Cameron Diaz covers the May issue of InStyle. This cover is the only preview image so far. I’ll probably cover the rest of the shoot later this week if Cami says some weird stuff, which she always does. InStyle’s released a few excerpts, and Cameron’s sticking with the cheating theme of The Other Woman. She’s already told the world how everyone has or will be cheated on and doubled down on the statement. She also thinks that women should ask why they’re in the position of having a man cheat on them. These first two quotes are from InStyle, and the other stuff is from an interview the Mail dug up:
More sweeping statements: “I don’t know if anyone is really naturally monogamous. We all have the same instincts as animals. But we live in a society where it’s been ingrained in us to do these things. A lot of people chase after it because they’ve been told, ‘This equals happiness. They chase it, they get it and then they find out, ‘Why did I think this was going to make me happy? I’m miserable.”‘
Does she regret any relationships? “I’m 41, I’ve been through everything, OK? I’m grateful for all of it — whether it was something quick and passing or something that lingered too long.”
Singletons make married people uncomfortable: “I think some people want other people to make the same choices in life that they have made so that they can feel good about their own choice. I think that some married people have made the choice to get married, but when they see a person who is living a different way, it makes them stop and think, ‘Wait a second — you mean you don’t need to get married after all? You mean that I felt I had to get married, but you don’t feel that you have to?’ And if they weren’t too sure about their choice in the first place, that can make them very uncomfortable.”
She still likes relationships: “I’m totally down for love. And I now know that what is most attractive in a man to me is authenticity. I am attracted to someone who knows who he is. And I think that when a man shows interest in me, then it’s because he sees that I know who I am, too.”
[From InStyle & Daily Mail]
With some of the winners that Cameron has dated (Justin Timberlake, Jared Leto, and A-Rod), her perspective may be skewed. She hasn’t stopped to think about that part of the equation. Celebrities do tend to exist in their own little bubbles and think the same rules apply to everyone else. A lot of people are “naturally monogamous,” but some people like to use “instincts as animals” as an excuse. I had a dude try and tell me once that I should say with him even though he wanted to sleep with other people too. Because nature told him to spread his seed! Women (and men) can choose whether ot put up with these excuses or not. Not everyone is like the guys Cameron has dated.
Photos courtesy of InStyle & WENN
For the love of God, Cameron, shut the f**k up.
Amen.
I really want to give her one of those guy punches on her shoulder while screaming STFU Cammy. We get it, you’re jaded. Now let’s go drink beer and smoke a cig. (BTW, I don’t smoke but I will make the exception for her).
My sentiments exactly.
+1trillion
Amen amen amen!!
Much like Brandi, this will be the last link I click on with her name in it.
I second that motion! Why do people who can’t find it for themselves presume it must not exist. How about this? Perhaps you can’t find it because it doesn’t exist FOR YOU! There are plenty of happy monogomous couples – just not in Hollywood. Bitter much?
Exactly and I wish she’d shut up already.
And in nature there are plenty of animals that mate for life. There are animals that lay eggs. There are animals that asexually reproduce. There are animals that die immediately after mating once. She is a moron.
Word.
I so agree with all of you. Seriously, if I here one more asinine comment from an actor/actress/celebrity saying “Monogamy is just not natural”, I’m going to get punchy. It makes them sound so f’n ignorant. We may have certain animal instincts, monogamy might not be a natural instinct, but as humans we possess something animals do not…..logic.
Monogamy is about Respect. It may not be a “natural instinct”, but the point is to love and respect your partner enough to NOT want to cause them pain. To have some GD self control due to that respect for your partner for goodness sake. I’ve seen the mental damage infidelity can cause to others. If you have an open relationship, “an arrangement”, then go on with your bad selves. To me an open relationship=a lack of closeness in your relationship. Jmo
I also want to add, her continuing to insinuate that her married friends are envious of her single life, um No, they’re not. I have always been in a relationship, so it feels lol and I have always been lucky enough to have someone that allowed me freedom to be myself, travel with my girlfriends, etc. But I am always happy to go home to my family. We are separated now after twelve years together, but still best friends and I say both experiences can be great. Sorry Cami, your friends do not envy your lifestyle. They know they could live it if they wanted to.
Testify!
Shut. Up.
Turn her mic off, please.
+1,000,000,000
She hasn’t stopped talking for months – stop it!!!
she’s still at it? good god. STHU, lady.
Can someone please tell the people who use the animal excuse that there are actually several species that are monogamous and mate for life?
And that humans have mated for life for centuries. Not always successfully, but the attempt has been made.
More than several… actually many. Pair bonding is a normal and powerful compulsion in a host of species, including humans. Cam’s had such bad luck choosing men she projects her own experiences with cheaters onto the entire human race.
Exactly! It’s her way of saying, “I’m not a failure and I don’t have bad taste in men. Monogamy is simply a myth.” Some of us have been with our parnter for a long time w/out any cheating or betrayal. There was a lady I used to work with who had a cheating boyfriend. He told her all men cheated and if they denied it, they were liars. I had us all double date for dinner one night. Her boyfriend couldn’t look me or my husband in the eye. Sadly, she stayed with him and is probably still with him – believing his dillusions so she, like Cameron, can tell herself it’s like that for everybody.
Seriously! Albatrosses, wolves, coyotes, swans, beavers, bald eagles, penguins, barn owls, gibbons…schistosoma mansoni worms…
No not penguins
The albatross and the whales, they are my brothers. Time for a cool change.
