Pamela Anderson was at a fundraising event in Cannes for her animal rights group, the Pamela Anderson Foundation. She gave a speech to the crowd in which she revealed that she was molested at age 6, raped at age 12 and gang raped as a teen, leaving her suicidal. It all sounded horrible. Pamela said that her love of animals helped get her through the tough times.
Addressing the audience at the launch of The Pamela Anderson Foundation, an advocacy for animal rights, the actress surprised the crowd of 200 guests when she took the mic and opened up about her painful past, beginning with being molested as a little girl.
“I did not have an easy childhood. Despite loving parents, I was molested from age six by a female babysitter,” Anderson, 46, said at the Cannes Film Festival event, which she attended with husband Rick Salomon, according to The Daily Mail.
Six years later, the former Baywatch star had her first “heterosexual experience” when a board game with an acquaintance turned into a horrific ordeal.
“I went to a friend’s boyfriend’s house and his older brother decided to teach me backgammon, which led into a back massage, which led into rape,” she said. “He was 25 years old and I was 12.”
After a boyfriend “decided it would be funny to gang-rape me with six friends,” Anderson admitted she “wanted off this earth,” reports Radar Online – until her love of animals helped her heal.
“My affinity with animals saved me, they came to me naturally. The trees spoke to me. I wasn’t sure why I was alive – a burning question, a quest,” she said. “My loyalty remained with the animal kingdom. I vowed to protect them and only them. I prayed to the whales with my feet in the ocean, my only real friends until I had children.”
A rep for the star tells PEOPLE: “We’re not commenting any further regarding Pam’s speech at Cannes.”
That’s so sad and heartbreaking. I hope that she feels ok now. I hope that the fact that she’s talking about it means that she’s feeling like she’s ready, like she’s healed. Pamela’s awful story makes me want to protect my child. My heart goes out to her.
You can learn more about Pamela’s advocacy work on the website for her foundation and through her twitter and Facebook accounts. She has done a lot of work for charity over the years.
Photo credit: WENN.com
Horrific..ugh
Totally.
You’re only as sick as your secrets. Love her bravery for letting this out, finally. Helping herself, helping others. I’ve always liked Pammy for some reason. She just always seemed pretty nice.
Actually, she already talked about some of this in that autobiographical novel she wrote a few years ago, ”Star”, saying that posing for Playboy helped her feeling like she was in control of her own body again. Regardless, it’s incredibly sad.
I was just wondering about that, whether these ordeals contributed in some way to her hyper sexual image.
It’s gross speculation and I hate thinking that a woman wouldn’t feel entitled to embrace her sexuality due to predatory exploitation of such but I found myself wondering.
It occurred to me as well – Jenna Jameson talks about similar events in her childhood as well, and I wondered the same thing when I read her autobiography.
I wondered the same thing. I am glad she found healing with her work with animals. I wish I could say that this story surprised me about her, but given her behavior over the years, I suspected something had happened to her. It’s very, very sad what she has gone through.
@Miffy,
I think a lot of us wondered about that. It’s difficult to imagine that her horrific experiences didn’t effect many of her decisions including Playboy, romantic partners, and other decisions. The speculation about how all of that affected her isn’t gross, the idea that she (or anyone) actually has those experiences is heartbreaking.
@Tulip Garden
I kinda get what Miffy means. It does feel off to wonder whether a woman who enjoys her sexuality was molested. It sort of limits the choices we can make with our bodies without being automatically labelled damaged. Back in the day, a woman who defied social norm in that way was actually diagnosed with a “feminine hysteria” and locked up until she was willing to conform. We dont lock women up anymore, but we still slut shame. There are exhibitionist females who are not just reacting to childhood trauma after all.
Chem, precisely.
There are plenty of exhibitionist women who did not undergo horrendous trauma, they don’t flaunt their sexuality to prove a point to former abusers or because they feel some connection between their sexuality and their self-worth as a result of abuse or whatever (not that I’m saying that’s what Pamela Anderson was doing with her career, just grossly speculating). By the same token there are plenty of abuse survivors who don’t hyper sexualise themselves either.
I’m cautious to mull over the notion that women who are comfortable with their bodies, their sexuality, etc are somehow traumatised. It feels archaic to assume so but it’s hard to not wonder if there was a crossover between Anderson’s abuse and her hyper sexualised career trajectory.
I think this is a possibility. The other possibility is people become scared of sex. My co-worker told me she was molested by an “uncle” when she was younger and she grew up dreading sex or didn’t exactly enjoy it. She went into therapy but she attributed her trepidation over that incident in her younger years.
@Miffy, speaking from personal experience, it does play a part. Because I was molested at a young age and by multiple people, I was also very hyper-sexual (oh and my was I hypersexual.. I would go for any man I could, I would sometimes seek out much older men just for the sake of it when I was 14/15) up until I hit 20 really (which I then sought therapy for). It sounds almost horrible to say, but when you have gone through a traumatic sexual experience, for a long time, you devalue sex. You don’t see it as a romantic, personal, or even a healthy activity that consensual adults seek; no you see it as control, power, a tool, a way to feel worthy.
But that’s where therapy comes in, even though it will always be with you, at least my perception of sex has changed. I enjoy it, and I no longer feel that the only way I can interact with men is through sex.
I really feel for Pamela, It’s very hard to deal with sexual abuse as a child. I’m glad she came out to speak about her childhood abuse when she was ready. Honestly, that’s one of the best ways for victims of sexual abuse to heal.
@Leen, I’m so sorry to hear that. Well done on getting to the bottom of it through therapy. That can’t have been easy.
As to everything you said, I had always wondered (but obviously it was never appropriate to ask) about whether victims of abuse devalued sex as a coping mechanism. I never even thought of it being as a control or dominance thing. Your comment was an eye opener. Thanks for sharing!
Funny how you guys look at Pamela Anderson as someone who is so comfortable with her body when I totally see otherwise, I see a lot of overcompensation and uncomfortableness. *shrug*
@Leen
I was hyper-sexual as a teen, and I still am.. Yet I was never abused in any way, but had a happy and safe childhood. So no, even if you acted out by being sexual, it doesn’t mean that its often the case. Id say its more 50-50. Please dont generalize an awful issue like childhood abuse.
@Miffy, Thank you, and you are right it wasn’t easy but it’s a step in the healing process and that along with being in a relationship with someone who was passionate and understood where I was coming from, it helped alot. And to sex as a tool of power, often it’s because rape is a form of exerting power, you start associating sex with power as well.
@Kitt, Ofcourse not, I never said that acting out sexually meant you were abused, I just said that in my personal experience it did play a part. There are many people who have a healthy attitude towards sex, one of my best friends is quite hypersexual and she was never abused in anyway; she enjoys it, seeks it out and she always has the greatest stories to share, and honestly good for her! It wasn’t in my case, and I wasn’t generalizing, I was just sharing my personal experience.
was just goig to say. Good for her being able to talk about it, but this isn’t the 1st or 2nd time she’s talked about this.
