Here are some photos from the E! Upfronts, which were surprisingly well-attended. The “Upfronts” are so that the stars of E! can meet with advertisers and media to promote their new seasons or upcoming shows. E!’s lineup involves a truck full of Kardashians, the Jonas boys, Ryan Lochte, Giuliana Rancic, Kelly Osbourne and Chelsea Handler. A who’s who of the C-list, basically. So let’s start with Kim Kardashian because, hand to God, she’s the most famous person in this group. I don’t understand why Kim insists on full skirts while pregnant. Even though she’s not carrying the same way as Duchess Kate, she should take one tip from Kate’s maternity style: a slimmer cut will make you look smaller. Kim shouldn’t use that advice to stuff herself into a dress that looks like sausage casing, but I would like to see her in a simple, clingy maxi dress.
Lucifer’s homegirl Kris Jenner in her daughter’s Valentino dress.
Chelsea Handler actually looks pretty good… for her. Haha, remember when she thought she was going to have some big acting career and that she was too good for E? I love it.
If Giuliana Rancic weighs more than 100 pounds, I will eat my hat.
Ryan Lochte is a puppy. A dumb puppy who licks himself and then wants to give you kisses. A puppy who barks at his own shadow. But he’s harmless.
Kevin Jonas and his wife are… awkward, right?
OMG Kelly Osbourne put the bronzer DOWN. Also, change your hairstyle. And your dress. And those shoes!!
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Poor orange Kelly.
+1
Rich orange Kelly.
Orange face, purple hair, funny shoes. Apparently, Kelly is now OB-sessed with Oompa Loompa styling.
The skin tone and hair may be Oompa-loompa but that dress? 100% Violet Beauregarde. Which is lame in and of itself because if you are going to style yourself as an old school Willy Wonka character, Veruca Salt is definitely the best way to go.
She looks exactly like someone living in the Capitol in the Hunger Games.
I think Kevin Jonas has a larger problem with the bronzer.
Oy! They are all orange except Handler and Rancic. Look at the Momager’s feet. Look at the entirety of KK. And Jonas’s hand compared to his face. And Lochte’s hairline. Yikes.
Honestly, how is she even associated with style in any shape or form??? She has no clue.
I agree with you 100%. Someone needs to dress this woman (KK) – she always looks ridiculous. She should take lessons from Princess Kate.
It looks like she has jaundice.
Orange Kelly sounds like a cocktail.
She looks like Austin powers and Sour grapes from strawberry shortcake had some sort of horrifying lab baby.
Best sentence I’ve read in a long time
Kelly is channeling Mrs. Slocombe.
Funny, because Kevin Jonas seems to be channelling Mr. Humphries. Look at his pose in that photo.
Kelly just looks bad the bronzer clashes with her lilac hair. Tired of seeing her in that colour she needs to change it up. Kim nearly always looks bad and she doesn’t seem to understand how to dress while pregnant. Which isn’t really a surprise her dress sense sucks when she isn’t pregnant.
kim looks like a fat chick in a nice dress. doesn’t she realize that when she wears regular clothes, she just looks like she’s fat, not pregnant? to me, it’s kinda creepy to see pregnant women in really sexy stuff when they’re hugely pregnant. to me, it’s almost like being sexy is such a part of their identity that they can’t handle being just normal and pregnant. they have to sex it up somehow. i know, it’s prob just me.
kelly looks scary, like an alien. why can’t she try and look normal for once?
One side note – she PERCEIVES herself to be, and have been, sexy. I’d argue that’s not actually the case, she’s just a mess with big boobs and ass.
Her. Boobs. Are. HUGE.
Yep, she looks like a plus size lady in a pretty dress, not a “size 4” woman who’s pregnant. However, I don’t think this is too much of a disaster for her, considering some of the other things she’s worn.
To me ,it is like Kim is in denial that she is pregnant and that is why she dresses as if she is not pregnant. Kim needs to do a segment of “”What Not to Wear” when you are pregnant. I love Ryan Lochte’s dumb tongue expression. I think Kevin Jonas’s wife is not comfortable with this whole reality, celeb thing.
And I got totally different vibe off those two. I thought she looked the most fame whorey of the two of them, not him.
Danielle suffers from anxiety, they talk about it on their show, she has a hard time dealing with “fame”…she’s admitted it quite often, but deals with it for the sake of her husband. She’s actually a very sweet girl.
Everhy single one looks horrible. Enough of E! they offer no entertainment whatsoever anymore. They need to dump the lot of these self-absorbed YUKS (except for Kelly who normally is cute, but not here) and start over.
Ha Ha! Ryan aside (yes he is a dumb dumb, but he has an actual talent) a bunch of E-Listers.