Yes. African and Magellanic, Gentoo and Royal penguins mate for life.
Pigeons too right?
@ Ginger
Why yes! According to Encyclopedia Britannica they do indeed. Coo coooo.
Yes, and that if you’re only attracting the animal-type, perhaps the problem lies w/in yourself – why do you seek out this type? Stop tryiing to be the “I’m so fun, I’m up for anything. I don’t need marriage or kids. I’m kinky and don’t need commitment.” Um…who do you think is going to be knocking on your door? It isn’t going to be a nice guy with morals.
I am really fed up with stars claiming that monogamy isn’t possible. Get your foolish head out of Hollywood and look around – most everyone else is having a go at it and many have been paired up for life. It’s no use projecting these people’s odd outlooks on regular people.
You are so right. I wish I would have added that to my previous comment as well.
Honestly, knowing the dudes that she dated were all douchebags and/or horndogs, I can’t take anything she says about relationships seriously. Absolutely nothing.
Spot on!! Exactly my thoughts……..
Right. I also agree with someone on here who said that she just can’t comprehend that everyone isn’t the same as she is. If she can’t be monogamous, nobody can. If she’s been cheated on, everybody has. Etc.
Any Psych or behaviorist would tell her that she purposely seeks out these types because subconsciously, she doesn’t want it to work out. She is the one who is afraid of commitment. Repeatedly going after the obvious douchebag types is simply a passive aggressive approach to non-commitment. They’d also tell her she is selfish for attempting to change these types of men. They are who they are and are actually usually quite honest and up front about it. It is she who seeks to get something from them they aren’t capable of giving. She would be told she is selfish and afraid of a long-term relationship. It sounds backward but that’s how this kind of character is analyzed. It’s not about who cheats, but more about foundations that were laid at the onset and unrealistic expectations.
This is also when the patient seeks a new psychiatrist. 🙂
I am an LMHC and I’m not sure I would make the same assessment. I would, however, want to explore why she feels this idea to be true, and challenge those beliefs with information on monogamous animals. This perception she has is coming from somewhere, likely because of the people she is exposed to. In her world, this might be true in her eyes. What’s interesting is why she feels the need to apply this universally – this certainty seems like resignation and rationalization. Selfish? Never something someone in my profession would say. We might think it at first, but usually being selfish comes from a very real place of insecurity or repeatedly being taught one is entitled. I hope your feelings on the mental health profession isn’t coming from a therapist behaving like that to you… If so, run!!!
Exactly, Cameron, you don’t know, therefore stfu.
Completely agree with Bedhead on this one, such a lame “science and nature” excuse to sleep around (and I wish people would stop preaching it like they’re anthropologists) – no one has proven that humans are meant to be monogamous or polygamous. People can live how they want, different strokes for different folks and all that.
I’ll keep it on those 2 cents.
Precisely, Val. There are lots of natural instincts we curb – the urge to aggression and fighting is one we restrict, even though it’s obvious that many people are prone to it. Additionally, the impulse to self-control is as ‘natural’ as the impulses to polyamory, and the ‘natural’ consequences of STDs are another ‘natural’ reason to want a monogamous relationship where you respect your partner’s rights to bodily autonomy, and not expose them to what could possibly harm them. To argue something isn’t for you (and it’s fine if it isn’t for you!) because you don’t think it’s natural is pretty poor logic. These words don’t mean what she thinks they means. But hey, I still like her all the same. She seems sweet.
That’s interesting, I’ve never heard the STD reasoning, but it makes sense. Have you listened to Christopher Ryan’s TED talk (“Are we designed to be sexual omnivores?”)? He argues that humans have been quite promiscuous, it’s an interesting talk. I’m not sure what to think about the whole thing… on the one hand it makes sense to pair off for successful child rearing (c.f Helen Fisher), on the other hand you have arguments like the above, saying that initially we would have been more like chimpanzees (everyone with everyone).
I don’t have anything against Cameron at all, I think she is harmless and seems like an overall nice person.
Poppycock. Humans that do seek monogamy do so because they love their partner and do not want to share that part of them, their body, the acts, the bonding. They don’t want to share their’s or have their partner share their’s. When we love in that way, we are possessive and stingy. And of course, there’s the whole moral thing – we, unlike animals, have a conscience. It is the part of the brain we use they don’t and that separates us from animals. Except for dolphins – they are gradually being proven to be every bit as intelligent as we are…probably more so.
“and I wish people would stop preaching it like they’re anthropologists)”
This always makes me laugh. I want to ask “Oh where did you get your Anthropology degree from Cami?” SMDH
Case in point: Ethan Hawke!
I can’t wait for her to stop promoting Chasing Papi 2.0 and that book of hers, I’ve really gotten tired of hearing what she thinks about everything.
Chasing Papi 2.0 OMFGGGGGGHG Was that not THE ABSOLUTE WORST TRIPE EVER!! Im glad it tanked Verastegui and Jaci Velazquez. Careers a Bf Made me watch that, we broke up soon after!, Christ!
Guess I’m alone here. I actually liked what she had to say and I agree with it.
*climbs into bunker*
Me too. All I took away from it was that people live different lives. Some married, some single, some monogamous, some not. To each their own.
LOL You don’t have to climb into a bunker cuz you agree with her.
