Remember in the good old days of Goopy Smugness when Gwyneth Paltrow would deign to list all of the food items she had eliminated from her diet and her kids’ diets? At one point, she stopped consuming bread, pasta, rice, dairy, eggs and coffee. She wrote a cookbook about it too, and she gave interviews because she was so proud of herself for her creepy new version of an eating disorder. Note: I’m not saying gluten allergies aren’t real. I’m just saying “gluten allergy” has become the latest trend in extreme no-carb diets. And yes, at one point (2013), Gwyneth claimed she had a gluten allergy.
Well, well, well. In this week’s Goop letter, Gwyneth gets a private baking lesson from Zoe Loeb, a pastry chef and wife of one of Gwyneth’s friends. Gwyneth declares “I am a good cook, and a s*@t baker.” What follows is… rather amazing. Gwyneth bakes! She describes recipes for beignets (PEASANT), brioche (!!), chocolate hazelnut scones (?!?!) and peach squares with flaky dough (how gauche). WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY GOOP?!
Some people have suggested that Gwyneth has been thrown for a loop because her (estranged) husband is dating an Oscar-winning 24-year-old natural beauty who tosses back pizza, beer and all of the gluteny wonders of the world. Perhaps. Perhaps this is Gwyneth’s attempt at being “relatable” in some weird way (I want to see her put her mouth on those damn scones). Perhaps this is some kind of technique to win back Chris Martin’s carb-loving heart. I have no idea.
Sidenote: I came across these new quotes from Jessica Seinfeld about Gwyneth. Do you buy that Jessica and Goop are really that tight? Tight enough that Jessica feels it necessary to repeatedly go out and tell media outlets about her friend’s strength, etc? Anyway, Jessica says this about Gwyneth: “She’s the most wonderful person, misunderstood in a way that’s baffling to the people that love her. I think the people that hate her are the same people who, if they were in the same room with her, they’d be all over her to get a picture and autograph. … She’s great, and she’s happy, and she’s deeply loved. Way more than most people I know.” Er… no. First of all, I don’t hate Goop. She amuses me. And if I met her, I’d probably say something about her hair (“Hey, girl. Stop with the center part” or “You can get a really great conditioner at CVS, you know”). But I also find it creepy that Jessica is all “Gwyneth is deeply loved,” not that Gwyneth loves deeply. Is this also about Martin Lawrence?
Photos courtesy of Gwyneth’s Instagram.
Yes, it is always about Martin Lawrence. I just had to change my breakfast plans to a big, steaming bowl of nothing because of an earlier Martin Lawrence post upset my delicate tummy.
Every time someone says Martin Lawrence my thoughts go to the Bad Boys actor…is that just me? I found it super confusing when he kept getting linked to Goop…
me too and that’s sooo very disturbing
Yeah, it’s weird. Why can’t people just come up with some dumb portmanteau like they do with every other celeb couple?
I think she always said that the weird elimination diet was something she does once in a while, not 100 % of the time.
She did a culinary show about Spain, obviously she sometimes eats bread. I think she’s stated before that she eats all kinds of things but “balances” it with those weird detoxes etc.
To play devil’s advocate, there are lots of different gluten free versions of baked goods. She could be using wheat free flour…
yeah, I was just about to ask if the flour was gluten-free?
As for Goop, meh.
Sometimes I can muster the interest to read a story or post a reply ( like today). Most often though I just shrug or roll my eyes and move on.
Well, i would eliminate diary from my diet lol.
Heh heh…..yep, who cares what day it is, just say ‘no’!
Gluten ‘allergy’:
I’ve noticed that unless I eat a small amount of (brown) bread each day, (ie one slice of toast), that after a gap, the next time I eat it I get a (very) mild gastric upset…..and aching knees!!
Certainly no allergy, but that interests me, as I do much better with spelt and rye rather than wheat but often can’t be arsed to make the effort.
(While I revere and still more or less observe the guidelines of the magnifique Montignac regimen, I also have a secret, semi-shaming belief in the blood group diet rules…..according to which I should avoid most grains, being not much more advanced, by blood group, that yer average neolithic hausfrau!)
Hahaha!
I feel the same, and having had blood tests to determine the cause, the best the doctor could tell me is that I have a non-coeliac gluten intolerance. I can still consume it without going into the depths of Hell (so, not allergic per se), but highly advised not to.
I have baked gluten-free bread on occasion, and whilst it is delicious, it also has the consistency of cake, which my brain cannot always fathom.
But aren’t rye and spelt gluten flours too?
Sorry Asta
In my mind I’d diverted to waffling about wheat rather than gluten…..should have made that clear.
1) I don’t hate Gwyneth, I don’t really care that much other than reading about the crap she does/says because it’s amusing.
But 2) “if they were in the same room with her, they’d be all over her to get a picture and autograph.” No. I’m not a fan of Gwyneth either and wouldn’t give any sh-ts about meeting her or taking a photo with her.
Yeah I don’t care enough about her to hate her either, I don’t think many people do honestly. I just read about her laugh a little and then move on.
