I love a good Jack White bitchfest, and Jack has delivered once again. This hilarious guacamole-gate story surfaced last weekend, but the BAFTAs and Grammys hit, so I decided to ignore it. Thanks to Jack’s temper, the controversy came back.
Here’s what happened. Jack performed at the University of Oklahoma a week ago. The campus paper got wind of Jack’s tour rider, and they published it for all to examine. Jack’s $80,000 payment was exposed, as was a very specific guacamole recipe. Detailed tour riders are nothing new to gossip hounds, but many delighted in the language (“we like it chunky“) used in the guac recipe. And it was a really good recipe. Jack’s touring PR agency, William Morris Endeavor Entertainment, threatened an OU boycott of their artists, which include Pharrell and Alicia Keys.
Jack was reportedly upset about the salary news but not so much about the guacamole (which wasn’t even for him). All of this should have blown over, but the media kept talking. Then NPR discussed about the ins and outs of the guacamole recipe on Weekend Edition, which made Jack angry. He fired off an open letter on his website to call out NPR and the media. Jack ranted about guacamole and bananas and ethics. He’s really fired up, and here are a few paragraphs of the rant:
wow. classy.
seems like there’s a new rule number one for up and coming journalists: don’t let the facts get in the way of click bait. first off, this is none of your business, but i have no specific demands in my dressing room. i know i could ask for lots of things but i actually don’t ask for ANYTHING. i take with me what i need, and that ain’t much. anything on the rider is for the band and the crew. this “guacamole recipe” is my hilarious tour managers inside joke with the local promoters, it’s his recipe, not mine. it’s just something to break up the boredom, seeing who can make it best. though i wouldn’t know because i’ve never had it. i can’t even make kool aid let alone cook any real food enough to have a “recipe.” sorry, i don’t have that talent.
bananas: did it occur to anyone someone on the tour might have an allergy to them? no? hmmm. one day some fantasy journalist out there will call someone in the biz and actually have a rider explained to them, maybe none of them have ever been on tour. oh well, let’s move on, first amendment issues: i fully believe in the freedom of the press (though the supposed search for truth from the press requires microscopes and a some morton salt), and i also defend anyone’s right to free speech (just look at my lack of respect for grammar in this letter and tell me i’m not for communicating freely) and i defend the right to free information in regards to public funds, but never in my 20 years of playing shows has my contract and tour rider been published in the paper that i recall.
do you know why we don’t do that or want that? a hundred articles about bananas, free speech, and guacamole is why; it’s because people don’t understand what a rider is or what the terms of a contract are. they’re out of their element, and you can’t blame them for it. and people who write about that know this. people WANT a rider to be a list of demands that a diva insists occur lest he or she refuse to play a note of music.
[From Third Man Records]
Jack goes on for several more paragraphs about TMZ and how he’d rather make music than crochet. Look … I see Jack’s point. All of this is ridiculous, and that’s why the internet seized upon the story. Because the rider itself made a big deal about guacamole and how Jack required a New York strip steak in his dressing room. Jack calls the OU paper “thin skinned,” which is funny. He’s only guaranteeing that this story shall keep on living. Now there are grumpy Jack White guacamole photo memes circulating. OU shouldn’t have published the tour rider. But Jack should have done what most artists do when their riders leak — ignore it. I’m sure he’s not at all enjoying the “click bait” to his website.
Did Jack overreact?
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN
Yes. He overreacted. It was a stupid story and would have died down already. Now I’m going to find that guacamole recipe. I love guacamole. Love it.
Bland Guac is horrible though, right?
Yes. Bland is the worst. I read his recipe, and it looked good. It’s pretty basic – avocado, lime, Serrano chilies, cilantro – but wants you to cut the avocado in half, remove the seed, then square off the avocado while still in the skin with a butter knife into quarter inch squares, then carefully scoop that out of the skin with a spoon and gently mix with the other ingredients. That keeps the avocado from getting mushy and watery and too smushed up. I think I’ll try it.
Yeah, he overreacted, but he’s hilarious when he does that.
