt Tammi’s writing style to comment on her? I understood little from her idiotic, pseudo-intellectual ramblings, but yours left me completely befuddled. I guess you must be a laser, indeed – you cut my IQ right in half. 😉
I agree wheheartedly. That’s why I quit Facebook. I realized that I don’t care about people’s day-to-day lives. The broad picture is enough for me.
Ugh.. I have friends that nag me all the time because I’m not on facebook, and I get pissed when they post my picture. I don’t need to share everything. I like the mystery of my life a bit. And I actually talk to and go to SEE the people that are important to me. all the time people spend tweeting and posting updates on facebook, they could actually be interacting with the people in their lives.
I actually think facebook and tweeting have become excuses for people not to have physical contact.
rant over..
I’m so with you! I have very little Internet presence because I’m a fan of privacy and also because I used to get so annoyed having to read everyone’s each and every whim in real time. I don’t particularly need to know what you eat for each meal or want to be privy to each and every one of your peeves as they crop up throughout the day.
lisa2: You should be angry. I’m not on facebook and I’ve asked that no photos with me in them be published on that site. Facebook can do whatever it wants with photos on their site.
I don’t feel like such a humourless and pretentious scold on this thread. A lot of people think I’m trying to make a huge and smug statement by not registering with any of the social networking sites. I’m not trying to prove anything, it’s just not my bag. Still, in some location on the planet, there’s some individual who will feel today’s burn for yesterday’s fire that doesn’t appeal to me. Girls Gone Herpes might have seemed like a reasonable life choice during your wicked, wicked youth, but you’ve matured into someone else and you don’t need the events of last week affect your job prospects.
There most be more effective ways to get Alan Wilder back into Depeche Mode than by making a Facebook page, so really, what’s left after that?
+1 to everything Lisa2 said.
I’m very active on FB and have a twitter account but have NEVER aired any of the problems I have had with my ex on there (domestic violence/infidelity/child support etc)- I have shared on occasion here because it’s less likely to be read by anyone who knows me – but I don’t think it’s fair for my children to come across this stuff in a few years (or now in the case of my grown up son!)
No one other than friends and family would be interested in my drama but clearly it’s not the same for celebs. I just don’t get why famous people can’t keep this stuff to themselves!
Sorry for double post.
@andy: The problem with you is that you are intelligent and responsible in your personal finance and that kind of resilience and self-sufficiency tells me that you will never have a future on ‘Bring And Buy At The Slag Drive’. Is that *really* how you want to live your life? Do any of the dignity-loving and clear-headed subversives here have any idea of what message you’re sending to the children? What if one of them opens a savings account and what if they don’t even court the idea of filing for bankruptcy every so often? What kind of time does that leave for a hired hand to take over whilst you focus on your rejuvenation or wellness? It’s all cast into oblivion because you’re spending all of that rejuvenation time on changing your life for the better (if patience and non-inherited success are what you even call success) without a single evasion, debt dodge or be-cracked pant denial?
You can’t sling bone china, stem cells and merlot at the help if you have neither the possessions nor the staff. And if you adaptable workhorses say a thing about her having to find more meaning and funds in her life than account watching and lead her children by example by behaving in a manner upon which the kids could model their own lives with pride I will ruin your minds with my anger.
Or maybe they’ll see how their other mother holds so much dominion over her ex, sees the world, makes gobs of cash and is a celebrity and not a self-sainted plant with more excuses than strategies who writes disjointed rambling mommy omnibuses to nowhere. Maybe when they want to get into the business they’ll see what brought one parent staying power while the other has been pretty freed up with time since that show was cancelled about a hot minute fifteen years ago. Hm.
See how my analysis works? I’m a laser!
My guess is Tammy could and should at least try to get back to acting. She was extremely talented.
Also, working might get her out of the “I was cheated on and used, I don’t have a meaning in life anymore” frame of mind she seems to be stuck in.
here’s a novel idea, get a job to supplement your income. granted Melissa should definitely be paying for their kids and pay ON TIME but Tammy needs to put her big girl panties on..