I can’t agree with Cammi because I never agreed with generalisations anyway… regardless of what’s been discussed….
I don’t have a problem with her, or any of her statements. I don’t really agree with the first but it’s different for everybody.
I was watching The Sweetest Thing yesterday, I had forgotten how much I loved that movie.
@Bluemarie – I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!!!!
I think I may have Diaz exhaustion, but it wasn’t as bad as other comments. That said, there are a tremendous number of animal instincts or biological programming that we intentionally deny, since we want to live in a society that isn’t all harmful, including things like: rape, murder, infanticide, defecating and urinating where ever and whenever. Some animals are more monogamous than others and lust does not always equate to straying from a partner and so on. Humans, as opposed to other animals, have the ability to delay gratification and make decisions based on logic, the feelings of others, consequences of actions, and the future. Animals basically live in the here and now and getting needs met at this time isn’t weighed against tomorrow and repercussions.
^I hope you weren’t expecting her to say all of this. You need to readjust that bar, kiddo…put it way, way lower.
But seriously, everything you said is true……yet I’m still not convinced that I’m meant to be with one person. I don’t think it’s “animal instincts” as much as I don’t see myself getting everything I need from one guy. Plus, I truly enjoy all the different interactions I have with different men…I don’t know. I guess this is why I’m a bit of a Cammy apologist-I think we have very similar mentalities when it comes to dating–the difference being that the men I date aren’t douchnozzles.
You will never get what you want or need out of any one human. I wouldn’t want to have to be EVERYTHING to another person. That’s why you need to maintain relationships with different people even when you are in a committed one. But I have no problem with people who don’t want to ever make a commitment. Those people are having honest interactions with others. Having said that, what bothers me is that what she said is too often used as an excuse for breaking a commitment, as though it is something beyond human control, which it is not. It’s like anything else that is contemplated in life with risk versus reward and consequences to others who may be impacted by it.
Agreed. But to expound on your argument-I think that part of the problem is society dictating that marriage and commitment IS what humans are “supposed to do”. It creates this feeling of pressure where people who might honestly not feel ready to commit to one person do so because it’s what’s expected of them.
My point is that it would be great to live in a society where people were supportive of others’ choices without promoting one lifestyle as “ideal”.
I think for me, it’s more about being honest with myself. I would never cheat, but I also know that I have trouble committing to one person. I often feel judged for that, when I feel like people should respect the fact that I’m honest with myself and what I’m capable of. I don’t know…do I sound like I have a hang-up about it?
Let me have my three boyfriends and you can have your husband and let’s just kumba-f*ckin-ya, cheers, smoke a bowl, etc etc
No doubt that society wants a ‘one size fits all’ and we should allow for different frames. Although in Diaz’s case, based on her statement about not leaving bad/cheating relationships soon enough, it sounds like she is not advocating so much for her own lifestyle choices, but bemoaning the lack of commitment she got from men, and then rationalizing it as something that happens, you get cheated on, because to commit is against nature. While in those cases, it wasn’t so much that they cheated on her because ‘biology’ so much as because ‘douche-baggery’, with BIG signs on the road ahead (along with bells, whistles, sirens and being hit over the head with mallet.
But Kiddo–how one feels about monogamy is not necessarily a stagnant thing.
For some of us, it’s an evolutionary process. There could have been times in her life where she felt like she did want a commitment, but then didn’t get it and that might have changed the way she views relationships in general. It doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom. The woman is 41-years-old–I’m sure her perception has evolved based on lots of trial and error, mistakes, and yeah, heartache.
I mean, when I was 22 I thought I wanted a serious relationship. It lasted for a year before I f*cked it up. When I was 23 I was in a 5-year-relationship. It worked until it didn’t. Do I have the same mentality that I did when I was 22 or even 28? Not even a little bit. As we experience different connections with people, we learn what works and what doesn’t, we refine our perception of what we want in a relationship. I mean…isn’t that normal? Are you gonna say that because I wanted a serious relationship at 22, that I must still really-deep-down-inside want that at 35? No way, man..people change, we grow.
I can accept that, but she is horrible at articulating anything any where near that, and so she should be speaking about it? Why not just retell her own specific development instead of presenting it as a sociological study? And yes, I realize it is her opinion, but do you see how it makes more sense when you phrase it in terms of your own specific experiences as to why you have arrived at that opinion? She shares none of that.
Should she be speaking about it? Of course not but that’s never stopped a celebrity before.
Well, she’s not gonna share personal experiences because if she did, that would just open up the door for the reporter to ask questions about A-Rod’s tiny d*ck and Leto’s BSDM tendencies.
I like her, too, I’m just ready for her press tour to be over (I feel that way about most people when they’re promoting a movie; not just Cameron).
I’ve never been a big fan, but she doesn’t really bother me. A lot of things she says are typical “guy” things to say, and maybe that hits people the wrong way. I kind of like it, even when I don’t agree with it. Any woman in her 40s who hasn’t married and had kids, and who doesn’t act like that equals a life wasted is cool to me.
When I was little I remember girls talking about how cool it was that the Wilson sisters from Heart were single and childless in their 30s, and at the time I was WTF? Now I get it.
I was just coming to say the same thing. I side-eye some of the stuff she’s said in the past but her comments here seem quite astute and reasonable to me. I don’t expect her to be as articulate as she could be and I don’t expect everyone to say imo all the time. I just assumed that’s what she meant.
