In a recent Vanity Fair interview, Martha Stewart claimed that one of her new “favorite things” was a small, civilian drone. She said she used the drone to photograph her property and you can watch all of the footage in real time on your iPad (there’s an app for that!). Some people noticed this detail, and the New Yorker wrote a satire piece about Martha’s drone-lovin’. But the joke’s on everybody, because Martha Stewart really f—king loves the hell out of her drone. She wrote an essay for this week’s Time Magazine about her balls-out drone-lovin’. You can read the full piece here, and here are some highlights:
Last year, while celebrating my birthday in Maine, I was given a drone fitted with a high-definition camera. After a quick introduction to the mechanics of operating the contraption and a few words about its idiosyncrasies, I loaded the appropriate app on my iPad and went down to the beach.
In just a few minutes I was hooked. In near silence, the drone rose, hovered, and dove, silently and surreptitiously photographing us and the landscape around us. The photos and video were stunning. By assuming unusual vantage points, the drone allowed me to “see” so much more of my surroundings than usual. The view I was “seeing” on my iPad with the help of the drone would have otherwise been impossible without the use of a private plane, helicopter, or balloon. With any of those vehicles, I would have needed a telephoto lens, and all of them would have made an unacceptable commotion on the beach. What’s more, I would not have been in the photos!
…My mind started racing and I imagined all the different applications for my drone. I knew that every type of use had already been thought of by others (governmental agencies, businesses, Amazon.com, Google Maps), and I knew I could not even begin to fathom even a fraction of the social, ethical, and political challenges the widespread use of drones would create.
Do they raise legitimate privacy concerns? Should they be regulated? Should we have a national debate? I don’t have all the answers. But I forged ahead, using a Parrot AR Drone 2.0, photographing my properties, a party, a hike in the mountains, and a day at the beach. I did my best to master the moves and angles that would result in most arresting pictures and video.
One of my farm workers used his drone, a DJI Phantom flying camera, to capture amazing images of my 153-acre farm in Bedford, New York. Suddenly we could see with astonishing clarity the layout of the open fields, the horse paddocks, the chicken coops, the greenhouses, the hay barn, the cutting gardens and henhouses, the clematis pergola, and the long allée of boxwood. The photos were so good I posted them to my blog on Marthastewart.com. The response was phenomenal!Henry Alford wrote a satirical essay about me and my drones in The New Yorker that was really funny but missed the point about why I love my drone. Drones can be useful tools, and I am all about useful tools. One of my mottos is “the right tool for the right job.”
Martha goes on and on about the history of some of the greatest gardens and estates that have been planned out without the use of drones, but she says that anyone with a large estate in today’s world would probably find drone images extremely useful. Plus, she loves the photos, especially the drone pics of her vegetable garden which, she says, “looked very much like my Peter Rabbit marzipan embellished Easter cake, which was designed without the help of a drone.” You can see some of Martha’s drone photos here.
I mean, I kind of love how enthusiastic she is about civilian drones and there are moments in her essay where it sounds like she’s doing an infomercial. But let’s be real… Martha is going to find a way to arm her drones. She’s been dying to take out that neighbor who lets their dogs bark in the middle of the night. The right tool for the right job, Martha says. Locked and loaded.
PS… Martha allowed Terry Richardson to photograph her (and her dogs) for Harper’s Bazaar. You can see the pics here. Gross. Even grosser? Martha is quoted as saying Uncle Terry is “cute.” STAHP.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
The drone doesn’t surprise me – but what I really want to talk about is that godawful outfit. Burn pile, stat.
Did she not look at herself in a full length mirror? Her shins look terrible, aside from the ghastly capris .
1) Terry Richardson is a sh***y photographer. Those photos are just awful!
2) Martha, THOSE CAPRIS! NOOOOOOO. I actually like the fabrics BUT the pants should be long and a palazzo style. That style of pant is very unflattering to her.
But I love the shoes!!! Want them. Need them.
The article about Terry Richardson said the author didn’t believe Martha could be so sheltered that she didn’t know about Richardson’s reputation. I disagree. Not because she’s sheltered, but because she’s so self-absorbed. I can see her just knowing he’s a famous photographer and not learning any more details. Too busy with the drones. But I’m still disappointed that anyone works with him.
I disagree on her not knowing. The woman lives her life in the New York social circles. Even my mother knows about Terry Richardson’s reputation.
Well, you could definitely be correct. I have no way of knowing, of course. Maybe I just don’t want to believe it.
