Jennifer Aniston has more money than God. She gets richer by the year, especially with her endorsement/profit-sharing deals with Living Proof, Aveeno and SmartWater. She still collects good paychecks for movies like Horrible Bosses 2. Beyond the money stuff, Jennifer has her health, she has a good and loyal hairstylist, she has a closet full of little black dresses and the renovations on her Bel Air mansion are finally done. Everything in her life seems good-to-decent. So why are we still pulling out our hair and being forced to think of her in “poor Aniston” terms? Poor Aniston, can’t get a man. Poor Aniston, when she does get a man, he loves skinny jeans and guyliner. Poor Aniston, Guyliner McEyebrows won’t even marry her, even after he gave her a giant, cloudy quartz. Poor Aniston! Anyway, this week’s Us Weekly is all about poor Aniston and her attempts to set the date with Guyliner Theroux.
Jennifer Aniston, 45, could soon be a blushing bride — or not! Those close to her and her fiancé Justin Theroux, 43, are on the proverbial edge of their seats waiting for their wedding invites — because the truth is, those save the dates could come at any time. The couple are planning a surprise wedding, a la another infamous couple!
Jennifer and Justin got engaged over two years ago, but many are starting to wonder if have they have any intention at all of walking down the aisle and sealing the deal as man and wife. While the couple continues to remain mum on their plans, friends close the couple are fairly sure they’re looking to throw an impromptu ceremony, according to Us Weekly. Sources close to Jen say that her friends are “in the dark” about the big day, but are planning to be ready at a moment’s notice. Apparently. her guests will “want to be prepared” as Jen and Justin could very likely throw a surprise wedding for their closest friends and family at a moment’s notice.
It would be a real twist of fate if Jennifer and Justin opt for surprise affair, since Jen’s famous ex, Brad Pitt, 50, just married Angelina Jolie, 39, back in August in a super secret ceremony. At the time, as HollywoodLife.com EXCLUSIVELY reported, Jen was “upset” after the Brangelina wedding overshadowed her surprise Friends reunion on Jimmy Kimmel Live — but perhaps seeing how well their nuptials turn out for them has warmed her up to the idea.
How many times have we heard variations of this “maybe they’ll just go somewhere and elope” story in the past two years? Personally, I think Jennifer just wants to get married and she doesn’t care how it happens. She would marry him on a beach in Cabo. She would marry him in the living room of the Bel Air mansion. She would go to New York (where he basically lives most of the time now) and marry him at City Hall. Justin is the one gumming up the works. Dude, you gave her the quartz!! Just marry her, for goodness sake. Poor Aniston.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
I can’t wait to see what Theroux’s eyebrows do when he’s surprised.
lol
He loooooves the one eye brow up look. He a the Vivienne Leigh man version.
omg, you are SO right! that is totally who he looks like when he does that! haha
@aussie girl. Frankly Jen, I don’t give a damn.
He’s a very good actor, much better than Jen is as an actress.
All of his scenes in The Leftovers are spellbinding, he really pulls you in and he has a certain charisma on camera.
IMO Jen is not a very good actress, even on Friends, her acting was just ok, the writers were great ,but I found her sort of “stilted” compared to the other actors on the show.
lol
He does look like Scarlett O’Hara’ s brother
I think only one is permitted to ’emote’.
Maybe he just botox’s one side of his forehead … ?
He looks like he’s done or does heavy drugs.
He looks crazy.
If they get married in Cabo, he can go *real* fancy and wear those jorts on the beach. With a studded belt. Because it’s a wedding…..
But he’ll have to wear his bike boots because he thinks no one wants to see exposed feet. I guess he could wear socks and sandals.
Ambush wedding, more like…even Justin will be surprised.
Yeah…ambush or kidnapping..lol.
YES, that’s exactly what I was thinking, ambush wedding! Justin is casually walking down the street in motorcycle jacket and boots, skinny jeans, and guyliner, and Jennifer will swoop down on him and scoop him into a burlap sack that will later be used as a table runner at the reception.
Hahaha Yup..
Sounds like an ambush. LOL
I don’t think Jennifer really wants to get married, just wanted to be engaged. Although she created it, I think she got annoyed with “poor, pathetic Jennifer” image. It’s obvious that this was a stunt engagement considering they got engaged when everybody thought Brad and Angelina were getting married that weekend and then called People Mag when Justin barely proposed.
I remember that–her dad didn’t even know. I think InStyle or Us Mag. called him, and he had no clue.
I have a feeling that the ‘Batch will marry Sophie whoever before Jennifer and Justin exchange gold name rings…..
Clearly she had no interest. The world is packed with men who would marry her in an instant and an instant is really all it takes to wed in CA.
That may be all it takes to marry, but that doesn’t mean she’ll take advantage of it.
I think she wants to marry. I think she enjoys the cat and mouse game more. Aniston strikes me as someone who loves what attention she gets. Her acting is bad and she doesn’t need that money. She’ll never produce Goree Girls. It’s all just to get us to talk about her.
She gets married fine. She doesn’t? Fine too. She must have a film to promote to get all this marriage/baby talk back out there.
@FLORC
She has Horrible Bosses II coming out–but as I understand it, she only has three scenes….and apart from ‘She’s Funny That Way’ i.e. ‘Squirrels To Nuts’ that came out sometime this year (I think), she doesn’t have anything on the horizon….no future directing/producing/acting projects that have been announced. That’s interesting. Just looked at Justin’s IMDb, and he doesn’t have any announced acting projects (although I’m assuming he’s doing the Leftovers, since HBO renewed for a second season), for writing/directing Zoolander 2 is still ‘announced’, he exec. produced Space Jam 2 for 2016, and that’s it.
Jennifer should throw in a couple million (or ten) into Zoolander 2…..I think that in the interests of being together, that would be great if they could/would work together, and write/produce/direct together. I mean lots of people keep saying that she’s a brilliant comedian, and Justin’s this amazeballs writer–so it would be interesting if they ever teamed up.
I think they would be a lot more interesting if it didn’t look like a complete showmance–them only coming together when there’s a rc somewhere, and then going back to opposite ends of the country.
@Virgilia Coriolanus, who wrote: “… and apart from ‘She’s Funny That Way’ i.e. ‘Squirrels To Nuts’ that came out sometime this year (I think), she doesn’t have anything on the horizon….no future directing/producing/acting projects that have been announced.”
Sure she does … she has that ‘week’s release’ for “Cake” (sometime between now and December 31st) the film’s producers managed for her when they started a distribution company so the film could be released for Oscar consideration.
I was passing the movie theatre this week and they had one of those giant building size banners for Horrible Bosses2. She wasn’t even on it.
@Original G.
From what I understand (from the trailer and from a CB post from earlier this year) her role is a cameo. And in the trailer, it looks like she’s been biding her time, watching them, and when they slipped up she blackmailed them into having a four way with her–which I think her character is really disgusting, and it would’ve been so much better if she actually wanted revenge, not just to have sex with Dale.
So that might be her only scene…..
VC
Are you being sarcastic with the Justin “amazeballs writer”. I can only agree if it’s sarcasm. His Iron Man contribution was bad. The only thing that was good from him was Tropic Thunder. And that’s questionable being all enough from him.
Stiller and a few others came out saying it was a work in progress for over a decade. They would swap emails of jokes/funny moments in movies and it came together over time from over 20 different people contributing a significant amount.
And agree with HB2 analysis. If only her character wasn’t so poorly constructed for a movie about revenge (of sorts).
And didn’t they work together on Wanderlust? If that is the product of working together they should stop.
@VG, I was just surprised because HB2 has been touted as one of HER successful films coming up. But it’s not. It’s another film where she plays a reliable secondary role to male top bananas.
And sorry, but Zoolander2 is well beyond it’s best before date. If Stiller wanted to get it made, he wouldn’t need a contribution from Jen to make it happen.
@FLORC
Yes, that was sarcasm. I’m just saying that she has more money than God. She can take risks. I’ve been hearing from Justin’s fans how smart he is, how he’s such a great writer (I wrote the freaking book on how crappy Ironman 2 is–my five year old nephew LOVES it)–and if he was all of that, and if he and Jennifer were so in LURVE, it would be nice if they teamed up and did something together. Justin writing; Jennifer acting and producing–since they’re both so ‘talented’.
And yes–I am sick of an odd poster here and there popping up to say that Justin is so talented and in demand because he ‘wrote’ Tropic Thunder. Please–he’s one of SIX cowriters. Ironman II was shit.
And I HATE her character, especially in the second one. The first one, you could say she had an actual role as an evil boss. The second one–all she is is a toy. It’s very cheap. If I was her, I would’ve refused to do it. At the very least she could’ve said that Dale had to sleep with her, instead of all three of them. Just gross. And for no reason, other than shock value. Guess they want a couple of extra horny 18 year olds to go see the movie, thinking there might be some boobs showing (we’ll see if that’s another rumor, like We’re The Millers’.
So I am interested in what her career’s going to be in 2015. Her movies didn’t go well this year. She doesn’t have anything on the pipeline.
@Orig. G
There was a CB post last year on the movie–a script got leaked. She’s only in three scenes.
Agreed Louise177. It was only to one-up the JPs. Aniston is obsessed with trying to one-up them all the time.
I remember clearly, they got engaged, like a week or two after Brad and Angelina did, and the weekend she *thought* Brange were getting married (Oscar weekend of 2013) she had her PR flack hijack the Oscar coverage People edition to one-up them, except all it did was get her scoffing and eye rolling when it didn’t happen and they had to do a retraction cover.
There was another time after that where she and her PR flack thought Brange was definitely tying the knot, and she and Theroux went on this weird Euro vacation, that included a stop by the vatican, ala Bieber. Hahaha. I guess to get their nuptials blessed…not. I recall the leaked media effery then was that they would get married abroad while in Europe — except Brange pulled the rug out then as well (not intentionally).
She’s just so weird and stalkerish.
Oh please, pretty please, let this be true. let them elope and disappear forever. One can only hope. Let’s see. . . no one is interested in the pregnancy rumors, the big wedding, so now it’s an elopment. Even her “Oscar” bid doesn’t seem to be generating much heat.
if she were to get married what else would we be able to talk about – seriously think about it = mrs jennifer theroux ? nooo it cannot happen. she has to be poor jenniferforever !!! i insist.
if she really wanted to she wd have been married by now.why talk abt elopement why not just go ahead and get married – geez even this has to be a long drawn story – honestly how many years do we have to put up with this this time –
Maybe, just maybe instead of focussing on getting Justin to marry her, she should spend some money and time on therapy, in order to explore why she is still “upset,” /obsessing about a man , and a marriage that ended almost ten years ago.
