Yesterday we heard Melissa Etheridge massively shade Angelina Jolie’s choice to have a preventative double mastectomy. Etheridge is a breast cancer survivor, and she had some definite opinions about Angelina’s choice. She said, in part, “I wouldn’t call it the brave choice. I actually think it’s the most fearful choice you can make when confronting anything with cancer. My belief is that cancer comes from inside you and so much of it has to do with the environment of your body. It’s the stress that will turn that gene on or not.” It got worse from there, but I’ll spare you. Many people said she was blaming cancer victims for their disease, and that she was painting her own cancer struggle as somehow nobler than deciding to pre-empt cancer by making an informed decision to have a mastectomy. Others pointed out that that Melissa was bringing up an important point and that the issue needed more debate.
The thing is, in the original interview at the source, the journalist never mentioned the word “brave” or “choice” in his in-story quote. He simply asked “As a breast cancer survivor yourself, what did you think of Angelina Jolie’s announcement?” Melissa wasn’t asked if she considered it a “brave choice” so she was obviously thinking about it ahead of time. In fact it was Angelina’s partner, Brad Pitt, who called Angelina’s health decision brave, saying “I find Angie’s choice, as well as so many others like her, absolutely heroic.” So Melissa was kind of responding to Brad’s public comments, not to the question she was asked.
In the wake of all the backlash to Melissa’s comments about Angelina, she issued a follow-up statement to ET Online. Melissa didn’t sound diplomatic or thoughtful this time either, which is to be expected I guess. She sounded defensive and she kind of doubled-down. She said, “I don’t have any opinion of what she ‘should have’ done. All are free to choose. I only objected to the term ‘brave’ describing it.”
So in Melissa’s world, it’s only “brave” to fight cancer after you get it, like she did, it’s not “brave” to get your breasts removed to try and outsmart a disease that took your mother and aunt’s life. I’m sure cancer is hell, I’m just saying that there are lots of women whom I consider brave who made different choices than I have during life or death situations. There is no one kind of “brave” when it comes to cancer. F*ck cancer any way you can.
When informed of Melissa’s comments, Brad Pitt sounded surprised and said “Melissa’s an old friend of mine. I’m sure we’ll talk on the phone. I don’t know what it is.” Melissa and Brad go way back. She performed at his 2000 wedding to Jennifer Aniston. Maybe that has something to do with why Melissa doesn’t consider Angelina “brave”.
Melissa Etheridge is shown on 5-22-13 and 8-7-12. Angelina Jolie is shown on 6-5-13. Credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet
Eh, no one asked you lady!
Right?! So does this mean if Melissa gets breast cancer again she’s going to be “brave” and fight it. Put her family and her own body through all that stress and pain again? Just to keep her breast?!
Not a huge Angie fan I just can respect that fact that she didn’t want to put her family though what she went through with her own mother. She has young kids to live for and she sacrificed part of her body to ensure her future in their lives.
I know right?. Unfortunately many cancers can reoccur within 5 yrs of remission. So if it comes back Melissa, I’m sure we can put it down 2 ur negative, stressful, acidic lifestyle ( sarcasm)
Like VIP on CDAN said: we already have slut-shaming. We DO NOT need cancer-shaming!
I wouldn’t say the act of having the double mastectomy was necessarily brave (though it most certainly would have been to her family), but I would say that sharing with the world a most private, intimate detail about one’s health IS brave. I’d say when Melissa shared her story–that was brave. When Valerie Harper shared her story–that was brave. These choices–to go out on a limb and educate others about women’s health, women’s choices, and the consequences of those choices–that’s what I find brave. That Angelina did so in an op-ed that got a lot of information out there was impressive, in my opinion. And the fact that no one would have ever known about her choice, since she had succeeded in having the double mastectomy under the radar –NO MEDIA OUTLET KNEW ABOUT IT!!–is what I find truly impressive. She chose to share this information, not because someone was threatening to leak the story, but because she wanted to shed some light on women’s health, genes that almost uniformly predict a certain type of cancer, and the fact that more needed to happen so women could make their own choices about their health. And that those choices needed to be affordable. I thought her action was dignified, classy, and yes, brave. Opening oneself up to scrutiny like this about a personal choice is truly heroic. And I’d say the same thing to and about a rape victim, etc., who opens herself up to judgment when she chooses to share the private, intimate details about a scary/difficult/traumatic/private piece of her life.
I agree with Pinky. Getting the double mastectomy wasn’t “brave”, it was a calculated decision to minimize future risk; but bringing it out in the open the way she did (especially for an actress) is definitely in the brave category. My bet is that Jolie doesn’t feel brave about the surgical option she chose. Her husband is just trying to be supportive and his words come from that kind of a place, they don’t reflect how Angelina herself is feeling about it. She’s a practical person and makes practical decisions.
As a cancer survivor myself, I have to agree with what you posted. How to treat your cancer diagnosis is a personal decision, but informing the world of your choice and it’s outcome is an act of bravery. To this day most people whisper the cord Cancer out of fear of making a bad thing happen by discussing it. Bringing it to national attention helps in the battle to find a cure for everyone who has come to know this horrific disease on a personal level. Miss Jolie-Voight’s choice to do her very best to not ever hear the diagnosis “you have cancer”, was her personal choice, as it is to have her female reproductive organs also removed within two years. But is it an act of bravery? Depends on individual points of view in my opinion. God bless everyone who has had those horrible words, “You have cancer” spoken to them.
It’s a shame that regular nonwealthy people cannot afford to do preemptive surgery when they have the bad genes since insurance won’t pay for it.
Same about lap band surgery when it’s badly needed.
This Pinky! Well said.
@mkyarwood – “Eh, no one asked you lady!”
Well, technically someone did ask her xD But I know what you meant.
Good Gawd, woman, shut-up already. That hole of ignorance you’re digging is getting mighty deep.
Word. This woman has the integrity of a box of dildos sent to the wrong address. 😉 Sit the f-ck down already.
@mimifarrow – Now that would be an interesting surprise to find on your doorstep…
LMFAO!!!
LOL! Yesssss. Although, really ladies, if it’s a box of dildos, is EVER the wrong address? I’d sign for that package SO fast! Yes, mr. mailman sir, this IS mine mr. mailman sir, please get out now, I have to examine the contents of this box for…science reasons.
Lol ladies, but that’s how her ex found out she was messing around with their friend; Melissa ordered some dildos for her new lover and accidentally sent them to her ex. Maybe this is why she was feeling so “acidic” and “stressed out”. Haha.
http://www.celebitchy.com/136332/tammy_lynn_michaels_blogs_that_ex_melissa_etheridge_cheated_had_delivered_to_her_house/
Obviously, I never heard about this. This story was posted before I became a regular reader/poster on CB. But that’s one hell of an OOPS on Melissa’s part.
I just thought you had way with turning a phrase/drawing a word picture.
Omg aaaahhahaha, A+ on this comment!
Thank you Sullivan.. Shut the f**k up already Melissa.. We get it, you sound like a dumb A**. Especially when there’re children that have cancer. It’s Angie’s choice. Again, another artist that’s using the JP’s to get press for their otherwise underwhelming career.
So is it official that Melissa now sucks. Screw you and what is considered brave. Ugh.
My mother passed away 10 years ago (anniversary was three days ago) from breast cancer so I definitely respect the fact that M.E. has gone through an ordeal.
What I do dislike is that you often get some breast cancer survivors who think that there way is the best way and have the nerve to tell other women that they should do X, Y, Z. You don’t know what factors or other things are at play for certain women’s treatment. Therefore you should get your mouth closed and not say things like stress causes cancer. Ugh. I loathe her now.
Angelina Jolie didn’t do that and yep I do think she is BRAVE for going ahead and having a double mastectomy. Many women see our breasts as a sign of our femininity and it would be hard to lose something that we equate with being a female.
I agree with you Starrywonder (so sorry to hear about your Mom btw. Mine (a nonsmoker) died from lung cancer last year…cancer is such a horrible thing!)
I agree that having your breasts removed is something that would be extremely difficult for most women because they are seen as such a huge part of how people see a woman – her femininity, sexual appeal, etc. For someone like AJ, whose image is so much that of a sex symbol, it’s very brave imo. There’s a lot of actresses who would be worried it would make them be seen as less sexy and how it would impact their career. Clearly AJ was more interested in her family and wanting to stay healthy to be around as long as possible and I’m impressed that she made that choice in a world that is so obsessed with surface image that many women put themselves at risk and do so many unhealthy things to maintain it.
I think Melissa needs to sit down and be quiet. I’m happy for her that she was able to beat her cancer her way, but not all women are so lucky and if she does have that the gene then she is still very high risk for another battle in her future.
I agree. When my friend had breast cancer, she was inundated with fellow patients or survivors telling her to do X, Y, and Z. What I found horrifying was how many people got on her when she said she didn’t want anyone calling her a warrior and she hated pink and wasn’t going to roll around with a pink shirt/headband all the time because she was more concerned about living that being a message while undergoing treatment. The sheer number of people who gave her grief for not doing the whole pink thing. Honestly.
Thanks both of you 🙂
Yeah I don’t understand how some people’s decision to treat their disease is anyone’s business besides the person who is sick, their family, and doctors’.
