Many of us have someone, often in their family, who we feel competitive with. This is often fueled by comparisons people make, sometimes well-intentioned and sometimes not. For example my grandmother recently described my cousin as ‘fat’, and commented on how successful her sister had been losing the baby weight. Said cousin was still pregnant at the time.

This is bad enough, but can you imagine being pitted against a pretty, glamorous relative on a global scale? Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, says that the media’s cruelty to her contributed to her eating issues. She doesn’t say that comparisons to Princess Diana made it worse, but that’s what I got from her comments:

‘It’s pretty hard to change people’s perceptions,’ she says. And, back then, it really mattered to her what people thought. She said she’d read headlines such as princess of pork or 82 per cent of men say they’d rather sleep with a goat than Fergie, and she’d take them all to heart. ‘I just believed they were true,’ she says. ‘I was so unhappy I ate all the time, and then I was pilloried for being overweight, and on the cycle went. I didn’t know how to break it.’

Telegraph

Wikipedia notes that Princess Diana was noted for her ‘compassion, style, charisma, and high-profile charity work, as well as her difficult marriage to Prince Charles’. Despite Sarah’s charity work, she is best known for her Weight Watchers endorsements and friendly relationship with her ex-husband. Sarah and Diana were friends and talked about their public image, says Sarah.

“I remember quite clearly Diana saying to me: ‘Well, it’s easier for you. I’m at the top of the pedestal, and I have only one way to go. You are at the bottom, so you can really only go up.”‘

Sydney Morning Herald

Wow, that must have made Fergie feel much better, having the Queen-in-waiting try and cheer her on. Although maybe that kind of stiff upper lip attitude is how they do it in Britain.

Despite being a public figure in Britain, which has the most vicious tabloid newspapers in the world, Fergie says she’d do it all over again, but better.

You have to think of the Royal family as being like a brand, yah? There are CEOs protecting the brand, and I didn’t really fit in. Maybe if I’d had an adviser to lead me through it all I would have weathered it a bit better. I wish I had done it differently. I wish I could do it all over again.’

‘Really?’ I ask her. After all the criticism and ridicule, she’d still go back into the public eye, despite knowing how potentially difficult it all is? ‘Oh, yes,’ she says enthusiastically. ‘I’d still marry Andrew, of course. He is a wonderful man. I’d just deal with it better. I’d ride the storms. I’d see that what is said about me is here one day and gone the next. At the time I thought I had failed. Now I think I was successful in a way, successful at failing.’

Telegraph

That’s one way to turn failure on it’s head, by declaring it a success at failing. Sarah has managed to raise two children who have yet to be photographed in a compromising manner (exiting clubs, yes, but not doing anything notable), raise funds for charity and maintain a good relationship with her ex-husband. She is also a producer on a new film starring Emily Blunt, The Young Victoria.

Sarah Ferguson is shown on 12/6/08 and 11/29/08 signing copies of her children’s book Tea for Ruby. Credit: WENN