Rashida Jones is back in the news again with her thoughts on the over sexualization of young women. She joined a panel on the Women In the World Summit, which was moderated by Mika Brzezinski from “Morning Joe.” I’m sorry, but Mika will always be known as “shaft grasper” in my mind thanks to Russell Brand. Mika is a pretty terrible public speaker, and she did no better at this event.
Rashida was far more composed in her discussion. She’s either had some coaching or has censored herself a bit on this topic. Last year she famously tweeted for celebrities to “stop acting like wh-res.” Rashida tried to make a point during her tweeted argument, but her entire message was lost in the presentation. Calling people “wh-res” immediately turns the topic to slut shaming, and all productive discussion is out the door. Rashida later took to Glamour to beg for an end to “the Year of the Very Visible Vagina.” She clarified that at this summit:
About those tweets: “I just had a boiling point … they called me an anti-feminist and a slut-shamer. I understand the instinct against not pitting women against each other but I was making a very specific comment about public artists who are there for public consumption.”
Looks definitely aren’t everything: “Once, a friend’s mom said to me when I was very young… ‘You can’t really invest in your looks as the only thing because it’s a depreciating asset. I think this is true…it’s like putting money into a stock that’s going down. Put your money, put your effort, invest in your brain and talent which will appreciate and get better as you get older.”
[From Yahoo!
Rashida’s words will hopefully resonate with young women — if they are listening. Investing in one’s looks is worth it for a short time, but it all eventually fades. You can’t stop the clock, and women are held up to such scrutiny as they age. Men are allowed much more freedom to “let themselves go” and still be seen as silver foxes who can pop a little Viagra and be as good as new. It’s not fair, but that’s how our society sees the subject. The best way women can deal with it is by accomplishing great things. Invest in family or invest in a career, or do both. But investing in looks always brings back diminishing returns. I agree with Rashida! I’m glad she stepped back and cleaned up her message.
Photos courtesy of WENN
Rashida is obnoxious….tries to act smart and politically aware, but just comes off as obnoxious.
She’s used her looks to get ahead in her career…..I don’t care if she did it to get her footing in the door and realizes it’s not a long-term solution….if you’ve done it, don’t act so high and mighty.
Plus isn’t she that idiot who was telling John Travolta “Come out, come out of the closet”….? Sure I think Travolta is probably gay/bisexual but have a little bit more class Rashida.
Sure her looks helped but I disagree with the sentiment that she wasn’t always aware. She went to Harvard. You can’t say she didn’t invest in her brains. Nowadays she writing scripts and producing movies and a new series for hbo that she is writing and producing. She is actually a bookish type that you never see out partying on the Hollywood scene. A bit judgemental yes but hardly obnoxious.
I think your comment is ridiculous… I don’t know how you can call anyone obnoxious who says that girls should invest their time in being smart rather than invest their time in being beautiful. It’s not obnoxious to say that. It’s smart.
Not to mention, Rashida went to Harvard, so more than likely, the woman IS very smart. I don’t think she’s “trying” to come off that way at all.
And besides, Carrie Fisher publicly called out John Travolta LONG before Rashida did. So did Margaret Cho. Why aren’t you criticizing them for not having any class?
George W. Bush went to Harvard too; just saying.
Yeah, but Rashida earned her way into school. Her Daddy didn’t pull any strings, as far as I know.
Right, as far as you know but money talks.
Just like I wish Camron Diaz would shut up about trying to tell people what to do with their private area, I wish Rashida would shut up trying to tell girls what she thinks should be more important to them. If it makes them happy to be one way, then fine, more power to you. But it doesn’t give them the right to think they are in a position to tell other women what they should or should not be doing.
Besides I think this is coming from a different place with Rashida since she had body image problems growing up which I think has made her bitter.
@V4Real – everyone is in the position to tell whatever they want. Only if u r young and famous then more people will take notice. Those are socialites – their job is to keep on blubbering.
@V4Real Then who should tell young women what to value and what endures in life? Should a woman in a public forum not advocate for young women to focus on their education and more intrinsic pursuits? It’s not as though she is demanding they do as she say, she is offering an educated opinion on what she believes will be of most value and be the most rewarding for young women.
I think there are sooooooo many voices telling women to exploit their physical beauty and not to bother with their intelligence. I am glad Rashida has a different message. It stands out because in society and pop culture, the opposite message gets heard so much more frequently.
Rashida’s father, Quincy Jones, is worth approximately $300 million dollars. She doesn’t need to worry about investing in anything.
Maybe instead of pontificating to the masses, Rashida could start a foundation to help young women learn the value of investing in their education instead of their looks. Talk is cheap.