There’s always damage from trauma at a young age. She does seem sweet if not naive. At least her heart is in the right place.
Nightmares. Oh, man. I guess this explains alot. Sad and horrible.
Yeah…. women who act like this usually dont have such a healthy past and cant seem to imagine a way to connect with other humans except through their bodies, which are tools for other peoples amusement. I am not the least bit surprised.
I was a hyper sexual teen and believe it had a lot to do with being molested at 7. I also happened to be molested by a young woman (the teen daughter of the nanny/sitter) but the experience taught me that other people placed great value on my body. I confused the lust people had for me as love and affection and I used my sexuality to exert power over others. I was also very afraid of sex and touch. It was very confusing, as it was simultaneously empowering and dehumanizing. I wish I could better describe how I came to think that way. It was greatly flawed and illogical, but its quite common for young people to respond the way Pamela did. I’m so glad she shared her experience because it helps others better understand why she behaved the way she did and why other women act out similarly.
@MorticiansDoItBetter, I actually said the same thing a few posts up. I was also molested by several people at a young age, and for a while I was very hypersexual as a teenager. Often it felt that the only way I knew how to connect with other men was through sex. Not intimacy, not love. I was very afraid of intimacy, but sex was nothing to me. People act out in different ways, especially when you have went through such a traumatic thing at a young age.
Many women who were abused as a child/teen go out of their way to de-sexualize themselves. I did. Cut my hair, refused to wear make up and dressed like a prep. Two other points: When you are molested by a woman, nobody believes you. When you are abused as a child or teen, it takes years to talk publicly about it. Good for Pamela Anderson, writes this owner of four dogs!
Yes it’s horrible…..but why does it seem like this happens only to celebrities whose star power has faded….?
None of the current B-List to A-List actresses ever seem to have been raped/molested….and many of them did not grow up in rich neighborhoods.
What are you implying?
Thank you for asking this question, Aurie. No matter the tone or logic, there are no dumb questions. I choose to believe that HOW you asked this question is just out of ignorance and a genuine wonderment as to WHY we never seem to hear about childhood sexual abuse and/or adult rape until a Celebrity is well after their peak earning power.
First, their team would NEVER allow them to talk about anything as harrowing this because it’s perceived as hurting their hire-ability. Second, it’s the NORM for child sex abuse victims to disassociate from their trauma and to not even recognize it as rape and/or sexual violence until years and years later! Third, the inner child of a sexual violence survivor keeps recreating their childhood trauma in their adult intimate relationships until they are resolved. Last, but by no means all, helping others is one way people cope with or heal from sexual violence and engaging in altruism is a major indicator of healing.
The “Truth About False Accusation” infographic below was put together by the Enliven Project using 2013 data from Department of Justice’s National Crime Victimization Survey and FBI reports. False rape accusations are exceedingly rare, despite what media reports might suggest. Almost as rare are cases when rapists actually go to jail.
Pamela Anderson is a Victor over adult and child sex abuse because to me the term ‘survivor’ implies it’s the best you can expect vs. not only healing, but thriving. IMO she is a heroine who shows us all that one person has the power to make a difference and that your life can have unexpected meaning.
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm
http://beatingtrauma.com/2014/01/03/losing-others-losing-me/
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3947809/?report=reader
http://theenlivenproject.com/the-truth-about-false-accusation/
Thanks you Sloane for the links. The graphic showing the amount of rapists that are reported then convicted literally took my breath away. It’s hard because by the time you believe yourself and are brave enough to do something about it, it is much easier to just let it be. Then seeing something like that makes me feel so guilty.
Stephanie, please don’t feel guilty. I totally respect your decision, and I’m a 1000% certain you absolutely did what was right for you. You are not to blame. There is no right or wrong way to feel or act after a rape.
I didn’t mean to imply in any way there is a ‘right’ way to heal, so I’m really glad you replied. Thank you. Just by ‘talking’ about your experiences here, it could make all the difference in the world to someone or many someones reading this thread.
From talking with my friends, virtual and in RL, I believe these everyday conversations by us ‘ordinary people’ move mountains and that we all are here for each other. Stephanie, How can I best support or help you?
What does that have to do with anything? The fact that it happens to anybody, no matter who they are, is horrible.
I saw this story on another site and there were plenty of negative comments saying Anderson was only saying this for the publicity for her failing career. It was very sad to see so many people take this negative position about someone coming forward with a statement of childhood sexual abuse. One person actually wrote that it would have been more credible for her to name the people who abused her. I am glad to see that the responses on this site show more compassion.
I suspect it is common though. It takes a lot to accept your past and share deep dark secrets as Pam did. I am willing to bet a lot of “a listers” have experienced abuse. We just have not heard it.
…because molestation and child abuse only occurs in low-income neighborhoods?
So you actually think that Pam Anderson and other stars make up tales of abuse for exposure?
Ugh. The skepticism of people like you just makes it harder for victims of abuse to come forward. Gross.
The reality is there is deep shame and sorrow in molestation and rape and abuse.
She may now be at point in her life where she can accept the “irony” or “contradiction” as judged by others —bc she was successful for her sex appeal. She may have felt conflicted bc her identity and success was wrapped up in her perceived sexual confidence. Ultimately she may have thought her value lay in her sexy body. At the same time she may HAVE FELT PROUD to be pretty and valued and all that. There is a lot of shame and confusion with abuse anyway- add to that her kind of success- being a pin up and the sex tape-
In some ways she knew exploitation as “normal” or at very least as “common” and even somehow “ok”
It takes serious courage to come forward and say this happened. She may have felt dirty and unlovable or feared she would be deemed as much.
Proud of her that she is embracing and loving and accepting herself. Bravo Pam, what you are doing for you will empower others to love themselves <3 you are not unworthy. It was not your fault. And you are loved. Hugs
TOK
To be fair some women have made up stories about abuse and later either had overwhelming evidence disproving their claim or took it back on their own.
And to me it’s those false claims that made it difficult for my claim to have been believed. Not others who had no clue of the situation simply denying it happened to me.
Still, I respect pamm for doing what she did. I’ve spoken somewhat openly about what happened to me, but I personally know none of you. In my life only my immediate family and husband know. To stand infront of an audiance must have been so nerve racking(wrecking?), but also empowering for her.
I actually think that this revelation explains a lot about her career direction.
“So you actually think that Pam Anderson and other stars make up tales of abuse for exposure?”
Some do (and have in the past – it’s not a new “phenomenon”).
By no means am I doubting P.A.’s word here – all I am saying is, yes, it does and did happen. And yes, some do/did it for exposure or for eliciting sympathy.
It’s a sad fact of (celebrity) life.
Heck, I even know a person or two who are not celebrities yet they made up such stories all the same. You may be surprised at how often this particular ordeal is misused for base ego-purposes.
And I say this as someone who has been raped repeatedly myself.
N.B. Usually it’s not those who have actually been raped who make up such stories.
@FLORC
False claims are very rare. Around 1-2% of rape or sexual assault allegations are false.
The perception of rape allegations as false is part of the problem. The assumption is that if the the DA or SA office declines to prosecute or if the Jury finds a defendant not guilty then that means the person made it all up.
In essence rape culture is why rape allegations are not taken seriously.
Merritt
I just don’t believe that number or that it had much impact on me. Here’s why.
People that only lay claims and never follow through with cops. People that start rumors. That is damaging enough and it really happens. My undergrad University was full of a rash of girls over 3 years time claiming rape. Almost all were quickly removed from the school because a camera caught them elsewhere or they were logged into te school network.
Now when I say not being believed was a true fear of mine when I came forward in college during this, it was not this rape culture that I feared. It was the very real and large number of people making false claims and to instantly be dismissed because of specific and recent instances.
Where I grew up and went to school was a very sheltered place in that way. Not a lot of people knew about what was happening internally with the school.
@FLORC
Many rape victims never go to the police. That doesn’t mean they were not raped.
I’m truly sorry if no one believed you.
The concept of people making false allegations is simply not true. It is very rare. Given how Colleges and Universities have been handling rape, it should be clear that rapists are getting away with rape after rape, and the only people getting punished are the victims. This is why so many schools are under investigation right now.
are you kidding me?!
“None of the current B-List to A-List actresses ever seem to have been raped/molested”
that we know of. often these things don’t come out until the person is ready to address the abuse they suffered. Anderson is now ready to talk about it publicly.
but please, don’t assume that, just because the person has not spoken about it, that it hasn’t happened to them.
ETA: I’ve always sort of had a soft spot for Pammy, because even though she was a mess at points, she always seemed like a nice person.
Thank you. It takes a lot of time and work to be able to confront and talk about abuse that horrific. Younger actresses probably don’t talk about it because they can’t. Pamela is simply at a different level of maturity.
I have to say, I’ve never been a big fan of hers but these pictures are wonderful. She seems so calm and beautiful. Given what she has gone through, I hope she has found peace.
I’ve always liked her because she seemed to be in on the joke.
How do you know they’ve never been attacked? Maybe they just don’t feel ready or comfortable talking about it. Many people have experienced things in their lives that they don’t want to share with others let alone the world.
And whether or not the neighborhood is a wealthy one or not doesn’t have a thing to do with it either. Rapists don’t discriminate based on wealth, age, or race. What a ridiculous thing for you to say.
In Aurie’s defense, so many “celebrities” make up or elaborate things for covers and attention, participate in “reality” shows that are scripted etc, etc, etc. So much of thins industry is based on lies and manipulation it’s not so far fetched that someone would think it was a desperate attempt at attention.
I tend to believe P.M. though, because she doesn’t have a history of that kind of behavior. Also, because that kind of hyper sexuality is often a result of sexual abuse in a persons youth.
And that means what? Perhaps, and it’s just me throwing this out there, other actresses are NOT READY to speak of their abuse and Pam is.
Wow, your comment makes me blush to be human.
OT: Where’ve you been?
Vacation – missed you guys!
Whoa there – we have no reason to doubt what Pam is saying – no one from her past has come forward to challenge this – so we should accept it as truth. We have no idea if any of the so-called current A-list actresses have ever been molested – don’t assume Pam’s doing this for attention. However, I think that women – and men for that matter- how have suffered abuse or trauma of any kind, would be drawn to a life in show business because it brings with it the potential for attention, validation, mass approval – things they can substitute for the love and security they lacked as children. Why else would anyone willingly take on a job that leaves them open to savage criticism? Because the rewards, IF they make it, are stellar. Frankly, I think a huge portion of people who seek a career in show business are damaged in some way. Just because they choose not to discuss doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.
This.
Aurie, for all of those A or B listers you are concerned for – maybe abuse happened, maybe it didn’t. There is no ‘timeline for telling’ – and if there was, it would be different for everyone.
I applaud Pam for her courageous honesty. Keep on keepin’ on, Pam!
AURIE that is despicable. I agree with you that some celebrities seem to manufacture “poor me” stories right when they have a movie coming out. As a survivor of abuse, I promise you it takes DECADES to banish the suicidal thoughts and create a little pebble if self-worth you can hang onto. Just look at Pamela – she cut her hair, wore no makeup, and finally told the world her story. My opinion of her just changed 100%.
37% of rape/molestation victims are harrassed by a family member.
75% of them are harrassed by someone they know.
It has nothing, NOTHING, to do with wealth, race, ethnicity or religion. Rapists and molesters unfortunately come in all different shapes, colors and backgrounds. From William Kennedy Smith to Ariel Castro.
Exactly.
And some studies show that 1 in 4 women have been raped/sexually assaulted in their lives, so sadly, it isn’t surprising that we are hearing about it happening to yet another woman.
Probably because celebrities, understand the victim blaming culture of society. It is usually not until after the height of their fame has faded or they have died that any abuse is revealed.
Most rapes does not fall along the lines of what Fran Drescher or Connie Francis experienced with a stranger breaking in. Most is like what Anderson described, where it is someone you know and had a certain level of trust in.
Trust me when I say that child abuse can happen even to a kid from a upper-middle class family with powerful parents. Sometimes it’s just about trusting your nice, rich neighbor’s oh-so-perfect kid who so graciously agrees to babysit you for a few hours. And then it can take decades coming to term with it yourself, let alone letting other people know.
Hugs.
Same. Neighbors oh so perfect kid ! I was 4-6 years old and remember it clear as day.I remember the curtains and the bed spread and what the babysitter wore all of it.I didn’t know at the time that it was wrong. And I’m from the generation that you just didn’t tell so I never did.You move on but you never forget.
@Tiffany : Thank you so much. It took me a long time to even accept that it happened to me but I still haven’t told any of my family.
@ Aqua: Yes, you never forget. I was about 3-4 years old and most times I wish I could forget.
Comments like this make it that much harder for survivors to recover and share their ordeals.
Aurie
No to add to the pile on, but many people don’t talk about what happened to them. Pam had a message here. How her love of animals started and why it’s so important to her.
And it’s just as likely with those who are stars now that they are keeping quiet about abuse in their past. Not that it hasn’t happened unless you need to grab a headline, but I do see what you were trying to say. I just don’t think it applies here.
First, molestation and rape don’t only happen in “bad” neighborhoods. They happen in wealthy households, middle class homes, back allies, schools, churches, mosques, in front of your grandma’s house, and behind your dorm.
Second, have you ever considered that IF current A listers have been raped & molested, they aren’t telling because of the backlash that would result from people like you?
And third, go Pam! I hope her advocacy gives her purpose and peace.