As a woman working on getting pregnant, viewing Kim’s daily fashion disasters has really helped me think about what I should/should not wear when I do get pregnant. I hadn’t given it much thought before.
Thanks Kimmy!
Kevin and his wife look as much in love as Prince Albert and his wife.
My gaydar pings off the CHART when I see and hear him.
me too!
They all look awful.
Ranci’s head looks like it is way too big for her body.
K. Osborne – dump the purple hair – you look like a clown.
WHY IS KIM’S SKIN NEON ORANGE??
Kelly’s outfit offended me the most. She has HUGE calves (which, nothing wrong with that, they look like strong runner legs) and the dress falls right where they begin and paired with the huge chunky white heels, makes her legs look stumpy and disproportional. And her make up kills me. I don’t mind How Kim looks overall, though the dress itself looks cheap. Ryan is so cute! Love that color suit!
why is kim insisting on creating an illusion of hourglass waistline while pregnant??! ridiculous…she just look fat..not pregnant, not hourglass-y…just plain stupid.
+1
And she almost always has sleeves that are too long—which is on the outfits that aren’t close-fitting sleeves, but the looser ones. It looks sloppy.
It has now become automatic for me to check out the sleeve length when I see pics of her. I just don’t understand spending a ridiculous amount of money for clothes and the sleeves are too long. It drives me crazy! (Mommy needs more coffee)
That fugly satin opera jacket must have been custom made for Kim Blotchyspraytan, and yet THE SLEEVES ARE STILL 3 INCHES TOO LONG as usual!
Funny how much the closures on the jacket are visibly pulling and straining. Thank goodness they held on tight; we’ve already seen more than enough of this sad sad clown.
Chelsea Handler may not dress stylishly — AT ALL, but she is all kinds of awesome. HER SHOW IS THE CHAT SHOW VERSION OF THIS BLOG, and she’s very generous though she doesn’t have to be. I respect her for her honesty. She walks the talk and doesn’t pretend to be someone she isn’t. The rest of these self-important carrotsticks are an embarrassment to humanity.
It isn’t an illusion. She still has one, it’s just bigger than it used to be. Her bones are shaped that way.
She obviously thinks she looks good because she keeps making the same mistakes when she dresses. Own your pregnancy Kim and dress to make it look good.
I can believe I am going to comment on Kim K but… she has always said she champions curvy women. But apparently that only means curvy meaning sexual-curvy. When curvy means pregnant/nurturing/life-giving she avoids embracing the curve of her pregnant belly like the plague. I mean, most playboy bunnies were able to embrace their growing waistline better than Kim.
This! well said…
She seems to be in serious bump denial. Has there been one picture of her where the bump isn’t squashed, draped, covered, smothered or spanx’d away?
I don’t know how she comfortably does the spanx thing. I HATED for my belly to be constricted in any way when I was pregnant.
It looks she put on a jacket and forgot pants.
Horrible look for her.
Lucifer’s homegirl…omg! I died laughing.
I know! Just about the funniest thing ever. *snorts coffee*
Hi, long time lurker, first time poster. I laughed my ass off with the “Lucifer’s homegirl” comment and literally spit water out of my mouth when I read it. It was too funny not to comment on it. Plus I wanted an excuse to say hello to everyone and introduce myself.
Hi Lore!
Hi Jaye 😊
Thank goodness Rancic cut her hair. I don’t understand the scraggly hair allure in Hollywood.Does anyone have a nice bob anymore.
KKard, as always black. As always awful. She could not identify style if it came up and slapped her in the face. And let’s face it, who doesn’t dream of that! I truly think she believes if she wears it, it;’s okay.
As for Kelly. She’s adorable and supposedly under contract to keep her hair lavender. Washes her out.
The older I get the less I have patience for celebs which totally does not explain why I am on celebitchy at 6:30 am.
+1000
With ya on the “Why am I here looking at these people who annoy me?” train, girl.
Ditto on the early morning looking at these zeroes thing.
*raises hand like Horshack* I volunteer to dress as “style” and slap the ever-loving bejeebers out of her!
May I?
this whole line up looks like one big ‘Trick-or-Treat’. 🙁
Lucifers homegirl hahaha thats a good one. I thought she was his mistress though.
All of them have the worst spray on tans in the universe. Like Snooki bad. Handler and Rancic are the only ones I don’t see any on, so yay them?
I think she looks cute and honestly, her makeup for the outfit was bang on. I am getting tired of seeing girls with dark hair in dark clothes with dark makeup. Its never a good look especially in front of the camera.
Oh lord, those men hitted the bronzer and foundation too hard, LOL.
I would put money on Kevin Jonas being gay…but NEVER coming out because of his family/career. That show is painful to watch – they have the most awkward relationship ever, and Kevin overcompensates by making lame jokes about how much sex they are both having all the time. It’s so awkward that it almost makes for good TV.
