Full disclosure: I did not watch every bit of the Fargo miniseries on FX. I watched the first handful of episodes and enjoyed watching the Coen Brothers’ world come alive on the small screen. Then something very bad happened to an animal and I couldn’t bring myself to finish the rest of the season. Anyway, the acting was pretty great on Fargo. The show won best miniseries at the Critics Choice TV awards. Allison Tolman won best supporting actress for playing police detective Molly, and she was also nominated for an Emmy. Do you think she’ll win? She has a good shot.
Allison is a very vocal presence on Twitter. She recently shut down a heckler who commented on her weight. You can see the whole Twitter fight at Pajiba, but here are a few quick highlights:
(1) For f—‘s sake, internet- I’m not fat, I’ve just been wearing this GIANT EFFING COAT FOR 8 WEEKS ON YOUR TELEVISION. pic.twitter.com/l5MUSqKCOG
(2) I’m not sad, y’all. My points are: A- Christ on a cracker, stop defining women by size. B- I’m AVERAGE- women on TV are TINY. #realtalk
[From Allison Tolman on Twitter]
Allison sat down for a follow-up interview with HuffPo. She will no longer tolerate the verbal abuse that women’s bodies receive on a daily basis. She will not be silenced:
“Body-shaming is something I feel really strongly about,” Tolman said. “I think about my niece, I think about my friends who have daughters being on the Internet and reading these things, and it just makes me furious. It makes me so angry.”
The actress is also aware that her opinion is likely lost on the people who spew negativity, but she said making even a small dent in the dialogue about women and size is important.
“While I know that me saying something to someone on the Internet and sassing somebody back doesn’t actually do anything to them — I don’t think I’m going to change anyone’s mind, obviously — but I’m hoping that if that’s part of the conversation, people saying nasty things to women, maybe we can also make part of the conversation women saying back, ‘It’s really none of your business, shut up,'” she said.
[From HuffPo]
Allison also says that she’s tired of women receiving so much grief for their “imperfect” bodies when men rarely get called out for the same reason. She’s correct. Men who carry a few extra pounds are referred to as lovable, chubby types. Teddy bears. Everyday guys. Women get called “fatties.” Young girls and teenagers are watching all of this go down. They need to know that women will not settle for this crap.
Good on Allison for speaking up. No one on Twitter called out any less-than-svelte Fargo male actors. They were only picking on the woman wearing a bulky coat.
Photos courtesy of FX Networks & WENN
She was so good in Fargo. I really hope she wins her Emmy but I think she might be in Julia Roberts category and they love to award film stars doing TV. As for her interview she’s on completely on point double standard are the norm when it comes down to weight issues in entertainment between men and women.
She is my heroine and I think she’s gorgeous.
While I agree with her, I also wonder why women pay so much attention to what others think about their bodies in the first place?
I mentioned this on here before, I am tiny height wise and thin. My mom, of course says too thin. I am small boned. Someone who had not seen me in a long time ran into me and the FIRST thing he said was ” Damn, you got fat” FAT???????????? I just shook my head. I MAYBE weigh 5lbs more than I did years ago and he considered that as fat. Even if I were “fat” who says something like that anyway??????!!!!!!!
I think Allison feels obligated to speak up because a young woman could be looking at pictures of her on Twitter and seeing all the mean comments about her weight, and think “hey, I’m the same size as her, that must mean that people think I’m fat too”.
Honestly, I applaud her for speaking out and sticking up for herself, because she’s really sticking up for all the average-sized young women out there.
Positive body image.
We need more of that.
Oh I understand her point, and applaud her speaking out, but as women, I just wonder why we care so much what others think? My comment was more of a general, ” Why DO we care”?
I understand the need to educate young women and girls, and honestly until I was much older I cared how others saw me. It was Solomon freeing the day I finally woke up and only cared how I felt about me. Everyone else be damned! Lol.
Oh yeah-I totally feel you on that point.
I care less and less as I get older but when I was a young girl, my body-image was everything. It was such a focus, you know? Sadly, I think that’s almost ingrained in the developmental process of young women in Western society– I’m not sure that you can separate that out.
*sigh*
Well if there’s one amazing thing about being in my thirties, it’s that the focus turns inward and the superficial bullshit gets left behind.
