Lindsay Lohan Open Post: Hosted by a crackie who can’t fly commercial

Hahahaha. Lindsay Lohan is due in court today to begin The Great Crack Trial of 2013, but it’s looking more and more like she’s not going to make it, or she won’t make it on time. Here is a rundown of everything that’s happened in the past 24 hours:

*Yesterday, Lindsay was in New York and she boarded a private plane because OMG how does she afford a private plane?!!? She was originally planning to fly back to LA on Saturday, but those plans were scrapped.

*And then after boarding the private plane, “she decided to get off and she left her bags behind.” “Sources close to Lindsay” (re: Lindsay) told TMZ that she believed “there was a problem with the plane” like a fuel leak or something. The 35 other people on the plane also de-boarded too. Sources claimed Lindsay just sat in the airport lounge, calling and texting all of her johns, asking if anyone had a private plane she could borrow because heaven forbid she travel commercial, right?

*But TMZ notes that the plane did fly after an hour delay, and the plane stopped in Vegas to refuel before continuing to LA.

*Eventually, Lindsay managed to blow her way onto another private plane, this one funded by Mr. Pink energy drink (which LL crack-promotes). TMZ says that the plane is scheduled to land in Van Nuys at 8:11 PST, and the courthouse is 20 minutes away. And she’s due in court at 8:30 PST. Basically, she’s definitely going to be late and the judge could issue a bench warrant.

*Her assistance Gavin is on the flight with her. Gavin was one of the people who “rolled” on her to the cops, and by that we mean that the cops asked him what happened and Gavin answered honestly.

*The prosecution is not amused by all of Lindsay’s crack shenanigans. They will be asking the judge to “throw the book” at LL and sentence her to 240 days in jail for lying to the cops (when she gave her statement after her PCH accident). If and when she’s found guilty, the City Attorney is also going to get involved and ask for a jail sentence because she’s violated her probation. And if she’s convicted, her probation will be extended another two years, so… yeah. She really needs to be found guilty.

*The court proceedings should begin around 11:30 EST/8:30 PST. This is your Open Post for the Crack Festivities and we’ll be updating or doing new posts later (or tomorrow) depending on what’s happening.

UPDATE: Lohan finally arrived at court 48 minutes late. But TMZ says her lawyer might have already left?

UPDATE #2: Radar says Mark Heller is currently speaking to the judge while Lindsay sits in the courtroom and the prosecutor sits there fuming. LOL, jail? Also, Lindsay had an escort of 6 sheriff’s deputies to go to the bathroom.

UPDATE #3: Apparently, Heller and the judge have been working out some kind of plea deal all this time? TMZ says Heller’s co-counsel just grabbed some plea deal forms.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

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362 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan Open Post: Hosted by a crackie who can’t fly commercial”

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  1. dorothy says:

    What a complete fool.

  2. Happymom says:

    Nothing ever changes. God forbid she take this seriously and fly in on Friday or Saturday to make sure that she’s there, rested-maybe meet with her “lawyers” over the weekend. And it’s not as though she’s flying in late because she’s working. I’m fascinated to see what the judge is going to do.

  3. Ruby Red Lips says:

    I’m so evil I really want her to be late & for the judge to throw her in jail – the arrogance of not bothering to get back in good time for court, why doesn’t the law see she doesn’t give a flying f*ck!!!

    And c’mon Kaiser, we all know how she pays for her private jets owned by rich old men… 😉

    • cassius. says:

      I don’t think that’s evil at all. She has been given SO many chances.

      • Thiajoka says:

        I think back to Robert Downey, Jr. and how the judge kept giving him chance after chance and finally thought jail would straighten him out best–and it seemed to do so. Maybe that’s what LiLo needs, too.

    • The Original Tiffany says:

      Ruby Red if that is evil, I guess we are all evil. 🙂
      This is even on major news like CNN this morning.

      I hate to get excited because she always gets off. Please let jail time be a belated birthday present for me.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        I know, I have learned that you have to manage expectations in all things Cracken because justice is NEVER served.

    • Annie2 says:

      Sign me up for the evil club. I so wish I was a judge. Turds like her would be gone for a long time

    • Ruby Red Lips says:

      Excellent to see I’m not the only evil one here! 😉

      Cracktinis all around…

  4. aims says:

    how in the hell is this girl flying private, when she can’t pay her bills?? Every time I see her she either looks strung out.

  5. Quinn says:

    Is the electric chair too much to ask for??

    • cmc says:

      LMAO! I was thinking more like by firing squad…

      edit: DEFINITELY joking here, please don’t think I actually want her to die…I just want her to dry out in prison.

      • Jen says:

        You can dry out an alcoholic, but you can’t dry out an a**hole.

        Even if she sobers up, she will never, ever, ever change.

    • Samantha says:

      Some nice stuff injection would be more… ecologically. We should save energy unless electric chair works on solar panels. How about gas chamber? Too oldschool? 😉

  6. OrangeOprah says:

    I’m so hoping the judge plays “hardball” with Dina’s “child”. This crackola has gone on long enough.

  7. cmc says:

    Gavin is on the plane WITH her? Sounds to me like he’s either gotten paid off or she rehired him or something. He’s not going to testify against her if he’s hanging out with her before the trial.

    • Apsutter says:

      He will if they subpoena him which they certainly will. And they have his statement to the police and I doubt this kid will lie go the court for his piece of trash boss who treats him like garbage. Plus he’s not famous or rich so he could easily get convicted of perjury.

      • littlestar says:

        I agree with you, if Gavin now lies and says she wasn’t driving, it’ll be as easy as pie to charge him with perjury. I couldn’t believe it when I was reading the article that he’s back to being her assistant – he must be getting some kind of big perks to put up with her abusive *sshole behaviour.

    • Byte Me says:

      I highly doubt Gavin flew in with her as I believe he arrived in LA yesterday.

    • Talie says:

      That Gavin dude had a big write up in the NY Times Style section a couple weeks ago. It was one of the sadder things I’ve read…just a vapid portrayal of someone obsessed with fame and movie stars.

    • Tiffany :) says:

      I don’t think it will matter though. The truck driver, other witnesses, airbag injuries, seatbelt welts will all prove who was driving even without Gavin’s testimony.

  8. sirsnarksalot says:

    If Gavin is now back with Lilo, I guess that means he won’t make much of a witness for the prosecution anymore…altho there is a little problem called perjury if he does lie on her behalf.

  9. brin says:

    All this crackieness before she even gets to court…that’s our Blohan!

  10. TheyPromisedMeBeer says:

    YES! Yall did do an open post on this! And she’s already bringing a full herd of Drama Llamas with her on that private plane! Got my popcorn and cracktinis ready, ladies. Who’s joining?