I’m not sure she’s really upset over it anymore, but it’s a convenient/fallback PR ploy for her, still: Poor Jen.
i wish she would stop with that PR strategy. is it really helping her? i don’t know. it just seems… pathetic. you’re a grown woman with a $hitload of money and a pretty good life. get your $hit together and start projecting a different image.
She’s not really upset – frankly, don’t think Jen was ever all that much into Brad the man. What she wanted – and misses – is the notoriety of being Mrs. Pitt. The narrative of “poor Jen” is what she and her PR team use to keep her front and center in the public eye. The wedding drew attention away from her, which is what upset her ,assuming the source is accurate.
How does one have a surprise wedding which is a surprise to the groom? The two principles must have a license first, and the license is only good for a finite length of time. This doesn’t make sense to me.
– frankly, don’t think Jen was ever all that much into Brad the man. What she wanted – and misses – is the notoriety of being Mrs. Pitt. The narrative of “poor Jen” is what she and her PR team use to keep her front and center in the public eye. The wedding drew attention away from her, which is what upset her, assuming the source is accurate.
Ding, ding ding. This has always, always been my takeaway.
Yes I believe that too.
True epiphany. I never believed that she loved Brad it was all to break in to Hollywood.
THIS! Also I think some of her fans can do with the therapy too, since they can’t get over that she was once married to Brad and can’t move past the fact that they are no longer married.
It seems like she can’t get past it either. How’s she gonna top Brad? He’s a major player and I don’t see any other top Hollywood men running after her. And if she and Marty Eyebrows actually do have a wedding, it won’t be a surprise…it’ll be a shock.
Maybe Jennifer/Justin should have a double wedding with Benedict/Sophie?
It’s not a surprise Jen if you tell US all about it.
Psst. It’s a ‘surprise’ in the same way that the Klooney’s wedding was ‘private’.
Klooney’s marriage was too private for my tastes. I didn’t get enough hair flips or doorway tree stumps.
I was disappointed I didn’t get to keep the ceramic cockatoo centerpiece.
but the mashed potatoes were deee-vine.
He can marry her on the beach;
In a plane…
On a train…
He could marry her in a tree;
In a lake…
Over a steak…
Sorry I couldnt help but bust out some Dr Suess …
JEM very appropriate somehow!
There once was a woman named Jen
Who’d been engaged since I don’t know when
But her man was a dork
Who lived in New York
He spent eggs without keeping the hen.
LOL, you two, pretty good.
bravo! haha
I worked for a woman who did an ambush wedding. She had a catering company, her handsome younger boyfriend worked for her. She told him to wear a tux for a certain catering event – when he showed up, he was at his wedding. He thru with it, but it was weird. Turned out as expected.
that’s awkward.
Wonder what number wedding the caterer is on now? 4? 5?
But I crave details! How long did the marriage last? Did she do it as a stunt to keep a wavering guy? Just how messy did it get?
The site’s called Celebitchy.
And a lot of the dislike/annoyance with her isn’t because she married Brad. It’s because the impression is she is still using the end of that marriage to perpetuate the ‘poor Jen’ myth.
Her PR game gets a lot a flack, because while they do get a her a lot of attention, it’s often heavy handed and not done ‘well’.
Why can’t she just go away for good? She really is an attention whore.
No it’s because the people who don’t like her haven’t got over her being married to Pitt. She did…….long ago. Plus these rags knows she sells so they make this crap up. It’s so obvious!! I don’t see any poor Jen other than what the writer of this Kaiser wrote. it’s obvious she doesn’t like JA so posters follow suit.
Maddelina, I don’t know about you but I don’t need anyone to tell me how to think about Aniston. I’ve never liked her. I’ve always thought of her as a shallow airhead and she’s done nothing to alleviate that impression.
Then why is he constantly brought up by people who dislike her? Where are the comments from her fans mentioning BP? They’ve both moved on long ago and appear happier imo. I dont understand following someone you find boring and shallow.
Lol maddelina then why are you constantly on Angelina and Brad stories and attacking them? Practice what you preach. And her being married to Brad Pitt has absolutely NOTHNG to do with her being disliked. Its her BEHAVIOR and the cruel attacks on Angelina and her kids, and her coattailing the JPs are the reason for the dislike.
@maddelina…
So I guess you won’t be posting anymore on an Angie or Brad thread.
OK.. sounds good to me
Yes, a shallow airhead who has looked and acted the same for 20 years now.
I never thought about Brad Pitt one way or another until he got with Angelina. I really loved that he left an unhappy marriage to “America’s (supposed) sweetheart” and went for someone more interesting and complex. He certainly made the right move.
They’ll never get married. They only got engaged because Angelina and Brad did. But they never had any intention of going through with the wedding.
He did the right thing for him and for her. we all know people who are not happy in their marriage or long relationships but stay because of whatever reasons but are truly unhappy with their lives. people forget that we only have this one life. maybe she was more hurt that he found someone else so quick, who wouldnt but in the end it was probably the best for both. it was not a good timing maybe but what should he have done? let the “perfect” woman go away? The heart wants what it wants. we all know this feeling when you want someone so bad. he lives now the life he dreamed of and how could anybody wish someone the opposite? Life, unfortunately is not a perfect fairytale where nobody gets ever hurt. i got hurt do in my life, so what, life goes on. there are people out there who got a much worse fate than beeing superrich and famous and divorced.