Yep. This exactly, marie.
I absolutely agree. I have seen comments before in regards to this that Tammy left her career to take care of Melissa’s children and now wouldn’t be able to get jobs anymore because she is older and unable to get as many acting gigs. That sounds like a lot of bs to me. Maybe if she put as much effort into getting acting jobs as she did posting crazy blog posts,she could find some work. I would feel much more sympathy if she didn’t bash Melissa on the internet. I have known many women (and a few men) who were in Tammy’s situation who handled it with much more grace.
“Maybe if she put as much effort into getting acting jobs as she did posting crazy blog posts,she could find some work.”
I agree with everything you stated. If she can’t get acting jobs, try to find work in another area. The egos some of these people have about doing work “below” them infuriates me. College graduates with advanced degrees are having to take minimum wage jobs to survive. Tammy needs to swallow her pride and find any job that will help support her children.
There are ways to set up child support so it goes through a third party and one person doesn’t have to wait for a check to come in the mail. I agree, based on her writing skills, and her self-victimizing, she’s not likely to be good with money. She could be getting twice what she’s getting and she’d still run out by the end of the month and complain. It is what it is.
I’m not hating on her, I’m bad with money too. I’m just dealing with much smaller sums!
On the one hand I know how she feels, my daughter’s father has been a jerk about paying support for the last 5 months and hasn’t paid anything this month at all which really sucks because I start school in January and I’m going to have to wait to buy my books otherwise I’ll be in the red ( I went a little wild on presents for my daughter plus her birthday is in 2 months, so 2 birds and 1 stone) On the other hand I live within my means and put my big girl panties on and got a part time job to offset the amount he hasn’t been paying. Also I’m looking into a subsidy for my daughter’s daycare expense and I put myself on a budget. I know LA is expensive but Tammy needs to get it together and starting budgeting, get a job and or downsize. There’s no reason 23K per month shouldn’t be enough. Melissa needs to stop being a douche bag and pay up.
You’re assuming she got her previous checks in the mail. My dad was extremely passive aggressive about sending child support checks. Her previous money probably went to paying off. Past due bills, rent, and lawyer’s fees!
Being awarded money in court doesn’t mean you’ll have it in hand that same day!
She’s as good a writer as she is a parent.
Could you imagine a conversation between her and Sharon Stone? They should write a book.
Get a job, loser. As a single parent, I find her pity party for herself to be extremely insulting. Of she actually did something w/her life I would boycott her bit since she doesn’t I’ll just have to go back to not giving a shit.
Yeah, pretty much.
I’m not necessarily saying that people should ascribe to ‘suffering in silence’ in the way that my family did when my BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND deadbeat dad was doing his thing and ruining our lives because sometimes you have to identify the source of the problem and not let that perpetrator go unpunished. There were more of us and certainly less money and don’t even start on the 50 fucking dollars a month he paid for me–or was supposed to pay, I don’t tend to get hauled off to court so… it was bad. I’m not going to play Oppression Olympics but it’s not about that. If I were to brag, it wouldn’t be as a statement of my hardcore authenticity, or some crap because that’s insufferable. I’m saying, we got dealt a bad, bad hand and don’t think that all of the money magically falls into your lap the day you turn 18. In situations like that, your lives are on layaway because your birthright was never granted you have to condemn yourself to Debt Hell to cover the decades worth of income that someone just didn’t feel like paying. And the keepers of the gates feel entitled to treat you like something that they dug out of their ear because you’re just a statistic and that kind of situation is typical of ‘your’ type so they always make you aware that you’re a confidence man until proven shameless.