Man, I love him so much, I want him to pen an epic weekly column: weekly bitching and moaning about the too pale moon and modern trouser hems and ripe avocados and the dusty dust that settles on his bed while he’s out there touring (for us, silly ungrateful masses) and being awesome.
Ps, I really do love him. He’s über-cool 🙂
Somehow his bitchiness is endearing and not obnoxious. Not quite sure how that works…but yeah, Jack White posts are such a treat! And I love that it was NPR that poked him some more about this-they do have a sense of humor!
I find him strangely attractive. “Click bait”! Ah haha.
He’s scared that people will now see him as a Van Halen type: diva-ish and and demanding: take out all the brown candies! He’s talented, but he’s kind of off. What did Lord Byron say? Is not wit to madness oft allied? That’s Jack White.
Except Van Halen had a reason for the removal of the brown m&ms, to see if the rider was being read.
Buried amongst dozens of points in Van Halen’s rider was an odd stipulation that there were to be no brown M&M’s candies in the backstage area. If any brown M&M’s were found backstage, the band could cancel the entire concert at the full expense of the promoter. That meant that because of a single candy, a promoter could lose millions.
For decades this stood as a humiliating act of self-indulgence, a rock band forcing someone to search through candy, removing every last brown one, for no apparent reason. Yet when lead singer David Lee Roth finally divulged the real reason for the bizarre clause, an entirely different picture was painted, one that serves as a valuable lesson for business.
In now-departed arenas such as Toronto’s Maple Leaf Gardens, the original Boston Garden and Chicago Stadium, Van Halen was loading in massive amounts of staging, sound equipment and lighting. Unfortunately, these buildings were never built to accommodate a rock band of Van Halen’s scope. Without specific guidelines, old floors could buckle and collapse, beams could rupture, and the lives of the band, their crew and fans could be at serious risk.
http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/232420
@CR That’s interesting and I didn’t know that was the story behind it (I thought, wow, every brown m&m, that’s very OCD ) Thanks for explaining.
On a seperate note, are these old pictures of him? I thought he had a different haircut now or something.
Yes, I’d heard that, but couldn’t think of another diva’s demands offhand. Maybe Mariah Carey? I know Leann Rimes just asks for Costco cheese plates. 🙂
The only reason this even became a story is because his agency threatened the university by saying they wouldn’t allow other clients of theirs to perform there. If that hadn’t done that, no one would have seen that article in the little ou paper and wouldn’t have published all those ‘clickbait’ stories.
Then his agency tried to backtrack, and now he’s releasing this long missive. They are the ones making it a big deal-not the media. Also he needs to learn about the shift key. Man that was hard to read.
+1. Truly, it would have been a non issue if they hadnt freaked out about it.
I’m all for publishing these riders. If outlets choose not to that’s fine, but it often doesn’t do any damage. They still get hired because the pros already know what the riders are, and most of the time people gossip about them for 10 minutes and move on.
He is so bitchy and I love him. He’s totally overreacting though. Everybody would be like OMG JACK WHITE LOVES GUAC and that’s probably the only thing that would follow him.
It’s OU. Whaddaya expect? More importantly though, can I just say what an incredible dresser this maniac is?!?! Very hot. Almost makes me wanna listen to him play guitar. Almost.
Real deal musician with bitchy attitude? Sounds like my kind of guy.
I’m not upset that he overreacted because I expect nothing less from Jack white. I’m just upset that this letter was so poorly written. I don’t think anyone is reading it thinking, ” yeah, you’re right man, I’m on your side. Your borderline delusional rantings have won me over.”
That’s Jack. Oh, I adore and love that man. He’s like a genius/Mean Girl/theater kid mash-up.”Mrs. Kri White”. yes, yes-classy.wow. I plan on seeing him live one day…I will totally make that guac recipe for him.
Right? He’s so special…
Aw Jack – you had me at bananas. Your precious and I can’t wait to try your guacamole recipe.
He seems very sensitive and plain grumpy in general but I love him anyway. He can be my Grumpy Jack any day.