People do not care that she was married to him!!! People are long over it. Her fans on the other hand spend their days photo shopping her head onto Angelina’s head in pics. True story.
Her pr team did a very good job of milking the scorned woman picture.
@Maddelina, who wrote: “No it’s because the people who don’t like her haven’t got over her being married to Pitt. She did…….long ago. Plus these rags knows she sells so they make this crap up. It’s so obvious!! I don’t see any poor Jen other than what the writer of this Kaiser wrote. it’s obvious she doesn’t like JA so posters follow suit.”
What’s this? When all else fails, project? Oh you poor thing.
Maddelina, I’m sure you’re not a biased JP hater (especially with that screenname) -but the truth off the matter is, not even 3 years ago she was talking about crying through her yoga poses over Brad and saving his voicemail messages, while only a few years before that – she suddenly starts a one sided highly publicized (Vogue, Oprah, GQ and Chelsea Handler) manufactured catfight with Angelina, and even more recently she dragged popdouche singer John Mayer to the Oscar ceremony (Tabloids: ‘Showdown at the Oscars!!’ “Brad and Jen Reunite!! Angelina Fumes! Brad Fumes over John Mayer!!) in which BOTH Brad and Angelina were nominated for Best Actor and Best Actress. Like she had no idea how that would be covered in the press, and just HAD to present ‘Best Key grip in a short animated,’ with someone else standing by to help her, in that same year.
You can tell us she’s over it until she’s blue in the face, but when her fellow Huvane stable mates are still invoking Angelina and kicking her about the head as recently as a few months ago (see Handler and Paltrow in a fake set-up interview to promote her ‘book’ Uganda Be Kidding Me, discussing the distrustful woman with no friends no sisterhood tripe as the audience ooohs and aaahs…because they figure they’re discussing Jolie, as Handler has nastiily done many many times)…no one is going to believe you.
Lol
That was meant to be Lol at Handler and Paltrow considering Paltrow cheated on Brad. I hadn’t heard about that interview, but it doesn’t surprise me.
I think gossip sites and magazines are way off. I don’t think the general public cares much about her getting married or not. Nor do they care about her having children.
I always wonder who exactly buys those magazine covers with Jen baby at last; or wedding coming soon. I don’t buy rags. Especially if they have stories about my favorite celebs. Why give money to rags posting lies. So who is buying those covers and who believes them. I don’t know if either of them want to get married. Maybe she found a guy that is not pressuring her. He never sounds like he wants kids.. but we know with men he can always change his mind down the line and have a child if things don’t work out with them.
I just think a lot of people are over the wait and I think even some of her fans are too. Although now I see many of them saying how marriage is not important nor having kids.. I guess that is the new take on the Jennifer spin. It changes to fit her narrative so it could change again when she starts to promote her upcoming projects. So stay tuned.
LOL, you have noticed also how the narrative changes ,when it’s Jennifer we are talking about.
Yes I have.. but that is true with a lot of celebrities that are featured here.
My point was her fans have changed their stance on the marriage based in whatever she says at any given time. Yet people are all that over the top about her getting married or having children. It has been over 16+ years of these stories. Time to move on
Given that her people no doubt set up this cover and story, hopefully he can shut his pie hole about people being so interested in their engagement. For anyone who claims that it is the media that is keeping the poor-Jen thing going, I present Exhibit A. I’ve never minded her much, but this just makes her look pathetic as all get-out for attention.
This was an interesting post. I thought it was going to be a serious gripe commentary on how we need to move on. It started off with “So why are we still pulling out our hair and being forced to think of her in poor Aniston terms?” and ended with “Poor Anniston.” I didn’t see that coming.
Let’s call this relationship. what it is a ” showromance “. Other than Jennifer’s fans no one really believe this is a real relationship. They are both actors and when they are together at some social event ,they do a good job of being in love, then Justin goes back to New York and Jennifer goes back to her home. How hard is that?
Guy-liner Theroux’s eyebrow game is fierce!
seriously. that is some hardcore waxing (threading?).
At this stage how much of a surprise could it possibly be?
Because everyone is on the edge of their seat, being invited over to Jennifer’s probably seems about as much fun as a game of Russian Roulette.
its not that – whenever there is any major event she has to trot out her ‘fiance; – first at tiff and now to generate oscar buzz etc – i used to feel sorry for her but frankly she is so desperately clinging to the remnants of her ‘career’ – she has the money surely she cd have done more.neither is she respected as an actress i think nor is she a good actress at all.
I suppose it’s just a coincidence that Brad & Ange announced their wedding on the same day as Jenn’s TIFF movie premier as well as the much anticipated Friends reunion on Kimmel.
Jennifer is a convenient target for people’s scorn, but they all seem rather devious.
“Much anticipated Friend’s reunion”. I do not think it was anticipated at all!
Brad and Angelina can announce their wedding any day they want! A decade later, they have better things to worry about.
It was not her Tiff premier anyway. It was the day after the premier for her VOD Life of Crime. Which I doubt they even knew about considering that movie had zero buzz & flopped.