I understand where you’re coming from. It does sometimes feel like a bit of easy publicity for fading actresses, but I don’t think that’s the case here. Sometimes they don’t have the courage to admit something as horrific as this until after the limelight has faded. The pressure is off to be perfect, so to speak and they can then open up. Just my 2 cents. Terri Hatcher didn’t admit to her molestation until she realized the guy was still hurting little girls.
Actually this or some version of it happens to about one-in-four women you know, regardless of their profession. Don’t be one of those people that assumes sexual abuse is rare. It’s a step away from doubting victims.
May have a lot more to do with age. It takes decades before many victims of sex abuse can “tell their story,” so they often tend to be middle-aged. But even that is speculation. Causation/correlation is not something I’d want to mix up here.
Because its a “safe time” to make such waves. If she is in her prime, and comes out with a statement like that, it will ruin her appeal (at least to some degree). Because now you cant look at her without thinking about her abuse, and feel sorry. But also now, it doesnt matter as much if people know, at least not to HER, since she isnt clinging to a career like before. It wont ruin her career or taint the image she tried to generate.
Victims often carry a lot of shame about abuse before they come fully to terms with it, and someone who is climbing to or fighting for the top probably wouldn’t want something like that public while developing their image and trying to build their career. Someone like Pam who rose to the top, then steeped down for a quieter life is more grown up, realizes it’s nothing to be ashamed of and that she has a platform to help others as well.
Makes sense to me. I hope you’re not implying “fading” stars use this to drum publicity. Also I don’t see Pam add a fading star trying to stay in the spotlight. She has a different life now, and she lives it voluntarily and happily.
That’s got to be one of the dumbest comments I’ve ever read. Who else has come out
on the B-list to state they’ve been gang-raped? Not Tori Spelling, that’s for sure. Pam may be many things we don’t agree with, the uber-sex kitten flaunting herself, but she’s gutsy and honest. She clearly has had struggles coming to terms with her sexual abuse – girls that young tend to blame themselves for being too pretty or too outgoing or whatever. It boils down to the fact that she’s now in a comfortable enough place to talk about what happened to her and how she found solace in her advocacy for abused animals.
Good for Pam, may she continue to be an advocate for those beings who don’t have a voice for themselves.
or it seems, rather than at Cannes, that she could have come out with this information while Rehteah Parsons case was in the media limelight – and helped teens in this situation.
The line ‘despite loving parents’ sends chills down my spine. It’s terrifying to think that despite your best efforts as a parent the big bad world is always just one nightmarish ordeal away. The poor thing, that’s a lot of innocence to lose so quickly at the hands of many, many creeps.
+1. There are very few people that I completely trust when it comes to my children. It’s frightening to think about how many creeps there are in this world.
I am right there with you, Nicolette.
That’s what I was just thinking. You try your best as a parent, but sometimes it isn’t enough. My heart hurts for her and her parents. Now, I need to hug my kids tight.
I pray she’s found peace and happiness now and it sounds as if she has. I’ve always liked her. On another note, I love the shorter do; it looks great on her.
Love her hair like that, too…and her legs! I know you can only see one but….DAAAAAMMMMMMNNNN. girlfriend’s got some GAMS.
I had attentive, over protective parents and I was drugged and sexually assaulted at 15 by an older co-worker. Trust me, as a parent now it makes me SICK to think about when my kids are out of my sight.
Peace to you, Delta Juliet.
Oh Delta Juliet, that’s terrible.
That sends shivers down my spine as well. Hugs to you Delta Juliet.
That’s why as a parent you need to get educated and know what to look for. There are very specific signs that someone you know is a predator. Our local police held a class when my children were young and I learned a ton. As a former teacher, I knew parents whose children had been molested by people they trust. I now understand how they could have missed it. It doesn’t have to be this big unknown that we don’t know how to recognize. The class also taught us what to do if the worst happens and our child is molested. That was a huge help too!
As for Pamela, I think she is trying to be clear that she doesn’t blame her parents in any way.
@Lucinda,
I can completely appreciate where you are coming from, but please don’t believe there are always signs. Sometimes the predator is in your home, and it’s the most unexpected and destructive situation you could ever imagine.
My ex husband is in prison for the next 35 years for hurting our daughter. I did everything right. My four children had never been babysat by anyone other than my mother, and I trusted the one person in the world I thought I could, their father. He didn’t hurt our boys, just our daughter.
You can never be too hyper vigilant, and the most devastating thing I have had to come to terms with is that you truly do not know what ANYONE is capable of.
@Sunshine, I completely understand. The predator in my world came from within the family as well, and chose his victims with particularity – only attacking the most vulnerable, least likely to stand up for themselves, or to tell. Even with the utmost of vigilance on the part of those charged with caring for the children, hidden abuse occurred. For me, this is the most difficult part to ‘get over’ – that a person I trusted and protected, for years, could be capable of such atrocious behavior. Sometimes it feels like my family was infected by a monster. I applaud your strength, Sunshine. I have seen parents crushed by this, and the fact that your husband is serving time for his crimes is a great victory, as so many do not get prosecuted (as happened in my family) and are left to continue to hurt others. I am so proud of you, Sunshine. Best wishes of peace to you and your daughter.
I do think that is horrible. Would it be really inappropriate to talk about her eyebrows?
yes it would.
Agree. Not today.
Lmao, I can’t.
I think she looks great, the best I’ve ever seen.
No. This is still a gossip site. That’s what happens when you age and tweeze for years and years.
I like her shorter hair, but she could use some weight too. Her current husband is awful. Professional celebrity husband and recorder of bedrooms Rick S.
I’m glad you brought that up, FLORC. I’m scared Rick Soloman is her pimp. Pam is struggling, but still working very hard to make a difference. Weirdly, I’m even more proud of her for continuing to speak out in the midst of her private life being tabloid fodder. Very few people are black or white and live a life of absolutes.
I know LiLo was molested, but the difference between her and Pam is stark in their character. I hope Pam gets the strength to pull away from such a Class A ratdick.
Horrible for anyone to have this type of stuff. No wonder she feels closer to animals, they don’t torture, lie or rape.
They rape. Just not us.
And i’m fairly certain my cat (appropriately named Chairman Meow) knew what he was doing to that red squirrel by not killing it for days. Only that’s called “playing with food” even though he didn’t eat it.
I am so proud of her for revealing her story– healing herself while providing so much hope for others. It takes a lot of courage to let abuse be known. Banishing secrets by bringing them into the light is the only way to rid yourself of shame… I know this from personal experience. I am so happy for her!!!! She is a beautiful person.
Agree! This!
Reading her story makes me think there may be no such thing as an overly protective parent when such depraved behavior exists.
This.
When I was in the 6th grade a girl at school invited me to a sleep over. My mother said “no, I don’t know that family” I was so mad at my Mom and embarrassed to tell the girl I couldn’t sleep over. Now that I have my own kids, I think….”way to go, Mom” You can NEVER be to careful when it comes to your kids.