    (Is it bad that this is the highlight of my day off? Like, guys, I am sofa king stoked about this).

    • erika says:

      hell no!!! i live 4 this!

    • Sarcasmo says:

      I’ve got the CRACKerjacks! Lightly dusted with sea jasper, natch. 😉 Pass me one of those cracktinis, would you?

      • TheyPromisedMeBeer says:

        Oooooh CRACKerjacks, that’s a good one! 🙂 *passes cracktini* *scoots over to make room on the couch*

      • The Original Tiffany says:

        Perfect timing for me. NYC is getting hit with a huge snow storm. I’m going to snuggle up and watch this mess.

        Crackmosa, anyone? Served with shots of delusion on the side with sea jasper rims…in an orange cone shot glass of course!

      • Heidi in the Alps says:

        I’m more for the savory, so I’ll bring CRACKers and cheese.

        Don’t much like squishing in on the couch so I’ll grab my ‘tini and flop on the floor. Just for fun, I’m gonna smudge my under eye mascara, too. I draw the line at ‘F-you’ nail art. Too time consuming.

      • The Original Tiffany says:

        Heidi, I pulled the sofa bed out. C’mon beside me, there is lots of room.

        And cracktinis.

        Pass the crack corn, the pork cracklings, the works. We’ve got ALL day.

    • j.eyre says:

      I’d love to join you, PromisedBeer, but since my heavily inflated tax dollars are paying for this bullsh!t, I don’t think I an stomach it for too long.

      But I will stick around for one of your micro-brews, of course.

      • TheyPromisedMeBeer says:

        Afternoon, Ms. Eyre! How was your St. Patty’s day? Is everything going okay in the Battle of the Blondes post? I’m too hungover to handle that today.

        I see your point about why you can’t watch this trainwreck, because I think it’s bs that she keeps getting off the hook; at the same time, Lindsay’s crack-drama was my distraction from homework the first go around in college. I watch this to remind myself that even though I’m a broke-ass, overworked, undersexed college student (again), at least I’m going about life in the right way and I’m attempting to actually better myself and move ahead.

        I should really stop looking so deeply into this, you know?

  11. Cool Phosphorescent Shimmer says:

    Actually, the story is that she got off the commercial flight right before takeoff because of the bad vibes or hallucinations or what have you, and then she finagled the private plane in the middle of the night.

    It’s much harder to get your snort on when you fly commercial.

    • Nemesis says:

      Wouldn’t it be great of they drug tested her as soon as she walked into the court house? Just handed her a cup and made her pee infront of someone so she couldn’t switch the pee. Or drew some blood! Oh yes draw her blood so she has no choice. If they could find an original hair on her head the machine that tests that would probably o.d.

  12. Dawning Red says:

    The Trial of the Century: Lindsay Lohan vs. Reality. Day one

    Mark Heller, Defense Attorney: “So Miss Lohan, what were you doing on the night in question?”

    Lindsay Lohan: “Oh, probably doing a beej for a bag of crack as usual.”

    Heller: “Heh – heh heh – funny girl, your honor! Ain’t she a cut-up?”

    Lohan: “Oh wait – I’m supposed to call it sea jasper, right?”

    Heller: “No, no I, uh, meant the answer on your wrist, sweetie!”

    Lohan: “Oh, right!” (Looks at the writing on her left wrist) “That night I was off helping sell girl scout cookies at the local church after I had just given medical checkups on a group of people saving their lives!”

    Heller: “And so these reports of you lying to the cops are completely false?”

    Lohan: (Looking at the writing on her right wrist) “Absolutely! I am a wholesome and chaste girl, and would never do anything to break the law or act in a way that would shame my sainted mother or myself!”

    At this point, court proceedings have to be halted for ten minutes while paramedics remove sevral court members after having laughed so hard that they vomited their lungs out.

    Heller: “Defense rests, your honor!”

    Terry White, Prosecutor: “Miss Lohan, is the officer who accused you of being the driver in your accident in the courtroom right now?”

    Lohan: “He is.”

    White: Please point to him, if you would.”

    Lindsay then stands up and points to a portrait of an impeccably dressed man hanging above the judge.

    Judge James Dabney: “For the record, Miss Lohan has identified the court picture of President Obama as the culprit.”

    Lohan: “Well, it’s always the Black guy, right?”

    White: “Moving along, you discussed medical checkups earlier. Who were you performing it on?

    Lohan: “This guy wearing a football helmet with a dozen 8-balls in his back pack.”

    White: “So you were assessing the health of a football player?”

    Lohan: “Oh, no! I was doing that to the entire football team, along with the coaches, their parents, the people working the concession stands, the parking lot attendants, the security guards, the guy sweeping the lot, the – ”

    White : “ALL of them?”

    Lohan: “I’m a strong believer in performing community service! I love servicing the community!”

    White: “Miss Lohan, I find it hard to believe that you even know how to perform any kind of medical technique. Tell me, how did you assess what was wrong with them?”

    Lohan “Well, after they give me a twenty, I ask them if they prefer if I spit or swallow, then I pull down their pants and – ”

    Judge Dabney: “All right, I’m calling a lunch recess”

    Lohan: “Hey your honor, is it okay if I do a few lines on your desk during lunch? Or should I do that in the bathroom as usual?”

    • erika says:

      omg….omg….omg….omg…………….

    • Blondie says:

      So funny ! You should be a comedy writer.

    • lady mary. says:

      LOL,SO BLOODY AWESOME,i so wish this were true, @dawning red i wish i could write half as well as you,but honestly i sometimes wish she could get her messed up self together

    • Jag says:

      Extra cracks in your tinis for that wonderful laugh you just gave me!

    • lee savage says:

      Oh gosh, there was me thinking she was just a cracking little actress this whole time.

    • JenD says:

      If that’s day one, I can’t wait til day two. That’s hilarious!

    • Sarcasmo says:

      Ah, Dawning, how I’ve missed your narratives!! 😀

    • karmasabiatch! says:

      Bahaha!!

      Headline: “Seattle Woman Inhales Coffee While Laughing – Kills Self”

      OMFG, that was hilarious! Even if I now have coffee-filled lungs from laughing uncontrollably, that was a total rip. Pfanks! Urrrr…could someone pass me a cracktini now, please?

  13. M says:

    She must be scared knowing she’s going to jail this time

    • Jen says:

      If she was scared or respected the law even ONE IOTA, she’d have been in town by at least Friday, and she would have shown up EARLY.

  14. GeeMoney says:

    That weave in the first pic of her is HIDEOUS!

  15. Apsutter says:

    Does no one else think its freaking insane that this crazy bitch has been on probation for 5 straight years?!? 5 years!