Right. She shouldn’t think or do for herself. So then everyone can nitpick her that she is living off her connections, shouldn’t be allowed to speak because through no fault of her own, her father is rich, etc., etc. She actually does do charity work, and works with established charities, which is also a good thing because its best to throw support behind established charities rather than inexperienced people creating vanity charities in their name, taking resources away from the established ones.
From what I’ve read she is involved in a girls club in NY, among other philanthropic ventures
I’m so disappointed in Rashida. She was one of my favorites before her rant re Miley. Now this?
Yeah, we women are more than aware that we’re aging, but it doesn’t mean we can’t still enjoy our reflections in the mirror or enjoy our bodies and faces . Lots of older/aging women are gorgeous and there’s nothing wrong with taking care of yourself or doing whatever you want. It’s your face, your body, etc.
She went to Harvard , she’s a great screenwriter and actress, but she’s just not a good feminist. She lets her own insecurities and cynicism shame her and then she shames other women.
I thought she was great, but this rude garbage keeps oozing from her mouth.
Sorry, but I don’t understand your point.
What garbage is she oozing?
Rashida didn’t say women shouldn’t enjoy and appreciate their looks, to me it sounds she advising women to invest in more than just their pretty faces and slim bodies.
It’s like putting all of my eggs into one basket, it’s very risky, isn’t it.
Women are much more than our looks, of course we try to take very good care of ourselves, but the reality is that there is no way to fight time unless one wants to look frozen from Botox, puffy from fillers and look like an alien trying to look younger with face lifts.
We either slowly age over the years or die old.
I think it’s very smart and the greatest of investments to get the best possible education that can be used in the real world, for men and women.
Because as most of us know, life is no walk on the beach, it’s hard to be a human being and even harder being a woman in this world.
She is not politically correct, but honest and I love it.
Women should enjoy their youth and beauty while it lasts, but invest in their brain with the best possible education.
If you look at her comment, it is about extremes. She said:
“You can’t really invest in your looks as the only thing …”
She didn’t say that women shouldn’t enjoy their looks.
Just. Wow. Your ignorance of feminism is epic. I have no words…
Wow, YOU are obnoxious for dismissing her advice to young women. She’s counteracting all the other famous celebrities who are using their “SEXUALIZATION” to get ahead and perpetuating the idea that your body and sexual prowess is really all you need to get attention. I wish there were more people who would speak out on this issue like Rasheeda has done. And no, she’s not pretentious at all. Would you call a 40 year old women who tells her daughters to invest in her brain and her personhood rather than her looks pretentious and trying to act smart? And yes, her looks probably helped with getting her career on track, but we could say similar things about good looking people getting hired in various occupations. There are studies that show good looking people succeed more in terms of getting hired, earning promotions, etc.
take a read at this article (I’m not sure if it’s a hoax but most likely it’s real). I found it incredulous that a woman would ask such questions and plot her way into money by looks alone, but at this day and age I have seen too many girls with the same thoughts.
http://laluttecontinue.tumblr.com/post/20069287160/a-letter-from-jp-morgan-ceo-to-gold-diggers
@Loofas – I LOVE THAT!!! Standing ovation for that J P Morgan CEO. I love how he broke it down like that. I hope that isn’t a hoax because that was beautiful.
you should always invest in your health, though) It always pays out…
Ups, wrong post.
she didn’t say don’t invest in your health, she said don’t invest in your looks – VERY different things
i know what she didnt say. Am I allowed to leave a comment lol? Also, investing in health indirectly contributes to good looks, fyi. Beauty doesnt have to be fake.
I’m Team Rashida
everyone should invest in their minds and health.
there is nothing wrong with investing in your looks as long as there is something else to feel good about yourself for because what is physically attractive is always subjective.
the most attractive people are ones that are well rounded: have talent, confidence, a sense of humor, and intelligence. if you can be all those things and be decent to other people you are totally winning. add good looking and you are unstoppable.
being found attractive based on nothing but looks or money seems like asking for misery.
I agree. I see nothing wrong in also investing in your looks, but it should be secondary and not the be all end all of your efforts. Youth will fade, yes, but attractiveness doesn’t have to fade with it. There are many levels of attractiveness, and it’s whole package that counts. Good looks are just one part.
This fiction. I’ve know enough people with average intelligence and a basic degree who looked hot and got way further than humble super smart people with average looks. I’ve lost a job offer to a good friend of mine who is Angelina Jolie levels of hot but she had no high school degree and a 5 year gap on her CV while I had the credentials but I am average. This was for a big business in a financial district so no dodgy place. I’ve seen another friend of mine get 3 promotions within 1 year (in some sort of law firm) over people who were working there 3+ years and delivered equally good work (according to her). The bosses actually ‘joked’ that she just looked better and you could go places with her! Meaning: she was a better representative for the company. She did have to follow evening school for basic law training because it was necessary but they rather invested in her than their educated other workers! She was also hit on by her line manager and to keep her in the company, he convinced the main boss to give her a major raise, which she accepted. I’m happy for them because they do have it much easier and they just use society’s shallow values to their advantage. Get money 😀
There’s enough research that says employers will pick beautiful people over average people for interviews and job offers. Aesthetics is so coveted, why overlook this fact? Sure we can say what inside matters most but reality is that it won’t pay the bills. As a personal value, I agree but in the career department? No. Depending on the kind of job you’re after, taking care of your looks can become equally important as intelligence.