@Tippy
They announced the day before, and I could see that being a PR move if Jennifer wasn’t promoting a film that was in theaters for a week, after going straight to VOD, and not getting picked up by a distributor.
@tippy, Brad and Angelina had to say something about the wedding since Brad was promoting Fury in Englnad and had a wedding ring on, and proudly displayed it and there had to be some reason for it. Then from there to his filming in New York. That is the reason for the timing of the annnouncement.
@jen2
Yeah–I think Brad started promoting Fury on the following Monday, which is when the pics of his wedding ring came out.
And it is a huge deal that they got married. I was looking at a few different tabloid sites, and all of them had titles about Angelina ‘gushing’ about her marriage……when all she said was ONE sentence from her VF interview that’s been released (It feels different.)
Their was a Friends Reunion?
Tippy, um, no one even KNEW about this so-called ‘reunion’, so how do you expect Angelina to keep track of that? And it was not even a reunion, just a few minute impromptu appearance together. Weddings are done months in advance. It seems more like Aniston arranged it on the same day, because interviews and premiere things are only set about a week in advance. But I guess logic is not something people use on an Aniston story.
Maybe she’s gonna get a surprise bail out from Justin…
“Surprise! We’re getting married…. Now.”
“Uhm, no, we’re not. Suuurprise!”
This woman has been the target of the tabs for twenty years. I highly doubt she gives two shits about what anybody thinks about her life at this point. She doesn’t have to. This site in particular seems to have a lot of Jennifer haters for whatever reason. I suppose that’s why they keep posting stories to get the hits and let ppl release their aggressions. She’s just a person who got lucky in life, more power to her.
No one here hates her – we don’t care enough about her to hate her. Hate takes tremendous effort, and Aniston’s just not worth it. We criticize her for using her “poor Jen” persona to continue to garner media attention and public sympathy long after the divorce was finalized. And Jen gives a lot more than two sh*ts what the media prints about her. She pays a fortune to PR genius Stephen Huvane to keep her name in the tabloids. Her ‘Friends’ co-stars – many of whom are far more talented than she – have faded into obscurity, while she continues to grace tabloid covers month after month, with stories planted by her PR team, all a variation of the “poor Jen’ theme – ‘Is Justin the One?’, ‘A baby for Jen!’, ‘Justin to Jen; – I will never marry you!’, ‘Jen plans a surprise wedding!’. Aniston is fame hungry, always has been, won’t stop, even if by some miracle she gets an Oscar nomination.
yes no one hates her those who are not her fans are just tired of her whole PR for more than 9 years, the mentality of the tipical Jennifer Aniston fan is that when someone writtes anything criticicing Jennifer is because they hate her, they take pleasure in spilling out their hate on others even when is just malicious lies but as son as Jennifer gets some bad comments they act like crybabies and claim her to be the most harmless woman in the world
And the congregation says “Amen”.
Jennifer does care what we think about her. Do you read and look at her interviews, she does care ” two shits what we thinks about her”, so does Justin. Some of us see through the hype and fake pr theses two put out.
If she did not care then she would not employ a snake publicist to respond to every single tabloid story, no matter how small.
She would not have a publicist period to send “sightings” to People mag.
It is not hate to call her out on her pr antics and her inability to talk about anything beyond her hair & how dreamy/empowering (ugh) it was to wear no makeup in Cake.
Well said Bee!
I think it’s funny that you think she’s a target. Her PR people are well known for working with People, and she uses the tabs just like many other other celebs do. It is a mutually agreeable relationship that both sides pursue. And it’s obviously working for her.
It’s simply extraordinary how much mileage she’s getting out of the ‘wedding’.
A lot since there is never going to be a “wedding”, just like there is never going to be a baby. Look how much mileage Jen has gotten out of that?
LAK, I still remember your comment about those PEOPLE wedding countdown covers…..’Methinks it’s much easier to upset a wedding than a double mastectomy. Back to the drawing board’–your words hold up still today, haha.
How can we miss her if she won’t go away?
+1 Lol
Between you, me and the door post, there will never, ever be a wedding between Jennifer and Justin
Fingers crossed that the reason US is covering this is because People Magazine told JustJen to go fcuk themselves with these ‘quarterly’ updates.
Nah, I think her PR flack Huvane has an ‘agreement,’ with People Mag for Jen covers. It’s no surprise. For so long, People were considered the go to birth announcement mag for the JPs, so I’m not surprised after having called them a ‘tabloid,’ Aniston now wants to appear on all their special editions – she flocks to everything and everyone ‘JP’ if you’ve noticed. All those decade, fashion, and hair special editions – she’s on the cover of, either front and center, or side bar.
A word of advice Jen and Justin…don’t invite Uncle Terry to the wedding. If it ever happens.
Are you kidding? He’ll be the one marrying them, lol! Anyone can go online and get licensed to perform a marriage ceremony.
“Dude, you gave her the quartz!”
That made my morning.
Personally I don’t think they will marry. I think they are bi-coastal.
They both want to live in their preferred cities.
So they will just drift apart and find someone new.
I don’t think they’ll get married either. Justin doesn’t seem like the marrying kind ,which baffles me because I still don’t get why he proposed in the first place. That said ,I do think they’ll stay together.