    • Shelly says:

      It is insane. And insane she hasn’t been thrown in jail before now for all of the probation violations. I was on probation for 18 months years ago for a first-offense DUI, and I completed everything I needed to early (all of those classes, etc.), paid my fines early, and showed up every single month on time to meet with my probation officer (and I did this while I worked full-time and had no drivers license since my license was suspended too for a while – so what is her excuse?!). And I still felt like my probation officer would have liked to mess with me, and I did everything early and didn’t mess around or get in any other trouble. It was the longest and most expensive 18 months of my life, one I care to never repeat. If I had messed up, I know I would have been in more trouble than she has ever had to deal with. But I am a normal person who actually learned something (like don’t drink and drive, DUH), unlike this trick. And I live in Texas where they don’t baby people who break the law.

  16. Shelly says:

    I seriously don’t know how this girl gets private planes at her beck and call. Or why she thought booking the last commercial flight out to LA on the night before her trial was a good idea. A normal person would have flown out days earlier to rest up and prepare. I expect her to look completely cracked out when she arrives to court, what with being up all night. She is so stupid.

  17. Ms Kay says:

    Honestly, I do not wish her ill, I simply hope she will get off the self destructive path soon enough… It’s never easy… Been there…

    Oi apart from that, open post.. ladies…. How was your St Paddy’s Day?

  18. Cat says:

    I always make a bet with my friends on whether or not she will wear a bra to court. We all know Lindsay loves the braless look.

  19. erika says:

    she just has to do this s***t last minute doesn’t she? Roachella! why not take Wonder Woman’s invisible plane to LA? Like, at 4pm in the afternoon today? and then Wonder Woman can turn/turn/turn and lasso you back in time to 8.30am like NOW time and you’ll magically be in LA!

    Wonder Crackie Woman!!!

    Wonder Crackie! Wonder Roachie!
    All the world’s waiting for you,
    and the B**llsh***t you possess.

    In your Chanel sheath dress n Louboutin shoes,
    Fighting for your rights
    And the Vodka, Coke and sniffin Glue

    Wonder Crackie!Wonder Roachie!
    Now the court waited 3 hrs for you,
    and all the crack-shenanigans you can do.

  20. Muprhy says:

    Murphy’s Law (which works against everyone by working for Lindsay) says that Shawn will show up.

  21. sassy says:

    So happy the dr put me off work today/tomorrow -now I can watch the Lohan drama unfold 😉

  22. & says:

    I’m hoping she gets the 240 days in jail, but at the same time, that’s 240 days of blohan-free gossip. Okay, the safety of the public is more important. She’ll probably get all Conrad Murray on us and whine from jail anyway and we’ll hear all that nonsense.

  23. Shauna says:

    Watching TMZ, coffee ready, thinking of popping popcorn. So ready for this.

    • Shelly says:

      +1! Good times! 😉

    • chichai says:

      i got a bowl of cheerios even though it is almost noon on the east coast.

    • Syko says:

      On my second bowl of popcorn already.

    • erika says:

      she’s LATE. 9:00 am here and she still hasn’t shown up to the courthouse. She landed at LAX actually at/around 8:15.

      Been checking in on TMZ sight and her lawyer, Heller, showed up on time but then was seen driving AWAY from the courthouse at 8:45am….? Driving away?

      Michael Lohan is in the court still waiting for Roachie.

      she’s late, late for a v. important date which will likely send her to jail. How many times has she screwed herself? Well…none actually.

      Come on y’all….there’s NO way in HELL she’s NOT going to jail when she hasn’t even showed up to court on time!!!

      at

  24. Sam says:

    Dear God. If there is one single rule that defendants are supposed to abide by, its “be on time.” Seriously. The judge is basically gonna make every decision that can screw you over. Are you really gonna make the judge hate you?

    She basically is saying “I don’t care about any of this. I can do what I want and the lawyers and judges will wait for me.” Who knew drugs could cause such horrible delusions?

    • fabgrrl says:

      Seriously. If I had a court date, I would probably camp out in front of the courthouse, or on my lawyer’s lawn, just to make sure I was on time and prepared.

      • Poink517 says:

        Me too! I would be so anxious about it that I would be up my lawyer’s ass making sure I did everything he/she told me to do!

      • Sam says:

        So would I. People will screw over their lawyers, but if you anger a judge, I can basically assure you that you will not be happy with the end result. Judges do not like to be kept waiting. If she was due in court on Monday, she should have been in LA on Friday or Saturday at the latest. What a moron.

      • Tulip Garden says:

        Yes,yes, yes what you said!
        The only court date I’ve ever had was this month. I got summoned for jury duty. I was super paranoid about being on time. I thought I would hyperventilate when I realized I had gone to the wrong building, thankfully the correct one was within walking distance across the street. At any rate, there was around 150 potential jurors that showed up. The judge informed us that he had sent summons to about 350 people! He was livid and said that as he was retiring that one of his last duties on a case would be grab some deputies and start hunting down those that ignored court summons.
        I guess I’m just too respectful of the system to understand people who blow it off especially defendants.

    • Jag says:

      The other judges haven’t cared when she was late, so doubt this one will, either. I would love for the book to be thrown at her and for her to have to serve every second of that 240 days in jail, but I’m not holding my breath.

  25. Bacon! says:

    *And then after boarding the private plane, “she decided to get off and she left her bags behind.” “Sources close to Lindsay” (re: Lindsay) told TMZ that she believed “there was a problem with the plane” like a fuel leak or something. The 35 other people on the plane also de-boarded too.*

    THE PLANE HAS NO LEFT PHALANGE!!

  26. Ginger says:

    UGH! Did the plane HAVE to land here? Don’t let the cracken infect Las Vegas! We already have our fair share of crackies to deal with.

  27. Mich says:

    Eight minutes till she is officially late! *Rubs hands with glee*

    TMZ live feed running quietly in background while I work. Loved the pap comments the last time we did this!

  28. PinkG says:

    Ha Ha HA. TMZ has a timer.

  29. TheyPromisedMeBeer says:

    I want to hear from some of the 35 other people who had to get off that commercial plane with Lindsay. Was there actually a problem with the gas leaking, or was Lindsay just creating a disturbance?

    Oh, and apparently she was not in LA this past weekend because she wanted to catch a concert. According to D-listed, anyways. Sort of like how she almost missed a trial because she had to be in Cannes. Or was “sick”. Or, or, or … just throw the damn book at her already.

    • fabgrrl says:

      You know, they were probably grateful. An hour’s delay is a small price to pay for an Lohan-free flight. I’ll bet they all sneaked back on quietly and took off as soon as she was distracted.