Just like every human being, looks fade but we have YEARS before this happens and when it does, we will be established enough to not having to use them anymore to our advantage. There’s nothing wrong in investing in both tbh. Even if it’s just for personal pleasure, looking good/feeling good is important in general.
Your comment reminds me of “The Bubble” episode of 30 Rock with Jon Hamm.
I agree that smarts and talent aren’t always foolproof because we will always have the shallow ones out there, but I still think it’s better to encourage girls to nurture their talents and intellect before the superficial.
Yes, Janet Reno, Janet Yellen, Diane Ravitch, Margaret Thatcher, Elizabeth Warren, Golda Meir, Indira Gandhi…all those powerful, top leading women (past and present) were lucky they were so hot and attractive, or they might have never gotten to where they did. I think it sounds as though you believe it, and that is why you get passed over…attitude. Believing in yourself, having confidence in your ability and your intelligence, is attractive. It gets you places as much as, if not more than, passing beauty.
@Artemis – Yes, ones looks can open up doors for the individual BUT once the door is open those individuals still have to work hard. No one “pretty” is just getting everything handed to them without something in return (and it’s not just the ‘hot girls’ that have this advantage it’s also the ‘pretty/cute’ ones).
@irishserra:
Of course, I agree! MY personal value is that intelligence is more important but I like to good too. I was referring to society’s values. I don’t watch that show so I don’t know if you’re insulting or complimenting me 😀
@RagstoRags:
You can name as many women who are accomplished, there are always counter-examples of women who get to be first pick because their looks appealed first BEFORE they had to prove their smarts. Are you going to discount the research that says this over and over again? It’s not just personal opinion, you can easily find academic research on the discrimination of people who are perceived to be unattractive.
About my personal story: a 5-year gap and no high school degree and you think it has something to do with attitude? Okey kokey…Never mind that my CV is full with work experience so clearly it must be ‘my attitude’ for that 1 interview. I also didn’t mention that my friend didn’t take that job, she got offered the job. She’s highly insecure because she has worked in retail her whole life but I thought that was a stupid detail. Guess not. Going from retail to finance in 1 interview, she must have had a great attitude to compensate for that, who cares about skills in a top company right? LMAO.
People always want to believe in this utopian world where everything is fair and achievements are linear (e.g. if you work hard enough…;intelligence > beauty, good people get good things, evil people get bad things; you can do anything if you just try hard enough). Sorry but nope. And I can deal with that while trying my best to beat the odds 🙂
@Tadzio:
I agree again. Not knocking these ladies down at all. They are capable (as is everybody with an average IQ, even more so then those with a high IQ according to research) and their looks give them a great advantage.
Nothing is foolproof.
There are no guarantees in life, not even the best university education in the world provides for a great career.
One thing is for sure, beauty does fade eventually.
Nothing wrong for caring for both, brains with good education and beauty by avoiding alcohol, smoking, too much sun and bad food.
Most people enjoy looking at beautiful flowers, not weeds, such is life.
@Sam:
True.
A good balance is essential for everything in life imo. But I’m not going to be naive and think that my work ethic and degree is going to bring me that great job. I’m going to hustle and take good care of myself, girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do 🙂
@Artemis: I have to agree with you. There IS quite a bit of an utopian tale told in this world about inner values and stuff. Yes, it definitely doesn’t hurt to be smart and well educated in this world. But it doesn’t hurt either if you are also drop dead gorgeous.
BUT while looking great earlier in life my open up advantages that sometimes even last when you’re not looking that great later (like a high income), that’s not all that counts. I think it also depends very much on the way you see yourself and I guess that’s also what Rashida Jones is trying to say. I want to take my mother as an example. She was always a beautiful woman, modeled a bit when she was very young and got massively hit on by the guys (of all ages) well into her late 40s. So that was – kind of – her self image: some things didn’t end too well in life (with divorce and everything), but she was, besides smart, always nice to look at and had no problem flirting and stuff. She’s now in her 60s and (as for everyone who doesn’t live in Hollywood with a surgeon on speed dial) her looks fade and it takes a massive hit on her confidence and self image. It’s not like she wants to marry George Clooney and therefore has to look young and juicy, it’s just that she has always seen herself in a certain way, she built on that and it’s crumbling away now.
