As we covered yesterday, Gwyneth Paltrow made a very special appearance at the East Hampton Library’s Authors Night, a charity event in which “authors” signed copies of their books as a way to raise money for the library. Because Dame Goop is an “author” now, the same as Joyce Carol Oates and Joan Didion, right? Right. Anyway, it seems like the real authors (cough) were not all that pleased that Gwyneth deigned to goop away in their peasanty presence. Of course, the shade was verbose and at least one writer needed a good fact-checker.

Gwyneth Paltrow was a huge draw at East Hampton Library’s Authors Night — but also drew the ire of her fellow writers, who took their revenge with pungent meat products. Paltrow, a vegan, was there with her Coldplay rocker hubby Chris Martin and kids Moses and Apple to promote her impossibly virtuous cookbook “It’s All Good.”

Author Christina Oxenberg — who sat next to Paltrow signing copies her own book “Life Is Short” — wrote on her blog, “Due to the inflexibility of the alphabet, I had the questionable good fortune to be seated directly beside [Paltrow] . . . Slowly yet unmistakably a line began to form in front of my section of table. These folks were hushed and reverential and had a particularly earnest and focused demeanor and casting furtive eyes around . . . the increasingly urgent question they posed, ‘Where is Gwyneth?’ . . . Then the divinity in question arrived with hubby, children and a couple of massive bodyguards. The worshippers blocked my view of the whole world.” Oxenberg said she abandoned her post and headed to the food table and loaded up on “sloppy hamburgers” and “stinky steak sandwiches.”

Then, “Gwyneth’s bodyguards blocked my re-entry despite my assurance I was just an author and pointing at my name tag. ‘No!’ they growled, body blocking me. So I was forced to crawl under the table. And there I sat with my meat products, wafting the excellent smells toward my sleek vegan neighbor. She ignored the siren smells of protein. We never did say hello, although I did try to sell my book to her sleek vegan children. No bites.”

Fellow author and attendee Jay McInerney tweeted of Oxenberg’s post: “Authors Night at East Hampton Library hijacked by movie stars with ghost-written cookbooks.”

[From Page Six]

Well, Gwyneth isn’t vegan (anymore). Her latest cookbook is all about the elimination diet (or the Goop version of it), but when she’s not eliminating carbs and juice fasting, I’m pretty sure that Gwyneth still eats meat. Her first cookbook had recipes for duck ragu, for the love of Goop. But everything else… love it. Of course Gwyneth brought bodyguards to a charity book-signing. What if the peasants tried to touch her?!!??! And what if a real author tried to speak to Dame Goop?! That would have been horrible. Also: Jay McInerney’s “ghost-writer” shade is perfection.

Photos courtesy of WENN.