    • Mia 4S says:

      Considering the plane landed last night at LAX (late but fine) I think we can answer that question just fine. 😉

  30. Nanz01 says:

    How did she manage to get her plane DIVERTED to LAX (putting her closer to the courthouse)? Ugh, it’s like the universe is just messing with us now.

    • Shelly says:

      She’s SPECIAL, don’t ya know?! She’s Lindsay Lohan, World-Famous Movie Star!! Gag.

    • Bread and Circuses says:

      It was a private plane provided by Mr. Pink energy drink.

      Here’s the phone conversation:
      Lindsay: “OMG, I CAN’T PROMO YOUR DRINK IN DUBAI IF I GO TO JAIL!!”

      Mr. Pink representative: **sigh** “That’ll cost you one tweet about our generosity, and two extra beejs for the owner. Try not to get cocaine everywhere this time, and DON’T sit on the seats without panties.”

  31. cmc says:

    LATE! Now what?

  32. Cathy says:

    Aaaahhhh crackenmonster we love ya. To bad I have to work. This is a perfect days to sit back and drink a few cracktinis.

  33. lizzi says:

    Did her lawyer just get there and leave!?

  34. Happy21 says:

    She should get the book thrown at her simply for being an insufferable twat!

  35. Nanz01 says:

    HAHA. Some network just texted their “journalist” to tell him to watch what he says bc TMZ is live-streaming. I think I heard him complaining about doing this for 20 years. His boss must have heard him. =)

    • Dawning Red says:

      The guy probably meant to say that if you totalled up the amount of time Lohan has been late to court, the papz have been waiting there for about 20 years!

  36. PinkG says:

    She will probably get a police escort to the courthouse. Has anyone ever added up how much of taxpayer’s $$ she has wasted? It has to be in the MILLIONS!

  37. Sarcasmo says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!! TMZ has a countdown of how late she is to court.

  38. Mia 4S says:

    I think this story is a bit off. Apparently she skipped her Saturday flight (commercial) to go to a concert. She got on a commercial flight on Sunday and freaked out or something and got off. The thing is the plane was delayed, but it left and landed just fine in LA last night! Then she called the energy drink guys she shills for (I’m not saying the name but she tweeted her thanks). They lent her the plane…in exchange for God knows what!

  39. Shelley says:

    Move that court date! I’m Lindsay Lohan!!

  40. Blannie says:

    Is anyone getting audio on TMZ’s livestream? I can’t get any audio to work. 🙁

  41. CC says:

    I would trad being cracken-free for 240 days for the feeling that law might treat offenders equally. I would like to see any non-celeb pull this shit, and see the consequences.

  42. chichai says:

    You got to be kidding me? A helicopter to the courthouse?

    absolutely no words here

  43. Shelly says:

    I bet Ms. Holley is happy she isn’t dealing with this crack drama today!

    • TheyPromisedMeBeer says:

      I’d bet good money that Shawn Holley is secretly watching TMZ right now like the rest of us. Just, you know, in a separate window so she can minimize it real quick when someone walks in her office.

  44. dorothy says:

    She’s either ballsy or just stupid as dirt.

  45. Sylvia says:

    I actually look forward to her court dates, makes Monday interesting!

  46. original kay says:

    does anyone know if TMZ will be allowed in the court room?

  47. lady mary. says:

    god lord ,look at all the reporters waiting

  48. chichai says:

    *shakes up some cracktinis*

    happy hour begins! free appetizers if she gets jail time!

  49. Dawning Red says:

    I’m glad I have vacation right now. This is comedy at it’s finest!

    • Enid says:

      Only 36 minutes late. It’s like she was practically early!

    • cmc says:

      Am I on a delay or what? I haven’t seen her!

      • Melissa says:

        Its hit the 40 minute mark of her being late and she still isn’t there!! How long will the judge and everyone wait around? I think it’s ridiculous if the judge has waited this long. Throw her in jail and move on to the next case!!

      • Itsa Reallyme says:

        @Melissa–I agree with you. She is wasting the time of so many people. Everyone else that’s on the docket today is now screwed. The people at the end of the day will probably be pushed back to another date. She has no respect for anyone. Think of all the others that are paying their lawyers today, by the hour, and will now have to shell out more money.

    • Poink517 says:

      I saw the black SUV – who was that?

  50. Shauna says:

    I bet her lawyer left to meet her and travel in with her. That way he gets to make the walk twice. He’s a little bit of a publicity hound, if you all haven’t noticed. 😉

    I think I just heard that she’s almost there, with police escort.

  51. dorothy says:

    How much is this costing California’s taxpayers?

  52. needsmeds says:

    40 minutes late lmao!

  53. Shelly says:

    Seriously – THROW THE BOOK AT HER!!!! WHO shows up almost an hour late to their own trial?!?! This is beyond ridiculous!

    • Jag says:

      She does. Time and time again. Only once do I remember the judge issuing a bench warrant, and that was when she wasn’t even in CA at the time.

    • Itsa Reallyme says:

      And it would never be tolerated from any other random citizen.

  54. HappyJoyJoy says:

    She has no sense of real life, does she? I hate to say this, but I’m still surprised she survived 2012. I don’t think it’ll be long before she accidentally kicks the bucket.

  55. Melissa says:

    I am beginning to worry that she isn’t even going to show at all. Maybe the plane got diverted out of the country! 🙂

  56. The Original Tiffany says:

    She is still not there. We could all drown in a vat of Crackmosas and Cracktinis by the time this bitch shows up.

    I wonder if the media hates her ass too or are they just as amused by this as us?

    Bets on the outfit? Bra? Visible nipples? FU on her nails?

    Just arrived. White outfit and what’s with the gold glitter coming out of her car?Did she come from Studio 54?

  57. cmc says:

    Did someone throw sand at her?! What was that??

  58. Poink517 says:

    And here she is! 48 min late!

  59. Sarcasmo says:

    The Cracken just made her entrance…

  60. Shelly says:

    The Virgin in White has just arrived.

  61. Enid says:

    What is she wearing?

    And did she throw glitter at someone?

  62. Jag says:

    The judge won’t do anything. There should already be a warrant for her arrest because she’s late. When, oh when, will the CA justice system start treating her like the cracktastrophe that she is?

  63. SageM says:

    Got to say, that was a cute outfit, don’t you think?
    What happens now? The seal’s on.

  64. Eleonor says:

    Of course she can’t fly commercial,but only on a private jet.
    “Once an A-list always an A-list”

  65. Harper says:

    Would someone be able to post the livestream link? Is that allowed? Thanks!

  66. Gemini08 says:

    Looking at these pics makes me feel like if you stood next to LL you would smell stale alcohol and cigarettes.

  67. Poink517 says:

    Is anyone seeing or hearing anything on TMZ yet? All I see is te CA seal, no sound….

    • cmc says:

      Nothing yet. I don’t know if the judge is just hearing the next case since she was so late (I’m not a law expert, anyone?) and TMZ doesn’t want to show that? Or the judge is making her wait? Whatever’s going on, her trial hasn’t started yet.

    • Jag says:

      Nope, not yet.

    • SageM says:

      Nope, same as you.

    • Shelly says:

      Yeah, nothing yet. I wonder if they’ll even have the trial today or if she’ll be charged with contempt of court first, since she was so late.

    • GiGi says:

      Ugh! For some reason I can’t get the feed at all on TMZ – my kids are home from school today so I’m trying to watch on my ipad during nap – I don’t want to go out to my office to watch on my computer, lol!

  68. OrangeOprah says:

    She looks old and haggard and just used up. What a mess she’s made of her life.

    • cmc says:

      I dunno man, I think she looks kind of fabulous in that picture TMZ just posted. Great outfit, and gold glitter raining down? It’s like she planned it!

      • Jag says:

        Agreed! I actually think she looks better than she has in a long time. That outfit is really cute, in the one picture with the glitter.

  69. dorothy says:

    They’re probably doing a cavity search and delousing her before she enters courtroom.

  70. jane says:

    The TMZ late countdown was the HIGHLIGHT of my morning. Hurry up Crackhead, the Jodi Arias trial is starting.

  71. TheyPromisedMeBeer says:

    LEGAL QUESTION TIME: If Lindsay starts in with excuses on why she is late, can the judge whip out a iPad/laptop/whathaveyou with TMZ and all of the gossip sites up with photo evidence of her shenanigans to prove otherwise? Or is that frowned upon?

    • Mia 4S says:

      I don’t know California but I think generally citing TMZ might be a bad idea. That said, if Lilo lies she is screwed!! The judge could easily ask for copies of travel arrangements and proof of her claims. Also I would guess that the judge could have the clerk call LAX and confirm the original flight landed just fine. That’s just judicial notice of something in the public domain I would say.

      What I really want the judge to do after all this is rule that due to unforeseen circumstances the hearing will be delayed until tomorrow. Give Crackie a taste of her own medicine!

      • TheyPromisedMeBeer says:

        I think if the judge delayed the trial for that reason, Lindsay wouldn’t take the hint; she would just call up “some old friends” in town and party like it was 1999. And then be late for tomorrow’s hearing.

  72. OhMyMy says:

    I’m at work today. Monitoring by smartphone. Keep the updates coming.

  73. Nikki says:

    Her lawyer left to meet her at LAX, they arrived in the same car on the way back.

  74. dorothy says:

    Can they charge her with contempt of court because she was late? Just wondering. Legal people, can they?

  75. Sisi says:

    this is taking looooong :/

  76. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Am waiting… c’mon start the trial…

    Assuming it will be live feed – can the judge say no to this?

  77. valleymiss says:

    Someone upthread said they don’t think LL is gonna make it through the year. I think she’s gonna join The 27 Club. She turns 27 in July…

  78. Itsa Reallyme says:

    Why does she always get a different set of rules applied to her? She’s been given every opportunity to clean her act up. It’s time for real jail time. No more private cell. She needs to be mixed in with the general population. Maybe she’d actually learn something this time. I think the other women in there probably have much higher morals and values.

  79. Ruyana says:

    Radar online says the DA and Heller are in the judge’s chambers.

    • Jag says:

      Oh great. A last minute plea and no trial then. Another slap on the wrist. My guess is it’ll be no more than 30 days of home monitoring, and no drug or alcohol testing. blah!

    • Mich says:

      They said more than that 🙂

      9:35 a.m. PT: The District Attorney and Lindsay’s attorney Mark Heller are now in Judge Dabney’s chambers. Lindsay is sitting at the counsel table, and her eyes are red. Prosecutor Terry White look ‘livid.’

      • Jag says:

        I wonder if the Prosecutor is livid because any other judge with any non-celebrity criminal would’ve issued a bench warrant to get her azz there?

      • Bread and Circuses says:

        I’ll bet s/he is “livid” because Mark Heller purposefully didn’t get a California lawyer on-board until the last moment so he could try to get a delay.

    • Dawning Red says:

      They also said the prosecutor looks livid and that Lindsay’s eyes are red. Hmm, any guesses what drugs she’s on?

      I hope Dina is in court and soused to the gills! That would be AWESOME!

  80. Melissa says:

    What’s taking SO LONG!?!?

  81. Poink517 says:

    This is ridiculous – is anything going to happen today?!

  82. chichai says:

    As I am doing my nails waiting for the trial to begin…I thought about how her older brother is probably ridiculed at his job because of his sister.

    Then I thought, “Has anyone seen Ali lately? Did Lindsay sell her to cover some last minute travel expense?”

  83. eileen says:

    LOL uh-yeah WTH was the California Court System thinking when they scheduled her court date the day after St Pattys???

  84. Shauna says:

    TMZ said five minutes ago that she had to use the restroom. She was escorted by five officers.

    Seriously, this whole thing ticks me off. What would happen if you or I were almost an hour late to a court hearing? The world wouldn’t stop and we certainly wouldn’t get a potty break. Infuriating.

  85. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Bored now…

  86. lucy2 says:

    Almost an hour late, wow. Feel like if that were you and me, we’d be putting on the orange jumpsuit right about now.
    What kind of moron flies across the country the morning of her trial? I hope the judge is pissed too.

    She probably thinks it’s cruel and unusual punishment that her trial was scheduled the day after St. Patrick’s day!

    • Bread and Circuses says:

      What kind of moron flies across the country the morning of her trial?

      The kind of moron who has done it twice in a row now.

  87. judyjudy says:

    I’m mad at myself for paying attention to this today. I know nothing will happen to her.

  88. Mich says:

    I’m sure Heller is having to explain why no co-counsel is present given what was said about his competence at the last get together.

  89. Rena says:

    Is Heller a member of the CA Bar and able to even represent her? LL is a total fool as she has one of the best attorneys who kept her out of jail and “fired” her though that attorney probably had it with LL and was happy to get out of this mess.

  90. AmyB says:

    When is she going to get what is most overdue to her……f%&king reality??? How is this girl still walking around? She is a walking time bomb and is going to kill some innocent person at some point. Let alone herself. I had an addiction once (anorexia) and my family was all about getting me help, therapy, rehab, etc. This is going to end tragically no doubt about it…..feel sorry for the innocent person she will undoubtedly hurt with her bullshit behavior.

  91. dorothy says:

    I wish they would scan courtroom to Lohan.

  92. Shelly says:

    “I’m BORED! I’M SO BORED!” (Yeah, Lindsay as La Liz, I feel your pain)

  93. Hollz says:

    Is the TMZ video still just showing the seal? Or is it mine not working?

  94. valleymiss says:

    I can’t get the TMZ video to work, and the Radar video shows a guy from the White House giving a press confeence. Lol Guess I’m not meant to see this video.

      • Tulip Garden says:

        thanks for this link. I couldn’t get the others to work.
        I have avoided the Lohan drama for a very long time. First time that I have found myself drawn in. Lohan would probably count me among her “fans”, her following, and, not, you know, just another person hoping for her sake, and the communitys’ and also, in the interest of justice that she gets the book thrown at her.

    • lady mary. says:

      i guess the judge didnt allow the cameras but allowed tmz journalist in ,so they can give a live report ,i guess no video then

  95. Skins says:

    Did you see the walk into the courtroom like she is some major movie star walking the red carpet? And the smirk? You know, I never wanted to see her go to jail, just cause I like to see what kind of lowlife stuff she is going to do next, but I think a year or so would be great right now. Why does the court system keep protecting her. I want to see her taken out in cuffs and see if she is still wearing her smirk.

    • Sarcasmo says:

      This is role she’s most famous for! 😉 She’s been to court more times than she’s been in movies.

    • AmyR says:

      If Norma Desmond were in Hollywood today (and, you know, a real person), this is how she would act. “The cameras are here for me! Because I’m a star!”

  96. Macey says:

    This is really getting on my nerves. I can only imagine how the prosecutors must feel.

    I keep flipping back n forth to that damn seal. Im sick of that seal ;/

  97. Shelly says:

    Omg, in the pics on X17, you can clearly see that she is wearing what looks to be a ROSARY (a diamond rosary no less). Dressed in white and wearing a rosary. She is so transparent.

  98. ***Diane*** says:

    Geeeeez, is she still in the bathroom?

  99. logan says:

    My husband just called me from work and said what are you doing on your day off? I felt like I got caught watching porn!!! Hurry up and get the praising over with, I got dinner to start.

    • cmc says:

      OMG please tell me you took the day off specifically for this! It will make my week <3

      • logan says:

        Oh no. I work in a restaurant and work most weekends. The gods were smiling on me today. Just hope all this wasted time pays off a little. At this point I would be satisfied if she got 3 hours of jail time, community service for 3 months (picking up trash along the highway please) attending AA for 6 months and a weekly pee test. Man should have studied law.

    • Poink517 says:

      Haha. I told my husband that I was watching this (he’s at work) and he texted me back ‘waste’. Thought he was talking about blohan but nope, in his next text he told me to go do something productive. Lol

  100. Mich says:

    We can at least talk about her outfit. Pics are on DM (and probably other sites).

    She looks like an innocent angel! Especially in the glitter pics!! 😉

    Her track record of no bra to court seems unblemished.

    • Shelly says:

      I don’t get her outfit. What is with the sheer pant thing-y underneath the skirt? I like the top portion of her outfit, but the bottom is a mess. The rosary is also a nice touch. 😉 Her hair still makes me angry, her lips are still full-on porn-styles, but her face seems less puffy. All in all, I guess she is breaking even – no better, no worse than usual.

  101. Belle Epoch says:

    “One final thing … Guess how much the private jet costs? $50,000. Lindsay didn’t pay — The generous folks at Mr. Pink energy drink covered the tab.”

    From TMZ

    • logan says:

      While we have the time, has anyone ever drank this Mr. Pinks energy drink? Any good? Don’t drink energy drinks-afraid my heart will explode, but not much else going on. Still looking at the seal.

    • dorothy says:

      Why on earth would anyone want her associated with their product? That is beyond me.

      • lucy2 says:

        If their market strategy is to tell cracked out lunatics that they can keep going no matter what, then she’s perfect. But for anything else, not so much.

  102. Stef says:

    Is this stupid thing EVER going to start?! I have to be at work at 4 I want to watch at least a little of it beforehand!!

  103. The Original Tiffany says:

    Still waiting for the case to get called per TMZ 5 minutes ago. My hopes are fading faster than the Cracken’s hair color.

    • Mich says:

      Keep the faith!

      I doubt Heller has magically become a legal genius in the space of two weeks!

    • The Original Tiffany says:

      BITCH STUCK A PLEA DEAL.

      I can’t believe it. Wait, yes I can.

      I need a cracktini. How does this happen???

  104. maxine says:

    This is a freakin’ awesome way to start the week! I’m sippin’ away on my Cracktini & I might need some of those Crackerjacks to go with it. Also, I’m slightly ashamed of myself for being so excited.

  105. Jayna says:

    She is always drama. She was supposed to come in Saturday. Anybody else would have come in early and met with their California attorney they don’t even know, if they even got her one, and who hires an idiot like her New York lawyer when she s in Californa? But, no, she has to eff up yet once again and arrive in chaos. There is really something wrong with her mentally, or she is just stupid is as stupid does.

  106. Sisi says:

    tmz update: “11:04 AM PT — It appears Lindsay has struck a plea deal with prosecutors, which is shocking because up until now … Lindsay has REFUSED to accept any punishment.

    Our clue … Mark Heller’s co-counsel just grabbed a plea deal form from a desk and took it into chambers with him.”

    • Poink517 says:

      OMG. She always gets away with everything!!! It has to be a light ‘punishment’ for her to agree to it.

    • Enid says:

      Radar says they are still trying to reach a deal.

      I hope this means that the prosecution is saying, “Aww, Hail No,” to any plea deal they offer.

    • karmasabiatch! says:

      WTH??

      Oh, NO, b*tch….just, NO. How can she be skating out of justice again???!!! More cracktinis, please. Unreal.

  107. dorothy says:

    TMZ just stated that it appears she struck a plea deal with prosecuters. I guess we’ll have to wait and see what that is. It never, never ends.

  108. bangarang says:

    That tail looking thing on her Lawyers breifcase looks like a tampon

  109. Shelly says:

    Seriously? A plea deal? It seems she may be rewarded yet again for behavior the rest of us would never get away with (like showing up to trial an hour late). At this point she should get no plea deal. She should get jail and/or a trial.

    • Jag says:

      Agreed! I said above that she probably was going to get a plea deal of house arrest without monitoring, as per usual. We’ll see her partying soon enough. This entire thing disgusts me.

  110. Dawning Red says:

    Right now I’m guessing that Shawn Holley is sipping a pina colada in Hawaii and laughing her head off!

  111. Sisi says:

    ooh I just saw a forehead -_-“

  112. maxine says:

    They’re gonna plea the Cracken out 🙁

    • Troubadour says:

      Yeah those California prosecutors are real pit bulls, huh? 😉

      And those Judges are complete hard-a****. Ha, ha, ha, ha!!!! What a joke.