My parents seemed overprotective if not a bit paranoid about such things, too, and now I am thankful for it.
Pam’s story shows how it is often people who are trusted who commit such horrible acts. As a lady from our local children’s advocacy center once said, we adults tend to be wary of strangers lurking when child sexual abuse is most often perpetrated by a trusted individual who knows the child.
Mrs. Pitt–my parents are the exact same way. We were never allowed to sleep over anyone’s house, if my parents didn’t know the family. Which was annoying when I was younger—but now I understand.
My parents also didn’t ever leave us with babysitters ever. When I was a baby–with me and my twin–my mom went out for the first time in a long while….we were about the age where we were crawling and standing up. She left us with a babysitter, was on her way out, but came back twenty minutes later because she forgot something. When she can back, I had a quarter sized bruise on my face. She asked the babysitter what happened and she said that I had fallen.
My mom put her thumb to the bruise, and it was the same size–basically the babysitter had, for some reason, been squeezing my entire face with her hand. And that was the last time we were ever watched by a stranger. My parents didn’t really go out, until we were old enough for one of us to watch the rest–not that they even really go out.
My mom was the same way, and I used to get so mad. Now I understand why she did what she did.
ETA: Virgilia, I won’t leave my daughter with a babysitter I don’t know well. I have a lot of friends who use care.com to find sitters, but I just don’t feel comfortable with it. I know not everyone has a lot of options, but it just freaks me out. My mom had to send me to a woman’s house before and after school growing up because she worked long hours. This woman watched five of us and had to get us on and off the bus. I have very thick, curly hair that was (and still is) hard to manage. When this woman would do my hair, I would cry and scream because it hurt. She hit with with a metal brush on my bare skin, and burned me with a curling iron more than once on purpose. She was very nasty and I would end up crying and hiding in her bathroom. She would tell my mom I squirmed too much while she was curling my hair, which caused the burns. I was too scared to tell my mom the truth until I was an adult. I know that my story is mild compared to what has happened to others, but it definitely has made me think twice about who I let around my child.
I always think that’s a bit of false security though, like teaching kids about stranger danger when for most children the danger will come from the people they know best. You could be BFF’s with your child’s friend’s parents, and they could still be abusers. Hell, statistically your child is at far less risk at some random friends house than at home with their own family. Unless you are the only adult they come into contact with, you can never be sure they’re in good hands.
@Penny, I agree. I don’t want to teach my children to be afraid. I want them to be informed because I can’t always protect them. From the time they were little, we talked about what to do if they got lost, what kind of adult to look for. We talked about who we allowed in our house and why and who we didn’t. We talked about appropriate boundaries, which parts of their body was private, how to listen to the voice in your head that said something was wrong even if you didn’t know why, and that they could always, always tell me anything.
I also strongly encourage parents to take a class about how to recognize predators. Most of them are people you know but they also tend to follow very specific patterns of behavior that you can recognize if you know what to look for.
I’m with your Mum. I won’t even allow sleep overs when I do know the family. I’ve had enough experience in my life to know that you can never know what goes on behind closed doors. Horrible way to look at things I know.
@virgilia: The closest thing I’ve come to suffering abuse was at the a hands of older woman who was babysitting my two older sisters and I-oldest sister wasn’t quite old enough to watch us on her own. I was probably around four and wouldn’t stay in bed, so the sitter grabbed my arm and dragged me back to my room. My sister had a fit and made sure Mom and Dad knew had happened as soon as they got home. I don’t think we ever had an outside sitter again, my sister was deemed old enough to watch us.
I have a 4 year old daughter and I truly dread the day when she starts getting sleepover invites. I will not let her go. Your mom said “I don’t know that family” and I give her props for being smart about it.
I do have a question though—did she ever let you go to ANY sleepovers? Like, how well did she have to know the family? Because it seems like the stories we all hear often are cases where the abuse was by someone trusted. And that makes me not want to trust ANYONE except like—my brother in law. Guess my daughter will have sleepovers with her 2 cousins and that is about it.
@Lucinda, I like your post. I’ve done the same with my kids. One more thing I’d like to add – I’ve always told my kids to tell me if something bad happens to them at someone else’s hands, even if that person threatens to hurt me or my husband. I feel this is so important, since that’s how so many abusers elicit silence from their victims.
Excellent post, Lucinda.
As per usual, you are correct on all accounts, Sloane. She was definitely INTENSE, we’ll call it and my sisters are twins who are ten years older than me, so nothing was ever going to happen, but the funniest part to me was that as far as letting me go out, the other kids had a bigger problem with it than I did. Cur-few? Is that like typhus? We’re there other things going on? Sure, the academic pressure on me coming from her and my various magnet schools would make the so-called ‘Tiger Mom’ look like a mewling kitty, (school seven days a week until I was 22, WTF?!) , but that’s what takes the rebel out of you, I just wanted to sleep in and eat some pie if was ever around.
Kids are hard work in scary world and my mother had that Old School Immigrant edge. I made it out my early twenties alive, so something went right.
ITA.
My mother was definitely into the fear and paranoia, anyone with whom I didn’t share a last name was automatically a practitioner of ritual abuse and had a ‘funny uncle’. I was never the rebellious type–too sleepy, so I just rolled with it. I was the kid, what was I going to do, anyway? No amount of fun outweighed maternal wrath, so I rolled with it. I crack up at her reasoning behind her famously strict ways these days. There was the aforementioned abuse, but I remember:
But what if someone walks into the house and murders you? You think the cops will care, you’re black, remember?
Summer camp is for kids whose parents hate them.
I didn’t buy you a bed so you could not sleep in it.
Eat my food, it tastes better and it isn’t poisoned.
You know that song ‘The Freaks Come Out At Night’? They do, but they come out during the day, too.
You can get pregnant now, watch out. (that was also my ‘the talk’.
You want me to get sent to jail if something happens to you? They’ll find a way to do it, I’m black, remember?
Day camp? So you find life with me is so unbearable that you think it’s reasonable for me to pay other for being nice enough to take you away? And you think that people who have to be paid to be around you care?
I’m going to watch you finish your homework first, so I can give you more. Too busy to go out now, aren’t you?
Memories. Some good, all strange.
@Pepsi, Your Mom sounds like she was working hard to prepare you for a harsh world, probably because of her experiences I’m guessing.
I was the kind of kid who decided early that I knew better than the ‘rents, but that independence taught me early how to find joy in life, and once found to spread it around.
More proof that we all have Jewish mothers.
It sounds like your mother was an intriguing person who cared (cares I hope she is alive but it comes accross that she is not?) about you and protective of you. Great tribute post to your mom.
Shocked and sad to hear this. By the way she looks amazing.
+1
I have nothing but respect for someone who donates this much time and energy to animals.
