Did Chris Martin tell friends that Gwyneth Paltrow is ‘dynamite’ in bed? Gross.

If you force me to consider it… no, I don’t think Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have a very exciting sex life. I think Gwyneth probably thinks they have a great sex life, but I have doubts as to whether Chris would agree. The obvious joke, I guess, is that Gwyneth will only have sex on 1000-count organic sheets whilst listening to the most elite of Buddhist monks chanting, with the bed surrounded by the most expensive ambrosia-scented Diptyque candles and rare Ghost orchids. But I don’t think she’s really like that in the bedroom. I think she’s probably quite normal and conventional with sex and I really don’t think Chris had been with many women when they started up, so maybe he doesn’t know any better. But maybe I have to rethink Goop’s sexy, sexy ways (ugh) because Star Magazine claims Chris has been bragging about his wife’s dynamite sex. Gross.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s husband, Chris Martin, isn’t doing her ego any favors – because Martin has been telling friends that she’s amazing in the sack!

“Chris says she’s ‘dynamite’ behind closed doors,” spills an insider. “He jokes that she’s a lady everywhere but the bedroom. He’s addicted to her body.”

Chris, 36, who has been married to Gwyneth for nine years, even gets the raunchy treatment during arguments. Gwyneth admitted to once telling a friend that instead of bickering with her husband, she should “go at him with love” and give him oral sex.

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

“He’s addicted to her body”? Yes, that would be the kind of thing that would feed her ego. Too bad she has an anemic, vitamin-deficient, osteoporosis-ridden body. It’s a wonder she can even have sex, you know? I doubt she can spare the calories. But sure, she has the butt of a 22-year-old stripper and she has a “full bush” and she loves to go down on her husband in the middle of a fight. I know all of this because she said so in interviews over the past six months. So here’s my conspiracy theory about this story… I think the origin was actually Gwyneth humble-bragging and putting words into Chris’s mouth. I think she’s been telling friends that Chris tells her she’s “dynamite” in the sack and that he’s “addicted” to her body. That sounds exactly like something she would say.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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152 Responses to “Did Chris Martin tell friends that Gwyneth Paltrow is ‘dynamite’ in bed? Gross.”

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  1. springingforward says:

    You know what they say. If they are bragging about it, it isn’t really happening.
    Me thinks thou dost protest too much, etc.

  2. Willa says:

    Having sex with her would be like having sex with a vanilla bean.

  3. lady mary. says:

    dynamite? or more like a wet fizzled cracker doused in colon cleanser

  4. Esmom says:

    I call BS because who seriously says “dynamite” ??

    • Liv says:

      It’s Star, so it’s not true.

      She looks so much like Tracy Anderson in the picture above, so creepy!

      • lrm says:

        I know! on carpets and events she does look like anderson. Yet, I saw pics of her arriving in spain the other day, and she looked more like her old self-a little more au naturel, casual chic=ish clothing, etc. She looked quite beautiful, actually, compared to how harsh she always looks on the red carpet in the last few years, IMO.

    • aang says:

      disingenuous hipsters say dynamite…….

    • Cherry says:

      really. ‘She’s a lady everywhere but the bedroom.’ Said no member of the male species whatsoever EVER IN HIS LIFE.

    • Chicagogurl says:

      Uhm J.J. Walker, repeatedly! Kidding.

      She sounds like she uses sex as a means of manipulation. I doubt she’s dynamite, but I bet she’s overcompensating. Also, he seems like he’d be whole wheat toast – so dry in bed too.

  5. Elisabeth says:

    People who are having great sex don’t tell anyone about it because they don’t have to. You can see it in their chemistry together. These two don’t want to be photographed together… #fail

    • m says:

      So true! But everyone thinks they are awesome in bed.

    • Veeeery Veerytas says:

      Why should we advertise that we have a good thing? It would invite others to try to steal her away.

      • Meredith says:

        I knew a guy who had a sports car that was very low to the ground. He had a bumper sticker that said “I may be low to the ground but I can still get it up”. Gross. And I thought if you have to advertise that you can meet basic standards (getting an erection), then there is something wrong with you. Same thing with bragging.

