A few days ago, I covered Kaley Cuoco’s Redbook interview – go here to read the original post. Over the course of the interview, Kaley was asked if she self-identifies as a feminist. A lot of you are tired of actresses getting this question. I am not. I actually like the fact that so many prominent women in the public eye are talking about feminism and being asked about it. It might be the “trend” or whatever, but I find feminism questions more interesting than questions about hair, diet and makeup. And just FYI, for all of the people crying double-standard: lots of men are being asked about feminism these days too. Anyway, when Kaley was asked “Are you a feminist?” this was her reply:
“Is it bad if I say no? It’s not really something I think about. Things are different now, and I know a lot of the work that paved the way for women happened before I was around… I was never that feminist girl demanding equality, but maybe that’s because I’ve never really faced inequality. I cook for Ryan five nights a week: It makes me feel like a housewife; I love that. I know it sounds old-fashioned, but I like the idea of women taking care of their men. I’m so in control of my work that I like coming home and serving him. My mom was like that, so I think it kind of rubbed off.”
[Via Redbook]
While that’s not the most ignorant thing I’ve ever heard, it’s still not the position I would expect from a 29-year-old woman who has worked in an industry that has historically been very, very harsh for women. At best, she sounds Pollyanna. At worst, she sounds like a vapid fool. Well, Kaley took to her Instagram to “correct the record”. And I’m not sure what she’s really trying to say here?
In my Redbook article, some people have taken offense to my comments regarding feminism- if any of you are In the “biz” you are well aware of how words can be taken out of context. I’m completely blessed and grateful that strong women have paved the way for my success along with many others. I apologize if anyone was offended. Anyone that truly knows me, knows my heart and knows what I meant.
“I apologize if anyone was offended”??? She didn’t make a racist comment. She didn’t drunkenly mouth off to a cop. She didn’t do anything “wrong” or illegal. If she doesn’t self-identify as feminist, no one is “offended”. We just think she sounds stupid, and her non-apology, half-excuse of “I was sort of misquoted but I’m still not really going to explain how I was misquoted but if you know me, you totally understand, right?” is actually the offensive part.
Photos courtesy of Kaley’s Instagram, cover courtesy of Redbook.
Lord, that hair is tragic, tragic (said in my best Mr. Omar voice–from Everybody Hates Chris).
That’s some Big Band hair right there.
It pains my eyes mimif. I wince every time I look at a picture and see her hair like that. She isn’t ugly, but she NEEDS her hair.
Is Not even The Hair (cause Im Big On short hair and when she works Out..sh!t that pic where she looks like fresh hell with the red sweater, Her Hair Looks Way Waaayy Better) IS THAT Mom ass styling and too white bleached hair..she looks easily 45….
If Im Offended by that hair, is she gonna apologize??
I think she downplays her success because her husband is clearly not… successful. Does he work? That makes me sad for her…she should celebrate her success — it’s rare enough these days.
I think she over plays her interest as a celebrity and talent as an actor. She landed a good role in an ensemble sitcom that did very well. She’s not doing Broadway anytime soon (ahem, Priceline, ahem) so she stays around by cutting her hair and dropping deep thoughts on feminism. Next up, a charitable cause like puppy blindness or endangered potted plants because…you know…. Relevancy.
+100
She’s bringing home the bacon and he is not. Still that’s their business. What I have a problem with is her saying that’s she’s never faced any inequality so feminism is a non-entity in her life. How many White people marching with Dr.King faced any prejudice? They were out for a cause because they didn’t think racism and Jim Crow laws were right. Many women face pay inequality and unequal treatment so even men who don’t face the same problem are aware and support feminism.
+1000
I’ve decided that the apology was meant to cover her first response’s obliviousness to her own privilege.
She clearly doesn’t have the language to outright say so, but that’s what I’ve decided to hear. Keeps me from yelling at people to stop making stupid people famous.
100% agreed. You hit the nail on the head.
+1000001. Well said T.C.
Her husband plays the professional tennis circuit, I knew about him long before any of you ever heard of her. Professional tennis players make enough money to live a nice life but his income is modest compared to her Big Bang bucks. He has been working hard for many years, he is not a bum.
Well that’s a non-apology. The old “taken out of context” excuse? Really? Wouldn’t her people have to sign off on any article before publication?
BTW “I’m sorry you were offended” is not the same as “I’m sorry if I offended you.” It’s like saying “I’m sorry you’re an assh*le.”
In this case I think an “if” makes more sense, because already people are saying they weren’t offended.
I think the fact she asked “is it bad if I say no?” to the feminist question also indicates that she has some awareness of how heated these debates can get.
Former journalist here, just wanted to clear a few things up.
First off, no, it her team would not sign off on the article before it was published. Publicists and interviewees have a lot of power in an interview, especially if the interviewee is a celebrity. They can vet the questions they will be asked, they can listen in on the interview while it’s being conducted and stop their client from talking, they can record the interviews themselves, they can request interviews from certain magazines and journalists and reject those from others. Once the interview is over, however, the writer has to go off and write a good article, and having a team sign off before publication is considered unethical because it veers towards censorship.
That said, journalists can’t really take “out of context” even if they want to. That’s not only unethical and affects the reputation of the magazine (which is fine for “In touch” but not ok for “redbook” or “vogue” or “cosmo”) but if someone can prove that the quote was truly out of context then the journalist and the publication could be sued for libel.
Tl;DR Cuoco is full of shit. She said something dumb and she got caught, now she’s trying to blame it on the magazine because people don’t really know how this shit works.
Yeah doubt anyone is “offended”. I personally feel sorry for her, and anyone that doesnt understand feminism and spouts this bs.
This 100%
No one was offended, maybe a little embarrassed for her, but not offended.
Ah well, at least she vaguely acknowledged feminism’s place in history, even if she doesn’t think we need it today.
I think she gave a coded response as to not offend the misogyny machine that is Chuck Lorre.
Now that you’ve mentioned Chuck Lorre, I was reminded of Katherine Heigl and her comments on Knocked Up, and how she got slammed for criticizing the movie’s depiction of female characters, not just by Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen, but the general public as well. I thought what she was saying was true, but people didn’t like what she had to say.
That is the worst part of her statements, that she seems to think feminism is unnecessary now. I admit, I don’t know who she is, since I don’t watch whatever tv show she is on, but I am stunned and somewhat depressed by her utter stupidity. I am also calling out her comment on never having faced inequality. I don’t believe that for a minute. The religious right is working day and night to take away woman’s rights, so I find her comments ignorant, and tragic for the future of all women.
I never saw her saying she thought feminism was unnecessary. What I thought she was saying was that because she’s been fairly privileged in her life, she herself never felt compelled to identify as feminist. But I didn’t see her denying the right of others to call themselves feminist. All I saw was her talking about how the issue relates to her and why she holds that viewpoint for herself. I never derived the conclusion that she was speaking for others in saying they should shut themselves down as feminists.
@ perplexed – but isn’t this like saying because white people (in the US, at least) have never faced, firsthand, the kind of discrimination and bigotry launched at black people, they shouldn’t have felt compelled to get involved in things like the Civil Rights Movement or worked to desegregate schools and public buildings? One doesn’t have to experience something firsthand to acknowledge injustices and fight for that cause. Her affirmation that the issue of feminism doesn’t relate to her simply because she doesn’t feel she’s ever been the subject of inequality is no excuse to remain ignorant to the fact that there are plenty who have indeed been the subject of such. She can’t acknowledge and/or throw her support behind a cause that she feels she won’t personally benefit from?
@perplexed,
I came down hard on Katherine because after reading the script and its depiction of women, she still signed off on it and got paid. If she had such a huge problem with it, she should have taken a pass, but she didn’t. It was just typical Katherine. Talking out the side of her neck.
Hiegl drew criticism for her unprofessional behavior not her stand on women’s rights.
Was she considered unprofessional because she criticized Knocked Up? I can’t tell if this comment is about her general reputation or about those specific comments. If some did consider her unprofessional for criticizing how women were portrayed in the move, that’s why she came to my mind mind when someone mentioned the misogyny machine of Chuck Lorre.
I’m not certain as to whether Heigl was correct from a professional standpoint by offering a critique of how the women were portrayed in the film because of the etiquette governing publicizing one’s movie (and getting paid for it), but I didn’t think her comments were untrue. Therefore, if Kayley Cuoco were to do a similar kind of critique of Chuck Lorre’s shows, I wonder what the response would be. I didn’t really clarify properly what I meant in bringing up the comparison, but Chuck Lorre’s name inspired my mind to roam into some wondering about how people would respond if Cuoco criticized Lorre’s depiction of women (I don’t find Big Ban Theory particularly offensive in this regard, but, say, she criticized Two and a Half Men) – would people say support her comments or would they say she’s being unprofessional? But I’ll admit this speculation is tangential to the rest of the discussion…
I don’t think she’s saying others of the same privilege (white and rich) shouldn’t feel compelled to join the cause, though. I don’t think her aim is to shut down anyone’s right to their opinion. Maybe she’s self-involved to some degree because of her own privilege (that’s hard for me to judge without knowing her) but I don’t think she was going so far as denying other people the choice to identify with the cause, which I would find problematic. All I see coming from her is her desire not to identify as feminist from a personal standpoint. That’s her choice in her personal life. It would be nice if she did identify as feminist, but I don’t think simply stating what her choice is from a personal standpoint, if she was feminist, would change much of anything from a collective standpoint because of the wide body of ideology and theory that surrounds it. Not that stating the choice is not useful in its own way, but I wouldn’t put it on the same level of actually fighting for change like people who did march, privileged or not, in the civil rights movement or Malala starting up a fund to help young women. A lot of different gestures are being equated with each other, but I don’t necessarily think they all carry the same weight (in this case, people marching in an actual civil rights movement or trying to change the law in an active way vs. stating one’s personal choice in a random quote for Redbook. I identify as feminist, but I don’t think me simply stating that on a blog under the name “perplexed” is effecting the kind of change that people marching in the civil rights movement did.)
Agreed. Why would a feminist object to feeding her family? Why would a feminist be anti cooking? If she’s equating gender roles with feminism, then she doesn’t know what feminism means.
I don’t know you, Kaley, and I have no interest in getting to know another vapid celebrity. Happy 2015!
+1000
And isn’t the point of doing an interview in a magazine so we can get to know her? This isn’t a secret BFF journal she is passing back and forth in class.
(ETA – I see Connie addressed this down thread as well)
That’s exactly what a thought an interview was for … I don’t think people who know her will but those magazines, will they?!
Too late to take it back, think before you speak or let somebody write it for you!!
Some people did sound offended when she identified as non-feminist though. I can see how she interpreted the tone that way.
On another note, I don’t think she’s downplaying her successes for her husband, but I think she might be downplaying her looks! These are some bad photos….
Vapid fool? Yeah that about covers it.
She’s minimally talented but very very rich. Unfortunately her apparent utter desperation to be liked and embraced will lead to a lot more of this nonesense.
Also, damn girl. My 84 year old grandmother gave up that hairstyle because it aged her too much.
“of “I was sort of misquoted but I’m still not really going to explain how I was misquoted but if you know me, you totally understand, right?” is actually the offensive part.”
I thought it was inarticulate, but I didn’t find it offensive.
Never watched her tv show, don’t know much about her. I just remember her dragging Superman around with coffee in her hand before he dumped her and she married the guy who she loves to make dinner for. I have to give her a thumbs down simply for saying the tiresome “I’m not the girl….this…or that….” It’s almost as grinding and annoying as….”at the end of the day..” Puppets.
He didn’t dump her. On the contrary, that bearding attempt failed miserably. Their publicists brought them together then told them it didn’t work. If she hadn’t had a long time, quiet (on his insistence) relationship with Johnny Galecki, one would think she needed a beard just as much as Superman.
I simply don’t care about her opinion on feminism. Period.
Same here.
Although I tend to avoid all feminism posts anyway.
Furthering my loss of girl-crush love for Kaley. More Mindy Kaling stories, please.
Yep, she lost me too
Same here. I used to crush on her due to the fact that she rides horses too, has adopted and acted as an advocate for pit bulls and seemed to be a generally cool and down-to-earth girl. I reluctantly defended her during the Henry Cavill showmance and with her newfound thirstiness for fame. But this was the final straw. Her image was better before when she had kept a low profile.
Also, short hair reallllllly doesn’t suit her.