      Seriously, this is becoming like a comedy routine. But is Lohan the straight man or the ham? It’s getting harder and harder to tell.

  113. Sisi says:

    question for the law experts here: is conduct behinds closed doors the same as in the courtroom? Like… would Lindsay shut up and the lawyers talk to the judge? or is there dialogue between Lilo and the judge. Is Lindsay even in the same room? My knowledge on US-law is severely lacking, I have no idea about practical ettiquette outside of the courtrooms.

  114. lucy2 says:

    If she ended up taking a plea, what a waste of everyone’s time and tax payer money, to have this circus of a “trial”.

  115. boo says:

    I am so sick of this hoe bag, according to DListed she didn’t fly out Saturday because she went to see a band and party that day, and then got on a commercial flight that she got off of because she smelled gasoline! Then she called all of her johns and someone was stupid enough to lend her a private jet. It must be nice to be a white girl with big tits in this world. If nothing comes of this I swear I give up on the Cali justice system, and I live here.

  116. Apsutter says:

    Plea deal, eh? So much for her so called “Linnocence”

  117. Enid says:

    Here we go!

  118. marjiscott says:

    A criminal attorney my husband spoke with about Lindsay says of Ca Judicial System says: “They are ALL on the take” I didn’t believe it before, but after today’s events , I wonder…

    • fabgrrl says:

      That wouldn’t surprise me. What does surprise me is that LL would have the resources to pay them! How could she possibly have that much money? Who would pay that much for her? Is her vadge lined with unicorn pelt?

    • Debbie says:

      They’re not all on the take … necessarily … but the penal system is well and truly owned by the unions, and new construction is limited by environmentalists and NIMBYs, which is why we can’t keep anyone — even seriously dangerous people, like way more shooty and stabby than Lohan people — in jail anymore. “No room.”

  119. littlestar says:

    90 days at a locked rehab facility! 30 days community labour! Psychotherapy! I don’t know if this is a good thing or not. Bitch still deserves jail time, IMO……………..

    Edit: Holy crap does she seem out of it, can barely keep her eyes open. And she looks awful – her extensions are greasy looking.

    • cmc says:

      18 months of psychotherapy. That’s pretty solid. Not a crazy punishment, but that could possibly really help her.

      • littlestar says:

        I’m with you, cmc. Hopefully psychotherapy really and truly helps her with her severe mental health issues…

      • Sisi says:

        idk…

        last time she only did therapy when every single session/hour was put on paper and in the agenda in full detaiil, with her sentence as a threat if she didn’t show up.

        18 months of therapy is very vague. I wonder how many hours she has attended already (they claim she has…) probably 1 session and a bunch of cancellations, just like last time

      • Erinn says:

        I was actually impressed with the judgement. I’d have preferred to hear a harsher punishment, but this wasn’t too shabby, considering I was expecting her to go punishment free.

      • cmc says:

        Ladies, as much as I agree that this waste of oxygen should have been 6 feet under by now, I’m pretty impressed by the plea. 90 days in rehab with NO day passes and the facility has to be approved by the prosecution, 18 months of therapy, 30 days of APPROVED community service, and a harsh enough probation that next time it’s straight to jail? On top of that, any cop at any time can search her and he doesn’t have to have a legal reason?

        I am allowing myself to hope, here. This could really help her get it together.

    • Troubadour says:

      @littlestar I think she’s already over the number of charges RDJ hit before they put him in jail.

      For everybody’s good, I definitely think jail is what she needs. She needs to wake the heck up and everybody on the roads in CA needs her off of them.

  120. margaret says:

    Sigh

  121. ***Diane*** says:

    She looks ready to puke.

  122. Sisi says:

    still don’t get why she gets rehab for lying tot the cops.

  123. Dawning Red says:

    The court should also schedule a month-long stay for Lindsay with Prostitutes Anonymous.

  124. Mich says:

    We get a new mug shot!! Yeah!

  125. dorothy says:

    Well, same time in 6 months? We know we’ll be back here doing the same thing.

    • Troubadour says:

      +1 I hope not but honestly…of course we will.

      She doesn’t want to change. At least I’ve seen no indication of it, quite the opposite in fact. No desire to change + rehab = waste of time.

  126. j.eyre says:

    *sigh*
    “Hey kids… sorry about the whiplash going over that last pothole. No, no, Mom will pony up for the 14,000th fundraiser of the year so you don’t lose your teacher mid-semester and have to combine into double classes. But you don’t have to wake up early on Saturday because they closed the food kitchen due to no food being available. That lady? I bet she likes to sleep on the street – it’s like camping.

    But the good news? We were able to give Michael Jackson a lovely send off and now Herbie has a driver again! No, we are just clinking glasses to toast; that water came from LAUSD which means there is lead in it. Cheers!”

    • Debbie says:

      “And … oh my God is that cookie from your teacher?! PUT THAT DOWN!”

      Like buttons. Need them. Would give you one.

  127. dorothy says:

    Already started psychiatric counseling? Where, at the bar?

    • Sisi says:

      her therapist has two jobs and he also works in boyband the wanted

    • Shelly says:

      Hey now! Some of the best therapists are bartenders! 😉

    • Jag says:

      She started seeing a therapist about two weeks ago maximum. Just in time for it to look good to the court. And of course they fell for it.

  128. Tess says:

    God damn she looks like hell. Strung out, greasy, hung over and her trout pout looks like a crack-tastrophy

  129. fabgrrl says:

    I don’t get it. Non-violent, first-time offenders go to jail for smoking a doobie quietly in the park. They don’t get rehab. This person is a violet and reckless, and has already failed to stop using drug and alcohol, yet SHE is the one who gets rehab and therapy?!?!

    • Nanz01 says:

      She’s a STAH! She’s white! Has boobs! Has a seemingly endless amount of wealthy enablers. And, she’s a STAH!

    • Debbie says:

      Not in CA do non-violent first-time offenders go to jail for smoking a joint in a park. As long as you’re not distributing, CA isn’t interested.

  130. Poink517 says:

    She’s not to use narcotics/drugs without a prescription….she’s to obey all laws and not drive with a measurable amount of alcohol in her system….seriously???!!! Isn’t this a given?! It’s called The Law!!!

    • Debbie says:

      Oh dear oh dear, wherever will Lindsay be able to get a prescription for whatever it is she takes?! Oh, that’s right, everywhere.

    • Bread and Circuses says:

      “Measurable” is lower than the legal limit. He’s basically saying don’t get behind the wheel of a car if she’s been drinking at all.

      And she apparently doesn’t spend much time sober anymore. It’s a very good thing she’s going to a lockdown rehab.