  6. blue marie says:

    I dont believe it for a second. Probably a bit like smacking a dead fish.

    • Belle Epoch says:

      Didn’t he say she is his first girlfriend, or something like that? Meaning… How would he know?

  7. Virgilia Coriolanus says:

    Ewww! If you say it, it ain’t true. Especially with Goop. She just looks so uptight ALL THE TIME. She looks like she’s constipated half the time, probably from that silver spoon up her butt. She doesn’t seem like she’s a fun person to be around at all. Like that one person that talks about their diet (good or bad ) all the time.

    • jinni says:

      With her obsession with colon cleanses and cod liver oil, she is anything but constipated. Maybe that’s why she has diarrhea of the mouth.

      Anyway, I feel bad for their friends if this is true; some things should be kept between a couple and not shared.

  8. lady_luck says:

    “Too bad she has an anemic, vitamin-deficient, osteoporosis-ridden body.”

    lol. sad, but true.

  9. Tessa says:

    Well, she did bag Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck too, soo…

    It’s possible she’s a freak in the sheets. I can see her hosting BJ classes for her friends and studying up on tantric sex. She seems like the type.

    • jinni says:

      Brad always seemed sexless to me and Ben looks like he’d be into some hardcore, grimy, degrading stuff that he probably only wants to do with strippers or other women and not his main chick.

    • Jen34 says:

      I liked her when she was with Pitt. She has changed a lot since then.

    • Veeeery Veerytas says:

      I can see her freezing a drink from across the room.

    • lucy says:

      Brad always said she was a zero in bed, and he was gone long before she said she cheated and broke his heart.

      • Vesta says:

        I think it only proves that Brad doesn’t have a sensitivity chip…GOOP is not my fave but neither is Brad…

      • Virgilia Coriolanus says:

        Whoa, when did he say that? I’ve never read anything about him bad mouthing any of his exes. Links, please.

      • linda says:

        I heard Brad trashing GOOP for last 6 months of relationship. He was pushing her away, complaining she was too high maintanence and not even good in bed. She was mad that he wouldn’t help her get a part she wanted and more in her career so she tried to sexually manipulate him. He would talk about how unworth it she was, right in front of her face to friends and she made such a fool of herself trying to get her way. She then cheated, sure that would bring him back to her but he walked. She couldn’t believe it but got what she deserved. The industry has laughed for years because the mags still go for the Jennifer angle but it was really Gwyneth that he was miserable with not Jen. Reports of this all over LA and NYC at the time. Now he stil laughs at her now whenever she pulls her sweet and innocent act that she feels so guilty having broken his heart.Ironically, Michael Douglas and he would discuss it all the time – he can’t stand her just tolerates her cause he was so close to her Dad and Speilberg. (Funny note too: though Michael trashes Gwen publicly and has since Perfect Murder, he trashes Gwyneth too with Brad to this day. AND Gwyneth is supposedly at Michael’s house now…I think. Catherine and Michael aren’t there in Spain with them. GP tried to pull her buddy up and manipulate back stab MO with Catherine and Catherine kicked GP’s butt big time. Catherine is so down to earth and funny and a guy’s guy as well as a beauty, and Gwynnie is such a pretentious mean bore. Brad has never publicly trashed anyone of his exes, not even Jen, just the way he was when he was married to her.

      • Virgilia Coriolanus says:

        @linda
        Wait, so you’re saying it’s just rumors (probably tabloids who started them) that Brad said anything like that about GOOP. Because that would be the first time I have even remotely heard Brad say anything bad about his exes. And I have a really hard time thinking he’d say that publically about GOOP, even if it were true. She, by all accounts, broke his heart. He called her “his angel” at the Golden Globes.

      • Diane says:

        They all cheated on Gwynnie. Brad did too, true above, he let her “take the blame” for her to save face in her eyes. Look at how even more miserable she looked and he was at any old pics of them together the last six months. She is a compulsive liar (among other things) and when they all cheat there is a reason – it’s her. So now, she is not good in bed. Plus, I pity Chris, he was only with her a few months before she played the oldest trick in the book and got knocked up by accident. That was really crappy of her, he was so young at the time so she gets what she deserves.

