Sharon Stone wants you to know that her magnificent beauty is simply a fluke of her incredible bone structure. Her whole body just hangs off those cheekbones (bonus points if you know that reference). Sharon covers the new issue of New You Magazine, a magazine I’ve never really heard of or cared about. Sharon talks about aging naturally, which… I don’t know. I used to think Sharon was natural. Then many of you told me that she goes to a great plastic surgeon in France and now I kind of see the work. If she gets work done, I applaud her for getting “small” work and not doing anything drastic or ridiculous. But yeah, I don’t think she’s aging naturally. She thinks she is, though. Some highlights from the magazine:

She’s never had a facelift: “I can’t tell you how many doctors try to sell me a face lift. I’ve even gone as far as having someone talk me into it, but when I went over and looked at pictures of myself, I thought, What are they going to lift? Yes, I have come close — but, frankly, I think that in the art of aging well there’s this sexuality to having those imperfections. It’s sensual.”

On plastic surgery: “If you have things that you want to fix, you should go right ahead and fix them. I don’t think there is anything wrong with cosmetic surgery at all. I think it’s great. But I don’t think it’s alright to distort yourself. You can’t treat an illness with cosmetic surgery, and that’s why it would be great if there were qualified therapists in plastic surgeons’ offices, and that people would go to a therapeutic meeting before plastic surgery. I think that should be part of the FDA requirement.”

Turning 50: “Realize that when you are ‘middle aged’ you have a chance for a whole second career, another love, another life. You may be sick of what you did the first half of your life, but you don’t just have to walk around and play golf or do nothing. We’re too young for that. It’s not like 50 is the new 30. It’s like 50 is the new chapter. We know so much at this age, and people realize we’re the ones with experience. We’re a very colorful generation that is leading once again.”

She has amazing cheekbones: “People are afraid of changing; that they’re losing something. They don’t understand that they are also gaining something. I thought I lost the deep vortex on my eyelid that you have when you’re younger, but I gained almost a kind of beautiful abyss. As I lost the fullness in my face, I got in these great cheekbones.”

She loves gourmet sex: “As women, we understand our bodies, and there’s a blossoming that occurs (with sex). We’re hungry for gourmet meals instead of the fast food. We bring to life a more expansive understanding of life, ourselves, and others. We are more generous and assertive.”

Her philosophy for healthy living: “It begins with a state of mind. I think that many people try to make everything as difficult as they possibly can. You should try to take the philosophy of: What if it’s just easy? If you give up all the resistance and go ahead and forgive, resolve your issues, open your heart, stay in your compassion, sleep when you are supposed to sleep, eat when you are supposed to eat, exercise when you are supposed to exercise, show up on time for your jobs, keep your agreements, and live in your truth, you will have a healthy life.”

[From The Mail]

Well… I mean, Sharon has always been like this. She’s like a “Cougar self-help book” mixed with a self-absorbed drag queen mixed with Deepak Chopra. I actually kind of liked what she said about 50 being a “new chapter” and stuff, but all of the humble-bragging gets on my nerves. But that’s probably because I’m so incredibly beautiful, insightful, generous, compassionate, sexual and brilliant. Even more so than Sharon, obviously. My whole body just hangs off these cheekbones. I’m like Mahatma Gandhi in the body of a supermodel. WHAT?

Photos courtesy of New You.