While the public at large has turned its back on R&B singer Chris Brown, the one person who should be keeping the farthest away from him seems to be his only friend at the moment. Sources say that battered girlfriend Rihanna is in regular contact with Brown and wants to reconcile with him in spite of his violent treatment of her – and her family is beside themselves about it.
Rihanna is defying worried family and friends to talk to her remorseful lover Chris Brown and arrange super-secret meetings with him, The ENQUIRER has learned.
Shockingly, the talented pop singer has not only forgiven the R&B bad boy for punching her during a violent spat, sources say she’s already taken him back!
“Even after what Chris did to her, Rihanna is crazy about him and she’s forgiven him,” a source close to the leggy beauty told The ENQUIRER.
“They’ve been talking on the phone, and they’ve agreed that once the legal problems are ironed out, they’ll be together. But as far as Rihanna is concerned, she’s already taken Chris back.
“They’ve missed one secret get-together, and now they’ve vowed to meet at a secret rendezvous location outside of Los Angeles.”An insider added: “Everyone is advising Rihanna to stay away from Chris and concentrate on her career. But she won’t listen. She’s been talking to Chris on the phone, and she’s made it clear she doesn’t want their romance to end.
“Both she and Chris are feeling extremely low. Each one feels the fight was their fault.”
As someone who used to work as an outreach counselor for battered women, there is nothing more frustrating and terrifying than a woman who refuses to leave her abuser. It’s also very common for the victims in these cases to blame themselves – but the reality is, there is no amount of “jealous behavior” that warrants this kind of violent treatment. Chris Brown is bigger and stronger than Rihanna and used this against her to bully her and control her. Period.
The belief that he is “remorseful” is also part of the abuse cycle. The ability to control his victim through acting remorseful is key for the batterer – he can turn it on and off at will. Rihanna is young and probably hasn’t had a lot of experience with relationships, so she hasn’t learned this yet. Her family is trying to spare her more pain and most likely, more violence. Hopefully she will realize this and stop all contact with Brown. But I fear she may learn this the hard way.
Rihanna and Chris are shown in November, 2008 in Australia. Credit: Fame
She loves him and doesn’t care what people think.This is a destructive relationship that won’t last or probably will have many more “accidents” and end up tragically.
Ike and Tina all over again. It is a shame.
Sad. Sex intesifies relationships regardless of stature and shit like this happens.
It’s sad. I’m sure he’ll tire of her and she’ll be devestated and go through some heavy, heavy shit. Haven’t we seen this before. (abuse doesn’t necessarily (sp?) mean fists, but also emotional and verbal) – remember Lohan, she was fine until she hooked up w/ professional cherry popper Wilmer Valderama. I’m positive that began the f*ckery within her head. (yes she had two screwy ‘rents, but probably put all she had into that relationship, because from there it went all downhill)
Sorry, I digressed. Us women need to support this child regardless, because if she does take him back, (which is easier then cutting the strings, just now) she’s going to have a disastor of a fall, and I really don’t want to hear women being bitches then towards her.
sad
It’s a shame alright and all too common. Sweetie, you are so much better than this!!
I’m sure he is genuinely remorseful. Which Rihanna must feel all right… and think about it, folks, it’s hard not to forgive someone you love, when you have a good heart.
And abusers prey on too good-hearted people.
What she doesn’t get – yet – is that he’ll hit her again. And next time it will be worse. Forgiveness never makes a decent man out of a batterer.
Maybe Tina Turner could give some advice to Rihanna ?
I still don’t believe Chris Brown is a batterer or an abuser like everyone is calling him.
One huge fight. That’s all they had. People are just assuming that he has hit her before… The media wants this to be bigger than it is.
Rihanna is a grown woman. If she decides she wants to stay with Chris that’s her. And if it doesn’t work out… maybe we will learn.
Edit:
we should have been she…
There’s an old southern expression mothers sometimes tell their daughters…’If you are stupid enough to let him hit you twice, you’d better make sure he kills you. Because if he doesn’t, I will.’
Her parents really need to set her ass straight.
If they don’t, she will repeat this cycle again and again. But then, some women really do have to learn their lessons the hard way. I hope she is not one of them.
Oh Rihanna! 🙁
Unfortunately, MSat is 100% correct.
This is a cycle and it’s one that will repeat itself several times.
