I wish I had the words to describe this mess. Lady Gaga is in the midst of trying to rebrand ARTPOP, her latest album flop. She’s blamed everybody and everything for the album failure, but she’s still stuck promoting the same old songs. Her newest single off the album is “G.U.Y.” Instead of making a music video with a normal budget, Gaga blew millions of dollars on a nonsensical, plotless mess which was filmed partially at the Hearst castle in California. She even filled up the famous (and famously leaky) Neptune pool with water so that she could do a choreographed swim number. Also making an appearance: Lisa Vanderpump, Giggy, Andy Cohen, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, and actors who look like Gandhi, Michael Jackson and Jesus Christ. Here you go… just beware, while this video isn’t super-explicit or anything, there are some NSFW butt shots and such.
The “plot” seems to be that Lady Gaga and her Real Housewife team are injecting men with a syrum that turns them all into Androgynous Himbos that strut around pointlessly. And if Gaga’s fallen angel gets to bathe in the Neptune pool, she turns into Donatella Versace. Something like that. I’m sure this makes more sense after several lines of cocaine. Oh, and this was directed by Lady Gaga too. Way to double-down on the album flop, Gaga.
Incidentally, while Gaga’s stupid antics and music videos annoy the hell out of me, I am interested in hearing how much money she’s losing and how much money she’s costing her record label. Gaga recently admitted that she was bankrupt after her Monster’s Ball Tour because she spent so much of her own money keeping everything afloat. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if she’s completely broke at this point. So why is she still spending money like a drunken sailor on stupid, pointless music videos for songs that really aren’t that good?
Photos courtesy of WENN.
I didn’t have any cocaine, so I just chugged some cough syrup and sniffed some Elmer’s I found at the back of my junk drawer. I really like the video.
Bahaha! Can I come over?
Sure! I just found some cold medicine!
I’ll bring the Xanax. 😉
I watched Saturday and ended with the biggest Baroo? Face and Mescaline and Salvia contact high ever… So No one is gonna get me to press play again
Also : why does she dance like a child in dire straits to make it to the toilet? What Is that about
Also That hair looks like Hay… Not ever yarn or barbie hair, just like fresh Hay
The effed up part is that The Song Itself aint bad?!? Is like It could work for the gym?! But this batshittery isnt helping it at all
I can’t watch the video because I’m allergic to batshittery, but I can’t wait to go to dance class and practice those moves you so eloquently described. Actually, I sh-t my bathing suit once at summer camp, so I really shouldn’t be making fun of ANYONE.
Allergic to batshittery, I love it. “Sorry, can’t watch this…I’m allergic.”
Her ego has gotten the best of her. The Fame was good because so many of the songs were legit pop hits — this new album seems purposely obscure, like she was testing everyone to see if they would play anything she put out.
The public called her bluff.
I’m just waiting for the “I blew 5 mil up my nose but it made me a better artist”. Oh wait, she already pulled that one too. Sigh.
I think this video would make sense after 3 hits of acid rather than 3 lines of cocaine.
Well, if she’s broke that explains her horrible wig game!
January Jones was right. Eyebrows do make you look younger.
These stunts are tiresome.
I agree. I think at one point she was cool/different/artistic but now she is just another gimmick.
I tried watching some of it over the weekend but only made it a little ways in. One note: her repeating Art Pop as a chorus over & over is a weird form of product placement within the actual product. Also, the words “art pop” are not catchy as a meaningless sound bite, not like “gaaa gaaa oooh la la”.
I couldn’t get through it either. I made it to Andy’s head in the sky and then had to turn it off. Too much secondhand embarrassment.
WTF?! 😁 that is just freaking painful. Giggy looks adorable in his little Tux. Girlfriend needs to stop with the coke and for goodness sake buy a nicer wig.
She released G.U.Y. because that’s what the fans wanted. Her own favourite song was Venus and with DWUW, they were going in another direction. To save Artpop, she listened to the fans which proves again that she wants to sell.
She put 3 songs in the video which means this is the last song of Artpop before she goes on tour, what a flop era! The video does have some good shots though, her body looks great, I’ll give her that.
Unpopular opinion, but it’s my favorite song off the album and I liked the video. It’s fun.
Mine is Swine! Then Manicure. G.U.Y. is alright.