What I want to say: I’d rather be in my 60s and enjoy my mind instead of enjoying my reflection in a mirror. And for that it doesn’t really matter if I’ve gotten the better jobs throughout my life for my looks, it just matters how you see yourself and what YOU value most about you – not your boss or your co-workers or society.
I completely agree and really, it’s kind of sad this isn’t said more often. Kuddos to her.
I know…I’m kind of shocked by all the people shading her.
I LOVED what she had to say.
Me too.
I agree completely with what Rashida said and am surprised at the number of people who disagree. It’s true-looks fade and it’s important to focus on other aspects of yourself. I understood this in my 20’s but I really get it now at 41. You aren’t going to be cute and young forever-by all means enjoy it while it lasts but remember that time passes quickly and you can’t count on your looks indefinitely.
@ Isadora – But why can’t you enjoy your reflection and your mind while in your 60’s plus? You don’t have to look like Christie Brinkley. Blythe Danner looks good for her age. Susan Sarandon, Phylicia Rashad, and her sister Debbie Allen all look good for their respective ages. All beautiful women (and smart).
Well, I guess it depends on your genes. I mean, you are listing women who “look good for her age”. This implies some do and some do not and you can only influence that up to a certain point.
ITA with her message and I don’t hear this message coming from too many celebrities, so good for her.
+1
I think that there are many celebrity women not so much talking about this issue but LIVING IT. When a woman talks about more than her body or makeup workout routine she get slammed as boring or not a girls girls.
I think you lead by example. You can say all the right words and spill; but it is the actions you take; the way you live your life. That is the example. There are many women saying what she is saying by their actions.
Rashida should stop trying to tell other women how to live their lives. First the “don’tactlikewhores” tweet and now this, she wouldn’t be anywhere without her daddy and her preachy attitude leaves much to be desired so she needs to stop acting like she’s some sort of well of wisdom.
Exactly, I don’t see how this is different from her other quotes besides being less abrasive about it.
She is perpetuating this notion that women have an expiry date while men apparently don’t. Human beings in general lose their looks after 40 because it’s what biology dictates. Why is that that only women need to be made aware of this fact? As if that also is a reason to persuade them to NOT care about their looks? Hell no, if you want to take care of your looks (which I perceive as healthy living and a nice pampering once in a while) then go for it! Why shouldn’t we enjoy those wonderful youthful years taking care of ourselves to the best of our abilities? Maybe women like to make themselves up because it makes us feel good?
We don’t have to look a certain way to be taken serious, your ‘stock’ won’t go down if you invest in YOURSELF and make the choices you want to make, not what society dictates. Because that breeds happiness and confidence and that’s invaluable too.
Why is it when someone speaks frankly about a social condition, that people automatically take that as an affirmation of said condition?
Sure Rashida could pretend that society doesn’t act like women should be put out to pasture after a certain age, but that wouldn’t change the truth.
I’m honestly dumfounded at the reaction.
She’s advocating that women work on ourselves as human beings, and not fall prey to the societal perception that we’re only as good as our looks. We can and are contributing much, much more than that to this world.
How exactly is that a bad message?
Agreed Kitten.
Artemis, I don’t think she is perpetuating the notion so much as she is simply acknowledging it. She isn’t telling people to , “NOT care about their looks”. She said not to invest in your looks as the “only thing”.
Also, your final paragraph is pretty much exactly what she was saying.
I’m so lucky I was brought up in a household where both of parents encouraged me to be smart and that I could do anything. I never got the message that I had to rely on my looks or a man. When I was 9, my sister got married. She was 19 and my dad changed the part where he was supposed to “give” her away. This was 1986. I’m 37 now and I’m just starting doctoral school. It’s never too late to invest in yourself. I definitely encourage this kind of thinking. One day I even want to write a book empowering women.
Oh and I’m watching Morning Joe right now and yes mika is a terrible public speaker. In total agreement.
I think she makes a good point. There’s nothing wrong with caring about your appearance, but many women and girls spend a LOT of time focused on that, time that could be much better spent. I don’t even think it all has to be about family and career either, take that time and explore some hobbies and passions, volunteer, create.
+ 1, couldn’t agree with you more Lucy.
“Put your money, put your effort, invest in your brain and talent which will appreciate and get better as you get older.”
i can agree with that as in get an education and don’t let somebody who thinks you’re nothing but pretty make you feel like you’re nothing more than that…but I can also disagree b/c of who is saying this…how about you just stop putting your foot in your mouth and telling us what to do, Rashida?