Compeletely agree. Obviously body-shaming (and various other superficial criticisms that women have to endure but men don’t) is terrible and should actively be discouraged. But let’s be real: it’s going to continue for a while longer. The only immediate response for womankind is to stop giving a damn what others think and see These People for what they are, namely insensitive and bad-mannered at best and vile and cruel at worst.
Exactly! I guess self love comes with age and maturity, and even then, for some it doesn’t. Words are always painful but the key is to never allow hurtful words power over you or to give those criticising power over someone’s view of themself.
@Eliza – While I understand the point you were attempting to make, the example you gave has some flaws.
1 – Ignoring that guy’s “fat” comment was less about being sensitive, rather than simply dismissing incorrect information. You described yourself as petite and tiny, with only a 5 lb weight gain. You were able to brush of his remark, because by all accounts you’re not fat. Had you’re weight been more significant such as 20+ lbs and I wonder if you would have had the same reaction.
2 – While your mom may think that you’re “too thin” by societal standards you probably still have a coveted body frame. Overall your body type isn’t considered “ugly”. Would your confidence be the same if you were slightly overweight? For bigger women (actually just average size woman) there images being splashed everyone showing that what you have isn’t coveted or desirable.
3 – I would like to acknowledge that thin women had their problems as well. Most likely thin women don’t have “curves” (boobs and butt) which can also have an impact on their system. Society says women must be a walking stick with two globes up top and on the rear. An impossible body standard to achieve naturally.
4 – EDIT: I do get your point and thanks for clarifying in later remarks. I just think that on the whole may be hard for some women to ignore. It’s just something that has to be learned with age. People’s comments and societal pressures have a big impact in different stages of life.
I have been 30 lbs heavier as well before simply changing my diet from awful snack foods to eating healthy. I couldn’t have cared less what people thought when I was what society might call fat.
I also choose not to argue with ignorant and misinformed people as that guy was. THAT was why I chose to ignore him. Often times, you cannot cure stupid and I certainly do not have the time to try, particularly with a guy who probably thinks meth addicts look hot body wise.
I grew up with words of schoolmates shaping my once negative view of myself. I HATED my looks and felt like a freak when I wasn’t and that made me a horribly insecure young woman who did, at one time, dabble in unhealthy practices to try to fit in with the beauty standard. It was only once I matured and stopped caring, that I grew to really care about ME and not the opinions of others. Once I stopped caring what others thought, everything fell into place.
I should have clarified that I was once heavier and got he’ll for that. A relative tried to subtlety tell me I was fat by saying ” You USED to have lovely cheekbones, what happened”
I guess the problem is that at least in my case, I was being told from a very early age — pretty much as soon as I was old enough to understand what a “diet” was — that I needed to lose a few pounds. If you’re taught from childhood that your body size is one of the most important things about you, that it’s OK for everyone from family to friends to comment on your weight and what you eat, and that it’s a bad thing to be heavier (or a lot thinner), it’s really hard to shake that off.
Amen, friend! *finally* starting to get there (in my late 30s), but it’s hard to undo 25+ years of conditioning.
This. My earliest memory of a sister (15 years older, a significant difference) is of her drinking Metracal, which was I suppose the Slim Fast of its day. She was/is always overweight to some degree. I watched her over the years look everyone up and down gauging weight gained or lost and always some comment. Always the look and the comment. While I realize that it’s her issue I’m still hypersensitive to weight.
I try not to be conscious of people’s and my own weight but it’s hard to relearn. The culture being what it’s turned into, hypersensitivity is probably the norm for most of us
Right on Allison! I love her and I love the show. Can’t wait for it to come back.
Side note: Sometimes the guys do get crap for their weight. (not often, but sometimes) Leo DeCapriho and Keanu Reeves are just a couple of recent dudes who had their imperfections pointed out.
Oh man…good for her. I know nothing about her (haven’t seen Fargo yet) but she seems really grounded and she looks lovely. People are aholes.
“She’s correct. Men who carry a few extra pounds are referred to as lovable, chubby types. Teddy bears. Everyday guys.”
Yup. See Chris Pratt threads (before his Big Transformation).
Men are incredibly lucky that women are so forgiving.
In the Leo threads the women weren’t very forgiving of his weight gain. There were quite a few comments about his new paunch.
True. Maybe it’s because everyone loves Pratt and hates Leo. Those two aren’t very far off in height either–Leo 6′ and Pratt 6’2″..
I love neither, O’Kitt. And you should watch Fargo, when you get a chance.