      • Sal says:

        Firstly, Brad has NEVER made those comments about her. Provide actual proof of him in an interview, not tabloid lies.
        Secondly, Diane, you got it way wrong because its known that Brad didn’t cheat on Gwyneth, she cheated on him, thats why their engagement broke up.
        People, please reference actual interviews, not posting outrageous Star and National Enquirer lies. The facts are easy enough to find, why regurgitate tabloid bs?

  10. lucy2 says:

    Was this tip from an “insider” signed “Love, Goop”?
    Because seriously, I know she’s had a lot of bad PR lately, but if this is what she or her team thinks helps…it doesn’t.

    • Cherry says:

      Must be. ‘She’s a lady everywhere but the bedroom. He’s addicted to her body.’- sounds like the kind of woman Goopy wishes she’d be.

  11. T.Fanty says:

    Oh dear. Although, to be honest, I’d probably still hit GOOP before Chris Martin. Could you imagine those crazy eyes hovering over you? Never mind the guilt of thinking that you might have inspired another Coldplay dirge.

    • jinni says:

      LOL.

    • Anna says:

      Uuuuugh, he is so gross, I do not want to think about him having sex. Gwynnie, on the other hand…she probably has a sick stamina, does ‘tightening’ exercises, a 20-yo’s body, and mastered some advanced tantric moves bc that’s so GOOP. So maybe.

      • T.fanty says:

        Plus, Gwynnie seems to get fun when she drinks. Chris Martin always looks so tense that I’m frightened the only way he can unwind is by slaughtering prostitutes, and writing Coldplay lyrics on the wall in blood.

      • Anna says:

        T. Fanty, marry me!

        PS – I’ll share Hemsworth!

    • JJ says:

      Judging by his crazy eyes look, I am surprised she WANTS to have sex with him.

      • joan says:

        Believe me his eyes in person are beautiful and he is sweet and hot. And his eyes are really blue, unlike hers which are contacts.

    • Joblow says:

      I have always wondered what GOOP stood for?

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      “Never mind the guilt of thinking that you might have inspired another Coldplay dirge.”

      Haaaaaaaaaa!!! AWESOME.

      Yeah I feel totally alone in the fact that I could imagine her being good in the sack. She strikes me as try-hard and competitive–she probably gets really into it.

      That being said, it’s too early in the morning to think about GOOP and Martin doing the nasty. Gross.

      • j. says:

        She kinda strikes me as the sort of woman who’d go completely academic about it– read up on sex techniques and Cosmo articles about what’s “supposed” to feel awesome, do everything in them, and declare herself a veritable sex goddess because she followed the instructions.

    • UsedToBeLulu says:

      *snicker*

    • MistyNinja says:

      Hahaha. You made me spit all over my laptop.

  12. Eleonor says:

    I seriously doubt Goop is capable to have an orgasm.

    • Sloane Wyatt says:

      C’mon, that’s just mean! (And deliciously bitchy.) Gwynnie gets hers, I’m sure. Yet, I don’t really want to think about exactly how she goes about her ‘business’.

      • MistyNinja says:

        Alone, looking into a mirror or looking at one of her magazine covers. I don’t believe these two like each other enough to get down and dirty.

  13. Kate says:

    I don’t know, she used to be regularly papped leaving stores like Coco de Mer (upmarket sex shop) with a ton of bags. And given some of the stories she’s told she’s obviously no prude. Plus she managed to hold Affleck’s attention for quite a while during his hard partying days…I’d say her looks could be deceiving.

    • lucy says:

      Those gifts were always for friends in attempt to show how wild she is, she ain’t and Chris knows it. He is still in love with Natalie Umbriglia and fools around but everyone likes him, not her so they don’t care and she is the biggest fame by association person ever so just blackmailing Chris in to even being with her at all. Trust me, he’s a total sweet hot flirt, with her…no no no chemistry at all.