Seriously! Until any of YOU have walked in her shoes, STHU!!!
–
She is a cancer survivor, and she has every right to give her damn opinion!
Being a cancer survivor doesnt make it correct when she says that stress and acidity cause cancer.
Cancer comes from inside you and is triggered by stress and acidity? What about all the beautiful children and babies who are born with cancer, fight it everyday of their lives, finding time to play and smile between the pain of treatments and operations. What a dopey thing to say. Good for Melissa for surviving, but her treatment is her choice, why on earth would you throw shade on someone else’s choice. Angelina’s article was called My Medical Choice. Angie raised a lot of awareness and talk about breast cancer. How is that a bad thing? Anyone who faces cancer is brave regardless of how they chose to deal with the cancer. People called Angie brave because she shared something so personal in such an open an honest way.
This just makes me so very, very angry. My beautiful daughter whom is 4 years old is fighting Leukemia. So this woman can just stuff it. She makes me ill. All the suffering my child goes through and this is her remark about cancer and what Angie did. I also lost my mother and father to it. I think this woman should just keep her mouth shut.
Sending you and your family hugs and love and prayers and healing thoughts.
Thank you so very much justaposter, that truly means a lot to all of us. xo
My brother was born with Cystic Fibrosis (he has been so lucky, doing so well & able to live a normal life), & during the many times we’ve been to the hospital for various complications, we would see all the children fighting diseases like your daughter.
A child that young fighting such an incredible obstacle… She is most certainly brave.
May your little girl be blessed with healing and wonderful life. Miracles happen all the time.. You’re not praying alone:)
*hugs*
Oh love, I’m so sorry. Add me to those praying for you and her, and both of you are most certainly brave! *hugs*
This is the problem right here. Etheridge went way beyond objecting to the phrase “brave.” She implied that cancer could be prevented if you just did the right things which may be true, BUT, if we knew what those right things were, people wouldn’t be getting cancer anymore.
I do think it is important to discuss all the choices. I think a preventative mastectomy is a radical choice and not necessarily the best choice. However, I am not going to fault anyone who makes that choice. Both women were brave. Both women made difficult choices. The need to go so far beyond saying “it seemed to be more of fear than bravery” says so much more about Etheridge than Jolie.
Lucinda
Well Said!
She’s taken it too far beyond healthy lifestyle.. What she preaches is good, but certainly not going to prevent cancer. Please tell me there’s an Oncologist Celebitch here!
And I agree that AJ’s choice was radical, but she didn’t want to fight it down the road or give it the chance to spread. Medical decisions are relative to the person. Everyone facing a cancer with a low survival rate is brave because no matter how you fight it you’re fighting it. I applaud those people.
“The need to go so far beyond saying “it seemed to be more of fear than bravery” says so much more about Etheridge than Jolie.”
Exactly!
Be happy with your own decision and that it worked for you! Why throw shade at someone who makes a different choice for themselves? Comes off as defensive to me, like she didn’t want to lose her breasts for various personal reasons of her own and is trying to justify that by spouting all this stuff about Angelina Jolie and stress, body environment, etc. Yeah, it’s true…stress and poor diet, etc. are not good for your health and can invite disease to flourish but she is simplifying something that is much more complicated imo.
@Lucinda Cannot believe that she actually said this, I know a handful of relatives/family friends who’ve survived cancer and and a few who died, implying that it could have been prevented is the most hurtful thing she could possibly have said. It’s even more offensive that she doesn’t seem to see anything wrong with what she said.
This is what I find offensive. Tomorrow I’m going to the funeral of my friend’s 7 year old son, who battle bone cancer for 2 years, and couldn’t have been more positive and sunny throughout the whole horrendous ordeal. This woman needs to STFU, right now.
I’m so very, very sorry Poppy. I know how awful this is and words just do not help. Strength to you and most of all to your friend and her family. xo
This is so awful and I send condolences to your friend.
And Catherine Anne, if I have anything to do with it (I hear my vibes are pretty good), your daughter will have a long and happy life.
Thank you so much bluhare…I believe in ‘vibes’ very much and appreciate your kindess. xo
+10000
Very well said!
You are sooo right!
This biotch is just trying to get some press off Angelina’s coattails and I seriously despise her now.
She’s just a mean spirited person deep down. Look at how her divorce went.
She’s probably just pissed that Angelina is the ONLY girlfriend of Brad’s who hasn’t been in one of Melissa’s music videos.
Really? I cant see Robin Givens in a Melissa Etheridge video somehow. Full disclosure: I have never seen a Melissa Etheridge video. No shade. I’m just an RnB, Soul kinda girl.
Honestly, I get what Melissa is saying even though she isnt saying it very well. I heard it expressed quite abit at a girls only dinner I attended. Its not PC but then its also only an opinion. Same goes for statements calling preemptive surgeries brave.
I just have one question. Is it possible to question Angies choice without being automatically linked to Jen?
I’m not trying to say either way (as I’ve actively tried not to seem that I’m jumping down someone’s throat on AJ or JA posts), but Jennifer’s friends have a history of going to bat for her and saying negative things about (mainly) Angelina, sometimes Brad.
I know Kristin Hahn, her producer, contributed to the Vanity Fair and Vogue-talking about Angelina. Jason Bateman-Howard Stern, Cheryl Crow-something about Jennifer dumping/kicking Brad out. And there’s of course Chelsea Handler.
So in this case it could be that Melissa is “Team Aniston” and just hates Angelina in principle, or she’s just an a-hole who’s mad that she didn’t get as much interest/attention during her diagnosis/treatment, as Angelina is for just getting a mastectomy.
Btw, I used to think that the whole “Jennifer hates Angelina….” theory was complete BS until Chelsea Handler hit the scene. Any woman, especially one in a public life/job who befriends someone who goes and bases her “jokes” on their ex’s partner, without knowing them, and makes racist and homophobic slurs against said ex’s children with the partner-and doesn’t drop them-well that’s my definition of not moving on…can you imagine what would’ve happened if Jennifer was a politician or head of a business? We’d tear her apart.
Well Melissa pretty much said she hasn’t been in contact with Brad since he got with Jolie .She even jokingly asked him to call her in an interview. A doctor on Today show had an interesting take on this.Is a woman who has an epidural any less of a mother than a woman who doesn’t have an epidural?
the thing is, she doesnt have to think AJ is brave, i dont care. but to me she is saying no one should. so is this deadbeat mom telling me what to think? then she can STFU. i can decide what i think it brave or not brave.
imo getting a checkup every three months is a more fearful way of living but i wouldnt tell anyone they couldnt or shouldnt.
Okay, I was exaggerating — maybe not EVERY one of his girlfriends. But Juliet Lewis, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Jennifer Aniston all appeared in Melissa Etheridge videos back in their respective days.
I always thought Melissa was Brad’s friend, not Jennifer’s? Friends drift apart.. I don’t think it had anything to do with Angelina coming on the scene.
Plus, if I was a friend of Melissa Etheridge I would be pretty horrified at the rate at which she starts families and then abandons them. I don’t particularly like Brad Pitt, but I wouldn’t blame him for putting some distance between them given what a douchebag she has turned out to be.
Her comments irritate me beyond belief. Firstly that she sees herself as a ‘survivor’ but denigrates other people’s medical decisions. Then there’s the whole ‘stress and acidity’ bollocks.
Some people might find this offensive but I find very few cancer survivors “brave”…..once you actually have cancer whether you choose to fight it or not is a matter of life and death….they are fighters for choosing to undergo painful treatment but they are not brave in my book.
Also I find it disgusting how a few cancer survivors think because they had cancer they have the right to slam praise on a woman for preventive surgery. There was a nasty article by some woman on USA today and also another one on the Boston globe about Jolie’s choice and how they were the actual people who had cancer and they were never given praise.
I always thought people were praising Jolie for bringing spotlight on breast cancer and gene testing and not simply because she had a mastectomy.
“Brave” isn’t the word I’d use either. She made a practical and sensible choice, but I don’t think she’s any more or less brave than the women who choose to roll the dice and keep their breasts, or who can’t afford preventive surgery.
But kudos to her for bringing attention to a women’s health issue.
I do attribute Bravery to Angelina Jolie. How many would choose to cut off their breasts to prevent cancer? Even Lainey, who I detest had an article by a friend who didn’t want to face the fact she had the gene and lost family members to cancer. Was scared shitless to even take this test.
Angelina is most known for her sexuality.. Big Breasts, lips , skinny girl.. So I do find it brave.. I certainly would find it hard to lose that part of my womanhood. I know when a Male dr. suggested that I have Hysterectomy although I knew I wasn’t planning any more kids, it certainly weighed on my mind for a long time until I got a second opinion from a female dr. who recommended a Myomectomy. All I thought about was my womanhood.
I say this as my 11 year daughter keeps bugging me about buying a training bra. Looks in the mirror everyday to see if she’s growing breasts.
I’m with you, cs, especially since people are deliberately living under the delusion that the Lara Croft curves were her actual curves. Time and time again, before, during and after the filming of both movies, Jolie talked about the dieting, training and padding she had to employ in order to fulfill the expectations of fanboys and the studio. And sadly, many women picked up the mantle and rode it, hard, whenever her weight fluctuated during her relationship with Pitt.
