I was going to wait to write about some of the Royal Baby stuff (otherwise known as The Prince Crumpets Extravaganza) until we had gotten the first photos of the Cambridges post-birth, when they stood outside of the hospital with their new baby. Unfortunately, royal reporters are now being told that William and Kate probably won’t leave the hospital until “6 pm” and it might even be later than that, or even tomorrow. Which means we won’t have photos for a while, and I’m not going to waity. So let’s get to some Prince Crumpets news! First off, astrologers have already done the baby’s charts and it’s quite interesting if you like horoscopes and stuff:

The full horoscope of Kate Middleton and Prince William’s son contains rare and deeply auspicious alignments. This is a royal heir who will grow up in challenging times but will eventually preside over an era of marvels. The future monarch will be remembered for the rest of time as the rule-breaker who became a peacemaker.

He will find an inner reserve of strength that shapes his character and moulds him into a truly charismatic monarch. His story will be full of hard-won victories and narrow escapes – and these same themes will run through the story of his subjects.

I base my predictions on far more than just the fact that the new arrival is a sensitive Cancerian, like his father and his departed grandmother, Diana. And, by the way, he is a Cancerian. The Sun entered Leo (and thus the sign of Leo began), just a couple of minutes after he drew his first breath. So he is a Cancerian, through and through, even though he was born as close to the end of this sign as his father was born to the beginning of it.

He was born at the time of the Full Moon. Children born so close to the lunar culmination invariably lead charmed yet challenging lives. There are other fascinating factors in his chart, too. Just a few hours before he was born, Venus moved from Leo to Virgo, suggesting that babies born this week will be especially blessed with clever, inquiring minds.

And all this happened just as Mercury ended a particularly difficult ‘retrograde phase’. Children born when Mercury is retrograde often tend to be more thinkers than doers. It is almost as if the new heir to the throne waited until he was a week overdue in order to pick up every possible astrological advantage.

He has the Moon in Capricorn, and Scorpio rising. These are slightly trickier influences: Moon in Capricorn people can be self-critical, and those with Scorpio rising can sometimes jealously guard their privacy.

Readers of my regular column know that this week there is a phenomenon known as a ‘Watery Grand Trine’ being formed in the sky between Neptune in Pisces, Saturn in Scorpio and the conjunction of Jupiter and Mars in Cancer. Many people are calling this a Harmonic Convergence, and seeing it as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to ‘heal the world’, to promote a culture of greater spirituality and to increase an awareness of the need for world peace. This child inherits the spirit of this convergence and will carry it with him throughout his life.

[From Hello Magazine]

The moon in Capricorn and Scorpio rising, which means he’ll be neurotic and obsessed with privacy? That should be interesting. Of course, it’s not like an astrologer ever looked at a baby’s charts and said, “Oh yeah, this kid’s going to be a serial killer.” Also, I’m wary of her claim that the kid is going to be a Cancerian through and through – I’ve always heard that “Cusp” signs are trickier. Like, someone born on the cusp of two signs, like this kid, will often have traits of both signs.

Let’s see, other news… Prince William issued a statement yesterday, hours after the birth of his child, saying simply that “we could not be happier.” He also issued a public thanks to the staff of St. Mary’s Hospital, saying, “We would like to thank the staff at the Lindo Wing and the whole hospital for the tremendous care the three of us have received. We know it has been a very busy period for the hospital and we would like to thank everyone – staff, patients and visitors – for their understanding during this time.” A spokesperson also told the press that “mother, son and father are all doing well this morning.” Then why can’t we see them?! Baby photos, stat!

There are also a bunch of stories about how Kate and William haven’t hired a nanny (YET) and how that makes them “just like us” etc. I bet they have a baby nurse, though, and Kate and the baby are going to the Middleton house straight away, where Carole will act as a full-time nanny I’m sure. The Daily Mail also has a flat-out fascinating story about Prince Charles and what kind of grandfather he’ll be and how he really doesn’t like little children at his “fastidious” Highgrove estate. There are also some details about Charles’ wariness about William’s closeness with the Middleton family. That whole piece is worth a read.

Newspaper covers courtesy of Fame/Flynet, spoof photo courtesy of Twitter.