If this girls wants to turn her whole narrow life into a fairground attraction, that’s fine, I guess. But doesn’t some sort of pride that won’t countenance the notion of rolling in the dirt for pity? Deadbeats don’t even climb up to the level of ‘indolent cesspool’ and THAT’s the person to whom you’ll give permission to destroy your family’s spirit? That’s dumb. People like Melissa and my father have never spent a minute on anything that doesn’t contribute to their own fun. They’re out there, whooping it up and having a grand ol’ time and they’re not thinking of you, and they don’t remember all of the pretty promises they made when you had something you could give them. After things go bad, they change their minds or ‘forget’ and there are a lot of people in the world from whom they can get what they want. It’s awful when you love someone more than that person loves you, I could fill a warehouse with my experiences of that. You get sad, you feel silly for ending up that position, you feel self-loathing for all of your failed attempts and extinguishing that torch, so you guard yourself because of a little-known phenomenon called ‘baggage’ and have the honour of feeling the price for someone else’s bad deeds. There’s nothing left of you to make or desire another experience that could end that way again and in those moments when you can’t distract yourself, you feel the bottom of the world because you know that by a certain point someone else has what you wanted. Whether if lasts of not is immaterial because the ‘moved on’ is enough, especially when you have no lock on a heart and you’re just a ghost in light of a stranger’s bright gleam.
She just has to keep going, as do we all. If she gets it together, she can claim credit for her kids’ future success. Ended up sharing the partner, that’s enough.
Jo Mama, you’re singing my song
“It’s awful when you love someone more than that person loves you, I could fill a warehouse with my experiences of that. You get sad, you feel silly for ending up that position, you feel self-loathing for all of your failed attempts and extinguishing that torch, so you guard yourself because of a little-known phenomenon called ‘baggage’ and have the honour of feeling the price for someone else’s bad deeds.”
I feel EXACTLY this way about my dad. He was married to my mom and screwed around on her and ended up having another family while married to my mom. Mom worked to support him and he spent the money she made on his mistress and son. I had no idea the true extent of it until recently and I’m deeply hurt. Just when I thought the knife couldn’t slice any deeper it hits a whole new layer of sinew. I stand in crappy father solidarity with you my friend
We’re stronger than the things that happen to us, friend. I wonder if it’s possible to monitise all of this blasted character gained.
One can be victimized without being that perpetual victim. In that acute and yet foggy loss, it’s hard to see beyond the hole inside of us through to the person who put it there as something more than a circumstance what needs to be overcome. For all of the mess and damage sustained that stays with you for all of your life, informs everything and carries ill effects that necessitate lifelong management, what they took from us doesn’t even begin to rival what they lost in us. Feel relieved that nothing should ever have to drain the poison they put into us our lives out of us. Don’t waste unconditional love on someone who can’t give it himself. I suppose people in our position are lucky unfortunates. Now I’m starting to sound like I’m giving a seminar on Barbara Hutton.
Ug! Six year olds are AT LEAST in Kindergarten, if not first grade. And that means they are in school AT LEAST half the working day, if not full day. Get an effing job, Tammy! If your so damn poor and can’t “afford” Xmas, send the kids to their other mother’s house (mansion) for the holiday.
Depends on their birthdate. Mine started K at 6 and were only gone 2.5 hours. Youngest was nearly 8 I believe before he was gone any substantial timeframe. I couldn’t wait to get a part-time job just to have a few hours off parenting and housework after so many years ‘at home’
Sure, I understand :^) But I doubt you were telling your kids Santa couldn’t come because your meanie ex didn’t pay up on time, all the while sitting on your @ss blogging. I would never, ever belittle what the typical stay-at-home parent contributes to his/her family. But I doubt this b*tch is scrubbing floors, vacuuming, doing laundry, food shopping and running errands during her few, precious, child-free hours.
There are so many women in Hollywood whose raison d’etre is victimhood after a breakup and who successfully brand themselves as the ex. Granted Etheridge was a class-A jerk and I lost all respect for her when she tried to squirrel her way out of support by claiming she wasn’t really married after being so vocal about Gay Rights.
Still lets call her out and lets just stop the BS of calling an actress a hero simply because they got cheated on across the board. I know these situations are painful but in real life you put on your big girl pants and raise your kids,work and get the hell over it already and keep your big mouth shut.
This exactly. I felt bad for her when it happened-but the years of whining have eroded my sympathy.
I agree with you both!
She does realize there are family who barely survive on 23,000 a YEAR? No sympathy for this chick at all. Christmas will be fine for her children.