He proposed because she’s been pressuring him ever since another couple’s engagement was revealed. He was with Heidi for 14 years, if he really wanted to be married, he wouldn’t have stayed with her for so long. He likes this arrangement just fine, all the benefits of being a high profile celebrity’s fiance without the yoke of marriage around his neck.
I think if Theroux’s career stalls, he’ll be more receptive to tying the knot, BUT if he continues to get jobs, and be high profile on his own (if he thinks he can sustain a level of fame/work without being husband savior to ‘Poor Jen’) — I think he’ll just coast along as her bicoastal long term bf. He also doesn’t strike me as a ‘manwh)re’ or someone that needs to chase women (or vulnerable late teens like his pervy buddy Uncle Terry) – I don’t know if that’s because he’s asexual and just doesn’t have a strong sex drive (the reason he can be away from Aniston on the east coast for 10 months at a time, and also seemingly not cheat/ have dalliances with others either), or maybe he’s gay. He was with that costume designer for 14 years, and by most accounts no one else — so apparently hot sex on the reg is not his bag (maybe it’s the too tight smelly poseur jeggings he lives in, LOL) . Which I’m sure suits Aniston, who comes across as not the most sexual person either, just fine.
LOL Jennifer bought herself a promise ring, how does that work? Havane and I promise to keep Justin in work as long he promise to be my pretend boyfriend.
Badabing! +infinity
I guess a cover about a surprise wedding would be an easier way for her to figure out where ShortyMcRaisedEyebrow is living these days than putting his visage on a milk carton.
He can pop up like a Hipster in a Box out of whatever boite he and Uncle Terry have been bottom feeding in (pun intended) to high pitch whine at the press he called in to tell them…
“I have no intention of opening my eyeballs of sand for you all to peer in about whatever plans I have with Ms. Tenth on my list of important things to take with me in a fire. Now go away until Mr. Huvnanny calls you back again so I can tell you to go away with my oh so superior way of speaking.”
She’s only 45? Huh…
and still a “blushing” bride-to-be
I’m calling BS on this story. “Justin leaves Jen at the altar of their secret wedding and she was devastated” that was the headlines of one of these tabloids last week and this week jen surprise wedding.
Coutney cox is supposed to get married this weekend. Maybe it, is a surprise double wedding…if Justin makes it back from NY
Guyliner McEyebrows is my new favorite nickname.
People magazine noted that Squirrels to Nuts (now called something else) went straight to DVD. I was amazed they actually put it in their “SKIP IT!” column. It must be sensationally bad.
It’s called ‘She’s Funny That Way’……
And really? It had a lot of talented people in it–but I am interested in what Jennifer’s next career phase is going to be. She doesn’t have anything going on the pipeline next year (unless she gets that Oscar nom.). Her foray into drama doesn’t seem to be going that well…..
It’d be…interesting if she and Justin got married in 2015. For the sake of fairness, rather than any real conviction, they could’ve been waiting to wrap up their respective projects (Leftovers Season 2 doesn’t even have any cast, crew, air date, or filming dates lined up yet), before getting married. But they haven’t been together for so long.
LOL, I called this. I knew she would say NO WAY, due to the sheer homeliness of those pics that were released from a few days onset a few months back. Huvane was sleeping on the job, because those pics of her onset should have never come out. The celeb press had a field day over how she was Tootsie redux. lol. I knew she was not only mortified at the fug when still pics of ‘Squirrels to the Nuts,’ came out (see here: http://www.sawfirst.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Jennifer-Aniston-on-the-Set-of-Squirrels-to-the-Nuts-in-NYC-8.jpg ) and that there was also no ‘fixing,’ with digital airbrush to be had — after all, airbrushing fug, only begets smooth fug. LOL I knew instinctively that she’d only want to bury this immediately. Yes, she’s THAT neurotic. She did the same with a few other movies where she looked bad. That’s why she’s trying to promote the latest role sans makeup as being so ‘brave.’ People in H’wood know it’s especially brave of her to look fug on screen simply because she’s the most neurotic silly lame ever and has been burying and fixing and digitizing herself to make herself look better on tv, commercials and stupid movies, for YEARS. She paid for her own touch ups on that jzz movie. But yeah no way was she going to have two horrible movies out there where she looks like blech, one with makeup one ‘without?’ Nah she was not having it.
Jen will have to have a planned ceremony with all the trimmings; no way will she do a spur of the moment wedding. She’s not the type. I still have my doubts they will ever marry.
Agreed. Miss out on that publicity? It will be the cameras that will make her day complete.
We need upvoting on the comments. You’re all so funny 😄
why do they even have to marry? i mean, she was married once, why does she needs that again when she has a boyfriend who clearly isnt into this oldfashioned rule which humans created?
i really start to believe that this whole engagement thing was just for PR to catch up with Brangelina. Poor Aniston. She is very very insecure. All this money doesnt help as we can see.
@Nikita, who wrote: “… why do they even have to marry? i mean, she was married once, why does she needs that again when she has a boyfriend who clearly isnt into this oldfashioned rule which humans created?”