Maybe she likes random balls in the face? For what it’s worth, she also thought those ridiculous pants were cute. Are they even pants? Taste = highly questionable, at times. HIGHLY. She might have been better off with beige bootie shorts, they wouldn’t have looked any weirder with the ‘uber-wealthy debutante at the ball’ jacket.
One never knows.
That bootie shorts comment made me cringe and laugh at the same time. She could have gone with Bradley in matching gold bootie shorts.
Ooh, sparkly bootie shorts, good call.
She seemed to have gained weight in prison, maybe coincidentally with reaching a certain age.
It can be hard to find flattering clothes, though her choice is NOT flattering for sure.
You’d think with her iron will she’d have lost weight.
Or, you know, decide not to wear insanely bad pants.
There’s a joke about Martha’s drone and Blake Lively’s acting, but it’s to early to properly think it to fruition. Anyone?
God- feel it, too. I’m just too slagged on a Friday afternoon to get there. There’s something seriously funny there. Ack.
OMG. You MUST click through to the drone photos. WTH? Martha Stewart is the modern day George Washington? She has a sawmill, ffs. Astounding.
I find it way creepier that she called Terry Richardson “cute”. Martha Stewart KNOWS who that POS is. Martha lives her life in the New York social scene. She KNOWS the score.
Drones ARE creepy and not only invasive on our privacy even when owned by civilians, but also dangerous. Read some of the stories about people who find then hovering by their windows in high rises or their yards. Read about how some have come very close to landing planes.
No to Terry Richardson, the drone of photography and no to drones, period.
At first I was shocked at how bad Terry Richardson’s photos of Martha turned out. Then I remembered all his photos are bad and subsequently lowered my standards.
I’m sure her neighbors are thrilled…
*Really* creepy that any civilian has one. No one is using it solely to photograph property, come on.
Why not? What else would she do with it you think?
It says she was taking photos of a day at the beach and unless she owns her own beach where no one else is allowed, she is taking pictures of others that may not want their picture taken. So yes, she is doing more than taking photos of her estate.
Martha loves the drones for now….until someone takes a pic of her or her property without her authorization. Then, she will be on a rampage about privacy!
This woman grosses me OUT!
You bet your sweet a** that Martha is going to arm her drone. More likely, she’s amassing an army of armed drones. God help the chicken that tries to escape Martha’s coop – coq au vin anyone?
I could not stop myself from imagining Terry wanking all over Marth’s face. And then she smiles and says “it’s a good thing.”
Martha is everything!!!!! I miss her and her original show and magazine… I mean she uses her drone to photograph her boxwood allée! I am heading over to her blog right now to look at the photos… her homes are the real deal.
Just as I suspected- not a f***king twig out of place!! Even her compost piles are lovely :\
My husband thought about buying the Parrot Drone – they sell them on Amazon. We live in SoCal (where all of the crazies and their zippo lighters love to start wildfires). There’s a lot of open land behind our house, on a rather steep hillside, and we wanted to be able to keep an eye on the dry brush situation. We wouldn’t use it to irritate our neighbors, but I can see where it would be a privacy concern. We never did buy it……….we like to live life on the edge. 🙂
You KNOW that Barbara Streisand is drawing up all sorts of new riders and privacy clauses for her Malibu home – she runs that place like a military installation.
I can’t get past what she’s wearing in these pictures! Tight gold sequin capris?? NO, GIRL….
Creepy, consistent with her obvious OCD.
Shiny from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. And not in a good way.
Like mia girl before me, that Richardson information knocked the snark out of me. I was just getting ready to post an essay (both satirical AND on point) about my love of Martha but that cannot be condoned on any level of humor.
Sigh *crosses another name off the list*
I’m surprised she admits to owning a drone. Police all over the country are hunting down drone-flyers because the drones are messing so much with airplanes and protected airspace. Some guy in Harlem was recently arrested for flying a drone over his neighborhood and triggering all sorts of terrorist alerts. They really should not be in the hands of amateurs like Martha.
Ugh rich people. Only rich people can be like “you definitely need one of these to photograph your ‘estate’ because it’s too big for you to really plan it out architecturally”. SMDH like it’s Versailles or something. Dear lord help these clueless people because they have no damn sense. Pretty soon were going to see civilian drones everywhere. And in 5 years when China starts making them for $50 you’ll look up and that’s all you’ll see. People are already lazy, imagine if they had those? Why leave the house?
About the Terry Richardson photos, I love how dirty and grimey they look. Even without the white background you can tell it’s his work because it’s just so sleazy looking. How does one even make Martha Stweart look like a lot lizard? Answer: Terry Richardson.