Just because you have a twitter account, you don’t HAVE to have an opinion you share and then spend the next few weeks going in public defending…
not every female who has publicity connections like this girl needs to say something about everything. In real life, I’ve learned, it’s OK to keep your opinion to yourself, even if you agree with what is being said…not everybody wants to hear it all the time and I wish that interviewers would stop asking such specific and non-related-to-an-actors-work questions.
and I wish they would stop answering them. I wish Hollywood would go back to having some mystique and mystery, where you see an actor as their character, not as an actor playing a role they’ve been talking about for months, been seen in tabloids dressed up as and have been promoting by sharing their dieting secrets and what they think of ‘feminism’…
just play the damn movie…
You do realize she was invited to speak at this Women in the World Summit panel though, right? Not really a time to keep her opinion to herself.
I’ll agree that spouting off on twitter is rarely good for celebrities, but in this particular case, she was asked to participate and discuss this topic.
I disagree. I think every woman with a voice has the responsibility to encourage every young woman she can to concentrate on education and nurture her individual talent.
I’m glad Rashida is actually taking that responsibility seriously, even if she has made mistakes in the past with her delivery.
There are so many sources out there saying the EXACT opposite thing from what Rashida is stating here (in both word and action). I wonder why people are so outraged at her comments, but are tolerable to the opposite?
I encourage any person (celeb or not, female or not) to spread the word about investing in yourself and your mind.
100% agree. About time a woman called these ‘artists’ out for their sham attempts at provocation.
It’s good she holds herself to certain standards, but shaming anyone who doesn’t share her view is a holier-than-thou attitude to have.
Leading young women by example is a good thing, by all means. But pointing her fingers at grown women who’ve made their own choices is too pearl-clutchy for me.
Oh Rashida, I hope I don’t see you backtracking and botoxing yourself at 45. The higher they are…
It’s such a sad thing that she actually can actually make some good points, but is always telling women what they should do with themselves. I’ve never read/heard her once suggest that maybe people should consider the way they raise their boys in regards to the way they treat women or how they media and business aspects of society shames young girls for pretty much everything. No, it’s always just how women should be better.
Says someone absolutely gorgeous like her.
Don’t forget rich.
Very rich…like top 0.1% of the population rich.
How dare Rashisda voice an opinion or give advice to young women when she’s sitting on a panel of Women for World Summit Day, she should just shut up and know her place!
Actually, I think the you hit upon the most shocking truth here- that commenters are implying she should sit down and know her place, and what’s worse, stop oppressing women. And this is our future speaking out. Where’s the lifeboat?
Amazing. She’s absolutely right.
What’s with people on this site being deliberately contrary? It is so rare to have a female celebrity speak up and encourage girls to think beyond their looks, and yet the reaction is ”how dare she say that! I want to be pretty!”. And of course the slut shaming label. Somehow, things went from women being able to be in control of their own sexuality, to now all sexuality in all forms – exploitative or not, must therefore be good. The message being sent to young girls is that their sexuality is the only commodity of vue that they hold, and we’re sexualizing girls at a younger and younger ages. Jones’ ”stop being wh#res” comment was tacky, but she had a point.
I totally agree
So true. Everyone can spend hours here railing on Kim K.: What’s her talent? What does she do? She’s the worst representation of celebrity! She’s famous for nothing! She’s an idiot! On and on and on…But a celebrity talks about being less vapid, and people freak out. Not to mention judging her on her own looks. She’s pretty so she can’t say anything.
I’m Team Rashida, and I’m also Team Amy, who similarly invests a lot of time on these subjects with her youth girls webseries.
Agreed. Celebrities are either considered dumb and vapid or they’re told not to have an opinion about anything ever. They can’t win.
Wow Claire… your comment is 100% true. I honestly think people just like to complain. Never satisfied or happy.
+1 Bridget. I agree.
Damn, I agree with everything you’ve said. Also, if women focused more on education and ways to develop and improve skills for better life, and less on on superficial ambitions, it would be so much easier to take the wind out if the sails when it comes to “slut shaming.” It’s only an issue because people continue to allow it to be one by assigning validity to such meaningless words.
@irishserra,
They are empty, contrary, *juvenile* words. Is our future going to be overrun by perennial adolescents? Oh wait, it’s already here.
So much true here. There has to be drawn a line between being in charge of ones sexuality to being exploitative of it. But now it seems that anyone who question this is “slut shaming” when it is actually very different from that.
It’s really why I don’t comment here as much as I used to. A lot of misdirected anger on this board. A lot of hypocrisy as well. Not from everyone, obviously, but a lot more than there used to be.
It can get really exhausting. It didn’t used to be so combative-it used to be more about respectfully sharing opinions.
For me it’s about the contrary mindset that has become prevalent here. This week, Rashida will get rip to shreds. Next week, a celebrity will be talking about investing in girls’ education and everyone will praise that person endlessly. Body shaming this, body shaming that….but let’s all rip Rashida to shreds for her natural looks. It’s just getting weird. I wish also that people could understand that what celebrities say isn’t bible. They can have opinions just like us opinionated people here. If you don’t agree with it, cool. Everyone is so easily offended and threatened for different viewpoints and it turns into 1. rip that person apart and 2. boycott them or whatever.