I hear you. The sad thing, though, is that Jen-Hens had no sympathy for Heidi Bivens because “if Justin really wanted her he would have married her by now” and “she was stupid to stay with a man that long if he wasn’t interested in marrying her” and my personal favorite “they weren’t married so Justin was fair game … Jen didn’t do anything wrong!” Now the Hens are mostly saying there’s nothing wrong in not getting married, maybe they’re just not into getting married and just want to be engaged. And there ‘is’ nothing wrong with not getting married–for Jen or Heidi–but then the question remains: Why did Justin as Jen to marry him and why in the heck did he give her that huge a$$ diamond (or better, why did Jen feel the need to buy such a big ring for herself)? Why did they make such a big production out of the engagement?
@Emma, i dont know why they did that whole engagement thing but i start to believe it was jealousy. Aniston and her team were jealous of all the attention Brangelina got when they got “finaly”engaged after 6 kids and so many years togehter. she felt ignored, unimportand maybe, she wants to keep up with them, we see that over and over again. maybe justin gave his ok to this soap opera to please her but said to her that there will be no wedding in the near future and she took what she could to get what she wanted. She wanted to top them. I mean, just 4 months after the Brangelina engagement, they were suddenly also engaged and her ring was bigger and probably more expensive than Angelinas. And we all know Justin would never buy a ring like this. hes maybe not poor but i dont think hes that kind of guy to buy a ring this expensive cause in the end its a ridiculous waste of money.
If that cheap chunk of quartz cost a third as much as Angie’s ring cost, she got gypped.
@Nikita, who wrote: “And we all know Justin would never buy a ring like this. he’s maybe not poor but i don’t think he’s that kind of guy to buy a ring this expensive cause in the end its a ridiculous waste of money.”
Agreed. Justin is WAY too ‘hipster’ for that.
+1000000 @Nikita
Other actresses/actors wear the products and just be, letting the products speak for itself. Jennifer shills a product (and tells many fibs)…..and the product becomes lost…because it is all about selling Jennifer Aniston to the public. Any movie, whether she is the lead or not, it is to sell Jennifer Aniston in her endless rounds of interviews.
We won’t even discuss the “coincidences” she and her pr guru have done concerning the Jolie-Pitts. Personally, I hope Justin and Jen do get married….but, I still cannot get all the pictures of the ‘Leftover’ co-stars out of my mind. 😉
@Anon …
I really want them to get married as well and I sincerely hope they’ll be happy, but most of all … the moment Jen says “I do” to Justin the ties that bind her to the JP’s will finally be broken.
You’re too naïve there Emma – the JP Lover. The Aniston fans cannot get over that she was married to Brad Pitt at one point and they think she still should be. Even if she marries Justin, they will NEVER leave the JPs alone.
Aniston’s commercial for Aveeno cracked me up. They show her getting out of bed, stretching, greeting the brand new day. “A good night’s sleep and Aveeno” she says, trying for natural and healthy–but I could almost smell the stale cigarettes and tanning salon stench through my screen.
Giant cloudy quartz ring…whatev. It’s my dream ring. I love a big ass solitaire and I only wish my emerald-cut diamond was big like Jen’s. Ugh. Would love.
I thought the same thing about her diamond. It is the most lifeless stone ever. Zero sparkle.
This is just like last year’s holiday PR offensive,I predict.
~Are Hair and Eye grow still together?
~ Eyebrow to visit LA and be photographed with Hair acquiring Christmas tree, wreath, tequila etc. looking jaunty in expensive wool sweaters and combat boots and squinting their disapproval at having their privacy violated by photogs.
~ All of Huvane’s stable photographed coming and going from her annual Celebrity Hair Holiday Party.
~ Off to Cabo, reserving for the Pap’s convenience the same terrace and with same old bikinis and jorts and Smart Water bottles filled with vodka. Maybe this will be the year that Howard Stern finally takes her up on Living Proof Hair Products?
~ Eyebrow sadly must go back to NYC to enjoy the winter weather and “work.”
They take a break till Oscar season.
Very funny stuff!
Dear Jennifer and Justin,
Literally no one cares if you get married. Literally no one cares if you don’t get married.
–The World
Elopement one week, baby the next, hot feet, cold feet ,splitsville, Every week it’s something else. It’s like the boy who cried wolf x 1,000. Both have them have been a joke for a long time now.
Ironic. There were a whole bunch of pro-Jennifer fans who kept saying that Justin and Heidi’s relationship wasn’t real because he never married her so it was OK for Jennifer to start up with him though Heidi still lived in their apartment together and she didn’t know they were broken up.
So now Jennifer got herself a man who wasn’t into marriage even with a woman whom he probably LIKED more than her. I don’t know if this story is true that she’s that desperate to marry him but if she is, she has no room to complain and expect different from him. Just because she has more money, fame, and influence, doesn’t make her better than Heidi or make her more loved than Heidi was.
@Anne_000 …
I just posted pretty much the same thing up stream. Sorry! I ‘have’ to start ready all the comments before posting. (Blush)
Yes. So if Justin (since he is a cheater, its a matter of when, not if) cheats on her, we can all say that their relationship ‘never counted’ anyway, and it was her fault she was cheated on because she ‘didn’t put a ring on it’.
