When domestic violence happens to a celebrity, as in the case of Rihanna and now Camille Grammer, it brings it home how prevalent and how serious it is, especially when there are shocking photos that show the extent of the abuse.
On Monday, Camille Grammer sent out tweets that hinted that she was physically abused, most likely by her longterm boyfriend, although she didn’t name names at first. CDAN went through Grammer’s tweets, and the way they interpreted it, she wanted to share her horrific experience, but she needed to be coaxed to do it.
The story is that Camille had surgery for early stage endometrial cancer two weeks ago. She had a hysterectomy, which is major surgery, not laparoscopic. About two days later, while she was recovering in a hotel room in Houston, her boyfriend Dimitri Charalambopoulos beat her up. Radar has photos, and they show Camille’s battered face, her broken iPhone, and a clump of hair torn from her head in the struggle. Warning on those photos, but if you want to see them, go to the Camille Grammer category on Radar Online. (For some reason the direct link they give to the photos just redirects to their homepage.)
Camille has since sought and received a restraining order against Dimitri. In her court declaration, which Radar has in its entirety, Camille says that the fight started when she questioned Dimitri about a text message he received at 1:30 in the morning from another woman. That doesn’t matter, because there’s no excuse in the world for what happened next. Camille states that in an attack which lasted between 40 minutes to an hour, Dimitri repeatedly bashed her head into the bed’s headboard, pinched her nose shut, pinned her down by sitting on her (remember she just had surgery) and threatened her. He then destroyed all her phones and told her that he would “knock her out” if she left the room after he did.
About three minutes after Dimitri left, Camille went down to the hotel lobby to seek help and contact the police. The police came and took a statement. After that, she returned to her surgeon at the hospital to get an emergency examination to check for internal bleeding, particularly to her surgical site.
This makes me wonder how long this has been happening to Camille. She’s been with Dimitri for about two years. Were there signs and did he use physical intimidation for a while before he attacked her so horribly? (“Allegedly”) I was reviewing old stories to see when they first started dating, and in early 2012 Camille called Dimitri “a wonderful boyfriend who is kind and even tempered.” Sometimes people turn on a dime. I hope Camille is ok and that she has friends and family around her. Radar claims she’s hired 24/7 bodyguards to protect her from Dimitri.
Camille and Dimitri are shown above on 9-20-13. They’re also shown at evens in May, 2012 and in candids in September and October, 2012. Credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet
I don’t follow the doings of Camille Grammar but the few times I’ve ever noticed a photo of her with the boyfriend, I always did think that there was something creepy and icky about him. She does have dodgy taste in men, though. Look at her ex-husband.
All that said, I am sorry for her and hope that she’s ok. Doesn’t she have some sort of bowel issue too? She’s pretty but it seems that she has a lot of health issues. That’s a shame.
SMH
That is absolutely horrifying. I hope they arrest and throw this woman-beating jerk into jail.
Goofy looking S.O.B.
Why wasn’t he arrested for assault ?
Good question.
I’m in shock as I got the impression from watching RH that he was a mellow guy.
Abuse is always awful but when you’re vulnerable after major surgery it must be even more frightening. I imagine she must have feared for her life.
Agreed.
That’s terrible. I haven’t kept up with her since she left Real Housewives. Funnily enough one if the reasons she was let go was her unwillingness to feature her relationship on camera. She was also threatening Dimitri’s ex gf.
I’m glad that she actually called the cops and reported him–this s.o.b. needs to go to jail. I’ve heard that she’s a nasty person, but no one deserves this kind of treatment–especially when he was in the wrong. He’s the one who’s probably cheating on her.
This is just awful. But she did the smart thing by seeking help. I hope she recovers soon.
Its so typical of them to strike when the person is down, sadly. My mom still chokes up when she tries to even begin telling how after her c-section, my dad would not ‘wait’ and let her body heal. She would be raped while still bearing stitches and would bleed profusely and be in intense pain.
As horrifying as it is, something about the needs of a person at that time, seems to set them off and turn them doubly violent and cruel. In some way they might be jealous of the attention their recovery deserves, in others they might fear their needs because they cant fulfill them, or they also may be resentful of that persons weakness and pain because it reminds them of their own- which as a child, they likely could never show or express, either…. so they attack the person in pain to make themselves feel better.
If this has happened, it means he was abusive to her in all other ways since the beginning and that this was just a particularly large incident worth reporting.
I hope Camille can figure out why she was trapped by his tricks and not fall for those tricks ever again. And I hope this guy gets punished in some way so that he doesnt set the example of getting away with assaulting an innocent person (‘just because of a lovers spat’)
Thank you for this insightful, honest post.
I love the remarks that put the bitchy in Celebitchy and I also really appreciate the times that folks are as honest and genuine and thought-provoking as you are here.
I wish you and your mom well.
I agree. Especially about wishing you and your mom the best.
Excellent insight into how someone could do this. I hope he’s arrested and prosecuted. Hope Camille is ok.
Thank you so much for sharing. How awful.
I’m so sorry that your Mom went through such hell. I agree with your comments about abusers striking when a person is down. It’s the mindset of going after the weak, and those who cannot defend themselves such as children and animals. In a way I guess it’s bullying brought to the extreme. Bullies always seem to go after the ones that don’t or can’t fight back. They will never attack the ones they think may strike back.
Thank you for sharing what must be a most painful memory. I wish you and your mom the very best TeeHee.
Teehee, sending so much love to you and your mum. Thank you for sharing your experience and your bravery. xxx
Just goes to show that you can never judge a book by its cover. He looked pretty relaxed and friendly in public and on the show, but domestic violence goes on behind locked doors so you never know what’s happening. Glad she is getting the support she needs. He needs to be arrested.
You know, I have a feeling there is more to this story. This has always been an attention-seeking woman. I find it a bit odd that she tweeted about the incident. Not saying I don’t believe her, but…
I’m pretty sure she tweeted about it the day the court papers went public because it was going to get in the news and she wanted to confirm it rather than have the tabloids hound her with questions. It doesnt matter what her personality is, she is bruised and recovering from major surgery and nothing she did provoked this. You cannot force calm and level headed person to attack anyone particularly someone recovering from surgery. All I can think of is when my mom had a hysterectomy in the 90s and couldnt move for a few days and yet camille was trashed around in that condition. its heart breaking and scary.
This is some straight of victim-blaming nonsense. Even so called “attention seekers” can be victims of domestic violence. When people write what you have (and worse) , it contributes to why domestic violence is not taken seriously.
that is not at all what I am saying. I am just wondering if it’s really true.
@len
And that is the problem. That is exactly what people face when they report domestic violence. People like you who insist that are not victim blaming, but “are just wondering if it is true”. It is quite rare for someone to lie about being abused.
Completely agree. There is more to this story.
Yes. I am not ‘victim-blaming’. There is no excuse for abuse ever. I am just saying things may not be what they seem. What is so horrible about saying that? So when someone yells abuse we should just put the alleged abuser in jail, no trial? No hearing the other side at all? Because men DO get falsely accused and set up.
Did anyone suggest there not be a trial? No. The false accusations are rare.
@len: I’m sure there will be a trial where both sides will have same opportunity to present their versions. Also don’t forget the physical evidence.
Have a seat at the back of the room, Len.
+1
The pics on Radar are so dark it’s hard to see much of anything, although it is obvious she has some injuries. He does look like a sleaze.
I want to know why in the hell she was tweeting about this…that just turns me completely off.
“I want to know why in the hell she was tweeting about this…that just turns me completely off.”
This is exactly what I was wondering.
I hear you but sometimes reason doesn’t come into the reaction to an assault like this – maybe she just thought, the more people know, the more protected I am. Even strangers on Twitter – who have been known in the past to go the extra mile to seek help for strangers in situations like this. I don’t know Camille’s thought process, however, this is just an thought. xx
Maybe she’s frightened and just felt she would be safer if the world knew what he had done, because that would (one would hope) keep him away from her and tend to make people more watchful of her safety. This is a tough subject to talk about, I know this from personal experience, and you feel such a raw and confusing combination of emotions afterwards: you feel ashamed; you feel suddenly more vulnerable than ever before in your life; you begin to feel afraid for your very life; you feel wary of every single thing you do and everywhere you go, because he might turn up there and start something. You can’t sleep at night, and when you do, the dreams are dreadful and so violent they wake you up. This can go on for years.