Right, exactly, Claire.
How did Jones giving her opinion become “she’s telling other women what to do”?
When did we lose the ability to listen to a differing viewpoint and not take that as an automatic condemnation of our own opinion?
It becomes a challenge to have a productive discussion around here with all the ad hominem attacks…
@TheOriginalKitten: Thank you. You worded that a bit better than I did, in your ‘automatic condemnation’ paragraph. 🙂
I went off on a celeb the other day so, apologies if I am personally keeping you away. I haven’t used any ad hominen attacks on any commenter, though. Maybe I’ll break away.
Me too. I fully agree with you Claire and TheOriginalKitten. I mean, I may not agree with a celebrity or a commenter point of view, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to condemn them or say that their opinions have less than me. Everyone is different.
TOK wrote, “How did Jones giving her opinion become “she’s telling other women what to do”?”
I feel like that has been happening a whole lot recently. One person saying what works for them becomes received as if they are telling other people they HAVE to do something, or an attack on their way of living.
It seems like it has become team sports, you gotta pick a side, either passionately for or aggressively against.
Great dialogue; it’s given me something to chew on. I *generally* try to keep it humorous & light but in retrospect I’ve made some pretty shitty & narrow minded posts. Thanks for the insight & inspiration, ladies. 🙂
I agree with this sentiment. However, I’d rather hear it from a surgeon or a professor or a CEO. She’s a Hollywood actress and a celebrity. She owes much of her success to her physical appearance and the fact that she had famous parents. Her Mom was drop dead gorgeous.
And because of that she cannot state her opinion? Sorry, but she has every right to do so as anyone in the world. Opinions are not restricted to a person or another. You can choose to agree or not to agree with them, but that doesn’t mean their words have less weight.
If you agree with the sentiment, does it really matter who it comes from? Shouldn’t it be a “more the merrier” approach to its delivery? If we want young people to hear this message, do you think an actor will reach them first before a surgeon or CEO?
I love Rashida. “Celese and Jesse Forever” was one of my favorite overlooked films of 2012.
She’s right. I mean yes we are all going to age, and there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and looking good for your age. It becomes a problem when the individual becomes obsessed with youth and physical perfection (there is none). I will use Kim K as an example (because she clearly invests solely in her looks). Kim K looked better 7-8 years ago than she does now. Kim now looks “plastic”. To me what is sad about her is she can’t see that she was a naturally beautiful exotic looking woman. If she keeps up with all of the cosmetic procedures to achieve this illusion of “physical perfection” she is chasing after, she will end up looking like the wealthy socialite they call the “cat lady” (I forgot her name), Michael Jackson, or Lil’ Kim.
@Lendy – I’m so tired of everyone talking about “female empowerment”. Don’t write that book because what “empowers” you might not be the same for another. Women need to find that strength within from the Divine ON THEIR OWN. I do not understand why women feel like they have to always be measuring and comparing themselves and their lives to another woman. Live your own life. Learn how to stand on your own. I’m sorry. I just don’t like the whole collective womankind looking for some singular female savior to teach them how to be “empowered”. Empowerment for men and women will always be a solo thing and it will always ONLY come from the Divine (no one else). This is why Kim K can’t see for herself that she was a naturally attractive women (because self-esteem and self-worth comes from within).
Do you think a female can be empowered without beliving in the Divine?
Is a nose job considered an investment in the looks department because based on pictures when she was young, it sure looks like she had one.
Personally, I am okay with plastic surgery when it will help someone’s self esteem. I just think that Rashida is kind of fake.
I’ve looked at those pictures too, and I really don’t think she’s had one. Side by side, they look identical to me. The only thing that has changed is the size of her face, which makes her look more proportionate now.
If a nose job can make such a profound improvement in a woman’s appearance then it’s money well spent.
It appears that Rashida inherited her mother’s beauty and has lived a fairly privileged life.
@Lisa – There isn’t anything wrong with cosmetic surgery. If it makes you feel better then knock yourself out. Kim K was pretty before all of the surgeries. Kim naturally was a pretty girl (even with facial “flaws”). Guys were still trying to get at her.It’s just like how she can’t see for herself how ridiculous those butt injections look on her. She doesn’t need them, but something inside of her (or outside maybe Kanye) keeps telling her that she needs them. It’s sad that she doesn’t even see her own beauty and that she can’t stop chasing after physical perfection
She didn’t say you could never invest in your looks. She said:
“You can’t really invest in your looks as the only thing because it’s a depreciating asset.”
I could not AGREE with her more.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and beauty fades.
There is way too much focus on appearance, especially for women.
If we focus mostly on our looks and obviously, if we live long enough those looks will slowly disappear.