In the weeks before Jolie disclosed her mastectomies, there was that stupid Seth Macfarlane number at the Oscars, movie articles about breasts that shook the world, with Jolie’s turn in Original Sin topping the list, the much lamented pic of a so-called dignitary ‘checking out’ Angelina when she made that speech about warzone rape, and likely, countless other articles/observations leading squarely back to how Jolie looked, nevermind the countless breast watch, which usually leads to baby bump watch talk. You damn right that Jolie’s decision and subsequent operations were brave and heroic, not only because it gave women another much needed opportunity to pause and seriously think about their health (which, BTW, wasn’t limited to breast cancer/BRCA 1 or 2 mutations), but it may have resulted in some women making strong declarations about how important their lives are to themselves.
Lately, it seems that HW women/actresses are overly apologetic about the fact that they are female and strong, therefore they over-correct themselves, talking about dining rooms, their hair, being a girl’s girl, and other prattle designed to make them seem less threatening. Jolie was already intimidating – her looks, her sexuality, her frankness about her low times, her tendency to take risks. She took her health and her future into her hands… that’s brave, especially when there’s all kinds of propaganda out there guilt-tripping women into thinking that a woman is only as good as the number of sacrifices she makes for others.
It’s amazing how many pejoratives are associated with women who take charge of various aspects of their lives. And here’s Melissa Etheridge, curmudgeoning a positive word/concept attributed to an action designed to prolong life and avoid emotional trauma to a partner and to their children.
I think bravery is more about the attitude they take when going through treatment. Anyone who fights a disease that may very well kill them and doesn’t completely lose their mind facing life or death daily is brave in my book. Bravery is simply doing what needs to be done in the face of scary circumstances. I understand your point though.
I agree with Lucinda. I had breast cancer this winter, and I don’t buy into all that “I’m a warrior, I’m a hero” stuff, but I definitely had to reach inside for courage many times. Which was hard, because I’m basically a wimp with issues regarding the unknown. At times I was brave, I think. And I’m not an AJ worshipper, but I think it was brave to not only make her own informed decision about this so her husband and children wouldn’t have to see her suffer and possibly die, but to make it public when she lives in a world in which a woman’s value depends greatly on her looks and sex appeal.
Well put. I’ve been through breast cancer treatment (surgery, chemo, radiation etc), and I’m uneasy with the whole “brave” tag. Because if I’d had any choice in the matter, I would have been running in the opposite direction of what I had to go through.
@orion
but that is the point; you did have a choice.
Bravery to me is staying to fight or confront when everything inside you screams for you to run in the opposite direction. You didn’t run.
I find that Brave in a way. To not run
The way I look at it is we all find out what we’re made of when we are faced with a terrible problem. As a culture we place more value on “bravery” and all that than emotional responses; hence all that kind of talk. Angelina may be been “brave” publicly but I bet she cried her eyes out when no one was looking. And that in no way diminishes her and what she did. Putting it out there for other people was a good thing, in my mind.
It takes courage to go through with the testing. It takes strength to deal with the treatments. If someone with cancer or who has had it tells me they don’t want to be called brave, I won’t call them brave. But generally speaking, I will always consider anyone facing this battle as brave and hope I have the same courage.
I agree that it doesn’t give anyone the right to slam someone for going through preventative measures, and it’s kind of cancer-jacking to bring do so, but I admit its hard not to get a little twitchy with all the “OMG I’m SOOOOO crying right now” stuff that went on, from some people who otherwise wouldn’t give a toss for anyone they might know IRL going through the same thing.
“F*ck cancer any way you can.” Agree. One thing I’ve been wondering about, though, regarding the preventative mastectomies is…if you’re predisposed to the disease, won’t it find somewhere else to go?
As for Melissa (and other survivors, for that matter), I wonder if there’s resentment at anyone, not just AJ, who has the opportunity to head off a disease they’ve battled and still may face. Wishing they’d had the same kind of control.
No, the particular kinds of cancer caused by this gene mutation target specific cells (breast and ovarian). If you get rid of those tissues, that cancer won’t happen. Of course you can get different cancers for other reasons, but you don’t have to worry about the BRCA cancers in your life.
This is one reason why we can’t just “defeat cancer.” There are so many cell-specific kinds. And there are a even a lot of different kinds of breast cancer, so what gets rid of one kind has minimal effects on another.
Thanks for the info. This wasn’t explained in the many articles I’ve read. Amazing that the disease can be to precisely targeted…but also amazing that brilliant humans continue to find ways to combat it.
I will add to this, however, that women who have had mastectomies as a result of cancer treatment, can still have a recurrence in the chest wall.
Not sure if this is possible with a preventive mastectomy/BRCA situation.
Yeah shut up.
Well, Melissa,I object to you dismissing the women who have made that painful and BRAVE decision.
Are we seriously trying to bring a tabloid triangle into this serious discussion? I think Melissa is behaving like this because she’s a crappy, inconsiderate person, not because Angelina’s partner, her old friend, was once married to someone else she was also friendly with.
I think it’s a serious case of sour grapes.
Angelina wanted to raise awareness IMO. Give gourage to others who are up in arms with their own cancer battle.
She did beat the drum like noone else and it’s just sad that people still stumble over semantics like “brave” instead of
1.follow the examhple
2.keep quiet like they did before.
3.take a new hobby
+1 I kind of can’t believe we’re debating this.
Chelsea Handler #2?
She sounds bitter. Just because she chose that route doesn’t mean it’s better or worse, it’s all about what’s best for that person. Melissa, get off your high horse.
Nothing worse than putting down a victim when you were a victim of the same illness. Classy
I don’t get why she is offended by the adjective someone else picks to describe someone else. She obviously was thinking about this and probably has been talking about it to whomever. She didn’t just snark on Angelina but every other woman that made that personal choice. I don’t get why women are mad about a personal choice that another woman makes. Was Angie afraid.. probably. Afraid of what she has seen happen to pretty much her Mother’s side of the family; afraid of leaving her children without a mother and her partner. Afraid of not seeing them grow up or see them watch her die as she saw her mother.
Yeah fear is a powerful thing. It makes people make BRAVE choices. Melissa just sounded so arrogant. She acts as if Angelina woke up one morning and said I’m going to have this surgery. Melissa nor anyone knows what other measure Angie has taken through the years before reaching this decision. Brad said they have been going through this for a while. that they knew this was coming. Which leads me to think that this is something that they have struggled with. Melissa should have STFU and got her fact before she slammed someone
You don’t have to agree with what Angelina did. but then it was not your body or your choice. If you are faced with cancer make your decision. Then see how you feel when total strangers tell you that you were wrong and should have done what they would do… yeah I see that getting messy.
+1000 and very well said!
By the way I’d like to mention that most people don’t know that Jolie’s maternal grandmother Lois Bertrand died of unspecified cancer at age 45, and Jolie’s great grandmother Virginia Gouwens died at age 53 of ovarian cancer. Also Angelina’s maternal uncle Raleigh, who is Marcia and Debbie’s brother, died of cancer in his 40’s.
Jolie really has no living direct bloodline relatives on her mother’s side….
Do you know the family? I’ve only heard Marcia’s family call her Marcia rather than the media preferred Marcheline. (She has a cousin who lives in my town)
the one about her grandma was mentioned in the syrupy Esquire article written around the time of her A Mighty Heart movie. in the article she mentioned something about there being no longetivity on her mother’s side, that besides her mother, her grandmother too died young of cancer (which was always a cause of worry for AJ’s mother).
i’ll try to find the Esquire article again. it was mentioned a few posts back here at CB (i think in the comment section? can’t remember) when Brad’s Esquire article came out (it was mentioned because the writer was the same writer).
not sure about the mention of the Uncle.
I don’t think she’s ever called herself ‘brave’, so the issue is really how Brad Pitt, the Media, and her fans acted like she actually had cancer that I think might rub a real cancer survivor the wrong way.
I don’t really consider her decision ‘brave’ either. It’s was a good choice for her apparently, but it’s more pragmatic, with those odds and with 6 kids, than it is heroic.
I just wrote basically the same, before reading your post.
Sometimes making the pragmatic choice requires bravery.
Sorry but real cancer survivors are not more important or special than a 90 year old who lived a perfectly healthy life with 0 health problems.
Some criminals get cancer and die in prison. I guess that makes them “special” in a way?
I admire cancer survivors who talk about their experiences and try to give perspective to people suffering through it.
Just because you had cancer doesn’t automatically make you more admirable than someone who “only had preventive action”.
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head, here. And I agree with you. I know it’s not a popular opinion, but it’s still an opinion that many of us have.
It’s wonderful to have the wealth to have that kind of genetic testing and to be able to take preventative medical procedure measures to head off a disaster. It’s braver to not have those options and to have to suffer the actual disease, possibly going into debt to do so.
I thank Angela for bringing breast cancer awareness to the forefront again when one too many sources are vying to cut out annual mammograms as diagnostic options. But the sad fact is that most women do not have the same options that Jolie had available to them.
