I was struggling for leads and considering writing about this Newsweek profile of undercover republican Queen Letizia, but I decided on discussing Princess Charlene instead. No disrespect to Queen Letizia! The Newsweek piece is actually really interesting, it’s just too long to really parse. This Charlene story is also really long, but it’s much dirtier and gossip-heavy. As we know, Princess Charlene and Prince Albert are expecting their first child together (Albert has multiple children strewn across the world by multiple baby-mamas). I’ve seen photos of Charlene the past few months, and let me tell you… she does not look pregnant. At all. I’m not sure what’s up with that. Apparently, she’s due in December and there are reports that she’s expecting twins. We’ll see. In any case, European gossips are talking about Charlene’s misery. You can read the full Daily Beast piece here, and here are some highlights:

*People in Monaco are happy about the baby: Former playboy Albert has at last done his duty and provided at least one legitimate child (hopefully there will be a boy), following two illegitimate ones. And Charlene? Well, she may be “common as muck” as one part-time resident of Monaco scathingly describes the daughter of an IT developer and a swimming instructor from a middle class South African town (in Monaco, as in France, your provenance is everything) but “at least she has proved herself capable of reproducing.”

*She’s depressed: Sources tell the Royalist that Charlene had been becoming increasingly depressed over the last three years by her failure to provide a son and heir to Albert, and although the pregnancy has not been easy, she is relieved that an end to the ordeal of the last three years is in sight. “She does not expect to be suddenly warmly welcomed into Monaco society, but she does think that after giving birth – especially if it’s a son–she will be more free to go off and do her own thing,” says one member of the European society circuit. “She has made little secret of the fact she would rather be back in South Africa, or London, or Paris, or anywhere but Monaco.”

*Charlene hasn’t made any friends in Monaco and “She has also refused to learn French, which has gone down badly (although it should be noted that Albert’s first language is English, which he spoke with his mother, Princess Grace, and when he speaks in French, he stammers, a legacy of his domineering father to whom Albert was obliged to speak in French at all times).”

*Charlene is addicted to plastic surgery: “A lot of people are hoping she will just stop the plastic surgery now she is finally pregnant.”

*Albert’s sister Caroline has hated Charlene from day one: Part of the problem, some say, has been Albert’s older sister, Caroline Casiraghi, who it is widely thought would like to see her eldest son, Andrea, as the next occupant of the Monaco throne. She has done little to help Charlene settle in, but there were some encouraging signs this year that Albert was beginning to fight back against his domineering older sibling.

*She’s isolated: Says one person with close knowledge of the principality, “She is isolated and sad. She has no friends. She will crack in the end.”

[From The Daily Beast]

Wow. I find it interesting that most sources aren’t saying that Albert mistreats Charlene, but that everybody else does. Apparently, all of the rich bitches of Monaco hate Charlene because she’s terribly middle class, plus the French thing. And I totally believe that Caroline has never made Charlene feel welcome – Caroline always wanted the throne to go to her oldest son Andrea. Andrea, who has a son of his own now. Poor Charlene.

Photos of Charlene and Albert from August 1:

Photos courtesy of Getty, WENN.