I agree that she didn’t do anything wrong, but…. I saw a lot of people who were very offended by her comments, so I’m not surprised she apologized. She seems like she has a very people-pleaser personality, which probably goes along with her not being a feminist. I don’t think she’s especially bright or articulate, but I do think she’s pretty canny about getting attention. She’s wrung two full cycles of press out of a fairly innocuous comment.
The number of women praising her for this interview on my Facebook timeline was depressing. Wonder if one day feminism will be actually thought of as gender equality rather than “man-hating, Home Depot-loving, angry, ugly lesbian women”
I prefer Ace Hardware. Does that make me bi?
Ace Hardware? Yikes feminist AND hipster! What’s wrong with you?
I fuc*ing love Marshall’s. I think that means I’m Goop.
ps Home Depot kicks Ace’s ass.
*hides*
Why is this even being discussed?
Fact: Ace is the squidgy Cumberbatch of Hardware stores.
Home Depot is the Dessert Hardy of Hardware stores.
Dessert Hardy knows how to work, and find ‘things’ and doesn’t give broken hardware with missing parts.
Dessert Hardy = Ace
Dick Cheney = Home Despot
I favor Rona (Canadian chain) so does that make me hipster butch or something? With a side of maple syrup?
I just chalked it up to another annoying disappointment at the state of the minds of young women like her. However her ‘explanation’ like so many before her just makes it worse. Thankfully I have 0% invested in this lass. Carry on Kaley.
I’M OFFENDED BY THAT HAIR.
“Anyone that truly knows me, knows my heart and knows what I meant.”
But we the public don’t know you personally, so what did you actually mean?
I think she said what she means when she said this: “I’m completely blessed and grateful that strong women have paved the way for my success along with many others.”
I don’t think she’s articulate, but I also didn’t find it difficult to parse out what she was saying in her Instagram post either.
@Perplexed Oh I know what she meant but my point is that it’s silly for her to make these comments directed to the public when most people don’t know her, what her intentions were, etc. She says her quotes were taken out of context meaning that there was more to what was said. Ultimately, this is another standard celebrity non apology apology.
To be fair there were some really mean comments on Twitter, so some people were clearly offended.
I find her comment tragic. She really should look up the definition of feminism. But i´m not offended and i give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it´s really out of context? Yes maybe i´m too nice today, but look at the text, at first it looks as if it is one big comment about feminism But what if it were two thoughts while she was speaking with the interviewer and the mag just put them in one part? If you stop reading after “but maybe that’s because I’ve never really faced inequality.” and then stop and see the rest as a new comment about her marriage it doesn´t look that bad. Just poor worded and silly.
Oh and i wonder what Mayim Bialik has to say about it 😉
I don’t think Mayim has anything to say about this. Mayim is just going to keep her head down and keep working. She’s got her kids to support and she’s not making the huge money (even though she and Melissa R are doing all the heavy lifting this season).
My guess is she and Kaley don’t have scads to talk about given the gulf between their education and life experience.
Mayim Bialik has some kind of blog, I think. She wrote about Ariane Grande. She’s very educated but I don’t know if she’s really anymore articulate than Kaley (at least when it comes to writing). I’ve seen her in interviews and she comes off well there, but I was surprised at how she articulated her thoughts in print.
Mayim’s blog is kind of a between friends kind of blog. It’s not meant to be highly quotable. It’s meant to be a place where she can write about what she did on vacation or what’s cheesing her off this week. If you read articles she’s written for LaLeche or her book you’ll see a difference.
I respect Mayim. She would be an interesting person to know. Kaley… I already know enough dim wits.
True, but I didn’t think her post on Ariane Grande was well-written or well-thought out even though I do find Grande annoying and understood what Bialik was TRYING to say. Her post did engage topics like the patriarchy, so in a way it would probably fit in with the discussion about Kayley’s thoughts on feminism . That she seemed shocked that she’d have to explain certain things to her son struck me as kind of weird for someone who is as educated as her. I mean, she was born in 1975, not 1925. I guess people don’t find her annoying because she has a Phd, but if another celebrity had written what she’d said about Grande they be taken to task not only for being sort of uninformed, but also making the disdain for another celebrity known publicly. Everyone was mad at Christian Bale about saying whatever about George Clooney, and his opinion was kind of gentle compared to Mayim Bialik’s opinion of Ariane Grande. I don’t find Mayim annoying in general and I do respect her qualifications and aspirations outside of Hollywood, but her level of articulation on topics like the patriarchy aren’t any more well-written or well-said than any other celebrity’s.