Her family needs to show her they’re there for her and always will be. It’s the only thing you can do. They’ll only leave when they find the strength within themselves to do it. My friend was in an abusive relationship and looking back she was like “WTF was I thinking?” But during that time, she wouldn’t listen to me. So I stayed by her side and I never ever judged her.
On that note, since I know people will say that she’s stupid. She’s not stupid. She’s just lost and confused. The worse thing you can do to a victim of domestic violence is belittle them further by questioning their intelligence. They’re battered enough and calling her stupid or anything of that nature exacerbates the problem.
@ annie ….I like your style
I can’t say I’m surprised. She’s not the first, she won’t be the last to go back. All her friends and family can do is talk to her, support her and if she still decides to go back then watch that bastard like a hawk. And while two wrongs don’t make a right, I’d be tempted to let Chris know the consequences of this happening again. Legal troubles would be the least of them.
He’s done this to her at least the one time we know about. If she goes back to him after leaving him over it I have no pity for her. If you’re stupid enough to go back and think things will have changed, you deserve what he gives you. Get out, stay out or accept the consequences.
I hope her family give her some tough love and stop them getting back together so she can get her head together properly.
how very sympathetic Mom
Anyone remember a woman named Nicole Simpson?
MomInNH: I’m so glad you’re not a battered women’s counselor :).
NO ONE DESERVES TO GET BEAT. NO ONE. Are you going to tell your kids that too if they find themselves in a bad situation?
“Well you deserved it in some way. I mean you went back didn’t you?”
No. You wouldn’t.
I guess Mom has never heard of battered women’s syndrome. It is a psychological phenomenon that I’m guessing you’re probably too ignorant to comprehend.
If only we could all turn our feelings on and off at will!
Maybe “mom” has never been in love…
Oh “Terrian”, grow the F up. We have seen the proof, okay? That photo… what, do you think Rihanna beat herself up? Guys who are not abusers don’t do things like that, not even once. So, start believing it.
I thought the D.A. didn’t need the victim’s agreement to press charges on their own.
Does anyone know if this is true or not? I really believe it is, but nothing’s been done, so maybe not.
One thing’s for sure, he certainly can’t do it again if he’s locked up. L.A.P.D needs to save this woman from herself, and this guy.
You’re absolutely right.
As I understand it, the only person who has the final say on pressing charges is the DA. Charges are dropped at the discretion of the prosecutor. They take the victim’s request into account, but at the end of the day, it’s the DA’s call.
Obviously this is because people are aware of a victim’s fear to pursue legal action against their abuser.
Let her talk to him. If he beats her ass again its on her. She’s 21 she’s not stupid. She wants to believe the best in him because she loves him. I think it’s stupid how people are trying to say that he has been doing this to her the whole time… Really?! She hired a body guard to follow him everywhere and he’s the one with the problem? I think they are both young and very dumb. And there is both something wrong with them. I know what it’s like to be an abused woman and after so many times you eventually get it and leave. Let her live her life the way she chooses. All anyone is doing is pushing her back to him because they are say don’t be with him.
so stupid, if she always wanted him back why did she press charges against him? then take him back and want to work things out. I always thoguht she was a stupid tramp
I, in no way shape or form understand battered woman syndrome
Leave his ass. I don’t for a second give me that it’s not easy. Neither is walking around with broken ribs. Leave his ass
@ Terri:
He battered her = batterer
it’s doesn’t need to be a repeat offender to make it so. He hit her – he hit her
Terrian: “they just had a huge fight” ?
Hitting someone you’re with, even a slap, that’s a deal breaker. So “just a fight” is not supposed to happen, ever.
MomInNH: oh yeah, I was this kind of righteous girl back then. That was before I was myself abused (psychologically). And I couldn’t do a thing about it – I thought I deserved every piece of it – until it grew worse and worse and I couldn’t stand it and I had to walk out of it.
This appears to be a mutually destructive relationship. Both CB and Rih Rih have admitted to being beaten by men their mothers dated, and before the epic beatdown there were rumors of them beating each other. Sad. They both need help.
What a sad story. When will she learn that if he hits you once….he will do it again. Never fails. I just hope we don’t end up with an OJ repeat! RUN! FAST AND FAR!
I don’t agree that this was just some simple “big” argument. He beat the crap out of her…that is more than an argument. I don’t care if he hit her before, but no one deserves what she got. No one “asks” for that.
@ Terrian…
wow… do actually believe that? That it was a “fight”? Perfectly acceptable behaviour? Thats its nothing more than a dropped drink or a chipped nail. I came into this thread feeling for Rihanna, but I leave it feeling pity for you and your closed, small mind.
