I know a lot of you Americans won’t know who Jade Goody is unless you have heard about the who UK Celebrity Big Brother fiasco, but I felt it my duty as a blogger living in Blighty to throw a trashy UK tidbit to the English readers of this site, instead of just going on about Lindsay Lohan and the Hollywood Brat Bunch yet again.

Jade Goody is pregnant with her third child, her first with boyfriend Jack Tweedy. Good Lord, if there was ever an ad for Planned Parenthood, this woman should grace all posters for their organisation to make teenage girls think of what not to do.

Jade Goody first became a public laughingstock famous for appearing on UK’s Big Brother in 2002. Whilst there, she astounded us with her intellectual wit (she thought Saddam Hussein was a boxer, and that Sherlock Holmes was the inventor of the toilet). She also nauseated the public by playing an ill-advised game of truth or dare, for which I am currently still receving therapy for after watching the episode. She didn’t win Big Brother, but she won public adoration for basically making Paris Hilton look like a rocket scientist in comparison to herself.

She surprisingly managed to parlay her stint on Big Bro for the last few years into a successful “career” of sorts — just like other reality TV stars, being famous for doing nothing. She had two children with a non-celebrity named Jeff Brazier, and due to her volatile temper they split up. She continued to be the face of all things “Chav Chic” when she finally joined the UK Celebrity Big Brother house this year.

Her years of being adored for being lovably stupid were suddenly brought to a halt when the public were shown what careful PR manipulation had hidden from them for almost 5 years — that she was an ignorant, loud mouthed, uncouth bully who may or may not be racist (the racist allegations against her have never been fully settled). She took part in bullying Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty (yes, the woman involved in the Richard Gere kiss controversy), and became Public Enemy #1. When Shilpa won Celebrity Big Brother, she got to meet PM Tony Blair and The Queen, and was proclaimed a hero for gracefully putting up with Jade’s racist bullying. Jade Goody, on the other hand, has been publicly shunned ever since.

Does Jessie have a point with all this rambling, you ask? I do indeed, ladies and gentlemen! The moral of today’s story is to not worship false idols. Jade Goody should have never been allowed to become famous, whilst other hard working talented individuals are still languishing in waitressing jobs. When no talent hacks like Jade and Paris get famous and idolised, it encourages other generations of nobodies (Miss New York, anyone?) to come out of the woodwork to try to get a cut of the media action. Aren’t we all sick of reality TV show stars by now?

Oh, and the second moral should be to use three super strength condoms when screwing Jade Goody for the sake of humanity.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Header image is of Jade pregnant with a different child. The inset image of Jade nude is probably the truth or dare Big Brother incident Jessie is referring to. It’s scary.