I believe it. Never seen the show before but it’s basically boy band canon at this point that at least one member is gay/bi/closeted.
“Lucifer’s homegirl” might be the funniest thing I’ve ever read on this blog.
Is there a line in the E! contracts that stipulates all their *ahem* “stars” be orange? Because holy wow, there’s a lot of spray tan/bronzer/Oompa Loompa goo up there.
If you have big boobs, taking style tips from Kate Middleton will just make you look massive. Kim would look so much bigger if she wore anything similar to what Kate’s wearing.
Right now Kim K’s boobs are significantly wider than her hips and belly, so she does need to balance that out. Obviously not with this particular dress/coat thing, but the general idea of it is right. A fitted up top/loose on the bottom maxi dress or a longer trench coat with a flare…
Good Lord, where to even start with this group???
I usually like Kelly Osbourne’s different looks. But this look is a miss. She looks like George Washington with that white collar and navy blue. Yuck.
Umm the one thing that stands out to me is Kims spread out legs…looks like she is about to drop that baby right there on the spot! Can she not close them?
Certainly that’s a rhetorical question! 🙂
I can’t believe I am going to say this but Kim looks the best out of everyone here.
J Rancic looks so much better with her shorter hair. But she is still the strangest looking woman to me. Like a bug or something
I actually recoiled when I saw her pic… She is terrifying.
Her pic looks fake. Like someone blew up a picture of her face (fathead style) and stuck it on a normal-sized body. It’s bizarre. I don’t understand how she thinks that she looks good that thin.
Kelly’s Fashion Police card is revoked. What a stupid-ass outfit and styling. She looks worse than Kim or Kris and that’s sayin’ something.
I’m NO fan of CHandeler, but I admit I softened toward her when she recently donated $25k to one of the struggling bombing victims who’s family had started a fundraiser for online.
Kim – Most pregnant women are proud & happy to show their bump. She is just determined to conceal it however possible. Doesn’t bode well for junior.
Satan’s Mistress – I hate myself for it, but her *face* looks really good here… *very* good.
Julianna R – Oh God, she looks like she’s on her death bed from anorexia. She needs help.
Its a nice outfit
I just read that Khloe was fired because she could barely read the teleprompter!!! Old news I know but I just love how none of these girls (except for the Kourt) place education high on their list. What is Kanye going to write about Kimbo…like, like, like like? How boring it must be to hang with stupid people day in and day out…like, like, like. Oh and don’t ya just love the old spread the legs to make them look smaller pose? Kimbo will have nothing when those man-made looks of hers begin to fade because she doesn’t have like a brain like. Yuk.
Scrolling down through the pics, my first thought was, one loser after the other (although I admit that I don’t know who the guy is). The rest all seem to be famous for all of the wrong reasons.
Why do they have extras at Upfronts? smh
I like Kevin Jonas and his wife Danielle…their show is great, and they seem real….not awkward at all.
All that money from those bloated salaries and they look hotter than the hottest mess.
All of them are ORANGE!!!
Kim goes on in wearing skirt like that because in her mind she’s carrying the pregnancy like Duchess Kate.
kelly looks like an oompa loompa. A spiky oompa loompa.
Kim looks ok.. I’ve seen her wear much worse. Her mother’s bleh. Rancic looks disgustingly thin, her head looks heavier than her body. I like the color of Ryans suit. I absolutely adore Kellys hair color but the tanner and outfit are clashing with it.
I actually think KK looks not too bad here, except for that basting she’s had. And that disfigured face. I don’t really care what people wear; good for them for having the confidence. It doesn’t matter to me what KK (or anyone else) wears, there’s no denying she just has a big arse. So do I. So what? Is that the worst thing a person can be? Overweight? Big-arsed? What she is, as a person, is quite different. I get that. I just detest all the fakery – boobs, tans, lips, arse implants (???!!!), fake hair…..
I really am totally convinced she has ass implants, & has for some time. The before & afters… The afters don’t even look natural. Disproportionate like a cartoon.
– http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DDD-KvC_reg/TuqPEqI5UKI/AAAAAAAAA3I/6TS8jdcDc8E/s1600/kim-kardashian-before-and-after-surgery-pictures.jpg
– http://alteredidentity.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/kim_kardashian4.jpg
I think thats why there are so many comments aimed at her breasts & butt. She’s gaining the pregnancy weight *on top* of the implants, which makes them look even more unnatural.
No, nothing at all wrong with a big curvy arse. I too am a ‘sister of the buns’. ^_~
Bless her little black heart… I think she trys? She looks pretty, sorta?
Wow, what a freak show..
Rancic’s head is huge compared to her body!