Amen.
I make 9.50 an hour full time and I still make less than Tammy gets in one month. She needs to stfu
Ditto!! I have no sympathy, I’m down to my last pennies and am making it work, also, you don’t have to spend a ton of money, how about looking at what’s really important about the season and be grateful to have your kids healthy and with you!
Yet people defend Gabriel Aubry receiving 20k a month for one child that he doesn’t even have custody of…funny how he gets loads of sympathy with nary a person saying that this able bodied professional model should get a job. Wonder why he gets different treatment?
mmmkay, here’s the deal:
Per CA law: The child is entitled (their word, not mine) to be kept in the manner to which said child has been accustomed.
That means if Daddy (or Mommy) makes bank and Kiddo is used to living in a mansion with servants and nannies and whatever-the-hell else, Kiddo is NOT going to go home (physical custodial parent) to a one or two bedroom apartment in some “questionable” neighbourhood. (“Lifestyle to which to they have been accustomed” is an actual LEGAL term, regarding both exes AND children.)
I don’t make the rules, but I’m well aware of them.
The difference is that he doesn’t have a blog whining about his life. If he did that, we’d all tell him to shut up too.
I actually don’t have a problem with the amount of support which is probably fair considering income. My problem is the public whining. She’s well within her rights to go to court if the check is late. I just don’t want to hear her whining that she’s living in a van down by the river.
Well, that’s the whole thing. 13% isn’t fair- in the State of GA where I practice, 23% of the non-custodial parent’s income is fair.
However, I’m not sure what the 50% income is that contribute to her support.
And they (GA and HB) have “shared custody” which means 50/50, if I’m not mistaken.
Someone fluent in legalese help me out.
you are correct. It was on one of the leaked documents from one of them during thanksgiving blow up that they had 50/50 custody, and always have had it.
I think due to the supervised visits, and the societal norm of mother automatically caring for children more than father, we all assumed that Halle had primary custody and GA got visitation.
If Gabriel wrote nonsensical blog posts bashing Halle and saying Nahla couldn’t have Christmas, I would totally feel the same about him. Truth is, even though we speculate Halle leaks to TMZ and Gabriel leaks to Radar, neither of them have actually come out and said anything about each other in public. Sure through the courts Halle has made accusations, but Tammy’s public bashing of Melissa over and over is getting old. I think it’s awful that Melissa cheated on her and seems to be a deadbeat mom, but does she think publicly shaming her is going to help when it will probably make Melissa angrier and drift away farther.
I agree, and especially think about how the kids would/will feel, as it is all public – at some point, if they don’t already, they’ll hear about it. Can’t imagine that will make them feel very good.
The reason why Halle pays 20g’s a month is of her own doing…
she complained that Aubry should not share custody because he did not have substantial monies to support their daughter in the lifestyle she was accustomed to.
The judge evened out the playing fields.
her own vindictive ways, got her into that situation.
The judge figured he was not too poor to procreate with but NOW he’s too poor to “share custody” OK lady.
I’ve noticed that a ton of women are upset about that 20g’s, when women w/wealthy ex’s have been getting settlements of the same for centuries.
ladies, get over it
Silly wanker. You’ve more in support per month than I’ve made this year (boy the economy blows) and I’ve managed to feed, house, clothe and Christmas my children.
Melissa is a douche. Tammy is a tool. I am grateful I am not them. Those kids will make this current crop of Hollywood children seen to have a good work ethic. Trust.
Happy holidays to you, Lem! I find her comments insulting considering so many parents like you manage to make do with a tiny fraction of what she gets each month. I hope you know that your kids will grow up to appreciate your hard work and selflessness, just like I did with my mom.
I have no patience for this bullshit right now.
+1
I hope she didn’t tell the kids about Christmas being cancelled because of her reason. What a way to teach your kids values and what the holidays meant.
IDK, maybe Melissa is behind on the payments or something? Maybe they were supposed to go in together and buy the kids something expensive. Who knows. I think Melissa E acted horribly during that split so I wouldn’t be surprised if she is trying to duck out of doing something now as well.