Just to clarify, to me bravery is taking a personal risk for a selfless reason. It’s a person running into a burning building to save a stranger, it’s heroic when someone swims out to sea to save a drowning child. I think other people definitions may be different, and that’s fine, but for me the word is used too loosely.
I don’t think removing a body part that is defective is in itself brave. If you don’t want to die, then there really is very little choice.
Ditto!!
But I do think it’s brave to expose what could be a private medical procedure that Jolie could have kept to herself, and talk about it publicly (and therefore invite a lot of ignorant, stupid comments) in order to help other women gain knowledge about a disease that hurts so many people. And, frankly, I think Joile cares more about what Brad Pitt thinks than Melissa Ethridge.
I think it’s pretty darn brave to make the choice that Angelina did, to undergo severe physical pain and bodily change in the hope that she could escape her mother’s early death. I don’t know if I would do that. It’s a tough choice.
And I don’t know why we’re trying to limit the use of the word “brave”. Like do we need to be gatekeepers of the term, lest it be used too loosely? LOL. There are many kinds of brave, imo. To say that only running into a burning building to save someone is brave is denigrating to all kinds of courage, from the big to the small, that people show every day.
“And I don’t know why we’re trying to limit the use of the word “brave””
Yeah…this.
I do agree with a lot of the sentiments expressed here but the argument is devolving into a semantic-based one.
I don’t have a problem with the word “brave” being used, but I agree that there is a distinction, however small, between someone who takes preventative measures and someone who actually suffers through cancer treatment.
This is indeed turning into a battle of semantics, but I’m not some self-appointed ‘word nazi’ just because I object to what I think is its misuse.
For you there are many shades of bravery. Fine. So my sister was heroic when she had a c-section. My dad was brave when he had his appendix out. Was I a heroine when I had my wisdom teeth removed too?
It just dilutes the words until their meaning is lost completely. But to each their own.
The bravery is in the attitude. Let’s say you know two women who lost their partners. One breaks down with pain into depression and wallows in it, and the other one faces her pain and makes it right for her family and for her own good.
Who is braver? I’ say the second, who was more proactive. The first one is facing the same circumstances, but she probaly needs help and convincing to overcome her situation. Bravery will come later for her.
When I lost my father I tried to be brave because my mom broke down. Sorry to say, I was not as brave as I could have. We always can do more.Now I know it.
Angelina and ME were brave in their own situation
Now, Melissa is a famewhore ass, but that is another story.
I agree and disagree. Yes, she did not call herself brave, and she discloded this info in pro of more affordable tests to be available for women.
On the other hand, the media is going to explote anything. Whatever, the discussion was brought to the table and is being talked about in the high circles, and in the families like the option that it is.
I would not dare say who is brave and who is not.
All of them are, the ones taking preventative action, and the ones facing it.
What I find disheartening is that people are saying… But she did not even have cancer. Well, blame the media. The fans will comment it in their forums, but the articles and covers belong to the media.
IMO, some people are bitter because they did not gte that much attention during their own fights. Melissa or even some anonymous people here were calling that. The complains are useless, they are not as famous, it is obvious. The media wants to sell. It is not the same that baby Kardashian was born, than baby Perez or Smith.
Good that Melissa is cancerfree, but she should STFU, and letothers live and fight their own fights.
I didn’t read the entire article, but it doesn’t sound as though she called her choice in dealing with cancer “brave” either. And who knows whether Etheridge had the same genetic predisposition as Jolie, which is rare?
The words “brave”, “heroic” and “hero” seem to be tossed out too easily in this society, where the definitions have been diluted.
Maybe all choices in regard to cancer are brave, because people have to decide on an option with inherent fear, but carry on, and make a decision anyway. Maybe that was her point. It seems silly to make a pissing match out of something like this.
Melissa is lying and “fake clarifying” her comments because they met with backlash on news sites like CNN, Yahoo, USA Today, etc.
She insinuated Jolie made the wrong choice and that people who get cancer deserve it for living toxic filled lives. She was also spreading a lot of pseudo science crap while saying she’s done her research.
She needs to subscribe to Science and Nature and then go on Pubmed a lot before speaking and then trying to pretend she only had a problem with the word “brave”.
“I’m not saying acidic people deserve cancer but acidic people totally derserve cancer.” –M. Etheridge
“I’m not saying Melissa is right but slutty, non-virgin girls totally deserve cancer.” –S. Williams
Ugh. So much stupid this week.
Everyone has a different opinion. I don’t think brave comes in to it. If you have cancer or think you might get it, you make a decision to deal with it and do what you can. It doesn’t matter whether you describe it as brave, honorable, noble, cowardly, whatever. None of that comes into it. Some people would opt for what Angelina did, others not, even if they knew they had the cancer gene.
I have heard that there are triggers that can cause a cancer gene to be turned on. I think that is what Melissa means by the environment leading to cancer.
A lot of the media were calling Angelina’s decision brave, not just Brad.
Melissa described Angie’s choice as the fearful one, and objected the term “brave”. Fearful means frightening or dreadful – and I am sure that is a scary choice to make. i don’t see that she demeaned or devalued Angelina’s decision.
Etheridge is entitled to her opinion and an experienced opinion in fact.
Etheridge’s then-partner, Tammy Lynn Michaels, was at her side throughout her fight with cancer and was repeatedly praised by Etheridge at the time for being the main reason she did survive. The context of those remarks was the strong love and emotional support Michaels gave her during every moment of a very difficult and slow treatment regime. How beyond slimy, as well as wholly idiotic, of Etheridge to now imply that those years with Michaels were, at least in part, the very reason she ‘got’ cancer to begin with.
Each & every person has the right to make whatever decisions they feel are best in regards to their own health care & no one has the right to judge them on those choices. Your body, your choice, it’s as plain & simple as that.
she and pitt go back before manniston. goop was in one of her videos when they were together?
does anyone even care what ME has to say?
Disease and illness and the experiences are unique to the individual. I have a masters in public health, it may very well be that stress may trigger disease in some. We each live in different environments, deal with stress differently, and have different genes, even different diets. The causes of disease may be multi-factorial. Ethridge covers one of those. Angelina Jolie call it brave and also acknowledge due to her wealth and access to best care, best plastic surgery it is a bit different than the poor women in the Midwest who needs to make that decision or does not have access to such gene testing. Ethridge, Brad, we all have some points and see a side of things. We each should be able to express the opinion even if we do not each agree 100%.
Well-stated. I take issue with Melissa being judgmental of Jolie, particularly regarding something so personal, but I can’t get behind all the mean-spirited name-calling being directed towards Ethridge. It just strikes me as WAY over-the-top.
BOTH women dealt with traumatic and frightening life decisions and experiences, related to a vicious disease. I guess I stand alone here in commending BOTH of them for handling it how they see fit. I just don’t see the point in vilifying either woman-they both strike me as courageous.
*shrugs*
Dear Melissa, brave is not walking out on your family when you find a new “love”. So until you fully understand the word STFU.
Yeah, Melissa seems like a real a-hole in her personal life. Does she still have a relationship with the children she had with Julie Cypher? I think Tammy Lynn Michaels has said in so few words that Melissa is a dead beat mom.
Best response I’ve read.
EXACTLY. Can’t stand ME. She’s two faced.
I was thinking about that. Jolie had the procedure because she wants to live a long life to be with her children. Etheridge has walked out on two sets of twins. If abandoning one’s children is “brave,” that would make Jolie’s choice the opposite of “brave.” So Etheridge’s comments make sense in that regard.
She should have just said “what Angelina did was uncool.”
The definition of brave is this: Ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage.
IDGAF what choices people make about their own health, but having a part of ones body cut out is pretty damn brave, if you ask me.
The real issue I have with Melissa is that she feels the need throw shade on someone else’s path – pretty uncool.
Thank you , best post
Short and sweet.. People here are confusing bravery with heroic .. Angelina is brave but not might be heroic in others eyes but definitely she is brave and heroic in her family eyes.
Melissa could have argued with heroic not bravery and many people would have agreed with her from their standing point as she did nothing heroic for others.
All moms are brave and heroic in my eyes
and Angelina is just like other moms
salut to all mothers wish you all health and good life. You truely the Brave and heroic creatures.
What a mean-spirited person ME is. She treated her ex horribly and selfishly during their break-up, even though her love was integral to ME’s successful fight with cancer. So that gives her the right to pontificate on the merits of having survived cancer rather than just pre-emptively enduring months of painful surgery so that AJ can live a healthy life with her partner and children? What a miserable twat.
Miserable twat is right on. I just wish she’d keep her misery to herself and shut the f*ck up already.
There was a time, back in the 90s, when I really, really liked Melissa Etheridge. But since then she has proven herself self to be a total assh*le.
Same here. I’m going to toss the one Melissa Etheridge CD I have. I used to love “Come To My Window”. It was getting iffy with the way she handled her divorce, especially regarding her kids. But this is beyond the pale. I cannot stand victim-blaming, nor can I stand willful ignorance and pseudoscience gobbledygook. She’s tainted everything past repair now.