Well the fact that she has the RHOBH making appearances in her videos really says alot.
Yes, how avant-garde to have reality show “stars” in your video; she is a budget fraud, and most of her success was due to other people; johnny verace is spinning in his grave; he made the supermodels of the 90s, and some of those early 90s runway shows (all on youtube) are the best ever, and now his sister has taken to this clown. Narcissists just cannot make good anything. Has she ever sold out an actual stadium?
I’m sure she has some deep, riveting meaning to that about benign pop culture such as The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, thus relating that to empty, commerical pop music maybe the suits want her to make, unlike her deep art she makes and fights for. Make no mistake, Gaga has all kinds of references in there on purpose that most will never know or figure out, and ultimately, when it becomes so bloated and filled with way too many symbolism parts to the video, do we really care? it’s not supposed to be a Rubik’s cube to decipher. It’s supposed to be a video to enhance the song.
Whatever happened to that video she did with R. Kelly? Was it ever released?
the video believed it could fly, but then it was shot down and dunked like slightly limp potpourri in that leaky pool.
I absolutely loathe RK! loved him in the 90s but after his kiddy exploits I can’t believe anyone would collaborate with him…. every time that awful song comes on the radio ( not that it gets much play) I turn the station
and how the hell is this chick broke?? un-F—ING real these stars and their ridiculous spending habits
glad she has stopped coping madonna’ looks and found someone else to copy ,wonder how long will it take for Donatella to get tired of her too , this clearly shows she is not creative ,just a very good copycat with a n excellent entourage ,
I couldn’t stand it the first viewing, bored stiff. LOL I watched it again and it wasn’t bad. But it’s not worth the money she spent on it. I did like the beginning, because that’s one of the few songs I love off the album, Artpop the song because of the beat, and I liked beginning of the video that it referred to her being dumped by all the suits who loved her money and betrayed her and then abandoned her and she was left stabbed in the heart, brokenhearted.
She just doesn’t get it, though. The album ARTPOP is not some big artistic deal. The songs are basic. Most don’t have great lyrics or hooks. Some don’t have great melodies. The songs for the most part just aren’t that good. She thinks she David Bowie with her songwriting and people don’t get her art. LOL And GUY’s lyrics are interesting but the song just never takes off.
And that vomiting on stage at S x SW, she calls that art? LOL
Now back to a truly great song, Gimme Shelter, by the Rolling Stones.
wow. That was so bad.
Not gonna lie, I LOVE these cinematic WTF videos that Gaga does.
Paparazzi? I loved that video. Telephone? Loved it. And this video? LOVE. IT.
But I don’t love the song, and I don’t think many other people will either, so it’s not going to revive her career.
And although I may be a minority around here, I think that’s a pity. I would totally be up for more visually-insane, essence-of-famewhore shenanigans from Lady Gaga if only she were still making relentlessly-fun earworm pop songs.
completely agree about loving the weird video and hating the song.
it’s too bad, because I really used to dig her music AND her videos.. everything I’ve heard from this latest album kind of sucks though.
I think it’s obvious she’s making a last ditch effort to try & sell this album. The songs are just not good.
Kaiser, I think you’ve got to dig deeper. I’ve always appreciated your devils advocate approach for interpreting some of my favorite celebrities, and most times I can see your point of view. But I think on this particular occasion you couldn’t be more wrong. I mean that respectfully, of course. Try to see it from this point of view:
1. Symbolism: All through the video there are signs that you just can’t keep a good woman down, especially Mother Monster. From the money hungry executives to the very wounded Gaga to the submerging in the pool to resurrecting Jesus, Ghandi and Michael Jackson, everything has a meaning.
2. The Real Housewives Of Venus: I’m not completely surprised to not see Brandi Glanville playing a violin or a flute with the other housewives but I was surprised to not see Joyce. Her hair probably would have upstaged Gaga’s long blonde tresses so I get that too. It was nice to see these ladies out of their element singing along to G.U.Y. And might I add, Giggy was adorable too!
3. ARTPOP is Back: We were immediately captivated by the title track “Artpop” followed by “Venus.” After “Venus”, we were greeted with “G.U.Y.” If you stuck around for the immensely prolonged credits you’d know “Manicure” was the fourth to finish it out which clearly meant that ARTPOP has been brought back with a sweet vengeance as I suspected.
