Last week, I never got around to writing about this dumb TMZ story in which Lindsay Lohan must have called them up to crack-whine about her incompetent lawyer, Mark Heller. Heller was actually called “incompetent” by the judge, which is scary because the California Justice System is all “would you like a blunt with your 3-day jail sentence for manslaughter?” Anyway, Lindsay called up TMZ to tell them that she’s definitely going to stick with Heller and she’s pissed off with the media for portraying Heller as some kind of My-Cousin-Vinny moron. LL reportedly said, “It’s all lies.”
Lindsay’s trial is set for the 18th and if she wants to switch lawyers, she has until the 17th I think. But for now she’s sticking with Heller, who is still in negotiations for a potential plea deal. Last we heard, the prosecutor had pretty much taken rehab off the table, which is good news for people who believe that Lindsay Lohan is “sober”. The sticking point seemed to be the jail sentence, I guess? But now it looks like jail is off the table and now the prosecutor is trying to get LL under house arrest:
Lindsay Lohan has been cut yet another break in the criminal justice system — prosecutors are offering house arrest to end her lying-to-cops and probation violation cases, but we’re told she’s NOT biting.
Multiple sources connected with the case tell TMZ … the Santa Monica City Attorney and the L.A. City Attorney have both softened their position from lockdown rehab to 90-DAY HOUSE ARREST.
In fact, we’re told Lindsay’s lawyer, Mark Heller, is telling prosecutors Lindsay will accept a certain amount of house arrest. Right now Heller and the prosecutors are squabbling over how much house arrest. But here’s the problem … sources connected with Lindsay are telling us LiLo is adamant — she will not accept ANY punishment.
Bottom line — sources connected with the case tell us there’s a 75% chance the case will go to trial on March 18th. If Lindsay rolls the dice and is convicted, she faces months of ACTUAL jail time.
Lindsay needs to go for door #1.
Of course the prosecution keeps on caving. Of course the bar keeps getting set lower and lower (“There’s a bar?” Lindsay asks, perking up). Of course Lindsay is still proclaiming her unyielding linnocence. Of course she will reject any deal that entails any kind of punishment because don’t you know she’s a white girl with big boobs and a crapload of entitlement? Ugh. This mess is going to trial. And what’s worse is that I think Lindsay will probably get her usual punishment: a soft pat on the firecrotch from Lady Justice.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
The prosecution has fallen under Crackie’s delusional crack spell. This just gets crackier by the minute.
Side note: That pic of Crackie (the full pic had Dina in it)in her black hat still makes me laugh.
I would love to see a picture of Lindsay next to Leann (the DC one) both in their thigh high black boot ensembles- MC voice in “Ladies & Gentlemen GIve it up for LiLo & LeLe the LOON sisters!”
That’s my favorite picture. It’s the one where I said she looks like a wax figure.
She has a personality disorder. That’s the only way I can explain such delusional behavior. A personality disorder probably fostered by extremely bad parenting.
That too, but I also think she’s still hoping that compromising sex-tape of her having under-age sex with a politician will get her out of trouble.
But that won’t work forever, Linds… if not this time, then the next time, but you will go to jail and pay for being a criminal.
@RocketMerry – is this sex tape a for sure thing now or still just speculation? This is the first I’ve heard that it was with a politician – I had always assumed it was with a Hollywood higher up.
Still speculation and rumours, but it’s the ONLY thing that explains this constant stream of judicial “whatevs” she’s given.
Whoever it is she’s blackmailing, I hope the measure is full.
I agree. I’m convinced she has borderline personality disorder. Her mom probably has it too. Read up on it. It’s fascinating.
Borderline personality disorder seems to describe her well.
Haha maybe at this point even LiLo is trying to teach the CA justice system something. “Another wimpy plea deal?! Have you learned nothing?! Are we going to have to go to trial just so you grow some balls and I get a real punishment for once?! I’m never going to learn anything if you all keep this up.”
“There’s a bar? Linsdey asks, perking up.”
Ha! Classic.
