Rosamund Pike: ‘I do think separation is key to a relationship’

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I’m still trying to make Rosamund Pike happen in a bigger way. I’m going to write about her until everyone agrees with me!!! As I said on Monday, I think Rosamund deserves some awards-season attention for Gone Girl. She was fantastic. My only complaint was that she needed more screen time – it’s Amy’s story, not Nick’s story. I kind of wish the press around the film’s success was “wow, Rosamund Pike is a fantastic actress” and not “Ben Affleck isn’t so bad after all.”

Part of the problem with the disparity in media coverage might be that Affleck has always been tabloid friendly – he’s always been good for a headline, a scandal, a controversy of some kind. Rosamund is not. Rosamund seems well-adjusted, she’s rarely in the UK tabloids (which is a remarkable feat) and she seems to have a quiet family life with her partner Robie Uniacke. They’ve been together for years. She’s 35 and he’s 53. He’s an ex-heroin addict and they’re expecting their second child together. That’s as scandalous as it gets with Rosamund. In a new interview, Rosamund talked about expectations in relationships and how she doesn’t expect her partner to complete her:

Even though she is not married herself, Miss Pike has revealed forthright views on matrimony during interviews about the movie. The actress, who is expecting her second child with partner Robie Uniacke, said we demand too much of our spouses nowadays, telling Spectrum magazine: ‘People have ridiculous expectations of a mate. In my grandmother’s day, you wouldn’t expect your husband to fulfill the same need in you as your sister, or girlfriends, or colleagues at work. You’d have different needs met by different people.’

‘Now we want all our needs met by one person, and I don’t believe that’s possible. Or rather, it is, but I don’t think it’s universally achievable. I do think separation is key to a relationship. I go out with my partner and we are put next to each other – there’s a feeling of, ‘What, you don’t think we can’t operate without each other?’ I don’t need him as a crutch. Of course, he’s the person I want to go home with but he’s not necessarily the person I want to sit next to. I’d rather meet someone new, and he would too.’

[From The Daily Mail]

Prepare yourselves, because I’m about to talk about how much I love my alone-time. Seriously, I understand what Rosamund is saying because I’m the same way. I don’t understand those couples who need to be together all the time. Nothing drives me up the wall like someone who is constantly underfoot or someone who can’t be alone or can’t amuse themselves apart from me (or their partner or whatever). Read a book! Talk to someone new! Or, you know, just be alone because being by yourself, alone with your thoughts, is important too. And I agree with her on the whole idea of not needing or wanting one person to be all things – how boring is that?

PS… Here’s something else I like: we don’t have any photos of Rosamund and Robie together. I mean, they’ve been photographed together before, but they’re not the couple that holds hands on the red carpet every time she has something to promote. She just goes off and does her thing and he waits for her at home.

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Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

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47 Responses to “Rosamund Pike: ‘I do think separation is key to a relationship’”

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  1. Abbott says:

    I love Rosamund Pike. I love Amazing Amy. I love the 5 characters she plays in that movie. I love how her voice makes me feel like I’m being swaddled like Baby Jesus in a manger on Christmas morning. Rosamund, will you accept the other half of my BFF necklace?

    • FLORC says:

      She does have a great voice.
      And I agree with her. I love my husband, but we both need our own time. Couples that never want to be apart imo are less about love and more about infatuation. Love builds from more than just time together.

      • maddelina says:

        I think it’s referred to as co-dependence.

      • JenniferJustice says:

        Less about love and more about insecurity I’d say. Sorry, but if I don’t get my alone time, I feel like spiders are crawling up my arms. Get off me! (I don’t say it. I just think it.)

  2. Virgilia Coriolanus says:

    God I love her.

    And I get what she’s saying. It’s a tricky balance. I think that as a couple, you should want to be together, and not alone–that’s the whole point of being in a relationship. But you shouldn’t ever be so wrapped up into someone that you can’t function. But every relationship is different.

  3. ds says:

    I agree with her. My boyfriend and I used to work from the same studio; and at one we realized that we’ve become t a punching bag for one another; a way to get all the tension out so we’d argue over the most insignificant things. Once we decided to separate in work space our relationship got back to the fun phase; we’d seize any possibility to hang and go out… Not to mention that we really like when the other person goes on a work trip – sometimes it’s nice to have space for yourself or social experience for that matter -it enables you to find new stories to share with your partner. As long as you’re growing together and can influence each other the relationship will work and to have that I need to be with myself from time to time.

  4. Someonestolemyname says:

    Love her. So classy , level headed and gorgeous.

  5. Claudia says:

    I love her. Please keep posting about her.

    I read lots of older interviews with her, she’s a smart cookie and very unique. Not the standard Hollywood acctress at all.

    • Brin says:

      Totally agree, she is very much her own person and I’m so glad she got the role of Amy.
      Rosamund is amazing!!

    • mimi says:

      Yes, please continue to post articles about Rosamund. She is mesmerizing as an actress and a thoughtful, intelligent woman who offers interesting personal opinions without being preachy or full of herself. Refreshing!

  6. MrsBPitt says:

    OMG…I love my alone time, too!!! Just to sit on my computer, without distraction, or watch I show that I’ve recorded, read a few pages of a book or magazine…I love my family and friends, but my “me” time is precious!

    And I do think that the only reason Ben is getting more press is because he was already an established “star”….not everyone knows Rosamund…I’m sure thats about to change!

    I saw Gone Girl over the weekend. I liked it, but, I wasn’t blown away by it. I think because I really liked the book, love David Fincher, and was intrigued by the casting choices, that I had higher expectations. I did think it would be a difficult book to make into a movie, with all the back and forth, and I thought Fincher did a good job…still, I felt like if you hadn’t read the book, you may have been a little confused at some parts.

  7. Helen says:

    Love her! Love you too Kaiser, for taking the words right out of my mouth. I want to have threesomes with you and Rosamund. Tom Hardy can watch. *wink*

  8. Miss M says:

    I didn’t read the book and I really liked the movie. She is a great actress.

  9. Jenns says:

    I totally agree with her. I will never understand couples who need to do everything together.

  10. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    She seems very realistic. I agree with her that your mate can’t complete you. You need to be complete as individuals and come together to enhance one another. I love spending time with my husband, and love my alone time. We are lucky because we have similar together/alone time needs. I think problems arise when two people don’t “match” on that level and one feels abandoned or the other feels suffocated.

    • Luca26 says:

      I liked it too especially the performances (Pike & Coon) but I found it very predictable which isn’t the point of a thriller especially if you haven’t read the book or any spoilers.

  11. Tig says:

    Saw Gone Girl last night- just an amazing movie, and she is so good as Amy. I so
    agree that couples don’t need to be in each other’s back pockets all the time.

  12. pwal says:

    I agree with Kaiser that Rosamund’s well deserved buzz was muted by Affleck’s sufficient performance. Rarely do I agree with Lainey but Pike’s depiction of Amy should be lauded as loudly as Ledger’s turn as the Joker or Pacino’s Michael Corleone (sp). Maybe people are scared because Amy’s motivations spoke to a lot of women, including me. I didn’t want to fistbump anyone, but I could feel my eyes sparkling, watching everything Amy did and said.

    • Jessica says:

      What exactly were Amy’s motivations? It couldn’t just be that Nick cheated, because her process started long before that – picking him up and making him think she was the “cool girl”. And then there’s that whole faking a rape to send a man to jail thing before she met Nick. What was the motivation for that? What were her motivations for wanting to manipulate and control people in the ways she manipulated and controlled Nick and the previous guy? Maybe her character motivations were well defined in the book, but in the movie her actions just seemed angry/aggressive for no reason – or more like she was psycho for no reason, just wanting to watch the world burn, like the Joker.

      It’s a serious question, I’d really like to know what her motivations were.

      • pwal says:

        Forgive me if this is spoilerish… and my opinion is based on seeing the movie, not reading the book.

        JMO, I think that her motivations went back to Amazing Amy and how she was placed in the position of promoting the character despite always feeling that AA was her parents shading her for perceived failures. IMO, she probably wanted her parents to come out and say whatever they had to say about her and their relationship. As for the dude she set up for rape, I think the ‘whole backing off (but having sex with her just one more time) because I’m supposedly a nice guy’ thing’ mirrored how her parents carried on with her – keeping up appearances while keeping Amy, seemingly, in the dark.

        Mind you, in real life, things would’ve been a lot cleaner if Amy just walked away instead of waiting for her parents, the ex-boyfriend or Nick to finally put everything on the table and be honest about how they were really feeling.

      • lucy2 says:

        The only weakness I saw from the book to the movie was that in the film, Amy only seemed motivated by revenge on men who failed her – the guy who pulled back from the relationship and she framed for rape, and then Nick cheating on her.
        In the book, it’s a lot more clear that she was the psycho one all along, especially with the girl she claimed was stalking her in high school. I wish they’d included that character in the film, but I get they have to cut stuff out.

  13. Beth says:

    It’s true. My husband used to deploy every six months and now he’s been at a non-deployable post for two years and I’m sort of ready for him to deploy again. I mean, not to Afghanistan again, that sucked, but just a good solid six months on an aircraft carrier. Oh, God. I’m a monster, aren’t I?

  14. Tiffany27 says:

    That’s part of the many reasons I just can’t fathom marriage. I don’t think there’s a person I want to see everyday. It just seems…….stifling?

    • Virgilia Coriolanus says:

      You could always be like Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton–live in separate houses/apartments.

  15. whatsmyname? says:

    I can’t function if I don’t have enough me time, I love it and need it.

    • mystified says:

      Agree. My husband knows that I will never leave him for another man, but I might sneak out on him in order to spend more time with my Kindle.

  16. Kirstn says:

    Coming from a psychology standpoint, she is right. When couples immerse themselves in each other’s daily lives it is called fusion. It is a marker of an unhealthy relationship. Everyone needs their alone time as well as time spent doing things and with people they love outside of their relationship. Love Rosamund!

  17. L says:

    When my Dad retired, my mom made it a point to make sure he had some kind of hobby to occupy his time (and she made sure to leave the house for her own stuff to). Apparently many older couples they know have split up once the main working spouse retires and then all of sudden is always underfoot with the other one.

    It’s a balance. I like spending time with my spouse, but I like my time with girlfriends where there is no talk of partners/babies allowed. Just lots of wine and good times.

  18. Gina says:

    Generally speaking, when you’re first together you want to be together all the time….honeymoon phase (married or not). After time when you know each other’s habits, good and bad, a little time apart is good. I know couples who sleep in separate rooms because one snores or the other does this or that. While that wouldn’t work for me since I’m a snuggler, those friends swear it makes their relationship better. Some people are more independent and don’t require someone at their side at all times to ensure eternal bliss. Absence makes the heart grow fonder or…….out of sight, out of mind. Whatever works for you!

  19. Micki says:

    I like her take on a relationship in general.
    I think too in recent years many women I know begin to relay too much on the partner. My least favourite neighbour goes only to work on her own. Her partner has to accompany her anywhere else. I don’t like him either but I really do pity him. I haven’t seen him in a good mood for months.
    But there are people who trive on such togetherness and are trully proud to be around one another at work AND at home. To each its own.

  20. OriginalTessa says:

    My earlier relationships in my teens and twenties were very codependent. Eventually I got tired of the way they breathed. I’m in a relationship now where we both have very distinct lives of our own. We have to pencil each other in and it’s wonderful! When we see each other it’s because both of us really want to, because there is definitely something else we could be doing. We’re completely independent alone, but we’re together because we want to be.

    • I Choose Me says:

      Eventually I got tired of the way they breathed.

      This! Early on in our marriage my husband was borderline smothering. I’d be like, go draw or play a video game. Use your talents. Do something not involving me. Stop relying on my opinion for everything.

      Now we don’t even sleep in the same bed unless we want to. He’s so much more secure in himself as a person and it has worked wonders for our relationship. There was a six month separation in there too.