I know what she’s talking about. Those married folks who say stuff like, “Oh, you’re not married/don’t have kids? You’re going to regret that” are the worst. Can you imagine telling an expecting couple that they’re going to regret having their baby?? Ugh. Those are the unhappily married folks who say stuff like that though. The happy ones normally don’t care what you do.
I don’t have a problem with what she’s saying either-it just that it’s gotten repetitive. The comments about monogamy I agree with to a point. Everyone (even those of us in monogamous relationships) sometimes fantasizes about being with someone else. I don’t know anyone who’s married or in a long term relationship who only is attracted to their spouse. I’ve been with my husband since 1996 and have been married to him since 2005 and although I have never cheated there have been many men I’ve found attractive and at times I’ve been tempted. I’m sure my husband has found many women attractive and has been tempted to cheat at times, too-we just don’t talk about it. I chose to be monogamous but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy.
In terms of the comment about people wanting others to make the same choices they do so they can feel validated she’s absolutely right and I agree with her 100%.
I agree with her as well.
As for “A lot of people are “naturally monogamous,”” – Not that many actually, if you look at the divorce statistics, and that’s not even counting those who cheat and get away with it, or are forgiven (time after time).
Ah! I liked what she said too. Though I don’t agree with generalizations and think human beings have different needs, I also think that it is very hard to feel attracted to and/or fall in love with only one person for a long period of time. Maybe if people live in a little bubble.
I don’t get everything I need from one guy. I have fallen for many. Even when I was in a long serious relationship I fell for other men. But I know that care and support are the true base of a relationship and try to keep that in mind.
Sweets, Stay dating douchebags and you are gonna continue having that impression, also That Cover Outfit is EVERYTHING!! (Jesus the belt!!)
That outfit is EVERYTHING! I thought I was the only one that noticed 🙂
I agree with everyone else and my god is the cove awful .
She looks like that weirdo Ukrainian Barbie.
I thought she looked like Ukrainian Barbie too! They went WAY too heavy with the photoshop on her face. It looks like a cartoon.
I am usually a little less critical of photoshop in fashion magazines because it is fantasy, etc., but that is just really poorly done.
It looks like a picture taken during The Mask years, not a current photo. Why does everyone have to be Photoshopped into oblivion? Do they really think we won’t buy the magazine if (god forbid!) we see a wrinkle?? *gasps and clutches pearls*
i’m glad she doesn’t speak for anyone but herself.
broken record here but she should get an education. her “sexy dumb and fun” roles are not going to keep coming. what will be left, dumb and easy? she sounds scattered and stupid most every time she speaks. telling people nothing is monogamous (hello, cranes, et al) and we’re all mindless hormonal animals, ugh. putting out a book about feeling good, being healthy and loving yourself when she has had multiple procedures and seems terribly insecure, UGH. life relationship advice from CD? UGHHHHHHHHHH!
she is really starting to raise the rage in me.
that said, i hope she gives goop all sorts of dating tips and sets her up with the typical CD dude. total hilarity.
also, since we’re all animals, women just need to breed uncontrollably until we die? great.
she’s right, she’s no feminist.
That cover pic has got to go in the record books for being one of the most Photoshopped ever.
ENOUGH, Cammie. We get that you’re in a movie called The Other Woman.
She really is everywhere lately and when she talks she makes me dislike her even more. It started when she was in that movie when she was the teacher and was a total slut and swore–whatever it was it was raunchy and since then my opinion of her went down. Although I love her style, always have. That belt is awesome on the cover.
We know that some people are not monogamous. But some are and enjoy it very, very much. I do not envy my single friends nor feel sorry for them. It is the life they choose so why would I be? Society did not “expect” us to get married and 50 years ago it would’ve been impossible for us to marry anyway.
So speak for yourself, Ms. Diaz. Like I said further up, this is the last thread I’m clicking with her in it.
For someone who has everything (beauty, fame and wealth), it’s so sad to hear those are the only kind of men she’s ever been exposed to: the non-monogamous sort.
I don’t feel bad for her. Her statements imply that she’s not monogamous herself, so her relationships are probably fairly happy, at least when it comes to that issue.
I just wish she would learn the difference between talking about her own preferences and experiences and generalizing to the rest of the human race. Also, it’s getting pretty heavy-handed given the title of her latest movie.
Why is it sad? See, this is exactly what she’s talking about. Because she doesn’t feel the need to get married, society makes it seem like she’s “missing out” on something.
Maybe she deliberately chooses to be with men that don’t want anything serious?
I’m trying really hard to not project here but I just find the “poor-single-woman-who-is-worthless-without-a-man-by-her-side-and-should-just-kill-herself-rather-than-go-through-life-alone” narrative so effin exhausting.
Go get married. Please. Get married and breed and enjoy your domestic life. I fully support your life choices.
Me? I’ll be f*cking a 28-year-old fireman in a fire engine and loving every second of it so please don’t pity me.
I think @Obsidian just means that it’s sad that she’s never really been with someone who wouldn’t cheat, I remember a post where she said she believes that everyone has been cheated on and everyone will be cheated on.
It’s one thing to not be monogamous out of choice but it’s another thing to feel like you can’t ever be in a monogamous relationship because it’s an impossible thing.
Maybe she was speaking about herself? How do we know that she was always monogamous?
Maybe monogamy IS impossible for her…I just don’t see why that’s some terrible thing, as long as she doesn’t create the illusion that she CAN be monogamous.
She doesn’t sound unhappy or sad to me. She seems like she’s content with her life choices.
EDIT: I feel like Lunchcoma and I are saying the same thing. What irritates me about a lot of the comments here is the subtext that ALL women want to mate for life, as if we’re not all individuals with different lifestyles and varied choices in life.
She’s not just talking about men when she makes those annoyingly broad statements about monogamy. She’s including women, and likely including herself. If she’s not fond of monogamy, she’s probably avoiding (intentionally or unintentionally) guys who want that. I’m guessing men of that type aren’t interested in her, either.
I think that’s a lot less sad than Cammie telling a story about how she dated a great guy who wanted to be monogamous and disappointed him. It’s not like dating a monogamy-prone guy would change her own relationship preferences.
+1
Well if she is talking about herself then she isn’t being a particularly straight forward and honest person. ‘Cheating’ means that you have told someone that you are committed to them. If you aren’t the commitment type then don’t try to have your cake and eat it too. KWIM? You are holding THAT person back from finding someone else who is willing to be dedicated to someone and who wants that in return. Break it off before you start sleeping around. Don’t tell me you don’t see it coming.
Uh-oh…semantical argument brewing…
Not at all O’K, she started with the ‘everyone cheats’ thing and that she owns, whether she wants to or not. As to what you mentioned above, I had a wild ride in my early 20’s and was also in a committed relationship in later 20’s that didn’t work out. But we broke up and then went on to others. Neither of us ‘cheated’. And when I went berserk with seeing a lot of different guys, I didn’t cheat, because they knew what the deal was.
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be a jerk about it. I’m actually really cool with people’s individual choices and experiences with honesty. I think I just had enough with the traveling Diaz show, so this is really my last foray into it. I hope no one is angry with me or offended. I really didn’t mean to start trouble
And BTW, balls and all.
I feel like I need to see the original quote in its entirety before I make a decision about how far I’m willing to go to defend her. This would require some extra clicking and reading and I’m not sure I’m willing to commit to that (see? I can’t even commit to an opinion).
I sort of like The Travelling Diaz Show. It’s like the carnival that comes to my hometown every summer minus the roller coaster, cotton candy, and you know…general fun.
Not enough balls.
Oh exactly.
Wanna know the surefire recipe for fun?
Just add balls.
“Me? I’ll be f*cking a 28-year-old fireman in a fire engine and loving every second of it so please don’t pity me.” Ahaha! This comment was awesome!!!
@Kitten, I actually agree with most of what you say here, and I don’t necessarily think Obsidian meant to offend anyone. I think it would be “sad” too, if – Cameron is monogamous and seems to always pick a guy who isn’t, or if Cameron wants to be monogamous and can’t follow through. BUT, if she’s not monogamous herself and does not seek it in her partners – nothing sad here.
Earlier I thought she was just stupid, now I’m starting to feel sorry for her. Someone or most men she dated did a BIG no on her, for her to think like this.
Yes , you twit…some people are!!!
I can’t wait till her press tour ends.
Oh, Cam. I’ve always liked you, but I hate that you’ve become someone who makes me roll my eyes whenever you open your mouth. If you truly believed that people weren’t meant to be monogamous, you wouldn’t have flipped out on Justin Timberlake at the Golden Globes (or was it the Oscars) that year that he and jessica Biel got together.
See, this is why I prefer celebs be silent and mysterious — because the more Cammy goes on about this subject, the sillier she’s starting to sound. All men cheat — well then why *should* any woman ask herself why she’s found herself in that situation, since all men cheat? I feel like Cammy actually has some specific thoughts about this, but isn’t good at articulating them.
Sometimes I really wish I hadn’t gotten into celebrity gossip like I did. I used to like Leann Rimes, Kristen Stewart, Shia LaDouche, Jared Leto before I got into celeb gossip. I feel like the less you follow them/see them, the easier it is to like them. I don’t mind what Cameron’s saying much (a lot of people have said this to me, even in real life) but it’s the fact that we hear another one of her “quotes” so frequently and it’s slightly overkill now.
Exactly! It’s overkill
Or she doesn’t want to articulate them.
Stop beating around the bush, Cami, name names, dates and places! If not, Lohan is better than you because at least she put her list out there.
Dear, just because you have godawful taste in the Menz…
Isnt this the 3rd interview on the same subject ? Getting repetitive.
My girlfriends and my friends used to debate this in our mid-twenties. If she hasn’t figured out what she wants by age 40……….
Why is she still talking? All she does is spout platitudes about the entire human race trying to keep herself relevant.
Go away now, Cameron.
I was in a serious relationship with a guy once who I discovered was cheating. I broke it off and he begged me (and I mean begged!; flowers, jewelry, the works) to give him another chance. Not gonna lie. I considered it. Then he mucked it up by saying, ” By the way, when we get back together, it shouldn’t be serious. I feel like I should be seeing other people because I’m not ready to settle down yet.” Yes. He said that. With a serious look on his face. I never knew that there were so many curse words in my repertoire.
Wow… what a douchebag.
LOL. Glad you got the ego-boost of the begging and prezzies AND the satisfaction of kicking him out on his arse. Good on you!
I agree with her statement about how people in a relationship are uncomfortable with single people that are happy with it!
It’s not easy to sustain a long term relationship. And to come across people that are single, free, doing so many things can be destabilising.
As for monogamy being natural. She’s probably right too!
But rather, whilst most people may not want to have several partners at once, it will be hard for them to stay with the same person for 40 years or more.
That’s why the divorce rate is so high.
And that’s why also people marry so much later. Because they understand that even with a ‘soulmate’, a very long relationship is hard to sustain.
I think Cameron Diaz disturbs because she speak a lot of truths.
And I can see it in the comments..
I really don’t get this whole “monogamy is unnatural” argument. You being able to connect with strangers on the internet, is that natural? Technology, modern medicine, are those natural? Monogamy might not be what you’re personally into and that’s fine (it’s your life to live and you know yourself better than anyone), but there’s no way to make that blanket statement without being wrong.
Ok, yeah I agree that the blanket statements about monogamy are annoying. Different strokes for different folks. My parents have been married for 45 years..it seems insane to me but it works for them.
I wish we could all agree that monogamy works for some people and for others it just doesn’t.
@TOK yes girl, it’s so simple, everybody just needs to do what makes them happy and stop pitying/judging people who live differently to them 🙂
I’ve had a steady boyfriend since I was 18 (I’m 23 now) but I definitely don’t see anything wrong with dating around and having fun as long as you’re being safe and you’re respecting other people.
No non-single/married woman is uncomfortable or jealous of another woman that’s single unless they are in a bad relationship. Believe it. Most women would rather be with someone, being bored all day with them than have a carefree, single, lonely lifestyle.
And this is coming from someone who has that carefree, single lifestyle. Singledom has it’s perks, but at the end of the day, sleeping alone at night BLOWS.
Being stuck with a boring person all day long is my worst nightmare.
…and why are you sleeping alone?
Anyway, I enjoy having the bed to myself sometimes. I also enjoy having a guy in my bed. But most of all, I enjoy sex on my terms.
I don’t need non-single/married women to be jealous of my lifestyle because I don’t need the validation-I’m secure with my choices.
See, the thing is that it’s not a competition–we can all live our different lives and be happy about it, right?
OK, I got together with a bunch of gal pals a few weeks ago. Several had been married all their adult lives (we’re all in our 50s and 60s) and several, myself included, have never married but had a number of long-term relationships that ended for one reason or another. The married women did nothing but moan about their husbands and say how they wished they were single. I have to say that when I was in my 2 long-term, living together relationships, I chafed at the constant “togetherness”, had to deal with adultery from both guys, and slept alone most of the time, which I love. I have a hard time sharing a bed. I relish my alone time, and also like going out of the occasional date. I have a good social life, man or no man.
So no, I would rather be with me, not “bored but at least in a relationship”. That would be hell for me – been there done that.
I sleep alone by choice, lol. I’m waiting for the right person to share my bed with. Maybe it’ll happen, maybe it won’t. Only time will tell.
I’d rather complain about being bored (and when I talk about boredom, I’m referring to the routine of marriage… eating together, sleeping together, the occasional movie, etc… then press repeat) in my relationship than being single. I’m guessing that most of those married women are complaining probably b/c the “passion” in their relationship has waned, which, and that happen over time during the course of a marriage. Passionate love eventually turns into companionate love, and you have to do things from time to time to keep the excitement that you once had in the beginning going. That’s just the reality of marriage.
Those women may complain about wanting to being single, but unless they are in a bad marriage, I’m sure if they had to choose on being “married and bored” or “single and lonely” (from Chris Rock’s Never Scared special)… they would choose the boring marriage. Trust me.
I don’t think she disturbs because she ‘speaks a lot of truths’, I think she disturbs people because all she’s been doing lately is making blanket statements, and having difficulty even articulating those properly. She’s having verbal diarrhea and assuming everyone feels the same way she does.
I have issues with her saying monogamy is unnatural, when it IS natural to many humans and animals alike. I have problems with her saying every single person cheats or is cheated on, when it’s not the case. In general, I have no problem with her statements if she’s only talking about herself, or people she knows. To say that these are things that EVERYONE does/experiences is wrong.
I get that she’s promoting the movie and these are the questions she’s getting due to the subject matter, but sheesh. Enough.
Dear Cami (and everyone else who uses the “instincts as animals” excuse):
To take us down to our basic animalistic instincts would be to deny that which makes us human–logic, reason, and self-control.
I don’t think monogamy has much to do with survival of species. I think humans are being most HUMAN when they are monogamous.
“I think humans are being most HUMAN when they are monogamous.”
Explain what you mean by that statement, I don’t understand what you mean.
I think she means that humans have highly developed intelligence and are able to reason so when they control their so-called animal urges they are acting more like humans.
But, I don’t know. It’s like the argument for becoming vegetarians because we are more developed and spiritual. Humans are omnivorous (just like apes) so to say that one way of eating right and the other is wrong just doesn’t make sense.
She looks amazing on that cover. Love the outfit and accessories.
I think she worded it strangely but get what she was saying about some married people feeling like singles have made the wrong choice if they don’t want to get married.
She’s answering questions! I don’t think she’s just climbing on her soapbox and saying what’s on her mind. The journalists interviewing her are asking questions based on the theme of the movie she’s promoting. I’m giving her a pass.