Did she eat them though? I honestly can’t be bothered with her anymore, I don’t even believe half of what she tells us about her eating habits or those of her kids because she’s always been so inconsistent. Who the hell knows what goes on in her kitchen.
This gluten allergy fad is annoying. Food allergies are notoriously difficult to diagnose (my doctor basically told me if I think I a certain food doesn’t agree with me, it’s best if I just test is myself for a few weeks) so unless you suffer from a gluten intolerance (or, God forbid, celiac disease), it could be any number of things. But I guess some people just need to be special snowflakes.
yes agree with you, Most normal people will just recognise that bread makes them fart and it’s best avoided, but this one will have the worst gluten intolerance ever experienced in the history of human kind and deserves our undying sympathy for the hell she has to live in. God I could slap her, I really could.
That’s what her last cookbook was about. Removing potentially troublesome things from your diet then slowly bringing them back one by one to try and figure out which things are actually causing you issues, if any.
She never claimed to have a proper gluten allergy, just said that if she eats too much gluteny food over a long-ish period she starts to feel crappy, so she cuts it out for a little while.
That’s the problem though. To this day, I am convinced that yoghurt breaks me out horribly so I avoid it entirely. Every time I eat a pound in two days (yes, I binge on yoghurt, I frickin’ love it), my skin goes nuts. BUT looking back on that week there’s also always something else like severe stress or I’ve had too much alcohol or all of it combined plus something else. So am I sure that it’s the yoghurt? No. Could it, at this point, be something I imagine because I’m convinced I found the culprit? Yes. Because I am definitely not lactose intolerant. Cheese is fine. There are other foods that don’t agree with me but none of them have an effect like (potentially) yoghurt so I can’t be bothered.
What I’m trying to say is, if Goop is eating tons of gluten-laden foods, she’s most likely also eating quite a bit of other stuff that could – in large quantities – make her feel iffy. She doesn’t know if it’s gluten or if her stomach/system is just sensitive in general. Not when she goes on these crazy diets where simply everything is cut out.
Agree, I wonder if she ate any of it. Hard to be a good baker if you don’t taste what you’re baking. About gluten – when I’m making healthy choices I try to avoid it. That eliminates a lot of the crap I know I really shouldn’t eat like pizza, cookies, processed food.
@littlemissnaughty a pound is a lot of yogurt…normal portion is about 4oz, it could be the amount consumed that’s making u break out
It’s not that much, about three servings. Yes, the small cups are 125g, that would be one serving. So roughly 170g is okay in my book. If it’s all you eat for a meal (with fruit and some oatmeal), it’s not outrageous. But like I said, I can’t be 100% sure if it is actually the yoghurt but I’m convinced it is and I’m not taking chances. Soy it is from now on. That seems to be perfectly fine. I always hesitate to mention this because like the gluten issue, the “dairy is awful for you” movement is annoying as hell and I refuse to give them ammunition.
@littlemissnaughty ooh how do you like soy?? I want to try it in cereal! I love dairy but recently cut back on a lot and digestive system feels soo much better.
I don’t know why….and It is puzzling to me…but I can’t stand Jessica Seinfeld! So, yes, I can see Jessica and Goop being BFF’s…they both think their sh&t don’t stink…I feel like, if they were in high school, they would be the mean girls…and they are probably, both, lovely people….just the vibe I get!
Jessica Seinfeld was a complete and total “NOBODY” until she met Jerry Seinfeld. She is not a celebrity in her own right; she is just married to one.
Maybe Gwynnie and Jessica bonded over being accused of stealing other people’s ideas…
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/jerry-seinfeld-wife-jessica-wins-cookbook-lawsuit-sneaky-chef-missy-chase-lapine-article-1.169741
goop hangs with her because she looks so much better standing next to her
i hadn’t thought or heard of Jessica Seinfeld in like, a decade, and all of the sudden now that Gwyneth is getting divorced, Jessica Seinfeld is all over the news being buddy buddy with her. It’s weird.
Jessica Seinfeld is a classic wannabe and Goop realizes the type of power Jerry has. I bet they barely know each other.
I don’t get the whole Jessica Seinfeld thing. She is trying so hard to sell how much people LOVE Goop, it’s ridiculous. Why is Jessica not speaking for herself? Telling outlets that she loves Goop because she is fun to be with or a good listener…whatever. Instead Jessica is generalzing that Goop is deeply loved. By whom? If you’re going to defend a friend, do it the right way and don’t just throw empty phrases around.
AND: “…she’s deeply loved. Way more than most people I know.” What? So there is a lot of dislike amongst other people in her life? Are those the same people who love Goop?
Brilliant use of passive voice. *eyeroll*
What, are you saying you don’t consciously measure the amount of love you perceive to be felt by everyone in your social circle for everyone else and then chart it out? No wonder you didn’t bag a bazillionaire a month after promising to love, honor, and cherish a poorer dude.
…and Jerry is just as big a d*bag for marrying someone who would do that to another human being.
Hahaha
Her first cookbook had plenty of gluteny, sugary treats. And that came after her macrobiotic phase.