After an incredibly stressful week during which my cat became suddenly ill and was hospitalized, this story comes at a particularly emotional time for me.
Animals bring so much comfort, so much joy to our lives. I completely understand why Pam feels safe and secure with them.
I Love cats, I have three rescues, I hope your kitty is doing better Original Kitten <3
oh, hope your kitty is doing better.
Oh, no, Kitten, is everything ok?
I admire her for all of her work to help animals, too.
I have two rescue kitties and a dog. It sucks when they are sick/hurt because they can’t tell you what’s wrong. Hope yours is feeling better.
I pray your kitty will be okay. I just adopted a german shephard puppy from the humane society. I appreciate what Pamela does for animals, also.
Thanks, guys. “Animal people” are my people 🙂
I got home Wednesday night to find her foaming at the mouth and extremely disoriented. Rushed her to ER and after being released, I brought her back the next day, certain there was something still wrong. Turns out she had acute kidney failure and had to be admitted to critical care unit and put on an IV in addition to the standard bloodwork, ultrasounds, etc. It was touch-and-go for a while but the fact that she’s so young (only 6!) really worked in her favor. She’s home for now but will have to go back to get her kidney levels checked in a few days.
She’s eating her special RX food and drinking water, etc, so that’s definitely a good sign.
Also, the hospital that treated her is the most amazing facility on the planet. I got twice-daily phonecall updates on her condition as well as daily TEXT MESSAGES with pics of her in her hospital room with a sweet note. Additionally, I was able to visit her everyday during hospital visiting hours. I don’t want to get into the cost, because that’s ultimately irrelevant, but put it this way: it was worth every penny for the quality treatment they gave her.
If anybody has experience with kidney issues with their kitties, I would love any advice. This is a chronic condition so managing it will be of utmost importance going forward.
PS-Welcome back, Goodnames. Missed you!
Missed you, too. So glad she’s ok. Sending good thoughts for her full and fast recovery.
@TheOriginalKitten — I hope all will be well; our three cats are rescues too, two strays who came to the door in need of help, and one left in a warehouse near where I used to work.
Sounds like your cat might have acute renal failure which can actually be handled with care and so that’s good – that is the kind younger cats might most likely get, so I am assuming. It can be genetic, or the result of eating something poisonous to their system. Treated, cats can live on for years. I had a cat years ago who had it, and thankfully made it thru, thought to be genetic. A tip — I was cautioned to remove all plants and flowers from my home because even a small nibble can be extremely toxic to a cat w the illness. Wishing you all the best!!
Aww…what a good mummy!!! And great vet too-daily text messages??! That’s awesome…
I don’t know too much about kidney failure/problems with cats, but do you have a lot of house plants? I ask because I bought my mom a calla lily for Mom’s Day but had to lock it in my bathroom as apparently it’s horribly toxic to cats (my baby kitty wasn’t going near that sucker!!) Just a thought. Good luck to you and yours!!! Sending positive thoughts!!
TheOriginalKitten, just logged on & saw about your kitty. I’m so glad you were around & saw what was happening & could get her help. I do have some experience w/kidney issues…not too much, but thought I’d give a couple suggestions you could ask your vet about.
W/kidney insufficiency, there’s a buildup of toxic by-products in their bodies (just like w/humans), & as far as eating, & appetite (I saw you mentioned about her kidney-friendly diet), you can ask about addition of antacids (cimetidine, famotidine, ranitidine) which you can get OTC & cut them to the right dose (or get from your vet), which would help w/acid indigestion if your kitty’s appetite is less than optimal at this time. She may or may not need them, but I just thought I’d mention, because the stomach discomfort from kidney problems can be problematic, & the meds I mentioned cats tolerate quite well in the correct cat/body weight doses. You can also ask about an appetite stimulant. The appetite stimulants most vets use are from the antihistamine class of drugs, believe it or not. They work quite well.
I have nine cats…all rescues. Yes, I’m over my limit, but they’re my babies, & many of them were feral that I’ve lovingly coaxed into domesticity. My cats live better than many people…haha!
@TheOriginalKitten, Oh Geez, I hope this isn’t another round of melamine in pet food. Sorry about the angst, OKitt. My animals are my children.
OriginalKitten, unfortunately one of my cats died from that at the age of 13. For about 6 months on and off she would have these ‘spells’ where we would find her hiding somewhere, foaming at the mouth and practically comatose. At first they would only last 15-20 minutes, then slowly progressed to where sometimes she would be like that for an hour or two and eventually even longer. Our vet said there really wasn’t much they could do – it sounds like yours is doing everything they can to take care of your kitty. Our girl was just so old by then and had already been through cancer the year before, and there wasn’t a lot of options. Eventually she just did not snap out of one of her spells and passed away on the couch with my family around her. I do not want to scare you at all – I’m sorry, I’m just sharing my experience. Best of luck to you and your baby…it sounds like she’s in good hands. At her age it should be completely manageable!
Boy! that sound both scary and devastating glad you both are going to be O.K. My cat and dog are both very much apart of our family. Don’t know what we would do without them. *HUGS*
Oh No! I too hope your little Kitty feels better! I feel you because years ago my previous Lab got a full on hip replacement at 2 yo and went on to live a full and happy life hiking up mountains in Canada, and I want that second chance for your ‘original Kitten’ too!
Another time a little dog got hit by a car right in front of me. My boyfriend at the time and I rushed him to a vet, I shelled out for surgery and a cast, and named him ‘Champ’. (An acquaintance said I shoulda called him ‘Chump’!) Anyway, I called local vets, placed ads, and the frantic owner recognized her little guy from a radio ad of all things, and 3 days later tracked him down. Come to find out, some neighbor kid had opened her gate and let him out She was crying tears of joy to be reunited and later sent me a Cookie Bouquet with a fat check that more than covered all my bills.
To this day any time I see a stray, I pick him up and almost always find their Mom or Dad, and 100% find them a forever home. I have a special place in my heart for all the wonderful people I’ve met doing my ad hoc animal rescue, so I really love these animal stories. (Rescued a couple of kids too, but that’s OT. I only mention it because most animal people I’ve known take in all kinds of ‘strays’ and give them a leg up.)
Like a lot of folks here, I firmly believe we were designed to share our lives with Companion Animals and also know how devastating it is to watch them go before us.
Sending snuggles to your kitty, TOK! Pets can break your heart, but they can also touch your heart like nothing else. I am so glad your little one is on the mend!
Also, I know the stress an ill pet can cause. I wish you all the best. Please be sure to get lots of rest and don’t get too run down!
Hey, TOK, I’m a wily veteran of kidney failure in animals! We lost two cats and a dog to kidney disease. Your kitty’s young at 6; so it will be interesting to hear what the vet thinks caused it!
