Venice: Can jewelry p0rn save Uma Thurman’s pleated Jenny Packham?

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So far, the Venice Film Festival has been a snooze-fest as far as fashion goes. Most years, Venice gets some fashion girls, some bigger models and some bigger international stars on the red carpet… not so much this year. But here are some of the photos that I found interesting. Let’s start with Uma Thurman in this pleated Jenny Packham two-piece at the Chopard event over the weekend… how is it possible for such a naturally glamorous woman to look so… blah? I blame the dress. The dress is BAD. But the Chopard jewelry is fabulous. Finally! Some jewelry p0rn.

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And here’s Uma at last night’s premiere of Nymphomaniac: Volume 2. I can’t find the designer ID. It’s not important. This dress sucks too.

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Charlotte Gainsbourg is also in Venice to promote Nymphomaniac: Volume 2. Here are photos of CG at the photocall and premiere, plus one extra premiere from a few days ago. I think all of these outfits are Louis Vuitton. I know for sure that two of these outfits are LV, but I’m not sure about the leather boob-dress one. She’s really tight with LV’s current creative director Nicolas Ghesquière. He’s a long-time friend and she’s a long-time muse. The photocall outfit is cheap-looking but fine, I just hate those lace-up booties. UGH I HATE THEM. The leather boob dress is inappropriate but I like the beaded dress a lot.

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And finally, here’s Catherine Deneuve in Jean Paul Gaultier Spring 2014 Couture. I love Deneuve and she’s the fiercest grand dame of the French cinema. But this dress is a NOOOOooo. Luckily, Catherine was with her lovely daughter Chiara Mastroianni. Chiara wore Christian Dior Resort 2015 – a cute little number. Chiara is beautiful, isn’t she? I remember when Chiara and Benicio del Toro were hot and heavy. That was a long time ago!

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Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

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28 Responses to “Venice: Can jewelry p0rn save Uma Thurman’s pleated Jenny Packham?”

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  1. Audrey says:

    The only good thing in this post is the necklace. This fashion is pretty rough

  2. lower-case deb says:

    the jewelries are out of this world! very regal.
    Uma’s black dress looks like she’s be-tailed half a dozen skunks 🙁

    Deneuve’s dress looks like Mother of He-Man couture line.

  3. PunkyMomma says:

    Cathrine looks like she’s in pain – her upper torso looks frozen. Her daughter, Chiara, looks just like her father Marcello. And Chiara’s little Dior dress would look good in my closet. Uma – why the drapes?

  4. hutter says:

    Lana del Rey wore Uma’s necklace at Cannes last year, didn’t she?

  5. Susan says:

    Ouch, that last dress makes her look like a linebacker.

  6. Meredith says:

    That dress made Deneuve look like she is permanently shrugging her shoulders or that she has some sort of physical deformity in her back-shoulders area. It is such a shame when a designer makes a beautiful woman look unattractive. This is Catherine Deneuve for heaven’s sake. Show some respect, Gauthier!

  7. MrsBPitt says:

    They all look atrocious!!!!!!! I do LOVE Uma’s jewelry, though! Catherine looks like she is about to bust out of that dress, like the Incredible Hulk when he gets angry!!!!

  8. in_theory says:

    Deneuve looks like a body builder or as if she had air pumped into the upper parts of the dress. Just… weird. But also amusing somehow. The rest is either boring or fug.

  9. Kali says:

    Feel free to flame me but considering the fairly risque movie she’s promoting, I honestly think the leather “boob window” dress is ok on Charlotte Gainsbourg. She always has that very insouciant and cool French vibe in pretty much anything/everything she wears so it doesn’t look sleazy at all. It’s just a really unexpected design.

  10. Renee says:

    I think that Uma looks good in both dresses. The top one has a 1960s/70s vibe, I could see a character on either Colombo or McMillan and Wife wearing this. The second one I like because it is not so cookie cutter, and she looks good. I couldn’t get away with this type of style.

  11. Hello Catty says:

    Lol @ Catherine’s dress / body builders outfit. She looks like she’s freshly pumped after a gruelling weight lifting session.

  12. SnarkGirl says:

    Snooze fest is right.

    I do love those lace-up boots though, just not with a dress. I’d love to see them paired with some slim black cropped pants, or some looser, cuff-rolled jeans.

    Poor Catherine D – it’s like she went for a structured look to make her look slimmer & keep everything in place, and she ended up with the Blue Tube of Perma-Shrug Doom.

  13. SamiHami says:

    Ugh…Charlotte Gainsbourg looks horrible and is such a horrible, horrible actress. I’ve seen her now in 2 movies-the utterly useless and pointless Antichrist and the porn movie Nymphomaniac vol 1. She actually made sex dull in her porn flick. She’s just a wooden, one-note actress. I think some people mistake her flat affect for depth that just is not there.

    • JWQ says:

      I thought I was the only one to think that! Everyone I know who knows who she is keeps saying she is an intense, awesome actress! I have seen some movies with her and she is just plain bland and boring!
      She also looks horrible in these pictures! I don’ t think she is that gorgeous to begin with, but there are times in which she actually looks good… but these clothes and make-up (or lack of) are atrocious!

  14. poppy says:

    chiara’s for the win
    -and it looks like napkins pieced together. fancy green napkins.
    the black uma dress isn’t so terrible (but with that necklace, NO), nor the beaded full length dress on charlotte.
    the rest are atrocious, seriously AWFUL.

  15. tracking says:

    Wow, it takes seriously bad fashion to make a gorgeous woman like Uma Thurman look bad. I don’t mind her black dress–it’s kind of architectural and interesting–but all the other dresses are atrocious.

  16. NEENAZEE says:

    I predict that Kim Kardashian will stuff herself into the leather boob dress before the end of the year…

  17. Emily says:

    Why does nobody bring the bling anymore?

  18. kri says:

    This is some high-level Fashion Tragedy shit. Catherine-WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Omygod, this proves that anyone can look hideous if they try hard enough. The only thing I saw that made my eyes stop burning were those rubies that Uma had on.

  19. Eames says:

    Uma is gorgeous. The dresses are okay, but the colour of the Jenny Packham looks great on her.