4. The Haus: With The Haus Of Gaga is always a trio of men, and I don’t mean the background dancers, so it was nice to see her display some real eye candy to bring us back to her glory days. From lifeguards to random men, there was plenty of G.U.Y. to be desired.
5. Her Artpop Could Mean Anything: Yes, this is true, but don’t get it twisted…G.U.Y. is clear and concise and it’s best to really listen to the lyrics to get the gist. She is in complete control and you know it.
6. Dancing: I won’t say Gaga is much of a skilled dancer like Britney or Justin Timberlake, but one thing is for sure, she can move. And as usual, her trademark nervous hands and body swerve are all the rage. There’s nothing like having a bunch of dancers follow you after all of that.
7. Gaga Bear: When Lady Gaga is brought in and VENUS flashes on the screen, you immediately feel like you are in part 2 of PAPARAZZI. The sexy women, the grandeur, the death by elegance. So it’s delicious to see Gaga in this construction paper bear ensemble just looking very Poker Face.
8. Versace Like A Motherfucker: We all know Gaga is the face of Versace and she makes it evident that Donatella is her inspiration. From the facial features to the trademark hair, we are getting Versace of the highest order and it wets our palates for sure. When you see her in the gold bathing suit you’ll think to yourself, “Yaaas bitch!”
9. Andy Cohen: It’s probably the smartest thing to do to keep Andy in the sky giving crazy eyes because it would have distracted her from this very serious piece of art.
10. Legolicious: Gaga showcases numerous pieces of unconventional art forms in G.U.Y. which is note worthy. She truly is trying to say, “We are all artists and our art could mean anything.”
The video is a masterpiece, one for the books. Lavish, over the top, grand and beautiful. I’ll say that this will definitely put Gaga where she needed to be to begin with.
I appreciate this comment. I do wish I liked the actual song more, but thanks for your interpretation of the visuals.
I’m more curious about Part 2 of ARTPOP that she’s talking about. I don’t know if there will be new songs or remixes or both. There was that one song “Ratchet” that didn’t make the cut.
Hearts castle is amazing though
I’ll admit it – I watched the video out of sheer curiosity. And I found it way over-the-top, gimmicky and the song? Not worth listening to again. Her stupid symbolism aside, there was nothing interesting about the video. Just a mess put together by clubbing random scenes together. She doesn’t have it in her to make artistic videos. There is no art in her music, its just typical pop fluff marketed as something deeper and insightful. You know who make good, artistic videos with songs that have something to say? Tool.
Gaga’s videos look like a laughable attempt by MTV trying to create something artistic. I watched other videos of her songs. They all sound the same and the videos are hilariously bad. I don’t see what the hype is about.
I appreciate all quotes
Wish Lady Gaga would read this from a (ready to check out from her fanbase) fan–
Used to be a fan of Mother Monster but not so much now. At first she was unique and interesting. Music really great and dancey. Now her shenanigans have just gotten old and are obviously for attention which kind of disses her fans. The attention should be on great music, song writing and vocals. She has all of that but has chosen the route of her “performance art” which has become that of a caricature of itself. The best thing she could do right now is scale back, strip down her performance (and I don’t mean in the way she does now if you know what I mean) and let us savor the music. If it is good then none of this other stuff is necessary. And none of the manipulation of the media and fans to get over the top views, etc is necessary. For someone who tries to editorialize about “fame” and the side effects through her music, she sure uses the system she criticizes in my opinion. If she doesn’t reassess her vision as far as her career, she will continue to lose fans and potential fans–imo.
Spot on. She plays the martyr all the time about her latest album, but if she was putting out music with great lyrics, great melodies and hooks, it would all be moot. Her music would sell. Instead we have someone throwing up all over Gaga and Gaga calling it art. She’s becoming a joke.
The only song I listen to off the album is Artpop. I love the beat. it’s addictive. Applause is enjoyable when I hear it but don’t play it myself. The others I can’t be bothered with even if decent, which some are. I do like some of them more live, like Dope.
Her artRave performance of a small group of the songs was so underwhelming last year except her entrance doing Artpop, and I think that show celebrating the release of Artpop didn’t help her much in selling the album. It was boring for all the hype it got with the flying dress and whatnot.