I don’t think her poems suck. I think she’s a good writer with a good blog. A blog that’s hers and she’s allowed to express herself there.
Woah, I had to double take I thought Melissa was Kendra Wilkinson!
I can’t remember and I’m too lazy to check, but isn’t Melissa paying the bills in addition to the $23,000?
Honestly, Tammy needs to get herself a job. Your circumstances changed so you need to get out there and do your part. What if something happened to Melissa (like she died or something, knock on wood)? What will she do then?
How about stepping away from the blog, Tammi and get a f*cking job. Then maybe you won’t be do dependent on that 23 grand a month. What a gold digging @sshole.
Melissa should pay her child support. Just like every other parent does. Or does Melissa need the entire 100k plus for herself. Awful
Staying home to raise children IS a job. If you can make that choice and you want to make that choice, why isn’t that okay?
Yes it is. And yes, an ex should pay what was agreed to. But take it to court! Don’t involve the kids! And don’t make it public. I think most of us feel that, with $23K a MONTH she can’t possibly be hurting as much as most single parents who rely on a tiny fraction of that from deadbeat exes, who STILL manage to make Xmas nice for their kids.
It is ok assuming you have the means to do so, apparently she does not. Therefore, she needs to get a job.
It’s very simple really
Melissa is starting to look like Charlie Sheen’s ex wife Brooke. Eep.
Its not about the money. Shes still pissed of that Melissa left her for someone else. Thats the real issue. So shes making her pay in how ever way she can. The amount of money shes getting is crazy. But it will never be enough because Tammy will spend it badly and is, again, mad at her ex. Its almost like the love triangle that with leann.
I think Melissa should absolutely have to pay her support in full, on time, whatever amount the court decided – having those children was a decision they made together, and she has equal responsibility for them.
That said, it’s also Tammy’s responsibility to manage the money she receives and make sure the kids are taken care of, and when it’s that much per month, there’s no reason for her to EVER be strapped for cash.
If their lifestyle is too expensive, it’s time to change that. If she needs more money in addition to the support, then she needs to find a way to provide it.
Melissa needs to meet her responsibilities, and Tammy needs to be an adult and responsible too.
Brave and crazy; Melissa’s album…still crank it up and sing my lungs out in the car
While Melissa was wrong to cheat–and is wrong to withhold support (if that’s what’s going on here)–bitterness is ugly. I hope for her and the children’s sakes, Tammy can just let this go and let the courts handle it. Ranting and raving and hanging onto hate isn’t pretty; and I personally believe can cause physical sickness in our bodies. I hope she can forgive and move on. And I hope Melissa steps-up and does the right thing. I used to be a fan, but not so much anymore.
I don’t care how much Melissa makes or how much Tammy wants.Child support is child support. Melissa is supposed to pay it.
Melissa asked for her marriage and kids. That is exactly what she got. Those are her kids and she shouldn’t punish them just to ruin Tammy’s Christmas.
One day Melissa’s kids are going to read all about her choosing to take Christmas from them out of selfishness. Or worse yet their classmates will endlessly tease them.
Melissa is trash.
Thee is nobody good in this story. Melissa sucks and has tried to use the “we’re not married” excuse to cut out Tammy, and Tammy is coasting on somebody else’s dime.
There is nobody worth rooting for in this story and no point to picking sides. They’re both pathetic.
Absolutely 100% agree with you.
I’m rooting for the kids, but I’m guessing that unless someone (either of the parents) grows the you-know-what up and starts putting them ahead of their crap with each other, they don’t stand much of a chance of turning out to be any kind of functional adults.
Hard to have sympathy for a woman that doesn’t contribute financially to her children or family. The kids are 6 years old, probably in school, so there is no reason this woman couldn’t work part time at the very least. Stop whining.