It takes a long time to figure out who you are after this, and even longer to know what to do. You often tell no one (I only told my mother; to my friends I made goofy, “jokey” excuses for my bruises, and because I tend to have a goofy sense of humor anyway, my friends always believed me). It was years before I made it my job to research this subject, and when I did, I was astonished (and chilled) to find how cookie-cutter these abusive men are. Here are some of the characteristics I read about, and the M.O. they follow pretty universally (they really could have been describing the man in my life):
1. He begins as a romantic (more romantic than you’ve ever known), passionate, attentive lover.
2. He’s jealous of other men, but at first it’s flattering. Then this becomes suspicion, he dreams up ridiculous stories about other men he thinks you’re trying to attract. [examples: If you speak to another man at a dinner party, if you laugh at another man’s joke, he will whisper to you that you’re a whore, his fingers will press themselves around your arm as he leads you out of there.] He will grill you about every professor or colleague or neighbor: Do you want that guy? Has that guy “come on” to you? Well, he says, it’s only a matter of time, because that’s just the sort of woman you are.
3. He begins to isolate you from your friends and your family–at first it just seems like romantic closeness. But then you realize that every time a family member or a friend comes over to see you, he glowers, sulks, makes them uncomfortable. Pretty soon they stop coming over. No one has a clue that he has begun the cycle of abusing you–they just think your man doesn’t like them and you aren’t being very assertive in defending them to him.
4. He tells you how worthless you are, and he criticizes every single thing you do. Then the physical accompaniment to the verbal abuse begins: he holds your shoulders so that you can’t move, while he goes nose-to-nose with you and screams these criticisms and accusations at the top of his lungs…just as in Camille Grammer’s case, these men like to immobilize you, and they find many ways of doing it.]
5. Usually your first pregnancy coincides with the onset of this man’s more overt physical violence. They are jealous of the baby they have put inside you. (And Camille’s surgery similarly made her vulnerable and also made her the object of people’s attention–jealous, abusive men hate this, and they despise you for your infirmity–you were supposed to “be there” for them; suddenly you have to focus on yourself.) Just when you deserve (and need) your partner to be physically considerate of you, he begins to hurt you physically, beginning in “small” ways (not that there are really any “small” ways–all of them are significant). They squeeze you till you bruise, throw things at your head, twist your arms. [In my case, it started with his putting my arm behind my back in a police-style arm-lock and pressing it upward behind my back until it felt like it would snap off–always for no reason at all, not even an argument was in progress. Then he “progresses” to pushing you, knocking you down, throwing you into walls or bathtubs or sharp pieces of furniture. Often he refrains from “hitting” or “punching” you so that he can say he never hit you. The cuts and bruises are often where others can’t see them. At first, anyway.
6. Then after the violence comes the “romancing” and “contrition” cycle: he apologizes in every sort of way: flowers, profusely apologetic letters, compliments, extravagant proclamations of love, gifts (expensive ones that you hate because of what they mean, so you never use them).
7. And then you unwittingly mess up again (get home from work half an hour late; begin a class with a male professor; go somewhere with girlfriends (omg, that really gets to them), and it all starts up again.
8. One day, out of nowhere, he’s “in a mood” and you don’t realize it until you ask him a random question or say the wrong thing, and suddenly he’s got a gun pointed at you. He tells you he’s going to kill you and then kill himself. I don’t even want to go on with this part.
At some point (usually it takes far too long, because by now you are caught in a cycle of self-loathing, shame, embarrassment, and downright fear) you use his violence to give you the emotional energy to leave. You can ONLY do this if you do a 180 on your former silence and tell everyone you know about what has been going on. Then you know (or think) that maybe you’re safer, because it’s no longer a secret that he has trapped you in. If CG has been going through some version of all this and has used social media to mention it, it’s just some version of telling everyone she knows so that she’ll be safer. It’s embarrassing to say this, but you almost HAVE to blow his cover to your friends and family because that pretty much ensures that you won’t go back to him, no matter how he pleads and courts you (and he will, because it’s part of keeping his control of you)…and once everyone in your life has been told, you know that going back to him is out of the question. Sometimes that’s the only way to protect yourself from him, and from yourself.
Apologies for the length of this post–it seems like once you start talking about this subject, you can’t stop.
Thank you for posting this. It IS scary how similar the patterns are, I’ve had two close friends go through very similar circumstances; one has now left her abusive partner, the other is still convinced he can change. In both cases the men have followed very similar patterns to what you described, with slow escalation punctuated by periods of ‘good’ behaviour.
To those that are saying ‘he seemed so laid back’ etc, that is how they trick you. The abusive men I know are handsome, articulate, educated and charming. They are very good at what they do, and most people will never catch on. It seems unless you know what to look for you are most likely to miss the small warning signs.
Exactly why I was always convinced Kelsey Grammer abused her. He’s nuts.