IF you’re embarrassed by all u are asking for being made public maybe don’t ask for so much?
Apparently it was his band and crew who asked for all those things, not him, and knowing about his usual overanalizing, overreacting self – I believe him. He strikes me as someone who really cares about what people think about him to the point of obsession. He has a specific view of how we should perceive him and he spent his entire career making sure no one thinks he is a diva or a “rock star” in a sex, drugs and rock’n’roll sense (he used to epically rant whenever someone called him that). Now a silly guacamole gate ruined his image and he can’t let go until he proves again that he is not diva. I expect an entire series of guacamole based rants.
He’s not wrong. And yes, I enjoy a good guac rant. Well done.
Also, it’s cute they included the recipe as a kind of “who makes it best” contest. That makes me giggle.
I thought it sounded like he might be referencing the buzzfeed articles about it (which are terrible of course), and skewering the “journalist” who wrote them because he has a history with her. Something about questions she asked him and an article she wrote and he went off on her online. I read it because it said he was “sexist,” but I didn’t think it was sexist at all (except when he calls her “this chick”). To me it seemed like valid criticism, as this does. It makes him look really petty to respond in this manner to every little thing, however. Dude just let it gooooooo. It’s not tarnishing your rep.
Slightly off topic, but I worked in the f&veg dept of a supermarket while I was in school. One day, not long after I’d been hired, I had the following conversation:
“Excuse me, where are the guacamoles?”
“Sorry, the what?” [I’d heard gibberish, hadn’t made the connection.]
“The guacamoles.”
“Guacamoles? I’ve never heard of …” [Still hearing gibberish.]
“You I want to make guacamole dip.”
“Oh, wait, you mean avocados?!” [Ahha! Communication achieved!]
“Oh, are there avocados in guacamole dip? I don’t like avocados.”
“Um … yes. Definitely avocados.” [Er, maybe communication hasn’t been achieved?]
“Not guacamoles?”
“Nope, guacamoles don’t exist. Guacamole dip is made from avocados.”
“Are you sure? I liked the dip my friend made, and I hate avocados.”
“I’m sure. Are you not using a recipe?”
“Oh no, it seems simple enough, I’m sure I’ll be able to figure it out.”
And off she went with her avocados.
The fact I never saw her again to discover how the dip turned out is one of the regrets of my life. I’m still stunned by the sheer brazenness. Thinking you can make something without a recipe is fairly ballsy … STILL thinking you don’t need a recipe when it’s just been shown that you don’t know the major ingredient – it’s just in a class of its own.
LOL!
I didn’t know WME rescinded it’s boycott threat, but it did strike me odd that after a month of Hollywood being “Je Suis Charlie” and all about free speech, that they were taking a school newspaper to task about a document retrieved under the FOIA. I’m sure some other high profile WME artists did not want to get dragged under the bus over this mess with him.
Man! He’s quite handsome, isn’t he?
I found out who he was after he performed at the grammys in 2013. I’m so glad i did,he’s so talented,handsome and bitchy. I really,really, love his music! Rock on,Jack!
Why do you think they should not have published the rider? It’s interesting. And as someone who works with contacts, Jack’s explanation is fun to read because he openly explains that the guacamole bit is for their own amusement. Lawyers and business people write and execute contracts to mitigate liability. And public and private venues have government licenses and insurance and other business conditions to meet. If any performers require special needs for their equipment or their performance –that is the work that they do — they write it into the contract and there are inspections, again, all for liability issues. Explaining that guacamole recipes or brown m&m removal is for safety or some business reason shows a lack of understanding about how things work. Venues are businesses and they have a vested interest in fulfilling the contracts and keeping performers and patrons safe. Contracts that include guacamole recipes, removal of brown m & ms or bananas are pure diva vanity. And to pen an angry righteous defense is pure Jack White.
even though I admit to regularly reading celebrity gossip on wonderful gossip sites like this and dlisted, I do see his point.
I actually laughed, when I read the part about grammar. I know he rants, but I always find his rants funny.