Besides, I understand (and agree) with a lot of what she’s saying. Everyone should operate how they feel works for them and she probably feels that her views are in the minority of what society wants. She thinks (as do I) that some people also identify with her views but don’t feel like they can be single and not commit. That’s kind of sad – do what’s right for you. Not what you think is expected of you. I also don’t think she’s saying you should go out and bang a bunch of guys at the same time but a lifetime with one person is a lonnnnnggg time. I don’t see what’s wrong with having a few monogamous relationships throughout your life. Who you are now may not be who are you in 20 years. How can you make a decision about forever right now when you don’t know how you’re going to feel later? You should always have the right to change your mind. I get that if you’re married you should try to stay committed but we’re talking about human emotions here. They don’t follow logic sometimes. If you think you want to sacrifice and stay committed just because you made a promise decades ago then that’s a promise no one should take lightly. Also, you can’t predict how your partner will change and evolve over time. Would you stay in an arrangement if he or she has changed drastically and makes it hard for you to stay? I feel like there are just so many variables here.
I agree with you. And I wish female actors were asked less stupid questions…
She’s answering questions! I don’t think she’s just climbing on her soapbox and saying what’s on her mind. The journalists interviewing her are asking questions based on the theme of the movie she’s promoting. I’m giving her a pass.
Besides, I understand (and agree) with a lot of what she’s saying. Everyone should operate how they feel works for them and she probably feels that her views are in the minority of what society wants. She thinks (as do I) that some people also identify with her views but don’t feel like they can be single and not commit. That’s kind of sad – do what’s right for you. Not what you think is expected of you. I also don’t think she’s saying you should go out and bang a bunch of guys at the same time but a lifetime with one person is a lonnnnnggg time. I don’t see what’s wrong with having a few monogamous relationships throughout your life. Who you are now may not be who are you in 20 years. How can you make a decision about forever right now when you don’t know how you’re going to feel later? You should always have the right to change your mind. I get that if you’re married you should try to stay committed but we’re talking about human emotions here. They don’t follow logic sometimes. If you think you want to sacrifice and stay committed just because you made a promise decades ago then that’s a promise no one should take lightly. Also, you can’t predict how your partner will change and evolve over time. Would you stay in an arrangement if he or she has changed drastically and makes it hard for you to stay? I feel like there are just so many variables here.
Animals also smell each other’s butts, eat their own vomit and roll in poop. The “we’re all just animals” excuse doesn’t cut it for me.
I went out with someone who asked me how many people I was seeing beside him at that time. I was like “Ummm…” I thought he was surely joking, so I pretended like I was counting and finally said “Four!” And he was like, all serious: “Okay, that’s not too bad. We’re kind of even. I’m seeing three more.”
I never went out with him again.
Lol your response to him was good. Even if it’s crazy, it’s best he told you instead of straight up lying to you and acting like you were the only one. I would have done the same as you. Thanked him for letting me know and never called him again.
I get what she’s saying about marriage. I was married once and it was terrible. I’ve been single for years – literally YEARS – and it confuses the hell out of everyone but me. Some people genuinely want to see me coupled up but I also know that some people def. think “hey, I’m miserable and I think you should be too.” Some people are selfish (like me) and cannot handle the day to day of what the institution of marriage demands (in most cases). I know I’m a freak of nature to most people because I don’t even date, but it’s really not for everyone. I’m one of the very few that thought Carrie Bradshaw should have ended up alone instead of with Big. After seeing the movies, I’m guessing even Carrie feels that way now lol.
@Shannon – similar here. Though I like dating and emotional/physical closeness that comes with it but living with someone, much less starting a family and all is very hard for me.
I totally agree. Marriage isn’t for everyone. And it is way better to recognize that than to get married or stay married if you are not into it.
I was married once, in my twenties, and it’s simply something that has zero appeal to me. Not something I want to do again.
the problem is that people think: natural = good. or that it can be an excuse. torture, rape, murder, all of that is natural for humans. that we dont do this regularly is a pretty recent accomplishment in our history. in the west, in other parts its a lot more common.
so whatever monogamy is, cheating can never be excused by “its natural”. nor can any other thing.
imagine a world where people only do natural things. do you think your neighbor would ask you on a date if he wanted to have sex with you? do you think your mother would use the toilet or just take a crap on your carpet?
im happy that i dont have to live in a world where people can get away with behaving like animals “because its natural”
Why should cheated-on women ask themselves why they’re in that position if cheating is perfectly normal? Forked tounge.
It is great seeing a single actress fighting against the stereotypes of the sad, aging spinster. However, she does have a tendency to generalize and might be a little defensive given her past relationships.
I hate the it’s not natural crap. Like others have already stated there are animals that are monogamous. And there’s a lot of natural instincts that are bad that we fight.
Humans are too complex for her sweeping statements.
I have no problem remaining monogamous. While I can appreciate an attractive person, the thought of cheating makes me feel nauseated. There’s a connection that my husband and I have that has made all the difference in my sex life.
Single people don’t make me uncomfortable. Getting married isn’t the solution to everyone’s happiness. I feel like I know more divorced people than couples that stay together.
You know what’s really uncomfortable? Watching a couple that’s clearly unhappy and knowing they’re about to crash and burn.
What the hell is wrong with her face?
