There are a lot of unusual things I’d like to taste. Buffalo. Shark. Alligator. But never have I thought about a nice grilled George Clooney. However PETA assumes you have, and that you’d do just about anything you can to have a taste of the man. Thus, they’re trying to convince Clooney to get on board with their craziest idea ever: George Clooney-flavored tofu. At least they’re not suggesting people eat George instead of animals.
Just when we thought we’d seen it all from PETA — the animal rights organization known for high-profile celebrity ads — President Ingrid Newkirk has come up with this: George Clooney-flavored tofu.
In a letter sent to the actor, Newkirk said that PETA has been offered his gym towel (obtained right here in D.C.!) and wants to use his sweat to create Clooney tofu that will “spare animals from being killed for the table.” She went on to explain that the science is pretty simple, like “making artificial chicken flavor for instant gravy.”
Newkirk, a big fan of Clooney, told us yesterday that the towel was offered by a PETA supporter with the idea of auctioning it off, but she immediately thought of using his perspiration for bean curd: “I thought, ‘What would make tofu more attractive to people?’ … I can see people having parties to try CloFu.”
Clooney’s not biting. “As a mammal, I’m offended,” he told us yesterday through his rep.
[From the Washington Post]
You can read PETA’s ridiculous letter to Clooney here. On their website, they claim they’re always trying to find new ways to spice up the flavor of tofu in order to get people to become vegetarians. But human flavored? Unless you want your tofu with a side of fava beans and a nice chianti, I really doubt this would be an acceptable replacement for most people’s customary form of meat. And if that wasn’t gross enough, let’s also point out, it’s not George Clooney flavored so much as it is George Clooney’s sweat flavored.
I realize this is just ripe for jokes about tasting George Clooney. But somehow I can’t do it, because I’m so grossed out by most of this. And I’m always up for a dirty joke. All this does is make me want to comfort myself with a nice ostrich burger.
The only way I would like to taste George’s sweat is if I were the one making him sweat… up close and personal 😉
Another thing caught my eye. Why wold a vegetarian want something chicken flavored? Fake or not, if they truly believe what the claim (and I’m sure most do, don’t bite me) why would you want something that even has the fake taste of an animal? Odd I tell you!
This has to be a joke. Please tell me it’s a joke. After reading the letter, I realize it borders on the certifiably insane. I’m a vegetarian…..but doesn’t it seem a little, uh, hypocritical to use a living creature’s (Clooney’s) sweat to produce food when you’re trying to curb that same procedure with other living creatures (animals)? PETA gives vegetarianism a bad name.
People supposedly taste like pork, or does PETA not know this? If they can make tofu that can rival a porkchop, I’ll give it a go.
PETA fookin nuts! I agree with keltilass, not unless I was licking it off him!
Not a fan of PETA but the new Pink / Ricky Gervais commercial is both hilarious and highly disturbing.
Who in their rightful mind would want to TASTE a STD? That is what comes to my mind in regards to anything Clloney-flavored.
Yuck!
Vomit!
@Baho: “People supposedly taste like pork, or does PETA not know this? If they can make tofu that can rival a porkchop, I’ll give it a go. ”
hee hee 🙂
great headline jaybird
George is a notorious jokester and this sure sounds like it could be one of his pranks.
Otherwise, I’m with you keltilass!
i’m a vegetarian and I think PETA are so far off their rockers i’m thinking someone should start slipping a little Haldol into their morning coffee.
and also, keltilass, I can only speak for myself, but none of the stuff you’re referencing actually tastes like chicken. Taste some chicken bouillion cubes sometime….do they actually taste like chicken to you, or typical chicken seasonings and salt. There you go. I accidentally bit into some chicken hidden in a “vegetarian” burrito a couple of years back, and I can even more so state that not only were any of my vegetarian protein substitutes anywhere near that in taste, but the actual taste of real chicken to me after years of being meat free, tasted something along the lines of chowing down on a feather pillow.
That being said, Clooney could maybe respond to this with a fundraiser along the lines of “lick a clooney for a loonie”.
..just sayin’
So they’ve come up with a way to make Tofu taste highly overrated?
Cant wait to cook up some Clooney Kittens.
@Bob: ha! 🙂
that’s not a very vegan idea, is it? man is animal…sweat is byproduct of animal…vegans consume no animal byproducts…ergo, clooney tofooney is not vegan and peta can suck it. media whores…
What the hell are PETA on about now? I thought the point of tofu was that it didn’t really have a taste thereby allowing it to take on the flavours it’s cooked with… no? I can only stomach it in a Mee Goreng. Why would I want it to smell or taste like Clooney, or any man for that matter? EWWWW that just conjures up really bad mental images. I’m going to gag.
Stay far away George. PETA is nuts, and they are trying to drag you down into their slimey vegetable mess. In other words, they just want to use your good name.