    • cs says:

      I believe Ben hooked up with GOOP cuz she was the “it Girl” in HW during and after Brad and her HW connections, nothing sexual.. I never thought Ben was into her especially after his BFF Matt Damon made a comment that Ben was acting like a giddy school boy hooking up with JLO… Never heard Matt comment on the Ben and GOOP hook-up.
      Bottom line GOOp couldn’t land HW’s hottest males at the time and she got hold of an unattractive, inexperienced sexually Rock guy..

      Yes, I don’t think Chis Martin is cute.. He’s rather ugly. It’s his eyes unfortunately Apple got his eyes.. But she’s cute.. I can’t hate with children. I think she will be a beautiful adult.

    • Bijlee says:

      This is actually an appropriate response. Not sure what you meant to write, but it works.

  14. Hubbahun says:

    **gags**

    Her: Missionary, staring over his shoulder

    Him: Three strokes and done.

    That is all.

  15. Gia says:

    She’s too obsessed with perfection not to be good in bed! It’s usually the ones you’d least expect. That’s what I think. Slutty dressed girls who never stop talking about sex often turn out to hate it, but use it as a means to lure guys in and then stop giving it out.

    • Jayna says:

      LOL So true.

    • Suckmyfarts says:

      Totally true! She’s also pretty confident about her toned body so I wouldn’t be surprised if this was true!
      Confident people are usually good in bed!

      • tina says:

        Not when they are narcissists and ego maniacs like she is. Plus her eating disorder is attempt to stay a child, not a sexual real woman.

  16. grabbyhands says:

    You took the words right out of my mouth because I came in to say that he probably DOESN’T think she’s dynamite in bed, but she’s telling everyone that he does.

    Gross.

  17. Jacqueline says:

    But sure, she has the butt of a 22-year-old stripper and she has a “full bush” and she loves to go down on her husband in the middle of a fight.

    When you put it that way, she does sound a little freaky.

  18. doofus says:

    quick, everyone get offended because her erect nips are visible through her dress!

    • V4Real says:

      I really wouldn’t mind nips shinning through but just not on Gwyn; I do not find her attractive at all.

      • doofus says:

        truth be told, I don’t either, but a LOT of folks on this site seem to be horribly offended by other women’s nips, so I was just playing along.

  19. annaloo. says:

    I imagine that sex with her would be like having sex with crushed ice? Freezing, bland, and waterworks when the deed is done.

  20. Jade says:

    Eh maybe it was translation in error. Maybe he was talking about her colon-cleansing habits to his mates and he said “I’d rather eat a dynamite than get addicted to colon-cleansing crap”. Something liddat.

  21. Dorothy says:

    TMI in the worst way!!!

  22. Helvetica says:

    Why is it gross if they have a good sex life? I don’t get the title of this article. There is nothing wrong with married people having good sex. It’s ideal.

    • Sloane Wyatt says:

      Agreed, good married sex, especially after years of marriage, is like the finest aged wine.

      However, with her frequent and enthusiastic oversharing, our Goop’s opened the door to us peasants derisively speculating on her sex life.

      • j. says:

        “[W]ith her frequent and enthusiastic oversharing, our Goop’s opened the door to us peasants derisively speculating on her sex life.”

        That is an absolutely perfect way to put it.

  23. JL says:

    I’m sure it’s lip smacking organically good. I don’t care, but more power to them.

    At least they’re married, raising a family and pretty stable. I’m all for EVERYONE having some good sex.

  24. Part-time Snarker says:

    I’m actually floored by how much prettier GOOP looks when she’s hanging casually with friends than when she’s all dolled up for a big Hollywood event.

  25. Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

    Goop simply must do a webinar on how to give an organic vegan BJ – now that would really help us peasants out!

  26. IrishGirl says:

    I get the feeling that Goop screams her own name during sex.

  27. Isabella says:

    I believe it. This actress has been so vilified in the media, but seeing her behavioral patterns she seems to be very giving when it comes to what she values (which is a bit different from what some of us value). It’s weird. I actually like her, even though she has come across as very arrogant. All I see is a human trying her best to live life like she thinks she should. Just a thought.