I don’t think she’s supporting the natural = good argument. There are plenty of things that humans do that are natural and plenty that aren’t. And I don’t think it’s fair to say we have to be in one camp or the other on everything. Humans have a lot of choice so whether you choose to remain single or not should be your choice. I understand what she’s saying though because her choice may be an unpopular one and her viewpoint may be one in the minority but who’s to say the one society has decided is the right one for everyone? It was decided and shaped long ago by people. Men, most likely. Preferences and ideology evolves. Maybe in 100 years people will be dumbfounded to hear that marriage was for life. Do we think traditional marriage is right for humans because it truly is right or because it’s what we’ve been taught?
Very many animals in the world are monogamous.
I’m tired of celebrities and other jerks trying to shill this nonsense. Whether anyone is “naturally” anything or not is, at this point, nearly impossible to say. What you choose to do is what you are, and so long as you’re honest and don’t hurt anyone, it’s no one’s business but your own.
Why do Hollywood celebrities, who live in perhaps the strangest subculture any humans have ever lived in, think they can speak for the human experience anyway?
@TheOriginalKitten : I can live my life differently and be happy. You can too, but there are others who simply cannot. They have this compulsive need to always measure, compare, and compete with others because of their own fears and insecurities (they are always projecting onto other people). This is how they measure their worth and position in the world. Also, I too find the whole “poor-single-woman-who-is-worthless-without-a-man-by-her-side-and-should-just-kill-herself-rather-than-go-through-life-alone” narrative not ony exhausting, annoying, and belittling. It is also 100% BS.
@Jaded : I also cherish my alone time. I HATE constant “togetherness”. It makes me feel like I cannot breathe. There are a great deal of women who would rather be bored and in a relationship because like you said at least they are in a relationship. Those women just do not care as long as they have a man that is the only thing that matters to them.
@Shannon : Carrie Bradshaw annoyed me. I was more of a Samantha/Charlotte kind of girl. I always wanted Carrie to end up with Aidan. I LOVED Aidan.
@EmilyC : Maybe it is difficult for Cameron to face the fact that those guys she dated just didn’t want to be monogamous with her. Look at Timberlake. He ended up MARRYING Biel. Cameron is like the attractive woman who just cannot accept when the guy she is interested in rejects her. Women like Cameron in this situation lie to themselves and will convince themselves that the reason why that guy wasn’t interested in them was because HE was “gay” or some other lame excuse to handle the blows of rejection. Denial is a beyotch.
Perhaps her “trying to be everything to everyone” act is the reason no man wants to commit to her. Ugh. She’s insufferable.
“I think some people want other people to make the same choices in life that they have made so that they can feel good about their own choice. I think that some married people have made the choice to get married, but when they see a person who is living a different way, it makes them stop and think, ‘Wait a second — you mean you don’t need to get married after all?”
I can’t believe that I’m about to wholeheartedly agree with this because usually Cameron’s grand statements cause my eyes to roll so hard they hurt-“All women are attracted to other women!”-but this quote and frame of thinking 1000% has my seal of approval. I found all of this started to happen to me right around the time most of my girlfriends began hitting their 2nd and 3rd years of marriage a few years ago; you know, when all that glow and euphoria begins to wear off…
On the one hand they would always call me complaining about just how “awful” unattentive and unhelpful their husbands were most of the time and how exhausted taking care of little ones 24/7 made them (why would they think a happily single by choice non-mommy like myself would constantly want to listen to that I have no idea) but almost in the very same breath they would ask me “when” I was going to get married and have kids?! I mean, because it all sounded so awesome?? (Never mind all the times I’d get asked to babysit and all the dismissive little remarks and implications about how “not serious” and “unimportant” my activities of choice on MY OWN free time were when I’d say no because I had plans.) Cameron’s completely right when she says that being happy, single and fully independent really does start to make your married friends “uncomfortable” after a certain point. It’s like, suddenly the ppl that you’ve known forever don’t know what to “do” with you anymore if you’ve decided not to make the same life choices as them or not in the same time frame. (Remember that episode of SATC?) It’s ridiculous!
Bottom line: There’s nothing wrong with marriage and kids at all but neither is there anything about deciding that that life is not for you.
I am very happy with my hubby.
We met on a blind date April Fools 1989, married 1992.
Both around 57 years old now.
Excellent marriage, even with one child along for the ride.
I love being in a relationship but not the type to be so connected, like Yoko and John. I have a very busy separate life from hubby. and we are VERY different people.
WE have been monogamous now for….25 years?
I like that belt though.
I think she is only talking about this to promote the movie, the more publicity her statements have the more publicity the movie has, and the movie is about cheating so she is going to talk about it and say stupid things like that. Behind every interview there is an orchestrated agenda and pr move.
I agree. There’s no way to know what she really thinks. This is just PR, words are wind, Jon Snow. So can we talk instead about the ‘shop job on the cover photo and how she looks like she might unhinge her jaws and bite someone’s head off in that photo in the black dress with her open-mouthed smile? Scary, and I can’t put my finger on exactly why.
OMG yes, the photoshop is horrid, its the first thing I noticed when I opened this link. I think they gave her a nose job or something like trying to make her nose like a Doubtzen Kroes’s nose. A pointy, perfect straight nose but failed. Very bad makeup or photoshop editing.
There was a time when InStyle was truly a fabulous magazine that I looked forward to every month. Now it’s just a bunch of drivel with dimwits on the covers.
Anyone else notice this? Maybe it’s because I’m older now, but I don’t think that’s it…
I mean she chose serial bed hopper Leto as boyfriend years ago, how the hell did she expect not be cheated on? LOL