There are some strangely ignorant people on this board. On average it takes something like 7 times for a woman to leave a man who beats her. Regardless of age, race,economic status, or education. If she does go back to him it’s NOT b/c she is stupid. That is the nature of these relationships. They are emotionally and psychologically manipulative. They whittle down a persons perspective and self respect. The woman begins to accept things in that relationship she would never accept anywhere else. This isn’t just about getting an ass beating. Think about the psychological implications b4 you judge people. Really, we should all be past this point by now.
No one except the two of them will ever know what went on between them that night. She probably hit him, he hit her. She said things she knew would infuriate him, like threatening to call the cops, and he probably said things to infuriate her. It was a mutual very unhealthy fight between two people in love.
They both seem to have anger management issues, which they could work on together or apart. All this energy of finger-pointing isn’t very helpful in achieving better mental health for the two of them.
hmmmm said: “There are some strangely ignorant people on this board.”
Couldn’t agree more
I think the point people against Chis are trying to make is that it’s one thing to be angry, and he may well have been justified in his anger. But it’s another to use violence to deal with your anger. THAT is wrong. I thought this is something we’ve been trying to teach kids since forever. Example, in the playground or at school, when two kids are fighting, you separate them and try to teach them how to handle whatever their issues are, without coming to blows. I’ve always thought it is wierd whenever I hear parents telling kids not to get mad…anger is a natural emotion…you’d go psychotic if you couldn’t express it BUT the trick is knowing what emotions are occuring and how to handle them.
So, sure, they may have been fightingm, they may have both been justifiably angry at each other, but imo, physically beating someone when you’re angry is an example of poor emotional management. Emotional immaturity. Like I said, solving your problems, expressing yourself with your fists…to me, it’s immature, like you’ve never gotten beyond the playground. As adults, we’re supposed to figure this out, yes?
I think they both need therapy. They are both from domestic violence homes. He used to see his mother get beat. She used to fight with her brothers and have said (as if it was no big deal) that she smashed a glass bottle in her brother’s face during a fight. A police source has said she threw the first punch. Like I said, they both need therapy but I don’t think they should be together.
For me this is more than being beaten. The fact that the argument started from a text he got from a jump off suggest that he doesn’t respect her enough to keep those women in their places. If a man introduces another wooman in the relationship and she doesn’t make him feel what it feels like to be cheated on or feel like you are cheated on, she will never be able to get back that respect.
It is a very sad cycle. And 21 might be technically an adult, but it is also a very young woman who is “in love” (sometimes it seems like the years 18-23 are more hormone driven than the menopause years!)
The sad part is not just the physical violence. That is only one part of a relationship where the man is determined to dominate the woman.
It almost always involves mental and emotional cruelty–put-downs, ugly innuendoes, jealousy or trying to make the other person jealous, rudeness, treating them like dirt…but then turning around and being wonderful, loving, thoughtful, even vulnerable…so the woman THEN feels needed and loved…it’s another cycle.
If Brown is the kind of man who needs to dominate a woman either with his words or his fists, then I’m sure the situation is even more unstable because Rihanna is famous and successful in her own right (on the one hand it’s an ego boost to him that this successful woman wants him, but for someone so emotionally immature, it’s probably also a threat to his ego…this is no “little woman” impressed with his celeb status).
How do you make a 21 year old see that kind of reality, though? This must be so terrible and frustrating for her parents.
in regards to the DA prosecuting the case…i do know for a fact that, in CA, prosecuting sexual assault cases require the cooperation of the survivor. i do not believe dv cases are the same. however, usually the survivor is the only witness (besides the perpetrator) to the violence. if (s)he does not cooperate, it makes it more difficult for the DA to get a dv conviction. therefore (DA’s have to keep their conviction rates up, after all), DA’s are much less likely to prosecute a case without cooperation.
What is the age of majority in California? If she was not 21 when the attack took place, would she be expected to prosecute, or (because of her age) would it be done for her? (or is over 18 of legal age for something like this?)
And I was under the impression that in California (and many other places in the U.S.) that charges can be laid by the police in domestic battery cases…the victim does not need to prosecute for the case to go to trial.(?)
Why am I not shocked?
Stupid, STUPID woman.
All I can say is…she needs to cross her legs and stay celibate since she obviously doesn’t have the good sense God gave a fruit fly.
She’d probably subject children to this asshole, too.
