Gwyneth Paltrow has always struck me as one of those “revenge is a dish best served cold” kind of people. Gwyneth doesn’t get mad. Gwyneth doesn’t weep. Gwyneth doesn’t get fall-down drunk. Gwyneth never smacks anyone. She would never get into some kind of petty, peasanty social media fight. And she would never get sh-tfaced and tearfully drunk-text Chris Martin. But that’s what Star claims! They say that when Gwyneth’s smug attempt to passive-aggressively split up J-Law and Chris failed so spectacularly, she got wasted and texted Chris non-stop. How gauche.
Gwyneth Paltrow is known for her strict diet and healthy lifestyle. But insiders tell In Touch that when the GOOP founder discovered her ex-husband, Chris Martin, got back together with Jennifer Lawrence, she threw all that out the window and started chain-smoking!
The “meltdown,” according to In Touch’s source, happened on Oct. 31 – after Jennifer was spotted back at the Coldplay rocker’s Malibu home on Oct. 27, and again on Oct. 30.
On her way to a photo shoot on Halloween, Gwyneth was so on edge she started smoking and even tried to get her driver to stop for a drink so she could calm her nerves, the insider tells In Touch. “She never smokes or drinks like that,” the insider adds, “so everyone knew something was up.”
“She was a mess all day,” the insider says of Gwyneth, who last year declared that she allows herself to smoke a single cigarette every Saturday night. (Oct. 31 happened to be a Friday.) She was chain-smoking, says the insider, and “started frantically texting Chris.”
The smoking thing is more than possible. I tend to believe that she would chain smoke to calm her nerves, just because that seems in character. She might even have a stiff drink. But after that? No, she would not text Chris. She would quietly regroup and plan her next attack against She Who Dorito-Farts. But if Goop is drunk-texting Chris, I hope he submits it to Texts From Your Ex.
Meanwhile, Star Magazine has a pretty funny story about how Taylor Swift is the newest competitor in the game of “Who Wants To Bang Chris Martin?” The story is pretty ridiculous because – just my opinion – Chris seems like a much too obvious choice for Swifty. I’m sure he would be into it though. Anyway, Star’s sources claim that Swifty is taking advantage of Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin’s “busy schedules” and Swifty is moving in for the kill (the kill = sex with pillow weeping). Apparently, Swifty only joined The Voice as an advisor so she could spend more time with Chris and she’s been flirting with him constantly. Sources insist that Taylor is actively trying to “steal” Chris from her casual friend J-Law. Damn, you ladies do know you’re fighting over CHRIS MARTIN, right? Wake me up when three A-list ladies are fighting over, like, Tom Hiddleston.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Taylor Swift dating Chris Martin would be epic. I can imagine her songs about him and his crazy ex and his other farty ex. Amazing!
But I thought Taylor and Goop were friends? Didn’t she set up the whole Jake G relationship? Oh I guess that answers the question then? Pay back by Effing with her Ex for that sh!tty set up. “youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu are never ever ever getting back together”
Yes, I believe they are friends also. Taylor was spotted leaving Goop’s home sometime last year, I believe. I doubt she would go after Martin or a man with two kids. That doesn’t seem like her type.
@Betty. Right, because her type is 18 and under…
I agree completely! They would be a perfect couple.
YES YES YES!!!! OMG! Pls, make it happen! Pls, make it happen!
yeah give her some more credit than that ::tilts swifty tin foil hat::
Now this is one story I want to believe and wish was true.
This story is most likely not true, considering Gwyneth and Taylor are friends and Gwyneth was the one who set Taylor up with Jake Gyllenhal way back when.
Ooh there must be as serious ‘good taste failure’ going on in HW if they are chasing Chris Martin… I wouldn’t and I don’t know too many who would…
He seems pretty mediocre personality-wise and his looks aren’t anything to write home about but then there are other men who seem to have attractions invisible to me- the positively douchy John Mayer springs to mind
Can they just consciously re-couple already and call it a day? Oy.
I kind of want to post something on Text From Your Ex, but I need Kiddo to show up first. #whereiskiddo
Swift Mart doesn’t have the same ring as Martin Lawrence, so Taylor loses based on stylistic flair.
If only he would start dating Gina Gershon…
I dunno…I kinda like “S-Mart”…like in the Evil Dead movies?…
Shop smart, shop S-Mart”
No mention of that Brad Falchuk person she is supposedly dating.
I don’t think Paltrow gives a f-k, so long as Martin’s a good parent.
I don’t think she cares either. I get the impression that if she still wanted to be with Chris Martin she could snap her fingers and he’d come back.
Agree with you ladies.