Sorry, I don’t believe she was offered this any more than I believe the stories that she was offer 1 mil for playboy or will be starring in Spiderman.
I wonder if Lindsay is an informant to the police or something similar. I have a coworker who’s sister is an absolute crack monster, a thief, a liar, a horrible human being but she is basically untouchable in court (and she’s been several times for selling meth and theft) because she’s a snitch for the cops.
You know, I think this is the first explanation of HoHan’s cracknanigans ever that actually makes sense. More than any sex tape blackmail etc.
Cracken as a Confidential Informant? I’m buying it. That would actually be the only excuse for why she feels so F-ing invincible and untouchable. It only stands to reason that she would be the one to find a way of throwing others under the bus to get herself off.
Fu@#ing loser!
This clears everything up and makes so much more sense of things.
Eva, brilliant hypothesis!
I have always thought that too!
How can she be under house arrest when she doesn’t have a house?
+1
Good one!
You make a good point…
And now it makes a little more sense why Cracken would reject a 90 days house arrest deal, because in all likelihood she’d have to serve her sentence at Dina’s home in New Jersey. Epic!
If that did happen, I wonder if during those 90 days their collective cracky madness would finally drive them over the edge and transform them into some Grey Gardens type characters… finally free to live in their own delisional world.
Isn’t Dina’s house in foreclosure?
There is no way she’d be sentenced to house arrest to be served in a different state.
Sounds like Blohan BS to me. TMZ always goes with the crack line
yep. she needs jail time.
I agree… Don’t believe a word of this.
Is her lawyer a really short man or is that picture at an odd angle?
He’s a little troll.
the prosecution = “Lindsey, we will send you to rehab, not jail”
Lindsey = “NO”
the prosecution = “ok, ok…not rehab, just house arrest”
Lindsey = “NO”
the prosecution = “ok, ok, how about if we give you a couple hundred bucks and bag of weed”
Lindsey = “maybe”
California is a joke!
^HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
This is going to sound terrible, but at this point in time, the only way she’ll ever do jail time in California is if she kills someone.
And I don’t just mean any old unimportant John or Jane Doe like you or me.
I mean someone noteworthy, someone with connections or money.
The authorities won’t give a damn until they’re forced to.
Absolutely true, Susie Q2.
I bet she would have taken the deal if the “house arrest” was at Charlie Sheen’s house. Two and a Half Cracktinies!!! Shaken not stirred.
This Lindsey Lohan court drama is getting old. She is not going to jail so we might as well just get used to the idea.
I call BS on he rejecting house arrest. She can’t do house arrest out of state because California authorities can’t monitor and she can’t do it in California because no one will rent to her. She is probably also rejecting probation because if it over a year she can’t apply for a transfer under the interstate compact (I think; however, this may only apply to felonies)
Yep. TMZ is either making up all these stories themselves or taking them directly from Lohan (and Kardashion) camps. I don’t believe half of what they say anymore .
God, I hope this goes to trial.
Also, have you noticed that the Cracken has been very low profile the last few weeks? No reports of late night/early morning bar scenes, no bad behavior (since the chopped up dress situation last month), so I wonder, what’s up?
Can she at times actually not act like an entitled sh!#head and keep it together? Is she laying low trying not to get in more trouble ahead of this trial date? Is she going to show up and say “look at how hard I’m working, I haven’t been in trouble for a month…” trying to establish some level of credibility (hah!) for the court? I’m curious since she’s never tried to stop the famewhoring or horrible, entitled behavior before.
Anyone have a hypothesis on this?
You’re right! She must be crack-passed out in a middle eastern oil magnate’s hotel room or something.
Or chained up in some “benefactor’s” basement. Or out of the country “working.”
I think you are right. I think she has been told to lay low so that their defense of “I’m turning my life around” will work. Doesn’t mean she’s not partying whereever she is living at.
Lindsay’s only fear? A sentence of a week in jail for each chin.
Only problem with that is that she’d be out in an hour per chin (or less).
