Back in the early days of Gwyeth Paltrow’s Goop, I remember that every other newsletter was a Goop-tastic recommendation for some kind of asinine juice cleanse or fast or Master Cleanse or whatever. Gwyneth just seemed like she was constantly “cleansing” or fasting, which is just a fancy way of saying that she had an eating disorder and she highly recommended fancy, expensive eating disorders to peasants. At some point, it did feel like Gwyneth stopped recommending “cleanses” although her last cookbook did seem to border on some very extreme elimination dieting (although Gwyneth later claimed she wasn’t really recommending elimination diets, except that was exactly what It’s All Good was). Meanwhile, throughout the years, Gwyneth has grown more and more vitamin deficient, even developing anemia and osteoporosis, and she doesn’t see how all of that is connected. And she still thinks she’s so brilliant for giving all of the peasants her dieting wisdom. Well, now Goop hath spoken again.

The brilliance of her business partner Tracy Anderson: “Keep up consistent exercise. I am dedicated to the Tracy Anderson Method and it has completely changed my body. Still, when I first started working with Tracy, finding motivation was hard. She advised me to think of exercise as an automatic routine, no different from brushing your teeth, to avoid getting distracted. Now it is part of my life.”

Her exercise regime: “I exercise Monday to Friday at 10am and always stick with it. I’d also recommend concentrating on moving more – we sit for so much of the day. Choose to walk or take the stairs, or briskly climb a hill in the evenings. It creates good muscle tone and boosts your metabolism.”

The dangers of cleanses: “A detox is a great place to start before a diet. My doctor, Alejandro Junger, recommends a detox once a year to rid organs of processed food and environmental toxins. His theory is that the gut (your system of digestive organs) is the root of good health. It contains about 80 per cent of your body’s serotonin – which regulates appetite – so you’re more likely to lose weight when it’s working properly. This year I chose the Elimination Diet, which meant no additives or processed foods for three weeks. I’ve done juice cleanses in the past, and in my twenties I did the Master Cleanse, which left me hallucinating after 10 days. Be aware: a juice detox can crash your metabolism and lead to future weight gain.”

Don’t weigh yourself: “There is something punitive about weighing yourself. It can leave you vulnerable to shame and guilt, and it messes with you psychologically. Women naturally gain and lose weight during their monthly cycle anyway, so it can be more realistic to monitor your body shape with a measuring tape.”

Again, she still smokes one cigarette a week: “Stay away from processed foods, though cutting them out completely is no fun and can ultimately lead to a binge. Allow yourself programmed treats – I often have a glass of red wine in the evening and smoke a cigarette on a Saturday. I love those moments because they are just the right amount of naughty. That balance keeps you vibrant. You have to live your life, after all.”

[From The Telegraph via The Mail]

I’m still stuck on the whole idea that she thought she was having a stroke or something and she went to the doctor and was diagnosed with anemia and severe vitamin deficiency and somehow she made that into “go on a cleanse… starve yourself some more.” I also think it’s weird/funny/typical Goop that she adds the caveat “a juice detox can crash your metabolism and lead to future weight gain.” OH, because that’s the reason to avoid nonsensical cleanses. Because it might make you gain a few pounds once you gorge yourself after your nonsensical cleanse. Goop’s Very Special Message To Peasants: “Everybody should cleanse once a year because of GOOP SCIENCE but don’t come crying to Goop when you gain a few pounds after you get sick as a dog on your cleanse and have to go back to normal food.”

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.