Fargo was great, and I loved her character and how they wrote a female that was layered. I love Bob Odenkirk from Breaking Bad, and it was nice to see him in action as well.
No JOKE.
I vividly remember my ex telling me that he would never tolerate me gaining or holding on to baby weight after we got married. He said he deserved to have a woman who looked at 70 the same way she did when she was 28. All this was spewed at me as he was looking over his POT BELLY.
Yeah dude, whatever. Thank God, no kids w/ this jerk. I almost have to really, *really* try to remember that we were ever married. Husband #2 would never body shame for any reason, thank God! Allison, you tell it like it is, gurl. Proud of ya.
By getting rid of him, you lost a lot of excess weight. ;-))
Yes, that seemed to be everyone’s thought at the time. Ha! Good on you. 😉
I only watched the first two episodes of Fargo. It made me anxious. And now that you say this about a disturbing animal scene, I’m glad I didn’t push myself to watch more of it.
Oh, and body shaming sucks.
People always come out to support someone NOW when they are being called Fat. everyone gets upset but rarely do i see that kind if passionate support when women are attacked for being skinny.
Body Shamming is wrong regardless. Women come in every size and shape. What is a normal weight for me may not be for someone else. I just think the uproar is not for when a woman is called fat.. but it is fine dandy to call a woman anorexic or for some to say “eat a burger” if she is skinny.
but you can’t say “lose some weight” or go to a gym.. That is wrong and ugly. But reverse those comments and there is a silence. Everyone goes on and on about how men are not attacked.. RIGHT they are not; because other men don’t do that to each other. The attacks are coming from other women. I remember pictures of some male celebs being out of shape; and how some women rushed to their defense.. saying the talent out weighted the body image.. but these same women pull out the claws and go after other women for being too thin or too fat. Women are the worst on this and we are the ones that need to stop.
I see women of every size daily. I don’t know where some people live that they only see one body type. Not on the planet Earth for sure.
Lisa2, I am 100% on board w/ that, too! Having people I’m barely acquainted with say, “Oh, are you ok? You look like you need to eat an extra meal” is equally infuriating. I’m at the age and stage where I feel justified in telling anyone who body shames for ANY reason to just suck it.
I agree with your overall sentiments, especially that picking on people for being too skinny is also crappy, but having been on both sides of the spectrum, I can tell you that hearing “you should eat a burger” is far less upsetting than being told in a hundred different ways every day that you are disgusting and your sexuality is revolting (straight, gay, bi, ace, whatever, fat people having sex is always treated as a joke) and you shouldn’t ever bother leaving your house because the world has no use for you, fattie.
The worst part of being skinny is just reassuring people that you’re not sick. The worst part of being fat is pretty much everything about how people treat you/the world at large makes you feel on a daily basis. I agree that people should not be mocked or picked on for their body, but having gone through both forms of body-shaming, the “you’re too skinny” side is not even close to what it’s like dealing with people thinking you’re fat. It’s just annoying. My self-esteem when I was at my heaviest was awful and I was actually depressed because of it.
And I think men actually do put up with a lot of in-gender judgment. One thing about being heavier is that you just don’t exist to some people, and when I was working off the weight at the gym, I would often witness really cruel exchanges between guys working out who didn’t seem to realize that I was right next to them as they harassed each other. I was shocked at first because I thought guys just didn’t give a crap about stuff like that, but I think they do. It’s just that, in general, the world at large isn’t as hell bent on making them feel like worthless pieces of crap about it.
I have to agree. In an ideal world no one would make rude comments about a person’s body and natural features – including nose, chin, eyes, smile, etc. I know I’m guilty of it at times too, so it’s something we all should be mindful of.
But I have a hard time equating the “too skinny” with the “too fat”. Not saying it can’t be hurtful and should be OK, they’re both wrong – but as a whole society, fashion, pop culture, etc is much more favorable to the underweight than the overweight.
Don’t know who she is, but I like her attitude and that green dress must come live with me!
Fargo was awesome (just crazy, like, WTF just happened crazy and awesome)!
Allison Tolman is totally awesome. I love what she has to say and hope she keeps on keeping on. Sing it, sister.
I feel so bad for all the girls coming up now. So much pressure and judgment. We should start an ‘It Gets Better’ campaign for body image! Maybe I’ll tweet her.