Melissa is getting more attention than she has gotten in 15 years- even more attention than her split with Tammy Lynn. She also has a new album out now- hmmm. Because she trashed Angie, many more people want to interview her, she gets a ton more internet hits, etc., all mentioning her new album. What Angie did was ABSOLUTELY brave, even braver to share her story so modestly and clinically. Angie lives in a world that believes that a women’s power is in her breasts, sexuality and the clothes she wears. Should this change? Of course- sadly, women are often the worst at undermining women who won’t conform to those shallow values, much less try to actively change those values. Angie gets tons of scorn for wearng a sack dress or speaking out about wartime rape, but, thankfully she’s brave/evolved enough not to care. Clearly, Brad loves her and if he wants to call her brave, he can. Those who are working so hard to parse his words and diminsh what he & Angie have gone through and their generosity in sharing their story might want to examine where all that negativity is coming from. Melissa’s seems to be directly linked to media attention and a myopic worldview.
This is why I think Angie is “brave” in her choice- she put her kids first, her family first.
It’s easy for us to say “of course she did!” but given the statics of abuse, so many parents do NOT put their children first at all.
Knowing what kind of publicity she would face, knowing her livelihood is dependent upon her body and her looks, she chose to do this so that she could be healthier long term for her family. This is NOT a choice everyone makes (see: Brooke Mueller)
so SIT DOWN Melissa- given the choices YOU have made concerning your kids- STFU.
Celebitchy, I believe Angelina’s mom died of ovarian cancer not breast cancer.
Yes, that’s correct – Angie’s mom died of ovarian cancer; her aunt died of breast cancer. I think Angie plans to have a total hysterectomy in the near future.
During her 10 year battle with ovarian cancer, Angie’s mom also developed breast cancer. Not sure what her official cause of death was, but I’m thinking that 10 years was definitely a very, very awful thing to go through for the whole family. I’ve seen a couple of friends go through ovarian cancer battles and both developed other cancers, too. One is still fighting and another died at 44. So sad & she had 3 preteen kids.
IMO, Angie made her choice based entirely on her children; knowing her high probability of developing breast cancer, and not wanting her kids to grow up without a mom, or watch her die a slow, agonizing death like their grandmother, she made the best choice she could for them.
In the beating-a-dead-horse-dept., why do I get the feeling Melissa just doesn’t like Angie? Wasn’t Melissa a close bud of Brad and Jennifer during their marriage? Maybe she sided with Aniston in the divorce?
No class Melissa. Don’t find it “brave”? Keep it to yourself. You are making it pathetically clear that you can’t stomach the fact that Angelina’s choice may be seen as “braver” than battling the disease as you did. How about rejoicing in the thought that maybe she is right and will have a long life to dedicate to her family? Just wish her well, woman, and stop wearing your misery on your sleeve.
Melissa should have been more diplomatic and said that it wasn’t the choice she would have made or that it wasn’t the only option rather than saying it wasn’t a “brave” choice. I did see a handful or articles criticizing Angelina’s choice (not necessarily Angelina herself) and stressing that the procedure wasn’t for everyone. Melissa, however, just sounds an little bit bitter. I truly do think there is more that meets the eye in this situation. I did remember that Brad and Melissa where old friends and that she performed at his first wedding and that Brad’s ex wife was in one of her music videos. The interviewer did ask Melissa, BUT it sounds like she has had this answer rehearsed for a while now.
Please shut up Melissa, you sound like a idiot. What Angelina did she did for her family and after watching 2 people she loved die of the disease. There is nothing wrong with heading cancer off at the pass. Angelina also wants to help other women be able to get tested for the gene. I think she will make good on this effort considering her background of helping others. What have you done Melissa? When have you traveled to other countries to help children? Angelina always seems to back up what she does and I think she will champion for better medical care for women. Why don’t you do that instead of running off at the mouth about your thoughts on what causes cancer? Bravo Angelina, I applaud you for taking steps to better health and prolonging the time you have to be with your children. It is a tragedy to lose a parent at any age and if Angelina’s children lost her and knew it might have been prevented that would have hurt them. I say to Angelina Please get involved in the fight for better health care for women of all economic levels. You have a voice that will be listened too and we need that. Melissa… Keep your trap shut! You are brave for the way fought cancer, just like Angelina is for the way she is trying to prevent it.
Well said. Thank you. For all of us whom cancer has touched, and is touching…bless.
BooBooLaRue,
I am sorry that cancer has touched your life and the lives of those you love. I hope that you and those you love get all the care you need and know that you are being thought about. I am sending good thoughts your way. I lost my step brother to Leukemia and Grandfather to Prostrate cancer.
I felt so helpless knowing there was nothing I could do to help them. My mom became ill with a disease called Pulmonary Fibrosis and I had to fight the medical community, Medicare and the drug companies to get care for her. She needed a lung transplant and the wait was so long. You tend to lose all worries about pride when a loved one is dying. I remember falling to my knees in front of her doctor’s and transplant coordinator begging them to please take one of my own lungs to transplant into my mom. They wouldn’t do it, they didn’t want to get sued if I died, I told them “If you don’t do something and she dies, I will have died with her… what’s the difference? I die either way” They still said no, but the very next morning we got the call that they had found a match for her. I was blessed to have my beautiful mother and best friend 22 days shy of 3 years post transplant. Although the time was short, It was a gift and I think of her donor everyday. Losing mom killed me, but I am trying to make my way back to the world of the living.
Medical availability issues ignite a fire in me. It makes me angry that after all this times, with all that the medical community and drug companies know that there isn’t a cure for cancer or other diseases. I had to fight to get Pfizer to donate a life saving drug to my mother because at that time Medicare didn’t have Part D (this part gives patients medication coverage) I remember one instance that I broke down crying at the pharmacy because I couldn’t afford one vial of the breathing medication my mom needed and she was to use 1 vial every four hours. Pretty sad when the Pharmacist comes from behind the counter, sits besides you and holds your hand as you sob. He quietly whispered “I know, I know…” over and over again. The guy felt so bad that he gave me a weeks worth of medicine and paid for it himself. God bless the people out their that do things like that. I really hope Angelina fights on this one. If not for the rest of us, then for her biological daughters and grandchildren to come as they might carry the gene and might not have the same money that they have now to afford this testing. You just never know what can happen.
@Disgusted. Despite my lack of experience, there are no adequate words to describe how much I feel for you. As a student studying to become a pharmacist (the pharmacist who helped you out restores my faith in our occupation – people are always in it for the money, shamefully) and someone who’s butted heads (a little) with the medical way of doing things (doctors get me frustrated – they may see it everyday but it seems like they don’t know what it means to actually have the disease or be completely lost in how to help your loved one – maybe it’s their way of self-preservation but some sincere empathy wouldn’t hurt), I’m really at awe with how valiantly you persisted by your mum’s side. My heart goes out to you. I’m sure no mother could have had a more beautiful daughter. If it’s any comfort, you have definitely reaffirmed my decision to become an organ donor in the future. Stay strong!
Disgusted, your post brings me to tears. I just lost my own mom to lung cancer in February, just lost a cousin, a high school friend is fighting metastasized lung cancer, and have had my own battles; luckily mine were cancers with high cure rates and I am incredibly thankful for that. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. Bless you.
Early detection and eradication is KEY. Everybody please keep regular mammograms, PAP smears and physical exams, they may very well save your life.
Meanwhile, I don’t think anybody needs to throw shade on anybody else’s dealings with this dreaded disease.
Maybe her statement is just coming from a personal place where she was being defensive because she chose a different treatment path. What would it make her decision if the opposite choice is brave? Complacent? Or fearful? They both made health choices under medical care.
Melissa definitely shot herself in the foot TWICE.
But I think she sort of jumped on Brad’s use of “heroic”…the way he phrased it and the connotations I have for the word “heroic” made it sound like Angelina did an amazing deed for the world by getting a mastectomy. It was very brave of her to do it (going to the dentist makes me break out in sweat!) and massively effective in bringing up necessary awareness for women’s health and the future of medicine/science. And I’m sure she didn’t undergo the mastectomy to be toted as some saint, she did it to live a healthy life and prevent illness from taking her away from her family. Ultimately, her decision wasn’t heroic but a personal one that needed brave action to undergo.
As a Breast Cancer survivor of almost 15 years I can tell you all… What Ang did was brave! I am still waiting for ” the other shoe to drop” and it’s not a good thing.
If I had kids and the money I would have done what she did.! And paid for my Sister to have the testing! And to have anything my Sister wanted done. I did not have reconstruction, that was my choice. I had no clue if I was going to live or not… why go out in more pain than I already had. And it’s PAINFUL enough trust me!
Can’t stand her, her voice, or her songs or her angsty-McAngst.
Melissa’s very proud to be known as a vicious loud mouth, detestably mean spirited, hateful little jerk.
fu melissa.
i smell famewhoring.
You can go shave your back now, Melissa.
I also want to add that I’m proud of Brad Pitt for his attitude about Angie’s choice. A lot of men would not be able to handle it, even reconstructed breasts. They just wouldn’t see their partner the same way. Brad sounds like he was super supportive every step of the way and loves Angie no matter what and good for him for his maturity throughout, including his response to what Melissa said. I’m sure he’s disappointed and confused by her comments, since he considered her a friend.
