Celebrities react to Robin Williams’ passing. [Dlisted]
Rihanna parties in a gown & comfortable shoes. [Moe Jackson]
Pugs take on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. [Jezebel]
War Machine beat the hell out of his girlfriend. [The Blemish]
David Arquette is no longer sober. [Wonderwall]
Will Tony Stewart get arrested? [IDLY]
Jessica Simpson looks so uncomfortable in this photo. [I’m Not Obsessed]
Geena Davis will appear on Grey’s Anatomy. [ICYDK]
Sinead O’Connor has a new music video. [PopBytes]
Is Tori Spelling living on 500 calories a day? [Bitten & Bound]
What your first-date food says about you. [The Frisky]
Is Meagan Good bleaching her skin? [Bossip]
Vintage Robin Williams stand-up. [Seriously OMG WTF]
I can’t decide if I like this proposal. [Life & Style]
"Robin Williams was an airman, a doctor, a genie, a nanny … and everything in between. But he was one of a kind." —President Obama
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) August 12, 2014
Genie, you're free. pic.twitter.com/WjA9QuuldD
— The Academy (@TheAcademy) August 12, 2014
That Genie tweet broke my heart. :'( Rest in peace.
Mine too! I am trying so hard not to sob.
This has really affected me.
Me too. He embraced our humanity. It feels like a family member, who has passed.
Tiff
I saw from yesterday’s post that you are really struggling with this. Robin was a treasure that I also loved on some strange, subconscious level – laughter, my childhood, the pathos in his eyes while the world laughed, the yearning always behind the smile…this is what hurts the most. He brought real joy to so many people yet he was living in a personal dark place where so little light broke through in the end. So unfair.
For what it’s worth I am sending you a warm hug – and a pair of rainbow suspenders!
Aw, thank you, Dame! Hugs to you as well!
Your post was very well written. There was just a special sparkle in his eyes, and it reflected a lot of joy and pain as well. He had such a way of communicating the human condition and all of its nuances. I really hope he knew how much joy and insight he brought to people.
The Academy stole that from Evan Rachel Wood.
Yes. Kourtney K instagrammed that too and I thought ‘Mmmh that Genie picture is just too clever and with too much depth for a kardashian. who is she fooling?’
paola
I doubt she was claiming sole responsibility for that tweet. So, likely she wasn’t trying to fool anyone. Must she be brought up for a low blow while remembering a passed comedian. Can’t we all just remember him without judgement at eachother? Full Stop.
Mine too. I think I tear up a little each and everytime I see it.
RIP Popeye
Rest well sweet spirit, rest well.
Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 800-273-TALK
Wrong spot, but fully support.
I just wanted it at the top.
suicide doesnt take away the pain..its given it to your family and friends.
Not that this is the time or place for a comment like that, but I’ll respond anyway, because this is an important conversation that absolutely needs to happen more often…
When depression takes hold of your brain, arguments like “stay alive for your family and friends” aren’t just meaningless; they’re completely counter-productive. Depression isn’t about being really sad all the time. It’s about failing to recognize your own worth, and hating yourself, and believing that nothing you do will ever make anyone happy again. I should know; when I’m at my worst, I genuinely believe that my family and friends would be better off without me. That I’ve ostracized or hurt or disappointed everyone who loved me, and they no longer care if I live or die, so why should I? I have a partner and parents and loved ones who would be devastated if I die, and I spend every minute of my “sane” life trying to remind myself of that, pound it into my brain… because I know that when depression hits, those words are completely empty. I know that when I’m suicidal, it doesn’t matter how many people “love” me; all I feel is worthless and unlovable.
Depression robs you of all perspective, until suicide sounds like a compassionate, reasonable, and inevitable solution. Robin didn’t commit suicide simply because he didn’t want to suffer anymore. He committed suicide because his brain told him that was the only answer.
No one should ever, ever, EVER be blamed or shamed (even posthumously) for the affects of depression or mental illness on their brain. They shouldn’t be evaluated as though their decisions were just as rational as your own. They didn’t choose to have the condition, and they aren’t capable of removing it from their brain. And as long as ignorant people call suicide “selfish”, depressives will continue to ignore their disease or try to conquer it themselves. So many people die trying to fight depression by themselves. That’s impossible.
Suicide isn’t selfish… but judging someone’s death because of its effect on you? THAT is selfish.
Brittany B could not have said this more perfectly. I battle with depression and when it hits, it’s like a semi truck.
I loved him in Good Will Hunting and I’m surprised at how hard this is hitting me. RIP Mr. Williams.
Thanks for sharing your story. It can’t be easy. Here is to hoping you can find some way to end your depression once and for all.
A-mothertruckin-men.
@brittney I made that comment from my own personal experience. I’ve been on both ends, loved ones have taken their lives and I’ve tried to take mine on several occasions. I deal with addiction and trust me, I understand depression. Its been over a decade since I was in that deep hole and while I won’t go into the how or why I got out of it (it’s none of your business) that was the conclusion I came to.
For ME, suicide is the most narcissistic and self centered thing I could possibly do. There is no hope or faith left because for me, my thoughts are the only thoughts that matter and count. I only take my thoughts into consideration and make decisions for other people (“I’m sure they’d be better off without me” Did they tell me that? Nope!). Staying out of that self–centeredness keeps me alive. Your opinion doesn’t matter to me.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU for that wonderful response. You said everything I was thinking & did so more politely than I ever could.
That was beautiful, and powerful, Brittany B.
I decided not to comment on the way he died, because suicide and depression hit way too close to home for me. Thank you for your words, you said everything I would have if I had the strength.
I think you’re both right. The person who commits suicide is in massive pain. His/her friends and family are left in terrible pain.
@Brittney… well spoken. It’s exactly what I’d like to say to the people in my life when I’m trying to explain what severe chronic depression does to my mind during my dark times. Thank you.
I am giving you a standing ovation, Brittney. This needed to be expressed and you did it beautifully and brilliantly. *Big hugs*
Thank you for making this comment.
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, Brittany. I wish you all the best in your battle against this horrible disease.