If there is one thing I truly hate its when women bad mouth their exs constantly. I mean, I get it chika, you got jilted, your baby daddymama didnt marry you when you got knocked up, aint payin child support, you hate the prospect of living a life raising your kids alone and all that. But chika, you CHOOSE that person! It all started with your choice to procreate with that person. Deal with it. I’d hate to think someday I’d ever divorce my husband but if that time came I dont think I could ever talk sh-t about him. Im choosing him to be the father of my baby because I know he’ll be a awesome father and he’ll always be there for her.
Tammy sounds like she doesn’t know the difference between alimony payments and child support.
I’m not a fan of Melissa Etheridge’s personal dealings at all. She seems to be a serial cheater/dumper. But, with that said, Tammy doesn’t seem like a piece of cake to deal with either. I’m sure it does suck when payments you are expecting don’t come through, but it doesn’t seem like she even remotely tries to take responsibility herself for those kids financially. Melissa is not responsible for everything that is going wrong in Tammy’s life.
dont cheat.
Folks – Tammy came to Hollywood when she was just out of high school and within a year or two landed a role on a cutting edge but shortlived teen show, “Popular,” in which she shined and stole every scene. She had/has a great talent, please get the show from Netflix if you don’t believe me. She was superb, but soon after “Popular” was cancelled, she met ME.
Tammy – willingly, for her love for ME and from the commitment and promises ME gave her – gave up her very promising (at that point) career, had twins she adores, made a home for ME, and was in many ways the type of wife I worry about. Whether the couple is gay or straight, I worry when one person sets themselves to be so dependent. Tammy trusted ME to honor her commitment. Old fashioned? Naive? Short sighted? Or, as I believe, indicative of someone who herself had made that commitment, and who does have integrity.
I don’t know her but some of the older writings on her blog, about her very rough childhood, the deaths of some family members, the life she had with ME, her own children, etc, are beautifully written and very moving.
To my knowledge, she has no education or training in a field other than acting, and we all know how welcoming Hollywood is to actresses who aren’t 22 and haven’t acted in awhile. I very much hope she can re-establish herself as she’s a joy to watch. If not, or as Plan B, I hope there may be a career that interests her and that she’ll soon seek training for that.
Yes, the downgrade in lifestyle is probably a big shock. And the betrayal in her relationship has made her understandably bitter.
But still- she receives $276,000/year just from child support. If she puts 20% of that into savings (since child support runs out when the kids turn 18, and she’ll need some savings), then she has $220,000/year.
That’s enough to buy a $1 million house, a decent car, clothes and food and hey, even a cleaning lady who comes once a week. It’s certainly enough to buy a Christmas tree and some presents.
You know what, people? It’s CHRISTMAS. And to delay a child support check at Christmas is unforgivable.
I don’t give a damn who’s right and who’s wrong on this one, but it’s Christmas and that tightwad Etheridge needs to pony up the money NOW.
Vapid— lunatic. sentences changing like the phases of the moon———a cow jumping over——–full of beef. beef. beef is what we have but cheddar is what i need. like literacy.
Seriously, she could not save 1/23 out of last month’s check?
Do you know how many single moms who are getting by on less than $23K a YEAR, let alone a month? I also have no sympathy for the “my ex makes me beg for the child support check every month” bullshit. Use some of that money for a lawyer and you won’t have to put up with that crap. Of course, then you’d have to write free verse about the lint in your navel.
The check’s in the mail. Seriously? Do they know banks can arrange funds to go from one account to account without any worries. Same day, every month… magic! They both need to get their stuff together but the public airing is getting a little old.
Xmas is never cancelled, it will occur every year on the 25th; however your plans for a shopping spree will be. The side-ways comments she posts on blogs is her way of holding on; Melissa’sin sending those checks is her way of sticking it to her. People get cheated on & dumped daily, as messed up as that is, life goes on-except most don’t get the benefit of moving on with $23,000/month without having to work. She needs to shut up.