LOL she doesn’t want any punishment, seems about right coming from her. And of course everybody must attend to what she says, it’s what they always do after all.
I hope it goes to trial and they get her thrown in jail or lock down rehab. She needs that, and the public needs a good stretch of time with her off the roads.
Didn’t she do house arrest or a monitoring anklet once before? Clearly didn’t work for her, and where would she be held? Chateau Marmont?
I think you need to re-watch My Cousin Vinny. Joe Pesci’s character ended up being a damn good attorney & proved that the 2 boys didn’t commit murder.
Do you REALLY think that this Heller clown will get LL off scott free? I sure as hell don’t.
The big difference, of course, is that Vinny’s clients were innocent.
The point it still the same: he won. We don’t want this Heller guy to win
Her lawyer looks like one of the orcs in Lord of the rings..gees.
Ha Ha I look at Lohan’s picture and Vivieene Wood’s photo is directly above it. This is Lohan in about 10 years. Sorry Vivieene.
Please please let her get arrested in Massachusetts.
I know a guy who got locked up for like 5 years for possession of an illegal gun.
“would you like a blunt with your 3-day jail sentence for manslaughter?”
HAHAHAHAHA! Oh Kaiser, you slay me!
California legal system only seems to work in LA……last year my son and a friend were surfing in Big Sur and they apparently crossed thru a remote area (on foot) that was private property. When they trecked back to where they had parked, they were greeted by several cop cars and officers who proceeded to ticket them for trespassing. Kiddies went to court and left there with a $580 fine and a year on probation!!!! My boy had never even gotten a parking ticket, no prior legal troubles whatsoever. Now he’s got that stupid shit on his record. Guess it’s true….it’s not who you know, it’s who you blow…….
It only works that way in LA for the rich & notorious. If she was an any day Jane Doe, she’d have been severe legal trouble long ago, and wouldn’t have had even HALF the opportunities this crackhead has been given.
Sorry about your son, btw. That sucks. (Was it posted as “Private Property” or “No Trespassing?”)
Thanks! It’s all behind him now. I thought it was funny in a way, cause leave it to my kid to pick the one spot with no clear boundaries and end up in so much trouble. He later told me it was totally worth it cause it ended up being an epic surf spot!
I know we’ve discussed Linnocent’s inappropriate court attire, but have we discussed White Oprah’s?
My god, woman, who wears a strobe-light-looking sleeveless top to their daughter’s COURT DATE?!?
She’s a white girl with boobs? Since when does a sense of entitlement only extend itself to white girls (with boobs)?? Why even bring race (or gender) into it at all? I saw another race comment on a recent Chris Brown thread (implying he’s judged differently because he’s black – nope, he gets away with murder too – it’s the celeb factor, not the skin color). Enough of that nonsense – people should be (and in my mind are) judged only, and entirely, on their actions.
wait, what did she do this time?
“It’s lies I tell you. ALL LIES” LL sounds like Frau Farbissina but Frau sure looks a Hell of a lot better…
I get it now, if you want to get off scott free for anything from stealing a candy bar to murdering n’ chopping up the body just repeat the mantra…”LIES I tell you…ALL lies”…
because those 5 words seem to make up Roachee’s 8 word limited vocabulary (besides me wanna, coke, vodka, it’s, free, help, yourself”
seriously try it, next time you find yoursel w/ hand in cookie jar, just repeat the mantra ‘lies, all lies’
seriously,
Let’s add “Move that cone!!” to her vocabulary please.
Oh please. She is not getting special treatment. This is not about treatment for the rich and famous. In fact someone else would have just had their probation terminated as unsuccessful and the case would have been over ages ago. Judges aren’t into locking up people in jail who have tried and failed rehab on probation for this minor offense.
This is all about violations of probation stemming from her substance abuse and possibly mental health issues – and that was probation for a minor offense.
It’s the media and public that are making a big deal of this – this case is NOT a big deal. Neither are her alleged violations. She seems to have tried and made efforts but judges understand the numerous relapses that happen and they aren’t out for blood or jail time when they occur. I also assume the judge is privy to information we are not privy to about her mental health. That info would be very influential in any judge’s actions.