Years ago, someone wrote to Dear Abby about her brother’s suicide, saying she struggled to tell people about it because of some of the ingnorant responses and the stigma. Abby told her to tell the truth – that he died from depression. Abby was right.
Exactly. Thanks so much for sharing this. I have seen some people here and there posting about suicides being selfish and people just like you stepped up and provided words of wisdom about it.
I agree suicide leaves a wake of pain, but the opiate damaged brain registers fight or flight so strongly that it is beyond any logical reasoning. Opiate users change their brains, or what in layman’s terms is called “brain damage”. I have a drug damaged brain so I want to explain this from a currently surviving non-criminal’s experience.
I attend NA and AA meetings, and the latest identifier is “I have brain damage”, not just, “I’m an addict”. The opiate damaged brain says one of three things: fight, flight or self destruct, hence with the addict we get crime, neglect or suicide.
Often with drug experimentation, there is “no going home”, but instead a lifetime of struggling with a mind that is perpetually in a cycle of panic and or depression. I’m not saying Robin Williams was flawed or weak, but to fight the damaged neurology of a brain affected by opiates is a struggle our culture needs to better understand.
@Brittney B….Totally agree.
Beautifully put Brittney.
@BrittneyB- I came here to thank you so very much for your comment. Even counselors and other folks in group have never stated what depression REALLY feels like as effectively as you have. It is so true, when your brain starts bottoming out, the wrong choice always feels like the *only* choice you have. Thank you for trying to explain this to those judgmental earth people out there.
Eloquently and accurately expressed.
People who have never experienced those feelings have zero idea of what living with depression is really like.
To me, the worst “advice” I would get would be things like, “you have so much to live for, try and snap out of it”. No effin shit, you think that if I could I wouldn’t?
Who the hell would choose to live in a permanent state of blackness of the soul, if they had a choice?
That is one of the most eloquent responses to this death. I too suffer from depression. For almost twenty years. Been to therapy, all kinds of medication, eletro shock therapy….all of it. People who don’t get it, will never get, but that is probably for the best. Depression robs you of everything……I am praying for Robin Williams’ family today. And I am grateful that I found help and therapy, but it never easy.
On the Brittney B train.
K
You’re entitled to your opinion. As I am mine. Only i’m not posting mine because you would dismiss it being too set in yours.
All i’ll say to you. You sound angry and irrational on your approach in this topic. Because of this you’re unwilling to hear the other side or understand the other side. By other side I don’t mean what the departed thought, but how hopeless it wass for them. And honestly, not putting aside those feelings to view what made a person feel so awful is selfish. You have to let go of that anger at some point.
Brittney’s comment was completely rational and well composed. That’s why everyone is in awe of it.
Brit B
You really nailed it.
Suicide is not selfish it’s a desperate attempt to stop the suffering.
It’s heartbreaking that a man who brought so much laughter and love and joy to so many was suffering so deeply and could not be saved from the grips of a cruel depression.
Suicide is the ultimate act of selfishness.
You “literally” took the words out my mouth. Although slightly more eloquently. What you said was perfect. There’s not enough awareness out there people just don’t understand.
“And as long as ignorant people call suicide “selfish”, depressives will continue to ignore their disease or try to conquer it themselves. So many people die trying to fight depression by themselves. That’s impossible.
Suicide isn’t selfish… but judging someone’s death because of its effect on you? THAT is selfish. ”
–Thank you, thank you, thank you. Well said. I cannot tell you how this angers me when others judge people who commit suicide as “selfish.”
RIP Robin Williams. You stole my heart when I was a child when I first saw you as Popeye. You’ll be greatly missed.
Adding my voice to the Brittney B support chorus; you said everything I would have wanted to say but more thoughtfully and eloquently. Thank you.
@Brittany B
I don’t care what anyone else says, I am bowing down to you right now. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I wish everyone in the world (including Doctors) can read your perfectly worded description of the severely depressed brain leading to suicide. I’ve been there and thank my roommate for getting me to the hospital in time. I am now successfully stable and on medication. I could easily have become another statistic.
I’m saving your comments and sending copies to my friends and family. People think all depression is the same that’s why even those who have suffered some level of depression or ideations of suicide don’t quite understand that they were able to step away or save themselves from suicide because they were never at the most severe depression level where your brain SHUTS out everything and the only thing running in your head over and over is to end it all. There is no room for family, friends, profession etc. You cannot think straight or reason, no matter how smart you are.
They are doing studies now to see what may be wrong with the wiring of severe depressives, I believe they will find an important difference in the future. Tony Scott, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Robin Williams, etc these were neither stupid men nor selfish asses who didn’t care about their families. Their brains just wouldn’t allow them to think about anything else but death. I really hate having to explain this to people including those who never had longterm SEVERE depression.
Beautifully said, Brittney B. Thank you.
Would you mind if I reposted this on another site? It’s perfectly written.
For a moment I had pondered responding to this, because I’m sick and tired of this kind of attitude towards suicide, but Brittney B said it perfectly.
It’s my attitude towards it because I’ve been there. Feel free to read my response to Brittney above.
This thread is about Robin Williams’ passing, and he decided for himself that suicide was the only answer. It was *not* the place for your personal views on suicide, hence the strong reaction to your original post.
in_theory
I think it was a fine place for her to post that. And it’s a completely true statement.
I have battled with depression. I’ve been at some really really low lows, and I have wished I didn’t exist so many times. But the pain thinking about what this would do to my family forced me to keep going. It’s a harsh reality – but suicide is incredibly selfish. But so is depression. Depression is a very selfish disorder, and you get wrapped up in your own feelings. There’s ALWAYS an alternative to suicide – but Robin has had issues for years and years outside of depression. He’s abused drugs and alcohol, and recently had gone back to rehab to prevent falling off the wagon. He was not well.
K shared her personal experience which is different than Robins, and that’s okay. I don’t think it’s fair to assume that all people who are depressed feel like there’s no way out outside of suicide – because that ALSO puts a stigma on an already incredibly stigmatized thing. Everyone is different, but at the end of the day, killing yourself DOES heap horrible feelings onto your loved ones.
I strongly disagree here. K had every right to share an extrenely personal and valid response to Williams’ suicide. It is her reaction to something she has struggled with in a real way and she is owning/exploring that here. Everyone can decide how they feel about her comment but this is an appropriate way to do that – with knowledge, respect, differences of opinion, varying perspectives and the ability to learn from one another.
I thought Brittany B’s response was beautifully articulated with the exception of the snark at the end. But I also learned something from K’s commen and am now thinking about her unique point of view.
All of this is necessary and furthers the conversation and brings us all closer to understanding and battling the detrimental effects of depression. This can’t happen when we figuratively, don’t let one another finish our thoughts, so to speak.
@Erinn
But it seems to me we aren’t talking about any depression, we are talking about suicidal depression specifically. I agree that it can be stigmatizing to suggest that everyone who has experienced depression has wanted to end their life, but even a severe depression without suicidal ideation is a different beast – and I have experienced both. If thinking about how your death would impact on family and friends helps keep some of you safe and alive, that is wonderful. But for many many people who are suicidally depressed, our thinking is too skewed for that to help in any way.
When I was at my worst, my perspective vacillated between 1) feeling as though I was such a burden that underneath any temporary grief they may have, my family would feel relieved by my absence and 2) sheer anger at how my family’s concern was an additional burden on my own fragile state. Neither of these thinking patterns was logical from a sane point of view, but that’s how it was and further ruminating on how my suicide attempts impacted my family actually only made things worse. That impact is something I was only able to fully comprehend years later when I was charged with watching over a recently hospitalized schizophrenic family member for a weekend and experienced the fear and helplessness first hand.
But here’s the thing, we don’t call schizophrenia selfish. We don’t call cancer selfish. But we, as a society, feel comfortable calling depression and suicide (and addiction for that matter) selfish. Why? No doubt it can be, but most diseases can be. And when we focus so much on that selfishness or on the impact on the family over the impact on the individual, it can come across as blaming the victim. I don’t think that was K’s intention, but that was my initial gut reaction to reading the comment and I think it is probably why there is such a strong response to it here.
That being said, we all develop our own coping mechanisms and I do appreciate that K shared her experiences too. It’s an important conversation to have.
K and BritneyB, thank you BOTH for sharing your experiences. This is a very loaded and painful topic.. There are so many variables. Thank you for kindly and respectfully shedding light on how depression has affected you.
I wish you both love and continued strength to go on ♡
I agree. K is right and so is Brittney. The bit of “argument” over it here actually really well-illustrates the struggle with coping with suicide. It IS something that transfers the pain to your loved ones in a terrible way. Guilt, what could/should I have done, why didn’t I see this coming, how could this person *choose* to leave us, etc. It’s a horriffic thing to put on your family and friends. It’s also a decision made by a very *ill* mind, not capable of seeing things clearly, feeling like they’re doing their family a “favor” by removing themselves as a “burden,” able to hear nothing but the storm in their mind.
BOTH viewpoints can simultaneously be true. Some of the anguish of grieving someone lost to suicide is trying to reconcile your immense anger at them for being “selfish” and intentionally leaving with the deep sadness and sympathy of knowing how they must have been suffering.
Also, the number of commenters on here with experience with clinical depression and suicide is eye-opening. It’s reminding me of that saying, I forget the exact wording, but it’s to the effect of always be kind and gentle to people, you never know what someone is going through. You may never know how an offhand snarky comment is the last straw that throws someone depression-prone into a bad state; and you never know how an offhand kindness or smile is the shred of kindness or hope that propels someone struggling forward. I will be keeping that in mind extra.
@AlmondJoy – well said. A lot of psychoanalysis and judgment toward K going on here. I feel like the spirit of this thread is being missed when a poster who admits to suicidal thoughts and depression is slapped down en masse. How you can tell a person their own experiences are invalid is beyond me, especially when K says it’s this view that keeps her alive.
If it’s the right thing to do to support those with depression and suicidal thoughts, then we must support ALL who experience this diagnosis – not just those who phrase their opinions the proper way.
@K, I hope you see that you have been defended by several people. It sounds like you’re in a better place now. Your beliefs are valid (even if I don’t share them), and I wish you well.
@tabasco, beautifully said. Thank you. <3
Very well said, almond joy. I agree.
K didn’t say a word about selfishness. She merely pointed out that the pain experienced by the person who ends up dying by suicide ends and the pain of losing a loved one that way does not. She may have meant that it’s a selfish act, but she didn’t say that and for what it’s worth, I didn’t read it that way. That may be due to my own experience, as the daughter of a parent who died by suicide when my sister and I were in our very early teens whose surviving parent refused to talk about it. My heart is broken for Robin Williams’ family, for what he must have suffered in the decades leading up to his death and also filled with gratitude for all he gave to those of us who never had to deal with the human being behind all those genius characters and vignettes. May his memory be for a blessing.
Well said.
@ Brittney B,
Thank you. It’s the attitude that you just addressed that causes people like us, who suffer from the same condition, to have a breach in a proper support system. No one chooses to be chronically or severely depressed. Anyone that does not suffer from a physical or mental handicap such as depression should thank their lucky stars because they don’t have to experience the hell that we live with everyday.
@K this is not the time to judge. if you have no idea what it feels like to be so dejected/demoralized and in so much emotional turmoil enough that you can’t fathom why someone would kill themselves, consider yourself lucky. Depressive disorders are pernicious and your comment and judgment only adds to the pain of those who are/have been there and the families that are coping with a loss. Comments like those made by you, Shephard Smith, Rush Limbaugh & @ChrisFieldsMN are cruel & ignorant at best
I don’t really read this as blaming or judging someone else’s pain or decision to commit suicide. Those of us who do not suffer from depression may never know the depths that you sink to when you are felling low, but I don’t think that necessarily makes Ks statement judgemental. It is, in fact, true. When someone commits suicide, the pain IS felt by those around them, and that pain is in fact inflicted (however inadvertently) by the person who commits suicide. These are painfully true statements. For all the frustration and desolation that the depressed person feels that others may not understand, that is the same pain felt by those left behind; the questions, the wondering if we could have done more. Those left behind feel cut out, helpless, and blame
Themselves. Yes, sometimes people call it a selfish act…but often they do so out of the pain of grief. Except for the Rush Limbaughs of the world. He’s just an arse. In a way you are both right. I think this probably feels judgemental to those of you who know real depression because you know that there are no words (as Brittney has said) that can convince you that life is worth living. But people say things like this on the hopes of reminding the depressed person that they are cared about. They are the words of someone who is trying in the best way they can to remind you that people actually care.
If anyone has time and if you haven’t read it yet, please read hyperbole and a half blog by Allie Brosh. It has an accurate description of what a person battling depression is going through. It has child-like illustrations and it was written in a humorous way but it doesn’t make light of the situation.
hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/
Thanks for posting that – I’ve read it before and it is a powerful piece. Also, I stand by my earlier comment – K NEVER used the word selfish, and a whole bunch of people piled on him/her for what they brought to the party. All K said was that the pain doesn’t end. I read it as an observation, not as a value judgement.
I think K and Brittney are both right as well. We can see suicide as being selfish from the outside looking in because we know the pain and guilt the family is in.
We also know that depression is a disease often (not always, but often) involving actual altered brain chemistry. I heard a doctor phrase it quite well. ‘There are very few thoughts more unnatural than ‘I should end my life’; so when someone has thoughts like that, you know something is VERY wrong.’ So we know that Robin was not to blame for his action. It was the altered state of his mind, that he could not help, that made him take this route. He didn’t see any other option. There ARE always other options, but that doesn’t mean that they’re visible to the person who needs them at the moment they need them.
I do think it’s sad that some people are romanticizing his suicide. Some people are saying he made the right or courageous choice, and I find that very sad. I know he did what he did because he couldn’t see any other option, but it’s still tragic that he couldn’t see the other options. Just because it wasn’t his fault, or him being selfish, doesn’t make it any less of a tragedy that someone so loved, who brought so much joy to others, didn’t realize he had other options.
Oh no! Pugs and Turtles blocked on my computer! Make the funny work now!
I think I’m gonna watch The Fisher King again. Saw it about three years ago. He was good in it and it had a meaningful message.
That movie is so powerful.
Beautiful film. I had to watch it last night and cry a little bit. One of his best.
I think I’m going to watch (and listen) to everything all over again. My dad had the good fortune of working with him on Mork & Mindy and Popeye, so on occasion my brother and I got to hang out with him backstage. He was so nice to us awestruck kids, treating us as if we were his own children. His unique energy was unparalleled and my heart absolutely breaks for his friends and family. Nanu Nanu, Robin!
Nice story, mimif. I liked Robin Williams in some films, but his frenetic energy, especially in interviews, kind of wore me down. I could see it being totally fun for kids since that energy has a very youthful element to it. It sounds as though he was a nice man in real life.
I totally getcha, mad genius (in all it’s forms) can be exhausting.
True story: my mom left my dad after he and Popeye went on a bit (cough kilo) of a cocaine bender. Those crazy boys could party…
Did you ever see The World According To Garp? Great book, too.
@mimif, I love The World According to Garp. I just thought of that ending today. Garp, in the helicopter dying after being shot – “I’m flying Helen. I’m flying.”
I’ve always enjoyed his restrained roles the best. Along with Garp, my favorites are Awakenings, What Dreams May Come, and Dead Poets Society.
Yeah, I forgot about that one (Garp). Loved the book. John Lithgow, too.
Robin Williams was there, at some point, the night John Belushi died. I read it last night. SERIOUS drugs, pushing the limits.
Wow, so this is really personal for you. How’d your dad take the news of this death?
Outer limits! And I hope I don’t come off as sounding too personal; it’s more nostalgic for me (it was a long time ago) and again my heart goes out to his loved ones.
My dad passed away just about ten years ago from drug & alcohol related causes, but I gotta say (write) it did give me pause for a minute. He would have been gutted. And then he would have done a huge rail and talked about that one time at Carrie Fisher’s house… 😉
@mimif, sorry to hear that the partying took your Dad’s life, ultimately. Were they ever in touch after that time period?
We’re all nostalgic to a certain degree. Hell, I’m sometimes nostalgic for time periods in which I never actually lived.
I went down the John Belushi rabbit hole. DeNiro was there that night too. I wonder if he and Robin remained in the same circles, after that horrible event.
And here’s an interesting take that Williams had on Mel Gibson and drinking:
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=2515796&page=1
Look at us having an evening chat! I love it. 😀
Belushi was the business, literally. I mean the amount of $$ those guys spent on drugs was astronomical, even for that era. For the record my, dad was just a glorified drug dealer who just happened to live (and work) in Studio City at the right place and the right time, and so had a lot of “friends” in the business. Partying was the basis of his friendship with Robin, and no they did not continue their friendship after that time. As I recall, Robin got sober and my dad ran off to Paris with an underage model.
*Wtf I’ve never posted so much on a public forum in my life. Nostalgia is a helluva drug!
That article was great, thanks for sharing. Much like everyone else commenting, the saddest thing to me is that he understood the nature of addiction & depression and yet was still swept in by the undertow. Depression is the biggest liar on the planet. Depression is the real ass of lies!
Life is short, Kiddo, and cheers to you my friend! 🙋
@mimif Even though I’ve never met you, you have given me many great laughs, And so back at you, Cheers! And yes, depression is a big fat ass.
I can’t get “friend like me ” out of my head. I’ve played it on YouTube a couple of times already. That genie tweet made me tear up. However, he will always mrs. Doubtfire to me. When that movie came out my cousin and I would quote that movie all the time. Sadly, my cousin is also suffering from mental illness and is in an institution now. I hope one day these that people can be more open about mental illness and not have to worry about being made fun of.
I hear you. Sometimes I think I’m being overly sensitive when I cringe to read someone use “OCD” as a lighthearted term for being really attentive to details or extremely demanding when it comes to cleanliness. Or “insane” or “schizo”. Even when I think to myself that it’s obviously not meant to be so literal, it’s still really telling just how NOT seriously mental illness is taken. I still think of the episode of “Scrubs” where Michael J. Fox portrayed a doctor with OCD, who was found at the hospital several hours after his last surgery because he simply could not stop washing his hands. All I could think was “I’ve been there” but never had I seen it so honestly portrayed – “I’m tired, I want to go home, but I can’t stop washing my damn hands…” With such a prevalence of illness, symptoms, and disorders, one would think we wouldn’t be so joking about it all, especially when we can see firsthand the very serious toll it takes, such as with poor Robin. I genuinely feel like part of my childhood has died.
Sometimes the life of the party is the unhappiest person there.
+1
It’s just so sad. I still can’t believe he’s gone.
He grew up in the same city as me and I always felt proud that he was from here.
I was reading a piece about his friendship with Christopher Reeve and I found myself in tears.
He was so so intelligent to know the depth of his problem. Being such an explosion in front of the cameras for all his fans was probably what brought him down in his personal life.
He seemed so very aware of his condition and not even the love for his children, wife, family friends and fans could help him.
‘When a man of such beautiful compassion flickers out, what hope is there for the rest of us? ‘
I’m picturing him and his good friend Christopher gallivanting together in this precise moment. Maybe it is true..after life there is more.
Tonight I’ll be watching my favorite film: What dreams may come. And I’m sure that it’ll make me selfishly feel better. At least for today.
I thought of Reeve too. I hope he and his extraordinary wife Dana were there (wherever “there” is) to greet Robin.
Too many argue that depression is a “deficiency” of character. Williams proves this so wrong. His character was impeccable, but sadly he was ill and in agony.
You know that one person you’ve been worried about? That person who has been on your mind? You’re just not sure if you are imagining it? Call them. Today. Now.
YES, Mia4S!!!! Today. Now.
Reading about their friendship and how Robin was there for him in the darkest of times really says all you need to know about Robin’s character.
I thought that a lot of the coverage was tacky and gross. I flipped back and forth between channels, and they all had moments of grossness. Did Dr. Drew really need to describe asphyxiation in all of its gory detail on CNN? Just bad taste. And then the constant going on and on and on about his past drug issues from over 25 years ago (I’m looking at you, FOX). It just pissed me off. I even heard one well-known news anchor, who shall remain nameless, state that maybe he was possibly a coward. That’s when I bowed out for the night. The man just died for Christ’s sake. No wonder his family took his Twitter account down almost immediately…avoid the random crazy.
The drug thing really irks me because they focused on that instead of the fact that he took himself to rehab and hadn’t used in quite some time I think.
Dude, you get what you pay for if you watch Fox News and/or Dr Drew.
^this^. Watching Fox is never a good idea.
What bothers me about the coverage of his substance abuse issues is that, at least it what I saw of it, is that it was talked about separately from his illness. Maybe I’m wrong, and I’m certainly no doctor, but it’s possible he developed substance abuse issues due to brain chemistry problems – addiction and depression together are quite common, aren’t they? It seemed like an important moment to discuss the correlation between the two, but I didn’t see anyone doing that.
I think this is often the case. A person who feels they are only ‘passing’ for human, or who feels essentially disconnected from or uncommitted to life, contrasted to those he’s always been around who appeared to take living as an automatic skill……for such as these, drugs either ease psychic pain or make it easier to pass as being fully alive. But it’s bad chemistry, and I think many know this and accept that there will be be a frightful price to pay, but for the moment it seems like the necessary decision.
(Doubt anyone can make sense of all that, sorry)
Chris, that makes a lot of sense, very well put. It’s called self medication and I was just talking about it with a friend who is worried about her son, wavering between seeking help for him and hoping it will pass. I gently tried to nudge her into finding help for him, intimidating as it may be, so that he doesn’t resort to self medication for his angst and anger and pain.
“Dude”, I was flipping channels. I caught the end of some interview with Dr. Drew on CNN. But, whatever. That was totally what my post was about – what channels I watch. But yes, let’s make fun of me for no reason and go off topic.
I wasn’t making fun of you, I was pointing out the obvious about those sources.
Come on now, it was meant as a lighthearted Fox “News” jab…and I’m inclined to agree. There are just some “media” outlets that you can always rely on to sensationalise and troll, and you named two of the biggest offenders. I’m sure there was no malice intended.
I’m on the fence whether to throw E! News in with that lot. They had a constant scroll at the bottom of their screen during their news segment yesterday announcing his passing, sure, but this was the death of a TITAN in the industry. And nothing… I had to listen to them go on and on and on about the Kartrashians’ wardrobes and other crap. I ended up switching to CNN, and logging on here! – to get more news.
Maybe the release of the info was too late to air a segment?
I avoid news channels when a big celebrity dies. They focus in all the negative. Obviously, he was trying to get the help he needed, he was in rehab recently. Look at all the good he did in life. I still can’t believe I’m so affected by a man I never met. I’ve almost cried a few times and I’m not a big crier, especially when celebrities die.
I hope he found his peace in the afterlife.
At least this time most outlets are reverential to Robin’s family. Michael Jackson’s death coverage was insane, everyone was going full TMZ/ Daily Mail to Jackson’s family.
I am so truly sad about this. He was a real genius. We have suffered a profound loss. I am very sad.
This has hit me pretty hard. There’s a Sesame street tweet out the that hit me pretty hard to. Just him laughing with a muppet. Man. RIP.
Oh captain my captain.
Rest in peace great man! such a gifted and lovable artist…
also rest in peace Mike Brown!!! I know this is a celebrity focused blog,but this tragedy is so important too.
The situation in Missouri is literally giving me a panic attack. It happened again in South L.A. I’m praying for the safety of all the citizens in Ferguson.
I still can’t believe he is gone. He had such a kind, mischievous demeanor. I wish peace to him and comfort to his loved ones.
K, thank you for your bravery. Your point is as valid as Brittany’s, and I wish you much continued strength.
The one that got me was: “Bangarang Peter. I hope you find Neverland. Thank you for teaching me how to fly”. Oh gosh, now I’m crying again…
Is this sad? In his final decision/moments, do you think he felt relief and if so, shouldn’t we as well? I am truly curious as a local mom of 2 boys recently committed suicide in the same way so it has been on my mind a lot. When I first saw this I thought of her and thought, “there seems to be so much darkness in bright worlds” but if they are escaping their personal demons, shouldn’t we feel happy and relieved for them…this is a blessing?
I see your point. It’s great that now he is free, but sad that so many people loved him, I’m speaking more towards his family, that are left without him.
I know a few people who committed suicide when I was younger, family,friends, and acquaintances. It’s tough.
There’s a part of me that feels that it’s his right, if treatment wasn’t working. Although the thought of his peace, I’m sure, doesn’t diminish the pain of loved ones. He had some heart surgery in the last few years and maybe lingering health issues that could have played into his state of mind. In one interview from years ago that I read last night, he said something to the effect of not forgiving himself for things done in the past when he had been abusing drugs. Then his show was recently canceled. Who knows what type of stress he was under. He said he took the show originally to pay bills and alimony and so forth. I don’t know if he was kidding or not. At least he lived his life and didn’t take it while he was young. I guess that is a strange thought, but one that occurred to me, wrong or right.
Good point Kiddo. We also don’t know if he was having anymore heart or health issues. As a former heart patient, I know tides can turn any minute. He could have been given a horrible diagnosis as well. No one knows, at least in the public. I’m glad he wad bake to share his talents with us, just wish he could’ve stayed a little, and found the help he needed.
May he rest in peace, and be out of pain.
Well on the other hand, my reasoned thoughts, if that is what they are, aren’t being spoken during a time where I personally feel despair, so I should leave this here:
Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 800-273-TALK
“Suicide should never be presented as an option,” AFSP chief medical officer Christine Moutier told Dewey. “That’s a formula for potential contagion.”
Additionally, suicide is complex, and there is no “one” reason why it happens, according to CDC. Most people who commit suicide do exhibit warning signs such as talking about wanting to die or about feeling hopeless and without a purpose; increasing alcohol or drug use; displaying extreme mood swings; or withdrawing and feeling isolated.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2014/08/12/what-happens-when-a-suicide-is-highly-publicized-in-the-wrong-way-the-suicide-contagion-effect/
Reading that he had made superficial slash marks to his wrists first with his pocketknife before hanging himself with his belt has broken my heart for him, because all I can think of is his emotional anguish in those minutes of his life leading up to his death. Learning about the cutting at his wrists is so hard because it’s more violent and you can almost feel that intense dark emotional pain he was in at the moment and him just wanting to stop it, end it in any way he could. Nothing about it feels peaceful to me for him except once it was over. But I hope also his final moments were just a drifting off to unconciousness. I’m just so sad for Robin and the pain he was in. It just makes me so sad. I so wish they had found him in time and he could see the outpouring of love for him and how beloved he is and maybe had a second chance at life. Maybe it wouldn’t make any difference, but I can’t help but wish.
When my cousin committed suicide in front of me, I thought she was a bunch of nasty words. Then I was angry that she had me hold her hand. After that, I was furious that she had managed to do it when I had suffered longer than her and my attempt should have worked too. Next came anger at leaving me to deal with her parents and having everyone blame me for not stopping her or telling anyone how she felt, even though I had no time to do so and no clue about it until it happened. About a week after the funeral, I was just glad that she was free and hopefully at peace. There have been times when I wished she had waited until she was an adult to see if life got any better, but I’m still glad that she’s free from the pain. Since we suffered from the same disease and my life has been on a steady decline because of it, I do wonder if maybe she might have been one of the lucky ones who would have been able to manage the depression with the current treatments or if she was more fortunate than me by getting out while she still had a life of mainly happy memories.
I guess my point is that her loved ones have moved on. Did it hurt them? Yes. However, unlike her, they had the necessary receptors to “keep keeping on” without constant agony. Her family initially hated her, but they realized with therapy that what they actually hated was feeling helpless and being left behind. A decade has passed and their thoughts now are that they just hope that what they considered happy memories were actually happy ones for her too.
@V, what a heavy burden you carry. You can beat yourself up for the rest of your life, or you can accept that your cousin wasn’t alone when her life ended – which was her wish. My best wishes for you. You sound like you’re still in a lot of pain, and I hope you have loved ones who support you.
@mayamae – Thank you. I don’t feel responsible now (although I did at the time) and I think she picked me because she knew I’d understand her choice. Sometimes, that’s the best you can hope for.
No Kelsie, I can’t agree with that. Some people have really persistent suicidal impulses but some people have impulses that pass relatively soon.. and if they can survive those impulses, there’s hope for them to go on until their mood evens out. It’s not a solution, because there are no options once you commit suicide.. Wishing peace to his family. My dad lost his mom to suicide as a teen. There is definitely a void there.
Marc Maron reposted an old interview from his WTF podcast with him-it is brilliant and heartbreaking and so funny. I’d take Robin in his own words over the mainstream coverage any day of the week.
Thank you for this! I’ll make a point of listening to it. I’ve just recently discovered Maron’s WTF podcasts and they’re a real treasure trove for fans of comedy.
Robin Williams was universally loved . I have been on Gay Blogs, urban blogs like Bossip ,where there are literally hundreds of comments about him. I will spend this weekend watching Awakenings , Bird cage, Mrs Doubtfire, etc . I will have my own movie marathon. I realize I have been crying because I’m heartbroken that this man who brought me so much joy thru the years died alone in so much emotional pain. Also I cry for his kids because they lost their daddy.The last time I cried after a celebrity died was Michael Jackson’s death.This may be more shocking and painful because Robin ended his own life.RIP Robin I know you are making God and the Angels laugh and I know you got a “good seat” in Heaven
“I’m heartbroken that this man who brought me so much joy thru the years died alone in so much emotional pain”
I am right there with you. I hope he knows he was loved.
@kim1, There were outliers. Don’t go to Fox News, it will make you stabby.
Robin Williams dying was a terrible lost to society. He seemed like such a great man. Fought so many demons, but they just coming back. I hope he’s able to fight them off in the afterlife.
I’m more affected by this then I should be, considering that I’ve never know this man personally, but he and his characters were a huge part of my childhood. Mrs. Doubtfire, Aladdin, jumangii, and so many more. He was a funny man, and phenomal actor.
Remember, now is not the time to judge whether sucide is narcissistic or not. The majority of time suicides are committed on a whim, hence why there is usually no note. This man suffered years of depression and relapses, but he tried to overcome them. Sometimes, there’s nothing that can be done.
My prayers and thoughts are with his family and friends. I hope he finds the peace he wanted and needed in the afterlife.
RIP. Robin Williams, and say hi to my brother up there, he was a huge fan of yours too.
Still upsetting.
On the day all my bridesmaids and I had our dresses fitted and went to lunch, one of them, my dear cousin, begged off due to work. We had a great time anyway and didn’t think too much of it. Until her sister went home to the apartment they shared and found her brains all over the wall. Thank God she hadn’t picked up their 5 year old daughters from daycare, yet. This was not a spontaneous act, she sent letters to many in our family, which arrived a couple of days after her death.
For awhile (a LONG while) I was just pissed. But now, 13 years later, I see what a multifaceted thing her suicide was. I have feelings of relief for her, as she struggled a long time with bipolar and addiction. I have feelings of anger, since she allowed herself to be found by her sister, and possibly her own young daughter. I am mostly sad that her daughter really never knew her, because she was awesome and amazing and full of life. But all that being said… it was her choice. I wish she hadn’t made it, but she did.
And Robin’s death has stirred all those emotions in me – sadness, anger, relief… I pray that he’s happy now, and I pray for his family as they walk through this awful time.
Some plan their suicide as your cousin did, but a lot of people do it on a whim. At least, that’s what I’ve experienced in my own personal life, and many statistics say. Suicide is a tough subject in, and of itself. I’m sorry for your loss, and glad the five year old was sparred the sight.
I attempted many times when I was younger, and almost succeeded the last time. Luckily, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and just dropped everything, then bawled for hours. I hadn’t written letters notes or anything. Didn’t give anything away. No one even knew I was depressed, least suicidal, everyone is different with depression. In no way am I trying to demean anyone.
I hope that mental illness are no longer pushed under the rug, and people labeled as outcasts, so that people can get help they need.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6u5wVGngD_c
This is how I want to remember him 🙂
I wished Mr. Williams knew how much joy his work brought to varying peoples of differing demographics. The outpouring of love and sadness is heart rendering. But depression in some cases can be construed as anger against self – while searching for why, who and what to do?
May he find peace ; and his family and loved ones solace in the good memories that they shared. He was probably a gentle sensitive soul when sober. R.I.P.
So sad tonight 🙁
I love Robin Williams. I grew up with his movies and he was a part of my girlhood.
And I’ve been battling with depression for a couple of years and it makes me sad to see that even someone who has the means he had couldn’t pull through…
I used to think that way too (“they have all the things I don’t and yet they’re not well, so how am I supposed to get better?”) It occurred to me that maybe, having the means makes it worse, not better. You know you have access to the best care, so it depresses you even more that you’re still not well. When you don’t have everything, you can at least pretend that things would be better if you did have it all, you know? I think there may be more hope for those who have yet to reach the top than those who’ve have already been there.
Being someone who suffered depression in the past, I can totally relate to that feeling of absolute loneliness, even when you’re surrounded by people that truly love you and knowing it. It’s something indescribable but truly heartbreaking. This is why his passing has affected me so much and why every time I read how “he was loved” (not that he wasn’t) as if saying that because he didn’t know that he was loved he made that choice…. I don’t know, I really feel like I let someone I love down and I never knew him, but I kind of knew his pain. This is really sad 🙁
+1
I remembered this morning and cried. I still can’t believe it. How could he be gone? I once joked to a friend that he’d live to be 103. He left us 40 years too soon.
The only other public figure I was this upset over was Princess Diana.
I was hoping it was a huge death hoax. This is truly the only celebrity death that I’ve gotten upset about, and actually shed a year for. I’m going to have to find something in my movie collection, or check starz. Such a sad, sad lost.
I hope his soul is in peace now.
I wish I had just once let him know how utterly vital he was to my mental well-being. He never failed to deliver. I’d also let him know he will always be a part of my life. I want to cry when I think of how tormented he must have been.
I love RW, his films have been a part of my childhood and I will always remember him as those characters. Full of heart and hilarious without ever being mean-spirited or hurtful. I have never experienced severe depression over long periods of time so my views do not come from a clinically depressed person. It’s just sad, he died with a wife and 3 kids who will have to feel much of the pain he left. I am relieved that he is free from pain but also I believe suicide is a choice, no one doesn’t have a choice to kill themselves. It’s very complicated and the best thing to do it avoid judging and hope his family and especially his children can find happiness and peace again in their lives.
Suicide is not a choice, I mean not a conscious one when you’re suffering from severe depression. People who kill themselves don’t think about the loved ones they are going to leave behind. They just want the pain to stop.
Between you and Brittany up higher, you guys nailed it on the head perfectly.
god speed Mork!
you were my comedic idol from childhood. helped me embrace that being funny is ok even for a girl who always felt she was “different”
gby
So I hated that proposal. I would be angry if that is how my bf proposed to me. Am I the only one? Does that make me an asshole?
No, I felt the same. I hated it as well. Just like when people propose on Valentine’s Day.
My husband and I saw Good morning Vietnam on our first date over 25 years ago. It’s one of my favorite movies because he was such a comedic genius especially at improv. For my kids it was Jumanji and Mrs. Doubtfire He was great in so many movies it’s really hard to pick just one.
