Gerard Butler, Joe Manganiello, Jeremy Renner at LA event: who would you rather?

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Here are some photos from the opening of a new Ermenegildo Zegna Boutique on Rodeo Drive. The opening got a surprisingly good turnout, and it was mostly men. I’m including photos of the men I think you’ll like, and I’m not including photos of the men who I didn’t recognize (there were some male models that were meh) and Joe Jonas. Is anyone turned on by the sight of Joe Jonas? Probably not.

So, I’m including photos of Joe Manganiello, Gerard Butler, Gavin Rossdale, Jeremy Renner and Edward Norton. It’s a weird assortment of men, right? It’s so varied that I think everyone will be able to find at least one guy they’d probably bang, if just for a night. So that is your task in this post. We’re not trying to find a Forever Dong. We’re just trying to find a One Night Dong.

Gerard Butler used to be a long-term crush, but it just died on me a few years ago. He’s such a slut and it’s a turn-off. I will say this, though – he’s looking pretty good these days. His weight has stabilized, he doesn’t look so stanky. I still wouldn’t touch it these days, but I like to look at photos of him. Gavin doesn’t do much for me, and Joe is such a meathead. Edward Norton is pretentious so… I guess I’m going with Jeremy Renner. Even though he looks like he’s about to kill someone on this red carpet, I’d still shave him and make him my pocket boyfriend.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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55 Responses to “Gerard Butler, Joe Manganiello, Jeremy Renner at LA event: who would you rather?”

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  1. Spooks says:

    No one.
    But if you had me at gun point, then Norton.

  2. blue marie says:

    Even though he’s a huge prick, out of these I think I’d pick Norton or nothing..

    • Spooks says:

      Norton vacationed in Croatia a couple years ago in a private house and the owner said he was one of the nicest guests she ever had. I guess he’s only pricky when he works.

  3. Anna says:

    Manga-Manga!

  4. Sharra55 says:

    I can’t help it. I have such a soft spot for Joe. Yeah…that sounds bad on sooo many levels, doesn’t it?

    • Jen says:

      But why? He’s attractive I guess. But he’s a douche who “writes” “fitness books” COME ON!

      • blue marie says:

        I bet he grunts a lot too.. Like you ask him to get a pot off the bottom shelf for you and he gives you proper squat form, grunting when he hits the right spot.

      • bbb1975 says:

        @ blue marie….you made me snort! You are right!
        Ps…Gerard for me, please!

      • Sharra55 says:

        @blue marie – that cracked me up! He can grunt for me anytime! LOL

      • Janet says:

        Have you ever listened to him talk? I have a huge crush since his Aisha Tyler “Girl on Guy” interview. (free podcast so no reason not to listen)

    • Jen34 says:

      I do, too. I think he is gorgeous and don’t understand why people think he is a meathead. Jason Momao is a meathead, and I’d do him,too.

  5. mia girl says:

    None in this crew do it for me, even for a One Night Dong.
    I’d rather be home alone with my forever dong fantasies.

  6. Wrachul says:

    I’m not into him anymore, but my teenage self was in total lust with Gavin Rossdale. I was at the concert (in my home town) where he performed Glycerine in the pouring rain and OMG I wanted him so bad.

    I agree that Gerard Butler is looking better these days but honestly, none of these guys are doing it for me right now.

  7. Hubbahun says:

    The Renbot always and forever it’s the “Hi I’m a serial killer but I’d do ya right” thing he has going on. Plus he’d call me ‘woman’ a lot. Have I shared too much?

    • I Choose Me says:

      No you’ve shared just enough to give me a good chuckle. I like the cut of your jib.

      If I had to choose I’d pick Norton but I’d like me some Renner too. 😀

  8. ANDREA1 says:

    From this line up of men if I were to pick anyone I would go for Gerard Butler just for a one night stand I would hit him hard through out the night and kick him out the following morning and ask him not to call Me again!

  9. brin says:

    I’ll go with Gandy from the previous post.

  10. yeahright says:

    Gerard IS such a slut… but he always makes my ovaries perk up. For shame. Out of rebellion I’d choose Joe.

  11. Jen says:

    STD Machine, Egomaniac, or Giant Douchebro – hmmmmmm, how about NONE?

  12. fingerbinger says:

    For me it would be Joe or Ed. Gerard looks like patient zero. I still think Renner is gay. And Gavin just NO.

  13. lucy says:

    Edward Norton, and I don’t know why. Saw the Painted Veil a week ago and now I’m obsessed…

  14. eliza says:

    Ugh. Man-Jello is awful. Don’t get the hype.

    Butler if I had a body condom. Renner if he were a foot taller. Norton if he kept his mouth shut.

  15. RobN says:

    Norton, but only because he looks like he bathes on a regular basis.