  28. Jennifer12 says:

    I kind of believe the great in the sack part, because she was with someone like Brad Pitt, who is amazingly sensual and probably taught her a lot. When I’m fighting with my husband, the last thing I want to do is stop and go down on him, so any wife who does that automatically gets a million bonus points in a guy’s mind.

  29. kim says:

    I think his friends already know how she is in bed…if you know what I mean?

  30. ParisPucker says:

    anybody is dynamite in the sack when you’re a virgin and have NO basis of comparison…

  31. Rita says:

    I think Gwyneth told Chris Martin’s friends she was dynamite in bed, then added in a whisper..”Pass it along”.

    ….or maybe when Chris said “She’s dynamite behind closed doors” he was talking about her bowel cleansing.

  32. Viv says:

    I think her BJ queen act works because all their fights are about her getting her way in something.

    Chris says she’s ‘dynamite’ behind closed doors,” spills an insider. “He jokes that she’s a lady everywhere but the bedroom.”

    This is so corny it sounds untrue, but then I realized it’s Chris Martin- he is corny enough to say it.

  33. UsedToBeLulu says:

    If it is true, than I am happy for them. There have been such nasty rumors about Chris’s wondering lips (dong). They have been together 9 years, so they must be doing something right. And Gwinnie does have a banging bod for sure. I highly doubt that she is anemic and vitamin deficient anymore. She was diagnosed by a doctor, and takes measure now. Has even said so.

  34. Suse says:

    they´ll divorce soon…

    • joan says:

      they are, that is why they are not “summering” (gag) in the Hamptons or in their new LA house this summer.

      • Bobbiesue says:

        Joan, you seem to be quite knowledgeable and sounds like some insider info given both your posts! JUICY!

        I was wondering why they weren’t in the Hamptoms too. Though, these rumors of divorce have been circulating for a while, and still nothing.

    • evelyn apricots says:

      They are in the Hamptons now (or at least last weekend). England’s school schedule runs late into July. They have been divorcing for as long as Jennifer Aniston has been pregnant. Give me a break!

  35. Aud says:

    They deserve each other. Can’t stand either of them. She is pretentious and he can’t sing [and he dances like a frog in a blender]. Together, they look like an Aryan poster couple.

    • Vesta says:

      “And he dances like a frog in a blender”

      This is priceless 🙂 🙂 (poor frog though)

      • thebutlerdidit says:

        You know the sound grasshoppers make when they rub their legs together? That’s what Goop’s bones sound like during sexy times.

  36. Ginger says:

    Yeesh! This is not the picture I wanted in my head this morning…those two in the sack. “Gross” indeed! Plus, I believe kissing and telling is low class.

  37. I Choose Me says:

    I actually buy that she might be great in bed. It’s the usually the uptight seeming ones that let their freak flag fly in bed.

  38. Deidre says:

    She’s, efficient, neat, quick.. pleased with time saved and little mess or fuss.. I give her that… so better to brag on whatever from her than have her whine and spend hours researching.. determined to try to improve and beg him to tell her all his secrets and comparisons of others, with great detail.. how to please him! Awkward

  39. Anais says:

    Wait, am I missing something? Isn’t he a rockstar? I find his near-virginity pre-Goop hard to believe. And people think he’s gross? Where have I been… I didn’t know that. I think he’s very attractive

  40. Sarah says:

    Trying to imagine two human forms of beige having sex… unurrfggh

  41. Emily C. says:

    People who actually have great sex don’t say things like “addicted to her body”, because great sex is not about what someone’s body looks like. Yuck.

  42. Quinn says:

    Blarf. I feel nauseous.

  43. dcypher1 says:

    There’s no such thing as humble bragging cus if she was really genuinely humble you would never Bragg about yourself like gwynie I don’t think she even knows what humble means.

  44. violet says:

    Boy they are trying way too hard. She has him kissing her bum to offset bad PR she caused. He has been with many woman, not with her in years…he loathes her. Trying to fix image. Anyway who has been around the knows she is a phony asexual bore and he plays on her in exchange for staying together for her image. He is still okay. She is a total phony using bitch.

    • Leah says:

      I am not sure how that was meant to make him sound ok. He sounds like an a-hole too if what you are saying is true.