I doubt she cares either. But all these ‘spurned wife eaten up with jealousy over husband’s much younger woman’ stories appeal to a certain sexist stereotype.
I still have my doubts whether Chris and JLaw are an item at all, or ever have been. I think it’s just a PR story.
+1
But “She Who Dorito-Farts” takes the prize for the funniest thing I’ve read today!
agreed – goop doesn’t seem like she’d be upset. but, yes, that sexist narrative sells.
I’m SO glad my Tommy Hiddleston isn’t involved in any of this hollywood BS. I love that he’s so low key.
Three women fighting for Lennt Kravitz ? I’ll totally buy that.
But three women over Chris Martin??? RLY???
This!
They seem to be setting records for folks involved in this–Paltrow and her side piece, Martin, Lawrence, J. Jones and now Swift. They are outdoing triangles by doubling and being a hexagon. And again—Martin is so special because???
Couple of British tabloids are claiming Martin is getting back to Alexa Chung 😛
And depending on the source, JLaw is single, dating Chris Martin, getting back with Hoult, secretly banging Liam Hemsworth or getting together with Josh Hutcherson…
*sigh* honestly Jen said herself the rumors were not true. She said on Letterman that the tab story from her grandmother about dating some guy (aka Chris Martin) was false. I think that was her way of killing the story
Anyways the only tabs hanging onto this story are the daily fail and star and we all know how reputable they are. LOL
Either way I think Gwenyth gives ZERO f—s about what he is doing. He lives across the street from him and he would come back in a second if she wanted it.
I have never cared so little about what a woman is doing with her vag in my life.
I thought this crap was over and done with. I don’t think Gwyneth cares and no one actually knows if Chris and Jennifer are together, and NO to the Taylor story as well.
Gwyneth’s shadow is super funny in that last pic. Reminds me of that movie she did where she wore a fat suit.
hahahaha Shallow Hal!
In the news today is said that Jlaw is getting back with Hoult
This will all end up in an orgy hosted by Martha Stewart.
and catered by blake lively.
which is stupid because she just called him her ex on tv.
I’m not sure when she would visit his family…was it before or after the IV drip and press conferences? lol
Its amusing all the same.
First of all, no one just smokes one cigarette per week. Second, she is the type to release evil, vile words to the media about girls she doesn’t care for; for instance calling JLo a contestant in wet shirt contest, J Aniston as “that girl in TV show.” Just give her time.
Not buying the one a week either.
Not trying to be mean. But i feel like these stories about all these successful attractive ladies fighting over Chris was put out there by his publicist. Or alternatively written by some fan girl.
I think It’s kinda funny that no one believes Star stories when it comes to people like La Jolie and others “Beloved Ones” but when it comes to Gwyneth even the most stupid and crazy story is “More than possible”
BS x 1000
+1
Both Goop and JLaw can do better. Alexa, not so much.
How would The Voice help Taylor be around Chris when he isn’t on it this year?
Is this a case of Goop’s not wanting him anymore but not wanting anyone else to have him either? Just asking……
Imo she would have liked to keep him, as in staying married and being a happy couple in the public’s eyes, even if they were doing their own thing.
I think she probably did text Chris, probably something that was a mixture of nagging, instructive, and a subtle insult.
I love when you have any article on Goop because the picture you include always reminds me what NOT to do. I have a face and hair like her and I’ve learned that as you get older (38 now) you can’t wear it so straight or tightly pulled back or it just ages you. Thank you for reminding of this fact!
You see I don’t think she could snap her fingers and get him to come back. I think they were done long before the “uncoupling”. I think he was the one who wanted out because he was in love with Alexa Chung and Paltrow reluctantly agreed. She was already with Falchuk but liked to parade around the happy family image with Chris. Then she was happy because after all that, Alexa moved on. This supposed relationship with Jennifer might actually bother her because it’s public evidence that he has moved on and that she is not in control. Which embarasses her. But I believe it has little to do with her having any feelings for Chris. She’s just pissed her control over him is slipping and she wants all of us to believe she could snap her fingers and have him back.
She looks rough. All the money she has, access to expensive treatments, God that skin.
Nope. Taylor once described Gwyneth as, “the best person she knows”. She could be Single White Female-ung Gwyneth but that is highly improbable.
I hate to say this but I feel the burn for Gwyneth and feel sorry for her. I can’t imagine being a forty something year old woman who’s ex husband is dating a girl who could easily be her daughter. Gwyneth should stay strong. It’s not easy but I think that women tend to get the short end of the stick when it comes to men.
Ummm one single ciggie on saturday night. Doubt it. Not with that rough as old boots skin. She looks totally 2 packs a day.