Also wanted to add that Mayim also wrote a post about Frozen. I have no idea how accurate her thoughts were on the movie’s “male-bashing” as I have not seen it myself, but her writing style was sort of Kayley-like in expressing what she thought of the movie.
She has nothing to apologize for; stay true to yourself. She seems like a sweet girl and I don’t get the vitriol directed her way. Probably for the simple fact she puts herself out there.
Her comments about feminism were stupid and embarassing, but not offensive. I don’t get what the hell she’s talking about.
The hair and wardrobe in that cover are offensive, however. I’ll have to bleach my eyes out to erase the memory of that.
I’m curious what was misquoted or taken out of context. I don’t think a lot of celebrities actually understand what “taken out of context” means. Did she give that answer to that question? If not, what was the actual situaiton?
I don’t think what she said was offensive, just clueless. But if she felt the need to come out and say Redbook did her wrong, she should explain how.
When I looked at her comment, I don’t think she indicated the magazine took her quote out of context. I understood her sentence to mean that her comments were taken out of context by those reading them (I’m now trying to figure out if she used the term correctly, but that’s how I understood what she seemed to be saying). I think it’s clear that she doesn’t identify as feminist, but the other conclusions reached about her seemed to be assumed rather than something explicitly stated by her if I were to go by Twitter comments (i.e she wants feminism to stop – that seemed like a far reach to me). From that, I assumed she felt her comments were taken out of context in other settings — i.e social media, other articles repeating the info, other blogs, etc. I’m guessing that’s what she meant because of how she worded her statement — she didn’t state that Redbook took the comments out of context, just that that’s where the comments initially appeared.
Maybe people wrote directly to her on social media and that’s what she’s responding to. I don’t think she was responding to just one outlet, like this blog or somebody else’s blog. I wouldn’t be surprised if people sent messages to her directly. That’s how I assume she would know what people thought of her opinion.
Silliness. Kelley’s milking her moment.
Just going from this story, I don’t find anything offensive perse.
I don’t recall facing much inequality as a woman myself. But I live in a very progressive country and I am privileged in many ways. But I am a feminist and do fight for equal rights because I know many women (and others) arent as fortunate as me.
That picture of her in the red sweatshirt is everything. That’s me with my ‘Is It Morning Already Face?’
I wasn’t offended by her comment. People should be free to identify or not identify as a feminist- I’ll save my offense for people who are actively promoting misogyny. But her response does make her sound like she doesn’t have a strong understanding of feminism and why it’s needed in our society. It’s not the stupidest celeb quote I’ve heard about feminism- that prize probably goes to Farrah Abram, who thought being a feminist means being a lesbian.
I’ve noticed that a lot of times when these celebrities say eye-roll worthy things about feminism, they bring up something about whether or not they’re able to make a certain choice. She brings up wanting to cook for her husband and feel like a housewife. That Emily girl (Ratajkowski) felt the need to clarify that she could have the kind of sex that she wants, dance how she wants, and still be a feminist. Others have talked about liking femininity or some aspect of gender roles. Courtney Stodden said something about wearing what you want. Shailene Woodley said something about being in touch with her masculine side and feeling that the term feminism discriminates. I think part of the reason why we get some of these ‘duh’ responses is partially because growing up, everyone hears rumors about feminism- what it means you supposedly can or can’t do- and that shapes their opinion of it. It probably doesn’t help when people who are feminists say things that go in line with those rumors either. Plus feminism is a political movement that’s not really taught very much in elementary, middle school, or high school. They teach you about women getting the right to vote, but they don’t really get into what feminism means. So I can understand some of the confusion about feminism, But Kaley Cuoco and these other women still have time and money to educate themselves about it if they’re interested. It’s not like they’re rejecting feminism because of some of its problematic parts.
I don’t think one really learns about feminism until one goes to university. I don’t remember learning about it before that, although I knew about the concept on my own. I also don’t remember so many magazines asking actresses about feminism until now. In the 90s, I can’t recall anybody asking Julia Roberts or Winona Ryder these questions.