Her second cookbook wasn’t nearly as restricted as people made out. It was probably the most lax elimination diet I’ve seen, really not that bad. And not meant to be a long-term thing anyway, which she made perfectly clear.
She has some issues with food that seem to relate to her fathers death, but she’s really not that bad. She does her stupid detoxes but most of the time she seems to eat pretty normally (for an actress). People have been doing the ‘OMG Gwyneth was seen eating a burger, the apocalypse is coming’ thing for almost 15 years now, maybe it’s time to accept she’s really not quite as nuts as people want her to be.
+1. The voice of reason.
I love that photo of GP, with the bottle of tequila. Or Smart Water as it’s called elsewhere.
There’s a weird effect from CBitchy you know….I start liking certain people more. Goop is an example….I realise I am not mentally flinching any more when she pops up here.
Good work, CB, spread the love!
It’s coconut oil and she’s swishing or whatever you call it…no, “pulling”. It removes stains from your teeth but you’ve literally got to roll it around in your mouth for 20 minutes. Gross.
Nah…..on second thoughts it’s probably poteen, from a still on Skellig Micheal, curated by the resident puffins.
@Chris2 – hahahaaaaa….haaaa!!!
Pulling has been disproven numerous times. It does not work. The only cleaning it does is the ‘manual’ action of the oil going through your teeth. Something you could achieve with a TOOTHBRUSH in exactly 1/20th the amount of time. Google for the studies if you so choose.
She just might be baking something for president!
LOL. JLaw is not a “natural” beauty. Pretty, but no beauty.
+1
++1 I don’t get it. To me she is average-pretty. In fact, one of my co-worker’s face is so, so similar to hers! She’s a pretty girl too but not one that people fall all over for or anything.
Goop = JLaw
So, Goop took things overboard with food and cut everything out from her meals, while JLaw brags about eating bear and pizza and junk food. One represents one extreme – the uptight one, while the other represents the other extreme – the free, relaxed, chaotic one. Goop never smiles for real on a red carpet, JLaw smiles excessively, to the point of becoming a clown.
How are they not the same? At some point in their lives they will switch places, judging by the latest stories, that point is approaching and I think things will be more fun for Goop.
Goop = JLaw forever
i don’t think so. They’re two persons very different even if had have a reletionship with the same guy.
If only she would chance upon an interesting personality….
Agree. She’s about as exciting as a mayo on white bread sandwich.
Isn’t it gluten that keeps the hair together in the first place – lack of it would explain the scarecrow hair when it isn’t yet Halloween; also it appears that Jessica Seinfeld’s stylist is more frenemy than bff and a die hard fan of Billy Idol.
Gluten intolerance can actually cause you to lose hair. It’s keratin, a type of protein, that hair is made of.
Yeah, people with celiac or gluten intolerance can suffer quite horribly if their condition goes undiagnosed/untreated. That may not be the norm, of course, but it does happen, and for people who cannot digest gluten, eating it anyway certainly is not going to help their hair in the least.
I do not purchase or read celebrity cookbooks, unless I know they really do cook themselves (like Gordon Ramsay, for example, who is a real chef). Otherwise, the celebrity cookbook is just something they slapped their name on. It seems like a cheap trick. I seriously doubt Gwyneth Paltrow has ever cooked anything in her life, or even knows how to boil an egg. Her cookbooks and recipes are a joke. Since they were created by someone else, does she reveal her sources and give them the credit?
Martha Stewart is famous for rolling out cookbooks with untested recipes. So you could say she even beats Goop as the reigning Queen of Bad Cookbooks…
http://www.nytimes.com/1986/01/18/style/de-gustibus-making-recipes-easy-to-read.html
jessica seifeld, wow. just wow.
maybe goop is the most loved person compared to those she knows.
but isn’t that like being an F student and saying your best friend is a genius because they are a D student?
I never understood how anyone found her “naturally beautiful”. I never saw it. She can eat as much wood & leaves as she likes but she’ll still just be average in the face
I had a blood test a few years ago that showed a very high positive for Celiac Disease. I pretty much bought a library on the subject and went totally gluten free. I was gluten free for about eight months. My gastroenterologist wanted to confirm my diagnosis so he did a colonoscopy. Turned out everything was normal. Celiac Disease is real and for those with it, restricting gluten is extremely important. It should never be considered a fad diet or hijacked by people like Paltrow and her holier than Thou attitude. Now excuse me….I have some cookies to eat.
If you gave up gluten for 8 months prior to the testing, your body could have already healed. That’s why they tell you not to give up gluten before you have all the testing done. Also, I hope they gave you an endoscopy, not a colonoscopy, or they tested the wrong body part! If your blood work comes back positive, it’s 95% accurate.
Just over a year ago I went gluten free not because of allergy but for a weight issue. I also avoided added sugars/dessertswith the exception of occasional gluten free cookies or ice cream. I have lost 20 pounds doing just that no exercise and not even low carb per set. I eat lots of gluten free organic pasta and waffles. My next goal is to go paleo most of the time. I was 170 and now am 150. Gluten definetley cause s weight gain and makes weight loss difficult. You can still have the occasional gluten meal and it won’t affect the loss.