  16. QQ says:

    Pocket Bf Renner for the Win…seems like out of all these aging douches he’d service me right down below, and I’d be the least embarrased to be walk of shame morning after-ing with him

  17. janie says:

    I’ll take Butler & Manganiello for a Thousand Alex Trebeck!! Lol 🙂

  18. Abby says:

    If it had to be one of them, I’d take Joe, but dirty talk only.

  19. palermo says:

    Joe all day, all night

  20. Jenny says:

    It would have to be Renner for me too. He may be short and he may be unconventional looking, but I find him ridiculously sexy. Gerard is looking fine but he is such a skank. Joe in just a lump and Ed looks like the kindly vicar in an Agatha Christie play.

    • MGray says:

      Although it is a personal fantasy of mine to corrupt a clergy man, Norton is too kindly to tie up by his rosaries and ride into sin.

      Butler looks the best, and I do long for the Dear Frankie days, but I’ll stick with admiring him from afar lest my biscuit disown me.

      Happy to pick Renner for the night, always had a thing for him, but I would give him a shave first, he’s never looked good with facial hair no matter how often he tries.

    • Morgan says:

      Agree with all of this!

  21. DawnOfDagon says:

    Gah, they are all so… bland. Norton, though, reminds me of my kick arse gay friend, and therefore wins.

  22. MeowuiRose says:

    I used to have soo much lust for Gerard but now …..he is dead to me. Ed looks tasty even if he is a snob.

  23. flavia_deluce says:

    I know this will sound crazy but I’m so into Jeremy Renner’s hands. I don’t know what it is about them, I first noticed them in his Bourne movie, they’re just supersexy. HATE his facial hair here, though. Gotta go with Alcide out of this bunch. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

    • Jen says:

      Haha really? Cause I just read a post on ONTD about his hands and how gross they were. His fingernails like run into his skin? They look like tiny penises.

  24. Red32 says:

    Norton is cute and aging ridiculously well, so I’ll go with Smoochy.

  25. ZigZagZoey says:

    GAG ~ I cannot stand seeing Jeremy Renner. He is so ugly. I don’t understand AT ALL how anyone can find him attractive. :shudder:
    I don’t know why he bothers me so much, but he makes me sick.

  26. Jennifer says:

    No brainer-Joe Manganiella. Being THAT good-looking (not to mention the work he puts in for THAT body), he’s probably got a very healthy, if not overboard, ego. That would be the hard part.

    Of course, Norton wins for most substance.

  27. j.eyre says:

    Even though Daniel Bruhl has replaced PocketRen as my Pocket Boyfriend, I suppose, if I have to select from this group, I would go with PocketRen for nostalgia. And try to will away that hair fuzz, Mephisto thing he is trying to work.

    • loveisthecoal says:

      I’m sorry, but you will have to fight me for Daniel. 😉 I may be willing to loan him out on weekends for the right price.

      To answer the question posed in the article, I’ll take Norton. I’d prefer him circa Fight Club, but he’s something of a forever-dong for me.

  28. Gabrielle says:

    Gavin. A forever crush for me.

  29. GeeMoney says:

    I’d do everyone on this page, personally.

    My first choice would be Manganiello, though.

  30. Pants says:

    Gavin Rossdale foreverrrrrrrrr 15 year old me is giggling on the inside!

    Wouldn’t kick Joe Manganiello out of bed either though lol

  31. lunchcoma says:

    My impulse is “no one,” but if I must choose, I’ll go with Renner. I’m not particularly attracted to him, but I have an odd feeling he’d be really good in bed.

  32. Source says:

    Sigh. When Joe first got on True Blood, I was majorly hot for him. I loved his bod. But lately…I dunno…I don’t think he’s stupid, I just think he might be…dull? I want my man with some snark. Some biting humor.

    I go back and forth on Gerard, and the slut thing definitely is a turn-off, but his weight has stabilized, and it looks like he’s lost the alcohol bloat as well.

    Okay, so I think Joe might be looking in the mirror and posing half the time, and Gerard, being a ho, might know how to bring it.

    So, I guess Gerard for the win. Double-wrapped.

  33. maxwell says:

    easy! renner forever and always…!!!

  34. Lucy2 says:

    None, but forced to choose I’d pick Norton.
    Jeremy’s facial hair makes him look like Satan. Gerard does look better, but he’s tainted.

  35. Christina says:

    I’d pick Norton because I love him. However, Joe M would be my second choice. I met him when he was doing Streetcar at the Yale Rep recently. He did not come across as a meathead at all. He was really nice and articulate. He is also other wordly hot in person.

  36. anais says:

    Gerard and Joe. At the same time. And the rest of you seem to like girly men who are ugly. Grow up.

  37. Moi/1 says:

    Gavin Rossdale….always.

  38. Mimi says:

    (chanting) Gery! Gery! Gery! 🙂