Sometimes we get Celebitchy newbies who are not familiar with my aversion to bad bangs. For the record, I believe nearly all bangs are bad. It’s my hangup and I’m working through it. I have three categories: the worst is “bangs trauma,” where a woman has gotten bangs and it was a really bad decision that she should regret. The second category is “middle ground bangs” – which does happen – where the lady doesn’t really look that different with or without bangs, or when the bangs are done well (which is a spectacular feat). Then there is the unicorn, the rare woman who looks amazing with bangs and should never be without them.

Which of those three options is Behati Prinsloo? I feel sort of sorry for Behati, I think this is the first time I’ve ever covered her without the story having something to do with her new-husband Adam Levine. She’s a successful model in her own right, although she became much more famous when she got with Levine. Can we blame Levine for these bangs? Because I think these are full-on BANGS TRAUMA. Behati debuted The Trauma at a Super Bowl party on Saturday. I guess it’s taken this long for most sites to ID her. Because she looks so different with those hideous bangs.

You know who Behati reminded me of with her new hair? Bradley Cooper’s young girlfriend, Suki Waterhouse. Suki’s been doing a similar fringe for a few years. I kind of think Suki pulls it off better than Behati.

Photos courtesy of WENN.