This post is a great opportunity to break out some photos of the John Mayer “O” face. The photos of his shorter hair were taken in Amsterdam in June. The rest are from last year. No one does “O” like John Mayer. Enjoy that image with the added information from Star magazine’s new “I dated an A-lister” feature. A former Mayer conquest says that he loves to play doctor. He wants his ladies to dress up in a lab coat and examine him, never breaking character until it’s the fun is done. I bet Jennifer Aniston and Taylor Swift look great in a crisp white nurse’s uniform. Just saying.

This week’s issue of the Enquirer has an even grosser story. Mike Walker is really excited about the prospect of John’s upcoming musical about John’s lengthy list of famous conquests. The story is tasteless and awful, and I sort of believe it:

My top-secret John Mayer bombshell’s already triggering Hollywood warning sirens … rupturing the eardrums — and God knows what else — of Sexy Boy’s numerous blast-from-the-past/humped-and-dumped star hotties, who are suddenly terrified they’ll be immortalized/sandalized in a new Broadway play he’s writing!

Mayer’s nervous brigade of bangee’s include: Katy Perry, Jennifer Aniston, Jessica “Sexual Napalm” Simpson; Taylor Swift; sex-plosive Jennifer Love Hewitt (who reportedly inspired his hit ditty, “Your Boy is a Wonderland”); plus Renee Zellweger, Minka Kelly, Rhona Mitra, blah, blah, blah! (Guys, can you even imagine?!)

“John’s kept this project heavily under wraps,” says a source close to the star, “but word’s starting to leak now that the formal casting call’s gone out. It describes main character, “JOHN, early to mid-twenties/artistic musician. Handsome (ideally can play both guitar and piano)…!’

Justifiably nervous are exes Taylor Swift, who wrote mercilessly about her failed love affair with John; Jessica Simpson — who raged when he called her “sexual napalm” — and Jennifer Aniston, who famously followed him around the world like a love-struck puppy.

These famous flings, knowning John’s kiss-and-tell history, are now worried he’lll stage scenes from their sex lives ont he Broadway stage!” Mayer’s show-and-tell debuts this fall in a small California town, where producers will iron out the kinks — until it’s kinky enough for Broadway!

[From Enquirer, print edition, August 11, 2014]

John sounds douchey enough to pull a stunt like this, especially since he feels so jilted by Swift for her “Dear John” song. Katy Perry wouldn’t care at all if John wrote about her bedroom skills. She loves looking like a bad girl. Jennifer Love Hewitt would probably be flattered. He’s totally doing this, right?

Casting is key when it comes to a project like this. Piano playing skills can be faked, but pulling these expressions ain’t easy.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN