Director Baz Luhrmann is a true master of cermonies when it comes to his lavish movies. He’s currently promoting an Emporium gala in Melbourne, so he chatted with the Mail Australia to promote the event. The conversation revolves mostly around Luhrmann’s family life. He and his wife, Catherine Martin, have worked together on almost all Baz’s movies. Catherine produces and does and costume design, and the costumes are always intense when it comes to Baz. They work together and play together. Baz reveals that they do need time apart, and that time comes at home.
Baz and Catherine sleep in separate bedrooms. He says that’s the secret to their successful relationship. Is that strange? I suspect more couples do this than any of us realize. People don’t always talk about it though. Separate sleeping arrangements are often viewed as a harbinger of disaster. Baz and his wife do have weekly “hotel dates.” That sounds really hot:
Baz & Catherine sleep apart: “We worked out a long time ago that we both need space. We are surrounded by our teams of staff all day every day, whether travelling, at work and at our homes. I was finding I was saying things in passing that weren’t properly thought through, things would become fraught. We both needed time to ourselves.”
They do sexy hotel weekends: “We always do our Saturday night date. We dress up and go to a restaurant or maybe see a show, but mostly we just talk and catch up. It’s very much our escape, our quality time together. It’s very romantic and keeps us grounded and connected. Then we head back to the hotel and the next day is important too as we relax, watch TV and don’t head home until after lunch.”
His family life: “The children are totally used to travelling and our crazy, circus lifestyle but we are coming to a point as they get older where we need to be in the same place for longer. We want to spend more time with them.”
Working away from home: “We are fortunate to have a house team of staff in both houses and dinner is served every night at 6pm. Catherine is amazing and no matter what she’s doing she always eats with the children and I do my best to be there too at least a couple of times a week. I love it when they visit me on set too, William has been known to shout ‘action’ which is a bit dangerous!”
He wants to work with Leo again: “He’s not only one of the best actors of all time but he’s also a great friend. I’ve known him and his family since he was very young so working with him is a wonderful experience when you have that trust and rapport.”
He’s protective of his young actors: “I always make sure they have family back up and support because that’s vital – it can be very tough on children in particular and I take great responsibility for the young people I cast.”
[From Daily Mail]
Separate bedrooms obviously work for Baz and Catherine, and if it saved their marriage, I don’t see the problem. My own parents kept separate rooms (one of them was a very loud snorer). I remember worrying (during sleepovers) that my friends would think it was weird, but no one seemed to notice. At least they pretended not to notice.
Some couples just thrive on plenty of solo time. Others need to be together at all moments. That would drive me nuts, you know? I don’t prefer separate bedrooms as a personal preference. But if some dude wanted to cuddle 24/7, that could change.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN
If you and your spouse are completely on the same page–then yes this can work.
If either of you has even the smallest insecurity about it though, it can turn into a significant problem down the road.
Lurhmann seems like an ok guy but he is a terrible director, he is all style and no substance, he should stick to commercials and music videos.
I agree, but people do rush out to see his films at the cinema. He made Gatsby a huge success. People like the spectacle and while I think his films are indeed sometimes very silly, they’re something different.
“he is all style and no substance,”
TOTALLY agree, Gatsby was the 1st DiCaprio film I found boring, there was just no depth. It was like a very, very long music video.
Not only am I pro separate bedrooms, I’m also pro separate homes, lol.
Me too! I wish I had the money… Maybe one day:)
Me and my ex live in separate homes and we are both much happier 🙂
THIS.
I like to read, or spending time on the internet before falling asleep, boyfriend is not into this kind of stuff AT ALL (turn off the light!) , now I still have to buy all the fornitures but I am definetly going to have my very own room in this house.
Yes. I might like separate homes during the day and sleeping together at night. I can see how that might work.
I agree.
I love the solution of Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton of having two connected homes.
That actually sounds like what Baz is saying – he says “homes” as in plural. I think they may have two homes, which is a bit more unusual. but hey, whatever works for people.
One of the guilty, secret pleasures of being divorced in your 50s, kids grown and gone …is sending the bf back to his house on Monday morning!
@Jenns: One of my close friend’s parents did that. They were together for over 20 years years and decided to leave in their separate homes (She stayed with the city house and he stayed int he beach house). It was the best decision they made. Actually, it saved their marriage and made they behave very flirtatious like in the early phase of their relationship.
I’m all for it. There were many nights when I laid next to my ex listening (and smelling) him sleep like a barnyard animal, while I tried to get a corner of the duvet and maybe a couple hours of sleep. I broached the subject of separate bedrooms and he flipped out. Thank god I have my bed to myself now!
Same here…and mine was a sleep walker who would piss/sh!t/vomit in our closet. One time, he gave me a concussion. Separate bedrooms from that moment on. We divorced a few years later.
Just. Wow.
That sounds very hard to live with…
Waahh..That’s pretty scary! I’m not sure how I would deal in that situation.
My ex and I pushed 2 single beds together. That gave us separate beds but in the same room. If I didn’t go to sleep before him, it took me longer to fall asleep because of the snoring. I tried to convince him to have a sleep study done as he also had sleep apnea. Apparently his current wife is more intelligent than I am because he now has a C-pap machine.
I don’t think I could sleep in the same room with any of those outfits.
Ha ha ha…
I see nothing wrong with two beds. In fact, if I ever live with a dude I want separate everything–separate closets, separate beds, separate bathrooms, maybe even separate houses.
My momz never taught me how to share.
I would love separate houses next door. My honey is a slob and so is his son, they could live next door and trash their house and I could have the beautiful glittery abode I’ve always dreamed of.
I’m an only child, and that was probably the biggest adjustment to marriage. Having someone in my stuff and business all the time, and trying to feel like they had a right to be in my space instead of resenting it, was a difficult transition. I want to be able to curl up on the couch in silence and do a crossword, or only watch what I want on TV. Fortunately, my husband, Mr. Social Butterfly, always has a night or two where he is out either for business or personal friends, and I travel 6-10 days a month, so I get quiet, peaceful times without anyone in my space. He also makes allowances for my need for “mine, mine, mine” within reason, as long as there’s no tangible impact on our family. I’m considering a new job where I will travel less, since we have a family now, and it will be interesting to see how it impacts our dynamic.
I totally feel ya, Kitten. I’m in my thirties, and while I am definitely still growing and changing, I am pretty set in my ways and know what kind of person I am and how I want to live. I like my stuff where I put it! There will have to be private, separate spaces with my next dude, regardless of whether or not he shares my lifestyle. I can probably share a bedroom and bed if he isn’t an obnoxious sleeper, but I will need a Lady Cave/Diva Den/Girl Gulch of my very own somewhere in the house, cuz I really need my space sometimes. I have friends who constantly have another human in their space at all times, either their Sig Oth, or a child. I know I would go insane if I were in that situation!
Ha Kiddo, you read my mind!
Yes! I love having separate rooms (and dream of separate bathrooms!), I don’t get why that is so controversial. I just want to sleep (as in actual zzzzzs).
Same here. We have had separate bedrooms for years and it works. He snores horribly and I have a sleep disorder where I don’t sleep well, which makes for trouble. I end up not sleeping and poking him all night to stop snoring, and so he ends up not sleeping, too. We are both much happier actually getting sleep.
^^This. Hubby and I don’t actually have separate bedrooms, but there is a comfy couch downstairs that he usually ends up on (and often starts on as well). He snores A LOT, and I have major sleep issues…. makes for really lousy sleep for both of us. The real beauty of this arrangement is that it’s more convenient for him to use the bathroom downstairs as well…. LOL It’s not like I refuse to share my bathroom, but he so rarely uses it that I am quite used to not sharing it!
I can’t stand her but if I don’t have to look at her, or listen to her then I don’t have to divorce her. = Marriage saved!
They work together all day long…..
I like having a spare bedroom to run to when I need it. Now if I just had a “house team of staff”.
if it works for them, whatever.
my husband and i love to sleep basically on top of one another, so this def wouldn’t be for us. 🙂
on a separate but related note, i wish people who snore really bad, and who can afford medical assistance/have insurance, would get help for it. it can be a serious problem (not enough oxygen intake etc), but a lot of people just seem to ignore the issue and just live with it.
I dumped a dude because he snored.
That might make me an awful person but I sleep with EARPLUGS and I could still hear him.
At my urging, he tried the nose-strip things but to no avail. Sadly, I had to cut Sir Snoresalot loose.
my sister snores like a damn truck, unless you put her in another house you can hear her snoring, so I totally believe you. I would have done it too.
Snoring is a deal breaker for me. Yes, sometimes it’s medical, but for me….nada. hit the road jack. No exceptions!! Life is too short.
Yes. Snoring is a no-go. So is the kicking leg thing. What the hell is that?!
Did I forget to mention the meat sawing all night long? In addition to sleep walking, he snored like a bone saw AND HAD SLEEP APNEA. He would ‘t breathe for minutes, then his arms and legs would shoot out making him LEVITATE over the bed then fall. I mentioned earlier that he gave me a concussion. He was asleep and did a swandive into my head. The marriage should have ended then.
I like snoring, I find it very calming.
When I was a kid, my dad had some health issues and one time he fell unconsciousin front of me. It was hands down the scariest moment of my life. A couple of months after that, I couldn’t sleep, I would go to my parents bedroom a doezn times per nigt to see if he was okay. So my parents started to leave our bedroom doors open, and if I would hear dad snoring, I knew he was okay. I’ve gotten so used to it, when I went away to college I actually missed the snoring.
I think it depends on the person you’re with, and their level of snoring. Snoring used to drive me INSANE. Now, my husband snores sometimes (allergies) and sometimes has a “leg thing” – but I don’t give a crap.
Easy, girl. We were living in Washington,DC and were not only in couples counselling, he saw an EEN&T who saw the extra flap of skin in his throat and scheduled day surgery. My husband disappeared THAT MORNING and showed up drunk the next day shouting: “If I die, I die” from sleep apnea. Separate bedrooms were a temporary fix until our divorce on unrelated child neglect charges in 1989. Did I miss anything, Maybe??? Politely get a grip on your own shizz before attacking another poster.
@ Sumodo-…well you win. Now I’m thinking My Snorer wasn’t all that bad after all. Maybe I should have stuck it out because at least he wasn’t pissing and sh*tting in my closet.
BTW, I don’t think maybeiamcrazy was being hostile? I didn’t read her comment that way anyway..I think it was more made in complete disbelief.
@ maybeiamcrazy
Your comment wasn’t abusive. Asking about available medical assistance to someone and saying good on them for being safe is not abusive. Sometimes people reveal too much info about themselves, then become defensive about nothing.
I think it was just a simple misunderstanding, really.
I reported her comment as abuse.
I am sorry if you read it that way, I wasn’t trying to be hostile. Actually I asked if you seek medical solution because I was genuinely wondering. Because that seems like a dangerous health issue.
like @souzal and @TOK, i read @ maybeiamcrazy’s comment to convey “holy crap, that’s insane.”
My ex snored. Loud. I would roll him over in an effort to get it to stop. One night Imight have accidentally pushed too hard and rolled him out of bed. (did I mention our bed was really high). He stood up, all confused, and asked me what had happened and in my sweetest voice “you must have rolled out of bed”…
Omg i did the exact same thing! Only I confessed… How was I supposed to know he’d keep rolling? He’d never done that before!
@AG my husband and I sleep on top of eachother too lol. And he snores, bad. And he has PTSD induced night episodes that can be terrifying. But all of those things are nothing when you really love someone. I get the idea of separate beds, we all need head space. I have 3 kids and I have to have at least some time every day without someone climbing all over my face. But I’m smh at some of the reasons stated for dumping men. I’m glad I got married young enough (23) to grow with someone.
My husband and I sleep separately 3-4 nites a week. Actual sleep has gotten really important to us both as we’ve gotten older and had kids. And its hard to get a decent nites sleep when somebody snores or moves and wakes a lot in their sleep. Its actually improved our sex life. its hard to get turned on if you haven’t had a full nites sleep in weeks.
If you or your partner is a loud snorer,of course it will save your marriage
Muir did a special on this. There was a couple, who slept in desperate bedrooms because the husband liked to his guitar and the wife liked to read a book at bed time. The wife said that the guitar playing infringed on her book reading and they were always arguing because one would go to bed earlier than the other and the other would still have the light on. They said that after they started sleeping in separate bedrooms, their problems diminished. They could even decorate their rooms the way they wanted. They had a small son as well. Maybe something similar could help save more marriages.
I wish my husband would do separate rooms, but he gets put out at the mere mention. But he hogs the bed, snores to high heaven, and dammit, I’d like to have a pink bedspread.
I think it’s sweet that your husband gets upset at the thought of sleeping without you. 🙂
Yup. My hubs just had a milestone birthday and is determined to feel that he is still young so he falls into bed around midnight and watches tv until he doses off. I would rather take the light off around ten and sleep in the silence. But he’s not into the separate rooms discussion.
If your partner is a loud snorer, I’d worry more about his/her health than sleep! My husband was a super loud snorer and at my instance had a sleep study and found out that he stopped breathing over 100 times an hour every hour he slept. Now he has a CPAP and sleeps perfectly silently and his general health and energy level has improved greatly.
That said, who cares what works for another couple as long as it works? My aunt and uncle have always slept in two separate twin beds in the same room. I guess I can get the separate beds but why, as an adult, would you want to sleep in a twin bed? 🙂
Awesome that your husband got checked out – I wish more people would do it, and realize what a different a CPAP can make.
So MollyB does the CPAP keep you awake at night? I’ve been wondering about this.
Mine likes to migrate and snore in different rooms. Fortunately he has a mancave upstairs and sometimes camps out there.
My babes and I do this..I’m really restless at night sometimes and go through bouts of insomnia and he snores too..so it makes sense for us and we’re very close. I do miss his company, some nights I ask him to stay after we kiss each other goodnight. Oh well.. having a bed all to myself is amazing..
I’d imagine it works perfectly for them considering how tight they seem to be.
I feel like I have the best of both worlds. My husband works third shift (nights) and I work a regular business day (9-5). He comes home in the morning and I’m already up and showered to go to work. We both get a full-night/day sleep w/out interruption and we have our weekends to sleep together. I need to sleep together sometimes. I want the cuddly cozy thing and Hello! morning sex! But, alas, only on the weekends.
id love separate homes….I live in a house full of men and their junk/mess. Between my husband and our small sons, I would be sooo content with my perfectly decorated, no peanut butter, crumb filled, mud filled, messy house. I was an interior decorator and small boys changed my home completely. le sigh.
I’m about to be a new mom to a little boy in a few weeks (god, hopefully. Over. This. Pregnancy.). I’m also a type A, very organized, love to decorate kind of girl. I’ve also been living on my own for ~10 years and been able to be the master of all things all the time. The last few years living with boyfriend have been…challenging. Your comment gave me a panic attack.
congrats on the baby! and you’ll be ok. 🙂 flexibility and being able to roll with the punches is key with babies. you’ll adjust. 🙂
Side note- am I the only one who thinks Leo is NOT a good actor? I feel like he’s one of those pretentious actors who is completely full of themselves. But maybe that goes with Baz’s thing- all fluff no substance.
No, you’re not the only one! I have never seen the appeal – he always seems so bland and flat to me.
Same for me! I like the movies he’ s in, but he’ s usually the one actor who makes me think: “This movie would’ ve been perfect had they cast X instead of him.”! He’ s done dozens of movies and I think I have liked his acting a grand total of three times!
My husband and I have slept in separate rooms for several years. He snores, and I’m a light sleeper who gets annoyed by having someone else in the same room as me. Also, he goes to bed later than me, and it woke me up every night when we shared a room. Getting good sleep can only make a marriage better.
Personal space is a beautiful thing. Plus, sometimes a bed only has room for one human in addition to the dog.
I came here to post nearly the exact same thing, lol. Except I sleep with my cat.
I have trouble sharing my house with other people, let alone my bed.
For me the best idea would be having interconnected houses with a common area, so i could be close to my partner but without losing my individuality. This way both parts would have a place to keep their personal things, receive people and enjoy interests the husband/wife does not share. The bonus part is that you wouldnt have to bother anyone with your mess or bad habits for most of the time. That alone is great for the relationship because we know how daily life is the thing that kills the romance.
The sleeping part is the tricky thing for me because i love the intimacy of it. But thats probably because i never slept with a snorer or a sleepwalker so i understand why some people might not like it. Personally i couldnt sleep on my separate bedroom every day but once or twice a week can do a world of wonders for the relationship.
Btw i think Baz is a great looking guy and i love his sense of style but he has to go easy on the plastic surgery. His face is starting to look super shiny and waxy
The thought of someone all up in my space every night gives me anxiety, I don’t think I could handle it, so I’m all about separate bedrooms! I used to be a cuddle bug but after having my daughter and now being single for so many years I don’t want to share my bed, at all. I’m the type of person who honestly thinks of beating someone who wakes me up, I get crazy and irrational when I’m woken up by anyone other than my child, so definitely not a good idea to share a room, lol.
I would hate separate bedrooms, but whatever works. I love separate bathrooms when possible.
i would hate them too. i’m actually really surprised how many people on this thread seem to be all about the idea – i didn’t realize it was so common. but, yeah, a separate bathroom would sometimes be nice. haha
24 years of marriage & 24 years of separate bedrooms. it’s the best! you’re really happy to see your mate when you’ve had a peaceful night’s sleep. i have no idea how you can get any real rest when you’re in the same bed with someone.
my husband likes to keep the tv on, the windows closed & the shades up. i, on the other hand, need to simulate death to sleep.
& believe it or not, it’s great for your sex life. it always seems just a little illicit:-)
Simulate death..I laughed out loud! That’s awesome you’ve been together so long, I hope I can find someone who won’t mind my need for space. I tried living with someone once and made it about 6 weeks, he couldn’t handle me going to the guest room every night but I really don’t sleep well with others, and not sleeping can make a person go insane!
My ex and I used to do the Lucy and Ricky thing with two matching beds seperated by a nightstand. It actually worked out great. The sleeping arrangement, at least.
I agree with needing space so a few nights per week, I hang out in the bedroom and watch TV up there by myself. Usually with our cat.
My parents are married for 30 years and they have separate bedrooms from ever since I could remember. They don’t snore, but my father is a very morning person and he goes to sleep early evening and my mother is a night owl. When they sleep in the same room, the next day they always are cranky because of mutual unwanted wake-up calls 🙂
Hm. When does the sex happen? My hubs and I work together, but we sleep in the same room. In fact, we’ve made our room like a little oasis – it’s definitely our retreat space. When we need to get away, he has a large workshop on our property and I have my office, which I love. But I can’t imagine not sleeping in the same room!
Hey, if it works for them – great!
Personally, I’m torn. My husband and I are very different sleepers – I’m a night-owl, he’s an early-bird; I’m a heavy sleeper, he’s a light sleeper, etc. He also isn’t able to sleep with the kittehs because they keep him up all night.
On one hand, I’d love to have a separate bedroom if only for the kitty cuddles… but on the other, I’d really miss my husband cuddles. 😐
A king size bed saved my marriage. I’m fine with snoring or having to quietly watch Netflix with earphones but DO NOT TOUCH ME when I sleep or face the wrath of hell.
Also part of the separate bedrooms contingent (and, luckily, separate closets and bathrooms too!) I’m a light sleeper who was constantly woken up by the restless sleep and snoring of my husband when we shared a bed. Now I would never, ever go back to a shared bedroom (except on holiday). As an introvert, I love not just the undisturbed sleep, but the alone time. I read somewhere that couples who sleep separately have a better sex life as well, and I can say it sure doesn’t hurt ;-).
Whatever works-! And I really enjoy his movies- esp the look of them.
this entire discussion has made me think about the socioeconomics of things, including those of the commenters on this thread. realistically, two separate bedrooms aren’t something that most people can afford. especially once they have kids. so, this isn’t even an issue for most people, whatever their preference would be were they in the position to have multiple bedrooms. so odd.
not to mention, the declared inflexibility of people – “i’m unwilling to change, i like things my way, i don’t like people in my space.” i’m really surprised by this for some reason.
Well, true Ag, but many people who can’t afford two bedrooms don’t actually live with their baby daddies. And if you asked many people in cramped situations whether they would take a separate room if they had the chance, many would say yes. So it is lucky to be in that position.
As far as “inflexibility” women spend a good portion of the day accommodating other people and denying their own needs over those of others. I don’t consider needing a separate space “inflexibility”. I consider this people doing what they need to do in a crowded society to maintain their sanity.
It’s a character trait – like any it can be bad in the extreme but one also has to be true to one’s self.
Oh God I would love to have separate bedrooms. I snore, have leg kicky issues, want to read, have insomnia… Hubby falls asleep the second his head hits the pillow but is a light sleeper. would love to just have a little togetherness time then skedaddle to my own space!
I’ve always gotten gay vibes from him.
Why does his wife have a “team” or her own staff? What does she do?
She is a three time Oscar award winner for costume design. She employs and oversees one of the most skilled and sought after film design workshops in the world. Her specialty is period wear. Her work is stunning.
My parents have had separate rooms since my older sister moved out. My mom is a big snorer and my dad is an early riser. My mother had grossly assured me separate rooms does not mean ‘what I think it means’ and it makes them both happier.
And hey if you have the right finances to have sexy hotel dates every weekend more power to ya!
My husband and I sleep in separate bedrooms. He has insomnia problems and is a really light sleeper while I snore or “breathe too loudly” (sure I’ll stop that pesky breathing right away). We’re happy together (and well rested).
Nearly newlywed (9 months in a few days) and after 1.5 years of trying to sleep in the same bed, a sound machine, benedryl, and ear plugs I, on a regular basis, give up & head to the guest room. I am not nice if I can’t sleep & if he’s keeping me awake I just get more and more mad… and as a talker when he says/snores a hey, ha, huh sound I “hear” it and my body wakes up immediately and that’s it I’m up hours. Nevermind that he goes to bed early and I’m a night owl — it was all making me insane and had to give.
I should have been an only child, don’t share well. This was my house for nearly 2 years before we met & the fact that I gave him a bathroom is the nicest thing I could have done with him. If it were financially possible he’d prolly have his own house and I’d visit …
My husband sleeps with a mouth guard and supposedly that prevents him from snoring, although it’s actually about 98% effective. I honestly can’t imagine having separate bedrooms. As it is, he comes to bed late and is up early to walk the dogs. Sone nights I feel like we ARE in separate bedrooms.
The key point he made, IMO, is that they both WORK and LIVE together, plus parent together. That’s a lot of together—-down time makes sense to me. I’m someone who needs space, too, though. But seriously, imagine 24/7 with your partner.
My boyfriend and his wife have separate bedrooms! So… Not so great for the marriage