So, what are we going to be left with, as women?
It’s very prudent and smart to think down the road, when youth and beauty are gone.
Men age like wine, women spoil like milk, it’s how society sees the subject of aging, I have no power to change that thinking on my own, but I do have power to protect myself by investing my time, money and effort to achieve education and a career to last me onto old age.
There is nothing wrong with taking care of my outside beauty, but my number focus is the insides.
Why is it always the pretty women who try to downplay the importance of looks? I used to think of her as a less irritating Zooey Deschanel, but now I dislike each of them equally. Also, Rashida? You’re pursuing an ACTING CAREER. If you really believed that young girls shouldn’t invest in their looks, you would have chosen a different, less superficial career.
Also, you aren’t as smart or talented as you believe yourself to be.
Yes, she is an actress, but she is also a producer and is writing scripts.
She is doing more than acting, so she is relying on more than her looks alone.
I don’t understand why people go after her, she is right in saying that there is more to women than beauty alone.
She can’t help that she was born pretty, just the same as some woman who was born ugly can’t help it.
We should be more supportive of ladies that are promoting education and brains to the world.
Nobody needs a degree to show skin, that’s easy.
I think she has that self-righteous air (which could be entirely projected by the minds of observers) that just ticks people off the wrong way. I agree with KB…she’s an actress, not an elected representative or a teacher, so she has to really be careful how she lectures to people to avoid sounding a bit out of place.
Beauty for women is extra bonus in life.
Nothing wrong with that at all.
But I do think that it is very dangerous for women to rely on their looks.
It’s very smart to invest in family, friends, education and career.
I went to high school back in Spain with a gorgeous girl who became a model, gave up her education to model and travel the world.
She got into a terrible motorcycle accident, she was a passenger and was thrown into the windshield of the nearby car.
Her face was so badly damaged, she had 49 surgeries to somewhat fix her face.
The surgeons tried their best, but she will never look like she did before the accident and she is so depressed about it.
I hope she gets over it somehow.
I agree with Rashida.
Beauty is nice, but education is a must, absolutely crucial for men and women, but especially women.
I am just one of those women who wishes that she could be both beautiful and smart. Unfortunately I have never felt very smart (I have had plenty learning disabilities to overcome in school etc.) and I also never felt very beautiful (I have mild CP so that isn’t exactly physical perfection). I don’t know but I have always wanted to be both and I think it is probably best to be one of those women who is not only drop dead gorgeous but also very articulate and intelligent. I don’t get the anger for Rashida on this thread by some because I think she is right to direct girls to try and be more smart and not focus on their looks. I know only too well from experience how fixating on looks (I do have body dysmorphia) can lead to such horrible spirals of unhappiness. I think she is just trying as best as she can to tell us their is more. I only wish I had people in my life growing up who said such things to me about looks and truly meant it that they are not the most important of things.
In my opinion it’s every females responsibility to encourage girls and women to educate themselves. Prepare themselves for the harsh realities of life. A good education doesn’t guarantee a better career or a better life, nothing does, but it gives you a better chance than a high school diploma. Youth and beauty are great while they last, but what about after they are gone? What happens after?
Rahida is the perfect combination of her parents’ looks. I like her and think she’s smart and her message here is salient; girls can appreciate their looks, she is not hapring on that-but have a Plan B when those change (yes older women can still look great) and society treats them differently. That is a fact; women, even the former supermodel Paulina Porizkova have commented on this surprising reality that as looks change so must your focus/perspective. She’s written about the topic on HuffPost if anyone is curious about that (Porizkova). She is surprisingly funny and just fun to read. Anyway. I don’t take umbrage with anything Rashida says here. I think there are just so many people int he world with different views (and levels of passion about them) that *somewhere, someone* will take issues and say she’s being ridiculous. The cost of being a public figure!
The woman on the left- brown outfit, the mary jane t strap shoes- I love that whole outfit!
Good for her.
I used to be a successful model for years and I saved as much money as I could, so I could pay for my medical degree. I have a nice medical practice today.
I was also able to buy a very nice 3 bedroom condo in Manhattan and a brand new car before I finished modelling. I furnished my home, put money away for the rainy day. So my good looks that I got from Mother Nature or God had helped me, but I could have wasted my money away like so many models I have known. Education is a key to better life, it can pull men and women out of poverty, improve children’s lives and make life better for whole communities. We should support education for all and I’m glad that Rashida does. I love her comment.
@ Tiffany – No. You can’t because it comes from this deep place inside of you. We all have that sacred place. I wish I could show you so you could get it. I wish I could show that to anyone who has trouble fighting with that ugly inner voice that tells some they are stupid, not good enough, or ugly. I can’t really explain it to you (or show you) because you have to experience it for yourself by yourself.