No, I don’t believe Kelsey ever physically abused her. Camille was spilling all of Kelsey’s dirty secrets when he left her and never once did she say he hit her. She would have for sure because she was telling everything else. In fact, with all of Kelsey’s checkered past with women and all the bad things they say about him in the way he cruelly dumps them, his drug issues, etc., I don’t remember one ever saying he hit her.
So awful. I wonder if this guy is even an American citizen?? If not, I hope they deport his a$$!
This is funny to me. You probably weren’t making a joke, but the question about his citizenship is the stuff of comedy. Is it because he’s got a long, Greek last name? Like, he (or his parents and his parents’ parents) couldn’t be Americans of Greek descent?
I don’t get why this guy hasn’t been arrested. If this is true, he should go to jail. Did a search and not one word about charges. Anyone know what’s happening?
Yeah, I don’t understand why he wasn’t arrested that night. What is going on? It seems odd that he wouldn’t be arrested the moment the police saw her injuries and took her statement. Maybe she wasn’t going to press charges at first?? Not sure how all of it works.
Chrissy – see my post below. The police are probably getting a warrant ready for him.
I really know nothing about her except that she was married to Kelsey Grammar and he left for her another woman whom he married and had a child with. This is absolutely horrifying to read about. If this occurred in a hotel and went on for about 40 minutes, how did none of the other guests hear this? If they did, how did they not call the front desk for help?
Exactly. I would like to hear HIS side of the story. I think the 40 minutes was 40 minutes of Camille yelling at Dimitri and he had to hold her back.
You’re basing your suspicions on her story over the fact that other guests didn’t call to report a problem. Charles Sachii manhandled Nigella Lawson in full view of a restaurant full of staff and patrons, in full view of the street and not one person or the photographer snapping pictures called the police. It’s the age old excuse of not wanting to get involved.
Totally agree, TOM….When I was in a high school there was a girl cowering on the sidewalk between some oleanders while her boyfriend beat on her. People kept walking by and did nothing because everyone knew his reputation and didn’t want to get involved. Finally from the story that went round, somebody driving by drove up onto the car, got out and chased him off then chased him down. She ended up ok, but everyone was shocked how long it took a bystander to get involved.
In some countries, you are advised by the authorities to not get involved in domestic violence spats. This is for your own personal safety. By all means, call the police, but never ever intervene. In some cases, the person who is being attacked tuns on their “saviour” and starts defending their abuser! Best advice, stay out of other people’s business – only children and the elderly should be helped.
What infuriates me the most concerning this incident is the victim blaming mentality on Twitter and gossip blogs. Yeah, dude is a douche, and I always thought he looks like a tool. But NO person deserves physical abuse. Period.
From the pictures of her wrists, it looks like he was trying to hold back and restrain HER. She was most likely infuriated by another woman calling him and went berserk. She has the money to destroy him just as she threatened his ex-wife she would be destroyed.
Something very fishy about Camilles story.
He was holding her back and restraining her FROM MOVING. Those are common bruises to get when you try to get away from an attacker.
I don’t think you can truly draw that conclusion that he was restraining her because she was out of control. I had similar arm bruising when my ex attacked me, One of my arms was pinned under his knee as he sat on top of me choking me & laughing. It was heinous. It took over a month for that bruise to heal.
Are you a forensic expert? Or telepathic? Do you know what defensive bruises look like, or what she was thinking?
You are postulating based on pictures and your previous conceptions of her, when in reality you know nothing for sure. Which yes is fine on a celebrity gossip site, but you are veering directly into victim blaming terroritory, where you have decided not only is the attacker innocent until proven guilty, but the victim is guilty until proven innocent.
I would care less if you weren’t a woman, posting about a very serious women’s topic, in a very detrimental way.
What is so strange about this guy is he’s a lawyer. It was just reported today his law license was suspended in the beginning of this year by the Texas Bar for not taking his necessary continuing education credits necessary to keep your license in good standing. That is something any lawyer would never let lapse because you have to keep your practice up and running and be able to take care of your clients. So it is suspended and he never got it back in good order, and here it is almost November. So what kind of crappy lawyer is he that he didn’t have at his age a roster of clients he needed to be able to practice and take care of them. Something is really off about him.
Now her complaint calls him a personal trainer. What lawyer goes down to a personal trainer? He sounds like a loser and a lot more to his story.
I am a Houstonian and it is so difficult to get help from our police department. If they aren’t witness to the crime they turn a blind eye.
