Doug Marlette, dougmarlette.com

Let’s just get the Paris story out of the way this morning so we can move on to the other Paris stories. It turns out the story that Paris had claustrophobia was true. TMZ says that Paris suffers from Attention Deficit Disorder, just like her ex-boyfriend, Joe Francis. (Not that there should be a stigma attached to that or that it’s something she should be ashamed of.)

That must have been the medical condition referred to by Sheriff Baca in his report.

Paris is said to be “depressed but not really crying,” and that she is writing a lot in jail.

I didn’t cover Paris’ talking to Barbara Walters yesterday as I was busy talking to the local media myself. Hopefully all that has died down and we can get back to the gossip today.

So Paris told Walters over the phone from jail that she is no longer going to act dumb. She said “I used to act dumb. … That act is no longer cute,” and that she wanted the news to stop covering her and move on to “more important things.”

Paris didn’t call Walters directly at first, her mom was on the phone with her, got a call from jailbird Paris on the other line, and then Paris called Walters collect to tell her story.

Paris’ reluctant transformation through incarceration seems to be underway. She told Walters, Now, I would like to make a difference. … God has given me this new chance.”

How I would love to see Paris become a devoted Christian. It would be quite amusing to witness the change in Paris. The only way to tell if she’s about it will be to see if she milks it for publicity. A true Christian would be humble and contrite. With Paris, though, she really doesn’t have to lift a finger to get press coverage at this point.

Story details from Associated Press via NY Daily News.

Header image from Dougmarlette, used by permission of the artist and licensed from Cagle.com.