I understand getting trashed about your body would be annoying but I would never give someone the satisfaction of seeing me get upset especially Twitter trolls.
I think her point is to speak out about this because of things like Twitter. You can choose if and how to answer people. This was important to her, so I guess that’s why she answered. I can respect that. Also, in the industry, people treat “average” sized women who actually get work as some sort of oddity/miracle. They ALWAYS ask women who are not size 0’s things like”how does it feel to be plus-sized” when in reality, they are a 6 or 8. THAT is utterly ridiculous. Yes, some ladies are naturally tiny, and some ladies are naturally curvy. I don’t care as long as the woman is talented. The whole mindset is dangerous, as it can lead to ED’s, esp.for young girls who are impressionable and going through alot of changes.
I’m crossing my fingers so hard that she wins the Emmy (and part of me wants it not only because she was so awesome in Fargo AND she’s from my home state, but also I just want to see the pursed-lips, “No, I’m so happy for you” look on Julia Roberts’ face). I’m glad she is addressing body shaming and honestly, some of the comments made about her response when it came out a month or so ago and was reposted on some feminist and HAES sites were disgusting. “She’s just saying that because she’s a fattie” “Truly pretty women wouldn’t say that–maybe if she…” (insert list of changes she could make so the OP could find her attractive). Ugh, I’ll stop before I get really on a rant–Body shaming is a huge thing for me.
I’d love to see Allison beat out all the big names in her Emmy category (especially Julia Friggin’ Roberts), but I think that’s a long shot. She was terrific, though. I thought she more than held her own against the star performers.
And Bedhead, I’d recommend going back and watching the rest of the season when you get a chance. I know what episode you’re talking about and that was awful, but I thought the second half of the season was much stronger than the first half. I really didn’t think Martin Freeman had it in him to play such a rotten, calculating character. I like him, but until “Fargo” I’d only ever seen him play variations on the same well-meaning schlub type. Not this time!
I’d love to see her win too – I think she truly deserves it, but it would also be nice to see her win over (nominated because she’s famous) Julia Roberts.
I also agree that it’s worth getting past that particular scene and watching the rest, because it did get really good as the series went on.
Allison is a rockin’ chick – I love her Twitter feed. And I really hope Allison kicks Julia’s a$$ – I was going to say Julia’s skinny a$$, but given the topic of the article I will refrain from dissing anyone’s appearance.
It’s encouraging to see more women that don’t fit the usual “hollywood standard” find success in the entertainment industry – Allison, Melissa McCarthy, Gwen Christie, Octavia Spencer. They are as equally talented as beautiful as Keira Knightley, Natalie Portman and Lupita Nyong’o.
LOVE her!! She was incredible in Fargo. She played the character perfectly. You really should go back and finish the season. It really started off rough and by that I mean lots of killing and blood. As the season progressed it really played with my emotions. I found myself rooting for the unlikable, and then just as quick as that hating them even more. To me that is a great show when it can spin your feelings like that.
Bedhead…I don’t think I can binge watch the series now based on your animal comment. You didn’t say much but now I’m worried I’ll be tormented ny some horrible recurring image in my mind. If it’s not all that bad…can someone let me know it’s okay to watch? (No details please)
There’s a few scenes involving animal death, one of which isn’t terribly graphic but is odd, and the one involving the dog is downright unpleasant and can be fastforwarded past, imho. It’s part of a longer, disturbing scene where Lorne (the big bad) is gaslighting someone. The animal’s death is not shown on screen, but the aftermath is. The lead up, IMHO, is more disturbing in the imagery that doesn’t involve the dog, but YMMV and it *is* triggering for some people.
Huh. I definitely appreciate the explanation. I think I might have to pass on it, which is a shame because I count Fargo among my favorite movies of all time.
I am a big animal lover, and while it wasn’t a happy moment, I don’t feel traumatized by it. It wasn’t a long drawn out gruesome scene, there was just a brief shot. Honestly, I had to go back to episode descriptions to find out what they were talking about because I didn’t remember it.
Thanks for the other perspective, Tiffany. Sadly, FX has decided to take away my options by shutting down their on demand service this weekend. :-p
On the one hand she has a point, but on the other she goes to extraordinary lengths to say she isn’t fat, it’s the coat!! Contradicts her message. Better answer would have been to dismiss any comments on her size whatever that is without caveat of a ‘bulky coat’ and saying other actresses are ‘tiny’.