A lot of men would not be able to handle it
I suppose it’s “a lot” numbers-wise, but I think the vast majority of men, percentage-wise, would handle it just fine. They would know this was about her and helping her get through this, and they’d be thrilled she was still around. Most men do love their wives, and that has nothing to do with appearance at all.
Etheridge is an idiot. I have been fighting breast cancer for 23 years, and have had to be BRAVE in my choices. One of those choices was a radical mastectomy and a clinical drug trial, all with the hope that I would live long enough to see my 3 year old grow up. That 3 year old is 26 now. How dare M.E. throw shade at a mother making the BRAVE choice to stay alive and healthy for her children. What the hell was she thinking, questioning anyone else’s personal health decisions?
Also, to the people saying that being a cancer patient does not make a person brave……really? Tell us about YOUR cancer survival stories. Let me guess….you have never had to fight it. If you have not walked in these shoes then feel free to shut the hell up. You have NO idea what you are talking about.
Thank you. My father is currently fighting stage 3 lung cancer. The fact that he gets out of bed every day, takes my mom out to lunch, works in the yard, goes to grandchildren’s events, and tries to live a normal life despite the pain, the fear, and knowing that he will not survive this battle, makes him pretty damn brave as far as I am concerned.
Best wishes to you on your continued brave fight!
Dear Januaries,
My thoughts and prayers go out to your father and to all of your family. Your father sounds like an amazing man. He has the right idea, and is living each day fully. None of us know what tomorrow might bring, or if we will even have a tomorrow. God bless him for fighting the fight, and continuing to really live and spend time with the people that he loves. I am inspired by him.
CeltLady
Thank you, Celt Lady! I appreciate your kind words!
F*ck her. Given AJ’s odds of 87%, why would it be somehow “braver” to wait until she actually got breast cancer? It’s not often that anyone can know with a fairly high degree of certainty what could very likely kill them. Somehow a preemptive mastectomy seems preferable to chemo, radiation, etc. Stupid twat.
Jennifer Aniston certainly has a lot of low class friends…I wonder when Chelsea Handler will start mocking Angelina’s double masectomy?!
Melissa knew Brad longer and was his friend. Lets leave Jen out of it
You want to know the number one way NOT to get cancer?
Don’t have the genes for it.
You want to know the number two way not to get cancer?
So do oncology researchers (me!).
Point is, a lot of factors contribute to who will get cancer and when, but most cancers you can only get if you have the gene for it. Stress is a minor factor in the grand scheme of things, and “acidity” is not on the list. Angelina had an 87% chance of getting ovarian or breast cancer before the double-mastectomy.
Sure, it would have been braver to just get the cancer and fight through it knowing those odds. It also would have been stupid and selfish, and agonizing waiting for the cancer to come (which it almost surely would).
My feeling here is that Brad and Mel were friends back in the day, and when he and Angelina got together they both lost a lot of friends. They both used to have a lot of friends, but now they have like a half-dozen kids and do humanitarian work in their free time when not filming blockbusters. So, some of their old friends are mad, including Ol’ Mel.
She strikes me as someone who still has a lot of bitterness and anger in her life, mostly for reasons that have nothing to do with AJ. But they have this one thing in common, and she has strong feelings and memories regarding her battle. I don’t pretend to know how a cancer survivor feels, but clearly there are a ton of complicated emotions involved. I think all of this convoluted her opinion, and had it been anyone else, she would not have been so acidic about it.
+1 to all of this.
Well said. And I can say as a person who is two years out from active treatment, I get really tired of people who claim to know THE answer about cancer. And I can only speak for myself, but I’ve already spent plenty of time second guessing and feeling guilty about what I may or may not have done to cause my breast cancer. The last thing I need is someone swanning in to tell me that “oh dontcha know, if you had do/eat x,y,z you can prevent cancer”. Awesome, fire up that time machine and I’ll get right on it. Not to mention that some of these suggestions were things I was already doing pre-diagnosis.
That’s a terrible thing to feel, isn’t it?
Like I said, I’m an oncology research associate. I’ve never had cancer and it is not prevalent in my family but I’ve had friends suffer from it, and every time someone I know is touched by it, they tend to ask me about causes and prevention. What kills me is the guilt I see people endure, wondering “what if? How could I have avoided this?”
Like I said, for nearly all cancers to start there must be a gene there first. The gene is dormant until it is switched on; in some cases the only switch is time, like a bomb that goes off randomly. Sometimes it’s a virus, but there are also known carcinogens. Occasionally stress can switch on a gene, but often it requires more than one trigger acting in concert.
The problem is that there are many things that are not carcinogens that can switch on a gene. There are also many suspected and unsuspected carcinogens that we don’t know enough or anything about.
The knowledge we need vs. what we have is so, so vast. It just breaks my heart to see people blaming cancer on anything (other than cigarettes, really). It does nothing but make an ill person worse off. What about the babies born with it? What did the baby do wrong?
I hope you are doing well now and have made peace with yourself. Hopefully you’ve found a nice way to tell all those “well-meaning” people to eff off. Best wishes to you, orion70.
She sounds like a Scientologist. She’s reminding me of Tom Cruise attacking Brooke Shields for getting her post-partum depression treated. Scientology isn’t the only place to find ignorant, judgmental, deeply stupid, just world fallacy attitudes about health. But wow the resemblance is striking.
She’s absolutely terrible.
Good point. I googled it after you said it and found nothing, but the resemblance is definitely there.
“F*ck cancer any way you can” LOVE IT CB.
Amen Sista!!!
As most know my health has always been a big problem in my life & I gave had the word brave used regarding me ALOT thru my life. I never saw myself as brave, but as one living life as best I can & a survivalist. Not until I had a very close blood relative freak out when witnessing all my drainage bags being emptied while I was being taught by my ostomy nurse how to care for my stoma (thus fresh post op stitches, blood, etc not pretty). This family member made me feel like shit because she said she would have rather have died than gone thru that ordeal & now live w/ this – this after I just had battled & won my first round of Zovarian Cancer so really didn’t need to hear it). I know where I stand w/ this close relative that wa once my BFF as well. We really gave no relationship because my illnesses are unpredictable & embarrass this person.
All that being said… It had given me a new perspective. I am brave enough to face my illnesses & life head on and have always thought screw anyone that thinks less of me for illnesses I had no control over. Everyone has an opinion & entitled to one, but some things arc better left unsaid or at a different time or place. NOONE deserves Cancer or any life threatening or chronic illness, but that is life. No one deserves to be raped or cheated on but that is life. EVERYONE faces challenges in their daily lives and has shown bravery of some kind. But it’s never Brave to put down ones choosing to fight an illness or prevent an illness whenever possible. Choosing to live & fight an illness or anything horrific in life rather during or preventive is Brave. Saying you’d rather die or poohing on one for making a truly informed decision to prevent such an illness (or ordeal) is not only insensitive but also shows IMO lack of human compassion. Both Angelina and Melissa were brave in the situations they faced. However how they dealt w/ it regarding education, compassion, and empathy wise… Angelina has shown bravery. ME did… But must have forgotten over the years what it took to get thru it all. So unless she can quit poohing on others choices & trying to make flip comments about what causes illnesses as she is not in the medical field, I suggest ME go volunteer at a children’s cancer ward & regain some empathy!!
Hope this makes sense.. This gets me very emo. Especially the chemo meds I’m on for the kidney failure have made me a bit more sensitive.
Green Eyes,
I hear you, sister. I had a woman at a “support” group tell me that she would stick her head in an oven if she got breast cancer again (like I did). I had relatives turn into absolute jerks, and they totally avoided me.
I guess the lesson here is good riddance to toxic people who can’t be supportive when you need them to be.
Keep fighting, and you will be in my prayers.
CeltLady
Melissa has so many things going on besides her rabid opinion of Angelina Jolie’s health issues, why it is the 20th Anniversary of ‘Yes I Am’, don’t you know? And all those tour dates.
She’s so busy with her exes, supporting her 4 kids, public issues, DOJ visits and telling people how to treat their cancer. Wonder how she finds time to scrape the bs off her shoes?
I object to her objection of the term “brave” when it comes to breast cancer. I’ve known a few women who have opted for the same procedure Angie underwent, and I have ZERO judgment when it comes to survival, particularly when children are a part of the equation.
Melissa just keeps digging her grave with me. I used to like her and her music; now I no longer listen.
Oh, snap! It goes back to the UNCOOL BERMUDA TRIANGLE!!!
Please do us all a favour here Celebitchy and don’t claim shade was sent to Jolie as FACT – its yr interpretation – nothing more nothing less and many people on here yesterday saw it a different way.
I read a lot of the same comments today as I did yesterday. I didn’t post then, but did today. Both were brave in what they did w/ choices they faced. However only one made comments regarding another’s choice in a negative light or dared to suggest that Cancer patients basically have themselves to blame. In this world that has enough ugliness and cruelty… When it comes to a horrible disease as cancer, whether battling, preventing, or raising awareness we should do so in a positive manner. If we don’t agree w/ ones choices there are ways of saying that’s not a choice that I might have made and leave it at that. Also, unless one has a certified medical degree hanging up somewhere… One shouldn’t make comments as to how others may have gotten an illness. People are so quick to make flip or bad ass remarks for notoriety w/o thinking of the actual damage they are doing.
yes, melissa’s comments re: stress and knowing ‘why she got cancer’ did have that flip side of blame the victim. But the discussion about health seems to have only two teams to join: you either are a victim or you are perceived to be saying that it’s someone’s ‘fault’ that they are sick.