      I’m actually not disappointed in the plea deal; it might do some good whereas jail time would have turned into no jail time due to overcrowding.

  131. Sarcasmo says:

    Restitution to the truck driver; psychotherapy; 90-day residential facility (lock down!!!); SMPD within the next 7 days…

    HEE-HEE, this is gettin’ GOOD! 😀

  132. Sarcasmo says:

    Oh, to be one of the lice on her head so I could hear what she’s mumbling to her atty.

    “You must obey all laws” – who do they think they’re kidding here? She hasn’t done that in a decade!

  133. Shelly says:

    I don’t know why they keep giving her the SAME punishments. Because she never follows through with them and ends right back in court. CA is a joke. She’ll be back here again within 6 months.

  134. Dawning Red says:

    In defense of Lindsay Lohan, while her first chin looks terrible, the other four look okay.

  135. dorothy says:

    Another veiled threat by the judge not to come back? Really? Do you really think she believes that???

    • Shelly says:

      Exactly. The only positive I’ve got is that this actually seems to be her 9th life. Wonder if she actually sees that though.

  136. claire says:

    She really wants her lawyer to stop bringing stuff up. LOL.

  137. gloaming says:

    Ha! she’s telling her own lawyer to shaaddaap!

  138. cmc says:

    Search and seizure at ANY time for ANY reason without any reasonable doubt?! That’s INTENSE. Oh snap, this might actually *help* her stay clean.

    • Sarcasmo says:

      Please, oh please, OHPLEASE let this happen!!!! Repeatedly!

    • Jag says:

      She’s going to be in New York. No one really believes that the cops there are going to be stopping and searching her for any reason. No cop anywhere will being doing that because all it will be is more paperwork for them.

      • cmc says:

        I live in NYC…and am sortadating a cop…I’m totally telling him to keep an eye out for her 😉

        (Don’t worry, I’m totally kidding…we haven’t been dating long enough for me to admit I spent the day glued to TMZ)

  139. Debbie says:

    I would like to pray. Please, baby Jesus, please send her to jail long enough for her lips to deflate and her skin to clear. Getting clean is optional but preferred. Please please please I’ll be good. Amen.

  140. anne_000 says:

    Did Lindsay permanently lose her CA driver’s license? I hope so.

  141. Tulip Garden says:

    I have never watched the Lindsey Debacle before and…it’s fascinating. No wonder she and all her hangers-on think that they are “stars”. I can’t believe the media and internet coverage!

    Save me, save me, I truly only tried it once, I hope I’m not hooked:)

  142. brin says:

    Judge: “Don’t drive” Bwahahahahaha

  143. Shelly says:

    Can’t believe I wasted four hours of my life on this crap today. I need to go reevaluate my decisions and determine why I wasted half of a work-free day on this. I haven’t been this engaged in Celebitchy in quite some time. Peace out, folks! It’s been fun!

  144. Dawning Red says:

    Are they about to have a press conference with Heller? What are they doing on the TMZ live feed?

    • Sarcasmo says:

      Cousin Vinny is giving a press conference. Something about how he’s very confident that we won’t be seeing Ms. Linnocent in court any time soon.

      Delusion, it’s a powerful drug. And apparently, contagious.

      ETA: How is it that a 90-day lockdown rehab facility is a validation of her sobriety?

      And now MiLo is stepping in!

    • The Original Tiffany says:

      Michael Lohan was the best part of that whole press conference. This family never disappoints!

  145. HappyJoyJoy says:

    All this mess and all she keeps getting is “rehab” are the effin’ kiding me?!

  146. Dawning Red says:

    Oh dear. Michael Lohan is Witless for the Defense!

  147. cmc says:

    Oh my goodness. Michael Lohan. This is SO worth the wait today!

  148. Tulip Garden says:

    HOLY CRAP! never seen michael lohan in fine form either.
    Okay, you regulars, whadya make of the michael lohan stuff?

    • cmc says:

      That. Was. AWESOME.

      MLo vs. Heller is my new favorite catfight.

    • Sarcasmo says:

      MiLo is an angry, aggressive, abusive spaz, who is just as interested in using Linnocent to make money as everyone else.

      Have a cracktini and some CRACKerjacks, love, and welcome! 🙂 *scoots over on “shame couch”*

      Could she do her community service in Detroit instead? (No offense, detroitriotgirl!)

      And how is it these broke d!ckheads have drivers and Escalades?

      • Tulip Garden says:

        Thanks for the invite. The couch seems cozy and your friendly so it’s all good right? The Lohan Drama can’t be bad for me.
        …and, cracktini, never had one. okay, you know, this ONE time:)

      • Sarcasmo says:

        Yup, I’m totally harmless. And I’ve even rimmed the glasses with Sea Jasper, in honor of this special day!

      • Tulip Garden says:

        Hey, you, you my new best friend you! Great sea jasper. Another ’cause you know, wouldn’t wanta inshult my new best frien! 🙂

  149. PinkG says:

    She has to submit to drug testing. She’ll never make it.

  150. HoneyB says:

    Mr. Pinks Energy Drink says on their FB page;

    “sophisticated, health-conscious adults: Mr. Pink Ginseng Drink — the Ultimate Wellness Beverage!”

    If that is the face of sophisticated, healthy and well….I will NEVER touch that stuff. I wrote as much on their page.

  151. maxine says:

    I thought my head would explode while watching this Crackstravaganza bc I was waiting for Blohan to puke or pass out.

  152. Shelley says:

    What happened with Daddio please?

    • Sarcasmo says:

      MiLo had a verbal duel with Heller and told the media that Heller was guilty of witness tampering, was being investigated for such, and going to be disbarred. AGAIN.

      It was glorious.

  153. EscapedConvent says:

    …the hell happened? She must have practitioners of black magic working on her legal problems. She’s NOT going to jail?! The judge only “suggested” that she not drive?

    This is a parallel universe! No one else with her history would still have their license OR a car. Why doesn’t she lose her license?

    Can anyone `splain this, please?

  154. Kosmos says:

    She’s completely irresponsible, has been for a long, long time, and she doesn’t give a Cracken about other people at all, and would push them out of the way just to get what she wants. She needs to be put away for a long time so that she can rehabilitate and live her life like a mature human being. Is this possible? Probably not, she’s probably going to be a lifelong mess.

  155. ViloDeMenus says:

    She’d do time in a lock down facility, except NYC doesn’t have lockdown facilities. You can leave for hours a day. I have no idea why she didn’t go to jail, the entire 90 days would have been 7 at the most due to over crowding, and we all know she’s not going 90 days without drinking drugging or whoring. So what is the end game here? To be on probation until the day you die, because that’s where she’s heading.