Sunday was International Women’s Day, and the United Nations’ HeForShe goodwill ambassador Emma Watson did a live Facebook Q&A to celebrate. Emma went viral last year when she made her first speech at the UN, discussing feminism, equality and why men should proudly proclaim they are feminists as well. I was surprised by the reaction to Emma’s speech, because she really didn’t say anything groundbreaking. I suppose it was “new” to a generation that grew up alongside Emma though.
Anyway, after Emma’s speech went viral, Emma got some really awful threats and comments from “men’s rights activists”. There was even the “threat” to release nude photos of Emma… because she talked about feminism or something. That site threatening to release the photos ended up being a hoax or some kind of advertising for something else, although let’s be honest: there were lots of men’s rights activists who were truly pissed off at her. In her Facebook chat, Emma spoke about the situation:
On the backlash to her speech: “There was a website set up that was threatening to release naked images of me, with like a countdown and whatever else. I knew it was a hoax. I knew the pictures didn’t exist.”
Whether that moment was evidence of gender inequality: “A lot of people close to me knew gender equality was an issue but didn’t think it was that urgent. You know, ‘We live in Great Britain – this is a thing of the past. We’re fine. We’re good. We have got far enough.’ When they saw that the minute I stepped up and talked about women’s rights I was immediately threatened. I mean within less than 12 hours I was receiving threats. I think they were really shocked and one of my brothers in particular was very upset.”
Gender equality in small gestures: “I actually took a man out for dinner and I chose the restaurant and I offered to pay. It was really awkward and uncomfortable – I’m just going to say that. It was not going down well! He was just like ‘I’m not really sure about this.’ It was making him a bit tetchy. But the cool thing about it was we were both willing to have the conversation about why it was awkward and why it was uncomfortable. We were able to have the dialogue ‘It’s OK. I chose the restaurant as it is my favorite restaurant and I would love to pay. But next time you chose the restaurant and you pay.’ “
Do you find it disingenuous that Emma talks so much about the naked-photo-hoax without acknowledging that it was in fact a hoax? I don’t, but that’s because I wouldn’t blame her at all for not keeping up with that story and how it all turned out to be a hoax. And there were days when no one knew if it was a hoax and it just seemed like so many “men’s rights activists” were legitimately pissed. As for Emma’s attempt at going dutch or outright paying for a date… is that really still a thing? Even when I was in college, I would still offer to pay and sometimes the dudes would take me up on it. Maybe I’ve just known really unchivalrous men in my life.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
I’m not sure I understand the last few sentences. What is meant by “unchivalrous men”?
Because they accepted the offer to have dinner paid for them?
I found that bit slightly confusing as well. I don’t think that chivalry is just always paying for stuff.
Also, I thought she did acknowledge that the photo hack was a hoax: “I knew it was a hoax. I knew the pictures didn’t exist”.
That’s what I was thinking. She does say she knew it was a hoax.
And as soon as the threats started, I’m pretty sure she stated there was no way they had photos, she knew they didn’t exist. If people didn’t know it was a hoax, that’s not on her.
I want her outfit.
I totally bought that exact shirt at the Gap in 1993. The 90s look sooo good on her.
Going dutch is considered rude here, even among friends or collegues. The one that does the inviting does the paying.
Where is that place? I need to move there.
Same thing where I am from. I guess it’s just how we were raised. Even if I go out with completely platonic guy friends, they usually pay or at least offer to pay.
But it’s not just the guy that pays. If I invited a guy friend for coffee, I’m paying. And he pays next time.
I’m tired today so maybe I’ve misread something but I thought she was acknowledging it ‘ knew it was a hoax. I knew the pictures didn’t exist.”
You didn’t misread, that bit confused me too.
I’m not surprised that her date wanted to pay. Some men are like that, for whatever reason they would never let a woman pay for dinner. I also have girlfriends who will only date people who pay for absolutely everything. That doesn’t meet my personal definition of chivalry, but people have different opinions about it. My take: whoever invited the other person out to dinner should pay. If the other party wants to take over and/or split it, then you can work that out (hopefully with as little awkwardness as possible) when the time comes.
I adore Emma, who in my mind is something like a real life Hermione Granger. What a rockstar.
When my then boyfriend (now husband) and I met in college, we were both truly struggling with money. I would pay for dates, gas, clothes, entertainment, bills as much as he would. It all depended on how the week went and how our respective bank accounts looked. We never kept track or made a huge deal about it, it’s just what we had to do to make it then.
Sounds perfect.
I know that she’s the public figurehead/face for HeForShe, but what exactly does HeForShe do?
I think they are aiming to open a dialogue with the “feminism is anti men” dudes by using an affable generally well liked actress. Other than this I don’t think I heard about much action going on.
I saw a HeForShe commercial on the elevator at work once (which didn’t tell me anything about what it is) and that was it. The campaign seems badly thought out – or, like Maria said, probably not thought out at all.
promotes good intentions through social media? I don’t even know.
