Another day, another rumor that Gwyneth Paltrow is a smug, insufferable d-bag. I know, how shocking. I mean, I have to give it to Radar: they know their audience. When most of us hear any story about Gwyneth being insufferable, we’re like, “Yep, I bet that’s true.” And it probably is. Considering what she’s said publicly, it’s not hard to imagine she’s even worse privately, when she doesn’t have to self-censor for the peasants.

Anything you can do Gwyneth can do better! Park Avenue princess Paltrow and her rocker husband Chris Martin are having the most amicable divorce in Hollywood history but RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned that her smug attitude about the split is wearing on her friends.

“Conscious uncoupling’ has become a joke among Gwyneth’s friend,” a source close to the 41-year-old Country Strong star told Radar. “All she’s doing is bragging about how peaceful her divorce is and how she and Chris planned it so perfectly that it is hardly disrupting their lives.”

Paltrow has become the butt of jokes too, with Joan Rivers slamming her for her uptight attitude, with the 80-year-old comedienne saying she has a “stick up her rear end.”

And her website GOOP, where she made the announcement about her divorce is bleeding cash as Radar has reported, but none of that seems to phase the cool blonde beauty.

“Gwyneth has always thought she had the most perfect life and even though she’s getting a divorce and both of them are getting bad press she doesn’t care,” the source told Radar. “She has become insufferable saying how happy she is with the way everything is evolving. It’s so ridiculous to listen to her talk as if nothing bad is going on at all for her. But Gwyneth has always had a protected privileged life and this is no different.”

[From Radar]

One of my favorite headlines to come out of the Consciously Uncoupling was The Superficial’s “Gwyneth Paltrow Officially Declares Marriage Is For Poor People.” It’s so true. Gwyneth thinks that whatever she’s doing is the most cutting-edge thing, that she’s ahead of the curve. She really believes that divorce is the new “thing” and that only peasants stay married. That’s what this reminds me of.

Also, as I said on Friday, this week’s Goop-letter is all about everyday toxic products. Gwyneth offers suggestions (expensive suggestions) for how to rid ourselves of toxic chemicals in every day products. The funny thing is that she names a product from Jessica Alba’s Honest Company… and Gwyneth only gave it a “C” grade. Sort of:

Doesn’t sound like Jessica Alba and Gwyneth Paltrow will be joining forces anytime soon. On Friday, April 25, the recently uncoupled Paltrow fired off a GOOP dispatch from Hong Kong. This week’s installment of her lifestyle newsletter/website, entitled “The Dirty on Getting Clean,” is all about safe, non-toxic and environmentally friendly cleaning products—and at least one item from Alba’s own lifestyle brand, The Honest Company, gets a bad grade. “Many of the ‘clean’ products I proudly use (and have even touted on goop) have turned out to be a product of marketing, rather than actually safe,” Chris Martin’s future ex-wife wrote.

Deferring to Gregg Renfrew of skincare and cosmetics company Beautycounter as well as the Environmental Working Group (EWG) for expert advice on which products are truly safe and which ones aren’t, Paltrow, 41, writes: “I will never give up my perfume, but maybe I can switch to greener and unscented laundry detergent, and remove some of the hand soaps I thought were great until I checked them on EWG.org . . . Food for thought.”

The lengthy post then goes on to explain the hidden hazard (“80% of the chemicals in personal care products have never been tested for safety,” Renfrew says), all of the health risks involved, and then lists dozens of products and their “grades” as provided by EWG.

In the “What We Were Using” list is The Honest Company’s All-Purpose Cleaner, which was given a “C” by the EWG. EWG.org notes that Alba’s product “May contain ingredients with potential for acute aquatic toxicity; respiratory effects; nervous system effects,” and similar products from the Method and Green Works brands get a “C” and “F,” respectively.

Fellow actress/aspiring lifestyle guru Alba seemingly threw more direct shade at Paltrow last March while promoting her book The Honest Life: Living Naturally and True to You, she sniffed of Paltrow’s advice to moms and other women: “Gwyneth Paltrow probably lives a very similar lifestyle, but I didn’t grow up with a bunch of money, so my tips are much more grounded: repurposing things and making things at home,” she told the New York Daily News.

[From Us Weekly]

That will teach that peasant to move in on Gwyneth’s territory. Dame Gwyneth is grounded! Just yesterday, she spoke to a peasant. She saw someone with dark skin and she asked them to retrieve her Mercedes. He was all, “Ma’am, I’m not a valet” but Gwyneth just ignored him until he brought her car around. And people claim she’s not grounded.

Photos courtesy of WENN.