  21. tracking says:

    Smart woman. Couples who are so co-dependent they can’t seem to function without one another are quite annoying. Wait, aren’t you individuals? I mean it’s lovely to enjoy each other’s company, but never can do anything alone, ever? Does it always have to be couples activities? Bleh.

  22. Jaded says:

    She’s so right…I’ve had two long-term live-together relationships and when both ended (I ended them, they were both adulterous tw*ts) I revelled in living on my own again. Since then (1997) I’ve dated but when the topic got around to “hey, we should move in together” which means “hey, I want someone to cook my meals and do my laundry” I ran like a scared chicken.

  23. Lola says:

    I have to agree with her. Some women (and men) expect to find in a significant other someone that would complete them, when (imho) you have to find someone that can complement you. Those are two different words. Even when you live with someone, you need your alone time and vice versa.

  24. Ginger says:

    I’ve always been very independently minded and love my alone time. My husband is a little more needy so it’s taken some adjustment in our relationship. But he understands that sometimes I just need some quiet, alone time. (Especially when I go to Target and just wander the aisles by myself! LOL :)) And I understand that he needs me to pay more attention to him at times. There’s a give and take in a relationship that’s so important. I think it’s whatever works for you as a couple. In this modern era it’s refreshing that we have the freedom to live together as partners or as a married couple. To each their own. That aside, I LOVED the film adaptation of Gone Girl. It was a difficult book to translate to film and I think they did a great job. Rosamund nailed the Amy character so well. I do hope she get’s more attention after this and I see her in more big budget flicks.

  25. kri says:

    She blew me away in that film. And the separating of NPH from his carotid was quite key to that performance. I hope she gets some awards attention-she deserves it. And she is right about the fact that one person cannot meet all the needs of another. Smart woman.

  26. stacat1 says:

    I want her to “happen” too.
    Agree with her totally on alone time. So so necessary.

    So far what I have seen/heard of her…BIG FAN.

  27. pirategirl says:

    I watched this movie last night, and thought her acting was great. But it was too “Lifetime movie of the Month” for me. Affleck is a terrible actor in my opinion, I don’t get his appeal, and was ready for it to end already. But I prefer Sci fi, horror & comic book movies.

  28. Grant says:

    I love her and I agree with everything she’s saying. I’ve loved her since Die Another Day, one of my favorite Bond movies. She was so great in that crazy (and physical!) role!

  29. Dara says:

    I enjoy her – I’ll even sit down and watch Doom if it shows up on cable, just for her and Karl Urban. She did have a bit of a scandal spotlight when her engagement to the Atonement director imploded but that’s old news now.

    I don’t understand couples that spend every waking moment together or indulge in excessive PDA – it does hint of insecurity and desperation to me. At my last job I sat between two married women, one gushed endlessly during her many phone calls to hubby “No, I love YOU more, honeybunny”, the other was “I’m gonna be late, don’t forget to pick up the kid, gotta go”… guess which one is still happily married and which marriage went up in flames?

  30. Nimbolicious says:

    Love her and found the film to be solid and well-written. For me there were some loose ends that weren’t dealt with to my satisfaction, but it was overall a great ride. And I didn’t mind the flash o’ dong, either. Ben seems like he’d be a nightmare to be married to, but I think he’s hot.

    Rosamund is awesome. Reminds me of the Goop of Old , prior to her unfortunate descent into madness. I hope she gets nominated.

  31. Ange says:

    I agree with her. My husband is in the army so he’s away all the time and I’m one of those who much prefers to go out with my girlfriends than him. I don’t really enjoy the time apart when it’s for several months but a couple of weeks here and there I find is quite invigorating for our relationship. He also quite enjoys that I get all my idle gossip and girly talk out of the way with my friends before I come home and see him. 😉

  32. LAK says:

    That bow dress is unfortunate.

    She’s had 2 major and very public romantic embarrassments so you can see where her views come from

    1. Her university boyfriend, Simon Wood, came out very publicly and is now married to Christopher Bailey, chief designer at Burberry.

    2. Her next serious relationship with director Joe Wright also imploded very publicly after he dumped her for sending out ‘together’ save the date cards for their engagements. He was apparently mortified and maintains she did it without his knowledge.