I’m 100 percent with the sentiment, but what this campaign actually does or achieves is very vague.
i tried finding it out. its extremely vague. basically emma said “do stuff for gender equality and then report back” when people asked what she said “its up to you”
it does not seem like someone thought furtther than “lets hire Emma Watson and hope for the best”
They have a website that spells out what they’re trying to do.
It’s a social movement, so the main this is awareness and engaging men into being supportive of gender equality, but it looks like they also provide guidelines and support for college campuses or other communities or groups who want to have local involvement. Donations don’t go to that, but to the UN Women’s program, and they list some examples of what the funds do, which is mostly helping women in 3rd world countries or struggling areas.
I think it’s a good initial campaign although I’m not sure how it can evolve beyond explaining what feminism is. Either way, I’m glad this campaign exists. I’m a 23 year old white, straight male and I only realised what feminism was when I was about 19 years old. Many of my male friends still don’t get the concept and many of my female friends don’t understand what it means either, which is pretty sad. Many people from my generation (and my parents’ generation) don’t really get the concept either so this is why it needs to be highlighted.
I always associated feminism with man hating and women raising their status above men. It wasn’t until I went to college that I realised that feminism was, in simplest terms, recognising that women deserve equal rights to men. Even then, I still thought women in Western countries still have it pretty easy. They can work in any job, vote and had the free will to do what they want. It was only until an intelligent female friend pointed out statistics and the general EXPECTATIONS that are expected of women that I realised that there was a problem here.
There’s still a lot of misogyny out there, even if it’s underhand and subconscious. I’ve certainly been guilty of it even though I have no hatred or belligerence about women. I love my mother, my sister, my grandmother, my female relatives, and my female friends and I want them to have the same opportunities as me and other men.
But so many women conform to this idea of being lesser than men, it doesn’t even seem to be a conscious thing, it’s just that society has defined these gender roles for men and women and it just something we seem to automatically subscribe to, unless we think critically and challenge these ideals.
I believe feminism is a discussion that needs to go mainstream and I think Emma Watson is a perfect ambassador for the campaign. She’s extremely popular with my generation and she’s classy and intelligent too. And while many people might be cynical about her, I do think she really cares about equality too.
Gender roles, equality and feminism need to be discussed and gender roles need to be diluted so that men and women can do what they want freely and not have their personas questioned or stereotyped. We need to stop with narrow perceptions of both men and women.
I’m a guy and I would love to say I had an intelligent discussion about gender inequality on a well-written celebrity gossip blog but because of the constrained roles society places us in, it’s probably something I wouldn’t be comfortable sharing with many people.
Me and my BF (and my friends too) work under the premise that each one pays what each one ate, unless one of us is broke and the other one can invite. Or one is feeling particularly generous. I guess the guys I’ve met care about their wallets more than seeming manly?
My boyfriend and I pretty much split everything or take turns paying. But I have a friend who will never pay if she is with a man. Ever. Under any circumstances. Doesn’t matter if it is a date, a friendly get-together or even a group thing. If men are present, she expects to not pay. Claims that is how her parents raised her. As a result, she has boyfriends but she has absolutely no male friends.
She sounds delightful.
I find that the normal and healthy way. I don’t think it has anything to do with being manly or chivalry…we are in 2015 for crying out loud! I mean, if one of the persons in the couple makes more money and wants to ship in with a bigger part that makes total sense, but dividing the expenses seems to me the most reasonable option.
@ Lilacflowers
That with your friend sounds awful…so much for feminism, gender equality and so on.
Yeah, I thought splitting things equally was the ‘normal’ thing to do, too… – the only time I let a man pay for me is when I’m out with my father.
She specifically said it was a hoax. Am I just being obtuse right now? I think everyone made a big deal about her speech, not because it was particularly groundbreaking, but because a celebrity finally addressed the definition of feminism correctly and tried to get the public involved.
i think she thinks that it was a hoax in terms of she knew there arent nudes of her. not that the whole thing was never a real threat.
emmas situation is not really comparable to “real” women. of course Emma should pay, she makes more than 99% of the men in the world. even the fanciest restaurant costs nothing for someone of her wealth.
I don’t think she dates extra poor men. Yes she can afford it, but most likely so can her date. Women paying is a part of equality, as it should be.
My strategy is “who invites, pays” too. Or paying for oneself or splitting, it depends on who, why etc.
The original hoaxers were rantic media, who were a feminist group trying to get sympathy for Emma…..
Idk man, I’m female and I seem to always be paying for everything for the guys I date, even when we make the same or I make less. It’s why I’m enjoying being single right now, I’m saving so much money!
Next relationship will be egalitarian, I am tired of paying for dudes who make double what I do all the time.
But the thing is it wasn’t a hoax: the threat was real. The attack was real. The public intent to scare and humiliate her was real. It doesn’t matter if the pics didn’t exist.