No, it’s not anyone’s fault. It IS a pragmatic, scientifically researched [as we speak] topic, regarding what activates latent genetic material, influences and behaviors that can decrease or curb those risks. Many, including melissa, do seem to take that as I ‘I chose to get this’.
It’s not meant to be personal, but scientific pragmatism. Bruce Lipton’s Biology of Belief is an interesting read.
Obviously, in the ‘fight against’ whatever, the scientific community will look at all variables and prevention/treatment strategies, and if they find that certain levels of stress will activate a gene, then yea, it’s common sense to consider approaching that angle to prevent it. Does not mean someone is a ‘bad person’ or that it is their fault, for being stressed.
I think her word choice was poor, but Melissa’s underlying point is valid. I also question her own naiive polarization-that she knows ‘what she did’ to get cancer, like it’s a moral game of good and bad, is how it came across. And that personalized approach is exactly the reason why we cannot have intelligence discussions about disease and health. If you dare to question alternatives, you are told you are blaming someone for getting sick. You have to pick one of two teams: victim or perp. but life inherently has more than two teams.
@ Irm, suggest you retread my comment.. No where did I say there are only 2 sides. However, not being well informed when speaking to media or in your terms ‘polarizing one self’ yet sounding generic as if speaking regarding in general on such an issue w/o research or studies is reckless. Yes, I am fully aware environment, stress, alcohol, drugs, genetics come into play with a lot when it comes to health and many more factors. However, not everyone smokes, drinks, do drugs, consume unhealthy foods, or have a family history of an illness, yet they are hit with it… nor did I ever say they (myself included) are victims. She wouldn’t have gotten flack had she spoke & said this was her theory on why she personally may have gotten cancer but couldn’t speak for anyone else. She should stick to songwriting, otherwise do a little research or as I said above go volunteer at a children’s cancer ward before she shoots her mouth off again. A lot of illnesses out there that are horrible & take lives. We shouldn’t knock each others decisions when it comes to how they deal w/ their own person situation. We shouldn’t blame either.. I stand firm when I say the world tears you down enough as do illnesses, we should work together to fight these illnesses. No victim… I never said Victim. I refuse to be a victim. Fighter, Survivor. & champion of many things but never victim.
Having an organ removed is a very scary thing, even when it poses a risk to your health. I had my thyroid removed because of a tumor. It was weird, it wasn’t just scary, it was SAD. I felt SAD that a part of me had been taken out. I think that faced with the options of waiting to see if that hammer ever dropped and being flooded with memories of her mother and aunt, or having a part of herself removed that either decision she could have made would have been a brave one. I think she chose what was right for her, and I think it was a brave thing to do because having parts of yourself taken out, especially something like breasts, is scary and emotional. If someone thinks she did the wrong thing, they should just keep it to themselves because it’s not their body, it’s not their health, it’s not their family and it’s not their LIFE.
I had to have my remaining top teeth removed when I was 20, after 2 years of trying to save them. I went home and cried. The procedure was necessary for my health, and to be honest, I wanted a nice smile. I still felt like a body part had been amputated. It was like losing a hand or something. I was overwhelmed with sadness.
@Lady D- that is such a young age sweetie to have gone thru that my heart goes out to you. Those years most are just starting to get confidence, relating to life as an adult, & still dealing with self image issues. That took a lot of courage especially given such a young age on your part & wisdom to choose health.
Winners find: Solutions (Anjie)…
Losers find: Excuses
Anjie is letting people know they have options. The brave is irrelevant and an opinion. Move on woman, you had your option, so leave others alone…
The billions of dollars given to find a cure hasn’t worked, has it? That money goes to MEN (science)…Maybe prevention is the key and money should go towards the WOMEN.
Anjie got the attention because she is loved. You lady, go take care of your own business, please. You sound like a fool who is jeoulous and needy of attention so go away and sing.
This woman’s definition of brave is to wait for the cancer then spend trillions to hopefuly cure it.
Oh wait, there’s no cure…
Anjie, your brave, beautiful, stunning,loved by many and I don’t think you need to be reminded to ignore such lame comments.
PATHETIC.
She just sounds jealous that Jolie was called brave, as if it somehow detracts from HER. No Melissa, you can keep your survivor badge, you earned it, this in no way detracts from you or others.
Why does Jolie always elicit this kind of petty bs?
She’s also taking a dump on every other woman facing/choosing similar circumstances and those BRAVE (yes brave) enough to face those choices and be pro-active about their own health.
Jolie seems to understand true sisterhood in a way that this woman doesn’t.
This +1000.
She sounds ignorant
Well. ME seems like she’s not a ‘fan’ of AJ and used this moment to reply to Brad’s statement. No wonder Brad hasn’t called her. AJ is his girl, think he’s gonna stick close to you while you take cheap shots at AJ? I don’t think this is about Cancer at all, just some underlying jealousy/bitterness coming out under the cover of a terrible disease and that is the part that sucks. ME just comes off as mean and hateful toward AJ and using Brad’s words to stick it to her.
As someone who dealt with breast cancer, shes probably not a fan of the world calling jolie’s choice brave because many women do the same thing after the cancer is certain and they are just aa brave. People dont like to see others on pedastools
AJ’s decision to be proactive about avoiding a terrible disease for which her risk is higher than normal may or may not be “brave”, according to our own definitions of that word.
Her decision to tell the public what she’d done & why was definitely brave in my personal dictionary.
Best wishes to all the posters here who are handling their own battles with any cancers, their own or those of loved ones. Sometimes it’s brave just not to let your kids see you cry.
i’m not reading through this whole thread, but i agree with Melissa; I found it absurd how people were calling her a ‘hero’ and ‘brave’. maybe she is ‘brave’ in that we are all ‘brave’ in the face of our own individual life challenges-of which there are many, for nearly all of us. It’s brave to face up and deal with the hard stuff, however it comes to you.
That said, she was asked a question in an interview, and i’m not sure she ‘thought about it ahead of time’, in as much as she ‘had no choice but to hear bout it’, b/c it was all over the news, radio and blogs at the time. You’d have to have been under a rock not to hear about it. And like her, I agree that it is AJ’s choice and i don’t have an opinion on what she personally ‘should’ have done, but I do have an opinion on the media portrayal as ‘brave’ and a ‘hero’ and the implication that SHE made the RIGHT choice and this is what EVERYONE should do. That was the media’s implication in their coverage on it. And melissa, whom I am not fan of, as a aside, is responding to this. I don’t think her opinion makes her a bad person or an a-hole.
And it was a fear based choice on AJ’s part. But that makes sense, b/c it’s a scary situation for her personally, the potential to potentially ‘have a gene activated’ in possibly 20 years [the age her mother was when she died of ‘ovarian’ cancer]. so that is her deal, and I resent how the media has used it as a hysteria type of campaign, implying we should fund every women who might potentially ahve cancer of the breast of ovaries, to just remove them. Yea, there was an underlying thread of that attitude in the coverage in general. It was not stated outright, of course.
I do not recall any campaigns similarly for male prostate cancer. Pre emptive castration, anyone? That will never happen, despite the high growth in prostate cancer.
I do not think it is comparable. Breasts do not really have a function after child rearing. Yes, they look nice, they are part of our womanhood, feel during sex, etc. But… We can function whollly without them. We can have sex and even reproduce without them, just not feed babies.
I bet that if a man who would not want children or already has his, and he decided to get rid of gis prostathe, he could get away with it and still have sex.
Prostate cancer tends to occur later in life and is more easily detected than breast or ovarian cancer. Research has shown that many men diagnosed with prostate cancer will die of other causes before their cancer progresses enough to kill them. Many oncologists now recommend no treatment for those men. Very different circumstances from what AJ was facing. Her mother was Dx’d with ovarian cancer about 10 years before she died and suffered a great deal before she died.
Mellisa is correct:
As you may know, your body has a certain pH level that it needs to maintain to remain functional. A more alkaline environment (meaning the opposite of acidic) is ideal, as this is better for cellular communication and function, the transport of oxygen and nutrients. In contrast, an acidic environment is the exact opposite, making it very hard for cells to do their job. If you want to prevent disease, you want to keep your physical constitution as alkaline as possible. Increasing intake of organic vegetables, fruits loaded with live enzymes and high-quality water can help.
I’ve noticed that many Caucasian women place a lot of emphasis on physical attributes as being womanly. Look at the sheer numbers of implants. Racially who’s getting it more?
Getting your breasts removed by CHOICE is a huge deal. She’s saying I’m a WOMAN real breasts or no breasts and I’m kicking this thing’s ass now so I can be with my kids.
THAT to me is very brave. More women need to revel in this. We are MORE than breasts. So many wax on about not feeling womanly with flat breasts, no breasts, etc. As if breast are the sole indication you’re a woman and without them you’re not a woman. That’s BS.
It’s a sad society when men have warped so many into thinking being blond, big breasted is a woman. Or even just big breasts in general. Sad indeed. It’s not racist to say it because statistically it’s true. The facts are there and if you ask/read about the reasons why it’s from a strict vanity standpoint.
