SuperBowls just ain’t what they used to be … who watches the game or even remembers who plays … its all about what controversy will well up from the deeply shallow recesses of theAmerican zeitgeist. Television used to be the means to convey the spectacle – now it’s the spectacle itself. Paging Dr. McLuhan to the front desk.

Chesty exploitation (that’s gotta be a Drag Queen somewhere) went equal opportunity this year … when burly, hairy chested mechanics tried to snatch the controversy crown from out of the cleavage of the famous Jackson ‘wardrobe malfunction.’ Sounds very Tom of Finland … but was in fact very Snickers.

Challenging the May-December, Ebony and Ivory thrills of Ms. Jackson and J-Tim — these two fearless mechanics meet mid-kiss on the chocolate highway. Homo-possible panic ensues and they search desperately for a way to re-assert their manhood. The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation objected to just that search as E! Online reports:

“Mars needs to apologize for the deplorable actions of its Snickers brand,” [said] GLAAD president Neil Giuliano… Another GLAAD spokesperson said Tuesday that the commercial’s “kind of prejudice was inexcusable.”

It seems to me all those boys did was get shirtless and do a little impromptu chestwaxing … hit the gym and they are ready for a Circuit party come Summer. Is that Defamation … or the ultimate affirmation.

Mars/Snickers has bowed to the awesome pressure of the Velvet Glove annd pulled the ads from all circulation ever … except of course everywhere on line forever. Like here. HAAPY (but not GLAAD) Viewing.