Great job, Kaiser! This one was very clever. Thanks for the morning laugh! I agree with those who say, “Poor Jennifer”, is how she has branded herself since her divorce. If I wanted to make lots of money via product endorsements as a divorced, childless middle-aged working gal, I’d go for the heartache angle, too. I know lots of women who can identify with this image. Also, she takes good care of herself, like other women hoping for Love. Her product endorsements are of Brands that middle-aged ladies, single, working, extra cash on hand, can buy. Her photoshoots for the Brands are polished, friendly. And in her everyday life, Jennifer dresses well, does her hair nicely, keeps her figure. In fact, the final product for her portfolio of endorsements ought to be an exercise business. Eventually, she will be like Christie Brinkley doing t.v. ads, but for a yoga guru or some such thing. You have to applaud her as a hard-working, smart, consistent businesswoman. We all could learn a lot from her marketing scheme if we wanted to stop worrying about having enough money!
I’m sorry, but when Angelina was made honorary dame by the queen, that’s when I thought: ‘Anyone (actors/celebs) even thinking about competing with her in terms of global influence, should just take their marbles and go home.’ Game over. lol. I had to concede that she’s here to stay, and I am not a huge AJ fan. So, at this point, I think the brange and AJ force has risen far above this triangle and Anniston’s PR guy should really rethink this strategy. Aside from it getting old and not really working anymore, it just doesn’t fit-the other characters have outgrown their respective roles in this. The brange are in a different stratosphere (than pretty much any other celeb, musician, actor, etc) and Huvane from a practical standpoint should recognize this and rebrand. It made sense for him to use the poor Jen thing for a few years after the divorce, but at this point, the other players are not relevant to the image now.
i absolutley agree with you @Irm, i also think its a bit ridiculous to go on with this poor jen thing Brangelina wronged her blabla because Brads kids are no babys anymore. i think its disrespectful to them, like this 45 year old superwealthy and healthy woman, to whom their dad was married to for only 4 short years is more important than 6 children who adores their mom and dad like all kids.
But, Aniston made her bed, now she has to lie in. she knows that her audience dont want to hear anything about Brangelina after a decade of crazy storys.
The PR flack’s strategy never did work with the industry and sane people – it only works with delusional bitter envious hens (unfortunately, of which there are many – they buy tabloids, they like Chelsea Handbag when she attacks Angie, they like when Jen attacks Angie – these are the same people who accuse Angelina of trapping Brad with kids, of having had a double mast just to get new big boobs, and of orchestrating a ‘brand’ – they also, without fail, will always maintain that every man that briefly contracts with Aniston to play her current mate is ‘hotter than Brad,’ lmao)
These are people Huvane will never ditch, and who he will always rally with a strategic Handler on Angelina attack, or nasty tabloid piece.
If you notice, Huvane has already done a kind of rebranding. After having pushed the Aniston as poor plain jane victim tripe for years, he started booking her movie roles where she was not the nice aging rom com sweetheart looking for love, but the raunchy middle aged stripper-esque aging sex pot..he bought her a couple of sexy ranking polls…and had her talk about her stripping a lot…every other month in Huffpo there was a ‘See Jen as You’ve Never Seen Her Before – Topless!!!!…but…er not really!’
At this same time, he stopped the grudge match she had with Brad Pitt (no one gets mad and stays mad at Brad, having a ‘war’ with him, got her nowhere) — so in 2008-2009, Huvane signs Handler the attack dog, and for the first time has Aniston go after Angelina on the cover of a major mag (Vogue), also at the same time on Oprah she will claim to NOW and always love/admire/respect Brad Pitt (who she blamed for their split in the years before, not Angelina if you recall), and then out of the blue, she STARTS her one-sided cat fight with Angelina (The Uncool Angie Vogue Cover, The Uncool Angie Oprah, Her ‘Consider the Source’ nasty GQ piece, her ‘isn’t it funny shooting Angelina with a gun’ story..and of course the start of the assorted Handler hit missions for the nest 3-4 years). It was clear the new target was Angelina.
It was hello public, I’m no longer sad homely Jen left by my mean sensitivity chip-less ex-husband who’s name I will never mention again…..she was now the ‘wannabe sex bomb Aniston with raunchy friends, and a raunchy side (in movies only) who will do what my bitter cows always wanted, and attack Brad’s beautiful partner and Mother to his children – so please support me in my endeavors hens, and hate them and buoy me.’
LOL That’s been the tip she’s been on for the last 5 years. That’s how she gets her press, by manufacturing an Angie silent grudge match, and stalking the both of them – so that HER so-called ‘fans’ ALWAYS associate one with the other.
I’ve said forever, that the only way an Aniston award season campaign even gets a semblance of attention (from her enablers and Huvane’s go-to lackeys), is if Angelina (and poss Brad) has been touted also. In any other award season, she is a joke and treated as such. But when they are on the scene, she’s pushed by Huvane and coddled by his pocketed celebrity press when Angelina is out there getting attention.
It’s called riding coattails, and Huvane has always done it, and he will never ever stop.
maybe he is seeing his former ex in NY….heh heh
For sure we would never want to deviate from the tabloid script – let’s make sure that it is always the female who is the poor one looking for a man to marry. Just once I want to see any blog, any magazine put the male in the usual place of the female. Like poor George Clooney he desperately wanted to marry all those women he dated but they all had cold feet and he couldn’t get them to the altar. Just once.
With that said I will never understand how all of this woman’s posts get so many responses. Blog about Jen and people just post like crazy. Go figure. Maybe that is why tabloids keep putting her on the cover. She must sell. I guess hate works as well as love for fame.