I also wonder if there has been a generational change of sort in the opinion of feminism. I thought perhaps Cuoco and other actresses don’t identify as feminist because there exposure to the definition has been limited by not having studied it in university, yet Jennifer Aniston is not university educated and is perceived as having a similar personality to Cuoco, but she identifies as feminist. Some kind of generational shift has happened in the other direction, but I don’t know why. Kate Middleton is university educated, but I’m now wondering what answer she would give if she were allowed to give an answer to the question. Maybe someone should ask Pippa….
Cluelessness confirmed!
I’m tired of this being the buzz question to younger actresses that aren’t known for anything but doing their parts, like Kaley or being a popstar. Let Kaley bring it up if she wants to. If a popstar has any dept to her or in her music, the question might be relevant. But Katy Perry? These questions being posed ad nauseum to the likes of MIley Cyrus and Kaley I’m bored with. It’s the thing now. If I don’t consider them overly intelligent to begin with, why this question. Kayley is known to give ditsy interviews and a sweet girl who has a job on a sitcom. Stop with the feminism question given to these types of actresses and young pop stars. It’s nothing against them at all. It’s just become all too disingenuous and a stock question now.
Everytime Kaley opens her mouth she proves she has the substance of a fart. And I’m sorry if I offended farts. People who know me know what I mean.
And why shouldn’t people be offended by someone being a Patriarchy denier when they have clearly been one of the few lucky women to avoid a lot of the shit? Comments like hers prop up the system.
I hate that even people who claim to be feminists seem to think that denying sexism issues is somehow lower down the ‘scale’ of ‘ism’s’ – that’s why 100 years down the line racism and homophobia will be all but forgotten with the current developments in attitude but sexism will still be utterly woven into society.
That’s why nobody bats an eyelid at casual misogyny but freaks the hell out at some ‘possible’ negative interpretation when talking about race…
She’ll get her chance to experience inequality very soon as she understands that Hollywood considers her too old to cast in anything but mom roles.
I am not offended by what she said, I am not even shocked that yet another prominent woman believes all feminism is, is how we divide chores at home. ???? WTF. I am very disappointed that she is parroting the right wing utra-reductive definition of feminism and feminists and piling on with the “I make dinner for my husband so I am not a feminist, and anyway it doesn’t affect me personally, just the olds”. Basically that is what she is saying, we should all thank the angry right wing talking heads for warping this discussion. Is that all being a feminist is? Are we only looking to see that our chores are balanced? Since she seems to utterly believe the ultra-reductive view of feminism she has probably sold her own worth short, maybe without even realizing it. After the Sony hack and the stories of women in film making at least 2% lower than their lessor rewarded male talent, does she really know for a fact that she is earning what her male counterparts earn on TBBT? Does she realize that her acting opportunities become lessor and lessor as she ages, much more so than her male counterparts? Does she realize that because of this her retirement will be effected? This is but one of the issues of feminism, we are worried and fighting for our future. Earning potential affects everything. Does she realize being an ingenue lasts but a short time, and because of this she must take extra special care in planning her own future, we are still fighting for her, she is not exempt from the effects of the disparity of earning power for females in general and specifically. The division of household chores simply has nothing to do with feminism or being a feminist. She also seems to fear not being seen as feminine and I feel sorry for her for this, because, ugh, really? Come on, feminists are fighting for many other issues as well, because they impact the family, we fight for universal pre-k, maternity leave, paid maternity leave, family leave, universal health care, raising the minimum wage, we fight for equal pay, we fight for the family unit, we fight for marriage equality, and much more. Those things seem pretty important and worth fighting for and worth discussing at length by people who know and understand what feminism is, so WTH Redbook.
She looks like a different person with that haircut. Hate to say it, but not flattering.
Kaley, you’re a minor starlet with okay comic timing who got very, very lucky. No one thinks you care about feminism. It’s okay! We were not expecting deep thoughts from you.
Love,
Your indifferent public
In other words, Kaley, we know you’re not method acting when playing ditsy Penny on the Big Bang Theory…
With that hair, she looks like she’s about to star in a Kate Plus Eight biopic.