Women lose breast mass after babies. Forget reveling in being a mother. They don’t feel “feminine” or womanly without breasts anymore. That’s BS. We are MORE than breasts. I’m not knocking women who do it. Well I am because I think it’s BS for that to be a reason but if you want to believe you’re not a woman after breastfeeding kills your boobs, God didn’t give you any and you’ve been flat since age 13 then rock on with your silicone.
But for Angelina to take a stand on tackling cancer before it tackles her AND inadvertently getting rid of the noted ones she had was brave.
Some would rather keep their cancer gene filled breasts over opting to remove them and get implants because the implants wouldn’t be real.
A side note:
For a relatively large chunk of the day, the Radar menu (on the bottom of this page) had the headline about Courtney Snodden declaring that now, at last, now she feels like a woman because she got size D implants. SHE’S FCUKING 18 YEARS OLD!!!!!!
She has no idea and yet, here she is with opportunities to say cr@p like this. Why?
She is a washed-up has-been just seeking the spotlight.
I recall when Eminem released that gay-bashing song back in the 90s she not only rushed to his defense (as a lesbian, no less) but even took it one step further to say he was ‘wonderful’ and she’d love to do a duet with him.
Go away, skank!
prevention is better then a cure
Brad is proud of Anjie for making a very personal matter public in order to let others know they have choices. Anjie is very brave for doing it for sure. This Mallisa needs to chill and hopefuly go away. What Anjie did is none of her business and how her partner feels about her is not for her to judge. He can think she is god in his eyes and who is anyone to say what a loved one can feel or not. Be thankful she has brought awareness to prevention is leave it at that. Don’t like it Malissa, then tough luck. Don’t like your music either, does it make me brave? Yeah, it does for not listening…
I’m a cancer survivor (so far) and I’m sick of people like Melissa deluding themselves into believing that if you eat all the right things and do all the right things, you won’t get cancer. You might be able to lower your chances but NOBODY can truly control whether or not they get this disease.
I had uterine & ovarian cancer. I would have gladly gone through a hysterectomy before I got cancer to avoid all the chemo & radiation I had to go through. Unfortunately, there’s no family or known genetic connection that would have predicted my cancer.
Melissa’s relationship history had already lowered her in my eyes. This pretty much finishes any appeal she ever had for me. She’s doing a free concert next month about 3 blocks from where I live. I won’t be going.
I am going through this right now. I had a mammogram back in March, just like I have done for the past 7 years. This time, it came back. I have stage two breast cancer. If I had known six months ago, that this was waiting for me-hell yes. I would have done the exact same thing. I have had a lumpectomy and am doing radiation. I whole heartatedly agree with the F cancer. I also agree that ANYWAY someone decides how to treat THEIR cancer is brave and heroic. Raising my glass to ALL the brave and heroic going through this hell right now.
Am I the only one who saw the recent pictures of Angelina, and thought she looked incredibly low in weight even for her? Her wrists and hands look skeletal. I honestly fear for her for that more than anything. She’s lost a lot of the figure that made her sexy to so many (hello, Hackers!), but beyond that, if this is not due to some type of restricted eating or purging, does she have a thyroid issue? Surely they would have run those tests prior to a surgery.
If Melissa believes that cancer comes from the inside, then maybe she should spend more time with positive words instead of objecting to negative ones. Translation-STFU.
She seems to know more than the research community does about cancer.
Whatev…maybe she’s jealous because Brad goes to bed with the gorgeous, intelligent and “brave” Angelina every night. Like I said earlier, I find it courageous however anyone chooses to deal with this deadly disease. There’s no reason to pick Angelina’s decision apart. It is what it is. And Melissa should just shut up about it.
I smell jealousy!
“F*ck cancer any way you can.”
Great quote. Short, but it gets the point across.
It is a personal choice and no one should be shallow enough to sit in judgment, especially someone who has actually had breast cancer.
Everyone has their own level of tolerance of what they can or cannot live with. AJ decided, given her particular circumstances, she was going to try and minimize her chances of having the same fate as her mother and aunt. Of course she was scared. Who wouldn’t be scared? But, maybe she felt like she would be waiting for the other shoe to drop and that was not something she could tolerate.
Someone else may have a completely different take on it. Someone else may not be willing or feel it is necessary to undergo such drastic surgery unless they have no choice. Nothing wrong with that decision either.
ME needs to recognize that and stop judging the personal choices made by people about their health.
I dislike JA’s friends (Melissa Etheridge and Chelsea Lately/Handler). I think I’m gonna have to switch to Team Jolie because it’s true what they say …. birds of a feather flock together.
Melissa was brads friend. Jen has done nothing wrong regarding Jolie, but she shouldnt have to defend her for others to think Jennifer is nice.
I’ve always been uncomfortable about people referring to people dealing with a disease or disability as “brave” or “heroic” or “courageous”. It just seems like the wrong way to look at it. It’s normal to just play the cards you’re dealt, people do that all the time. It’s not normal to just go hide under the bed in the face of such challenges. Really, what else can you do? Maybe words like “determined”, “clever”, “creative” would work in describing people who manage to just deal with such problems and live as normal a life as possible regardless of any obstacles in their path. But “brave”? Not really. I doubt that Angelina Jolie feels brave about her decision. She weighed the pros and cons and just did it. And in this particular case, she did it to reduce the fear level and the uncertainty. Wise or practical, yes. Brave? No.
A neighbor was always saying “how awful, that poor dog” whenever he spotted three-legged Charlie in the yard next door. Charlie was anything but “poor Charlie”. He was able to get along quite well with his three legs. Well enough that he routinely slipped off his leash to go visiting neighbors. Even my cats liked him, he was that kind of dog. The same neighbor kept pulling the same routine every time he saw me wearing a charcoal mask (“how awful” etc.), while to me it was as normal as putting on a hat to go outside and I would just forget I had it on. I was enjoying breathing very clean air, minus all the car exhausts and awful artificial fragrances in dryer exhaust or from line-drying clothes…. I have a variety of other genetic problems that I have to deal with, but that’s not being brave. My uncle had a serious genetic problem that affected his feet (he had many operations in childhood but was still rather wobbly – he had the most interesting shoes molded to fit the odd shape) and also had neurological consequences (in particular, an intentional tremor, i.e., one that got worse when he tried to focus on picking up a cup, for instance). My aunt just got practically indestructible plates and cups (which fortunately I inherited, since I drop things a lot) and plastic tablecloths. I never thought of my uncle as “brave”, just interesting because of his differences and how he coped with them. We were talking about abortion once, I assume about aborting to avoid disabilities, and he said people forget that it’s good to be alive despite disabilities. He wasn’t a Pollyanna type, either.
“F-ck cancer any way you can”
For this, I will read your site every day, forever.
My mother battled it, and if she had known ahead of time, she would have gotten a double mastectomy right there, instead of suffering for so many years in such horrendous torture.
Thank you Celebitchy! <3
I love aj. I think she’s a great actress and classy as hell and all that. But I still agree with Melissa becaus cancer is formed because ur ph balance is not balanced and the acidic content of ur body and the things u eat. I think if Angelina just tried to fight it with taking care of herself and proper nutrition she could beat cancer and kept her breast. The cancer industry makes millions off of the fear if so many they try to make it look like ajs decision is the only way to cope with it. U don’t have to maim ur self to cure urself. That’s what the cancer industry wants all of us maim and destort our bodies. There are so many other alternatives not just one way to fight cancer. And yeah f*ck cancer.
I don’t think Angelina is braver than any other person who has to go through a difficult situation. It was maybe brave of her to talk about it so openly, but I’ve seen too many people in my life much more serious situations to go all gooey over Angie. I’m not a fan anyway. I could never understand the world’s fascination and unwavering adoration of this image manipulator.
I’m also shocked by all the posts bashing ME about her personal life and choices, when Angelina Jolie’s life hasn’t been the best example either.
I wish people would stop buying into her PR.
This is axe to grind BS talking. It was a nasty, nasty, thing to say, esp. so soon after the procedure, so soon after Jolie lost her aunt to cancer, and she can back peddle it all she wants, but the fact is it’s an unnecessary slap in the face, and a naked bid for attention. (The last time Miss E had a hit was…?) It WAS brave for Jolie to take precautionary action and to lose what are her considerable assets. Jolie’s breasts are part of her great beauty, so to take the risk that she might be perceived as not as physically ideal as before, for an A-list actress, yes, it’s brave. Anticipating and preventing an aggressive cancer head-on is brave. The way she handled the deaths of her mother and aunt, from aggressive cancer, was brave. If Brad Pitt, who watched her go through this journey minute by minute called her brave, why should we even listen to Etheridge’s version of events — when she wasn’t even there? Etheridge has gall judging anyone’s courage, considering the cowardly manner in which she kicked her life partner to the curb.
You know what’s brave? Not choosing a drug abuser with multiple health problems to be your kids’ bio dad. Yet that’s what Etheridge did when she picked David Crosby.
Didn’t Christina Applegate do the same thing like 4 years ago? I don’t recall Melissa Etheridge weighing in on that back then, as well as all the bravery talk going on now.