Not to get too personal but I sought assistance from them because I’m being stalked and harrassed by an individual with an unhealthy obsession. I cannot tell you how many times I was asked, “What did you do to him?”or “What did you do to make him pour water in your gas tank and slash your tires?” That experience alone has caused me to not want to ask for help. It’s sad really.
Sorry, this has happened to you. Hopefully, someone in the department will take your case or possibly help you get a restraining order.
+1!
I have to agree about the police in Texas. I am in Dallas. My ex husband assaulted me so badly that he was charged with a felony & I was granted a 2 year protective order. However, he fled the scene & the next time the police saw him (a week later) he was not arrested for assault because the warrant wasn’t ready! I had called the police because he was breaking into my house & they let him leave!
Unbelievably, once the warrant was ready, I asked if they were going to arrest him & the detective told me no that he would be picked up if he was pulled over! How long has it been since you’ve been pulled over? I was thinking it could be months or years.
I really wanted to call in to TMZ Live earlier to explain what was probably (not) happening in her case when they couldn’t believe this guy hadn’t been arrested.
Here’s the thing about the criminal justice system, at least in Australia, but I presume it is similar in most western countries. The crime that is committed, is not about the victim at all. In Aus, if you commit a crime, the insult is to the Queen’s law, NOT the victim. Most people don’t realise that and think that they will receive justice for what happened to them, but most don’t. The whole thing is bulsh. (And if the crown can find a way to blame it on the victim, they will.)
This is terrible! The first thing I thought was it’s happened before. I hope I’m wrong. I don’t follow her either, but know who she is. 2 weeks after major surgery? She’s very tiny, he could have killed her easily. I’m really shocked at how hurt she is.. Good luck Camille.
Domestic abuse is f-cked.
Domestic abuse skyrockets when women are ill. I don’t know why it is, but I think it’s because abusers know a sick woman is even less able to fight back or leave. Abusers abuse because they like it, and they victimize because they like it, and they are very very good at pretending to be something they are not until they see their time for hurting someone.
I just wanted to make a comment on her earlier quote, where she was quoted as saying that the guy was even-tempered and kind.
It’s certainly possible that something happened to cause the guy to “turn on a dime”, as it were.
But I think it’s just as likely that it has been going on for some time but she has been too ashamed and humiliated to admit it.
My husband assaulted me pretty badly a few months ago, and I am finally going through the divorce I should have sought years ago. And when anyone asked me how my marriage was, I inevitably answered that it was great, we were happy, and my husband was wonderful.
Because yeah… it’s just really tough to admit that this kind of thing is going on. Part of me knew better and still allowed it to continue, out of fear and shame. So I have to wonder if her quote was part of that denial process.
(((((HUGS))))) Lindy
Thanks–really–thank you. It has been really hard, and I have a 4-year-old little boy who has had to witness too many ugly things already, so I am trying hard to get to a better place for him. And I just feel bad for any woman who has to go through that, and to feel that sense of shame and humiliation and fear, you know?
I know it’s a little late, but I hope you and your son are all right Lindy.
Stay strong Lindy. I am rooting for you!
yeah i feel bad for her if this is true. but she is the victim drama queen of the century and a nasty piece of work. not sure why you sensitive intelligent women continue to defend her grossness. She should go away now.
Seriously Anne? What the people here defend is her right to be safe from an abuser.
Absolutely,lenje! I don’t care about Camille. And if she is lying that is super horrible. But I got a feeling from the photos it was true. And not immediately arrest him is not a big deal – it should happen soon.
and to add, sadly, since my DV ordeal in 2011, I have little faith in the “justice” system.
she may even be blackmailing him over consensual sexual practices like she did with Kelsey. she sucks.
Never heard that… do tell.
That is terrible. Poor Camille, that must have been very frightening. Even though she showed some real craziness on RH, I always kind of liked her. I think she is a strong woman. Terrible taste in men though, I can kind of see it all over that guy’s face that he is not a good one. Can’t you just tell? It’s in the eyes.
This story is bogus. Shes a gold digging, narcissistic sociopath. Whether it was true or not, she said Kelsey liked wearing sexy lingerie. Would you want to be friends with her? If you answer yes, ask yourself why? What redeeming qualities does she have worth admiring? She marries rich, famous men and makes her living trashing them in public. Empowerment? Grow the heck up, peeps. For most women, true domestic violence is terrible. But A few bruises can add up to big money in little miss crassness’ bank account and who knows? Maybe that was consensual too? Ick.