I hope you’re at peace, Robin Williams. (I also hope you weren’t mobbed by family since most of them are up there and they all loved you…my aunt must have known you were coming because she died the day before just so she could greet you too!) I hope you make a stop at “dog heaven” because I know an old girl who barked at all your jokes and would wag her tail off if she saw you.
I haven’t cried this hard in months, but you’re so worth it.
It seems odd that someone who had endured so much and was so proactive about maintaining his sobriety just weeks ago would all of a sudden decide to take his own life.
I wonder if a recent change in meds may have contributed to his suicide.
I was wondering about possible medications. I knew a guy a bit older than him that was put on meds that actually caused depression to get worse, commit suicide. I guess, we will find out when toxicology comes back in a few weeks.
Is suicide selfish? Depression selfish? . Do we call bi-polar and schizophrenic people selfish? OCD? PTSD? Since when did mental illness become a “selfish” condition? The term Mental Illness should give you some hint that these people can’t rationalize like a healthy person. For those of you who say well I have been there and I didn’t, no you haven’t been where Robin Williams was, each person experiances thier own depression/schizophrenia/etc differently and since each mind is so different we can’t “know” how they felt. True Mental illness is a disease and it is very hard to cure. Robin Williams was not “selfish” or a coward, he was sick and obviously could not rationalize clear thought, just like the many others who take thier lives every year. It is this response to Mental Illness that keeps it taboo and mis understood.
^^ This. There is no paint brush wide enough to color all the different experiences of those of us with mental illnesses as one big, gray entity. Too many degrees of it, too many different coping mechanisms that will work for five, but not five others. I applaud everyone who has shared their stories here today, and as a member of this club myself, hope we all get a rainbow very soon.
This loss is affecting me a lot, as someone who only knew him from his work, but I relate to his public persona a lot. The fast-talking, always on, a comment for everything personality. It is a mask, I know for myself, to hide what I’ve been made fun of and criticized my whole life for- for having an illness that I can sometimes push back at, but that I cannot totally defeat. It’s easier to be a clown and not worry others, than to be who I really am, and be told to just cheer up, to just fight harder. Well, f#ck those people. I’m mentally freaking exhausted, and sometimes, I just don’t have the strength. I “should” be happy now, I got married a few weeks ago, and I’m moving out of a crap hole, and by all accounts, my life is improving. Yet, for the last week, I have been fighting this demon in my brain, that is doing his level best to convince me things would be simpler for my husband, for my family, if I just quit this life. I haven’t really talked about it with anyone but my husband, and though I don’t doubt his love for me, don’t doubt that I would leave a pretty big hole in his life and heart- that voice is still there, saying “he’ll get over it, you’d do well to relieve him of you, you’re a burden.” I’ve felt that way, to varying degrees, most of my life. And right now, I am choosing to try to believe the good and not listen to the lies in my head. In my heart, I think Robin Williams tried to do the same for many years, but he finally just got too tired. And that scares me. I know that tiredness, I know wanting to die, researching it, planning, trying. Maybe I’m stronger than I think, maybe I won’t be one day. But for now, I’m at least trying. I hope that his heart is now free of that pain, and I hope his family can find some peace in the coming time. The world is hurting for and with them now.
I’d hug each and every one of you here, and I don’t even like hugs. You all matter. Even if your brain tells you otherwise, you matter. You are important to someone, even if it’s just a stranger you smiled at yesterday. Love and hugs and hope from my little corner of the world. Too many of you have made me want to watch “The Fisher King,” so I think I may just go do that now <3
Thank you, this is what I was trying to convey up top in my earlier post, but it ended up coming out differently than intended. I’ve only attempted suicide, but was luckily stopped. I hope Robin has peace now. I can imagine him cracking jokes left and right. I loved watching his interviews, he was so funny. I always thought there was a sadness in his eyes though.
You’re free now, Genie.
The Reeves foundation site has a lovely dedication to Robin and his friendship with Christopher. Have tissues handy. RIP to both the them.
http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.ddJFKRNoFiG/b.9194659/k.A689/Remembering_Robin.htm
omg that christy mack story is something she is lucky o be alive
I hope that Robin Williams’ death wasn’t in vain. That is to say, that I hope that the news and other major outlets shine a huge spotlight on depression and the power it can have even over the strongest of people. I told my mother about Williams’ death. Her reply was,” I don’t understand why he wasn’t happy. He had all that money. ” Annoyed , I then explained to her that depression has nothing to due with how many material resources you have. It is not only caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and drugs don’t cure it. This is one of the major reasons why I have not informed her of my major depressive disorder because the attitude towards it is, oh, that person is just sad. They should toughen up and deal with their problems. People just don’t understand depression and how debilitating it can be. It’s like, do people really think someone would choose to brought in this world with a physical or mental handicap and off themselves just for fun? No. People end their lives because they can’t handle the depression. I’ve been on a crap load of medications that have done nothing for me. I’ve been to therapists, who haven’t helped me realistically cope with any of my problems. Severe depression can be reoccurring, or it may never leave the individual at all. I just wish that people wouldn’t disregard illnesses just because they don’t understand them.
I hope you can find a path that helps ease your depression. I know this sounds hippie-esque. I used to suffer from mild to severe depression and since I’ve discovered Yoga, it’s done a heap of good. I still have bouts, but manage much better than I ever have. I do ashtanga and power yoga.
Best of luck.
I don’t think his death has been in vain thus far, so many celebrities have posted suicide and depression awareness on their twitters and facebooks. It’s a step forward, I hope the media doesn’t destroy it.
Lauren Bacall just died. Wtf? So ironic that I just watched the movie that she and Bogey made–To Have and Have Not…they worked well together.
She was one very special woman. May she rest in peace.
Similar experience with my Mom. She was watching Bicentennial Man on cable Sunday night, My stepdad asked what’s the ending and my Mom told him that Robin died peacefully of old age.
I agree, Lauren and Bogart had chemistry despite the age difference. No icky feels watching them together.
And RIP Lauren Bacall- such a beautiful, sultry actress with an enduring career. Bet she had some great stories to tell. What a sad week.
(Why am I always stuck in moderation?)