Perhaps I am misunderstanding you. When you say “Divine” do you mean belief in God or a deity? I believe that women can be completely empowered without subscribing to a high power.
@Tiffany – It’s not a “belief”. God, the Divine, or whomever you want to call Him/Her is real and is in EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. I can’t explain it. You would have to see, feel, and experience it for yourself. You can’t be “empowered” without Him/Her essence and energy. It’s so strong and NO ONE can take it away from you. It’s amazing. The love. The warmth. The security. It’s beautiful.
Tadzio, I respectfully disagree that you can’t be empowered without believing such things. I am happy for you that you have found something that works for you, but I also find it a little bit at odds with what you wrote earlier. You wrote, “Don’t write that book because what “empowers” you might not be the same for another.”
Perhaps this Divine/God/Him/Her works for you and how you approach empowerment, but it might not be the same for all people. For example, watching Cosmos makes me feel alive and empowered through knowledge and science, but I understand others might have a different take on the universe and the energy behind it.
I think that maybe what she means is – invest in something that will stay with you – and not in something that is there to impress other people. If women invest in their looks for professional reasons – models, or s*x workers or “trophy-wives” or anything else is the sort – good for them – they are mindful of what the investment is there for. Maybe she talks about simply doing what is important to you, and not what society expects from you. Amassing degrees or money has the potential to be just as deceiving as investing in looks, if it does not give you a lasting and profound joy and satisfaction and is not triggered by a drive within. Certainly — our appearance is part of our identity and is not to be neglected and also some people just inherently have stronger need to be surrounded by esthetically pleasing items (themselves included). But basically – what she says is common sense: looks are temporary and they expire and you never know when they will expire – so don’t put all your eggs in one fragile basket that someone else is carrying.
I’m another Nina, and I agree. It’s very fleeting- the looks- and what she’s saying is that when you’ve lost ur looks, u better have something else. Of course if u want to invest only in ur looks, at least make a lot of money on it while u can so that when the looks are gone, u can either get plastic surgery(which rarely goes right, Christie brinkley is the exception) or at least live comfortably. Of course it’s easy to invest in all sorts of things that dont bear fruit-like u said, career, family are also no guarantee of lasting or intrinsic value. I put a lot of my eggs in my career, to no avail and now think I should have put more into my looks, finding a husband;) But at least scatter ur eggs around.
I really like Rashida and her message. I am curious about another topic. I work at a law firm and have noticed over the years that many of the stay-at-home wives of the male lawyers were lawyers themselves at one point. It seems as soon as they married and popped out their first child they quit work. So I wonder if they were following the philosophy of using your looks and brains to get a smart rich man so that they wouldn’t have to work. I don’t understand why someone would spend 7 years in school, working hard too, only to toss it all away after a few years just to raise the kids.
Well, that could be because the legal profession systematically pushes out women who have children. Love, a former Biglaw lawyer.
I think the context is all wrong. I’d happily listen to a professor, (serious) writer, full-time activist, or some other genuine feminist figure lecture me about all that Rashida has been trying to say. But seriously, she’s right in the heart of the most superficial industry in the whole world, one which as the cultural memory of bacteria. I don’t really see the point, except she is perhaps unconsciously using this ‘smart image’ to market herself as a figure of pop culture. For sure, she’s not trying to be a serious feminist, right? As they say, pop culture is an oxymoron. Trying to be feminist as a hollywood actress unless you’re a serious established actress like Meryl Streep or Cate Blanchett might be a similar prospect. You can talk about it like JLaw does as a side point when you’re asked about it, but really, trying to make a huge point of it is probably a mistake if you’re not a huge ‘genuine actress’ name. I think Rashida has a lot of fans, is an attractive lady, and is popular with her fans for a reason. But personally I find her ‘witty’ tweets and ‘intellectual’ convos really annoying. See Lorene Scafaria (Adam Brody’s ex) for someone who is smart, witty, and appropriately ‘light’ for their industry.
But the thing is, she has a platform– for better or worse, our society is so celebrity focused and gossip driven– and she is providing food for thought for young girls who only see Miley Cyrus and think they need to get their twerk on.. Why can’t she use her fame to speak about these issues? She’s a smart woman and it’s great to hear a counterpoint from an actress. Why is only Meryl Streep qualified to speak on these issues? I think she’s great and an inspiration for young girls that u can be smart, focused, and, yes, still beautiful (let’s face it, that is what many young girls aspire to as their looks bloom).
I agree with Rashida. Women are more than their bodies and faces. That is the foundation of her point. I don’t see why women feel the need to get offended. Is it because we’re sick of celebrities giving us pointers on how to live our lives?
She voiced her opinions, her concerns, her thoughts. As everyone is supposed to do.
How can someone interpret that as “telling women what to do” is beyond me.
It only shows that she hits a nerve there.
I love her. She is smart and a class act.