Yep, I’ve given IV fluids to cats and dogs. It really really helps if your kitty will tolerate it. Another thing to think of is taking her to a holistic or naturopathic vet. We did that with one of our dogs who had liver failure, as well as the renal compromised ones, and it helped. I think there’s a place for all kinds of treatment when you’re looking at something chronic. Ask away as you move forward. Always willing to hijack a thread to talk about kitties and poopies!!
Ugh, stories like this hit way too close to home for me 🙁
I’m not surprised by any of this, there are simply too many survivors, especially women.
Regardless of how people may see her, she’s always seemed like a genuinely sweet person with no reputation of being difficult or stuck on herself.
I’m glad she’s at a place where she can talk about it openly.
That’s just awful, I admire her strength.
this is really sickening. i’m glad that she’s found a way to overcome all this horror, as much as one can overcome it.
Animals love you back in such a pure unselfish way. They deserve so much more protection under the law for how much they contribute to our lives.
You’re so right.
Absolutely. They deserve so much more than the law provides.
Absolutely. They know when you are sick, hurt, or upset it’s amazing how intuitive they are. Many times I have been comforted better by one of my pets, than by any person. And laws should most definitely be strengthened to protect them. I cannot ever bring myself to read the horrific stories of animal abuse that seem to crop up on a weekly basis. Just hearing about the creature that called over a friendly stray cat only to kick it like a football as his stupid friends filmed it had my blood boiling. I’ve always believed that people (and I use that term loosely) who have it in them to torture/kill an innocent animal are not far off from being able to do it to a human.
I love animals too. I volunteer at the local shelter pretty often, However, laws surrounding animals are a little tricky in my eyes. So it’s okay to kill/torture chickens, cows, pigs, and other animals we eat, but cats and dogs are off limits? Are animals we eat not innocent? I know something needs to be done to better protect animals, but where is the line drawn?
So true. My cat is a complete diva but when I’m sick/sad/depressed, she would literally just cuddle with me the entire day and make me feel better. She wouldn’t leave my side when my boyfriend passed away, it really did make a difference.
ITA, Nicolette. I will NOT read abuse stories either! Nor will I watch any movie, TV show with animal or people violence.
Jay, good point. IMO we need an international legal overhaul of how we live and coexist with animals. Our planet and us would be all the better for it. Our collective failure to plan is tantamount to “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!” Done well, Companion Animals and their ‘pack’ certainly flourish!
Leen, you have my deepest sympathy for your loss. Your love sounds like a wonderful man, and I’m glad you have your cat to share those memories with.
@Sloane, thank you and I appreciate it. He was also a big animal person, and honestly my cat is like my companion and I’m always thankful she’s there (even though she’s a bit picky when it comes to her food hahaha).
I completely understand what she meant by animals helping her. They have a way of healing the spirit in a way few if any people can do in life. They deserve to be cared for and not abused.
Jay – I absolutely see your point. In addition to protecting the animals we share our lives with, I also believe that all factory farming/slaughter houses should be abolished. Not everyone can be vegan – I’m not advocating for that -but there is a far more humane way to put animal products on the table. Yes, it would be more expensive for all farm animals to be raised in humane, free range conditions, but honestly our culture eats way too much meat & dairy as it is. It’s not necessary to have beef or pork or cream three meals a day every single day, so pricier meat raised more humanely would come with societal health benefits, as well.
+1
Eat kosher beef! Kosher is not just the type of food but also rules for slaughter. God hates animal cruelty as well, it would seem.
I eat meat once a day, usually as a side dish. And only beef, chicken, or fish. If an animal is smart enough to run away from slaughter, I won’t eat it.
Sad 🙁
Pam seems like a sweet person so I’ve a soft spot for her. She’s been through a lot and I hope she’s OK now.
+ 1. She always seems sweet and brave. And her work w animals is exceptional. She walks the talk.
I respect her and actually think she looks beautiful. She could have gone the Nicole Kidman route with all of the body modification, but appears to finally be in a place of happiness with who she is and is allowing herself to be vulnerable in public. Good for her.
I think it’s horrible. I really do. But is Cannes Festival really the place to announce it?
she didn’t just walk into a room and come right out and say “hey, everyone, I was molested as a child!”
it was during a speech she made for her foundation for animal welfare when describing how she felt a kinship with the animals, and WHY she felt that way. no one gets to tell a victim when is the “right” time to speak out.
This makes me incredibly sad and a lot less judgey of her support of PETA, even though I can’t stand that organization. I freaking love Pamela.
It’s so sad when statistics translate into real life like this and how likely a sexual abuse victim is to be reabused. Glad she came through it, I don’t think I would have.
She’s honestly one of the nicest celebs and she’s always attached to a cause.
I’m glad she’s talking about it. So many suffer in silence and this might encourage other survivors of child abuse to speak out. For all those wondering why she’s talking about it now, it takes a long time to get to a place where you can heal and it seems like she may be there. The ‘right time’ is whenever you feel it’s the right time.
I was stunned to hear this over the weekend, and I think she’s brave from coming forward with her story. It’s all just awful, but being gang raped? Good God. There are no words.
Especially after being molested already, twice, and the gang rape was instigated by someone she thought was her boyfriend. Beyond horrific, for such a young person to have to go through so much trauma.
I agree, Nicolette and GoodNames. She has survived so much.
No matter what people think of Pamela Anderson one thing is she seems like a genuinely gentle soul who has a good heart.
It is disgusting that those things happened to her. I wish those responsible would have been held accountable for such horrific and barbaric actions.
There is a veeeeery special place in hell for child molesting sickos and rapists and I hope each and every one of those monsters has a ready spot for them there.
I hope so too, eliza.
She has done a lot of work as animal activist, and this confession is brave.
On another record: I really like her new hair and makeup here.
Completely irrelevant, but at first I thought this was Toni Collette…
You are right. I see the resemblance in the top picture.
Can I say say I think she looks fantastic?
Blessings to Pamela. She has always seemed like such a sweet lady and I wish nothing but the best for her. I think someday Courtney Stodden is also going to reveal a horrific tale of childhood sexual abuse. I’ll bet anything that poor girl has also been through something terrible. 🙁
Sadly I agree.
I am not a huge Marilyn Monroe follower buy I always wondered about her too. Were there ever accounts of childhood sexual abuse with her too?
Yes Marilyn was molested too.She talked about it when you were not supposed to.It continued with letting men use her in the old studio system.I am sure it had a lot to do with her heavy drug and alcohol abuse.
Courtney Stodden was married to her abuser at the age of 16.
Right. And I consider her parents to be abusers as well because they permitted it.
I’m so sad for her, but glad she said it out loud. The more that people admit to this kind of suffering then the easier it will be for others to understand it is not just them, it was not their fault.
A few years ago Pam A had her own reality show- and I thought she was a sweet person in it. This back when every reality show didn’t involve name calling, hair pulling, etc. of course it focused on a home renovation project which can make you want to pull out your own hair!
As far as her revelations- too many young girls have to deal with unwanted attention too early, though hopefully not to this tragic extent. She is brave for coming forward. I am glad she found solace in the company of animals, and hope more folks get inspired by her example and help them.
Wow, I’d never read anything about this before. I guess shocked but not surprised. I hope she’s finding peace within herself.
I have those twin mad and sad feelings happening now. I just can’t understand why people can do such horrible things to kids.
I’ve always had a soft spot for her too and felt that for all the outrageousness, she was a pretty simple and kind person. I remember even back when she was married to Tommy Lee (or soon after) she talked about teaching her kids Sunday school class. It stuck with me because a) it seemed so outside of her image and b) I can only imagine the reaction of some of the parents to the news that she was the Sunday school teacher–I bet the Dads were more than happy to volunteer as helpers. LOL I also saw 1-2 episodes of her reality show. The one dealt with her going on a USO visit to some troops. As I’m a military wife, I always appreciate those stories. She just seemed genuinely excited and happy to do it and went above and beyond with pictures, autographs, etc…I watch a good bit of reality TV and you can usually spot the ‘fake’ reality–she seemed genuine about it all. I hope that she’s at peace with her past and, as a fellow childhood rape survivor, I appreciate her honesty about it. Hopefully Rick Solomon is good to her-
I’ve always liked Pamela Anderson for some weird reason. I hope she’s okay. Animal people are the best people in the word. I’m deeply suspicious of people who don’t like animals.
Me too! In fact, I don’t understand how people can eat them. Cows are adorable, and have that same spirit soul that a cat or dog has. They love their babies and form loving attachments just like people and cats and dogs do. How anyone who claims to love animals can eat them or any animal is beyond me.
She looks really good with short hair. She has a very pretty face.
I like how Pam was smart enough to find something constructive to help keep her sane after such a childhood. You have to find something and you have to hold on to it otherwise stuff like that can rot your soul. To be honest, hearing what she had to say made me tear up a little and I never tear up. She still feels broken. She feels useless and like her life has no point, so she lives to help animals. Its her way of atoning for what she thinks is her sin. She mentions that her children are her only true friends and I think that’s her way of saying she now lives for them but deep inside she still feels like she has to devote herself to a good cause in order to be worthy. Im so sorry Pamela.
TOK: Double check that your kitty didn’t get access to any household cleaning products. My vet thinks that’s how my cat ended up with mild kidney malfunction. I had cleaned a bathroom with Lysol and let it dry. Hours later, my cat stepped onto the tiles. We think she got Lysol residue onto her paws, which she groomed into her system.
Thankfully, she got better and lasted until she was 24. But her illness made me hyper-cautious about bringing chemicals into the house. I’m talking stuff like cleaning products, furniture polish, beauty products, pest control, etc. and any place where they’re stored (after you place them back, sprayers can still drip, powders can shake off rims of cans, etc.).
Good Luck!
Well, the very sad thing is. . . . most of my female friends have had at least one unwanted sexual experience forced upon them, either when they were children or when they were teens/young adults. I really don’t think it’s uncommon, and that is truly unfortunate–it’s just such a loaded issue in which the victim tends to blame themselves & feels like it was somehow their fault that it happened. I had a friend whose own mother blamed her for her stepfather molesting her. Absolutely sickening. So women tend to not talk about it too much for fear of being judged or not believed. And like Pamela, how do you admit that you were the victim of multiple rapes during the height or your celebrity in which you are viewed as a sex symbol? I’m sure she didn’t want to “go there”, and I do not blame her one bit for waiting until she was a bit more out of the spot light.
I also feel that many, many males have also been sexually victimized in their lives, but they are even more closed off about discussing it. Society seems to struggle with how we treat victims of sexual abuse.
crumblycookie, Some CDC research has estimated that approximately 1 in 6 boys and 1 in 4 girls are sexually abused before the age of 18.
I have always loved Pam and have always felt like she is a kind, down to earth, humble and sweet girl. She somehow managed to be this crazy powerhouse of hyper sexuality while also being wholesome – no mean feat. The fact that she loves animals just propels her to dizzying heights in my book.
I am so sad that she experienced such horrific trauma as a child. Both my sister and my cousin were raped by an uncle and a neighbour respectively. Stranger danger is virtually a myth; it’s mostly somebody that you know.
Stay strong Pam. I think you’re awesome. And you just keep getting cuter. 🙂
There are so many monsters in our world. Now, I’m thinking of those girls in Nigeria and, I don’t know. My sister is really active in a volunteer group (I do what I can, but I’m pretty limited right now for boring reasons) that works with the police dealing with children who are victims of sex trafficking and it kills because there won’t ever be a day when the cops say to her, ‘okay, sexual abuse cured, let’s have some celebration flan’. Yes, every bit counts but it is just not enough, it will never be enough and isn’t a magical place where this can’t happen. Perhaps someone will say that the effort and any amount of success has value and you can’t kick yourself but, yes I can. Maybe that’s just ego or immaturity talking but, but what?
I agree…the number and the scope of victims of this kind of abuse is staggering. It is pretty much overwhelming. Each time there is a similar story on this site, you see all of the women and their friends and family who have struggled with this, and I always think “HOW can we stop this?”, but I know that there really isn’t a way to stop it completely, and it makes me very sad.
At the same time, I see so many strong and intelligent women here (and in my community), and there is a little bit of hope that if we put our talents and efforts together, we could do SOMETHING, right? Wisdom and strength are just too powerful to not make an impact.
#bringbackourgirls isn’t happening, despite the efforts of our First Lady and our government to offer help in any form. Of course the time to act was BEFORE the kidnapping took place. The Nigerian government was aware of the danger to these girls and did nothing to provide them protection before they were kidnapped. I am not an Islamic scholar, but apparently forced conversion is against the Koran. Boko Haram/Harim is so our there that not even Al Qaeda wants to be associated with them. What does that say about child molestation and human trafficking, at least in Arica, if not the world?
The takeaway in my mind is that women are so devalued in so many countries that while events like the mass kidnapping in Nigeria get media attention, they are not addressed with action, only with lip service. Then the bad press dies down, and the lax government that wasn’t too concerned about a few hundred poor girls being kidnapped in the first place goes back to concentrating on whatever it finds more important-anything but the safety of the women and girls within its borders.
Poor Pamela. I hope that she is in a better situation in her personal life-she had a run of some seriously rancid men. Of course, that all makes sense now. She needs people around who love, cherish, and respect her. I like to believe, because I have to believe in something myself to get through my own troubles, that love is the greatest healer of all. In Pam’s case, she loved animals and, as innocents, they gave back in kind. Children did the same for her. May she find a sense of peace now that she has acted on her calling.
I think you’re both right.
Wow. That’s really cool that she shared this. Good for her.
She reminds me of Toni Collette in that first photo.
Thanks Celebitchy for deciding to put this post up.It seems to have touched people one way or another.