Then I’d have to amend my objection from “stupid woman” to “evil woman.”
and as to my being “ignorant” because I don’t tolerate dangerous, self-destructive behavior with a banal smile on my face, that’s utterly absurd.
She probably does need some therapy, but that doesn’t change the fact that what she’s doing is stupid, dangerous, and selfish.
I am neither ignorant nor unsympathetic. People who tell the truth instead of sugar-coating every stupid action by calling it mental illness…and who hold people accountable for their choices are often labeled with all kinds of silly things to make people who’ve lost their spines feel better about being morally mushy.
So it goes. I’ll continue to point out the stupidity and self-accountability of victims in these situations, and you can continue to call me “ignorant.”
It doesn’t change the fact that with my advice, she’d be out of danger and living a healthy life under the protection of her family…and with yours, she gets a therapy session to make her feel better about herself while she continues to accept her weekly beatings.
Czarina: I answered this earlier. But essentially, a DA can prosecute whomever he likes in domestic violence cases in CA (And I believe the entire US). The victim can even disagree with the prosecution, but if the DA believes it has merit, she can push it forward and they merely take the victim’s request into consideration. End of the day, DA makes the call.
Also. The age you are considered a legal adult is 18 in CA.
No, with your advice, you just successfully belittled an already fragile and weak woman and probably reaffirmed the awful things the man has said to her, to make her feel like she somehow deserves her “punishment”.
It’s not that we’re tolerating it, but calling that person stupid is probably the stupidest thing YOU could ever do.
It’s about support, NOT judgment.
Christ, Terrian, get a psychiatrist!
I hope you are never in the position of being mentor to any young people.
I would hate for them to be instructed that it’s perfectly normal if “they Boo kicks they ass from time to time.”
Terrian, sound this out for yourself: Violence is BAD. Don’t hit. Don’t get hit.
To be clearer, I mean that if someone hits you, you DUMP their ass.
CB Rawks, with you all the way. Unfortunately, the danger is not over for an abused woman once she leaves. Statistically, a woman is in much more danger once she does leave, most likely to be murdered, in fact. Woman beating is not about “anger management,” but power and control. Notice Chris Brown doesn’t hit, strangle and bite everyone. He can control his “anger” just fine in all other situations. Also, I hate when people say they feel bad for both of them (Rhianna and Brown). My sympathy is never with a person who strangles another to the point of unconsciousness, punches her in the face, and leaves bite marks all over her. That is not a “fight” but an attack. I just don’t get people who try to normalize and minimize this behavior.
Annie: I couldn’t agree more.
Aspen: Our advice is not to stay. We want her to leave him and never look back and get into therapy ASAP – and if she feels like going back to him, we want her to know that it’s not out of sheer stupidity, but because she’s currently in an altered state of mind because of an abusive relationship – so that she garners enough self respect to quit him for GOOD. And never gets back with another batterer.
With your advice she’ll feel like shit and get beaten again.
I’m more than a little disappointed at this turn of events. The “average” abused woman is not a financial powerhouse on her own, capable of walking out of an abusive relationship without suffering significant financial distress. The “average” abused woman does not have help available everywhere she looks. The “average” abused woman must deal with local police on her own, get orders of protection, flee to hide in shelters, and pray she doesn’t wake up to her abuser crashing through her door to kill her, with his copy of the order of protection stuck in his pocket.
Rihanna has way more resources available to her than the “average” abused woman.
I think people should let them work it out. But he had no right to hit her. He shouldnt have, but lots of things happen when ur drunk. Its both of they faults,they both had somethin to do with it and he just went a lil to far.
I just want to say something. everyone is attacking her because she is “taking him back”. They where in a relationship for more than a year, no matter what you say, its had to leave when you have so much invested for so long, even if you have money/kids/anything or not.
I sympathize with her, because i was in an abusive relationship. Believe it or not, people CAN change. My man didn’t hit me because he was a bad person, or because he didn’t love me, He just didn’t know how to control his anger because we were young. There is anger management consoling and it does help. It took loosing me for him to want to change to be a better person for both of us. I have stayed with him, and he has not laid a hand on me in years. It took some time, People have to WANT to change for anything to actually change.
@kelly ~ A year? Try being in an abusive relationship 9+ years and then getting out, like I did. Yes, she loves him, but as others have stated, she needs to leave him. If he does the work on himself and changes, and she works on herself and changes, too, and then they find that they can be together in a healthy way – so be it. But at this moment, he’s not good for her and she needs to be safe.