Melissa’s tardiness in
This is by NO means any disrespect to housewives … but this is why I never agree with a woman giving up her career for a man (or in this case a woman) ….. for anyone … I mean you grow up and are told you can be anyone you chose if you work hard and stay on the straight and narrow … and you go to college and spend all this money on trade school or acting classes or whatever and you end up marrying some rich person and sit at home and have babies…. YES having and raising babies is hard work but women do it every and work 9 to 5 jobs ..My neice’s mother has 3 girls under 5 and she works 6 days a week … NEVER COMPLAINS .. and my sorry ass cousin (their daddy) barley helps with anything ….I grew up in a family where my Grandmother who was born in 1928 worked up until she was 78 years old and raised 4 kids … Not because she had to( my Grandparents were married 50 yrs till his death) but because she never wanted to be a woman without money … just in case something happened to my Grandfather … That was in an era where no woman worked it was unheard of …. Every woman in my family worked …. my mother a single mother … The great thing is we women can have babies and worked and kick butt …. we are just that amazing … I never want security in a man financially …. Just his love and compassion and parenting skills … Is it wonderful to have a man take care of you yes … but isn’t it even better to make your own money and have a great family together and never have to take crap of anyone … being with someone for love and love alone
They don’t see you as family if you have to “take crap for money.”
And vice versa.
Some of the feminist stuff has just been a disintegration of some really beautiful ideas like working together to care for a family and motherhood.
Real men need strong women, they don’t do those weird power plays when they are real men. Adult men and women partner and don’t feel like they have to “do it all” themself.
That’s not even one bit rational for each person to double duty in a relationship.
I’m a feminist and a stay at home mom. I worked full time until two years ago, when I dropped down to part time. 3 months ago, I quit my job completely to stay home. We have one child in school, one who stays home with me, and are going to try for our 3rd and final baby early next year. I’m still adjusting to it- I really miss my coworkers and paychecks! However, I wouldn’t go back. Not yet. After all of our kids are in school, I may go back, but for now, I consider myself extremely lucky to be able to stay home. Even though I’ve fallen into a traditional gender role, I actually enjoy it.
My husband and I discussed this for two years before I quit my job. It’s way harder than I imagined it would be. At least when I was working, I had a break from being ‘mom’ for part of the day. I chose to do this because my kids will only be small once, and I want to spend as much time with them as possible. I missed my first child’s first steps. I HATED having to pump at work. I HATED leaving my babies at daycare. It’s a trade off, for sure, but it was worth it to me. As long as you have safe guards in place, you’re good. I plan on getting a few certifications online next year, just to keep up to date and to exercise my brain. Anyway, I know this turned into a novella, but I just wanted to share since I’ve been on both sides. There’s no “right” way, though. Whatever works best for your family is the right way for you! 🙂
I hear ya. And agree.
Personally I don’t blame Melissa for ditching this twat. But let’s be real here… Etheridge hasn’t had a hit since the mid ’90s… Is she making that much just touring?
It’s my understanding that artists get far more money from touring than they do from record sales. It might be different for someone later in their career like M.E. But she does a great live show, and she can probably still fill a venue with no problem even without new material.
From the sounds of the blog, Tammy seems seriously wacko. I bet she is the kind of mother that leaks this obsessive poison on to the kids. I hope Tammy is a good mom but there’s definitely a red flag as to her sanity in those paragraphs – yikes.
I’ve read all the bloggers, & people have made some great points/arguments.
Yeah, it’s very difficult for me to have any sympathy for Tammy because it’s called being a RESPONSIBLE PARENT, & part of being a responsible parent is parceling out the $$$, having the SENSE & INTELLIGENCE to know $$$ doesn’t grow on trees, & to adjust her, & her children’s lifestyles accordingly, so that w/receiving $23K/mth & royalties from songs, there’s never a rainy day. To me, there’s no excuse whatsoever for sitting somewhere, hat in hand, waiting for a 23K check because previous $ has already BEEN SPENT?! Shame on Tammy….shame, I say!
And…to have the audacity to blog about her “hard times” to the general public? Hmmm, she’s put herself in a position to be criticized….and criticize I will.
That being said, if I had to name the worst offender, I’m gonna say it’s Melissa E. Why? Because people who go through life using other people as TOILET PAPER (disposable & flushable), are reprehensible. And YES, after reading that ME is slow in making payments, especially at this time of the year, shame on that c*^t. There’s no excuse….absolutely no excuse. What a nasty, awful woman…inside and out.
Totally agree that Melissa is the worst offender of the two.
And Tammy agrees. Poor Tammy. I don’t pity her because she is (somehow!!) trying to provide her children with Xmas on $800 per day. I pity her because she doesn’t realize that she is willfully participating in her own self-righteous sorrow.
Yes, Tammy, you were hard done by. We all see that. Melissa, OTOH, doesn’t see it. Because Melissa can’t. That fantasy you have where she comes to you weeping and says, “But Tammy, you’re the finest, most wonderful human being alive and I treated you like garbage and now that I get it, I’m consumed with guilt…?” That is never going to happen and even if it ever did, Melissa would just go back to her normal self-serving ways in time.
Life is absurdly unfair. But unfairness doesn’t have to define us.
$23,000 a month and she can’t save for a rainy day. She says Melissa’s always late, then how about saving so you can still pay your bills. Chick hasn’t worked since she got with Melissa, get a job and be an adult.
Melissa chose to have children with Tammy, and that is no different from when a man does, in my opinion.
Tammy had every expectation that the two of them would continue as a couple. If Melissa had enjoyed the family life, she would have protected her family. It’s hard enough for a gay couple to make it without the added stresses of infidelity. I would totally have expected more from Melissa.
I think she should pay her child support on time. I have known women who go through this crap every month and it is a drag.
I don’t have any children but how much does she need 500.00 and a tree to pull off gifts for the kids maybe a thousand??
can’t she use her credit cards or borrow from family??
again, I don’t have any babies but surely it does not take 23,000
Melissa had me fooled, she’s a cheater and sneaky but this chick nds to move pass this.
I could not even read her blog, its too confusing…her writing.
my friends starting getting things for their kids back in Oct, even if its lil stuff, pj’s and books.
again, I don’t have kids, so maybe I’m wrong but even I start early getting things for my single mom friends that have babies, just to help them out.
truthful, No, you’re correct: it doesn’t take $23K to make a Christmas (and if it does, someone is doing it wrong) for 2 kids.
I think it’s more about how the child support isn’t met in a timely manner, (as well as the children being kept in the lifestyle to which they’ve become accustomed), but it’s that way for a LOT of women, and she seriously needs to shut up about it.
Unless she’s speaking to her attorney. In which case, go ahead and unload.
That writing makes me concerned for the kids. WTF? Move on with dignity, people will respect you a lot more for it.
If she spent less time writing those rambling “woe is me” posts and more time with a calculator, maybe, just maybe, she would be able to figure out a way to buy the kids some Christmas presents with her $25K “income.”
At first, I thought ME was being a royal witch, however, the more I hear about this woman and read the things that she writes, I understand and sympathize with Melissa. (Don’t condone her cheating, but whatever.)
I guess Melissa feels she got off cheaply.
When a couple makes a decision for one parent to stay home and take care of the kids and the household, why should that change because the non-caregiving parent decides to walk out on the family? In most cases there is no choice but for the custodial parent to go out and work, find childcare and let someone else raise the kids, let chores go undone, etc. because of finances. When the parent who walked out is a multimillionaire, why should the kids lose the lifestyle that their parents chose for them? Why is it important for one parent to be there before and after school, on weekends, on school breaks and all the rest of the time when the family is intact, but that parent becomes a lazy freeloader if they don’t stop doing those things to go get a job once they’re single? I call shenanigans on that. If the plan was for one parent to stay home and parent the kids/take care of the home, then it should stay that way for the sake of the kids. They didn’t make the other parent eff off to parts unknown and completely upend the life they knew.
Btw, why is it so hard to imagine Tammy would spend the time the kids are in kindergarten or 1st grade each day doing laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning house and all the rest of the mundane things every stay-at-home parent does? It’s gotta get done, doesn’t it? She’s not got enough bank to have people doing all that for her.
There are plenty of parents out there who have Christmas with a lot less money. Gold digger.