Again a non-famous person in a similar position would have had their probation simply terminated as “unsuccessful” and been done with it ages ago.
So all you have to do is violate probation enough times and then you’re let loose as an unsuccessful probation? Who knew.
Likewise- stealing $2500 worth of jewelry is a minor offense? Again- who knew…
If it’s that easy, why wouldn’t everyone just opt for an “unsuccessful” probation? Seems way easier than a successful one!
“… this case is NOT a big deal. Neither are her alleged violations.”
Katherine, not to be rude, but: Do you know, and — more importantly — actually comprehend the specifics of this case?
Lindsay was driving dangerously and recklessly. Plus, she also blatantly lied to officers and willfully attempted to obstruct justice after she, personally, rammed into the back of that truck.
I’m not certain where you live, but, as someone who frequently rides in vehicles on the PCH, I can assure you that it was quite nearly a miracle that she didn’t end up killing or severely injuring someone (or herself), given the nature of her accident and the extent of the damage sustained by the vehicles.
Also, as someone who incurred permanent spinal and neurological damage in a nearly identical accident (caused by another reckless driver who, incidentally, also tried to obstruct justice), I also can’t help but find your comment ridiculously offensive. Seriously; you weren’t the victim in her accident, nor were you someone who was directly effected, so how dare you trivialize it as “not” being “a big deal”? Have you not seen the crash photos?
This was not, by any means, some little “fender-bender”. She was obviously driving far too fast and not paying adequate attention to the road, thus jeopardizing the lives of herself and everyone around her. (In fact, I highly doubt that others who were driving near her on that freeway would consider it “not a big deal” that she thoughtlessly risked their lives.) And, again, she blatantly LIED to the police, afterwards, and tried to shift the blame onto one of the other innocent victims (her assistant)!
Plus, as jwoolman stated, theft is very much a “big deal”, as well — whether you, yourself, care to deem it as such or not.
I’m sorry for the lengthy comment, but I am just absolutely astounded that anyone could think that Lindsay’s crimes are “not a big deal”. But, perhaps that’s why people keep letting her off the hook…just so that she can go out and commit even worse crimes…?
(By the way, I am not a rich or famous person, and neither was the driver who hit me, in my accident case. However, that man did get jail time and other punishment for driving recklessly and obstructing justice. So, Katherine, again, your statements would appear as false as the statements that Lindsay gave to the police. Normal, “non-famous” people ARE punished for similar crimes, and very rarely get as good of treatment as she’s received, thus far.)
Well said, Angel. It was a miracle she didn’t hurt or kill someone. What of the vehicle in front of her had been a small car with children in the back?
She is dangerous. Her crimes, while labeled “misdemeanors,” are still serious, or she wouldn’t have been charged. i don’t know why everyone constantly minimizes and makes excuses for her, either. But I hope it will stop before she kills someone.
This story was sold to tmz through Side Show Heller, its the only way he’s making a buck and hand jobs from Dina aren’t paying the airline bills. The prosecution didn’t take 6 LONG MONTHS to put together a case just to offer the flat freckled ass SLAG a slap on the ole Firecrotch. My theory is the DA’s aren’t taking My Cousin Heller’s calls because they’ve told them what exactly they’ll accept in the form of a ‘deal’ and it aint to Blohans liking. Poor Side Show Heller can only make plea offers through tmz, hoping the prosecution will bend. Not gonna happen!
Please Lindsay, reject all deals. Continue to steal and hit and run drivers, it’s no problem ; the state of California will give you a free pass. Eventually you will kill a poor soul and someone will notice. It will eventually happen, mark my word.
the only way shes going to be sent to jail is if the IRS goes after tax evasion. Same problem with Capone in the 30’s, he had too much money, too many connections to get him on any other crimes, and they had to settle for tax evasion..
She is so ugly now. I bet Wilmer is embarrassed to admit he tapped it.
will someone put this repeat offender behind bars?????????