Madonna’s in ‘love therapy’, Kabbalah-style

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The British tabloids began reporting that Madonna is in “therapy”, and now the American press has picked up the story. But this “therapy” that Madonna is allegedly receiving is from some Kabbalah guy that is going to help repair her “tikkun” (more on that later). The British tabloids are spinning it like Madonna is suddenly vulnerable and that she’s realized she might have been too dominating with Guy Ritchie. As if. As if Madonna would be vulnerable, as if she would ever see her marriage as “dominating” Guy, as if she would ever think “dominating” a man would be a bad thing.

Reports in a British paper are claiming that a therapist is helping Madonna to improve her relationships with men.

The Daily Mirror claims that the recently divorced superstar thinks that her problem with guys, and indeed Guy, is that she’s too “domineering” (surely not!).

So, the paper says, she’s working with a Kabbalah love guru to find a way to chill out a little in her romances.

Apparently they’ve already figured out that the problem is that her tikkun is all screwed up — but New York rabbi Philip Berg is said to be on the case.

“Madonna has been having a tough time with Kabbalah in the wake of her and Guy’s split,” says the paper’s source.

“Whenever she’s in New York, she’s taken to having intense private sessions with rabbi Berg, working on her tikkun.”

From OK! Magazine

So, I googled “tikkun” and I found that what I thought was a slang for “gristly man-arms” is actually a Hebrew phrase that means “repairing the world”. This definition does not give me peace of mind, however. Does Madonna think it’s her duty (or her place) to repair the world? And how does one repair the world by working out five hours a day? Does the world not get repaired if you have 10% body fat?

This Kabbalah guy has his work cut out for him if he thinks he can get Madonna to chill out even a little bit in her relationships. But what the tabloids are spinning as “love therapy” is most likely just Madonna’s standard Kabbalah studies, which I believe she still adheres to quite regularly.

Madonna is shown outside the Waverly Inn on 1/10/09. Credit: Bauergriffin (header) and Splash (below)

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25 Responses to “Madonna’s in ‘love therapy’, Kabbalah-style”

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  1. maytal says:

    ok, just some clarification: tikkun olam is a concept from jewish tradition that refers to repairing the world through good deeds….noone’s tikkun can be ‘messed up’…jewish tradition teaches that, even though the world can be a flawed and messed up place, through good deeds, or commandments (mitzvot) we all can help repair it, make it a holier place. the phrase was clearly taken out of context.

  2. Ohforf says:

    I wonder which of the many steps to enlightenment is the one that goes “Commit adultery and lie about it to help protect your career”.

  3. photo jojo says:

    Maytal, I think most thinking people can separate Kabbalah and Judaism. At least I hope. 🙂

    Madonna is nuttier than squirrel poop.

  4. ll says:

    One more reason I hate kabbalah as a pseudo religion – giving license for everyone to make fun of Jewish concepts & traditions as perverted by people like Madonna.

  5. Jessica says:

    Is it me or is Madonna starting to look like the comedienne Judy Tenuta???

  6. Bobby the K says:

    ~

    Out of curiosity, I was wondering what the average Jewish person thinks of Kabbalah.

    Is it taken seriously? Revered? Is there a difference in attitude about it among Reform, Orthodox etc.?

  7. maytal says:

    can’t tell you what the average jewish person’s position about kabbalah is, but i can tell you that the people i know separate kabbalah as the mystic tradition within judaism from that new age-y concoction which is now being passed as true kabbalah by the bergs.

  8. maytal says:

    @photo jojo… here’s hoping! 🙂

  9. morgs says:

    I’m sure Rabbi Berg will “help” her through. I think that man might have her so twisted in the head. A lot of the articles surrounding her are about how she adheres to anything Berg or other kabbalist rabbi say.
    Its for money. She’s the perfect cash cow. Much like scientology it seems, in the manner of, if you want to become more enlightened you better pay some money and we’ll see how “enlightened” we can get you this go-round.

  10. morgs says:

    Plus, she and sharon stone both have the same restalyn filled cheekbones. They are both seriously starting to resemble Cruella DeVille. I’m sorry, but it is not attractive for a 50 yr old woman to have a face that rivals a twenty-somthing’s. It makes her look like a grotesque doll.

  11. Rio says:

    That HAND! Gah, that’s terrifying!

  12. vdantev says:

    Rio: Nothing can stop The CLAW !!

  13. RReedy says:

    I think Madonna has some real guilt and shame issues. Why else spend so much time working on her religious “self” what ever that is. Berg is her Rasputin.

  14. orion70 says:

    is it just me or is she really starting to resemble that guy in “Saw” ?

  15. OXA says:

    Madonna is looking like Wayland Flowers puppet Madame.

  16. kate says:

    i think the only person madge can really love is herself.

  17. Me2 says:

    Bobby: it’s kind of like the difference between the religion of Islam and the Nation of Islam.

  18. Papsmear Hilton says:

    Yoohoo, Kate! I think I love you. Will you be my new BFF?

    Love and kisses,
    Papsmear err Paris Hilton xoxo

  19. Madge says:

    To all you beotches that are hatin’ on me: In case you haven’t noticed, the first picture has me coming out of a high colonic. That’s why I look like there’s something rammed up my ass. In the second picture, my hands are older than I am. Excuse me for livin’!! Nobody is more perfect and famous than I am, so lick it up, baby! Lick it up!

    Toodles,
    Madge err Madonna

  20. Ter says:

    I have only this to say – The woman has ruined her face.

  21. Amy says:

    I would agree with you, Ter, but she never had a good-looking face to begin with. Madonna is the world’s most successful con artist, convincing people she is actually a singer / songwriter(nope, just hired great producers)and is some kind of iconic beauty (nope, just hired a decent makeup artist).

  22. Baholicious says:

    Kabbalah ‘proper’ – or Jewish mysticism – is only for study by men, as is the Torah. It’s a school of thought on the esoterics of the Torah and Jewish law.

    Madonna cannot study Kabbalah because a) she’s not a Jew – she hasn’t converted and; b)she’s a woman.

    Which means Madonna is full of shit, as per usual. She’s just involved in some new-agey nonsense that cherry-picks from Kabbalah to lure rich and famous dupes who’ll donate scads of money to their self-help racket.

  23. Ted says:

    The question is not IF there will be an interdiction of Obama’s Presidency by the Supreme Court, the questions are WHEN and HOW that interdiction will transpire — that is, if the USA is to continue as the Constitutional Republic that now exists.

  24. vdantev says:

    Ted- wrong topic and wrong website. You want fark.com 🙁

  25. josie says:

    good for u Madge, why don’t all u bitches just leave her alone. she looks hot hot hot, anyone know what the red bracelet is all about?