      • lidsay says:

        Because he is giving her what she wants (good for image) because they have kids. He sticks around for the kids, but she is okay with his cheating except jealous when younger or famous. So they have an arrangement. Why he isn’t a jerk is that he is a really nice guy….and she is a well… witch.

  45. snappyfish says:

    one look at goop’s “dancing” tells me this is not true.

  46. lucy says:

    And Gwyneth is 100 percent behind this rumor. The s_it is getting ready to hit the well deserved fan on Gwynnie soon. Why do you think think she did not go to the Hamptons as she does EVERY summer or move to her new home in LA as planned? There is so much on this witch that is coming out soon and I can not wait. She has run all over people I know for decades, is a total user, phony and well worse and it is coming out. Chris is just around to try to shelter kids from when it hits. He loathes her and even Brad complained to all his friends how awful she was in bed…that he only used her to score good pot. She is nonsexual and a little gay, that’s it and Chris is trapped by her or she will slay him in divorce. Poor kids, they are already exhibiting signs of emotiona distress since their Mom’s last PR tour and the embarrassment it caused them – under shrink’s care since, especially Apple. God help them.

    • Bobbiesue says:

      WOWZA!!!

    • littlestar says:

      Ummmm okay… & how do you claim to know all of this?

      • Moi says:

        Lucy doesn’t know anything factual. *rolling eyes*

      • linda says:

        I can vouch for Lucy, so can many in London, including myself. Their school has forbidden GOOP to defer from all mention of them in public. But many of us know and it’s true and really quite sad. As much as Gwyneth is disliked by the group of non-celebs she is forced to deal with none of us are happy about what is going on with the kids. The issues are serious and hopefully will pass. Not everyone that knows them or has mutual friends is lying, it’s insulting. And all you have to do if you are really really bored is do some fact checking on the school but they won’t give anything up. The people I and others know just don’t name specifics because in my case many who are so anti Gwyn work with/for her and have signed clauses…unlike GP, we don’t sell out our friends or get them in trouble. Think the kids will turn out okay hopefully, but believe me ever since they started living in THREE connecting houses in London years ago they have been over. And there are a lot of other sources besides Vanity Fair plus GP’s team is planting items all over, even in the rags, they bought her People Cover…you think she/they are above spreading this kind of stuff? Don’t be naive.

      • Lucy says:

        Actually, Linda and I were both telling the truth. Miss Priss just announced they were moving back to LA (after Linda just said school in London didn’t want to be affiliated with them – the children were not invited back to school in London because of Gwyneeth’s behaviour and everything i said on this subject and the Brad thing were true too. I see why they call this the celebitchy site…why did you call us liers and do your little eyeroll thing? We were telling the truth, come on…but go ahead. Time tells, and we not the GP press machine and her 4 remaining fans…defend her all you want but don’t call us liars when we arent’. So we were proven right in this petty little waste of time but I hope you learned that not everyone who doesn’t worship GOOP monster is not awful or jealous or liars – that’s not the case. There are many wonderful celebs out there and I have NEVER said one bad word about any other one, nor have my friends that have because they have had the displeasure of knowing her for decades. So Good bye and I don’t mean to be mean to you but it’s not nice to insult other commentators on these sites. I didn’t insult those who disagreed with me, nor did any of the others (the vast majority if you noticed) that doubt this article and all of Gwyneth’s BS by now) No need for us here to argue over something so stupid anyway, let’s all lighten up already and don’t do the “eye roll” thing on us anymore. We were right so stop rolling your eyes on us Gwyneth or whoever called Linda and I and some others liars. Thanks.

      • Claire says:

        Please more Lucy and Linda!! The inside goss is what makes this website so great! Please come back!!

    • evelyn apricots says:

      There have been reports that the Martin’s are in the Hamptons now (or at least this past week). Are you alluding to the upcoming September Vanity Fair article that many are predicting is a GP smear piece?

    • Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

      The insider information is always the most interesting perspective on the celebs – how the image and real life don’t always match 🙂

    • evelyn apricots says:

      Reasons I believe this to be true:

      1. No matter how much CM does not want his marriage to be put on public view, a husband would come to his wife’s rescue after the PR backlash Gwyneth received this past spring. If anytime a well-staged, tender moment photo op is needed is after that debacle. It didn’t happen. He is not even willing to risk his reputation for his wife. I don’t believe he loves her.

      2. A solo CM was photographed coming out of a charity function with his left hand in his pocket. I saw a stream of pictures from him walking on a lone street to his car, to being in the middle of a partying crowd outside the event. The rowdy crowd of men were taking group photos, cheering and general celeb revelry. Arms were being thrown over shoulders, and hands were in the air. But you know what? Chris’ left hand was still firmly in his pocket. I believe he wasn’t wearing his ring, and was attending the event as a single man.

      3. GP referred to their parenting style as co-parenting. She doesn’t seem to be the type to misuse words. Co-parenting describes a parenting situation where the parents are not in a romantic relationship with one another.

      4. GP said she lets her husband do whatever he wants. Why? She doesn’t care what he is doing. (Full disclosure: I knew I wanted a divorce when I no longer cared what my ex-husband was doing.)

      I believe GP and CM love their children and are doing everything they can to hold some resemblance of an intact family. But, the arrangement may have worked while the kids were younger, but now that the kids are older it sounds like the arrangement is beginning to effect the kids (based on Linda and Lucy’s comments).

      Everything that I have read, Bruce Paltrow set GP up for a lifetime of unhappiness. No one is ever going to love and dote on GP the way her father did. I kind of feel sorry for GP.

  47. Twez says:

    She’d have to be.

  48. whateveryouwantittobe says:

    Imagining these two stringbeans having sex is like imagining my grandparents doing it. ICK!!! I can not believe GP could really enjoy it.

  49. jemshoes says:

    Ewww! 🙂 My fault for clicking into the story over toast and coffee!

  50. Trashaddict says:

    Please. I’m eating here.

  51. Onyx XV says:

    I find that SO very difficult to believe… and like others have pointed out – if it’s that good, ain’t nobody talkin’ bout it!

  52. Moi says:

    I actually believe this. She’s a dirty minded bitch, if you focus on a lot of what she has said over the years. GP honestly has a tough time filtering her dirty mind into PC proper quotes at times. I love her for that.

  53. Bobbiesue says:

    The thing I find most unsettling about Gwyneth is her bashing her mother. There were some strange dynamics in that house (or houses) growing up.

    • catt says:

      I believe that because Gwyneth’s Dad doted on and worshipped her so much her mother had to play the role of the strict parent and be the one who says no and sets boundaries and spoiled Gwyneth didn’t like that!

  54. Denise says:

    Chris Martin probably hadn’t been with many women before they started up? A front man for one of the biggest bands in the world? Wha????

  55. Lady D says:

    Some of the funniest comments I’ve read in a long, long time. Not being a fan of goop, I usually just bypass articles about her. So glad I decided to read them.

    • Darlene says:

      I know my friends and I have been siting here reading and emailing this and we are laughing like crazy. What a time waster, we are signing off but this has been fun and we could not resist. I mean Miss Paltrow Martin (hee hee) is just so obvious and desperate she will resort to anything for attention!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sickening thing though is why is this plain selfish bore rewarded so much in this life? Oh well, time to sign out cause when that occurred to us we started getting kind of bummed. She does have that effect on people, but that is her goal to make us feel inferior to her so better not to let her do it and go forget about her and do something nice for somebody instead. The next GP PR deluge will be here in no time because she will make sure of that…:-0

  56. Bird says:

    Linda and Lucy- can you give us a hint as to what kind of sh*t will be hitting the fan and when? And are the kids just upset about them being supposedly split up, or something else? I just don’t see how such young kids would be upset over a pr tour for a cookbook.

    One more question – why didn’t Pitt dump her sooner, and How did such a big movie star so desperately need a good weed hookup?

    If you know this much info, I am honestly begging you for more!!

  57. Bird says:

    Oooh- one more thing- did she cheat with Viggo Mortinson or Harvey Weinstein?